Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 2025 Rebrand & Glow Up Day 2: Striking balance between the slow life & working hard

Transcript

2025 Rebrand & Glow Up Day 2: Striking balance between the slow life & working hard · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Hello, my beautiful beans, and welcome to the second day
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: of our ten day life revamp research. Everything's going to
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: be amazing after these ten days if we implement everything
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: and if we just keep doing the work after the fact.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: But welcome.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: It is day two, and in today we are going
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: to be focusing on self love and self care. And
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: the reason why I decided to do this day relatively
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: early on in the ten days is because without self love,
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to talk about self respect, self love,
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: all of things under self care, everything under self love.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: So I'm not saying self a thousand things, but it's
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: all encompassing, okay, But without self love it makes everything
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: so much harder. Now you can be working on your
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: self love. You don't have to be like I need
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: to achieve self love and.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: Then I'm working.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: But you can be working on everything at the same time,
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: because one feeds the other.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: That's the beauty of it, Okay.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Because self love comes in many, many, many forms, and
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I want you to get clear on that. Self love
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: is not just the nice gestures that you do for
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: yourself or time off or a nice bath. While all
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: those things are great forms of self love, because you're
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: putting yourself.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: First, blah blah blah blah. But self love is all encompassing.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: It is in how you set your goals.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: It is yesterday, what we spoke about is one of
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: the best ways to show self love. It is showing
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: up and making commitment and following through. That to me
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: is one of the greatest ways of showing self love.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: There's many, but this is one of the greatest.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: And the reason for that is because you choose number one,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: to commit to something which you don't have to do.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: There's no gun to your head, your income doesn't rely
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: on it. It's not your livelihood. It is a choice
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: to make a difference for you. And then you're choosing
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: to show up again and again and again. You could
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: be somewhere else, you're doing something else with someone else,
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: but no, you are choosing to show up at that time,
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: at that place for you.
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: The more you do that, the more you.
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: Start to respect yourself and your time and prioritize that.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: And then when someone says, oh, let's go on, it's
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: like I've actually committed to doing this today, or to
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: doing this tonight, or I've got to get this done,
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: you know. Then you start thinking, Wow, my relationship with
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: myself is actually beginning to evolve, it's beginning to change.
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: I notice I've prioritized myself.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: So self love comes in many forms, like I said,
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: but putting yourself first in the sense of committing to
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: something and following through and showing up even when it's
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: not the funnest thing, it's not the prettiest thing, it's
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: not like a pampering but it's doing this for me
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: and for my future self.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: That is a great form of self love.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: So that's what I mean by you don't have to
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: wait until you love yourself before you can start setting
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: goals and doing all these things, because part of goal
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: setting is a form of self love.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: They work both ways.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: And they compliment each other beautifully. So it's great to
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: be working on it the same time because they kind
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: of each thing accelerate to the other, if that makes sense.
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: So, but having said.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: That, it's really difficult, really difficult to work on your
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: goals without focusing on your relationship with yourself. Now, your
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: relationship with yourself is very very I don't want to
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: be negative, but it can be very complicated because there's
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: so many moving parts, and our moods are so influenced
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: by the outside world, by our outside relationships, by things
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: that can go on. So you're going to have your
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: good days, you're going to have your not so good days,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: and a lot of the time it is unavoidable. What
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: we're aiming for is how am I dealing with what's
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: coming my way today? Because there's so much that's in control,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: and then there's so much that's not within my control. Now,
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: what is within my control is the things that I
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: can action, the things that I can you know, do
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: within this realm. And also what is within my control
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: is how I react to something happening. How am I
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: proactive and my reactive? How do I pick myself up?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: How do I deal with it? How what toolbox of
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: emotions do I have to process this thing?
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Those are the things.
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: That we're working on that make us feel better overall.
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: And one of the best ways to master your emotions
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: and master how you deal with things that come your
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: way without feeling like you're falling apart is to have
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: a very very good balance emotionally with your day to
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: day life. So I don't want the next ten days
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: to be like You're going to fucking hustle, You're gonna
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: fucking do this, You're gonna do that, You're gonna take
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: this off, you're gonna get all there. Thanks, Because that's
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: only probably fifty percent of what we need to be
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: talking about for you to feel like you're the best
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: version of.
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: Yourself sense.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Sense.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: The other fifty.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Percent comes in playful fun, doing less, genuinely resting, slowing.
