Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why do narcissists want you back
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on, beautiful people?
- 0:02Today we're going to be talking about why would a narcissist
- 0:06want you back in the 1st place after the relationship ends?
- 0:09Like what? What reason could be behind them
- 0:11wanting to be back with you? If you're new here, my name is
- 0:14Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:15narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
- 0:17Narcissist Code. So welcome back, welcome back,
- 0:37welcome back folks. Yes, yes, yes.
- 0:38That's the question of the day, isn't the question of the hour.
- 0:40The question of the moment is why on earth would a narcissist
- 0:45want you back in the 1st place? Y'all, this episode is going to
- 0:50be, it's going to get a little, it's going to get a little
- 0:51slick, going to get a little slippery and whatnot.
- 0:54It, it just is y'all, because y'all know, it could be a few
- 0:57reasons why narcissists would want you back.
- 1:00So the first reason, and this is not going to be any specific
- 1:04number of reasons, y'all, but the first reason is because, and
- 1:08can a narcissist miss you? Yes, some narcissistic people
- 1:11absolutely actually do miss you. They would Now what they miss
- 1:15about you, it's working. It kind of slippery, right?
- 1:18What, what, what they actually miss about you can get a little
- 1:21slippery. It can take you down a little, a
- 1:24little rabbit hole and whatnot. But some narcissists can
- 1:27absolute absolutely miss you, the person, miss being in a
- 1:33relationship with you and whatnot.
- 1:35Now I keep feeling like I keep having to reiterate this and say
- 1:39this again. Just because they miss you does
- 1:43not mean that they will treat you better.
- 1:47Did y'all heard that just because a narcissist misses you,
- 1:50the possibility exists that they miss you does not guarantee that
- 1:54they will treat you any better. If anything, a lot of times they
- 1:57just guarantee that they will treat you worse.
- 1:59Like my yesterday's video. Will you take a narcissist back?
- 2:01It gets worse. A lot of times it guarantees
- 2:04that they will treat you worse because hey, you took me back,
- 2:07right? You signed up for this, right?
- 2:10And that's the absolute mindset that a lot of narcissists have.
- 2:13You take me back. You're signing up for whatever
- 2:16abusive, toxic behaviours come along with me.
- 2:19You know what you're getting yourself into, right?
- 2:21You know what you're getting yourself into.
- 2:23You know what you you know what you're you're into, then that's
- 2:26how it goes right there. That's the process.
- 2:28That's the mindset. That's the mentality of a lot of
- 2:31narcissists, right? Yeah.
- 2:33Some of them absolutely do miss you.
- 2:35Now, again, what they miss about you is is up for it.
- 2:38Like they could miss the narcissistic supply that they
- 2:40get from you, right? They could miss that.
- 2:43They could be. They could miss how they used to
- 2:45get away with things that you could miss how they forget
- 2:48they've been forgiven for unforgivable things.
- 2:50They could miss how they made you look silly in front of your
- 2:54friends and family for taking them back in the 1st place.
- 2:56They could absolutely miss all those bad things.
- 2:59Missing you does not mean that they miss the good things.
- 3:02It could be. It could mean they miss the
- 3:03power. They miss the control, they
- 3:05could miss that type of stuff, that type of stuff.
- 3:07So don't go Lee the self war narcissist said narcissist can
- 3:10miss you. So I should take my ex back.
- 3:12No, the hell Lee did not say that.
- 3:14Don't put that on me. Do not put that on me.
- 3:17That's on you. Yeah.
- 3:18You know, like Lee told me. No Lee.
- 3:21No, Lee, no, Lee didn't. Lee said this.
- 3:25No, no, the hell Lee didn't. Lee did not say that.
- 3:29Lee said you have to make your own decisions, your own choices
- 3:32on how you want to live your life and what you want your life
- 3:34to be. So that's up to you.
- 3:36That falls into your, that falls onto you of what comes next for
- 3:39you in your life, right? That's the mindset, that's the
- 3:42mentality. So they might absolutely miss
- 3:45you. They could miss something about
- 3:47you. And that's one of the reasons
- 3:48why they want you back. Another reason why they want you
- 3:52back could be that they want to hurt you.
- 3:58They're angry as hell, right? They're furious.
- 4:02They're pissed off that you got away, right?
- 4:05They're just, they're, they just cannot they, they cannot just
- 4:10believe the fact that you got away.
- 4:12They can't believe the fact that you exposed them.
- 4:14They can't believe whatever it is, right?
