Latest / Learn Today. Share Tomorrow. / Learn Today. Share Tomorrow. | Episode 3 | Frank Messina

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Learn Today. Share Tomorrow. | Episode 3 | Frank Messina · Learn Today. Share Tomorrow.

• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: Hello again, everybody.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to Learn Today, Share Tomorrow.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: We're delighted to welcome you all.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_02: My name is Scott Maureen, along with my co-host.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_02: How are you, my friend?
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_06: Hi, I'm Maitsie Miller.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_06: We're so glad that you're here with us today.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_06: This show is about education, philanthropy, and people that make a difference.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_06: And one of those people is Frank Messina, who's joining us today.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_06: Welcome, Frank.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome, Frank.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_01: So good to be here.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you want to tell the world who you are and what you do?
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: Frank Messina, just think of Frankenstein, but it's the doctor, not the monster.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: I uh work in the financial sector, didn't start off in that area, was originally in the medical field.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but I guess you get to reinvent yourself.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: And now I just do a lot of work with philanthropy and public speaking, and I just love to meet personalities, collect people and connect them.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_03: Learn today, share tomorrow is the name of the program.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_03: Where do you fit your life by uh learning today, where you where you where you learned and uh and what you continue to share with our with our world?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well, there are seasons in life and you learn different things, but later, sometimes you find out the lessons you learned early on were wrong.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_01: So uh uh I I think for much of my um childhood, uh the lessons I learned really put me in on the wrong path.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I I learned that my parents were villains and they weren't.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_01: But when you grow up thinking that your parents are villains, and as a child, your parents are your whole world, you grow up thinking that the whole world is against you.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: Well, who said they were villains?
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_01: Where did that come from?
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: I did.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_01: I said that.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_01: I made the whole thing up.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_01: Um I think I I brought it back to when I was two years old.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_01: I immigrated from the Philippines, and it was my most lucid memories as a child.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: Just being in like the airplane, you know, seeing the clouds from the other side, playing tag with the kids in the cabin.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Even at two years old, you remember that?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Two years old, I do.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: I have some memories before that, but this was the most lucid childhood memory.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when you came to the US of A.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_01: It is.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: So it was during um one of their famous blizzards in Chicago.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: And if you can imagine when I was embarking on the plane in the Philippines, tropical.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I was wearing the Izod shirt, I was wearing flip-flops and shorts.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_01: I remember when the aircraft door opened, I felt that blast of air, and my my breathing was arrested.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then I remember going on the stairs, touching the rails, and thinking, this rail is hot, because I didn't have a word for frostbite.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I had the inception, my parents are incompetent.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: And from then on, I always attributed anything that went wrong in the household to the immigrant uh uh parent that was like um, you know, just didn't know anything about living in America.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_01: Brothers and sisters?
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, they the legend is I ate my sister in the womb.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_06: Sorry, not strong.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's right.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Not a protein.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I believe I did have a sister.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_01: I just never met her.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: She is older and had passed away before I had known her.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_03: You have a family of your own now?
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so married, family of seven, so five kids, no multiples, one spouse.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: And from uh the first year of marriage, it was a culture shock because we got married, really excited, went on our honeymoon.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's the first one.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: The second one, my my uh wife told me that you can't get pregnant while you're nursing.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's that's that's it, yeah.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's two.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: So uh two in diapers, boy, girl, and I'm thinking, okay, this is instant family.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: We're done, aren't we?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: And they said, Yeah, sure, I'm gonna go in birth control.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think she went on birth control.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: I think she said, honey, I'm going on birth control, you know, go have at it.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: So we had two boys supposedly while she was on birth control.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: So here's the count so far: boy, girl, boy, boy.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: Our girl at you know, 13 months old is diagnosed with uh um uh autism.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: And my wife and I were saying, if we were to pass away, of course the brothers love their sister to death.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_01: Of course they would take care of her.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: But because they're boys and she's a girl, they can only take care of her so far.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Wouldn't it be great if Audrey had a sister?
