Latest / Full Spectrum Cycling / Full Spectrum Cycling Show #276 – Surprise Guest Ian Kleptar – Bicycle Benefits – Car Free Week – Hayward Trip – Boris Concert

Transcript

Full Spectrum Cycling Show #276 – Surprise Guest Ian Kleptar – Bicycle Benefits – Car Free Week – Hayward Trip – Boris Concert · Full Spectrum Cycling

• 0:00
  All right. Well, this is as good as it's gonna get It's gonna have to be.
• 0:06
  [hard rock music] Am I standing next to Sean or something?
• 0:34
  [laughs] Well, why? Feels like I'm standing next to Sean. With the music? Just the antics- Oh... and the music. [laughs] Ah, yes. Well, we did play Fates of Death on the way up to Hayward. [laughs] Did you, now? Yeah.
• 0:49
  Did you slap anyone in the face? No. That's his thing. Just Dave. No face slapping, I guess. Okay. [laughs] I thought you meant- I wasn't. Is that a yep? I thought you meant you just slapped him in the face. Hayward?
• 1:00
  No, Fates of Death. I, I- Yeah. It's recorded really well. Yep. Yeah. I was quite impressed with the quality of the audio. Cool. And they've got a video out directed by Matika Bouchard. Really, now?
• 1:13
  All their friends, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [laughs] Yeah. Yeah. All right. All right. Yeah, I kinda remember that. Of Coven fame. They were down on the, uh, lake... or the, uh, river.
• 1:21
  That's a good spot- Yeah, yeah... for that... river trails. Yeah. Yeah. Nice stuff... some sort of... yeah. Well, I mean the river twail- twails. Twails. Twails...
• 1:25
  the river twails themselves lend themselves to a bit of like weird wiccan witchcraft-y. W- [laughs] Witchcraft-y. Right on. Oh, you know what? I gotta, I gotta switch screens. Push the button.
• 1:41
  I don't even know what's going on here. Just push button. Yeah. I got that going. Oh, I'm just making sure. I can't see it from here 'cause you got too many objects in front of you.
• 1:46
  Yeah, there's- All the bells and whistles and the-... all these things that make the show- The show... what, what it is today. Which- Where's the camera? Oh, it's us. We're all on this one now.
• 1:57
  I just never know which one. I just kind of bob randomly. Today's WMSC gear- Twist... is Alien Andre. Twist. Thank you. Alien. Um, today's... mine is, uh, you know- It's-... it's the, it's the, it's the studio shirt.
• 2:12
  Podcast MKE shirt. MKE Podcast. Podcast MKE. Okay. See? Okay. You... the big word is podcast, the MKE is the other. I see that. Is that how it's supposed to work? The bigger the word, the first it comes? I don't know.
• 2:25
  When you- It's not working for me in Portugal. [laughs] In Portuguese. I think most people see it as MKE Podcast, to be honest. Yeah. I do. I don't know. But that's not what it is, so. It's cool. It's, it's cool.
• 2:35
  You can correct them. Yeah. Unless they're giving you money. Right. Well, it's- Then they can call you whatever the hell they want. It's the studio we're in right here. This is Podcast MKE. Big arms. Big arms?
• 2:47
  But we're all looking at Craig. Oh, now we have big arms. [laughs] Wow. Uh, yeah. Lots of stuff. What happened? I mean, a hell of a weekend. Week/weekend. Yeah, I mean, well- Yeah.
• 2:57
  Since we've last talked with you, fair listener- I, I feel like we should look at the orange disc which is related to the show that JK and I went to. Oh, by the way, I... Wow, this, this, this just...
• 3:11
  You know, sometimes technology just- Bites... you know. Especially when you do a software update, like, right before you do a show. You don't do that. Why would you do that? 'Cause it's, um- Come on now... stupid.
• 3:22
  It wasn't, wasn't my fault. I didn't do it on purpose. Um- They just sh- you know, jingle the kings- Like, well ex-... the right way... ex- explain how we ended up at the Boris show
• 3:33
  for no money at all, which was a good call. Ah, yes. I, uh, was able to win tickets on the, uh, the fair, mighty 91, 91.7 WMSC, also streaming online at wmc.org or download the app. Um- [laughs]
• 3:51
  I like that. Well done. [coughs] And, uh, I've been holding out, trying to, you know, save my luck to g- uh,
• 3:59
  try to win tickets for the Psychedelic Furs and Jesus and Mary Chain show, which was last night, and I didn't go to it. And, um, [laughs] you know, like...
• 4:11
  But there was a ticket give during Buzz's, uh, show, Buzz's Garage. Fine, fine, fine, good, hard punk- Good show. Good show... jams. Definitely a good show. What, what time- And it was, it was, it was odd...
• 4:21
  what time, what time is the Buzz show on? I... 'Cause that's when I don't- Mondays from 6:00 to 9:00... I don't... Monday 6 to 9. Okay. I don't catch that one regularly.
• 4:27
  It, it depends on where my head's at many times, 'cause sometimes it is just- Yesterday was really good... sometimes it's just- Oh, wait. Yeah, yesterday...
• 4:34
  like too much and I'm just like, "I'm really just trying to chill the hell out," and it's not allowing me to. You know, kind of... I don't know. That's a personal thing and that's, uh- Yeah... that's what you do.
• 4:44
  It is also Monday. Uh, yeah. But... So this was a couple Mondays ago, and sure as shit, I was like, "Okay, I got a ticket give." And I was like, "Oh, shit." I'm like, "Oh, let me get ready for this."
• 4:56
  And it was, like, Thursday. And we did have alternate plans, but it was, uh, um, [laughs] I, I ran it by the war department and went, "Oh, yes." I'm like, I'm like, "Oh, I really wanna see this show." "Oh, go ahead.
• 5:12
  Try to win." "Okay." And there I am. There. And I won. I was caller three, seven, [laughs] and 12. [laughs] I was persistent. I think he just got the point and went like, "Oh, this guy wants them." Yeah.
