Latest / The Woody Show / HIGHLIGHT POD 30 MINS: The Woody Show October 2nd 2026 Podcast

Transcript

HIGHLIGHT POD 30 MINS: The Woody Show October 2nd 2026 Podcast · The Woody Show

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: The Woody Show. I like that very much. All right, Menace. Yes.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Birthday month update.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Ooh, yeah. Do you want to give my personal update?
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Okay, yes. Yeah, you announced the list.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Yes, the list is available.
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Any kind of movement? Yeah, great movement.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: Already on the Woody Show Instagram if you want to
• 0:24
  Speaker 2: check out the full list.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: But.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: I got word yesterday. Most likely I will be able
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: to give away two 98 inch televisions. Thanks to TCL.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: One will be available for a giveaway on our Instagram
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: page at the Woody show on Instagram. So once I
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: can get that all done and ready to go, you'll
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: be able to go to our Instagram and be able
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: to enter to win that.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: That's awesome.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: I got multiple people hit me up about that surf
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: spot that I want to go to desert surf. about
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: taking a listener to learn how to surf, and I
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: can learn how to surf as well. So hopefully that
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: will be set up. And somebody else reached out about
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: getting a movie theater together for us to have a
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: listener watch party for the new Street Fighter movie.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I saw a lot of interest in the Extreme Weekend
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: trip to London to go to the Raising Cane to
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: their opening in London. For sure. Anything on that?
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: No, I mean, it's going to get done either way.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: If I fund it or somebody else funds it, it'll
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: be done. And then I assume we'll maybe do that
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: on our Instagram as well.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: Okay. We'll keep everybody updated. Menace's birthday month, October. He
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: lives for it.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Only grown man we know that celebrates his birthday for
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: an entire month.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: On Earth.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: The surf thing, would it be like one lesson or
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: would it be... Because it's going to take a minute
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: to learn to surf.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: People do that on vacations. I mean, they don't spend
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: the entire week.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: People do.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: Menace, though.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: And I know.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: You grew up skateboarding, so maybe that's an advantage.
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: I don't know. He can't squat to the ground.
• 1:58
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: That's true. I can. It's shocking. No, when we had
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Tony Horton here.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, no.
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: When we had Tony Horton here.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Is that new?
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: That is new, but his heels are off the ground. Yeah,
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: not totally flat.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Just a regular squat, like, you know, like a regular
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: standing squat, unassisted, not weighted, not anything, just a squat.
• 2:18
  Speaker 6: Which on a surfboard, you don't have your heels on
• 2:20
  Speaker 6: the board, obviously, so maybe he's okay.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like Menace was having to hold on to something
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: to get himself back up. Now that was... 40 plus
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: pounds ago oh that was like 65 pounds ago 65
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: pounds ago so when you were fun yeah maybe maybe
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: that had something to do with it.
• 2:36
  Speaker 7: Remember non-stop food drop remember that yeah don't know where
• 2:39
  Speaker 7: I got some food on the way right now Menace
• 2:41
  Speaker 7: are you ready to be the star yes Menace's late
• 2:43
  Speaker 7: night monologue week in review.
• 2:47
  Speaker 8: Alright Menace is working on his next career to be
• 2:52
  Speaker 8: a writer for the late night monologues yeah you know
• 2:57
  Speaker 8: Or maybe.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: A future SNL. He loves SNL.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Maybe a future doing weekend update.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: I mean, they're pretty solid there, but... You never know.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Have they heard this material? That's true.
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: Who knows?
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: All right. So, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: time for Menace's Late Night Monologue Week in Review.
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: And here.
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: Yo!
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: What's up, everybody? Well, I didn't know that Tennessee used
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Yoohoo when trying to execute people to botch executions on
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: the same day with the same lady. Look, here's a tip, Tennessee.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: If you ever want to get rid of a woman forever,
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: all you got to do is push a restaurant bill
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: towards them. Dang!
• 3:44
  Speaker 9: And.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Boom, they're gone.
• 3:46
  Speaker 5: Got it.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: It's called the Dutch Houdini. It works every time. Every time.
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: That's the best ever.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Take the joke. All right.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Love it.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: Starting strong.