- 4:17So now they're furious and now they absolutely want to hurt or
- 4:23harm you in some way, shape or form.
- 4:26They want to put you through it. They want to take you through
- 4:28the Rinkers, right? They want to do this type of
- 4:30stuff to you and this is the mentality or the mindset that a
- 4:34lot of narcissists possess right here.
- 4:36Y'all, they absolutely want to do things to you.
- 4:40They want to harm you. They're furious.
- 4:42They want to hurt you. They want to put you through the
- 4:45ringer. They want to punish you.
- 4:47They want if you made them look bad or they feel like you made
- 4:49them look bad, they want to make you look worse.
- 4:53They want their lick back. Even if you, if you, if you
- 4:55broke up with them for a very valid reason to you, they want
- 5:00their damn lick back. They can't believe that you
- 5:03embarrassed them, that you got away.
- 5:05They want to harm you. Some of them.
- 5:08Yeah, some of them. Even if they are saying nice
- 5:11things to you, it doesn't mean that they will be, they will be
- 5:14nice to you. Let me reiterate, just because
- 5:17they're saying nice things to you doesn't mean that they will
- 5:21do nice things to you. They want to hurt you.
- 5:24They want to harm you. That's another reason why we go
- 5:27back to yesterday's video that they will absolutely hurt you
- 5:32and harm you. They will, they will, they will
- 5:33treat you worse when they get back into a relationship with
- 5:35you. They're angry as hell.
- 5:37They want their vengeance. Vengeance is mine.
- 5:41They want it. They want their, they want their
- 5:43narcissistic pound of flesh, so to speak, and they're going to
- 5:47get it in some way, shape or form.
- 5:50So if you take them back or they y'all in the back in the
- 5:53relationship together, this is where their mind is at.
- 5:55They want some vengeance, right? They want to hurt you.
- 5:59Like I said, just because they want you back, it does not mean
- 6:03it's under good pretenses. Don't let them try to convince
- 6:06you otherwise. Just because they take you back
- 6:09does not mean that it's under any type of good pretenses.
- 6:12Again, it could be. It could just mean that they're
- 6:15mad as hell at you. It could be mean.
- 6:18It could mean that they're furious with you and want to do
- 6:21harm to you. It could absolutely mean all of
- 6:24that stuff right there. So just because they, again,
- 6:27just because they want you back does not mean that they will
- 6:30treat you better. I keep feeling I have to
- 6:32reiterate this. You know what I mean?
- 6:35I keep feeling I have to say it again and again and again
- 6:37because people will interpret things in a way that makes them
- 6:40feel good sometimes. And I don't want y'all to
- 6:41interpret it well. They miss me and they want me
- 6:43back because for all good things, all good things, this is
- 6:44not Olaf from Frozen. All good things, all good
- 6:46things, no bad things, bad things will be happening to you
- 6:50because they want to hurt you. They want to harm you.
- 6:53That's one of the main reasons that they want you back.
- 6:55It's not because they love or missing you.
- 6:56Sometimes they want to put inflict pain on you.
- 7:00The sadistic, toxic, narcissistic people want to see
- 7:04you and hurt want to like sometimes they want to match
- 7:06your energy. Like if you broke up with them,
- 7:08they just want to break up with you, right?
- 7:12That could be another reason right there.
- 7:14Just because you broke like they could want to just break up with
- 7:17you. I know this kind of falls under
- 7:18the same umbrella but of hurting you, but you broke up with them.
- 7:22They just want to break up with you.
- 7:24They want to be they they want to clear their conscience of be
- 7:26getting their feelings hurt or whatever.
- 7:27So hey, I didn't break she she didn't break up with me.
- 7:30I broke up with her. Ha ha ha.
- 7:32That's how a lot of them, that's how a lot of the mindsets go
- 7:34right there. You didn't bring up with me.
- 7:36I burgled with you first. Rapper, rapper, rapper, blah
- 7:38blah blah, boom, boom, BBB. That's what you have to compete
- 7:41with sometimes right there, because a lot of them are
- 7:44absolutely angry and furious, furious, furious, furious, which
- 7:49is that you did this and you said that you broke up with
- 7:51them. So they want to hurt your back.
- 7:53That could be the third reason right there, y'all.
- 7:54But I said again, they can follow the umbrella of the first
- 7:59first reason, right? But that's the mindset, that's
- 8:02the mentality of it all right there.
- 8:05But that's how narcissistic people's minds are going to
- 8:07continue to work. They are going to inflict that
- 8:10pain and effort and hurt. And it just that, that that
- 8:13vitriol towards you because you broke up with them, they want to
- 8:16break up with you. So again, they can be reason 2B
- 8:19or it can be reason 3 for you right there.