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: The fuck down, and recovery. Okay. So this is the
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: side of us that we avoid. It's really weird. We're
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: so this is what I mean by we are complicated.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: The thought of resting and doing nothing makes us feel
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I've got other things to do.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: I feel guilty, I don't want to do it. I
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: just can't relax.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: I've got But in the same breath, we will sit
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: on the couch for an hour and doom scroll doing
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: fuck all. Okay, And this happens all the time, the
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: thought of like, well, I don't have time.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: For that, but I just spent two hours doing this shit.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: I don't have time to start doing that thing. But
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: I'll also have time to waste my life away. Okay.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: So we need to be really honest with ourselves, because
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: there's out of the people that say I don't have
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: time for there's maybe the smallest percentage where that's actually
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: the truth. And in reality, what you're saying is I
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: haven't prioritized the time for that, Okay.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: But what we're talking about is prioritizing.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: Time to slow down literally the whole stop and smell
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: the roses, all of that, and to really pause and
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: take breaks and feel like you are enjoying the present moment.
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: And it is probably one of the things that we
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: avoid the most, even when we're someone that's like, oh,
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: I'm not motivated, I'm not this, I'm not that a
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: lot of people would rather still try and slog it
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: out and hustle and do that, then slow down and
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: relax and enjoy. And the reason for that is because
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: we think that if we slow down, if we do
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: less in that moment, if we just really become present
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: and have a hobby and have fun and be playful,
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: then we're just going to be sitting there being anxious,
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: being like I've got all this shit to do and
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing it.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I'm not being productive.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I'm just you know, how can I have fun when
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I'm not yet where I want to be in life?
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: And the fucked thing or the good thing.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: If you want to think about it through a different way,
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: is that the only way to feel that you are
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: where you want to be is by feeling that right now,
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: in the moment.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: Can it be achieved straight away takes a little bit
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: of practice.
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: Not straight away, but when you start to realize that
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: the only thing that we have is the now. And yes,
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: you're working towards your goal, so you feel better, so
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: you're healthier, so you've got more command over your emotions,
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: so you can deal with things better. But ultimately, what
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: we're experiencing is that today is the now, and most
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: of us live our lives in the past or in
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: the future, and then it'll be six months time and
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: we'll look back at this time being like, oh, that
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: was such a good time. But in reality, at the time,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: you weren't appreciating it. You weren't in the moment, you
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: weren't feeling good. So one of the best ways of
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: changing your relationship with yourself, with self love and respecting
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: yourself is to start creating more and more moments where
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: you are present, where you're having fun, where you're being playful,
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: where you're slowing the fuck down. Last year, for me
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: twenty twenty four was a year where I really started
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: to embrace that, and I found it quite.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Difficult at the start.
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: Because I like to work, and even when I'm not working,
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: I sometimes like trick myself into pretending that I'm actually
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: doing something productive when i'm not. And that's like a
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: recurring thing for me that I've done a lot off.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: So even though I'm doing fuck all and I'm not
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: doing anything towards work, I'll be like, oh, but I'm
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: actually doing a you know, a bit and I'm just
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: being just doing nothing with my time. Or I'm pretending
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: that I'm I'm writing a list, but I've already written
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: that list like two days ago. I'm just rewriting it,
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Or I'm you know, googling something that I've already kind
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: of looked up. You know, I'm just not not being
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: productive with my time. But I also don't want to
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: be doing nothing. So last year I'm like, I need
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: to be doing like more proper slowing down. And for me,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: one of the best ways to slow down was to
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: choose a task that I found enjoyable, where I could
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: be present but not where it was a slog. And
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: so for me and Tar, cooking something that I always
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: thought that I would hate. And the reason I liked
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: it is because I can put a rom com on
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: in the background. You guys know how much I love
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: her on, and I could just be present with like chopping,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: prepping food, and it feels like I'm like working towards something,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: but there's no pressure on the outcome of that thing.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Who cares if it doesn't turn out?
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: And that I start to calm down, start to calm down,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: calm down, calm down.
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: I start to feel a lot lighter.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: I start to feel a lot better, and then I
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: start to feel really optimistic, and then I start to
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: feel really happy.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Then I start to.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Get excited about other things that are coming up, and
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: then I start to look forward to.
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: The work and also the play.
