Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / Reflecting, Not Rehashing with Trista and Bob

Transcript

Reflecting, Not Rehashing with Trista and Bob · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the almost famous podcast with iHeartRadio.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Hey everybody, it's the almost famous OG's podcast.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Bob and Trista back together again.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: It's a about time after our spectacular annual almost famous
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: Trista's Pickleball Classic. Let's just say this, Trista, the last
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: time I played pickleball was when I came in second
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: place to you last year, and this year, I gotta
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: be with you. I think the guys did a pretty
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: dog on a good job. Okay, I'm gonna say that
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: you and Canyon partnered up versus myself and your husband.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Well, but let's back up a little bit, because we
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: did play, Ryan and I played both. It played you guys,
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: you and Jess, Yes twice right, and then yes, you
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: were like, let's switch it up girls against the guys.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Yes, and that was the championship round. Yes.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: And at that point I was told what a kitchen was.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: I knew how to serve, when I should let it
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: bounce or not, and Ryan and I forced a quadruple
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: over time.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: You sure did. Mind you for everyone listening. If you've
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: seen my post and canyons posts with the hashtags that
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: are included in the middle of the game, you guys,
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: everyone listening, Bob. They had a great play, there was
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: a great point, and all of a sudden, Bob yells man.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I was a little fired up. Yes, like a little
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: fired up. And so we finished the game and we
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: pretty sure, yeah, like so many other avenues in my life.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: So yes, we finished the game and we said, yeah, yeah,
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: that is all true. It was fun, though, so much fun,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: that is all true.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: My second year in a row with a first place
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: loser's trophy, and you know, thankfully my wife this year
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: didn't have to bring that same trophy home.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: She brought home a championship trophy. So that's right, that's
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: all right.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: And then Grayson proceeded to steal her crown and yes, take.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: It off, right, Blake did, Blake did, Yes, Blake did.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I thought that Blake was the one. Oh
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: that's right. She was with Blake.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, no, no, Grayson, Actually I think I
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: may well, I don't think I am confident that I
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: accidentally grabbed Ryan's trophy as well, because when I got home,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: I had two trophies and one in my suitcase and
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: one in my carry on. Oh yes, Ryan trophy, like me,
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: doesn't really want it, you know.
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm going to be putting mine right up there
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: next to my trophy from last year and my crown,
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: and then we're just going to continue to grow so
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: that you know, it's just me wanting to feel like
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: capable next to my husband who has all of these
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: like helmets.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Downstairs and jerseys. You know, it's how I contribute to
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: the accomplish. There we go, there you go. You know
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I will say this, you ladies were good.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie to you, but I do think
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: that if Ryan and I practice a little more in
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: the off season next year, there may be any champion.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: That's All'm gonna say. I think you're right. I think
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: you're let's say it, I'm going to be the champion.
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: But you know, you guys kill it, so are you Guys?
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: When you want to like hit it right and when
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: you want to like actually listen to the rules and
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: remember them, well.
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: There's that part.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the remembering part was the one I was shutting with.
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: I know, listen, I play in a fickleball league on
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: Thursdays and Fridays. Thursdays is normal scoring just like how
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: we played and then or sorry and son days is
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: an MILP League, which is basically how the pros play,
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: and it's like it's called rally scoring, and it's completely
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: different than normal scoring. And I have to tell you
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: I felt I was like, Okay, this is what like
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: Bob was probably feeling. Because when you don't know the
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: rules or the score, how to do this score, it's
• 4:23
  Speaker 3: so confusing. And I was spending so much brain power,
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: like actually trying to understand the rules and the scoring,
• 4:32
  Speaker 3: that I felt like my body wasn't working, like it
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: literally wouldn't work because so much was going toward my brain.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you down. Yeah, yeah, Well, I will say this,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: it was an awesome trip. Once again. I love this trip.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Like we said our second annual, and lots of great
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: fun times we had. We did a lot of fun
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: things together and had a lot of great moments and
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: a lot of great pods. But one of the one
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: of the situations that occurred at this event was, you know,
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: we we started off with some good intentions on trying
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: to make the world a better place. Right it was
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: basically like, let's get let's get some people who we
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: know might have had some conflict in the past. Let's
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: get him in a room, Let's let him talk. And
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: you know, basically what we did was we got you,
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: Joan and Courtney Robertson into her room together and basically said, Okay, guys,
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: you know, here's the deal. You know, super producer to
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: the stars. You know, she kind of handled that that
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: leg work there and made sure that we were, you know,
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: I think having a good conversation.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: How there's great at that. She's great at navigating that stuff.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: And you guys had a chance to kind of sit
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: down and talk out some issues that you've had for
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: over a decade with each other and let's talk about that. So,
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: you know, going into that, how were you feeling? I mean,
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: were you did you think about what you wanted to
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: say to her? I mean, and can you give us
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: a little bit of a you know, kind of a
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: a brief overview. I mean, I know that the pod
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: just aired, so a lot of our fans are already
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: probably up to speed on it.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: But you know, what were your thoughts going into that
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: whole thing? Well?