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_01: And another girl.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_01: Now, there's all kinds of ways that you can medically predetermine the sex of your child, but we figure let's just pray about having a girl.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: If we have a boy, we won't complain about it.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: So we had the girl, and we named her middle name Ruth, like in the biblical story with Ruth and Naomi.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Ruth was supposed to take care of uh her mother-in-law.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: So the only one I wanted was the last one.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_01: And how old are they now?
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's always changing.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_01: So the oldest is 24 and the youngest is 18.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: Shipped her off to Air Force Academy.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_06: She's amazing.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: Young, yeah, that's as my flux right now.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like wearing an Air Force merch right now, the shirt's Air Force, and yeah.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's like, it's like I finally have arrived.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_06: She she does all kinds of things, the gymnastics.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_06: Um, like you said, the Air Force eyes up were friends on Instagram.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_06: And so I follow close closely what his daughter does because I'm amazed at all the things that she does.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_06: Um, I don't see you post as much of the other kiddos, but you know, what what are the what is the one lesson that you feel the proudest that you've taught your kids?
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_01: Again, there are seasons in life and you teach them different things.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the things I've taught them were all the wrong things because they always pick up on the wrong things, right?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so I mean I I I taught them how to get out of their lane.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: That it's not the events in life that cause misery.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's your thoughts about the events in life that cause misery.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's almost like social media rewards students for putting drama out there.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: So they they accentuate their drama, they look for negative things and and then that whole victim mentality.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so I just taught my kids that um, did you really have a bad day today?
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_01: Or was it a bad two minutes that you milked all day long?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: And then they laugh and then they snap out of it.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_03: Then they snap out of it.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_03: You hope.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_03: Well, you know, to follow up on that question, I just wondered what what if you were to say the top three things as a dad, after all that you've endured and all that you went through, and they have five kids in a period of about six years, uh, I mean, that's that's above and beyond.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_03: Um, what are those five things that would come to mind that uh are most important that you would share with your children so that they can be just incredible adults and and work well and positively and productively with their children so that there is some purpose in who they are and what they are about as as a parent.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: Number one is just let them be.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_01: I I I learned that they are in their own process of becoming.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: And if they are a certain way in this stage of their life, that's exactly where they need to be.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: Just let them go through that process, just trust the process.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: The other thing is just to um, you know, be even peeled.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I I mentioned before, it's not the events in life that cause misery, it's your thoughts about the events and that cause so change your thoughts, you just change your life.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and um, another one is is uh, you know, learning how to like prioritize.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like right now, my daughter is first year Air Force Academy, and uh a text came through her phone and it said something along the lines of, you know, like I want to know where this relationship is going.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_01: So it's it's it's another Air Force cadet, another athlete.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking, she's first year, and she's just barely been on on like the campus.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: And this boy is like pressuring her for, you know, to have a relationship, take it to the next level.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_01: I want to know where this is going.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Uh that that's pretty aggressive, right?
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Especially at that age for sure.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so so uh the advice was was just say, you know, I want to take it slow, I don't want to commit to anything now, and then see what his response is.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because that will be very telling.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, absolutely.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Good advice.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so we agree.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: We have yet to see how what happens with that.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_03: You haven't gotten the response yet, huh?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_03: Not yet.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: Interesting.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um that's uh, you know, as as you've heard, the name of our program is Learn Today, Share Tomorrow.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_03: So where does that fit into your life?
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_03: Because it sounds like you learn at a very young age and in a very positive way.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_03: And it sounds like you're also involved uh in a in a in a giving way, sharing tomorrow, tomorrow meaning today, as an adult now, you're sharing uh philanthropically.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_03: Is that uh is that kind of fit with who you are and what you're all about and where you've grown up and now as an adult move forward?
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_01: Very much so.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: So um I know pretty much for for for much of my life I was very intentional about how to be happy, how to be successful.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Spent a lot of money on those things.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: Where your treasurer is there, too, is your heart.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of leadership seminars, books, um, back then cassettes.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: And even though I spent all that time and money trying to be happy and trying to be successful, I was neither.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then what I had discovered was the less I thought about myself, less ego, I was actually happier.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_01: There was no pressure of what do people think of me?