• 5:25
  Well, I- And I did... I kinda slid in at the last moment on a kinda... Yeah. The war department decided they didn't wanna go to the show. Exactly.
• 5:32
  And it seemed like that was gonna be the case, 'cause even after me winning them, I played a bit of them for her and not, not- Not her thing... not her thing. And that's fine. It's legit... and whatever, so.
• 5:45
  They're heavy. They're heavy. Yeah. Oh, yes. Um, but it was nice. It- I d- I did a little pre, like, listening before we went to the show a couple days- Mm-hmm... 'cause I knew we were gonna go.
• 5:56
  And I'm like, kinda knew them but didn't really know them. And then I learned that they were doing this, their... I think, was it their first album? First album. Yeah.
• 6:03
  The, the 25th anniversary of their first album, so I kinda centered in on that one, which does have some elements of sleep and- Totally... some sorta stoner stuff going on. Yeah. A good drone.
• 6:13
  A very good drone, sludgy- Yeah... metal, just... I like that, yeah... but it definitely got- And it builds itself up as you- Right, and they got more-... and friends get in... raucous as it went. So it was, um,
• 6:25
  it w- it was the first sh- show I'd seen at the Vivarium. Same here. Same here. So. So I thought it was gonna be a good test. I, could've gone louder. Could've gone louder. It's a band that needs to be loud.
• 6:34
  No, it's- It's like- It's at least 105 at its peaks, maybe 108... it's like the shittiest, like- That's loud... okay, like at the Eagles Ballroom. Horrible, horrible acoustics. Horrible.
• 6:43
  Always will be, always- But probably better louder... always has and always been. One of my first shows there, Ministry. Me too. Yes. Boom. There, you fill up the air- Sounds good... with it. Yep. Yes. Flaming Lips too.
• 6:54
  They, they can fill that, that space up pretty well. They split that- But it could help that there's a billion people there too, though. Yes. That, uh, also works out.
• 7:03
  But, I, eh, just, eh, just selfishly wanted that a bit louder, and it remind me of the Sleep 420 show that I went to at Majeske, where I was able to stand outside, and I was doing a theory test of that at the, at the Vivarium, and that's how I knew that they weren't loud enough.
• 7:19
  Because I went outside, like directly outside the doors to have a smoke, and I could hear them, but if somebody else was talking near me, like, they kinda drowned it out. No, they have it, they have it kind of, like,
• 7:33
  double, you know, secret- Oh yeah... you know- It's a new place... air, air- It should... ducting so that, uh, it's not gonna affect the neighborhood. It's very residential too. It should be.
• 7:41
  Those guys are- It's very residential... it should be. But I mean- Yeah, definitely... again, selfishly, I wanted the sound bleed to come out to the- I feel you... sidewalk and have a smoke- I hear you. I hear you...
• 7:48
  and I don't have to go back in. Yeah. Although they did have a somewhat of a, they had more of a stage presence than, say, Sleep does, where he just, Matt Pike just kind of walks back and forth and...
• 7:59
  I mean, I love the music and whatever, but it, you're not really there for the visuals. Right on. Well, that was- But yeah, these guys, yeah, the double- That was that show... the double, double drum kits.
• 8:09
  Plus we, he, uh, after humming and hawing and, and schmeckety and schmacketying... Ah, yes. That's flirty. I floated- That's purr- Yeah. I mean, it, they had it like halfway out of the...
• 8:24
  Oh, so they're selling that at the show? Yeah. It's like, yeah. Point the quest at- It's a split. Uh, Melvins on one side doing, I think Twins of Evil or something like that. Right. Yeah.
• 8:33
  So it's sort of a- And then Boris-... a dual... on the other side. Oh. So a single on each one. Well- But it's like, you know-... we'll put it on the Gizmatron after the show. We- Would, would that set you back? 30.
• 8:44
  Oh, that's not bad. No. For a pretty, uh, it, it was just- Pretty obscure and gorgeous- Yeah... gorgeous piece of vinyl. And I got, and I got tickets free. Yeah. Yeah, it seems to make sense.
• 8:55
  And that, that, that, that, that, that, that became the justification- The re-... the rationalization. So we were, we were, we just got there, and I'm like, oh, Mike got us in. I'm gonna get some beers for us and stuff.
• 9:05
  And so, you know, I go up there, couple of cans of Hamm's, I believe they were maybe. And, uh, she gives me back, like, I don't know, it was like 12, uh, it, it was, like, out of a 20, it was like $16 back.
• 9:21
  Uh- Two bucks a- I don't know. No, it was-... two bucks a Hamm's... no, it was 12, no, wait, it was $12 back. And I thought, 'cause I told her two cans. So she gives me 12 bucks back, and, and then I get one can.
• 9:30
  I'm like, oh yeah, that's like eight bucks for a can, uh, you know, of just Hamm's beer. But I was like- Yeah... oh, I thought that was a pretty good deal. We get two for eight bucks. I was like, hmm.
• 9:38
  Every so often, yeah. Yeah. Oh, but it was eight bucks a can? Yes. Oh. And then I said I need another can, and then the rest of the 20 was gone, and- Right... but, uh- And then I couldn't go to the merch table.
• 9:49
  Um- Which was the only beer I had at that show. You were being a good boy- And for $8-... because you had-... for a Hamm's- For some-... that's all I'd have too... for s- for some reason, I was not in- Well...
• 9:58
  interested in... You gotta get on the- Oh. You gotta get on the- Yeah... you gotta get on the road and be- We had to go to-... lucid in the morning... we had to go to Hayward the next day for the- Oh, that-...
• 10:07
  for the six-hour-... I would definitely have something to do with it... six-hour drive to Hayward. Of course, stop at the Pine Cone on the way up. Don't wanna lose that Wisconsin curd. Nope.
• 10:16
  But, and we went through the Merrill, out, up to Merrill through the Thorogood Outlet Store. Didn't find anything. Huh. I mean, there was some good stuff in there. What the fuck, dude? What's going on? [laughs] Surprise.
