Latest / All In with Allie / Hi, You're Gonna Die. In the Mean Time, Are You Even LIVING??
Transcript
- 0:00Hi. In this episode, I'm going to lovingly remind you that all of
- 0:03our time here on earth is fineite, and we're going to do a little
- 0:06check in to see for even really living in the way that we say that
- 0:11we want to live. Let's get into it. Welcome to Allie with Ali
- 0:20Podcasts, the podcast for online business owners and entrepreneurs who are ready to create
- 0:24the life and business of their dreams. I am so happy you are here,
- 0:28and I'm having existential crisis. Way, guys, I don't know what
- 0:35it is. I mean, I kind of do. I made a list.
- 0:38I made a list. I was like, what what is going on?
- 0:42The other night? I was in bed and I do this, I
- 0:47get like, actually, saw, oh man, what is that couple.
- 0:51There's a couple. I know they're really big on TikTok, but I see
- 0:55I don't have TikTok, I don't have ticketalk the tikatok, but I see
- 1:00them on Facebook all the time. They're short videos. It's like a comedy
- 1:07couple. They're super cute. It's like Alex and I forget her husband John.
- 1:12I think his name is John. Do you know what I'm talking about?
- 1:17They're so cute they're so funny. They both have dark hair. They're
- 1:19freaking hilarious. But she did a video that Chris and I were dying over
- 1:26because it was a video where she talks about she gets the nighttime Zoomies or
- 1:32the bedtime Zoomies, where right when you get in bed, like all of
- 1:38a sudden, you get hit with all of this energy and you get super
- 1:42goofy. I do this. I've done this for years and makes Chris crazy
- 1:52and he talks about it all the time because I'll be like super tired all
- 1:56day, especially leading up to bedtime. The later it gets in the day,
- 2:00I'm like dying. But the second I take my makeup off and we
- 2:04get in bed, I'm like we I'm like super excited. And then I
- 2:07want to chat and I want to hang out and I want to look at
- 2:10my phone and I want to read and I want to play with Chris,
- 2:13and he's just like, dude, what where did this come from? Anyway,
- 2:19they did a funny video about that and it was spot on, so
- 2:22go find that. But anyway, the other night, I got the nighttime
- 2:24Zoomies and Chris, bless his heart, was trying to fall asleep and I
- 2:30was like, hey, hey, I'm like tapping on him and he rolls
- 2:35over. He's like what. I was like, We're gonna die and he
- 2:43was like this is your first day, Like what the hell is wrong with
- 2:50you? I was like, I don't know, but do you realize like
- 2:53and actually what I really said, I was like, do you realize that
- 2:58every second of every day, like this second, in this second, in
- 3:04this second, we are getting closer to dying. We are getting closer to
- 3:09our death day. And he was like, oh my god, help me,
- 3:15you know, but I don't know what it is. Like. I
- 3:20know, part of its having kids, you know, because when you have
- 3:23kids, you see how fast they grow and it is a trip, right,
- 3:28all of a sudden, I have like a five and a half and
- 3:30a one year old, and it makes like it makes no sense in my
- 3:34mind. I've just had no children and now I have like like whole ass
- 3:38children. So that's part of it. Like that just like warps your time
- 3:45and your perspective of time. And then you know, I'm in my mid
- 3:50thirties, which is so weird. I'm like the wrong I'm on the wrong
- 3:53side of thirty or the right side of thirty. I used to think it's
- 3:55the wrong. Now I'm switching my mind set. It's the right, skip
- 4:00the better and better. I'm not even in my prime, okay, but
- 4:02like that's a part of it. I don't know, like I think the
- 4:08state of the world and all that's going on. You know. The other
- 4:12day, I don't know when this podcast is going live, but I did
- 4:15a podcast, which one was it. I talked a lot of shit in
- 4:20it. Oh, it was that your mind is either creating or destroying you.