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: I don't know that I'm alone in feeling this way,
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: but I don't like conflict. I don't think a lot
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: of people necessarily do like conflict, right, And I mean,
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: I'm shaking now, and I was shaky then. My stomach's
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: erec you know, I was we were sitting there and
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: my fingers were getting tingly, which I've had panic attacks
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: in the past a couple and that's typically what has
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: happened to me in the past. So definitely, conflict and
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: my body were not like vibing, like you know. I
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: was nervous about it because it has been something that
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: I thought was like not necessarily squashed. But I thought,
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: we're living in the present. That's what I was trying.
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: That's what I've been, you know, that's what we do.
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: We you live your daily lives, like hopefully, if you
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: are dealing with any kind of conflict, you try not
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: to think about it in daily life. So so I
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: was nervous because I don't I don't like conflict, and
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: it's like typically a fun weekend and I wanted to
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: focus on the fun and be in the present and
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: like it was a kind of a getaway for me
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: and Ryan, and I wanted to focus on him and
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: the quality time that I was being afforded the opportunity
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: because right now, you know, our lives are a little
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: crazy with Max leaving for college.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Very emotional.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: Blakesley starting her senior year and having to apply, you know,
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: to schools, and it's just it's a it's a pretty
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: emotional time.
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: So to be able to get that chance to get get.
• 7:58
  Speaker 3: Away with Ryan was was very welcome. It It's only
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: it's a short trip, but it's just it was something
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: that we were looking forward to.
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and sometimes that's the easiest thing, right, Like on
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: a shorter trip, it's like, Okay, we got a concentrated
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: amount of time, let's just make it great. And you know,
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, and everybody's got their stuff, right, I mean,
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: and you know, it's it's a very public situation that
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Courtney's going through, which is devastating and horrible, and I
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: think everyone was trying to be really sensitive to that.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: But like, would would you say that you were you were?
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Did you feel like you were because I listened to
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: the pod and I and I heard this part, But did.
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: You feel like you were trying to avoid crossing paths
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: with her.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Or did you feel like that was something that was
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: like part of it or were you just where was
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: your head? Because obviously you knew that it was like
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: in the past, but you didn't know where things were
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: standing at that point, So were you like trying to
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: avoid having a moment like that.
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: I'm not avoid it, you know. So I gave her
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: a big hug when she got there, and she said,
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: you know, I know we've had we've had issues in
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: the past, and I'd love to just get like put
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: that aside because I'm going through a lot. And I
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: totally get that. As you heard on the podcast, I
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: told her that, I, like, face to face, that I
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: was so sorry for what she's going through and I
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: still I still am so sorry. I told her I
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. What is I
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: don't know all the details, but what she said was
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: that he's been cheating on her for eight years, like
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: their entire marriage, and so with three children, likes as
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: a mom who I know, she loves her kids, and
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: she obviously loved her husband.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: It's really really difficult.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: So my heart goes out to her, and I gave
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: her a big hug, and I said, of course, like
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: you know, and then you know, as I said also
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: in the podcast, it wasn't my idea. It wasn't something
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: that I was wanting to do.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: No, in fact, I mean I mean, we knew we
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: knew ahead of time, or you had said, you know,
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: you knew a couple of days beforehand who was coming
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: and and everything like that.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: But I actually didn't think you were going to do
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: it at all.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, you know, we were talking that day on
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: the boat, and we weren't talking specifically about this, but
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: it was kind of like, you know, yeah, I don't
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: think this is going to happen. We don't really you know,
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: need this to happen. I mean, I think primarily it
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: was one of those things too. You you know, you
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: go into it and you're like, you probably have some
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: mindset of what you want to address, but I'm sure
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: you're yeah.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: Well, and honestly to say that just because I feel
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: like I'll forget, sorry to interrupt, but I I did
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: because I have, as I've said like a million times
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: on this podcast, my memory is horrible, horrible, like and
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: so this goes back to twenty fourteen, and so I
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: listened to the podcast that that she had been on.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I reread the.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Emails that I sent to her and that she sent
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: back to me, just so I knew, like, just so
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: I remembered, because you know, it has been over twelve years.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, twelve years.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so you know, we've both lived a lot of
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: life since then. And because of my memory, I was like,
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: I just want to I just want to remember, you know.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: The familiarize yourself.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly right. So yes, I did listen and in
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: a way of preparing, but just as a way to
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: you know, put myself back in it because we were
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: going to be talking about it.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: Sure, well, I will say this the first part of
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: the conversation, you know.