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: Diddy, a.k.a. Puffy, was placed in solitary after being caught
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: with a cell phone. I don't know what's worse, no
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: cell phone or solitary, but at least it's still raining dongs.
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: Am I right, Greg?
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Got it. Hashtag can't stop, won't stop.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Now, a penguin that escaped from a Tokyo Zoo three
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: months ago returned on.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: Its own this week.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: And when asked where the penguin might have gone, zoo
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: workers replied with, your mom's refrigerator, bitch.
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: Nailed it.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: Yep.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Nice.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: Speaking of... Thank you, Sammy. Speaking of refrigerators, Gina, Woody.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: You're so supportive.
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: Speaking of refrigerators, Gina, Woody, and myself are on Zetbound.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: Morgan announced she's on Retta, but unfortunately, Sammy, they still
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: haven't come up with Whale of True Tide yet.
• 4:55
  Speaker 10: Oh, no!
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: So you're kind of screwed. More complaints.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: But nature will find a way, Sammy. You got it.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Did you guys hear that candy corn came out with
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: their own cologne? Yeah, it's available. And on the box
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: it says you can smell like ish and taste ish
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: at the same time. Candy corn. Because their taste buds
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: are garbage. Now available at Walmart.
• 5:23
  Speaker 11: I was targeting Woody.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: How about that cost of living? Am I right, guys?
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: It's so bad Greg is rationing salmon for his dinner party.
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: Never mind. I did mean semen. Dude, speaking of costs,
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: how about them gas prices? The national average is $ 4.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: 41.
• 5:51
  Speaker 12: $ 4.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: 41?
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: Just take all my money already because, Greg, them rations though, right?
• 5:54
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: We can get zero miles on them loads.
• 5:56
  Speaker 12: Yeah.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: I'm done. I'm done, man. It's just like YOLO. Like
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: Morgan says, bitch, this ain't my reality. In my reality,
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Greg's reservoir of man juice is flowing.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Like the river. Like the river, all right? Yeah.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: The river. Okay. America might be hit with six months
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: of bad weather, and it's like, dude, it's so bad.
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: My friend Tyler over here is building an ark, and
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: on his supply list, he has two tortas, monster energy drink,
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: Pokemon cards, and for some reason, 97 butt plugs.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: Oh!
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: Odd choice. Speaking of Tyler, he's now live streaming five
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: days a week, selling baseball cards on Fanatics Live. Unfortunately,
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: no dong, though. Sucks. Tyler is like, dude, show dong.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: You don't know marketing?
• 7:10
  Speaker 6: 101.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, Tyler.
• 7:12
  Speaker 13: Yeah.
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: A-hole?
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: All right.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Nicolas Cage has an action movie coming out called Best
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Pancakes in the County. When asked for comments, Sammy said, bitch,
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: you had me at pancakes.
• 7:27
  Speaker 1: County.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: All right. Also in the news, also in fat and
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: lazy news, did you hear about this? Amazon is introducing
• 7:36
  Speaker 2: a $ 35 remote for your Kindle.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: They are?
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, called Kindle Click. So you don't even have to
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: turn the pages yourself. You can just turn them remotely. But,
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: you know, joke's on you, Amazon. I'm so lazy, I
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: don't read books. Suck on that. All right. But, okay. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: Our Reeboks. We got movies, guys. Unfortunately, no good movies
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: this week, so hopefully Tyler shows his dong or penis
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: on his live stream.
• 8:13
  Speaker 6: Either or.
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: Oh, let's hope so.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: He has a dog. Anyways, we have a great show
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: for you. Flock of Seagulls are here with Dennis Rodman,
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: and I hope you enjoy your Friday.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: There he is.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: That is our weekend review.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: Menace's late night monologue. Week in review.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: It's tough. You know, I'm handcuffed by the news and
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: not in a lot of good news out there. I
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: really want to make a joke about that Halle Berry thing, but,
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: you know, there's child abuse involved, so can't do that.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Unless you have one, Seabass.
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I have not even heard of this story yet.
• 8:45
  Speaker 10: She got her kid taken away.
• 8:47
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 8:48
  Speaker 9: I know.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's pretty wild.
