Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What causes a narcissist TO NOT reach you to you.

Transcript

What causes a narcissist TO NOT reach you to you. · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people, Today we're going to be
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  answering the question, what happens when a narcissist
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  doesn't reach out to you? What?
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  What's going on inside of their mind?
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  Like what? How should you handle this?
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  If you didn't hear, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a self aware narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  the Narcissist Code. So welcome back.
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  Welcome back, welcome back folks.
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  Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Yep, Yep, Yep.
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  What does it mean when a narcissist doesn't reach out to
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  you after the breakup, when the relationship ends, when it's all
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  said and done and they no longer are reaching out to you?
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  What it what? What the hell does that mean?
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  Lee? Doesn't everybody get a Hoover?
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  Don't all narcissist try to come back into your life?
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  No, no, yo, take look, I'm going to say it like this.
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  I'm going I'm going to more detail and it's just a second.
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  You got to bear with me. I'm going to say it like this.
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  Take the win, WIN. It's a win, WIN, win WHENA
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  narcissist doesn't reach out to you, especially if you don't
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  have any anything connecting to you, anything that's connecting
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  to you like no kids, no family, no, no property, no nothing like
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  y'all. It could be viewed as a victory
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  when and if they never reach out to you again after the breakup,
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  regardless of regardless of who ends it, right?
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  It could be viewed as a a victory in these situations,
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  right? And the reason I say that is
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  because there are so many people that I talk to, thousands upon
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  thousands of people that I've spoken with, I've encountered on
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  this journey of helping people heal and grow from narcissistic
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  abuse, that pray. The narcissist never reaches
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  out, reaches out to them again. That pray that the hoovering
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  stops, that the stalking will end, that the harassing emails
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  or the voice notes or the text messages or the WhatsApp
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  messages or the fake, you know, the fake phone calls, phone
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  calls from fake numbers. They pray that they stop.
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  They are, they pray to be here in your position that the
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  narcissist never reaches out to them again.
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  So it could be viewed as a victory.
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  Is it what, what you, what The question you're asking is a
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  question that so many people would view as a victory, You
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  know? I know.
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  I understand it from the other perspective as well.
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  You feel like you're not worth enough.
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  You feel like you didn't mean anything to them because they
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  didn't Hoover you. You know what I mean?
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  Not all narcissists y'all hear me say this before.
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  Not all narcissists are going to try to come back into your life,
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  y'all. Not all of them will.
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  Some of them are absolutely 100% done with you.
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  There are a lot of narcissists out here that are 100% finished
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  with you. They're done.
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  They the relationship is over. They have no intent on
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  contacting you again. But there are a ton of
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  narcissists that do. That's a, there's some of them
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  that will reach out to you, but the ones that don't, they, they
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  might be completely done with you.
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  But yeah, as a narcissist myself, right, one of my biggest
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  fears is rejection. The one of the biggest thing,
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  one of the things that brings the most shame into my life is
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  rejection. I hate being rejected.
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  So sometimes that narcissistic person in your life, the
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  narcissist in your life, they hate being rejected so much that
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  they, they fear it, that it becomes an abject fear of theirs
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  that you will reject them. So they're not going to reach
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  out to you because they fear being rejected.
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  They absolutely, they absolutely do.
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  They don't want their feelings to get hurt or their heart to
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  get broken or whatever may come from this.
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  They don't want this type of stuff to happen to them.
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  So they won't not they might not ever reach out to you again.
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  Does it mean that it does it mean that they're not thinking
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  about you? No, it doesn't mean that they're
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  not thinking about you. They could be thinking about you
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  every every second of every day, but that's not a good thing,
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  y'all. I'm telling you, some of these
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  bastards would not leave you alone.
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  So some of these bastards will keep like that when they're
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  thinking about you every second of every day.
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  That's an obsession. It doesn't mean that they want
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  to be with you, to treat you better.
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  It means that they are obsessed with you and some of them think
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  that you belong to them. Some of them claim ownership
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  over you. Some of them think that you are
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  going to be there. It's forever.
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  You see what I'm saying? But not always a good thing that
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  they're reaching out. So if they're not reaching out
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  to you, what's going on inside of their mind?