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, none of those things.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_01: I had a blank canvas, so to speak, where now I can create something new.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: And when I was all about others, that's when I was most happy.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_01: And that's sort of like one of those secrets that who would have thought that by thinking of others, it would make you more happier.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: That economics doesn't really doesn't really pan out in your mind, but it does.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember the goal I had is I wanted to be generous.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: That was the virtue I really wanted to develop.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, in the Bible it talks about, you know, you know, the righteous will go through many, many uh tests and trials.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: And it's ordinary to go through those things.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because I wanted to be generous, I believe God had given me scarcity.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I had um six uh six instances of cancer, open heart surgery, back surgery, I had malaria, a mercury poisoning.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_01: That creates scarcity in one's life.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: You did actually have all of those things?
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: But during those times, that that was when I was trained to be generous.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: If I can be generous during those times, when I recover, I mean, how much more would that generosity you know be seen?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_01: Generous in what way?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh time, talent, and treasure in every way possible.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: With other nonprofits, nonprofits or just people around me.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: I can't help everybody in the world, but the people who cross my path, I will I will take those seriously.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: How are you doing now, uh health-wise?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, right now I I just gamify it.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'm still I'm I wouldn't say I'm a hundred percent, but I nothing enters my life unless it's allowed or decreed by God.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's just what I the comfort I have.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: So if it's in my life, I just have to navigate it.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: Were these uh just things that uh hereditary uh, you know, you the cancer.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, did did you have that in your family or no, no.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, even the doctors are kind of baffled.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_01: I have no family history of the cancers I have.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um Do you want to share any of them?
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: Or well, one of them was is like melanoma.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_04: Okay.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm kind of olive skinned, right?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: I have no like moles in my body.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: And yet I've had melanoma three times.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just something that enters my life.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I I just I just work with it.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: Go with the flow.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: Trust the process.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_06: What keeps you positive?
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_06: Like you're saying, giving to people.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_06: But you know, every day we wake up and every day we have different thoughts.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_06: Uh, you know, some days we wake up positive, some days we don't.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_06: What is is there something specific that you say to yourself every morning when you wake up and say, Okay, I'm gonna fight this fight, or you know, I'm gonna wake up and share.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_06: What is it that keeps you going every day?
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, when I wake up, when I wake up, um my natural state is happy.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I I know I was given diagnosis twice.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: I had four months to live.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: So because of the cancer?
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because of the cancer, two separate occasions, wrecked my wife.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_01: And uh now she tells all her friends, you know.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_01: Frank always tells me that he's gonna die for me, but he never does.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 13:34
  unknown: Yeah.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I I just wake up happy.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: I always say make it a great day unless you have other plans.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I don't have any other plans.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_01: And if things go bad, I always know you'll have a bad inning once in a while because it's it's ordinary.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's ordinary to suffer, but I know I'm gonna win the game.
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_01: And if I'm gonna suffer, I just want to make sure that I'm suffering for things that are worthy of my life.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: And then the suffering is no longer suffering.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: All it is is just it's just like today's game.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_03: Favorite things to do.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I I I like to eat, it's an expensive habit.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: I I go, and because I like to eat, I'm good foods.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: Good, yep.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta travel though, we've got to eat.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I I always hang around expensive places like gas stations, uh, so I can get from place to place.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, and I just really enjoy hearing people's stories.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: I I I want to hear their superhero origin story arc and then all the things that they're up to.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because whatever they share, what they're up to, I mean, think about it.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's all the things that give that person a sense of importance.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: Or otherwise they wouldn't share about those projects.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: And once you know what gives a person their sense of importance, you really have them.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like you really understand them.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why I just enjoy collecting all these people's and stories.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I try to encourage them to, you know, get that book out of them and write that book and go on a to that stage.
• 15:05
  unknown: Yeah.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: It's funny you say write that book.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_03: I was gonna ask you, I've written three books myself.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I just uh wondered, you sound like you have lived a life to the point that you have lived today, uh, that you could have written a book, or that you are someone that would say, you know, I'd like to share this message that I have and who I am and what I'm all about and what I've endured during my life.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_03: I need to share this with some other people.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_03: I've had cancer four times, five times, eighty times, whatever.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, did that ever come to you?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_03: You know, that that's something I need to do and share that as a as a philanthropic endeavor.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so it has occurred to me to write a book because people have encouraged me to.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I do have uh a book in the chamber that I have not pulled the trigger on.
