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How do narcissists react when you are expressing your emotions? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about how narcissists react when you want
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  to express yourself in an in an emotional way.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammond.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist.
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  And welcome to episode 978 of the Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  So this is my third episode in a row using the episode numbers.
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  How do y'all feel about that? Leave me some, drop me some
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  comments. 978 We're closing in on a on 1000.
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  If y'all say Lee, I don't like the episode numbers.
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  Just go. Just keep keep, keep it how you
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  used to do it and I'll do that. Y'all I'm asking for opinions.
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  Give me your opinion. I appreciate y'all.
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  Anyways, y'all but yeah. How do narcissists react when
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  you express yourself, when you want to express yourself, when
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  you want to tell them how you feel, when you're trying to tell
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  them how you feel about yourself and whatnot?
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  I'm not even how you feel about yourself.
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  You're trying to tell them how you feel about certain
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  situations when you're trying to tell them how you feel about
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  them, Especially when you're trying to tell them how you feel
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  about them. How do narcissists react?
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  I know a lot of people. I know y'all have some.
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  I know you. I know y'all been following me
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  long enough and I've been, you know, I noticed a lot of, y'all
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  follow me. Do you know?
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  I know y'all have y'all have some opinions on this topic and
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  what not. So a lot of narcissistic people,
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  when you try to express yourself emotionally, it really just
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  depends. Y'all because if those emotions
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  don't benefit the narcissist or types of person or whatever,
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  you're probably going to get a negative reaction.
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  They're probably going to react negatively to you, to your
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  emotional expression, because your negative, your your
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  negative emotions don't benefit them in any way, even sometimes
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  y'all and it's going to sound weird, even sometimes.
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  Your positive emotions don't benefit them.
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  Like the positive your your positive emotions don't benefit
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  them. If you're celebrating your own
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  success and you're happy and sad that you just got a promotion at
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  work and that narcissist is jealous of you, you're
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  expressing yourself. You're like, babe, I just got a
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  promotion. Woo babe.
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  I just graduated college. Woo mom, I just got my degree.
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  Woo. Dad, I just learned how to I
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  just made that basketball team. Woo and they'll be like no
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  expression native. Just steal your damn energy.
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  Flip it on you. You see what I'm saying?
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  If it doesn't benefit them, then they can flip it on you.
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  They'll they'll turn your positive into a negative host
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  haste with with y'all, with the utmost quickness.
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  They absolutely will. They will just literally turn
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  your positive emotions into some negativity quick, like quick as
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  hell. So that's why I tell people
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  y'all it looks like, and it and it sucks to even have to say
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  this, that sometimes if you have to express yourself emotionally,
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  this is where this is where a good support system comes into
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  play. Because I know everybody can't
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  leave a narcissist. Everybody doesn't want to leave
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  their talks. Everybody doesn't want to leave
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  their relationship. It's no dream in his own y'all.
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  That's why having a support system comes into play.
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  Because a lot of times if you have emotions that you need to
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  express that don't benefit that narcissistic person, that you
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  might want to have somebody else to talk to about it first.
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  You might want to have like a buffer to go home before you go
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  home. Like if you if you have
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  something a a negative situation at work, right?
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  And you're crying and you feeling bad about yourself, but
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  this is OK, let's back it up right here.
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  This this same situation go a couple different ways because
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  your negative emotions right there could benefit the
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  narcissist. Think about it right there.
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  If you come home crying, right because you had a trouble at
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  work, you had to argue with somebody at work.
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  The narcissist can benefit from that because they can blame you.
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  They can take the side of the other person.
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  They can take the other person's side immediately and put it on
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  to you, blame you for how you got there.
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  So what did you do to get? What did you do to make them say
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  this to you? The other person actually has a
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  point. Did you or you were actually in
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  the wrong here? Even if you were in the right,
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  even if you don't have any culpability here, they'll make
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  you feel like you would see they can benefit from that because
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  they can put you down like that. They can take your negative
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  emotions, take a benefit from it and put you down right there.
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  They can. Like it's kind of like kicking
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  you while you're down, you know. So that's what I'm just saying,
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  like sometimes your negative emotions they can benefit from
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  and your positive emotions they can't.