• 8:49
  Speaker 11: You just make a public one for movies.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: A text here says, what are we giving this a rest?
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: This segment isn't one bit funny. It's kind of embarrassing to.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Be associated with this segment. Hashtag the same person that
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: texts us in every single time.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: No one is laughing one bit aside from Menace himself. Sammy. Man,
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: that's so not true. What about Sammy? That opening joke,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I thought was really good.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: Thank you.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: I laughed. There's something in here somewhere about explaining things
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: to people that I'm just going to let But go.
• 9:18
  Speaker 11: Can we get Tyler's username on this cart?
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Oh, Fanatics Live?
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: I don't know if he wants that.
• 9:25
  Speaker 11: I'd like to see that.
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: No, he does.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Oh, he does? Yeah, yeah. It's money, right? Yeah.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: So if you download the Fanatics Live app, all you
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: got to do is search Mama Breaks.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: Mama Breaks? Yeah. Is that your screen name, Tyler? No,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: that's the name of the company I work for.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:40
  Speaker 12: Oh.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: So you search Mama Breaks. That's not even his own cars?
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: And then you'll see Tyler in there. No, he works
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: for this company. Wait, does it have- I'm going to
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: ask the Greg question.
• 9:47
  Speaker 11: Does it have to be on the app?
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: You can watch it on your laptop.
• 9:51
  Speaker 13: Thank God.
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 9:53
  Speaker 12: Yes.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: And is it a particular time? Usually afternoon. Usually afternoon.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: like 12. That doesn't narrow it down. Yeah, I mean,
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: it does narrow it down. Somebody's like, is it weekdays
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: at two? Yeah, I would say weekdays, early afternoon. But
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: that's what I'm saying. What's early afternoon to you?
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: We're trying to help you. I've got another question. So
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: somebody saw Tyler and is like, that's our spokesman. Dude,
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: it's baseball and NBA cards and Pokemon. Get a hot chick.
• 10:23
  Speaker 11: If they're just opening packs of cards, who cares?
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: Well, you know what they say.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: Who do you think owns the company?
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: They go, really?
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: A hot chick?
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: So she doesn't know what their hot chick's?
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: So what they go, they'll say, you know, our customer base,
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: they really want to see themselves being represented in the brand.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: And so when you think about the people that are
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: out there and they're buying these things and they're doing
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: these things and they're this passionate about it, they are Tyler.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: Tyler's the guy. He's probably like... Textbook we are Tyler,
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: you know card trading card buying dude, right from what
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: I see at these, you know They see videos from
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: these big trade shows and stuff. Yeah, it's a whole
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: trade convention center of Tyler's.
• 10:59
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I guess what happens when you go to trade
• 11:01
  Speaker 6: shows who's there booth chicks booth babes. Yeah, there's a
• 11:03
  Speaker 6: known thing Anyway, that's your Halle Berry thing.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: So here you go.
• 11:06
  Speaker 6: All right, Halle Berry I have you know accused of
• 11:09
  Speaker 6: child abuse very sad news there She says it was
• 11:12
  Speaker 6: just a little bit of confusion.
• 11:13
  Speaker 11: She was preparing for her her new movie monsters bald fist.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: Oh Wow, good one, Seabass. You know what?
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: On the fly, not bad.
• 11:21
  Speaker 7: Thank you.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: We're going to take a quick break. More Woody Show
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: is next. We've got the DUIQ.
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: What's happening? I was given an assignment and I took it.
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Not the name of the mascot, per se.
• 11:37
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Per se? Ooh, that's fancy.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, per se is always fancy. I love some per se.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: Someone went to France.
• 11:46
  Speaker 7: Per se.
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: That's a nice croissant there, per se.
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: Dude, ever since that moment, I realized that I say
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: that a lot.
• 11:57
  Speaker 11: Per se?
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah. You do.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: I have not noticed that. Yeah, I've been made aware.
• 12:04
  Speaker 10: You sound like the guy, one of the famous breakout
• 12:08
  Speaker 10: stars of Love on the Spectrum.
• 12:09
  Speaker 13: Per se.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: Awareness gained.
• 12:12
  Speaker 13: Yeah.