• 15:49
  SPEAKER_01: For what reason?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: I just don't have a hankering to do so.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um for for for why?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: Because you seem like a giving person.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um you said prior to this interview that you you know my son, but this is the first time we've met.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yet in the short time that we've been talking here, I get the sense that you are a giving person.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_03: You do want to be a difference maker.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: So I just wondered why you have not said, you know what, I need to share my life and all that I've endured, because it could probably be very uh beneficial and of assistance to uh to other people.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly right.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe I'm just getting in my own way because my my thought is well, uh, even if someone has a fantastic story arc, if that person is not known, no one's gonna be interested in reading their book anyway.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, because maybe, maybe I know a lot of people, but do they know who I am?
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's the difference, right?
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: And then if if that's the case, then who would want to read my book anyway?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: So I I just I just it's a great point you make.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: I I understand exactly where you're coming from because I've heard people say that before.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody knows me.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_03: It's not like you, Scott.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_03: You were on television your whole life.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_03: Um they know who you are.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, they want to hear the other side of the story.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um, nobody knows who you are.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_03: And okay, so you had cancer, lots of people get cancer.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_03: So I I hear totally where you're coming from, but but your story is uh rather impactful.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_03: So you are impactful.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_03: So uh it uh you know I I I if I was your manager, I would say keep going on the book.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, I see.
• 17:20
  SPEAKER_01: I like that.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: I I see I see what you're doing there.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: It needs to be done.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_06: What else do you have in in works right now?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_06: What are you working on?
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_06: Any special projects?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_06: I know you're an actor also.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I I do acting just for kicks.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: It was really a random thing.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: So what do you act at?
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Uh what's your what's your favorite?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I do a lot of commercials, so like especially in in this in this market, you know, people would say, you know, you look really familiar.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just attributing that perhaps they saw a bunch of my commercials.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: I usually pay like a doctor or like in the hospital or something.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, I I would tell people, yeah, you know, I get that a lot.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_01: People just think I it's because I look a lot like Denzel, right?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: So a boy can dream, right?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_01: There you go.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: Interesting.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_06: So I know that you have a special project coming up in South Africa.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I'm gonna be doing a TEDx talk in in South Africa.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: I figure let's let's make that like a vacation slash work, slash let's meet some of the personalities out there, collect more stories.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you only YOLO once.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: So um if if if there's a door open, I'm gonna take advantage of it and uh and then just see what happens.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: I just go with the flow.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_03: You go with the flow, and yet I I still think that you're uh someone that wants to be impactful and make a difference.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_03: So just out of curiosity, Sunday, what do you what do you hope your your legacy will be as you look back on who you are, what you are, who you've been, and what you continue to be a part of?
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_03: What would you like your legacy?
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: What is you've got five kiddos, they you know, gonna look at their dad.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I I would imagine you'll be gone before they are, and they say, incredible man, this is what was special about him.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_03: What what what's it gonna be?
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_03: What what are you proudest of and what would you like your legacy to be?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, e even that narrative has changed my life.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: I I I did want a legacy because I want to have a like a large trust so my grandchildren and great-grandchildren would know they're receiving like a birthday check every every year of their life.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: Uh my name would be on that check.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_01: Or I would have, you know, like I don't know, a foundation or you know, something to remember me by.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_01: But now, like for me, like it's just different.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: I I I don't have that desire to have anything about myself even remembered.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: I want to be as small as possible.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, because that's where I really feel like I have the most joy was if I'm completely unburdened of self.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: Now we have that blank canvas.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: Now I can put the things I really want there, which are others.
• 19:55
  SPEAKER_01: So my kids would be my legacy.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Or anyone that I like, you know, was in my friend circle, that would be my legacy.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Uh but um yeah, I just I don't have that desire to have my my name known.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_03: Well, and I and I didn't mean just uh to be famous in in in that respect, but I mean just the legacy that you would leave for, as you said, yeah, your children, your grandchildren, your great grandchildren.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_03: Uh are your parents still alive?
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, they are.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_01: Are they proud of you?
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: I believe so.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_01: I mean I'm I'm their only child.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: I made sure of that.