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  It depends on like every narcissist is going to be
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  different, You know, every narcissist is going to be
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  different. Every narcissist talks, person,
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  whatever is going to give you a different response.
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  Typically, you know, that's what I'm just saying like how does
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  how does this benefit them? Ask yourself that question right
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  there before you go home, before you express yourself.
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  If you have time, if it's not a sudden reaction, if you have
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  time to think about it, ask yourself y'all.
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  Because that's the question that narcissistic, narcissistic
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  people ask themselves on a subconscious level all the time.
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  See me, I'm I I asking myself that question on a on a
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  conscious level because I'm self aware.
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  I ask myself, how does this benefit me?
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  How does how does this affect me?
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  So that's the question. You can ask yourself about them
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  before you even open your mouth to them.
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  How did this benefit them? If you've had, if you're in a
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  long term relationship with them, typically you know how
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  they're going to react one way or the other.
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  You typically have a good baseline on how they're going to
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  react. So if you have a negative,
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  negative emotion that you need to express, that's not going to
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  benefit them. Or they're going to react
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  negatively to you, or they're going to take the side of
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  somebody who hurt you or harmed you.
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  Babe, I got a babe. They they robbed me on the way
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  home. Where were you at?
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  Where were you wearing? What happened to you?
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  Why don't you just come straight home?
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  Why don't you run into the car? You see what I'm saying?
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  They'll blame you. So having a good support system
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  can help you out. I'm talking about your family
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  members, your close friends that you have for a year, people that
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  can support you through this. So you can have an event.
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  And I know what you're going to say, leave.
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  But that sucks to have to talk to somebody else.
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  You can't talk to your partner. Exactly.
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  That's the point. It sucks that you can't express
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  yourself to your partner in a healthy way.
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  It sucks to not be able to talk to your partner in a way that
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  y'all can be just emotionally express yourself to them.
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  It sucks, doesn't it? Yes, that's the point.
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  That's why I'm trying to get you to realize it sucks that they
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  have to have somebody else to talk to before.
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  You have to have a buffer before you talk to your partner.
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  So you don't want to upset your partner because you're upset.
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  You know what I'm saying? Very rarely do you get some
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  narcissists will take your side. You know, I'm not saying that
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  all narcissists are the same. That's not me trying to say that
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  because you like you understand the person you're dealing with.
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  Now this is my channel understanding.
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  Narcissists understand toxic people understand the toxic
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  behaviors and whatnot, right? So that what I'm saying, like
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  you understand this. You know this person now.
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  So if you know them, you can express yourself to them in a
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  different way. You can have a filter.
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  You can talk to your mom or dad if you still, if they're still
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  around, you talk to your siblings.
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  You can talk to your best friend if you're still around.
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  If you haven't isolated yourself, you know you can talk
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  to a therapist. If you have isolated yourself.
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  You need somebody to talk to. You can talk to a therapist, you
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  can do a coaching session. You can join one of my.
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  I'm building some, meet myself, I'm building some communities
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  here pretty soon to go along my my, my video series and whatnot.
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  That's what I'm just saying. Like there's other there's help
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  out there, you know, so you don't have to necessarily talk
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  to your partner. You can have a buffer to
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  decompress before you talk to your partner so you don't.
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  And like, again, y'all again, this is these, could they be
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  long term solutions? Yeah.
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  But these, like, do you really think you can be with this
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  person for 20 more years, not being able to talk to you, not
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  being able to express yourself to this person.
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  Because we all know how a lot of narcissists act when you cry in
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  front of them. If you cry in front of a lot of
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  narcissists, they assume that you're trying to use your tears
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  to manipulate them with. They assume that you're trying
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  to use your tears, your tears, your emotions.
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  They assume that you're trying to use those to be manipulative
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  with, like you're trying to use those tears, like you're crying
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  and you're hurt. Your father just passed away.
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  Your dog just passed away, your cat got hit by a car.
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  Whatever it is, your goldfish is belly up.
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  Your you know what I mean? Your gold, your clown fish is
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  belly up. Whatever you need, Nemo is.
