Latest / The Psychic Explorer / Comparison is the Thief of Joy 🔮

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Comparison is the Thief of Joy 🔮 · The Psychic Explorer

0:16
Hello you wonderful explorers. Welcome to March's
0:20
episode of the Psychic Explorer. How are you?
0:25
I am coming to you from a very cozy back bedroom.
0:30
Spring has finally sprung, the daffodils are
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out and the sun has been shining. My bones are
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warming with the season. It's wonderful. But
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we're still in that time of year where the evenings
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are cold and chilly, and I'm at home, central
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heating is on, and I'm in my back bedroom, aka
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my makeshift recording studio. I am warm, I am
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cozy, I am comfy, I'm trying not to move around
0:56
in my chair too much because it creeps, but I
1:00
am cozy. You know what? For the first time in
1:04
so long, I feel really comfortable. Today's episode
1:10
I am changing gears. For me March is the proper
1:18
new year. I said back in January on the New Year's
1:22
Day episode that for me the pressure to have
1:26
some sort of resolution or to see it as a brand
1:30
new start but to start something new in the middle
1:33
of winter is just so alien to me. That now As
1:39
we approach proper spring, mid spring, things
1:43
are opening, things are being released, things
1:45
are being realized. And that's exactly how I
1:49
feel. Today's episode, fellow explorers, is all
1:53
about authenticity. And I have a genuine question
1:56
I'd like to ask you. When you show up in your
2:00
life, whether that be talking to your neighbors,
2:03
whether that be talking to your family, whether
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that be in your mediumship if you practice, But
2:07
ignore it every day. How authentic are you? I'm
2:13
going to ask that again and just leave that there
2:15
with you just for a moment or two, just so you
2:17
can think about it. And this is not a judgment
2:19
question at all. It's a genuine, genuine question.
2:23
How authentic are you? How much do you show the
2:29
real you to the people you interact with? And
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actually, as I asked that question, let's take
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it a step further. How authentic are you to yourself?
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How much do you put a mask on? How much do you
2:44
do, say or even think things that you should
2:48
do, say or think because other people think that
2:52
you should do, say or think those things. This
2:59
is something that has been dawning on me for
3:02
a little while now about how authentic, the idea
3:07
of, not even the idea, the question, how authentic
3:12
am I? How do I show up? And before I answer that
3:16
question to you, I need to remind you why I started
3:20
this podcast. This podcast started to show you
3:24
a genuine journey through developing their mediumship
3:28
or their psychism, what it really looks like,
3:31
what it really sounds like to walk. day by day
3:35
along this path, following the breadcrumbs of
3:39
mysticism, of magic and philosophy. I wanted
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to demonstrate to you, you dear listeners, the
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realities of self -doubt, the highs of getting
3:52
things right, the lows of getting things wrong,
3:55
and not in a filtered way, not in a curated Instagram
4:00
ready package. the raw and the vulnerable, together
4:04
with the wonder and the excitement. And just
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recently, the past couple of months, I have not
4:12
been enjoying it. I have been trying to chase
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something which I always said I would never try
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and chase. And I find that I yo -yo, I oscillate
4:24
between these two, wanting it to just unfold
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naturally. And I'll talk about what it is in
4:30
a moment. but allowing it to unfold naturally.
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And the pressure, I pause then to try and think
4:37
of the word, but pressure, and this is certainly
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a pressure that I put on myself, it's not coming
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from anywhere else, of wanting it to look a certain
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way, of wanting it to perform, to behave in a
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certain way. And that it is not only my mediumship,
4:53
but it's also how I show up in the online world,
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it's how I show up in this podcast. And I have
4:59
to be honest with myself. When I asked myself,
5:01
have I been authentic? I look back and I think
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these episodes have morphed into something different
5:08
than I had intended. The phrase comparison is
5:12
the thief of joy was introduced to me a couple
5:15
of years ago. I know I may have been late to
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the party on that one. Nicola, my face to face
5:20
circle leader, she told me this on day one. She
5:23
said, comparison is the thief of joy. And I have
5:28
been comparing myself. and I felt that my joy
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has been stolen. I've been getting myself bogged
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down with chasing numbers, chasing algorithms,
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showing up in places where I feel really uncomfortable.
