Latest / Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast / Ep. 90: John Kippen on rebuilding life after a brain tumor & facial paralysis

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Ep. 90: John Kippen on rebuilding life after a brain tumor & facial paralysis · Adventures in Adversity: an inspirational podcast

• 0:01
  OK, we're back with another episode of Adventures and
• 0:07
  Adversity, an inspirational podcast.
• 0:10
  Thank you so much for being here.
• 0:11
  If you're new, super stoked to have you.
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  This is basically a podcast featuring guests that talk about
• 0:19
  how they have gone from trauma to triumph and really just
• 0:24
  turned adversity into adventure in all kinds of ways.
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  So with that, I would like to welcome and thank my next guest,
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  Mr. John Kippen. Hello.
• 0:37
  Thank you, Bree. Thank you, I'm so looking.
• 0:41
  Forward to this combo. Gosh, we, we were just chatting
• 0:44
  before we hit record and I feel like I've already met you in
• 0:49
  some way just 'cause I probably, we, we have met in other ways
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  where we both been listening to each other's talks or shows,
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  right? You listened to a couple of my
• 1:00
  episodes and then I want to talk about what is so cool about you
• 1:05
  is that you have been sharing your story for quite a, quite
• 1:09
  some time now. And one of your sort of biggest
• 1:14
  stages was sharing your Ted Talk, which has over 1,000,000
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  views right in March 2019. Right.
• 1:21
  Congrats on that. UCSD, San Diego.
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  That's just to get your story out there and to impact that
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  many people, I think is just such a, such a testament to the
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  way that you are able to move people.
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  And I've just met you. So I just want to commend you
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  for that. And I, I want to thank you.
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  And I just wanted to to get to know you a little bit more and
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  talk about all things adversity because I think you might know a
• 1:53
  thing or two about struggle. I do so.
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  I was born in Los Angeles to an upper middle class family.
• 2:03
  Mom, dad and me. The three of us, both my parents
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  were attorneys. I had everything I could ask
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  for. Two loving parents.
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  Went to a private school, got involved in drama theatre,
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  learned how to think creatively, learned how to problem solve.
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  I went to college, got a degree in theater and I got interested
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  in computers and I started a computer consulting company out
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  of college because I didn't listen to anybody who said, oh,
• 2:42
  John, you need to go and get a computer degree to do that.
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  Oh John, you can't do that. I, I, I refuse to listen to all
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  of that noise and I just went out and did it.
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  And then in 2002, I was diagnosed with a golf ball sized
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  tumor in my brain, which resulted in them removing it
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  successfully, of course, but also resulted in my face being
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  paralyzed. And that's kind of when I woke
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  up in surgical recovery. My when I finally got to the
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  surface, it was like I was swimming to the surface.
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  And I finally was up awake enough to notice my dad was
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  sitting on the edge of my bed holding my hand.
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  But I didn't see my mom. So I asked for my glasses.
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  And as I tried to put the glasses on with the head being
• 3:42
  damaged, I all of a sudden saw my mom cross the room.
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  And the look on her face was one of horror.
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  And she was thinking, what do these butchers do to my poor
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  son's face? And in hindsight, I think that
• 3:59
  was the beginning of my downward spiral.
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  You know, emotionally I and it wasn't something that I thought
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  about, but emotionally, if my own mom didn't love my face
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  anymore, how was I supposed to love my face?
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  Fortunately or unfortunately, I was able to run my business from
• 4:22
  my home. I stopped meeting new clients.
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  I just had a team of guys who worked for me and I built a
• 4:30
  successful business staying at home.
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  I missed so many reunions and both high school and college
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  because I didn't want to go and have people say, hey, what the
• 4:42
  hell happened to your face? I didn't want to have to
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  constantly explain it in my Ted talk.
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  I talk about this one time where I went out to dinner by myself
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  and I'm sitting in a restaurant and there's a, a booth in front
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  of me and there's this little, I don't know, 6 or 7 year old boy
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  kitchen. And he gets up and he turns
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  around and he's looking at me. He's kind of doing the, the, the
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  Labrador tilt of the head like, huh?
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  But he gets up, but he comes over and he says, Mr. What's
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  wrong with your face? And I was like caught up guard.
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  I didn't really know how to respond.
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  And but I, you know, I knew this could be a potential teaching
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  moment for this young boy. So I started to interact.