- 4:25But in the beginning of that podcast, I talked about how like I
- 4:28was sad lately, or there was a couple of weeks there where I was
- 4:31just really sad, you know, I just kind of talked about it and
- 4:35I kind of glazed over. But one of the big reasons that I was
- 4:41sad specifically around that time is because that's when all of the crazy, awful
- 4:47attacks on Israel was popping off, and the you know, just the innocent
- 4:51people of Israel and Palestine, and it's just it's so devastating and heartbreaking,
- 4:58and that's just one part of the world. And you know what I mean,
- 5:00we could go on and on, and I don't know, I just
- 5:04think it's a culmination of all of these things that just kind of freaks me
- 5:11out a little bit, not to mention the years are going by so much
- 5:15faster. And by the way, that's scientific. I don't know if you
- 5:19know this, but like the older you get, because you've been on the
- 5:23Earth longer, now, your perspective of a year is a lot different than
- 5:28somebody younger than you. Right when you're young, a year feels so long
- 5:30because you've only been on the planet for a short period of time. But
- 5:35the longer you've been on a planet, your perspective changes. So the years
- 5:40just seem to be flying by. I mean the fact that we're we're about
- 5:44to be in Christmas time. And Chris the other day we were talking about
- 5:48Halloween. He was like, I'm about to have to put up the Christmas
- 5:53lights on the banister of the stairs. He was like, I literally just
- 5:57took those down. I was like, no, you literally just took those
- 6:00down. How is it already Christmas again? So can you tell? I'm
- 6:05just like, what is life? What is life? Oh? My gosh?
- 6:13And am I doing it right? Right? What are we doing?
- 6:18Why are we doing this? I promise you I'm not gonna like have a
- 6:23panic attack on this spot. I have things to talk about, I've got
- 6:27notes, Okay, so I'm gonna stay focused. But I guess I've just
- 6:33been more hyper aware of what is this all for? Right? Like?
- 6:44Am I this is what I'm focusing on right right now? Like does it
- 6:47even matter? You know? And this is this is a slippery slope.
- 6:54You know, this could go into a downward spiral really fast, because even
- 6:58from the angle of this conversation, we kind of assume that we'll be here
- 7:03on average seventy eighty seventy god eighty ninety years, right, we assume that,
- 7:11but we don't know that. We don't know that, right, So
- 7:15like when you really start to realize, holy crap, I could be game
- 7:19over next week, that's when you really start tripping. Okay, But at
- 7:25the same time, isn't that such an interesting angle to also look at your
- 7:30life? Right? Like you know, people say, like live like you're
- 7:33dying. If this was your last day on Earth, what would you focus
- 7:38on? What would be the things that And I don't even think that's a
- 7:43really good way to do it, because obviously, if this was your last
- 7:45day or Earth, your last week on earth, you'd be with your family,
- 7:48you'd be maybe you know, Scydaven like that stupid song or who knows.
- 7:56Okay, But realistically, I think like a better way to look at
- 8:00it is, you know, if this was I think we don't even have
- 8:05to get morbid. We don't have to say like if this was your last
- 8:07ten years, because even then. But I think we can think about this
- 8:11from a healthy perspective of if we were just to keep the perspective of our
- 8:20time is ticking, Our time is finite. We are not going to be
- 8:24here forever. Okay, if you believe in reincarnation, you'll come back,
- 8:30but it ain't going to be the same game. And you know, if
- 8:33you don't, then it's done. So it's ticking based on that, which
- 8:43is very easy to forget. What's up? What are we doing here?
- 8:52And how I think about this myself is again trying to put it in perspective
- 8:58of like does this actually matter in the grand scheme? Is this worth my
- 9:05time and energy? Almost like a new filter to run things through, you
- 9:11know, And now I have like a new perspective, an appreciation for you
- 9:18know, like your best hell yes, or only saying things that are like
- 9:22genuine hell yes, versus you know, trying to people please and saying yes
- 9:26to everything or whatever. Like I feel like the older you get, that's
- 9:31one of the perks is hopefully you begin to care a little less about what
- 9:35other people think. And maybe if you have people pleasing tendencies, that tends
- 9:41to kind of shift and go down a little bit. Because I think the
- 9:45reason why is because you realize the value of your most precious commodity, which
- 9:52is your time. So I wanted to bring this here for a couple of
- 9:58reasons. I want to talk about this through the angle of your business and
- 10:03your passion and your purpose work, but then also in the perspective of your
- 10:09time too, because we live in this really cool moment of time where the
- 10:18possibilities and the opportunities are nearly endless. Depending on where you are in the
- 10:24world, we have a lot of opportunity. We have a lot of different
- 10:28avenues and tools and paths. You know, I say all the time,
- 10:35you can put any point on the map, like any place that you want
- 10:39to get to from the perspective of a career, put it on the map.