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: I've never noticed that. I'm trying to be conscious of
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: it now. Well, you have a real je ne sais
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: qual of it.
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: I say very few fancy things. Keep the per se.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: It's your per se. Before we get into the DUIQ,
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: it was just Seabass's birthday. And we have a late
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: gift today. A late gift in for Seabass's birthday. It's
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: from Jeff Garcia. Jeff G got you a gift.
• 12:41
  Speaker 11: That's nice.
• 12:42
  Speaker 5: I enjoy sharing the office with you, Seabass. You're a
• 12:45
  Speaker 5: great dude, and you are the king of cameo on
• 12:48
  Speaker 5: the cheapo, right? So I figured I might as well
• 12:51
  Speaker 5: dip my toe in that water and get you a
• 12:53
  Speaker 5: cameo for your birthday.
• 12:55
  Speaker 6: I've gotten dozens of cameos from you guys, but I've
• 12:57
  Speaker 6: never gotten one in return.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: From a big star. And when I say big, a
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: big star.
• 13:02
  Speaker 11: Whoa.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: You want me to reveal? I have the clip ready
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: to go.
• 13:07
  Speaker 5: We know how much you love porn, so right away
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: I searched on Cameo for.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: A porn star.
• 13:12
  Speaker 5: This person has a ton of videos under his belt.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: He's got a lot under his belt.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: If this is Girthmaster, I'm going to faint.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: I think this guy gives Girthmaster a run for his money.
• 13:26
  Speaker 5: I also informed him that you love reading the Bible.
• 13:29
  Speaker 5: That you love acupuncture. That you love Elon Musk and Cybertrucks.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: So I gave him all your favorites. What's his name?
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: His name is Rock Hardo. So instead of Ricardo, it's
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: Rock Hardo Black.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Ricardo Black. It's so simple. I'm surprised no one's ever
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: come up with it.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: That is so good.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: He lives up to the name.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: That's him.
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he looks like he's about 5'9.
• 13:53
  Speaker 11: That's just his penis, 5'9.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: 160 pounds, and then there's a big shadow down below.
• 13:56
  Speaker 7: Yeah, exactly.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: Jeff had.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: What'd you go into, like incognito mode to search? Yeah,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: I did.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: Private browsing for the pics. Tyler actually helped me on that.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: But anyways. There was one where, I mean, he's so
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: large that he's able to pass it back through his legs.
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: So it sticks out the back. And then some chick
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: was behind him servicing a mouth party style.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: So there was enough out the back.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah. That's what I'm saying. He passed it through, like
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: tucked it down between his legs. So it's stuck straight
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: out the back. And there was still enough there where
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: the chick could give him a mouth party. That rule.
• 14:35
  Speaker 6: Wow.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: That would be awesome. That's why he is your cameo
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: on the cheapo.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Happy birthday. Sea bass warning. Fun accent ahead.
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah.
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: Here we go. Here's a rock hard. Oh, black sea bass.
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: So you like reading the Bible. I'm going to leave
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: that right there. Acupuncture. Like to be pricked. Elon Musk
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: and his Cybertruck. God damn. God damn, man. But it's
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: your birthday. So, happy birthday, Seamus.
• 15:07
  Speaker 9: And thank you for being a huge fan. Thank you
• 15:11
  Speaker 9: if you purchase my videos and stuff like that.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
• 15:14
  Speaker 9: So, whatever you're doing, I hope you're getting wet, you know.
• 15:17
  Speaker 9: I hope you're getting wet.
• 15:19
  Speaker 3: I hope you're getting wet. Some company. I hope you
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: got some company.
• 15:24
  Speaker 9: Happy big birthday. I don't know how old you are,
• 15:27
  Speaker 9: but happy big birthday.
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: Just don't enjoy it too much because you want to
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: be living to the next one.
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: And happy birthday. See you next.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: There you go. That's from Rock Hardo Black. Wow.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: I like that accent.
• 15:42
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: Is he Scottish?
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: It sounds British.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Liverpool, maybe?
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: Sounds like one.
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Of Seabass's kids. Sounds fun. Sounds Scottish.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: 877-44-Woody.