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Well, and let me say this too.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: One of the things that is is unfortunate about about
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: this particular interview or this particular meetup was that we
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: were running into some technical issues. So there was a
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: lot of stuff that you weren't hearing or you weren't
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: sure who was saying or whatever. And you know, I
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: was there, not in the room, but just outside the
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: room for the first you know, fifteen minutes or so,
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: and and everything seemed to be going well, and you know,
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: I left, and then afterwards, you know, heard that maybe
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: it didn't go so well. And and when I listened
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: back to it to kind of get an idea as
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: to you know, what was what was transpiring, it was
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: kind of difficult a couple different times, and it was
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: unfortunate cause I feel like there was probably some moments
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: in there where, you know, some real ground could have
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: been made up, and you know, who knows, maybe this
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: would be maybe this would be like a a one
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: of two, right, Like, maybe there's another conversation down the
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: road someday when things aren't as combustible for her and
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: for you know, where her life is right now. I
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: can't imagine that had to be easy for her, And
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: I know it wasn't easy for you because you're a
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: very empathetic person and I'm sure to even have to
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: sit in that stuff, it wasn't comfortable, you know, And
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: like you said, you don't like conflict anyway, so to
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: be in that moment. But was there anything in that
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: conversation listening back to it that you were like, Man,
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: you know what, I wish I would have said this,
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: or I wish I would have remembered to say this,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: because I wanted her to know that. You know, were
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: there any of those moments that you felt like when
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: you listened back to it, you were just caught up
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: emotionally and maybe you didn't get there when you wanted
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: to or you know anything like that.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I mean when you're in that kind of situation,
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: like a conflict resolution, just emotions are really high.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: Right. And I also have.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: Said a million times on this podcast, I feel like
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: as I get older, like just finding my words being menopausal,
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Like there are a lot of times when I don't
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: remember my grandmother's or you know whatever. So I feel
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: like just finding my words is a struggle these days,
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: just just with age.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: You know. Unfortunately.
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: And yeah, there were definitely things that afterwards that I
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: felt like, oh gosh, why didn't I do that or
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: why didn't I say that. The biggest thing is that,
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: you know, Heather asked me to tell us what happened,
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: or tell you guys what happened, And so I wanted
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: to start from the beginning, and I went back to
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: when she wrote her book and the podcast that I had.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Heard about that was the one where you would called
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: the salty word.
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, and other things. There were other things that
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: were said on there that I didn't get to.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: But it wasn't Courtney who said that she did not
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: say that word.
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: No, she did not, and I and she said I
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: didn't say that, and I said, no, I know you
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: didn't say that. The host said that, I said that
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: she had started laughing, and then she said she has
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: a nervous laugh so.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: You know whatever.
• 15:06
  Speaker 3: That all of that was said, right, But what I
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: wanted to, like listening back or actually just thinking about
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: what had been said, I really just wish when Heather
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: gave me the floor and said, tell us what happened,
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: I wish I would have started with the fact that
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: I acknowledged that, as I did when I sent her
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: the email, the Olive Branch email, I acknowledge I acknowledged
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: in the past, and I want to acknowledge again that
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: I hurt her. Like that's how I wish that I
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: had started that part of the podcast, Like when I
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: was given the floor, I wish I would have just said,
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: Again for hurting you.
• 16:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, And.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: Because I know I did, and I know how it
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: feels to be hurt, and I feel like that's part
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: of why I went back to the beginning and why
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: I brought up the other podcasts about you know, her
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: saying that I would go to the opening of an
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: envelope and other things that were said like that I
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: have an ego about me, and and that I treated
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: my producer, our old producer, Hannah poorly, and you know
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: these things that that hurt me. I wanted my hurt
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: to be heard, and I wish I would have just
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: put that aside and started with love. You know. Yeah,
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: I think especially with what she's going through, Like I,
• 17:07
  Speaker 3: my marriage is not perfect by any means. People know
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: that if you listen to this podcast, and I know
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: how hard it is to get through the difficult times
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: in marriage, but it seems like there have been some
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: pretty hard times because it's been happening all her entire marriage.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: So my heart just truly hurts for her being someone
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: who has been cheated on in the past. I know
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: how bad that is, but I don't know how bad
• 17:38
  Speaker 3: it is for her because it was her entire marriage
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: and she has children with him, you know, so it's
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: a whole other level of hurt. So I just, you know,
• 17:48
  Speaker 3: I just wish I would have started with with that.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: Well, I think that says a lot about you know,
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: how you're feeling about this situation and being able to
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: kind of look in the mirror bit and you know, we've.