- 10:46There are ten plus paths to get there, Like there are so many
- 10:50options for us if you have a general vague idea of what it is that
- 10:56you want to do, so many options, right, But with that I
- 11:01do believe comes with a lot of confusion and a lot of opportunity to waste
- 11:05a lot of time. And I realized too that this is almost like this
- 11:13conversation is very controlling, This is very like, I don't know a little
- 11:22too in the mind, because I know a lot of people would argue,
- 11:26like, yeah, that the point is to live life and to make mistakes
- 11:30and just just kind of flow and not overthink it. And I think that
- 11:35absolutely you're you're correct, But also this is a different day and age where
- 11:39there's a lot more noise and there's a lot more opportunities to end up.
- 11:46I mean, I know there's no like technically right or wrong path, but
- 11:52just end up prioritizing things that you normally wouldn't right, like if you were
- 11:56at the end of your life and you're like, man, a kind of
- 11:58way, I didn't focus so much on that specific thing, and I just
- 12:03went to the part that I that I actually was passionate about. You know,
- 12:07So anyway, let's talk about this through the angle of our businesses.
- 12:15And what it is that we're here to do our purpose. So this podcast
- 12:20is called all in with Ali okay, because I truly believe in getting clear
- 12:31or doing things so that you can get clear on what it is that you
- 12:35want to do and then you do it with your whole asshoart, you go
- 12:39quote all in on it. You know, that's like what it is that
- 12:43we're doing here. Also, the other angle of that is as women,
- 12:50we're very dynamic. We don't just have one passion, we don't just have
- 12:54one priority. We can do multiple things very very well. And we also
- 12:58live in a moment of time where we have those opportunities where we have tools,
- 13:03where we have or it's appropriate to have teams and nannies and all the
- 13:07things so that we can be bosses in an office for a little bit,
- 13:11and then we can be home with our kids and then we can you know,
- 13:15be with our partners, and we can travel the world and we can
- 13:18work from here, and we can work from there and and focus on this
- 13:22business and then move over and focus on this hobby. Right, we can
- 13:26do all of that. So when we're thinking about this and you know this
- 13:33perspective of like am I I don't want to keep saying, am I doing
- 13:37it right? But am I? If I? If I really knew how
- 13:45limited my time was, is this what I would be doing? That might
- 13:48be I think that's a better way to say it. If I knew just
- 13:56how limited my time was on this planet, Is this what I would be
- 14:03doing? Is this how I would be doing it? Is this who I
- 14:09would be doing it with? I think these are really powerful questions to ask
- 14:16yourself, because I get a lot of questions or comments from people who say
- 14:24a lot I want to do that, but I'm scared. I want to
- 14:31do that thing, but the fear gets in my way. What if it
- 14:39doesn't work, what if it doesn't whatever? And it's like you're scared of
- 14:45what You're scared of it not working. But have you considered how you're going
- 14:50to feel in a few years again, if you really knew how limited your
- 14:56time was when you never gave it a shot, what is scarier to you?
- 15:05So some of the biggest year in the year that I saw, I
- 15:09don't know if it was the most growth, but a big, big,
- 15:13big shift and burst of momentum in terms of growth in my business was from
- 15:26the year that I technically started this business in twenty eighteen to twenty nineteen,
- 15:33because in twenty eighteen, actually in twenty seventeen, I knew that I wanted
- 15:37to start the business that I have now, right, But there were a
- 15:41lot of things that I was scared of, and there was a lot of
- 15:46things that I was confused about, and I felt like I wasn't prepared for
- 15:50I didn't know the answer for. So I was like really kind of freaked
- 15:52out and tripped up on a lot of things. So two eighteen comes I
- 16:00started the business, which okay, we got started, but that whole year,
- 16:07nearly nearly that whole year, I spent it planning. I spent it
- 16:17posting on social kind of, but I never made an offer. I you
- 16:25know, I did some things, but like a lot of the things that
- 16:29I that I knew that I really needed to do that would actually move the
- 16:33needle and get me somewhere, like for example, creating content with video,
- 16:37because that's when video was like really popping off. But I had, believe
- 16:41it or not, a serious fear of video. I hated the way that
- 16:45I looked in video, I hated the way that I sounded in video.