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: That's 877-44-Woody. We have a dumbass contest, you guys. It's Friday,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: and today's dumbass contest is the DUIQ. That's right. Do
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: you like to go ahead and explain the game to everybody?
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: Birthday boy.
• 16:10
  Speaker 6: See, I find a drunk person and I give them
• 16:13
  Speaker 6: some easy questions. And the game is not to answer
• 16:15
  Speaker 6: the questions.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: You can do that. Anybody can do that.
• 16:17
  Speaker 6: They're very easy questions. The game is, is this person
• 16:20
  Speaker 6: so drunk that they won't know the answer? If you
• 16:22
  Speaker 6: can guess what they know the answer to out of three.
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: Times, you win. All right. Eight, seven, seven, 44.
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: Woody.
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Is the number to call to be the contestant. Now,
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: we're going to guess with Sammy and Menace, who are
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: Stone Cold sober. That's just for funsies.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: It's for humor.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: Let's see if they'll know it. 877-44-WOODY. And who do
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: we have here, Sammy?
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: We have Jennifer.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Jennifer. Here she is. Hi, Jennifer.
• 16:47
  Speaker 12: Hi, Jennifer.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Hey, happy Friday.
• 16:50
  Speaker 9: I love you guys.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: Happy Friday, Jennifer. What up? All right, so we're going
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: to play the DUIQ before we get to the questions
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: that actually count towards you winning a prize. We're going
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: to get to know the drunk. We're going to hear
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: a little clip from them just to kind of get
• 17:00
  Speaker 1: an idea just how with it or not with it
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: they are before we get to those all-important questions. And
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: who is this person, Seabass?
• 17:07
  Speaker 6: This is a guy I found at the Folsom Street Fair.
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: Yay!
• 17:11
  Speaker 6: Because besides thousands of naked men displaying themselves and doing
• 17:15
  Speaker 6: things to each other, there is.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: People drinking.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: No way.
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: They have little bars.
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: It is a party.
• 17:22
  Speaker 6: And it is on a public street, so people just
• 17:24
  Speaker 6: set up shop on the front of their homes, their
• 17:26
  Speaker 6: little stoops.
• 17:26
  Speaker 11: They'll sell drinks there.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: And that's where I found Greg's partner, Mario. Oh, wow.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Greg's husband.
• 17:31
  Speaker 6: No, it's just a different Mario. And Mario's going to
• 17:34
  Speaker 6: tell me what he has to drink at Folsom Street Fair.
• 17:36
  Speaker 13: You're out here at Folsom Street Fair. What brought you
• 17:38
  Speaker 13: up here for this weekend?
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Definitely my fetishes.
• 17:41
  Speaker 4: Like leather, something kinky, something... Something painful but pleasurable.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: I see that bottle.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: It's not water.
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: Jameson and ginger.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Jameson and ginger!
• 17:52
  Speaker 6: Yes! Now, you're all afraid with the ginger ale, though,
• 17:54
  Speaker 6: like the sugar, though, gets you all bloated or whatever.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: It's diet ginger ale.
• 17:57
  Speaker 9: Oh.
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: I'm conscious about my weight.
• 17:59
  Speaker 7: Smart.
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: It's just they say it doesn't give you hangovers, so
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: no matter how much you drink tomorrow, it's.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Going to be a bright, sunshiny day.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: Did not know that. Mario sounds different, Greg.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's wasted here.
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: Also, is there sober gays?
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, there has to be. Do they exist, Greg? I
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: don't know any. I was going to say, I think
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: the vast majority of gay dudes that I know are
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: all heavy drinkers.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: They like to party. I'm trying to think if I
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: know one. Maybe green sober, as they call it.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Maybe it was like, When, you know, they were still
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: closeted and very, like, anxious about the whole thing. They
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: were drinking to kind of numb. And then they just
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: loved it. And then they were out there like, you
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: know what? This can stay. They realized the rules.
• 18:41
  Speaker 6: I find there's a meeting Queer and Anonymous for AA
• 18:44
  Speaker 6: that you can go to.
• 18:46
  Speaker 10: Packed.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: They hold them in stadiums. Yeah.
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: 877-40.
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: Oh, no, we have Jennifer. Sorry. We have Jennifer. There's Jennifer.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: All right, Jennifer, you ready for.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: Question number one?