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  You got to flush Nemo down the toilet.
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  You see what I'm saying? You're expressing yourself,
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  you're crying, but you don't get any empathy for them.
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  If you have a partner that you can't expect empathy from, you
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  have, where are you going to get it from?
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  I'm just saying, I'm not saying this is a foolproof solution to
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  have a support system that can you can be empathetic with
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  because this is temporary, because sooner or later you're
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  going to have to try to talk to your partner because that's how
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  like, y'all you grow. I mean, typically you end up
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  growing further apart anyway. When you once you understand
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  that you can't communicate with them, you're you're already
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  growing apart in a healthy, happy relationship.
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  You grow closer together over time.
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  Yeah. Is it like this sometimes in
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  relationships? Yeah.
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  That's how marriages are. That's how partnerships are.
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  In and out, in and out. Sometimes.
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  It's not going to always be just even killed the whole time.
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  Even the best couples argue. People been married for 40
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  years. You think they didn't argue and
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  fuss and fight? I ain't talking about physically
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  fight. I ain't talking about putting
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  the boxing gloves on. Let's go outside, baby.
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  You got to throw their hands with me.
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  I ain't saying they they did that, you know what I mean?
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  But a lot of couples argued and fussed and stuff like that.
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  No couple is perfect. That's what I'm trying to convey
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  to y'all. They're like having a support
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  system. Having somebody that you can
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  convey your emotions to helps you out right here.
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  Because narcissistic people, when you're crying you, when you
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  need a shoulder to cry, typically they're going to move
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  their shoulder. Typically they're going to leave
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  you by yourself to cry and heal on your own.
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  You have to be able to self soothe, self soothe and self
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  love help you in toxic relationships because that
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  narcissistic person isn't really going to give you any empathy
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  because they don't have a lot of empathy to give.
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  Lack of empathy is one of the the dominant traits of of
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  narcissistic personality disorder, of toxic behavior, of
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  toxic people. They're going to have a lack of
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  emotional empathy. They might understand what
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  you're going through on a cognitive level, on a just a
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  human level or your or your dog passed away.
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  I understand you're hurt you know but are they going to be
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  crying with you like the dog was mine too, You know very, very
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  rarely. I'm not saying they won't saying
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  very rarely because typically they're going to react
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  negatively to your emotions because narcissist, I do believe
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  this right here. I'll end on this.
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  Narcissists have limited emotional capacity, which means
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  they don't have a lot of emotion to go around.
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  For everybody else, they barely have enough for themselves, so
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  they they're not going to be there when you need them.
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  From an emotional standpoint, typically you're going to be
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  like on an island by yourself to self soothe because they're not
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  going to be there when you need them emotionally.
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  Y'all. Typically when you need a
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  narcissist emotionally, how they're going to react is in a
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  selfish way. They're going to react in a way
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  that serves them like to your like when you need empathy, you
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  might get anger. When you need empathy, you might
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  get dismissive. When you get empathy, you might
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  get left by yourself to cry by yourself.
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  They might go out and party. I don't want to hear this
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  crying. I'm going to call my friends.
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  You know what I'm saying? I'm going to call my sister.
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  I'm going to hang on my sister. I'm not going to hear this all
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  day. So how do narcissists react when
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  you when you when you express yourself emotionally in a way
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  that's beneficial to them. Anyway, y'all let me hop off
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  this thing. Make sure y'all check out
• 11:07
  myself. Love journal on Amazon If you
• 11:09
  have the self love journal. My this is my kids book.
• 11:12
  My kids book on Amazon. Remember it's not your fault if
• 11:15
  you have the kids book. Hit a good review for me on
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  there. Y'all please, please please.
• 11:18
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  star review on my book not because of the contents of the
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  book. The book is good because Amazon
• 11:25
  sent them a copy that was cut off.
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  So they left a one star review on my on the book.
• 11:29
  I'm like Amazon did that. Hey much Y'all, I'm super
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  thankful for y'all. Make sure you subscribe to the
• 11:35
  channel. Let the illnesses out.
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  Peace. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. You are a mental illness rock
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  star and I appreciate you for being here.
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• 11:56
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.