- 16:48I just tore myself apart, and every time I would create video, I
- 16:55just would damn near cry, sometimes genuinely cry because I was like, I
- 17:00can't put this out there, like this is so bad. I couldn't speak
- 17:03to save my life. I barely knew what I was talking about, or
- 17:07I at least didn't know how to articulate it. So I drug my feet
- 17:11there, drugged my feet on, like you know, So I wasted pretty
- 17:15much a year. Now, at the end of the year, I finally
- 17:18got my head out of my ass. I put out an offer, I
- 17:22launched something okay, and we ended up negative five K in revenue because I
- 17:26didn't even try and start selling until September of that year. And then,
- 17:32you know, that's when I actually started learning things. But by then it's
- 17:36the end of the year, right, And I got to the end of
- 17:38twenty eighteen, and it was like New Year's Eve of twenty eighteen, and
- 17:44that's when you reflect, right, That's when you reflect on how the past
- 17:48year is gone. And I remember thinking to myself, wow, it's already
- 17:52been a year. I remember New Year's Eve of twenty seventeen, how excited
- 17:59I was to start my business, and I remember like the vision of how
- 18:03far I would be in a year, and my hopes and dreams for finally
- 18:10getting this business off the ground, and again just like how much I would
- 18:15learn and how much growth would happen. But I had this awareness. I
- 18:21was like, I've barely moved. It's been a year, and I'm pretty
- 18:26much right where I left myself a year ago. And that scared the ever
- 18:33living shit out of me. It just something about that freaked me out,
- 18:41and I was like, oh, I'm not doing that again. What a
- 18:45waste? What a waste of a year? Now again we can look at
- 18:51this and from so many angles and like, is it actually waste? No,
- 18:55It's not a waste. Okay, that's not what I'm saying. But
- 18:57also I had a level of respect. I took a level of responsibility,
- 19:03and I knew I could have done more. I knew that that a big
- 19:07reason why I hadn't moved more and gotten further along and helped more people and
- 19:11done the thing that I really wanted to do that year is because of fear,
- 19:17because of confusion, because of uncertainty, instead of moving forward anyway and
- 19:22figuring it out, which is how you actually learn. I barely did that,
- 19:30and I made it out of myself that I would never experience that again.
- 19:33I would never get to the end of a year and be like that
- 19:37was that was a waste because of fear, specifically because of fear right,
- 19:44And like, I want us to take that and kind of zoom out on
- 19:48the perspective of our life. That's what I would like to do. Because
- 19:55the amount of people that again come to me and mention fear in the same
- 20:04sentence of their business, It's like, I get it, But what is
- 20:10more scary to you? Is it so scary that you move forward on this
- 20:17thing that you say you actually want to do that would actually be, you
- 20:22know, something that you could pour passion into that you would enjoy doing,
- 20:27that you would enjoy serving people in this way that would give you purpose.
- 20:33Would it be so bad that you actually go for it? And if you
- 20:38don't get the results that you thought in the first year or in the first
- 20:42few months, is that so bad? Who doesn't have that story? By
- 20:48the way, how many times have I told the stories of my failures on
- 20:52this podcast? That's part of it. That's where you learn it get like
- 21:00how you go through it is you go through it. There's no shortcut to
- 21:04that, right, So like it always like the way that I put in
- 21:08perspective is like, but what if you don't do it? What is more
- 21:15scary to you doing it and it not working out the way that you think,
- 21:21or not doing it at all and realizing it's been another year, another
- 21:25five years, another fifty years, because at some point time will be up
- 21:37and it's never too late to start. I genuinely believe that. So if
- 21:44you're listening to this and you're like, oh my gosh, this has been
- 21:48me the past ten years, I'm screwed. No you're not, because if
- 21:52you're listening to this, that means there's still more time. So move sister,
- 21:59Let's go and you know, and use that as fuel to move forward.