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  And before I could really get anything out, his mom came and
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  grabbed him by the arm and pulled him back and said, don't
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  bother the nice nan. He has enough troubles already.
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  I got up and I went over to their table and I note eye to
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  eye with the boy. And I said, you know, you had a
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  really good question. You see, I had a medical
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  procedure that caused me not to be able to move my face.
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  But it's my new face and I like it because it's different.
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  Well, it's different just like yours.
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  And in that moment, the little boy who took his hands and
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  started manipulating his face to try to look my mind and turned
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  up to his mom and said, see mom, I can do that too.
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  And as I said goodbye, the little boy and stood up went to
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  my table. I saw the mom and dad kind of
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  getting really emotional because they realized that they were
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  putting limitations on their kid and protecting him supposedly,
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  or protecting me supposedly from having an honest conversation.
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  You know, in my my platform was being different is your
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  superpower. Being different is what makes us
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  all unique. So learning how to love yourself
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  despite what you're going through attracts people to you.
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  Yes. And not in a sexual or a
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  physical way, but in an emotional way.
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  Because you give off this power. You give off this secret sauce
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  that everybody wants, because everybody fights with
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  self-image. No matter how beautiful you are,
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  no matter what you look like, you're always fighting that.
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  Am I pretty enough? Am I good luck?
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  You know, Am I smart enough? Am I this enough?
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  Am I that enough? And we are our own worst enemy.
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  Oh yes. You know, I, I have a coaching
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  practice and you know, I studied that certified as a life coach,
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  but I call myself a resilience and empowerment coach.
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  I can see why. You know that my transformation
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  took 12 years. Uh huh.
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  Because it was easy to hide at home and I got comfortable
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  hiding at home. And finally I got so bored I
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  went out and started playing semi professional poker because
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  we in Los Angeles are a lot of poker card wins.
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  Uh huh. And I went and started playing
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  poker, and I realized that the people at the playing with me
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  could care less about my facial paralysis.
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  They just wanted my money. And hopefully they didn't get
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  all of it, just hopefully they didn't get it there.
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  Did you get some of theirs? I hope you got some of theirs.
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  But I did. But I started realizing that I
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  was building these friendships with degenerate gamblers, and
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  those are not the people I wanted to surround myself with.
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  Yeah. So I we discovered my love for
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  performing close up magic. Yes, the.
• 9:12
  Kid from my uncle pulling 1/4 out of my ear when I was 5 or 6.
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  I got to work with some amazing magicians growing up.
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  LA, Yeah, I mean, you're looking there, yeah.
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  Ziegfried and Roy and Oh yeah. I remember going to Vegas,
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  Siegfried and Roy, right? Yeah, oh God, they had a huge
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  show at The Mirage Hotel. Yeah, OK, continue.
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  So you're in. You're so you rediscover your
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  love of magic. So I started performing at the
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  Magic Castle, which is a private club for magicians and their
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  guests. And I would finally got the
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  courage to put 20 minutes of magic together and I would sit
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  behind a table and you got to get dressed up.
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  So I was in a scope and tie and women were in these very sexy
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  outfits. And you know the time where
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  people just show off you? Know yeah, yeah, yeah.
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  The Magic Show. Right.
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  And people were distracted by my face.
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  I you know, so I, I couldn't really get their undivided
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  attention with observer. Not in a negative way.
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  They were just saying, huh, did he have those palsy?
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  Did he have a stroke? Quiet.
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  Paralysed. So I changed my opening and I
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  said guys welcome, my name is John and I've been doing magic
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  all my life. But in 2002 I had a brain tumor
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  and when they cut on my head, they traumatized my facial
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  nerve, hence the paralysed face. But something happened to me on
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  the operating room table break and I'm not sure what it was
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  because I was unconscious. That would have all I know.
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  As I recovered, I realized I had acquired some new skills.
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  And then they would pause and I wait for the audience to get on
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  the edge of their seat. Want to know what possible
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  skills I could have acquired by having doctors messing around
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  with my brain. And I would just look to my
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  right and my left and lean in and whisper in a loud voice.
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  Guys, I am able to visualize people's thoughts.
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  And then I would do some mentalism or mental magic.
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  And that did two things. Ah, number one, that answered
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  the question that they had no, that they were not about to ask
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  me, but whatever your face, no one's going to ask that.