• 10:29
  Oh, no. [laughs] Come on in. Wow. We have an extra set of headphones or...? Um, yeah, we could kind of make this happen. Give me a second here. You guys can- We're gonna pause for a moment- We're not pausing... listener.
• 10:40
  You guys, yeah. Ain't no pausing. Well, we'll lap, we'll, we'll, we'll lap. I'll fix this up. [laughs] Good to see you, brother. Well- I'm gonna go do pull-ups later. [laughs] How, how'd you sneak in here?
• 10:52
  So the, uh- He knows people. [laughs] I'm people who knows people. Use that friendly smile of yours and see how far it can get you. Need a Red Stripe? Oh, thanks. I'm tired. Oh, that's right.
• 11:04
  I forgot we need wine for this guy. Okay. Well, guys, came for the company. I always forget. [coughs] Oh. If you can sneak in here, uh- Yeah... cameras are active, so we're doing that. Wow. We're monkeying. How exciting.
• 11:22
  Right on. Right on. We need to have more of this happen. Random show ups, it's fucking great. [laughs] That's like the real surprise guest. It really is. Oh, you know what we need? Surprise.
• 11:32
  Badass pizza River West 24 shirt too. We need real, we need real, we need real surprise, uh, uh, microphones for said surprise guest. You guys, uh, talk amongst yourselves. You can talk about, uh- Hey...
• 11:43
  Oktoberfest maybe. Perhaps. Yeah, perhaps. It's, um- I'll grab you some, uh- That's this Saturday, right? I'll grab you some- Yes. And wait, do you know the, the way we're going? You'll find out when I get there. I know.
• 11:54
  I love that- I love that... part about Billy's rides. Yeah. I guess it's Buzbee's. Buzbee's? Is the meet, there's the meet and greet. That's the meet- Yep. Yep... the meet up, which is- And where's that, on KK?
• 12:03
  Heavy on the south part, but I can't remember. So way south. Yeah. Well, that's cool. Then we'll go through the cool, um, the Halloween decorations. Oh, I'm sure he'll build it. Bill loves that, man. Yeah.
• 12:15
  And I love Bill for that, so. I mean, I always try to kind of predict the route, but- Well, we could ask Be- Don't ask. Just- Not gonna say it... just experience Not gonna say, but crack Andy. God. Right.
• 12:27
  He's not even in our neck of the woods right now, I don't think. Isn't he? Is he up Truman? All right, Ian. You're back in, man. Great. He should be working. Little on the fly for the new guy. Is he in, is- Yeah.
• 12:42
  Am I working? You are working. Or am I playing? And playing. All right. If you enjoy what- That, that was like the quickest change we've ever done... if you enjoy what you're doing, it- Right. Come in...
• 12:51
  you'll never work a day in your life, you know? And here we are. Okay. Sweet. Well, welcome to the radio program. Well, now video, radio, audio, video, radio program. [laughs] However, this whole thing works with- Hmm...
• 13:04
  everybody at the table and the things with the deals and the- Stuff... all sorts of just things going on. So this is Ian. He's from- Bike Benefits. We just had this thing out here. We were just talking about it.
• 13:19
  Yeah, Bike Bennies. Let's go. So on your, on your Facebook profile, what's, what's the, what's the name you're using there? Oh, that's Ushuaia Style. What's Ush- What is it? Is it, does it have a story behind it?
• 13:31
  Well, well, nobody in their right mind would start their own Facebook page and so I didn't start my own Facebook page. Someone started it for me. You stole it? Yeah, they kind of- Run it back...
• 13:40
  they, uh- Take it back, man... I don't know. It, it happened in Argentina while I was in the town of Ushuaia. Oh, well.
• 13:47
  And maybe they needed, maybe at that point they couldn't have a Facebook page or something, so they were like, "Oh, why don't you start a Facebook page?" And, uh, then I kind of adopted it. Right on. And, uh, yeah.
• 14:02
  Yeah, right on. Well, you've been around, uh, you've been around Milwaukee more than m- m- Well, just this summer... well, yeah, but I mean, it's just sort of been an extended Milwaukee stay. Yeah.
• 14:11
  Yeah, it's called love. [laughs] Oh, that'll happen. That'll happen. Yeah. So you found a puppy dog then? Yeah. [laughs] Pretty much. Nah, it's not a puppy dog. Nah. It's a beautiful young lady.
• 14:20
  Yeah, I have a wonderful girlfriend who followed me around for a couple years. Um, and now- Yeah... it's time to support her. There you go. Sweet. And, uh, yeah, she has a great gardening business.
• 14:33
  She bikes out to her job. She does like a 20-mile round trip bike adventure to get to work, and then she works all day with- And he just set up some great pull-up bars across the street from my house. It's awesome.
• 14:47
  I'm gonna walk over there and just grab one. I just, as soon as I saw it, I'm like, "Oh, oh, those are pull-ups." As soon as I s- the way it was supported, I'm like, "I can to- I'm not that heavy."
• 14:55
  [laughs] "I can pull myself up on that." Yeah. Awesome. So that'll be my, uh, evening. I'm gonna walk across the street, do a couple pull-ups, turn around, walk back. [laughs] That sounds like a great routine. Right?
• 15:04
  Right? I mean- Who doesn't wanna walk across the street and do a set? Get... Right? Yeah, it'll, it'll be like Venice Beach across the street. Yeah, it could be like Venice B- Yeah, yeah, muscle beach. Ah, yeah.
• 15:14
  So is that where your donor site is? Well, we'll, we'll- Directly across the street from- No, that's where the garden is. Oh, copy that. Okay. Yeah. I know someone. Got that.
• 15:22
  And, uh, you know, those little free libraries had to start somewhere. [laughs] Is that what you're gonna start? You're gonna hang one of those off those po- those four-by-fours? I'll give you 10 if you want.
• 15:33
  No, I, I was referring more to the idea, you know? Oh. It's like, why aren't there pull-up bars in every neighborhood? Or why isn't there like a- That's a freaking great idea...