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: All got our stuff right.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: It's like you got to own it when it when
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: it comes and the fact that you're able to look
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: at that situation, which quite frankly was just you know,
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: a few days ago, and and look at it and
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: honestly and say that, I think says a lot. You know,
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: I mean, we all we all knew, we all knew
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: what she was going through and and and but we
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: also knew how much this had been eaten away at
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: the two of you, I mean really the three of you.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: I mean, Jonah had some some things to say too.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: And you know, if you listen to the podcast, you're
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: you're hearing that. But you know, that's a that's a
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: really thoughtful way to think about the situation, is that
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm not what I'm not hearing is she
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: should have done this. She should have said that I'm
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: hearing I should have done this. And that's you know,
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: I think that says a lot. So not wasted on me.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: Oh and I do want to specify.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, when I was talking about how I've been
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: cheated on, I was cheated on in grad school. So
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: this was not like That's why I'm saying, like, I
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: know how it feels to be cheated on, but I
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: don't know how it feels for her because I wasn't
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: cheated on in a marriage with three children, right, you know,
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: her level of hurt is a lot bigger than mine
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: ever was. But I do know how bad that betrayal.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I think it really shakes your confidence,
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: shakes everything that you think that you know to be true, right,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: I mean, it probably makes you full of so much
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: self doubt and yeah, I can't imagine, you know, And
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: our heart does go out for her because no one
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: deserves that. You guys both spoke about the Olive Branch
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: email that you had sent out. When you sent that,
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: what compelled you to take the time to write that email?
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: I mean obviously you knew things had been said, and
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: it was probably eaten away. I mean I know you so,
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: like in my mind, I know you well, so I
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: feel like that was eating away at you. It was
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: probably driving you crazy, not because you were thinking and
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: it was all about you ps you were thinking that
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: you didn't want to have this tension and something that
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: I know you value as a sisterhood, you know, like
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: the you think of the whole Bachelor Nation community, you know,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: as one of those things that I and rightfully so,
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: by the way, I think that you know, you really
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: kind of helped kickstart and you were a big part
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: of that, and you're a big part of the culture,
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: and I know that that probably is what was driving
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: you crazy, and you just didn't want to have that
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: blemish on the whole thing. Is that what made you
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: decide to send that email or what really made you
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: decide to send that email out of the gates just.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: To say I'm sorry, I don't you know, going thinking
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: back about the live tweet stuff. In today's day and age,
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: people you know will post on their stories or whatever,
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: but back then, it was like a thing like everyone
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: from Bachelor Nation who had a Twitter account, and it
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: was most people were live tweeting on the shows. It's
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: kind of like our version of like the recap on podcasts,
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: but it's like people were people were live tweeting, and
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: I was trying to be honest with people who were
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: listening to my live tweets, which isn't which isn't a
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: lot of people, I will admit, But you know, I
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: was just I was just trying to like like I
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: was sitting down on the same couch with all the
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: people at the same time, just commenting about what was happening.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: And you know she has said she said in that podcast,
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: the first one, she didn't like that person either after
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: she watched the show back and saw what she.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Said, and.
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: So I was commenting on the things that she was saying,
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: like about the other girls and whatever, and.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: It hurt her.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: But obviously, I mean, I have been called, as Heather
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: alluded to, every name in the book. When after The Bachelor,
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: when I was asked to be the Bachelorette and it
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: came out in the press that we were going to
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: do the show, I was called everything. I mean, besides
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: the fact that message boards were extremely cruel, and you know,
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: commented on everything about what I look like, how I walked,
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: how I talked, how all the things right, So I'm
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: not immune to that. I know how it feels when
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: the public are are commenting on you, on commenting that
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: things you've said, on commenting the situations you're in. And
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: my situation was that I was going to be one
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: girl dating twenty five guys into a lot of people
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: who were very traditional. They thought that I was going
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: to look like a slut and a whore and you know,
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: all of those things. And so I, yeah, I've dealt
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: with a lot of criticism in the twenty five years
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: that I've been in this business, and it's hurtful, and
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: so I try to live my life treating others how
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: I want to be treated. And when I put myself
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: in her shoes, when I heard about the book and
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: how my tweets affected her and then the podcast, I
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: just felt like I needed to say sorry, I because
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: I obviously, well maybe not obviously, I was not intending
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: to hurt her.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: I was trying to just.
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: Do what I did back then, do what we all
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: did back then, and live tweet. It's stupid, but that's
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: what I was doing at the time in my life.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: And even the host of that Please Advise show was like,
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: you know, she's married and have has kids. Why doesn't
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: she just like hang out with her husband and turn
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: off the television. And yeah, true, my husband would have
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: loved that, but he would love if I just hang
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: out with him instead of watch whenever there is a
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: bachelor or a bachelorette. But I've always said, like, I'll
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: always watch every show because it's part of who I
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: am and part of why I have a family. That
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: I have children, the fact that they exist is for
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: the show. So I was watching the show, I was commenting,
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: and my comments hurt her.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: Period.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: And when I when I realized, when I woke up
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: and was like, oh, yeah, you need to be thoughtful
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: about what you're putting out on Twitter and then later
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: on whatever platform I have, I need to treat others
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: how I want to be treated like I need. I
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: tell my kids that, you know, all the time, I
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: try to live a life like that. And obviously I
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: failed and I made a mistake and I owned up
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: to it, and I felt like it was necessary for
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: me to apologize.