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  But they but they were preoccupied with it and it was
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  keeping them from being present. But the second thing that did
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  was I shared something personal about me, something really
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  personal. Yeah.
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  And my audiences rude strength when that they trusted me.
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  You know, I talk about, you know, there I am, overweight guy
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  with balding, with a realized face sitting behind a table.
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  And these women dressed in amazing outfits.
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  And they would sit down and they'd kind of be leaning back
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  and their arms would be crossed and their legs would be crossed.
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  And they're had this grin on their face, but they didn't know
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  what to make of me. They didn't know if I was going
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  to be nice, inappropriate, but they were at a place to have a
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  good time. So they were.
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  They were, but they were standoffish, you know?
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  You could feel the energy from the crowd, right?
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  Like you're. Yeah, I mean, they didn't know.
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  They kind of didn't know how to, how to respond to me.
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  They didn't trust me yet. So I started performing and I've
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  learned the best way to perform is to learn people's names.
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  So I'll go around and entertain, you know, introduce myself and I
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  have the ability to remember someone's name for at least half
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  hour. That's impressive.
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  And I would, I would use their names constantly.
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  And that's the secret is that you, you, you make a point
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  instead of saying please pick a card, you say, Bree, please pick
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  a card. And you just use their name
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  because that's what everybody loves to hear, their own name.
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  You feel seen and, like, included and like, yeah.
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  It's like a one-on-one conversation.
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  We're. Having now.
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  Yes, you're right. Oh and I would put my spectator
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  who I would make, they would make the magic happen.
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  I would just need the conduit to make a magic happen.
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  And I would see them feel heard and they would just be start to
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  get really in the moment. And all of a sudden I would see
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  these women drop their arms to their sides and plant their feet
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  on the ground. And they would start to really
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  smile and their eyes would start to dance.
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  And I could tell that they were really having a good time.
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  And the, by the end of the 30 minutes, they were asking
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  permission to give me a hug. And it was funny, you know, And
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  this was happening almost every time I went.
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  And I didn't understand it because I don't know how women
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  think I'm a man. I I don't get that.
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  It's hard to know when you're not one.
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  Yeah, I don't even know when I'm a woman.
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  So I asked a couple of them who were.
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  We've been giving me bear hugs, you know?
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  I said. Connecting.
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  Yeah. Do you mind if I give you a call
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  in a couple days and talk about your experience?
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  Because my creative problem solving brain wants to
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  understand. Yeah, what?
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  Happened. Yeah, so I can recreate it.
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  Yeah. On demand.
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  Yeah. Half a dozen women said sure.
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  Yeah. So I started these
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  conversations, I called them and we we had the pleasantries and I
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  said, OK, when you went from being like, I don't know about
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  this guy to I'm going to do the most feminine thing A1 can do is
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  give someone a bear hug. Give a stranger a bear hug.
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  What happened? What went through your mind?
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  What went through your heart? And they didn't really couldn't
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  put words to it. And I said, maybe this is my
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  hypothesis. Did I give you permission to be
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  feminine again? And many of them started crying
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  on the phone because they realized that that's exactly
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  what it was, that women in today's society are so
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  protective because they don't know what's going to happen.
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  Yeah, guarded. They immediately put up a wall.
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  For sure, yeah. And I could see these walls
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  literally start dropping to the point where they felt so
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  comfortable with me. They knew I would never do
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  anything inappropriate. And many of these women were
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  like, you know, you don't know it, but you gave me such a great
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  gift because it made me understand how important my
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  femininity is. And that's what makes me unique
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  is how I deal with men or other women.
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  Yeah. So then people started, you
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  know, I would finish this, yeah. I would sit at a bar and people
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  would get come to me at the bar and start telling me their
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  stories. You're like a magnet for.
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  It what they were going through. So I had so many people come up
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  and say, you know, I have cancer, whatever, you know, And
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  and I would spend time with them saying just listening, yeah.
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  And just saying, you know, it's OK.
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  There is. You're not broken.
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  You're going through a difficult time.
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  But it will get better. I promise you.
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  It will get better. And, you know, it's people want
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  to feel like there's something in common, You know, that you've
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  been down the road, you've been in their shoes.
• 18:14
  Yes. And that's what gives you
• 18:17
  credibility when they really feel like you're not just
• 18:23
  blowing smoke. Yeah, the vulnerability.
