Latest / 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids. / Equipping Fathers to Purposefully Parent w/ Jeff Hamilton, Founder of Dad Academy

Transcript

Equipping Fathers to Purposefully Parent w/ Jeff Hamilton, Founder of Dad Academy · 5–Minute Parenting: Tips to Help You Raise Competent, Godly Kids.

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to another episode of the Five Minute Parenting Podcast.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Karen Ferguson, wife, mom, grandmom, and children's book author with a background in K-8 education and a passion for equipping parents to raise confident and God-confident kids.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_01: In this podcast, we'll cover parenting practices for both a practical view and a biblical view.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Our goal is to help you raise kids with a positive, godly self-image so they can become all they were created to be.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're busy, so we'll keep it short.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_01: Let's take just five minutes and dive in.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to Five Minute Parenting.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to have a dad on the show today.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff Hamilton, the founder of Dad Academy, is with us to talk about his new book, Dad Academy: Raising Courageous, Capable, Confident Kids.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff Hamilton is a pastor, coach, and consultant, but the roles he loves the most is as husband to Jamie and dad to his adult kids.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: The Hamiltons have had the privilege of serving families for over 35 years in pastoral ministry.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff is passionate about encouraging men and equipping people to live purposeful lives.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: As a contributor to the National Center for Fatherhood and podcasts such as Trinity Broadcasting Networks, our town, Jeff brings a compelling perspective to conversations about faith, family, and leadership.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff, welcome to the show.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, thanks, Karen, and thanks to my mom who wrote that wonderful bio.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds like she would be very proud of me.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm so glad that you're here and that we're able to connect.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, this is a real treat.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for coming on today to share about the heart behind your dad academy workshops and about your new book.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: So it, you know, it's clear that Jeff, you have a passion for reaching dads and helping them become the best parents they can be.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, where did this passion come from?
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, in my years of serving families, right, I've been able to see um parents, families that did it well, and unfortunately, families that didn't do it so well, and was able to use some of my experience even as a as a parent.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually waited to start Dad Academy until I made sure that my kids were fairly functional adults as they began their own journey into adulthood.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I thought that there were some things that would be really helpful if men knew.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: My heart really is uh as a pastor to reach the hearts of men.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I really believe that a lot of guys um want to fulfill this part of their lives.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we think that motherhood uh is so connected to a woman's identity, but it is so true for dads as well.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I felt that if if men knew what was expected of them and they had a plan to accomplish it, then they could be confident in knowing that they are fulfilling their purpose, uh, the purpose that God has entrusted to them of uh partnering with him in in seeing these people uh become who God's designed them to be.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so uh that's kind of where Dad Academy, Dad Academy kind of came from.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: We were talking before the show that there's not a lot of resources just for dads.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_01: And so I I love this.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_01: I'm so glad to be able to have you on today.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: And congratulations.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: There are some, oh, thank you.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: There there are some good encouragements, yeah, but there's nothing that that helps a guy take.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I'm I assume, you know, I I'm married, I know how it is.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I need some a step-by-step kind of thing plan that I can follow.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And while there's some great encouragements for dads, something that is practical that they can implement gives them a lot of confidence.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what Dad Academy hopes to do.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: Well, and I was gonna say, congratulations on your new book.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, that's a that's a big deal.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_01: So, um, what is the biggest lesson you learn while writing that book, Dad Academy?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: We wrote the book because it makes the information so much more accessible uh to so many more people.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: Dad Academy was originally uh created as kind of a workshop for guys to go through, whether it was over a weekend with a couple of sessions.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, my greatest thing, though, in writing the book is it gave us the opportunity to tell the stories of dads, dads from all different kinds of backgrounds and settings, and to find the things uh that are so in common.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, I met this morning for breakfast with one of the contributors uh who told his story in the book.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I think my favorite thing about the book is not necessarily all the stuff that I contributed, but the fact that guys are able to share their story.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_00: And any man who picks up this book is going to find something in common with uh a couple of the men who share their story, and that will help encourage them in the fact that they're uh doing what God has equipped them to do and that they can actually that they can actually do it and walk away with some confidence in that.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the power of an individual story uh is really the the the secret behind uh this particular version of Dad Academy in this book form.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was gonna ask you that you know the book is uh filled with stories of other men, you know, who you are close to or who have gone through the DA Academy.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_01: Is there one story that stands out to you?
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_00: Well, there's there, man, there's 10 of them that are told.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um about half of them are people who grew up without dads in their homes.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, that's true of our population.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: 40% of people who uh live in America have grown up without a father in their home.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: This has a great impact on men because how do they know how to be a dad without an example to be able to follow?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: So there's so many stories that was told about uh a particular dad who really didn't think he had a skill to be able to offer one of his kids, but when he asked him, uh the child said that this is something that I wanted to learn.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it was right in the sweet spot of where this dad was.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: There's a a great story of uh of a young man who was never told that he was loved growing up, being raised by a single mom because she wanted to raise strong men, and how a mentor came into his life and was able to develop these kind of healthy relationships.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: All of these kinds of stories, again, talk about the way that the grace of God is at work in our lives and has surrounded us with people who will help us become who he's designed us to become.