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You may have seen on my Instagram recently that
5:45
I was putting posts up saying, if you want more
5:47
of this, say yes, or let me know what you want
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more of. Do you want to see more of my face or
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do you want to see different content? And I was
5:56
putting it out there. Why was I putting out that?
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I was putting that sort of content out because
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I was so caught up in what I thought Instagram
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wanted me to be. I look at other mediums and
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I see that they put amazing natural content out
6:19
there. I look at somebody who I've interviewed
6:21
recently who's coming up on the podcast in May.
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And Kelsey Anderson produces these videos, these
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reels, and she is such a natural at them. She
6:30
is so good at them. The content she puts out
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is wonderful. And I can only aspire to be as
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natural, as clean, as concise as she is. And
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I've got myself into such a muddle because I
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try to do that. I try to video myself. I try
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to put more content out there. And against my
6:52
better judgment, I fell flat on my face. Now,
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when I say flat on my face, I don't mean that
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it failed miserably. I mean, it did. I put so
7:07
much effort into these little videos. Just bear
7:10
with me on this one. This is not a social media
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rant, I promise. This is something relevant to
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my journey, my story. but I was filming myself
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and I was trying to clip up videos together and
7:23
make this slick production that was taking me
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hours and I mean like four or five hours to put
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I don't know a 20 30 second video together it
7:34
was ridiculous because when I do this I freeze
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I said this to you before that for a half hour
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episode, like the raw audio is like an hour and
7:46
a half because there are so many pauses, there
7:48
are so many gaps, there's so many repetitions,
7:51
because I want to get it right. And I can almost
7:53
get away with it on audio. On a podcast, I can
7:55
almost get away with it. Hopefully you can't
7:58
tell too much where I'm making the cuts. But
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on video, it's so obvious and I get so in my
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head about it. And not only that, but I can't
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bear. Looking at myself on video. It's I find
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it so incredibly cringe I find that I beat myself
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up Unrelentingly to such a point where I actually
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feel sick with self loathing I know that's extreme.
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I know that's harsh, but Honestly, it's like
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I just cannot bear how I look. I cannot bear
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how I sound. And to put that out into the world,
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because what I have perceived is what I should
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be doing, because that's what everyone else is
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doing, because that's how you grow your channel,
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I felt like I was a slave to it. I really felt
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slavish to the algorithm. I don't like using
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that word, but I do not use it lightly. I really
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did feel like I was logging myself on the altar
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of the algorithm. And it was unhealthy, you know,
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without repeating myself too much. It sent me
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on this self -fulfilling spiral of self -loathing.
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And it's funny because when I'm in that state,
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I can't see the wood for the trees. I can't look
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at it objectively and tell myself, and coach
9:19
myself rather. out of it. I'm in it, I'm in it,
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I'm in it and I am saying why am I not performing?
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Why am I not doing things properly? Why am I
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not doing things like everyone else is? Even
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with my episodes, I have listened back to a couple
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and I know the earlier ones are rough, I know
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they are, but I've listened to a couple and I
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think oh god I've got to re -record all the audio.
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I've got to re -record it because I've got to
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make it as perfect as I can. I've put out guest
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episodes and I've loved talking to all my guests,
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but I've noticed a theme. I am mimicking other
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podcasts where I'm asking guests to explain spirituality
10:01
or whatever it might be from their point of view.
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And that was not the point of this podcast. The
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point of this podcast is to explore journeys,
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is to explore people's mediumship. And that has
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been ticking away in the back of my mind that
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I have been veering from my path. I've been trying
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to follow. I've been trying to chase what other
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people do because I see it works for them. And
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of course, you know, we all have this ego within
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us. We all have this ego monster that lives within
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each of us. And that ego monster wants to be
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validated. That ego monster wants to be told
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that they're doing well, that they are liked.
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And in this day and age, one of the biggest ways
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of doing that is metrics. It's likes, it's shares,
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it's comments, it's this, that and the other.
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And boy, do I hate that. I do hate it. So I am
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making this promise to you now that going forward
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from today, if I sound slower, if I sound less
11:07
rushed, If I do not sound as engaging as everyone
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else who is on Spotify or who is on Apple Podcasts
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or who is on YouTube or wherever, and if that
11:18
is something that you want, please find them
11:21
because that is not me. I am a quiet, I am a
11:27
gentle, plodding, slow podcast. And I am going
11:33
to do my utmost to get back to the authentic
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me. when it comes to my guest episodes, I want
11:41
to focus on their journey. I want to focus on
11:44
their self -doubt. I want to focus on the things
11:47
that have mattered to them, because I'm pretty
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sure the things that matter to them are things
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that matter to you. I'm sat here in my back bedroom
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and I am thinking of the things to say. I've
12:03
got brief bullet points of the things I want
12:05
to cover. But other than that, I'm just sat here
12:08
with my eyes closed, and I'm just letting myself
12:10
just speak to you. And I'm asking myself, or
12:14
how does this all relate back to mediumship?