• 20:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I yeah, well, so when I was older, when I had realized I had seen my parents as the villain for my well, that's why I asked the question because you said here at the beginning of the the broadcast uh that the villain, and and I went, hmm, yeah, what's that all about?
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, because um I I I remember like like I was a Lachke kid in the 80s, which was kind of normal, raised by the Brady Bunch and Tom and Jerry, and and my parents were not home.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: And it didn't occur to me that they weren't home because they wanted to build a future for me and they were working hard.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: To me, they weren't home because they didn't like being parents.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um I had thought we were very, very poor growing up until I found out that my father had been putting my cousins through college.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, wow, that that that seals the deal.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's not because he's generous, it's because he likes other children, you know, besides me.
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_01: And so that that just that bother you?
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_01: It did because uh every single thing they did was always sort of twisted in a way to fulfill that narrative that uh I wasn't loved and the parents are the villain.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: And then I just realized like, why am I treating my wife and my kids in a way that's not optimal?
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: Like I I'm not like the kind like father that that I I always envisioned I.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Would you know be superseding my own parents, right?
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then I just I had to have someone walk me through that.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: Because if I could figure it out on my own, I would have.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: So had someone kind of like just talk it through it.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_01: That's when it went back to the memory of the airplane.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's when I had accepted myself that my parents are incompetent.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the and then it just But the relationship today is it's good because I I had told them this is how I saw you.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: They had no idea.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I said, This is how I saw you, this is why I did the things I did, this is why I rebelled the way I did, uh, why I I was involved in gangs and things.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_04: You're in gangs.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, yeah.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: In Chicago, yeah, different gangs in Chicago.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so yeah, I I I did all these different things because because I had thought of my parents a certain way.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: It seems so so cliche that a lot of the the problems we have in life stem from childhood.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: But I guess it really is.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: We have our worldview by the time we're six, and if we want to have a semblance of sanity, we want to be consistent with the worldview.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: And my worldview was that I was just the victim.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_06: And what changed that?
• 23:11
  SPEAKER_06: What was the moment that you can say, I don't think this way about my parents, I'm not the victim anymore.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_01: It was just realizing I am behaving in a way where uh towards my my wife and my kids in a way that that I don't want to be.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be distant, I don't want to like be dismissive.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_01: And then I thought, well, someone's gonna help me with this, right?
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_01: Because if if I was able to do so, I would.
• 23:40
  SPEAKER_01: And then they just kind of walk me through things and took about a week.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: And then I I learned how to deconstruct.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_04: Your parents walk you through that?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: No, no, just uh different kinds of kinds of coaches.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, usually like wisdom has to come from somebody else, it can't come from your parents because you know, you know, children, even adult children, see their parents with ill-minded eyes many times, and they have no idea.
• 24:05
  SPEAKER_01: They think they're seeing their parents clearly.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's when I learned how to uh challenge all of my presuppositions.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_01: So any any thought I would have about a person, okay, just don't insert any meaning into things.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: If someone doesn't call you back, don't start putting meaning that this person doesn't like you.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: You know, just just you know, right?
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: Don't add meaning.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, I think it was Mark Twain who said something like, it's not the things that you don't know that get you in trouble, it's the things you know for sure that ain't that ain't so that get you in trouble.
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_01: And um, that's how I I lived a lot of my life.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_01: I would assume certain things and just believe it to be true.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: So there's the camera right there.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_03: What would you say to the camera and everybody that is watching this and listening to everything that you've shared?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_03: What's the advice you would give them to how to live their their life day to day in a positive, productive way?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_03: So they can enjoy it, but at the same time, they can be a difference maker of the ultimate degree too.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_03: What comes to mind?
• 25:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I would tell them the things that you're struggling with right now are good.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's where you are in your life.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: Uh you have to be present to it.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, there are seasons, just trust the process.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: So don't beat yourself up about it.
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: Just let it yes.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, because it's part of a process of the painful process of becoming interesting.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_03: And is there something that they should think about as a result of that?
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_03: And if you do what you just suggested long term, I can see what's going to happen in the future and who I'm going to come to be when I get a little older and I move forward in a in in you know in this world as a dad, as a husband, as a family member, as a as a leader, as you know, as what?