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  They could be scared as hell of reaching out to you to get their
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  heart broken or their feelings hurt.
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  So they just riders just go somewhere else.
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  Thank y'all narcissists, right? A lot of narcissists love to
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  have a clean slate from a relationship, right?
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  They love to have a clean slate. They love it.
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  They love it when the slate is clean.
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  So y'all relationship might have been through so much dirt have
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  been y'all. They might have drug you through
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  so much. They might have put you through
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  so much. Y'all might have been arguing,
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  fussing and fighting for years. The relationship could be toxic
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  as hell. Y'all relationship could be a, a
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  nuclear your, your relationship now is Chernobyl.
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  You have a Chernobyl relationship.
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  It's toxic as hell, right? Because they bought this
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  toxicity into your life and now you might be exhibiting toxic
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  traits as well. Now you might have picked up
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  some narcissistic fleas. So you might be matching their
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  toxic energy, giving it back to them.
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  So your whole relationship is now contaminated, you know, so
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  they just like, you know what, I need a clean slate.
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  I need to get that though. So they they'll they'll be like,
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  you know what? I need to move away from
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  Chernobyl. I've been living in Chernobyl
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  for way too long. It's time for me to get away
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  from Chernobyl. So they leave Chernobyl, they
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  leave the relationship and they don't want to come back because
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  it's toxic as hell. The relationship has become too
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  toxic for the narcissist. Yeah, I know how ridiculous
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  themselves. I know how ridiculous
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  themselves. But the relationship could have
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  become too toxic for the narcissist.
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  You know what I mean? It's it's crazy to say that out
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  loud, but it it's just how their minds work.
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  So they could just not reach out to you again because they too
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  toxic for them. It's crazy how they sound.
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  Oh it sounds stupid but it's how it is.
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  They contaminated the relationship.
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  Look they dropped the they dropped the first nuke, they
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  dropped the first nuke in the relationship and you, you drop a
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  couple nukes yourself. So y'all both nuking each other.
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  So the relationship has become nuclear.
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  It's Cherno. You have a Chernobyl
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  relationship. You've made it this far.
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  You got, you got to drop the little radioactive radioactive
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  symbol in the comment section. Y'all drop the if you type in
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  the word caution on your iPhone, the little symbol pops up.
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  Drop it in the comment section. You made it this far.
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  But that happens. It happens so much.
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  So if they don't reach out, y'all, you might be, it might be
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  a victory for you. But I'm telling you, y'all, you
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  how many people have to go to the Police Department, have
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  restraining orders out on their exes or their partners or their
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  parents or whoever it is, and they, they just pray to be left
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  alone. They pray that the narcissist
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  gets tired. They pray for days like that.
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  They pray for times like this when the narcissist just gets
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  tired and bored or whatever and leaves them alone.
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  They pray for it. But a lot, a lot of people don't
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  get the experience there that narcissistic person is in their
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  life trying to, they they're trying to get their needs met.
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  Yeah, narcissist want to get their needs met.
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  They do. And whatever that need is, they
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  want to get it met. Believe what the hell.
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  Like when they can we, you know, how can we get them to leave us
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  alone? You know, sometimes you can't.
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  Sometimes you have to force them to leave you alone.
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  Sometimes you have to get restraining orders.
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  Sometimes you have to get like, not only do you have to get
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  restraining orders, sometimes you have to get restraining
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  orders. Sometimes you have to call the
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  police. Sometimes you have to, you know,
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  you just, you know, you know, get use the Second Amendment, if
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  you know what I mean, you get them to leave you alone.
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  So what happens in a narcissist is no longer reaching out to
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  you. What happens?
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  They don't reach out to you. It's a victory for a lot of
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  people. Some people just started
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  questioning their own worth Lane.
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  Was I not worth enough for them to Hoover ring or not not worth
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  enough? I feel like we've been through a
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  lot and they're not reaching out to me.
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  Well, what is it about me? They've reached out to all of
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  their exes. Like they reached out to their
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  exes while we were together. That's that's, that's started
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  the first nuclear bomb. They got the first narcissistic
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  rage nuke bomb after I got angry at them for reaching out to four
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  of their exes, and now they're not reaching out to me.