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then Dad Academy comes alongside and helps dads develop a specific plan to be able to implement this mission of being a dad, of passing on his values and his skills to his children in a very strategic and intentional way that helps uh a man feel that he's being successful in this most important task.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: It is like that mentorship, which is so important in our lives.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, we do have a lot of moms who listen to the show.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: So, how can dads work together intentionally with their child's mom to bring out the best in their child?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: There's actually a whole chapter in Dad Academy.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I believe it's uh uh chapter two that talks about the parenting partnership.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that if we see the um the mutual roles that are used in how life comes, how uh the mom nurtures life, but the dad um as the seed actually gives life to things.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: We see this incredible partnership, how God has designed um men and women, uh, husbands and wives, moms and dads to be able to work together in the shaping and in the formation of their child, both in their identity and their spiritual development, their social and educational development.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I think one of the biggest encouragements that I would give to moms is uh reinforce the value that your child's father has in their life.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: All of the research, it is not to put down uh the insignificance of mom.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: That we we know that that is not true, but the research shows that people who have an involved dad, children who have an involved dad in their lives have uh performed better at school, have better social skills, uh, live with a greater sense of confidence, are able to uh take uh better risks and live without fear in their life.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: There's a very significant role that dads come alongside.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I would just say the best thing that you can do um is to let your uh spouse or your children's father be that father.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Let him be who God's designed him to be because he brings something very special uh to the recipe of what God uses to help shape and form the lives of your children.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's good.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: That is good.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Jeff, we know that communication is so important in families, and you talk about the importance of asking your child open-ended questions about their emotions and experiences.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: How can we create those opportunities with those types of conversations with our kids in a natural way?
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think Deuteronomy 6 gives us this idea of how those things take place, right?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: But you talk about stuff when you get up in the morning and as you go to bed at night, as you walk along the way.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: One of the encouragements that I give a dad is never run an errand without a kid in the car with you, because you never know when there's going to be an opportunity for them to ask questions or for a conversation to be initiated that will be used to help shape uh their worldview, their sense of self, um, understanding of the value that they have with God.
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's about creating intentional opportunities or taking advantage of the opportunities that are already there just to be available and be present for those moments.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you know, we have just a few minutes left, but before we close, can you just share a few specifics about this dad plan and how it can lead to a lasting legacy?
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I really think dads are most successful, as I mentioned, when they have a when they know it's expected and have a plan to accomplish it.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: And we say that a father's mission is to pass on his values and his skills to his children.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: Values-based parenting is one of the things that helps us determine the choices and decisions we make in our lives.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so we help dads um understand what their values are, because values are not what you want to be.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Values are reflected in your behavior, that what you think is important is what you give your time and your attention to.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: And so we help dads understand those kinds of things and they become a framework for the way in which your family begins to process choices and decisions.
• 11:39
  SPEAKER_00: We begin to talk about an intentional strategy for uh what are the things that you know how to do as a dad.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: We don't often think that uh the process of skill development, whether it's emotional intelligence by teaching our toddlers how to say please and thank you, or whether it is teaching them practical skills like tying their shoes, that all throughout life, there's an opportunity to prepare your kids for success in life by passing on the skills that you have on to them.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so we help them come up with a strategy and then we also make them put some things down on their calendar that how are they going to make the best of the moments that are already provided in your family, birthdays and anniversaries and celebrations, and um that dad is not only present for them, but that he's using them to make a memorable deposit in those in their lives that children know that this has been something significant in their life because they have significance and it's attributed by uh dad's participation in those things, even as far as making sure that your family takes a vacation, because those are opportunities for uh bonding and for memories to be made that create that family culture that gives your kids a sense of identity.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: All of those pieces become a practical part of your dad plan.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: And it's not something that just happens once, it's something that happens every year or two.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: You get a chance to reevaluate because your kids go through different stages, need new things from you, and need new skills to be able to pass on.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so dad has rails to run on for the rest of his parenting life.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, I love that.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Jeff, thank you so much for being on the show.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I feel like we could go another hour.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: You you are such a great resource to dads and families.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I would like love to have you back on the show again.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I do encourage our listeners to check out your book and your dad academy workshops.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: Where is the best place to find you online?
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, let's start with the website, which is dadacademy.info.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, dadacademy.info, there's actually a free download there that's called the three responsibilities of a father checklist that kind of helps the dad understand kind of the heart of what we're wanting to do at dad academy.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: You can also order the book there or sign up to be a part of the master class.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: And to get little tastes of uh what we do at dad academy, you can follow us on uh our social media.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Instagram is dad.academy.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh that's dad.academy at um Facebook and on TikTok.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's just dad academy straight through.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_00: And uh you'll get enough kind of uh of some of the insights and tastes of what we do uh at dad academy and how we hope to resource and encourage uh uh dads and families um to be able to parent on purpose.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we will have links to all of that in the show notes.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: So, listeners, be sure to check that out for links to Jeff's website, his social media channels, his book, and um his workshops.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: And share this episode with another dad you want to encourage.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Then come back next week for another episode of Five Minute Parenting.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: Have a blessed week.