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_06: Philanthropist.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly right.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_03: And and you build yourself as we as you know learn today, share tomorrow, and become that philanthropist and that that giver of making a difference.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Mr.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: Murray, you know, there's a a very common saying that a lot of motivational peep speakers say on stage.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: They all say, if you, you know, don't association, if you hang around five millionaires, guess what?
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: You're the sixth millionaire.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: If you hang around five bank robbers, guess what?
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: You're the driver.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: And everyone gets it from the neck up.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_01: But after that weekend, is anyone there looking to hang around millionaires?
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: That was the application.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: So I had just been intentional about getting into people's orbits that I wanted to be like.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_03: And you call me Mr.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_03: Murray.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_03: That's my father.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Scott.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_03: If you only have one way of calling yourself, you lack imagination.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_03: Well, see, that's the problem with you knowing my son.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_03: You call me Mr.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_03: Murray, and you call my son by his name.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_03: How'd you meet my son?
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, just throughout um, I don't know, just random parties in in the community.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's um he's good to be around.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_01: Uh I I didn't know the first couple of times really who he was and what he was up to.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: Very unassuming.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: He's the kind of person who has charisma in the sense where he shows up by not saying, Here I am, but there you are.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's just a it's a very different feeling.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: Well, it's very nice of you to say that.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: So I'm very proud of him.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_03: He's my business partner.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: Uh we have a television production company, and that's why I left after doing the the news for 30 plus years.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_03: Said, okay, because he graduated from Bailey University with a degree in television film and what have you.
• 27:42
  SPEAKER_03: And so working with him is is just uh the ultimate.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: You're you're like the dynamic duo, except you're both bad men.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 27:53
  SPEAKER_03: Is that a good thing?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_06: Yeah, it's a good thing.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_06: He likes that Captain America.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_03: Well, closing thoughts.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_03: We're uh we're about ready to wrap things up.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you have been outstanding.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_03: Would you not agree?
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_06: Absolutely.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_06: I know him personally.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_06: I already thought that about him.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_06: He was one of our main sponsors for a foundation, uh Gala.
• 28:12
  SPEAKER_03: So that's how I please share what the gala is about because it it goes what what you do.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's important for somebody that doesn't know what you do.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_06: My my Yeah, I can't write my book yet, right?
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_06: Unless they get to know me.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_06: Um, so uh I have a foundation, Cosmic Mine Funds, that is for education, bilingual monthsary education.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_06: So that's how I get to meet a lot of the philanthropists because they help.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_06: Um, one of the big events that we have is the gala that we do in October.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_06: And so Frank was one of those main players.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_06: And throughout all of that, um, I've gotten to know a lot of people that he works with.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_06: And as he's saying, uh, he connects people, he finds people who make a difference.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_06: I think anyone that hangs out with you that you get to know is people that do care, they have a passion.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_06: So uh those are the kind of people that you know we want around here, that we want to learn from.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_06: And so we thank you for being here, Frank.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_06: And I know that you'll continue to be around.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_06: Um, you're in six other organizations as well for board of directors.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_06: Uh, and so he's also part of our um advisory group now with Cosmic Mind Fund.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_06: So we're very, very, very glad that you're here with us and sharing and learning about you.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'm very excited to work with you too, Maetsi.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're up to stuff.
• 29:30
  SPEAKER_01: You're a rock star and you're only getting started.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_06: Thank you so much.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: Very good.
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_03: Well, uh, thank you much.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_03: We really appreciate it and uh continued success.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thank you for the platform, and I'm honored to be here.
• 29:44
  SPEAKER_01: Continue success to you too.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: Good.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you much.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_03: Well, on that note, we wrap things up.
• 29:49
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, the name of the program, Learn Today, Share Tomorrow.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_03: We're all there being educated every single day, learning to become the most incredible leader we can be in this world, but at the same time, being a giver.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_03: And as we wrap things up on behalf of uh Myat C.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_06: Miller.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: I'm Scott Murray.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_03: And we say to you, live your life as a go-getter, but more importantly, share your life as a go giver.
• 30:09
  SPEAKER_03: Till next time, stay well.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_04: See ya.