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  We have gone through it and you come out the other side
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  stronger. So John, let me ask you this so
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  many questions because first of all, and I always do this and I
• 18:44
  know there's so much more to your story, but I want to thank
• 18:46
  you for being so vulnerable. I think to anytime you Share
• 18:53
  your story and it's just to open up and, and talk about hard
• 18:58
  times and talk about your darkest days.
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  It's just not it's I, I have so much respect for anyone who's
• 19:05
  like, here's my story, the UPS, the downs, the all arounds.
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  And I hope it just gives people, it makes others feel less alone.
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  And it's such a gift to be able to to just be vulnerable about
• 19:19
  like, hey, you know, to get to this point where you were doing
• 19:24
  magic shows, There were some dark days, some some depression.
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  Yeah, absolutely. Right.
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  Yeah. And can you take me through a
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  little bit of that in case there's somebody on the other
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  end who is either listening in bed right now and can't get up
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  or maybe is taking a walk and they're proud of themselves for
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  even getting out of the house. Or maybe they're in the busyness
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  of their life and they're pretending everything's fine,
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  but they're struggling. I didn't like looking myself in
• 20:00
  the mirror and so I covered every mirror in my house.
• 20:06
  Because I didn't want to go and brush my teeth and have to stare
• 20:10
  at myself. You know, I just didn't want to
• 20:13
  be constantly reminded of my facial paralysis.
• 20:19
  And I would have friends say, oh, John, we love your face.
• 20:23
  We love your smile. It's your smile.
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  We love it. Yeah.
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  And I would go in one ear and out the other because it somehow
• 20:32
  didn't go down here. You know, I didn't accept what
• 20:36
  they were saying. It was lip service to me because
• 20:42
  I didn't love my face until I truly love my face and not up
• 20:47
  here. But I accepted myself for who I
• 20:51
  had become. And what helped me do that was
• 20:59
  helping others was listening and being present with other people
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  and giving the most precious thing in life, your time and
• 21:12
  your attention. And I met a gentleman named Ron
• 21:19
  who was at the castle the first time for his first time.
• 21:23
  And his friend had told me that he had received a call from the
• 21:28
  doctor that morning that his cancer had returned for the
• 21:30
  third time. And this is blood cancer and,
• 21:33
  and Ron had decided he was going to give up.
• 21:35
  He wasn't going to fight it. And so when I heard that after I
• 21:41
  performed for them, I, they invited me to join him for
• 21:45
  dinner. And I did.
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  And I, it's just that time with Ron listening, sharing my story.
• 21:52
  And if John can do it, you can do it kind of attitude.
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  And the next day, Ron's wife called me and said on the way
• 22:07
  home, Ron changed his mind and he decided he was going to fight
• 22:11
  cancer. And eight months later, it's
• 22:15
  funny, on the same day, I got a call from the Ted organizations
• 22:21
  and I had been booked to do that Ted doc and that Ron was in
• 22:25
  remission. Well, confirmation there.
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  Did I cure cancer? No.
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  Did I inspire him to fight with every Oz being to be able to get
• 22:41
  through those painful treatments?
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  I did, yeah. And I'm so proud of that.
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  That gave me the confidence to be willing to when I see someone
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  in pain. Yeah.
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  When I see someone hurting and it takes a special awareness to
• 23:09
  recognize when people are hurting, you know, especially
• 23:12
  with Facebook and Instagram, you know people will post something
• 23:16
  on their wall. And curate it, yeah.
• 23:18
  That is so unlike their character, unlike the person you
• 23:23
  know. And most people look at it and I
• 23:26
  read it and I scratch their head for a second ago, Oh, he's just
• 23:29
  having a bad day. And they go on with their day,
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  not me. I stop what I'm doing.
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  I put everything away. And I call that person and I
• 23:40
  say, you know, I, I saw your post and what's going on?
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  Talk to me. You have my undivided attention.
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  How can I help? How can I be there for you?
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  Wow. It's it's the secret to finding
• 24:02
  joy in your life is being there for someone else because in
• 24:10
  return you get such a feeling of power, you get such a feeling of
• 24:15
  accomplishment. You get such a feeling of self
• 24:18
  worth because you know, you helped someone get through a did
• 24:23
  well dime, change the direction of their lives and in Ron's
• 24:27
  case, beat cancer. It becomes, you know, I
• 24:33
  understand kind of how I'm not very religious.
• 24:36
  I'm spiritual, but I'm not very religious.