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  So was I not worth enough? No.
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  Yo, you dropped a nuke on their asses.
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  How you expect somebody to reach out to you if you drop a nuke on
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  them? You can't.
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  They can't. They, they don't have the
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  ability to reach out. You nuke them, you nuke them.
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  Of course it's, it's a retaliatory nuke.
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  You nuke them after they nuke you, of course, but you still
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  nuke them nonetheless, you know what I mean?
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  And this happens to a lot of people in these situations.
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  This happens in a lot of these spaces and whatnot.
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  Y'all where people in these relationship dynamics, you know,
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  they want to be reached out to, they want to be Hoover.
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  They want to be sucked back into the relationship in some way,
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  shape or form. You don't want to fall into this
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  space. You really, really don't.
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  So yeah, you don't want to follow into those positions,
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  y'all? You really, really don't.
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  Because narcissistic people are going to do whatever they feel
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  like benefits them the most. And if, if it, if not reaching
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  out to you is a benefit to them, they won't reach out to you.
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  You see what I'm saying? Like to them maybe while, while
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  they were together, reaching out to their exes was a benefit
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  because they can go out there and try to cheat and try to
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  Hoover. You know, maybe they don't think
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  the Hoover will work on them, will work on you.
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  So just like taking it, it's a kind of a badge of honor if the
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  narcissist doesn't reach out to you a lot of times, y'all.
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  But I'm not trying to invalidate anybody's feelings here.
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  I promise you I'm not. That's not what this channel's
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  for. Y'all know, we've been rocking
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  on this channel since 2021. You know, I'm not trying to
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  invalidate anybody's feelings or anybody, what anybody has went
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  through. But I'm just saying like there's
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  so many people out there that be praying to be in your position
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  and not being reached out to because some people when they're
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  reaching out, they're harassing, they're angry, they're toxic as
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  hell, they're trying to unalive you, they're trying to sit, they
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  try to break it into your house. They're doing all kinds of
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  things to make your life more difficult, right?
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  So like I said, it could be viewed as a badge of honor in
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  these situations or I, but I'll also get the other perspective
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  of it as well, y'all. So just you have to protect
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  yourself. Like if they don't reach out to
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  you, you win. I know it's hard when you get to
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  that point where you feel like it's a victory.
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  You might not feel that way right now, of course, but you
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  get to that point eventually. You get to the point where you
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  feel like you have a victory. You get to the point where you
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  feel like you have a win in these situations.
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  You get to that point where you need to get to that point.
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  I do want y'all to win. I really, I want y'all to win as
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  much as humanly possible because when you win, if y'all win and I
• 10:45
  win, you know what I'm saying, I help more people.
• 10:48
  If you made it this far, y'all might as well hit the subscribe
• 10:50
  button where you y'all make it this far into the video and and
• 10:52
  subscribe to the channel. Like let me go ahead and put
• 10:55
  y'all on some game real quick. You, I'm reaching out to you
• 10:58
  right now. I'm the new narcissist in your
• 11:01
  life and I'm reaching out to you right now.
• 11:02
  Just say, hey, look, hit the subscribe button.
• 11:04
  It don't hurt you Look just here to help.
• 11:06
  Now I'm just joking. I'm just joking.
• 11:09
  But seriously, if you have any of this for, for real,
• 11:11
  Washington, DC workshop is under is in play right now.
• 11:17
  We have our first in person workshop in Washington DC.
• 11:20
  Washington, Washington DC on September the 14th, 2024 from
• 11:27
  12:00 to 4:00 in Washington, Washington DC.
• 11:30
  The lake is going to be pinned to the comment section and it's
• 11:32
  also going to be in the description of the video as
• 11:34
  well. Get registered for that.
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  type vibes and whatnot. Super thankful for y'all.
• 11:46
  I'll see y'all in DC and other places as well.
• 11:48
  Mental illness is out. Peace.
• 11:51
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:53
  I'm extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
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• 12:00
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• 12:07
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• 12:09
  I will see you in the next video.
• 12:10
  Peace.