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Always.
• 18:58
  Speaker 12: All right.
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: D-U-I-Q.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: What city is the capital of Alaska?
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: What city is the capital of Alaska?
• 19:05
  Speaker 6: Of course, I'm asking this because both of, well, not
• 19:07
  Speaker 6: only Mario, but our two in-studio guests have been there recently.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we were just there.
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say yes for Sammy.
• 19:16
  Speaker 12: No.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: Yes for Menace, no for Mario. Double yes here in
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: the studio, no for Mario. What do you think, Greg?
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: You're way more confident than I am. I'm going triple no. Oh, wow.
• 19:28
  Speaker 10: We're all doing different ones. I'm going to give Sammy
• 19:30
  Speaker 10: the yes on this one. So only Sammy gets the yes.
• 19:33
  Speaker 11: Everybody else no.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Everybody else no. All right, Jennifer, what do you think?
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: Yes or no?
• 19:37
  Speaker 9: No.
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: No. Question number one, DUIQ. What city is the capital
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: of Alaska?
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Menace.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: Anchorage.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Anchorage. Sammy. Juneau. Juneau is the answer.
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: Juno is the answer. answer. I had little faith. All right, now, Gina,
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: you can win this one. Question number one, DUIQ.
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: What city is the capital of Alaska?
• 19:59
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: Greenland? Greenland.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: I know so many good things about it.
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: It's also like one of my bucket lists.
• 20:06
  Speaker 12: Oh, okay.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Greenland? Yeah. He wants to go to Greenland, Alaska.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: You can't drive there.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: You gotta take a plane or a boat. I love it.
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: Well, maybe he was thinking because, you know, Greenland's got
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: a lot of ice. Iceland's pretty green.
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a similar latitude.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: Alaska.
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: You're doing way too much gymnastics for him.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to help out. All right. Well, congratulations, Jennifer.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: You got yourself your first point here on this round
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: of the DUIQ. All right. Question number two.
• 20:34
  Speaker 13: Ho Chi Minh and Hanoi are the biggest cities in what?
• 20:38
  Speaker 11: More travel stuff.
• 20:40
  Speaker 13: Ho Chi Minh and Hanoi are the biggest cities in what?
• 20:43
  Speaker 11: So not small, obscure cities.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: No for both Sammy and Menace. No for Mario. Yes, Mr.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: Greenland.
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no for Mario.
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think this is a Tripp's no situation.
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: I already had no for Mario. I'm double, I'm double guessing,
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: you know, second guessing myself with Menace.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: There's a famous.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: No with Sammy.
• 21:06
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 21:06
  Speaker 11: I'm sticking with Tripp. There's a song that Sammy might know.
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: That.
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: But I'm not going to say where it's from.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Don't give her hints, because then you've got to give
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: Menace one.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: It's fine. Just tell her that Menace would know.
• 21:16
  Speaker 3: On a fair.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that was totally, yeah. You're right. I was so stupid. Okay,
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: so no to Mario.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: Triple no. Yeah. Yeah, triple no. All right, Jennifer, what
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: do you think?
• 21:29
  Speaker 10: Negative.
• 21:30
  Speaker 7: Negative?
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: Not going to get it?
• 21:32
  Speaker 11: Not happening.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Question number two. DUIQ.
• 21:36
  Speaker 13: Ho Chi Minh and Hanoi are the biggest cities in what?
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: Sammy.
• 21:38
  Speaker 12: Sammy.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: Honduras. Honduras.
• 21:41
  Speaker 12: Menace.
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: Vietnam. Vietnam is the answer. Good morning, Vietnam.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: We outside.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: This is rock and roll.
• 21:51
  Speaker 11: That's not the song I was thinking of.
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: Full metal jacket. Ho Chi Minh is a son of
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: a bitch.
• 21:55
  Speaker 10: Why would she know that?
• 21:56
  Speaker 11: Because she's a fan of cinema. Also, I may have
• 22:00
  Speaker 11: been joking.
• 22:01
  Speaker 12: Okay.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: All right, well, Jennifer, if Mario does not get this
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: one right, you're going to be the winner of this
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: round of the DUIQ. Question number two.