- 8:22Another reason y'all, that they want you back is because they
- 8:27again, they think you belong to them ownership.
- 8:34They own you, they control you. Nobody else can do this.
- 8:38They want to have this power and this strength over you.
- 8:41So they want to inflict, they want you back because they feel
- 8:45like they absolutely own you, right?
- 8:50You belong to me. You're, you are my property,
- 8:52right? So that's where the mind goes
- 8:55and whatnot. That's literally how it goes.
- 8:58Like I think you belong to me and because I think you belong
- 9:02to me, I don't want you to be with anybody else.
- 9:06Even if I don't want, even if I don't really want you, I want
- 9:10you back in my orbit. So I feel like I have power and
- 9:14control over you. I own you.
- 9:18You are my property. So and, and, and I will treat
- 9:22you as such. And this is what you run run
- 9:24into a lot with toxic narcissistic people.
- 9:27Even though they're not together, they feel like you
- 9:30belong to them, right? Even though you're not together,
- 9:34they feel like this is how the relationship is going to go.
- 9:37Even though you're not together, this is where it's going to keep
- 9:40moving to like, I own you. And this is not me saying I owe
- 9:44you. I'm just, I'm speaking from the
- 9:45perspective of a narcissistic job.
- 9:46I don't own you. I don't even know you and I
- 9:49wouldn't owe you anyway if I didn't know you.
- 9:51But this is just speaking to the mindset.
- 9:54I, you belong to me. You cannot get away from me.
- 9:58And that's how they get out. That's how they're going to
- 10:00continuously try to treat you because they feel this way, they
- 10:04actually feel like you are my property.
- 10:08You belong to me, E, And as long as you're belonging to me, I'm
- 10:12going to keep treating you as such.
- 10:14Even if I have somebody else, even if I'm in a relationship
- 10:17with somebody else, you are still belong to me.
- 10:22And that's why like they don't. That's why even if they've moved
- 10:24on to someone else, why they will keep, they won't leave you
- 10:27alone. They'll keep messing with you.
- 10:28They'll keep picking on your new relationships, they'll keep
- 10:31trying to drive new partners away because they have this
- 10:34ownership contingent within their minds that says, Hey,
- 10:36look, as long as we got a kid together, we had a business
- 10:39together. We we slept together one time.
- 10:41It doesn't have to be a long y'all.
- 10:42It doesn't even have to be a long term relationship.
- 10:45And y'all, the crazy thing about it is it doesn't even have to be
- 10:47a real relationship. Some people and I just, this is
- 10:51the, the darker side of toxic relationship, toxic narcissistic
- 10:54people, that some people think that because they laid eyes on
- 10:58you, that they own you, that you belong to them.
- 11:02This is the mindset of some narcissistic people.
- 11:05Like I, I saw you across the, the, the, we made eye contact.
- 11:08So you belong to me. That's the darker side, the more
- 11:12psychopathic side or sociopathic side of narcissistic narcissism.
- 11:16Like they, they really look at you like you're a piece of
- 11:18property and nobody else can have you.
- 11:21Even though we're done, the relationship is over and I don't
- 11:23even want to be with you no more.
- 11:24I don't want anybody else to have you because you want to
- 11:27belong to me and now you still belong to me.
- 11:29So you have to watch out for toxic narcissist to people like
- 11:32that y'all. But before we go y'all, make
- 11:34sure you check out my support groups and whatnot because if
- 11:36you haven't joined a support group, you're missing.
- 11:39Support groups can help you heal faster than damn near anything
- 11:42y'all. So check out my support group,
- 11:43the mental healers courses.mentalhealingness.net.
- 11:48Check it out. Subscribe to this channel y'all.
- 11:50We creeping up on 500K. We might get there pretty soon
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- 11:57I would not change my name to emotional Wellness.
- 11:58If you if you go on Facebook, do not buy anything from there.
- 12:02Whoever it is that has my page right now, I'm in the process of
- 12:04getting my Facebook page back. I would not change my name to
- 12:07emotional Wellness. Anyway y'all be safe, take care
- 12:13of yourself. What the hell is that please?
- 12:14Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
- 12:16I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
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- 12:24to watch another video or to browse through another playlist.
- 12:26There's also a link on the screen to check out my courses
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- 12:31you've been through. Thank you so much again.
- 12:33I will see you in the next video.
- 12:34Peace.