• 15:41
  why isn't there whatever we want in all of our neighborhoods? Remind me in the spring. I'll put some in front of my yard, too. Okay, good. [laughs] Yeah. We'll, we'll do more pull-up bars.
• 15:49
  You could do, you know- You do the slide... community pull-up bars. You could open the under- underneath of the porch and put some weight benches underneath the porch, too. Yeah.
• 15:57
  You keep, you keep hounding me about my porch, but- Well, you got a porch that's 28 feet off the f- off the ground...
• 16:02
  and if, you know, there's also, like, 300 hostas planted there that are about to get- And if you don't use it- They'll, they'll come back... you'll lose it. They'll come back. They will.
• 16:09
  I, uh, when I was living on Bartlett, [clears throat] uh, a humongous colony of wasps, uh, decided to make their home right underneath that little- Just makes the pushups more fun... holy crap. Oh, yeah. That's advanced.
• 16:24
  And there, and there was, like, that latticing with one hole, and so, like, when they would arrive or depart- [laughs] Shoot out of it...
• 16:30
  it looked like a fucking potato, like, like, total fucking machine gun flying out of, just bees. Wasps. Yeah. Which is- Frightening... terrifying to me. And I mean [laughs] just in... Oh, yeah.
• 16:43
  So- We're all afraid of something. Yeah. [laughs] Like bees. Right on. All right, Ian, uh, welcome to the show. Uh, I wanna, uh, just, uh, touch on bicycle benefits plus- Your hand [laughs]...
• 16:58
  plus, plus, so- I wanna touch on your hand... plus you had a new thing that I just saw, uh, car-free week. Yep. That I think it, I didn't know- Did it... it was you in the beginning.
• 17:07
  I'm like, "Ooh, this car-free week thing sounds like a good idea." [laughs] So, like, that's another new deal, huh? Yeah, so I guess, uh, I'm trying to do all the deals within my, uh, my, uh, my, you know...
• 17:22
  I, I guess I try to do everything in my power to, um, create programs and projects and events to kind of, uh, yeah, shift the culture. 'Cause I think our sh- our culture is a little bit off, maybe way off. Yep.
• 17:37
  The way we glorify automobile travel and cars, and so, uh, so I think it's a mix of, like, you know, putting the bicycle on a higher pedestal and kind of, you know, ripping the car a little bit. I like that.
• 17:52
  So, uh, yeah, car-free week.
• 17:53
  It's celebration of, uh, you know, getting people to attempt to try to go a week in, uh, someone else's shoes or someone else's saddle to see if they can do it, um, what the obstacles are, and I was...
• 18:06
  I had some great donations of chocolate bars and beer tokens and, uh, granola bars, so I, I made these little car free tokens and stashed them all around the city. Cool. Nice. Oh. At bus stops and bike racks- Yeah...
• 18:19
  and so people could, you know, could find a token, and then they...
• 18:22
  There was, like, my phone number there, so they'd text me, and then I'd text them a picture to the prize, and I'd say, "Which prize do you want, and where do you want it delivered?" Nice. Nice. Nice.
• 18:31
  Yeah, I mean, well- What a great idea... JK's been car free for at least four years. Four years. Four, four and a half-ish years. But then even before that, pretty-... car not- Bear it...
• 18:41
  non-plused So, I mean- Same with, same with Tony for the most part. Yeah. Right. I mean, there are- I like to use it... it's not like he won't drive a car, but- I wouldn't... I- I'm the lone slacker Necessarily...
• 18:50
  I don't do it as often. I drive- But I, I'm working on it... I drive as little as possible. That's my goal.
• 18:55
  So what I was kind of interested in with the car-free week thing is that at least for this initial one, it had... It was for a specific week. Mm-hmm.
• 19:04
  It wasn't like, "Well, just sign up for any old week and just do it during the year some time when it's works for you. Do a car-free week at your leisure." Uh-huh. Yeah.
• 19:14
  But I don't know, it seemed like let's make the commitment for, you know, maybe that week didn't work for you 'cause you gotta drive your kid- I'm-... 20 miles to daycare or something. Yeah. You know, I don't know.
• 19:22
  Absolutely. But yeah, I don't know. It, it just seemed like it's a great idea. I know I've... It's been discussed in the past at certain other times by other people, but I'm glad it's going and you got- Yeah...
• 19:35
  you seem to get these websites up and then- Oh, yeah. That's, that... You know, when I, when I first went to Argentina I, I was living in a hostel with this girl Natalia, and she was, uh...
• 19:47
  You know, I had done bike advocacy in the States, and I told her my big idea when I...
• 19:51
  I was like, "When I get back to the States, I'm gonna bike all around the country and start bike benefits in all these places, and they're all gonna offer discounts." And then she said, "I'll, I'll build the website."
• 20:03
  So she built our first, you know, bike benefits website. That was about, like, 15 to 18 years ago. Nice. And, uh, yeah, she really helps me make my, you know- You're still in contact with her? Oh, yeah. Awesome. We talk.
• 20:16
  You know, we're good friends, and we work together, and it's just- That's fantastic... it's just, uh, it- it's, it's wonderful. Is- I'm very lucky... is she Argentinian, or is she- Yes... oh, cool.
• 20:27
  So you're still communicating with her. Uh-huh. The Internet's a beautiful thing. Mm-hmm. She even comes out here every couple years. Nice.
• 20:34
  That'd be interesting to meet people from a far-flung space that's able to work with somebody so far away. I just think that's awesome. Yeah. Uh-huh. That is good collaboration. I guess Argentina is far-flung.
• 20:44
  I don't know [laughs]. Well, it's kind of a trek, but it's not that far away. Kinda far. Well, you could've just rolled on through. No one would've caught it until later. [laughs] I wasn't throwing a flag on the play.
• 20:55
  Yeah. Right on. [laughs] You know? Uh, so where were you just before you got here? We were... I didn't know you were coming. This is awesome. I didn't know I was coming either.
• 21:05
  Oh, so I, I came here from the, uh, Amtrak station. I had a, a good friend that, uh, he rode his bike from Portland, Oregon to Portland, Maine last summer- Nice... while I, while I was in Portland, Maine.