• 22:09
  Speaker 13: Ho Chi Minh and Hanoi are the biggest cities in what?
• 22:12
  Speaker 11: Vietnam.
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: How do you know that? Because there used to be
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: a flight attendant.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: Shocking.
• 22:18
  Speaker 7: All right.
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Good news is, Jennifer, you're still alive. We got the
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: third one.
• 22:27
  Speaker 11: No.
• 22:27
  Speaker 12: No, no.
• 22:27
  Speaker 11: She said no.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: No.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: No, she said no.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: Negative.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: She said negative that Mario would not get it. Oh,
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: but I thought Mario said Japan. No, he said Vietnam. Oh,
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: I heard Japan.
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: Uh-uh.
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: Geez, he must be a flight attendant.
• 22:37
  Speaker 13: Ho Chi Minh and Hanoi are the biggest cities in what?
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: Vietnam. I didn't know that.
• 22:42
  Speaker 1: Vietnam.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: Vietnam. That's drunk Vietnam.
• 22:46
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: All right, question number three, DUIQ.
• 22:49
  Speaker 12: What fairy is featured in the opening title of most
• 22:51
  Speaker 12: Disney movies?
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: Yes to Sammy.
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: Yes to Sammy.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: Yes to Menace. Yes to Menace.
• 22:57
  Speaker 11: Menace is tricky in his screw-ups.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: I think he knows this one. I'm saying yes. I'm
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: confidently yes for Menace and Sammy. Right.
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: Man.
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: But the only one. Mario.
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: It's a wild card.
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: I could be swayed. Greg, what do you think? Do we.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Gina?
• 23:17
  Speaker 10: Okay, I'm going to go out on a limb and
• 23:19
  Speaker 10: say Disney is not this guy's area of expertise.
• 23:22
  Speaker 11: I'm going to say no to Mario.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: I'm going to say triple yes. I'm meaning triple yes
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: as well. You know what?
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Yes in studio, no out. Let's get crazy.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: Let's get nuts, Greg. Let's go insane. Greg?
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: Triple yes.
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: All right. Triple yes.
• 23:38
  Speaker 8: No way.
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: That's what Greg and I say. Gina does not agree. Jennifer,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: what do you think? Yes or no? This is make
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: or break.
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: I know, and this is a rough one, but I'm
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: going to go with Gina and say no.
• 23:48
  Speaker 12: No.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Mario won't get it. We're going to start with Menace
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: and Sammy first. Question number three, DUIQ.
• 23:54
  Speaker 12: What fairy is featured in the opening title of most
• 23:56
  Speaker 12: Disney movies?
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Menace. Tinkerbell. Sammy.
• 24:01
  Speaker 13: Tinkerbell.
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Tinkerbell is the answer.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, Mario.
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm rooting for Jennifer, but I'm rooting for
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: us four.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I think Mario got it. I mean, what else
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: would he think?
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know. Question number three, DUIQ.
• 24:13
  Speaker 12: What fairy is featured in the opening title of most
• 24:15
  Speaker 12: Disney movies?
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: What's her name?
• 24:18
  Speaker 3: Tinkerbell. Yes.
• 24:19
  Speaker 13: Yes.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: Queen, in fact.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: Take that, Gina.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
• 24:24
  Speaker 10: You just didn't seem very Disney-like to me.
• 24:27
  Speaker 6: He's probably a Tinkerbell himself.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: We're talking about fairies, right?
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: I didn't want a profile.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: I love pixie dust.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: You took a big swing, Jennifer.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Things just got real 1980s. Jennifer, Jennifer, Jennifer. So sorry
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: about that, but thank you so much for listening to
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: The Woody Show. We appreciate you. Have yourself a great weekend.
• 24:51
  Speaker 9: Yeah, you too.
• 24:51
  Speaker 6: It's time for me to go get drunk now.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: You know what? It can only get better from here.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: That's the glass half full. There you go. Greg, you
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: know what? I almost said, if we get this and
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: it's a triple yes, we should make out. Thank God.
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: Go back in time.
• 25:07
  Speaker 7: We'll save that for another game.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: More Woody Show next. Hang on. The Woody Show, back
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: in a few.