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: Well, okay, so I think that's very thoughtful too. You
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: send that email, you guys have a nice exchange after
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: that email. I heard you say in the podcast. You said,
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: you know, well you got accepted my apology, and so
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: why were things still feeling awkward like between you guys,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: like if you if you had to, you know, put.
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: Your finger on it like it wasn't you know?
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Well, first of all, you greeted it with a big hug,
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: which I think is that's you know, that's a good
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: way to start for sure.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: But why was it still.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: Feeling awkward just because maybe you guys hadn't been in
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: the same room ever since then, or.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: I think that's part of it. Yeah.
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: I think also is that I thought we once she
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: responded to my respond my once she responded to my email,
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: then I thought we were good. And she said, well,
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: you never replied, And it's true because I thought that
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: we were good. I should have replied. I should have
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: said thank you for accepting my apology and I would
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: love that, you know, to get together in la or whatever.
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: So that's another fault of mine. I made a mistake,
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: and I own up to it, and I should have responded.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: I just thought that we were good.
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: And then I heard you know, podcasts later on years later,
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: where you know, she was saying things about me, and
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: that's when it got awkward because I thought we were
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: good after the Olive Branch email, and then she was
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: on these other podcasts, you know, saying that I had
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: an ego about me and that I treated my producer poorly,
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: and you know those kind of things, which which to
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: me were hurtful because Hannah and I, our producer, had
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: a great relationship, and I feel like there are there
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: was like either miss it was like a misunderstanding, like
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: when we do our podcasts, as as the host of
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: the podcast, you're in the zoom with your producer before
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: we bring in the guests. So I believe I had
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: been talking to Hannah before Courtney and this other guest
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: came into the podcast that we were doing, and I
• 27:53
  Speaker 3: don't know if like it was out of context, like
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: I don't know how I treated Anna incorrectly. But after
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: I heard about that that she thought that I treated
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: my producer poorly, I actually reached out to Hannah and said, Hey,
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: I'm so sorry if I've ever treated you poorly? Have
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: I ever treated you poorly?
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: Like is there.
• 28:13
  Speaker 3: Anything that I can apologize for? And she's like, no,
• 28:17
  Speaker 3: what are you talking about? You know, like, so we
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: had a great relationship. So that just hurt because I
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: feel like I tried to treat everyone with compassion and
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: kindness and fun and light, and so that hurt. And
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: then it was said that, you know, I had an
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: ego about me and you know, these things that I
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: thought we were good and so when those things were said,
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: those stuck in my mind. And I am the kind
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: of person like whenever I have an argument with my
• 28:57
  Speaker 3: husband or with my kid kids, or like some kind
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: of misunderstanding or conflict or anything. I am the kind
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: of person that has to talk about it like right away.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: Like if Ryan, like Ryan's like the opposite usually and
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: he's like, Okay, peace out, I gotta go like sit
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: and be alone and think about this or whatever. And
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: I'm like, no, please, don't do that to me. I
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: need to talk this through. So like when that kind
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: of stuff happened, I just tried to like be like ignore,
• 29:33
  Speaker 3: It's okay. You know, she has her opinion. She's entitled
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: to her opinion, and she's talking about it, and she's
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: entitled to.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Talk about it.
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: Like just focus on the present, live in the present,
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: and it will all be fine. You know, It's all good.
• 29:47
  Speaker 3: So I tried to just keep just keep going, just
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: keep swimming, you know. And I think that that's why
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: it was awkward, was because I was as the kind
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: of person who wants to talk things through if there
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: is ever any conflict, not being able and not that
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: I couldn't have reached out to her, but I was
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: just like I need to focus on what Like I
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: don't even remember what was going on in our life.
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: We've had a lot in the past, you know, with
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: Ryan's Ryan's illnesses.
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: And I don't know what was happening in that moment,
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: but I think I just was like, I just have
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: to focus on my life, you know, right now, and
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: not worry about it, and remember that she is entitled
• 30:38
  Speaker 3: to her opinion and she's entitled to, you know, talk
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: about whatever as we're doing now.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: So I.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: Just I think that's why it was awkward, because after
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: the Olive branch there were things said and my hurt,
• 30:57
  Speaker 3: my hurt was coming to the surface seeing her again,
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: you know, right.
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Now, I get it.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, sometimes out of sight, out of mind
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: to a certain degree, then that's that's not that's not
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: a fault of anyone. I mean, I think it's it's survival, right,
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: It's like a survival mechanic that kicks in. And you know,
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: so you guys had this pretty impassioned conversation, and again
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: it was it was kind of hard at times, you know,
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: to kind of tell where things were coming from or
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: whatever for.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: The most part.
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: But when you listen back and you think back would
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: probably be a better way to say, because I'm sure
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: there were some things that, you know, for whatever reason,
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: maybe maybe we didn't get to hear, But do you
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: regret anything from the conversation. I mean, you guys had
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: a chance to sit there and kind of hash things
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: out for a while. Do you have any regrets now
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: and looking back on it?