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How is this not just a filler episode where you
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don't really have anything to say about mediumship,
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instead you're just talking to the ether cathartically?
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Well, my dear listener, I asked you earlier on
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if you were authentic. And if you said you're
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not, then you know... absolutely well done bravo
12:38
you've been so bloody honest but if like me you
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struggle with trying to be someone that uh that
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you're not trying to be someone that you think
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you need to be in order to succeed i am here
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to tell you as much as i'm here to tell me that
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if people want loud if people want brash if people
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want in your face tip -top videos which Blair
13:03
music at them and Blair news articles at them
13:07
like that awful one that I put out a month or
13:10
two ago, then that is not me. That is not you.
13:15
You need to be you. There's that phrase from
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that film, that Kevin Costner film, build it
13:21
and they will come. I need to have faith that
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by me being me is going to attract like -minded
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people. And that is the same for mediumship.
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You know, since I've stepped on this journey
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of the past two and a half years or so, I've
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listened to the Tyler Henrys, I've listened to
13:38
the Teresa Caputo's, I've discovered David the
13:41
medium. I have come to admire and come to respect
13:46
and come to want to mimic these very impressive
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mediums who are at the top of their game. But
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that's not my mediumship. My mediumship is all
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about the feels. My mediumship is all about how
14:01
your loved ones felt. My mediumship is true to
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me just as yours is true to you and yours is
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true to those who are drawn to you. You know
14:13
that there are so many different people out there
14:16
with so many different gifts that there really
14:18
is someone for everyone. And sometimes people
14:22
might not like you. Sometimes people might step
14:25
away from you. You may not be, you will not be
14:28
for everyone. I am not for everyone. And that
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is absolutely fine. I've questioned myself because
14:37
I've not been doing a lot of mediumship reasoning.
14:39
I thought, oh, blimey, what can I talk about?
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Because I've got this podcast where I speak once
14:45
a month about my journey and once a month about
14:47
someone else's journey. And as I was thinking
14:49
about what to talk about today, I was thinking...
14:51
I've not done many readings. I've gone to Circle
14:55
for January and February, but in those two hours
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a week that I am there, I'm probably only reading,
15:00
I don't know, about half an hour, 45 minutes.
15:04
And that's not a lot when you think of all the
15:06
hours in the week. So actually, my resolution,
15:11
I think it was, was to practice, practice, practice.
15:15
But guess what, people? I'm human. I have a life.
15:19
And it's been busy. And that is good because
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that is what I'm here for. I'm here to live a
15:27
life. I'm here to be human. And when I shake
15:30
off this mortal coil, I will have all the time
15:33
in the world, quite literally, to be whatever
15:36
it is that I will be. But in this moment in time
15:39
now, I'm here to be human. And I'm also just
15:42
trying to find that balance between that sweet
15:45
spot between living my life and having one foot
15:48
in this world as well, but also being conscious
15:51
that I need some, I would like, you would like,
15:55
I'm sure you would appreciate me to talk about
15:57
something genuine and something valid for these
16:00
monthly conversations. And so in the spirit of
16:06
authenticity, in the spirit of genuine conversations,
16:10
I'm gonna keep this week's episode short. I know
16:14
it was late being released, I was taking my time
16:16
with what I was going to say, how I was going
16:19
to say it. And I really don't want to over -egg
16:23
the topic today because I'm sure that the topic
16:26
of authenticity resonates with you. If not directly
16:30
within you, yourself and your soul, then certainly
16:34
you will experience that from other people. Other
16:37
people's lack of authenticity, other people's
16:41
masking to be something that they are not. Know
16:45
that going forward in the Psychiexplorer, there
16:48
will be a shift, there will be a gear change.