• 21:19
  And then he, you know, it was a, um... What are those bikes called? A Bullitt. Oh, man. He rode a Bullitt that far? Yeah.
• 21:28
  [laughs] And, uh, we weighed, we weighed his Bullitt when he got to Portland, Maine, and it weighed 161 pounds. Holy shit.
• 21:36
  And part of it is because he was carrying a typewriter that weighed, like, 15 pounds the whole way. Is it, like, an Underwood- For you... or was it a IBM Selectric? Yeah, an Underwood. An Underwood. I have an Underwood.
• 21:47
  Yeah. Everyone has some Underwoods. [laughs] I own an Underwood. It's a great typewriter. Yeah.
• 21:51
  So every day he'd, like, you know, he'd, you know, he'd rip out, like, 100, 120 miles a day, and then he'd post up in front, in a McDonald's or a coffee shop and start typing.
• 22:01
  Just da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da. Yeah. That's awesome. So he definitely- That's awesome... so he, so he, uh, yeah, he w- he would write every day, and he called his book, uh, what...
• 22:10
  his book he's working on 161, the weight of his bicycle- [laughs]... and stuff- Wow... fully loaded.
• 22:16
  So anyhow, when he got to Maine, he, uh, took a train out of there to surprise his brother on his birthday, leaving his Bullitt at the, in the shipping container at my property in Maine.
• 22:28
  So then his- Where, where the water tower is? Where the water tower is. The moon tower. Gotta be one of the coolest properties in the history of- Party by the moon tower, yeah. Yeah, let's go. Yeah.
• 22:39
  Live from the water tower. [laughs] Nice. But he, uh, so he was back in Portland, Oregon, and his, his, uh, most recent mission was, "Go get my bike." [laughs] So he, uh,
• 22:57
  so he... Let's see. He, he came out here on a... Yeah, he went, he went from Portland, Oregon back to, um, yeah, to Maine. He flew out there, and then he got his, got his bike, got it fixed up, went down to Boston.
• 23:14
  Rode his bike from Boston to here in Milwaukee, 10 days. Whoa. Yeah. Wow. Whoa, that's moving. Yeah. Yeah, that's- Like- That's impressive [laughs]... 1,300, 1,500 miles. That's a long way. Yeah, he's an athlete.
• 23:25
  That's a lot of miles in 10 days. [laughs] He's, like, an athlete that just, like, lives like a houseless person. It's pretty impressive. That's, that's hauling ass, man. Yeah.
• 23:35
  That's either a lot of hours in the saddle or you're moving fast. It's probably a little of both. Yeah. Yeah, maybe a little bit of both. You're right. And he didn't... Did he have the typewriter this time? Yes.
• 23:46
  He had the typewriter this time. That's hilarious. But, so then he spent the last two weeks hanging w- hanging out with us in Milwaukee. Oh. And, uh, he's like, "I wanna, you know, I'm gonna get on an Amtrak."
• 23:58
  And so it was like, how do I get a bicycle that's bigger than other bicycles on the Amtrak? So that's where I just came from, the Amtrak station, and the bi- the Bullitt got on there. Really? They took it? Uh-huh.
• 24:10
  They took it. Nice. But I was there, like, if it, if it- Well, it j- like, the, just the Hiawatha- In case it didn't... to get to... Or, or to get to- No, the Seattle, Washington. No shit. Holy shit they took that. Yeah.
• 24:21
  I had to take a buddy's- Hot damn. That's impressive... Xtracycle cargo- That did some... Ooh. You did some Jedi mind shit...
• 24:24
  who was gonna ride from Vancouver to Mexico, and we had a hell of a time boxing up that cargo bike. To be able to get on that Amtrak- Uh-huh... so that's cool.
• 24:36
  We rode it to the Amtrak and then dismantled it, [laughs] packed it in bike boxes, and he got it out there. I'm like, "I cannot believe they took that bike."
• 24:45
  [laughs] Yeah, we did the roll-on, but we didn't bring it into the station until it was boarding time. Oh, good call. Oh, yeah. He got the, he got the bike ticket. Surprise.
• 24:54
  Then it was like- [laughs] Then like- Well, I got this. Yeah, so then they said that- You said a bike is cool, dude. You did. You said it was cool. Yeah. Two wheels- That's awesome... a bicycle.
• 25:04
  And I had, I think, I think I helped him get on, 'cause I had like been sp- I'd spent a bunch of time in that Amtrak station. Mm-hmm. And I think I, I had- That's awesome... kind of befriended one of the guys there.
• 25:14
  Sure. But I never like p- provided him with that kind of challenge, like, "Okay- No, that's- That's serious, man... we got a big bike and these guys don't even like bikes." [laughs] Right. Right. [laughs] Wow.
• 25:26
  They prob- they probably- How did they fit that in there? At, at, at the Milwaukee, they probably don't like bikes because we like- Yeah, we-... ride through there- All the time...
• 25:33
  and go, go, go in through the outdoor and out through the indoor. Yeah, we've done that once or twice. It's like definitely sort of an urban, like, assault ride through where the trains leave. Uh-huh. Yeah.
• 25:44
  And you just like- Yeah... yeah, and, and the ushers or the attendants there, you know- They've been unhappy with us- Yeah... more than once. Yeah. Either doing like the, "Ah." And m- most- Eh...
• 25:55
  of the time it's just like, "I'm just gonna turn my head." Well, you're already, yeah, you're already gone by the time they notice you. It's like, "Just turn my head." It's like, and there's 20 of us.
• 26:01
  "Just turn your head." They're like, "All right." Yep. "Just walk on by." We come in through the private rail car section and go out through the, you know, the Second Street area. Yeah, the- By the way...
• 26:09
  Hartsluff knows area... that- That's a quality pen. [bell dings] Yeah, I've had that for like 45 years. I think I- Whoa. Pretty sure- Is that a Cross?... I may have gotten that- It's a Cross... it looks like a Cross...