• 31:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that one about you know, just starting the conversation,
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: like starting when Heather gave me the.
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: Floor, just opening different Yeah, yeah.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: Just just coming from more of instead of wanting my
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: hurt to be heard. I wish I would have just
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: started with her hurt and apologized again because the one
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: thing we did learn on marriage boot Camp, which was
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: brought up on one of the podcasts that she was
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: and she didn't say anything bad. She said that we
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: went on the show and we just did it to
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: you know, better our relationship, which was the truth. The
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: one thing I learned there is that forgiveness is not
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: something that happens one time, like you have to continuously
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: forgive someone. So I should have said I'm sorry and
• 32:37
  Speaker 3: ask for forgiveness again, because I think from her perspective,
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: she's still hurt and with all that she's going through,
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: like focusing on I'm sure it's really hard for her
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: to you know, focus on any other kind of conflict
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: when she's got this giant conflict in front of her face,
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: So, and that's real life, that's everyday life. That's not
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: you know, once every twelve years in Tahoe, Right. So,
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: I mean from that perspective, not to say that this
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: isn't important, but I mean just I mean, obviously, yeah,
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: she's got a lot bigger, bigger hills to climb right now.
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: And you know, you know, one of the things she
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: said in the in the podcast that was interesting too
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: was she had mentioned that she feels like you and
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: Joan in particular, you know, because because she and Joan
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: also had some some things to talk about that you
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: guys had a very different experience than she did with
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: the franchise, basically saying that you guys, you know, your
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: experience was better and had a better edit. Right, I mean,
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: how did that make you feel? Was that anything that
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: made you? Did that trigger you at all? Did it
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: make you feel like you know? Whoa or are you
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: kind of at the point now where you're like, you
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: know what, everyone's entitled to their feelings about how that
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: whole situation worked for them, And you know, she's probably
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: not wrong in the way that she felt about some
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: of that, right, I mean because she was she was
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: you know, she's been sort of highlighted as one of
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: the villains for It's a much different experience than.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: Than what you had than what I had, Jones. You know,
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: it's like, I don't know how I would handle that.
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: No, I know, I think I think there's definitely some
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: truth to that. I also think that, pardon me. The
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: perspective is that it was all rainbows and butterflies, you know,
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: for me. But it wasn't like like how I talked
• 34:38
  Speaker 3: about how I was called every name in the book,
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: and it was, but that was difficult. It's difficult getting
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: literally called names for how you talk and how you walk,
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: which is like who you.
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: Are, right well, especially I meaneople that you know take
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: shots like that. The first thing they'll say is nothing personal, right.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: Personal, that's extremely personal when you say that you hate
• 35:10
  Speaker 3: the way that I talk, which you know, whatever, it is,
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: what it is where we live in a society where
• 35:17
  Speaker 3: people feel like they can, you know, say whatever they
• 35:21
  Speaker 3: want and there are no consequences. And you know, I
• 35:27
  Speaker 3: was I think I'm part of that, and I made
• 35:31
  Speaker 3: my mistakes and and and apologized when when I felt
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: like I hurt but I think that just needed to
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: be said more. I mean, I mean Joan had a
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: great edit because she's a great person, like if and not.
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: I'm not saying that compared to Courtney. I'm saying I
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: just feel like she got a good edit because she
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: is like who she It's who you see, is who
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: she is in person, you know, like her edit, I
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: feel like was I don't know how you give Joan
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: a bad edit. You know, she's been through a lot,
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: you know, and with losing her husband, and she had
• 36:19
  Speaker 3: been going through some stuff with her with her daughter
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: when the show was airing.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I.
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Think I Joan is a great friend and a great person,
• 36:33
  Speaker 3: But I do think there is something to be said
• 36:36
  Speaker 3: for the edits that happen on the show. I've always
• 36:41
  Speaker 3: been I've always said this, and I think Chris Harrison
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: like said it to her on the you know after
• 36:47
  Speaker 3: the final rose was but you said those things. And
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: so I've always been the person who is like, you know,
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: be careful. If I could coach people going on the show.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: It would be.
• 37:01
  Speaker 3: Just be careful with with what you say because it
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: can and will be used against you in your edit right,
• 37:09
  Speaker 3: and and the crazier thing now that I have learned,
• 37:14
  Speaker 3: and like I feel like we talked about it on
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: you know years ago, was on the podcast, was that
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: they can, like with AI and everything, I bet they
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: can just make you say something whatever they want you
• 37:28
  Speaker 3: to say. So and you know, you sign your life away.
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: It's what we sign up for to be on television.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: That there they can and will, you know, use things
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: that you say. So I do feel lucky that I
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: got what I guess is considered a good edit, and
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: I I you know, for anyone who gets a bad
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: at it, I'm sorry that that has happened to you.
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: I feel like with technology, like they can bring a
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: word from this sentence that you said last week to
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: you know, these this string of words.
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: So I don't know, I want to believe that they
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: wouldn't do that to people, but you.