16:51
And interestingly enough, my next guest episode,
16:55
the wonderful Anne -Marie Pisano, is exactly
16:58
where I want to re -guide the episodes to. Anne
17:04
-Marie Pisano's episode is an exploration of
17:08
her journey. It's interesting because I recorded
17:12
this back in the summer, and even before I'd
17:15
had this existential crisis of my ego, I recorded
17:20
it, and as I recorded it, I said on the introduction
17:23
that I wanted to take the episodes back to a
17:26
different place, to the place of exploration
17:29
of other people's journeys. And isn't it funny
17:32
how these things work out? Because I said that...
17:35
Completely subconsciously, I said that automatically
17:39
back in the summer, and the month that that episode
17:42
will be released, in a week or so's time, it
17:45
has come to pass. The realisation that where
17:49
I was going with these episodes was not necessarily
17:52
where I wanted it to go. Likewise, the episode
17:54
after that with the fantastic Natalie Lockett
17:58
is such a genuine conversation. It's just beautiful.
18:03
I can't wait for you to hear that one in April.
18:05
And then in May, as I said before, the very wise
18:08
Kelsey Anderson will be popping in in May. That
18:12
episode is more topic based around travel and
18:16
how travel can impact and influence spirituality.
18:19
I think it is such a genuine conversation. I
18:22
can't wait for you to hear that one. So the very
18:25
next three guest episodes are exactly where I
18:28
want to go back and isn't it funny how these
18:32
things just work out. In the Kelsey Allison episode
18:35
I was talking to her about my travels and you
18:38
know that I love to travel. I love to take my
18:40
microphone with me and record all the sounds
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I can in these far -flung places and even not
18:46
so far -flung, you know, Scotland a few hours
18:49
up the road from me. Well maybe a bit more than
18:51
a few but still you get my drift. Well, just
18:54
the other weekend I took my other half to Iceland.
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It was a three and a half hour flight from us
18:59
and my word, if you can go, if you have the opportunity
19:03
to go, I implore you, you must visit Iceland.
19:08
It is such a magical, such a special place. It
19:12
was a place to explore and it was a place to
19:14
explore new things in my physical life. In the
19:17
episode with Kelsey, we talk about how she finds
19:20
travel really spiritual. For me, it's more of
19:23
a physical thing. I love it. I absolutely love
19:26
the experience of traveling. But for me, it is
19:28
a more physical thing. For Kelsey, much more
19:31
spiritual. I have to admit, when I went to Iceland,
19:35
we were so busy. We were so on the go. Every
19:38
hour was crammed with getting to somewhere or
19:41
doing something or seeing places. Though I didn't
19:44
really give myself the opportunity to just stop
19:47
and absorb and tap in. Except for one beach,
19:53
Reynisfjara beach in southern Iceland next
19:56
to the town of Vik. Oh my word, this place is
20:01
just spiritual. There's nowhere else on the planet
20:04
that is spiritual this place is. We went and
20:07
it was blanketed in snow so the whole landscape
20:11
was surrounded by white mountains and the sea
20:14
was crashing in. blue skies above us and the
20:18
beach and the surrounding rock is jet black.
20:22
Black from the surrounding volcanic rock that
20:25
has been pummeled and exploded into tiny, tiny
20:29
pieces which almost make up sand but it's not
20:33
sand. It's fragmented lava rock which has exploded
20:38
into a billion pieces. and this jet black volcanic
20:42
lava sand glistens as the water rolls over it.
20:47
The contrast between the black sand, the white
20:50
snow and the white of the foam of the waves coming
20:53
in, the blue sky above us, it was just otherworldly
20:57
and there's no other way of describing it. I
21:00
was stood there on these rocks which stand in
21:03
the middle of the beach watching the waves roll
21:06
in feeling the rumble of it reverberate within
21:11
my body I had this calling to just be me to show
21:16
up be me to not be this hyper DJ -esque caricature
21:22
of a podcast presenter, which I worry that some
21:28
of my previous episodes have morphed into. To
21:33
just be me, to be gentle, to be calm, to be slow.
21:37
Like that beach, take its time and become something
21:42
magnificent. I hope that's not too grand a statement
21:48
for such a modest podcast. But yeah, I'm going
21:54
to leave you with the sounds of Reynisfjara
21:58
beach. And as I leave you with the sounds of
22:00
this incredible landscape, I want to ask you
22:03
again, are you being you? Are you self -imposing
22:07
pressure upon yourself? How authentic are you
22:13
when you show up? Take care guys. Bye