• 26:20
  I may have gotten that when I graduated from high school as like a gift. Um, not only do I- Did you get it from-... did I get one-... Daley's Pen Shop?... from graduating from high school, but so did Clem.
• 26:29
  It may have been from Daley's Pen Shop. You may be correct, sir. Yeah. Awesome. Deep hole, baby. Top of the hill with the Cross pen up there. Yes. Cross pen, top of the hill. I, I have, I have gotten- Daley's Pen Shop...
• 26:38
  several refills for it over the years. [laughs] Yeah, of course, but it's 'cause it keeps working. It's a great pen. So these, uh, these are White Stripes? No, Red Stripes. Red Stripes. Red Stripes.
• 26:48
  They're not Jack White's beer. [sings tune] They're White Jack's beer. These are, uh, these are the last of the Shannon, uh, gifting when he came up and picked up his, uh- Thank you, Shannon... Bob Marley edition bike.
• 26:58
  Thank you, Shannon. Thank you. Thank you, Shannon. Thank you. I hope you're having fun down there at work right now, 'cause I'm pretty sure- Driving your forklift. Oh, no.
• 27:05
  He's got another half hour before he has to start, I believe. I hope his work feels like play. [laughs] He makes the same amount of money as I do with a hell of a lot less stress.
• 27:13
  You know, if you enjoy what you're doing- He drives a Tonka truck around in a warehouse... you'll never work a day in your life. Fuck you. You said that twice in the show. [laughs] Going for the hat trick.
• 27:23
  Yeah, you can bring it up again a little later. Just ham-handed, just shove it in right at the last second. So I, it, Red Stripe's a Jamaican beer. Yeah. It's kinda like Jamaican hams. It's a lager.
• 27:35
  It's plain and simple. Right. It's a Jamaican ham. It's a lager. It's plain and simple. It's fine. It's good beer. I like lagers. Speaking of clunker bikes and people that got new clunker bikes.
• 27:47
  Oh, someone got a clunker. Someone who has my inspiration. Wait, let me, let me help him out. Fuck you. Okay. Fuck you, you fucking fuck. Wait. Right. Does your bike say, "Fuck you," on it?
• 27:56
  It says, "Fuck you, you fucking fuck." Does- Yeah. Did you notice it? Does it really say that? Yeah, it does. Yes. Oh, I can't wait. That's, that was the selling point.
• 28:02
  It took, it took me till today- It wasn't just, "Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you." It was just, "Fuck you." It's just, "Fuck you, you fucking fuck"? Yeah. Oh, I gotta get this.
• 28:08
  That's, that is why I didn't even notice it until today when I was assembling the thing. I'm like, "Oh, that's what it says." Yeah. I was like, "Did you notice that?" And apparently he did. [laughs] Yes, terribly.
• 28:18
  [laughs] That makes it way cooler. It's in the other room. We'll go look at it later, but that's basically what it says over the whole thing, all over the place. And who are the, who's the, the- Rip...
• 28:28
  Rip and, uh- Rip and-... Rip and Nip? You're keeping that box, right? Sure. 'Cause that box is cool. I think you should cut out the part, 'cause he's got E.T.
• 28:36
  on the front of it and stuff, just like cut that out around the- Oh, yeah... around the, and then maybe- I haven't seen the box yet... and then maybe like this. You'll like this. It's cool.
• 28:45
  Kss, kss, kss, kss, kss, kind of make it so that it doesn't fail by putting some kind of like preservative on the cardboard. Oh, yeah. Or frame it. Or frame it. Like a good son, I actually showed my mother a picture.
• 28:56
  [laughs] My 89-year-old mother. [laughs] Did she like it? "Hey, Mom, check out my fuck you bike." [laughs] She's like, "Oh, Michael. Oh, oh, Michael. Oh, oh, no, no, no, no. Uh, uh, may- maybe you could paint over it."
• 29:09
  Okay. You're the youngest, right? I'm the only. The only. Oh, that's right. That- Really? So hasn't that occurred to you before? [laughs] That's right. How about that? I'm not, I'm not- You and fucking DiNardo...
• 29:17
  I'm not, I'm not the worst of the onlys. Yeah, you are. There, there are terrible onlys. Well, DiNardo's the worst. There are terrible onlys. Tony's an only for the most part, too. There are terrible onlys. No.
• 29:26
  Yeah, you're 15 years or whatever. But no, it's full disclosure. It's family I had at time, I remember. Well, yeah, but seven's an important number. My brother is seven years younger than me. Let's sing a song of seven.
• 29:37
  How many are- Oh, seven and we'll watch them fall... seven and we'll watch them fall. No, I, yeah. Shannon and Wayne had seven- My kids are seven years apart... and they're dead. Are they?
• 29:45
  My son, my son's 18 and my daughter's 25. Wait, let me do the math here. And the savoir faire. 14. Savoir faire is everywhere. No one in your universe will ever compare.
• 29:57
  I've got an 18-year-old and a four-year-old, so 14. On a hill. Wow. Together we'll- That's a gap... wobble. Uh, four-year-old's adopted. Space and time, oh, why? Ready for pull-ups. Can you turn him back in?
• 30:09
  And the eight ball seven will die. Trust me. Wait till you see him, dude. Do you see the, like, there's like the kids bar and the big bar? [laughs] Um, he can do the big bar. Oh, yeah? At four.
• 30:18
  Well, he's almost as heavy as Tony already. Yeah, he's pretty close. Can he jump like, uh- Yeah, like-... four feet? Yeah. He's fucking- Like Elon? [laughs] He can do- Does he have hops like Elon? [laughs] Mike.
• 30:29
  I haven't seen this yet. He has better hops than Elon. I haven't seen this man child. Ooh. He's a big kid. You haven't seen him naked across the street, dude? Who, E- You know. [laughs] Leon?
• 30:39
  Keeping an eye on you- Leon- Looking at naked people-... Leon Tusk... at the wrong house. Leon Tusk Well, uh, he's not good naked. But you just wait, he will be standing at...