- 22:07And this is I realized there are a lot of you who have gotten
- 22:10started on your business. You're not scared to not start. You're already in
- 22:14this thing. But what is it that you're scared of? Are you doing
- 22:19your business in a way? Are you playing at the level that you would
- 22:25be proud of? For example, last year, actually shared this in an
- 22:32email recently, but last year, when I was pregnant with RHTT, it
- 22:38was a big growth here for me, and I had a big goal to
- 22:41prepare for my membership because I knew that I wanted to start scaling my business.
- 22:48So one of the ways that I wanted to do that was to launch
- 22:51a membership. But before I launched the membership, I wanted to make sure
- 22:53I had a good library of offers ready to go and created so that when
- 23:02I talked about the membership, one of the perks is you get in and
- 23:04you get instant access to this beautiful library of programs. So that's what I
- 23:10did. And in addition to launching and creating so many programs last last year,
- 23:17I was just a selling machine. I had so much energy. I
- 23:21was fortunate, I had a great pregnancy. I felt amazing, and I
- 23:26was just on one where I was just hustling and crushing it and it led
- 23:33me to my highest revenue month to date. It was July of twenty twenty
- 23:41two, and we hit over one hundred and twenty something in revenue that month,
- 23:47and then the month after that it was like ninety something, like close
- 23:52to another six figure month, And it was amazing, right, like such
- 23:59a huge mind milestone. Something I was so proud of. As a matter
- 24:03of fact, all of last year, it was just milestone after milestone of
- 24:07like these massive revenue months and massive moments of impact. You know, I
- 24:17served a ton of people. I taught and coached a ton of people last
- 24:19year, and I'm really, really really proud of that. But right after
- 24:26that, I had my second child, and things changed. Right Like before,
- 24:37Cruz was, you know, going to school some of the week,
- 24:40and he had a nanny, and he's a little bit older so he can
- 24:42kind of like do his thing, and it's good for him to have some
- 24:48space for me and Chris, So it's it's perfect. I could dive into
- 24:51work during the day and then see him, you know, throughout the day
- 24:55and at night and on the weekends. And it was beautiful. And then
- 24:59right came along and this beautiful little boy who needs his mommy, and things
- 25:06changed. And the cool thing about twenty twenty two was that it brought in
- 25:14a ton of revenue, but at the expense of a ton of my time,
- 25:21like a lot of my time. And I mentioned to you that the
- 25:25whole goal was to prepare to start scaling, right, Like, my big
- 25:29goal in twenty twenty two was to kind of slow down to speed up,
- 25:33so to speak, so that in twenty twenty three I could create these more
- 25:37scalable offers. And we did that. But after those months and once I
- 25:45had ret and once I kind of like slowed down and I kind of had
- 25:49you know, I mean postpartum, and then you know, as you know,
- 25:52lost my mom. Right after that, hit this big wall. All
- 25:56of a sudden, my energy goes from through the room to non existent.
- 26:03And once I got back into business mode again a couple of months after having
- 26:07REHT, it was like, I not only can I not do that again
- 26:14at that level, like what I just did, the hustling, the selling,
- 26:19all of my time, the back to back launches, the layered launches,
- 26:23not to say I'll never do it again, but like like, not
- 26:26only do I not have the capacity to do that again right now, but
- 26:32I don't want to. You know, Like money's cool, but have you
- 26:38felt time freedom? You know what I'm saying, Like, there's there are
- 26:45times where your priorities shift. And also there are different seasons, so I'm
- 26:52sure there will be another season where HT gets a little bit older, or
- 26:56when they both are older and they're both like not as attached to us and
- 27:00they'd much rather be with their friends, and you know, I can't pay
- 27:03them to hang out with me. So then it's like, Okay, I'm
- 27:04gonna focus, and that would be like a great season to get back in
- 27:07and do to hit it hard. Different seasons for everything, but for now,
- 27:12you know, I had to ask myself that question, like is this
- 27:15the way that I want to do? This? Is the money worth it?
- 27:21And to me the answer was very clearly no. Now that hasn't been
- 27:25easy because I haven't hit I haven't. I've made a conscious decision to not
- 27:32push as hard and to not grind so much and you know, burn the
- 27:37candle at both ends, and revenue hasn't been as high as I'm typically used
- 27:45to, so it's been a trade off. But the you know, a
- 27:49good thing is it's like, okay, how do we remedy this? We
- 27:53continue to scale and we continue to put systems in place that will allow me
- 27:57to continue to compound and earned passively, which is what we're doing, which
- 28:02is what we've talked about. That's why Brie and I partnered together to create
- 28:07a passive social sales which we'll link that in the show notes. If you
- 28:11want to grab that and learn the way to do this, you know.