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: And so the more you start to like slow down
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: and have slow pockets within your day, weirdly enough, the
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: more on you are when you're working. We think that
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: we've got to be on twenty four seven. But what
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: the problem with that is that it actually diminishes your
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: output overall, because it's impossible to be on twenty four seven,
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: but we act like we are on twenty four seven.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: It's not sustainable.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: So if you actually want to be killing it at work,
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: if you want to be creative, if you want to
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: be doing all that, huh, you need to have that
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: rest recovery that's slowing down. Look at athletes, for example,
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: here's like a perfect analogy. Athletes, the really fucking hectic
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: athletes need a huge percentage. I wouldn't say the main percentage,
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: but let's call it thirty percent. I don't know the
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: exact numbers of time that's put into physio recovery, prehab, stretching,
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: resting time. So much of their overall training has to
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: do with the rest recovery rebuilding phase, okay, where their
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: body gets to calm the fuck down before they put
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: themselves back through more. If you, as an athlete, just
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: if every moment, every hour that you had dedicated to
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: your training regime was to work your ass off, you
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: would burn out and your output just wouldn't be as good.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: The same goes mentally for you. So one of the
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: main things that you're going to figure out in day
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: two is how am I going to create real pockets
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: of playtime, having fun, really slowing down and really being
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: present in the moment. I'd love for you to take
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: my thing of cooking, because that's like a really easy
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: one to do. But you might hate that shit and
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: be like that is not fucking relaxing, or I already
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: do it, but I need something else that's going to
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: slow me down even more.
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: Okay, but I want.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: You to start looking at how can I really slow
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: down so I'm able to be more motivated, more driven
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: in the things that inspire me or excite me in
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: my life. You know, whether it's work, whether it's you know, career,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: a course that you're studying, or whatever, you're going to
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: notice that your output in the things that require quote
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: unquote hustle is going to be so much better, so
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: much more impressive, so much you amaze yourself at your creativity,
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: what you're able to put out there when you've had
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: that rest and when and I'm talking about mental emotional rest.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not just talking about sleep, because I could go
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: on about sleep, but that's different kind of rest. I'm
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: talking about emotion tapping out and resting.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: A really good and like example of this is I
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: was like listening to a meditation that I found on YouTube,
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: and it was like a visualization manifestation meditation that I.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Was like kind of listening to.
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: And then at the end of the meditation, the host
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: or the guide I should say, I should call it, said,
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: now you know you've got your idea of what you know,
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: like everything that you're visualizing and imagining, and then he says,
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: now let it go. Let it go, just completely let
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: it go. In order for you to like bring in
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: things and start to make things happen for you have
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: to let it go. And this is the same with
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: how you are treating your mind. If your mind is
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: on well, i've got to achieve this, I've got to
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: cheat this twenty four to seven, You're never able to
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: let it go and just do its magic behind the scenes. Okay,
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: So letting go, relaxing, slowing down is going to be key,
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: not only this month, but for the whole year, for
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: the rest of your life in order for you to
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: strike that balance and start to actually feel happy and
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: really experience what it is to be in the present.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: Enjoy the fact that you're on a journey and you're
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: not necessarily at your destination. Yet enjoy the fact that
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: you know, you know, there's things firing on different cylinders
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: at all different times. And we've got to like kind
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: of juggle at all, some more than others at different times.
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: But I'm able to still slow down in this moment
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: and really enjoy this moment.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: That is where you really start to build on your
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: relationship with yourself. That's where you really start to prioritize yourself.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: And then you begin to realize the.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: More present I am now, the more I'm able to
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: genuinely have fun.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: So I'm not talking about get home, sit and scroll
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: and talking about actually be immersed in the moment of
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: what I'm doing. The better things go for me. Things
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: are just going better for me. Things are falling into place.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: I approach things differently. I approach things with a fresher mind.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: We take for granted how much control we have over
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: something based on how we approach that thing. But the
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: only way you can I prove that and therefore improve
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: your relationship with yourself is through your recovery, rest, play time,
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: switching off, letting it go, releasing it aspect of the
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: day or of the week. Okay, So I want you
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: to now you can just think about this. You don't
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: have to write it down, but if you want, I
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: want you to write down a bunch of things that
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: you can do where you feel that you're able to
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: be more present or slowing down.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: You know. Another thing is, you know, meet up with
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: someone and.
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: Just go for a walk with like just and just talk,
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: just talk about while you're walking. Another thing is you
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: can do there's like walking meditations. The Joe de spends
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: a walking meditation.
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: Another thing you could do is puzzles. Love puzzles so much.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I fucking love puzzles.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: Whatever it is, it could be the lamest quote unquote.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: It's not lame, it's so ebic, but it could be
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: the lamest thing. But it's just going to be for
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: you to slow down, okay, So that you've got to
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: have clear and you need to be doing it at
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: least at least twice a week, okay, where you dedicate
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: time to slowing down in some way, shape or form,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: and you can determine what the timeframe is, what the
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: duration is, whatever it is. But only when you do
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: that are you then able to really rape the rewards
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: of all the work you put in with all the
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: goals that you're setting. That is all for the episode
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: of today. Love you guys so much. As always remember
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: be kind to yourself. You can't to your brain. Don't
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: take shit from anyone, and especially don't take shit from yourself.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: Dun'k