• 30:46
  The cops stop- stopped one day 'cause he was standing in front of the house stark naked, like, looking at peo-... You know, he gets home and the first thing he does is his clothes are off.
• 30:54
  Somebody watches that first Superman movie once with the little- I get it... the little toy. So you can hear the helicopter. He's all like, "What's up?" Yeah. They, they literally, we were...
• 31:03
  Something got stolen in the neighborhood, and this lady, this lady cop's like, "You know you shouldn't be out here. We have predators." And I'm like, "Well, isn't that your job?"
• 31:11
  Like, my kid is four years old, and I don't know if you've had any four-year-olds, but they really like to be naked. Hmm. So he runs around the yard stark naked all the time. And I can't control it.
• 31:24
  He gets home from school, his clothes are off. Streaker. You know? But, yeah. So they were kinda telling you how to be a dad? I guess so. Kinda telling you how to raise your kid? Guess so.
• 31:36
  Kinda telling you how to get between the lines, man. I don't know. Maybe you should, you know- You gotta stay within the guardrails, brother... yeah, maybe you should, you know- Or something like that...
• 31:44
  maybe you should get back in the car and drive around a little bit. Yeah. I don't know. Might have to- With your kid. Put him to sleep in the backseat. Yeah, the old- He, that never worked for him either. Dammit.
• 31:52
  It does when you put the exhaust pipe in through the back window. Well, I bet. Yeah, that probably- Oh, my God. [laughs] You're fucking terrible. [laughs] Too bad you guys already have plans for this weekend.
• 32:02
  I'm gonna ride my bike up to Green Bay to put on a bike and brew tour. Just- Hmm. Oh, I was just gonna ask you what you're doing. But yeah, we got, uh, Biketoberfest. But what's, so what's that about?
• 32:12
  Well, it's something that I've, uh, w- that I'm doing actually in Milwaukee on November 2nd too. But I, uh, wanna put on these rides that go to breweries that offer bicycle benefits.
• 32:24
  Bicycle benefits being, like, a bike rider's discount. And, uh, use it a- uh, also as a way to raise money for the local bicycle nonprofits that are doing the work, so. Right on.
• 32:36
  So I'm doing one- You're taking the, well, Oakleaf to the Inner Urban to... Is that the route you're taking? Oh, no. I'm going, like, kinda like a lightning streak. I'm going up to Sheboygan- Yeah. No...
• 32:48
  and then I'm going, then I'm going west to Omro. Omro. Omro, sorry. Sorry, that's where you said that. Ohm. We call that the armpit of Wisconsin. Oh, yeah? Okay. Yeah. Okay. Who's leading? That's where I'll be going.
• 33:01
  I used, I used to live there. I'll be, I'll be smelling- I thought that was Kiel... the armpit up there. Okay. Thought that was Kiel. Uh, Kiel I've also been told. But oh, wow, you're taking a pretty crazy...
• 33:10
  Yeah, so you're doing a, a zigzag. Yeah, we got some, we got some Wolf River- Lightning strike... River apples to pick on the way. Oh, yeah. There you go. You're gonna love those. Yeah. Those are good. I'm excited.
• 33:19
  And that, that's my stom- I follow the lightning strike... you're, you're, you're cutting through my stomping grounds to get up north. I see. I'll be- It'd be fun. It'll be a good time.
• 33:27
  So it's also a Green Bay Packers game up there, so. Sorry. [laughs] Up dere? Up dere. Way up there. Well, you, you said it right. The Pa- the Pack is back. Up dere, hey. Is that right? Pack is back. Pack is back.
• 33:37
  You know, Davante Adams just ended up with his old, uh, teammate Allen Lazard and his old teammate Aaron Rodgers. I have no idea what you're talking about. Mm-hmm. It's the New York Jets, baby. Okay.
• 33:48
  You know what's gonna happen there? No. Nothing, because they're dysfunctional as a football team. It's the fucking Jets. [laughs] Tony, I'm right there with you. Yeah. Don't- It's all right... know about it.
• 33:56
  Hand egg, man. Hand egg. You got, you got all that time to ride up there to learn about football. Y- oh, yes. Or not. Or not. Just enjoy your lear- or your ride instead. [laughs] Enjoy your throw egg game. Hand egg.
• 34:08
  Hand egg. Hand egg game. [laughs] Throw hand egg game. So what's the deal with this, uh, Biketoberfest? I remember, I remember mumblings about it last time- Yeah... I was here. It's a, it's a, it's a Bill Rouleau ride.
• 34:20
  Uh, Billy from, uh, Rushmore Records and also- WMC... also DJ Foe Eyes and whatnot. But the best thing about Billy's rides are, A, there's usually a lot of people. Yeah. And it's gonna be beautiful out this weekend.
• 34:33
  Yeah, it's supposed to be. But he starts the ride at a place. Where are we going next, Bill? Where are we going? Where are we going? "Well, when we get there you'll know."
• 34:42
  So there, there's, there's- So he doesn't tell anyone... yeah, there's no route. You could be going across the street, but you might ride a big circuitous route to get there. Oh, nice.
• 34:50
  But if, but if he told you- He's awesome about this... "We're going, we're going to X place," and it's right there, everybody would just- It's just like on the other side of-... dive over there... this park...
• 34:57
  so it's always a, it's- Mm-hmm... it's like everybody wants to get... If there's 200 people on a ride, everybody wants to get to the place first, so they can get...
• 35:04
  Especially if you're going to a place that makes a mai tai or something silly like that. That takes an hour and a half to make one drink. You wanna get there m- more quickly, so everybody's in his pocket all the time.
• 35:13
  Or are you just getting goddamn passed? Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going? Where are you going? Or yeah, right? You could not be a dick and just order a beer.
• 35:20
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or whatever. Well, that's so fun. Or a glass of wine, 'cause they're pretty easy to pour too. I know. That's the ride that I like going on. Hmm. I don't like to know where I'm going.
• 35:28
  And I like to- That's the fun of it... follow someone to get there. Well, and- Yeah... especially for Halloween. [laughs] 'Cause he goes through neighborhoods that have great Halloween exhibits. Yeah. Things like that.