- 28:15But it's like that that was a moment for me where and a thing for
- 28:19me that was like, Okay, my time is ticking, my babies are
- 28:26getting older, I'm getting older. Is this what I want to be doing
- 28:30in this way? In this way? How can I be doing this that
- 28:38is a better representation of my priorities. So I had to make that change,
- 28:45and you know, and there's a short term loss, I guess if
- 28:49you you know, maybe depending depending on your business. But for me,
- 28:52it looked like a short term monetary loss when I made that shift. And
- 28:56it's okay because in the meantime, I've had so much more time to be
- 29:04present with my kids and you know, to take days off and do what
- 29:08I need to do. And I wouldn't trade that for the world. So
- 29:12if your issue isn't getting started or getting started on the thing, then I
- 29:18would reflect on if you were really cognizant of your time being limited, would
- 29:25you be running your business in the way that you're running it currently. I
- 29:27think it's a very and we want to ask ourselves that question all the time,
- 29:32even if we're not looking at it through the morbid lens of, Hi,
- 29:36You're going to die. We always want to be checking in with like,
- 29:40Okay, is this on par and reflective of what I'm prioritizing? You
- 29:47know, Like what am I spending the most time doing each week? Is
- 29:49that reflective of my values? Is it something we always want to ask ourselves.
- 29:56Okay, So how I'm navigating this myself through my own little existential crisis
- 30:07is I'm just, I guess, like using this as a filter for the
- 30:15things that I'm saying yes to, the people that I'm spending time with,
- 30:19the things that I'm creating in the world, the things that I allow to
- 30:25take my time, and I'm funneling it through the lens of is this is
- 30:30this worth it? You know? Like, when I'm on my deathbed,
- 30:36am I going to be glad that I did this? Or if I'm or
- 30:37am I going to be like? What the frick? Why did I Why
- 30:41did I allow myself to be pressured into that? When in the grand scheme
- 30:45it just doesn't matter, or you know, I was people pleasing or you
- 30:52know, had my priorities messed up or whatever. So every day, to
- 30:57the best of my ability, I try really really hard to make sure that
- 31:03I am being mindful of three areas three to four areas. Number one,
- 31:15the big priorities, right, which would be my health and my family.
- 31:19If I ain't healthy, then that time's really ticking, okay, So that's
- 31:23a big priority of mine. And also obviously my boys and my husband my
- 31:30numero unos Okay, So that's number one. The second area is spiritual connection,
- 31:38my connection with the divine, my connection to spirit. This keeps me
- 31:42sane, keeps my mind right, keeps my perspective sunny, and serving me.
- 31:48And then the third area is my purpose, work, my legacy,
- 31:53you know what lights me up. No matter what I'm going to work,
- 32:00I'm you know, I'm obsessed with my business. So being able to serve
- 32:05you with the podcast, with my business, with you know whatever, my
- 32:09my priorities and my responsibilities are through that, those are the areas that I'm
- 32:15just to the best of my ability. If I am prioritizing those areas,
- 32:22then I feel like I'm doing a pretty good job in the grand scheme.
- 32:28In the grand scheme. But still even in that there's still things, you
- 32:37know, like like Chris and I, for example, we're like do we
- 32:40We're like asking ourselves. Do we you know, do we want to live
- 32:44here? And this is one of the reasons why we homeschoold one of them
- 32:49anyway, because we're like, okay, we both work remotely. Why are
- 32:52we keeping ourselves tied to one place? So, you know, and I've
- 32:59talked about that. I've talked about us potentially moving but with the market right
- 33:02now, that ain't happening, and that's okay, you know, but we're
- 33:06leaving. These are these are more questions that are asked that we're asking ourselves.