• 38:16
  Speaker 3: Know, we live in the world of reality television, and
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: that's what happened.
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the old Frank can edit as they say, right
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: where they just pull a bunch of stuff.
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: So we're almost I mean, what are we almost a
• 38:40
  Speaker 2: week out from when you guys actually sat down and talked.
• 38:42
  Speaker 2: I guess not really almost, but we're getting there. Do
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: you feel any sense of relief or any sense of
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: is there anything that makes you feel better now that
• 38:56
  Speaker 2: you guys have had this chance to sit down and talk,
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: or or now are you just filled with you know,
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: feelings of oh my god, I shouldn't have done that,
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: I should have done this, or I should have said this.
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: Is there anything that's good that you can find? And
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: I think you are a glass half full person? So
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: is there anything that's good that you can find from
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: the fact that it's all kind of out there? Now?
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: It's hard because I don't know if this comes from
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: just that it's.
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: No, I don't even know what I want to say. Sorry,
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: this is the confusing brain happening you're talking about.
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah, brain just goes all over the place and thoughts
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: disappear like a poof. So, I, you know, I came
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: home or I finished the podcast and I and then
• 39:53
  Speaker 3: I came home, and we've been home. Let's see, we
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: got home Friday. It's Tuesday, and it's still part of
• 40:03
  Speaker 3: my thoughts. I have a lot going on with with
• 40:07
  Speaker 3: Max leaving, and I mean we're literally.
• 40:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, dropping him off on Sunday, and.
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: It's just hard, I you know, saying goodbye to him.
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: He's only an hour away, So I keep focusing on that,
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: but it is really hard, Like they don't people don't
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: really talk about this when your kids are young, and
• 40:38
  Speaker 3: it's something that you know, you teach them right for wrong,
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: You teach that. You know, you have them go to
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: school so they can learn how to do something with
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: their life, and but you don't truly understand it until
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: you're going through it, like having to say goodbye to
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: your kids and like.
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: Let them soar.
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: And I'm so proud of him and so excited for
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: his future, but it's.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: Also just it's just.
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: Very emotional obviously. Yeah, so we have a lot going on,
• 41:13
  Speaker 3: but it is still part of my inner dialogue, and
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: that regret about not leading with love and and all
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: of that that just keeps coming up, you know, and
• 41:35
  Speaker 3: that I feel, I just feel like I wish I
• 41:41
  Speaker 3: would have done that. And so when you ever have
• 41:43
  Speaker 3: a regret, it just kind of replays, you know, in
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: your head.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: Into something else. And yeah, yeah, so I don't know.
• 41:51
  Speaker 3: I I think that I have to focus on what's happening.
• 41:56
  Speaker 3: I meant Ryan just I almost called him Mexican. I
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: did that literally when we were top squar.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: My son is nineteen.
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: My husband I've been married to for almost twenty three years,
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: and I'm calling them the same name anyway, if that
• 42:12
  Speaker 3: gives you any indication on the level of my brain power,
• 42:16
  Speaker 3: share the brain. But yeah, so you know, he just
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: changed jobs. So we've got big changes happening, and I'm
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: trying to live in the moment and you know, try
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: to move forward and allow her to do the same
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: because she needs probably all the yeah, all the capacity
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: that she can muster to get through this.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: I think it's safe to say you're both going through
• 42:46
  Speaker 1: a lot, obviously in different ways. And you know.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: That there's a lot going on. I mean, everybody's got
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: their stuff right and it's and I get it. And
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: what she's going through is very very heavy. What you're
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: going through is very emotional and very already knew, you know,
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: sort of process all that. I mean, do you think
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: maybe at some point you guys could have a friendship.
• 43:09
  Speaker 2: Do you think at some point you guys could you
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: you would you ever think to reach out to her again?
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: And I mean obviously not right now because there's not
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: going on, But is that something that could be in
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: the foreseeable future that you know, maybe another opportunity to
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: sit down. Maybe this time you don't need camera career
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: or microphones there.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know, not saying that that.
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: You know, again, I know that wasn't anybody's you know,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: you know, preemptive idea at the time. But you know,
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: is that a possibility, is that something that could happen,
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: and is that something you're open to?
• 43:40
  Speaker 3: I never say never with anything. I at the end
• 43:45
  Speaker 3: of the podcast, I said, you know, as someone who
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: has always felt maternal towards people on the show, I.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Love my Bachelor Nation family.
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: She is part of that. But we don't have to
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: be friends, you know, you you don't have to like me.
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: And I think that that's one of the lessons I'm
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: taking away from this is we get to choose in
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: our adult life and hopefully when your kids too, you
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: get to choose who your people are, who you know
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: your chosen family is. And everyone has different experiences, different
• 44:32
  Speaker 3: senses of humor, different value systems, you know, all of that.
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: We are not all equal, but we all are human.