• 35:36
  Yeah, the baby- It's a blast. It is, it's one of the best rides of the year as far as I'm concerned, 'cause- And it, it worked well for Steel Is Real this year.
• 35:42
  I thought that that was a- I think it wor- it's a neat way to do a ride... it was certainly way better than a couple years ago when I put everybody on a timeout for pissing me off too much to not- [laughs]...
• 35:49
  do it the next year. Better pissing you off than pissing on you. Well, that's- Right? 'Tis true. 'Tis true... some- sometimes. [laughs] Oh, water sports. You never get your good due. Um. [laughs] Right on. That's cool.
• 36:05
  Your little koozie. Oh, I- "I like to pee outside." Yeah, this is a guy that- It's all about water sports, you see. It all comes back to water sports... he travels all over, mostly Iowa. Uh-huh.
• 36:12
  But he happened to be at Uptowner, and I started talking to him and, 'cause there was, like, 30 people there and he was on a break. "Hey, Mike," blah, blah, blah.
• 36:21
  And I started talking to him about friends in Iowa, and he knows some people I know there. I'm like, "Tell them that you were here and you were at this place, and how great it was."
• 36:29
  And then, you know, this was one of his merch things, so you know, it's just- Pretty good... to, to help the tour out, you buy a koozie. I think it's great.
• 36:35
  I- A lot like the Moccasin Bar koozie I got up in Hayward last week. [laughs]So the thing right there that you were fiddling with a bit- Uh-huh... this, so you play, you know, like,
• 36:45
  uh, shake of the day at a bar- Uh-huh... to try and win a drink. When you do win a drink, this is the thing, the token they give you.
• 36:54
  Instead of a wooden nickel or just get you the drink right away, this is the token- Oh, boy... so you can turn this in anytime up there for a drink. Oh, that's neat.
• 37:02
  I thought, "Well, that's a kind of a better souvenir than it is a drink." Yeah, it is. That's way cooler. For, for the dollar I spent on the shake of the day or whatever, but yeah, that's that. A good keychain.
• 37:12
  [laughs] Have you ever been to one of those like, uh, cafes where like in a, you know, like a big city where they have a problem with people like taking the bathroom key with them, so they'll like hand you like a two-by-four- Yeah, yeah.
• 37:24
  Yeah, yeah... to get in the bathroom? Or a toilet seat. Yeah. Dildo. It's like I really- Yeah... enjoy that gesture. Try to get the dildo- The dildo... out the door. Yeah. [laughs] Right.
• 37:31
  All you have to do is stick it in your butt, and you can get out. [laughs] Just saying. [laughs] Well, this got dark fast. I mean- [laughs] I know. It writes itself. All right then. There's more of us.
• 37:44
  The momentum goes faster. Right. Yeah. Well, uh, Ian, awesome of you to show up. You want anything else you wanna leave us with before we make like a banana and get the hell out of here? Any, any words of wisdom?
• 37:56
  Words of wisdom. Any, besides the... So you got the thing in Green Bay, and you said November 2nd there's one happening here somewhere? Yep. Yeah, I got... It's a Facebook event. I've been invited. I haven't.
• 38:06
  No, you should- Well, maybe I have. That was intentional. No, you shouldn't be. Yeah. Right? We, we figured we were all right. Yeah, it's a non-Greg event. Okay. I'm not gonna be here anyway, so fuck you guys.
• 38:16
  Well, fuck him then. [laughs] We're gonna have so much fun. Girls, girls, girls. In all the pictures, you're gonna be, "I wish Greg was here." Yeah, but do- Not... but do you? Not. Greg. Not. I'll find it.
• 38:28
  Where you gonna be? I'll find you. Where the fuck are you gonna be? At your event. You know. So he's lying. [laughs] God damn it. He lies all the time. It's called misinformation. It's called surprise guest.
• 38:39
  Misinformation. Mis- disinformation. I'm gonna dis you with my information. [laughs] I don't have my keys, so I can't jingle them. No. So what else? That's about it. [bell dings] Yeah. That's not a key.
• 38:50
  Bike and Brew Tour on the November 2nd. I'm working on a book called The Land of Lost Bikes right now. Nice. And, uh, Bike Bennies is going strong.
• 39:00
  And- Is The Land of Lost Bikes about people that lose bikes by theft, or is it by just- Yeah, that's kinda how it starts. Okay. It's like a rhymey book. Okay. It starts off, uh, "I couldn't believe it when I walked off.
• 39:13
  The last stare, my bike which was locked was no longer there. I rode it last night and each day before. Now it was gone. My bike was no more.
• 39:21
  So I said to myself, it was stolen by crooks who snatched up my bike for its shiny good looks. They took it apart, surely scrapped it for metal. Probably sold off the frame, each component and pedal." Wow.
• 39:34
  That's how it starts. That's freaking great. It is awesome. I like it. Right on. I'm gonna have that. That's Dr. Seussian. Yes. Well- All right. You let me know when that comes out. I will. I'm buying. Yeah. Great.
• 39:45
  Sounds great. I mean, you got... Y- now you have some mutes to read it to. I'm gonna read it myself. Early self-help. A mute. [laughs] All right, everybody. We did it again.
• 39:54
  I'm not sure how, but thanks to Ian for showing up- Yeah... and making the show- I think, I think we know how... way better than w- Thanks for being on...
• 39:59
  may- way better than when it started out and it was just, uh- Talking trash... Jake and Tony and I, so. Womp, womp, womp. Yeah. Well, hey. Womp, womp, womp. Well, thanks for having me.
• 40:07
  Let us know, let us know next time you wanna show up. We'll, we'll make it a little- Well, I always have a spot for you... we won't, we won't have to do all the juxtaposing and whatnot. It'll be all more bitching.
• 40:17
  Bitching Camaro, bitching Camaro. All right. Did you see the new, the new metallic-y WMSC logos? Those are nice. Oh, those are drippy. [laughs] [rock music] In the garage.
• 40:34
  [rock music]