- 33:09There's like the immediate home priorities, but then there's like a bigger picture,
- 33:15how do we want to live our life like as a unit with these
- 33:20boys? What does that look like? Do we want to live at the
- 33:24conventional way where we live in you know, the house in the neighborhood and
- 33:30eventually the kids go to the school and we you know, we do the
- 33:34same thing every single day and we have our roots or not, you know,
- 33:40like like that's a big question, or do you do we travel or
- 33:43whatever? So we're we don't know the answer to that. But these are
- 33:46just more questions that we're that we're navigating and just being mindful of, right
- 33:52not letting them get pushed to the back burner where they never get seen again.
- 33:57And then again you have five years goes by and it's like, we
- 34:00hate where we live. Why are we still here? Right? Just things
- 34:05that think about. It's so easy to get distracted. That's another thing,
- 34:10Like, yes, we live in a day and age where we have so
- 34:13many opportunities, we have so many options available to us, and we're also
- 34:19more distracted than ever. It's so easy to like, for a second,
- 34:24have a moment of clarity and say, Hi, we're gonna die, how
- 34:28do we want to live? And then ooh did you see what so and
- 34:30so is doing? And oh I need to you know whatever? Like it?
- 34:35We all do it, and it's fine. It's fine, Like we
- 34:38don't need to be stressed the f out all day on how we're living our
- 34:43lives and be morbidly aware that our time's ticking. That's what I'm saying at
- 34:51all. But also don't get so distracted to where you're not asking yourselves these
- 34:57questions and checking in with yourself. So I'm gonna end this with a few
- 35:01things I think we all can be more mindful about. If this is resonating
- 35:07with you and if you're like, Okay, I probably could do a better
- 35:10job in some areas. Okay, So these are some areas that I am
- 35:15personally being more intentional and mindful of when I'm filtering my decisions through this specific
- 35:24lens. Number one time wasters. This is a big one. Our distractions,
- 35:31right obviously, the freaking phone, social media, even TV. Okay,
- 35:38we can waste our whole freaking life living somebody else's being excited about living
- 35:46somebody else's. I get annoyed with myself sometimes because all like, if it's
- 35:53a Tuesday night and one of my shows isn't on, like one of my
- 35:58Housewives isn't on, I'm like, oh man, boring, can't wait till
- 36:05it's Thursday because of a show? It's like, ew, what a loser?
- 36:12Like? And I'm joking, but also it's kinda I mean, yes,
- 36:20there's something to be said for turning it off, shutting it down,
- 36:23and some mindless activity. We all need it, right when you're when you're
- 36:29working hard and you've got kids, Like, yes, it's so nice just
- 36:32to like tune into somebody else's drama and I really like, listen, I'll
- 36:37die on the hill. I think we all need it, and I think
- 36:38it's I think it's healthy. But also there's that fine line between like healthy
- 36:46moments of detachment and like lighthearted, you know, mindless activity at the end
- 36:52of the day and that being your source of pure entertainment and not just entertainment
- 37:00but like rush excitement, what you look forward to if what if you if
- 37:10the most exciting thing that happens in your week is watching somebody else on a
- 37:17screen or tuning into somebody else's life on a screen. We have an issue
- 37:23not saying just one week, okay, I'm saying like, you know what
- 37:28I'm saying, and it's really easy to fall into that trap. And you
- 37:32know I talked about this and the your mind is either creating you or destroying
- 37:37you. Episode that like people let their whole lives pass them by because they're
- 37:43getting you know, they're they're getting all of their excitement and endorphins from from
- 37:50tuning into somebody else's exciting life. Somebody else is pursuing their dream and it's
- 37:57like, yeah, you know that, I'm going to cheer for that.
- 38:00Not saying we all have to go for fame or something really big, and
- 38:02not saying that we can't just exist. But I'm just saying, like,
- 38:07make sure you're doing that for yourself too, not just getting off watching somebody
- 38:12else do it, is all I'm saying. Okay, so we got to
- 38:15watch out and be mindful of those time wasters. We got to watch out
- 38:19and be mindful of the energy suckers. People, places, activities that you're
- 38:24saying yes to for what? Ask yourself the question, why am I hanging
- 38:30out with this person? Why am I saying yes to this? Why am
- 38:32I doing this? Because I think I should? Because I feel guilty if
- 38:37I didn't, because I always have, and like it be weird if I
- 38:39didn't anymore? Why pay attention to that. Fear is another thing we want
- 38:46to be mindful about. We kind of touched, We already touched on that,
- 38:51so we don't need to go deep. But like fear of what what's
- 38:54scarier failing in it, not going the way that you've thought, or not
- 39:00doing it at all, and then and then you're not even taking into account
- 39:04the fact that it could actually work too. That's the crazy thing, Like
- 39:08what if it actually works? Would that be scary? How would you feel
- 39:13about that? We want to be mindful about romanticizing too much into the future.