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: And I think that just I love my Bachelor Nation family,
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: but I don't think all of us. I guarantee that
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: there are multiple people within Bachelor Nation who maybe don't
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: see i'd and like each other. You know, I don't
• 45:06
  Speaker 3: particular I don't necessarily like certain things that she's said
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: about me, and I guarantee she doesn't like things that
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: I've said about her. So there's that. But the hope
• 45:21
  Speaker 3: is that we can move forward and if she's listening,
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: which she's got a lot going on, I don't expect
• 45:32
  Speaker 3: her to be, but I do hope that she knows
• 45:35
  Speaker 3: that I'm sorry that if there is any hope for
• 45:42
  Speaker 3: any kind of friendship, because as she has said another podcasts,
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: we do have mutual friends. I don't like awkward.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: I don't like conflict.
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: I don't. I just I don't like that. I'm not
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: saying that she does, but I just don't. And we're
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: part of this whole, crazy, dysfunctional family. You know. I'm
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: so thankful to be part of it, and I do
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: want to lift people up. After all of this happened,
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: and she wrote her book and I came to the
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: realization that I that I hurt her after that I
• 46:25
  Speaker 3: have really tried and I have obviously failed at times,
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: and I wanted to be a better person and be
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: more thoughtful about what I say.
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: Out loud.
• 46:44
  Speaker 3: You know, we all are entitled to our opinion, but
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: just trying to be conscientious about treating other people how
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: you want to be treated. It's just it's an important,
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: an important thing to me, like really important to me,
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: and when I am not embracing that, it really freaking
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: bumps me out that that myself.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it makes me mad at myself.
• 47:21
  Speaker 3: I as I said in the email to her the
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: Olive Branch, I actually said that, I said, I don't
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: like that part of myself, and I'm so sorry.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: So so yeah, never say never, I guess very thoughtful
• 47:47
  Speaker 1: and very honest, and.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: You know, I think ultimately, you know, kindness, you know,
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: we all teach our kids that, right, you try to,
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: I know you do. I know I do my kindness first, right,
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: And let's let's just lead with kindness and lead, you know,
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: have an open heart and an open mind, and you know,
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: there's a lot that can come of that, and.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: I hope for the best.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think, you know, one of the things
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: that comes from something like this is sometimes getting it
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: out there and now it's now it's no longer just
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: something that festers between the two of you, or maybe
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: some comments here and there. It's like it's it's out there, right,
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: so there's there's nowhere to go but up right, I
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: mean at the end of the day. And I mean,
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: don't get me wrong, I guess there's other places to go,
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: but you know, with the mindset, with the proper mindset,
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: there's nowhere to.
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: Go but up.
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: And I you know, I wish I wish the best
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: for both of you guys with this, and definitely wish
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: the best for both of you going through the emotional
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: situations that you're going through right now. And you know, yeah,
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: I mean I I have hope, So knowing you and
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: knowing her.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: I have hope.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: And I feel like this is something that you know,
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: with time and with with a little you know, attention
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: and a little care, could possibly you know, be in
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: a good spot.
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: And it doesn't always, it might not. You know, it
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: doesn't have.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: To be BFFs forever, right, It can it can be
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: something where it's like, hey, we we respect each other,
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: and we we get each other now, and we can
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: care about each other and we can have a nice
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: interaction when we see each other, and that would be
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: you know from a from a genuine place, and I
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: think that that's something that we can definitely hope for
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: and work towards, you know.
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: So I have hope there, I say it, I believe it.
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: You know. That's one thing that comes from this almost
• 49:39
  Speaker 2: famous OG podcast. We put out hope, and we put
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: out good, good will and wishful wishful thinking, so that
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: I got all those things pumping right now. So I
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: would love nothing more than to see you guys have
• 49:52
  Speaker 2: an opportunity of having a nice relationship. So I think
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: that that's something that is definitely out there and now
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: maybe we have a way to work right. Yeah, so
• 50:02
  Speaker 2: there we go. Well, Trista, I love you, my friend,
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: and I hope you know that. Thank you for wanting
• 50:09
  Speaker 2: to talk through this with me. I know it was
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: an emotional week in Tahoe, and I know it was
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: tough for you, for Courtney, for a lot of people,
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: and my heart goes out to both you guys, But
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: thank you for talking through this with me and let's
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: let's hope for better days ahead.
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks for letting me, thanks for letting me share
• 50:27
  Speaker 3: and come on here, and yeah, I just I just
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: want to move forward with love and compassion and be
• 50:39
  Speaker 3: a better person. So thanks for holding me accountable to
• 50:44
  Speaker 3: that and helping me move forward.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: That's what friends are for. Thank you try more stuff,
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: all right, Well, thank you all for listening.
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: Thank you for were allowing Allan, trist and I to
• 51:02
  Speaker 2: talk with you all today about what happened, and we
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: appreciate you guys tuning in.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: So this has been almost famous to oh geez, thanks guys.
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: I'm Bob, I'm Trista. Have a great day.