- 39:20This is where it's like I used to be the queen of this,
- 39:24right. I can't wait till it's Thursday because Southern charm and I feel good
- 39:30about drinking, or you know, looking forward to Friday, or looking forward
- 39:37to the weekend, looking forward to Halloween, looking forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas
- 39:42season, and then looking forward to spring, and like we can look forward
- 39:45to it, but not at the expense of the present moment. That's what
- 39:51I was doing. I was like, it was always something in the future.
- 39:54I'd be like, oh, I can't wait for fall where I can
- 39:57wear all my fall clothes and then it's chilly and like spooky season. And
- 40:00then that season would get there and it's like, uh, okay, the
- 40:05holidays are coming, yay. And then that would come and be like,
- 40:07ah, winter, man, I can't wait till it's warm again. And
- 40:10it's like, you know, and we do this with our businesses of course,
- 40:15too, where we romanticize that future goal. When I just get to
- 40:20this many followers, when I just get to this much in revenue, when
- 40:22I just get that brand deal, that client, and then it happens,
- 40:29and then it's like when I just get to that next business goal and that
- 40:34next client, and we like never stay in the moment with the thing.
- 40:38And it's so sick, but it's so easy to do. So watch that
- 40:45because life is happening now, you change your things, you do the things
- 40:49from the moment of now. Everything happens now. Okay, we're not going
- 40:52to go deep on time, but check that out or check that. Romanticize
- 41:00using too much of the future. Same thing with the past, romanticizing the
- 41:05past, overthinking the past, giving too much meaning to the past, not
- 41:09saying that we have to pretend that something didn't happen. But don't dictate every
- 41:16decision that you made or every thought that you have of yourself and what you're
- 41:21capable of based on something that's that's already gone, that literally doesn't exist anymore.
- 41:28You gotta be careful about that too. You see a lot of people
- 41:30do this one thing happens in their life and it's like that's the meaning of
- 41:34their life now because of that one thing. And it's like, okay,
- 41:39that that doesn't have to make you if you want it to, you can.
- 41:45But we got what about now, what do you want to do?
- 41:47Now? Who do you want to be now and then finally, we want
- 41:53to be mindful about putting important things off those priorities people that really matter to
- 42:00us. And you hear I mean we all say this, We all hear
- 42:05this right, Like call a friend, now, send the text, now,
- 42:07give the hug, Now, forgive the person. Now go do the
- 42:13thing. Now, start the business now. And it's real, man.
- 42:19All it takes is to lose one person very close to you that you're like,
- 42:22Frick puts things in perspective, doesn't it. But like, we don't
- 42:30have to lose people to appreciate the ones that are here now. We don't
- 42:35have to let our life go by or a year go buy to start doing
- 42:38the thing that we prioritize, or that we want to prioritize, or that's
- 42:42important to us. Now, we don't have to ruin relationships to prioritize the
- 42:45people that are important to us. Now. It's just really really easy to
- 42:49say, I'll do that tomorrow, I'll do that next week. This is
- 42:52hard, I'll start okay, next month, Okay, when the kids are
- 42:54this old, when the market looks like this, when so and so is
- 43:01president, then then I'll start that business. And it's like girl, you're
- 43:08putting a lot of faith in the fact you're going to live till ninety five
- 43:14and godwelling, godwelling for us all. But it's not promised. So do
- 43:24it now if you can. Okay anyway, Oh what an episode. I
- 43:37hope you like this. If you did, I'd love if you left me
- 43:38a review on iTunes. Five stars would be lovely. If you don't like
- 43:43this, then don't worry at all. Just like, keep it to yourself.
- 43:45I respect you, but you don't have to listen anymore. Post this
- 43:52on Instagram. I will share it, screenshot it, I'll share my stories,
- 43:55and yeah, I hope this served you. I love you and I
- 44:00will see you here next week. Bye.