• 24:38
  And every once in a while I'll have a bornigrin Christian come.
• 24:44
  And now I kind of understand why they're so invested, you know,
• 24:53
  because they understand they they have a belief system.
• 24:57
  Mm Hmm. And they want you to believe you
• 24:59
  want, they want you to believe exactly what they believe.
• 25:05
  Mm hmm. So I kind of do the same thing
• 25:08
  without beating themselves over the head.
• 25:09
  Mm hmm. You know, from a human level.
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  It's when you say that the secret to like getting through
• 25:20
  the dark times and all of that is helping other people.
• 25:23
  I, I really understand that deeply because it's like, it's
• 25:30
  almost like a way of confronting everyone has that feeling of
• 25:35
  what pain feels like from different sources, but the
• 25:39
  feeling of being alone in your pain is pretty much the worst
• 25:42
  thing ever. It's there's pain.
• 25:44
  And then, oh, I'm also the only one in the world that's in pain.
• 25:47
  This, this is awful. And then someone goes, hey, how
• 25:51
  you doing? And you're like, I'm not alone,
• 25:55
  right? Right.
• 25:57
  Someone actually cares? Now, when you those days when
• 26:05
  you were really depressed and I know you mentioned you've
• 26:08
  mentioned it and other Ted talks and stuff was a way of getting.
• 26:13
  How did you start to turn the corner of OK, I'm going to
• 26:18
  start. I know I don't feel the love,
• 26:20
  even though my friends are saying they love me.
• 26:22
  How am I going to? How am I going to get through
• 26:24
  that? How am I going to change this
• 26:26
  self perception? It took time, right?
• 26:29
  Took 12 years, but it was me having the fortitude, the
• 26:39
  strength to put myself out there despite what I looked like, and
• 26:47
  not to give any weight to other people's opinions.
• 26:54
  I have something to give you know which is turning the
• 26:59
  impossible into the possible. Yeah.
• 27:03
  That's what magic is all about. Yeah.
• 27:06
  Is turning the impossible in the possible?
• 27:09
  I was going to say why magic and and it obviously started at a
• 27:12
  young age where you always had an interest live.
• 27:16
  My life re for the good or bad, I live my life feeling that's
• 27:20
  better to answer forgiveness than permission.
• 27:25
  And as that has bitten me in the butt, I, I must admit, sure kind
• 27:29
  of cross that sensitive line. Uh huh.
• 27:32
  Uh huh. But it's given me the most
• 27:34
  amazing experiences of my life that I would never have been
• 27:40
  able to say I did this unless I just went out and did it, which
• 27:44
  without asking permission, asking anybody if I could.
• 27:48
  One one of my examples is I was a huge Jeopardy fan and I would
• 27:55
  watch Jeopardy from time to time.
• 27:57
  And and Alex Trebek was such a such a just a brilliant, smart.
• 28:05
  Yeah. Courageous man, and he and I and
• 28:10
  I never knew that answers to the questions, but it didn't bother
• 28:13
  me. Who does?
• 28:16
  Ken Jennings, I guess, but he came out on national television
• 28:24
  and asked his millions of fans for their prayers and positive
• 28:28
  thoughts while he went through pancreatic cancer.
• 28:34
  And I heard him and I kind of got goosebumps and I said, OK,
• 28:40
  John, what can you do to help this man?
• 28:46
  And I found his daughter. Her name is Nikki, lived in LA
• 28:51
  and I found her. And I said, Nikki, I need to
• 28:53
  perform for your dad. She's like, huh, what?
• 28:59
  And I sold her the story. I said, I I've watched Alex
• 29:03
  since I was a kid, even before Jeopardy.
• 29:06
  I watched it totally. Josie was on and and he was such
• 29:11
  this role model. Culture.
• 29:15
  Yeah, yeah. You know, he was so smart and so
• 29:19
  compassionate and he asked for my help through that message and
• 29:27
  I invited him to join me at the Magic Castle.
• 29:29
  And they were like, no, he doesn't want to be amongst
• 29:31
  people at this time. And I said, So what else can we
• 29:34
  do? And, and she said, well, we're
• 29:37
  having a 75th birthday party for him and we don't have any, any
• 29:40
  entertainment. So if you want to be our
• 29:42
  magician, by all means. And I said excellent.
• 29:47
  And there you go. And I wrote a brand new show
• 29:50
  with a Jeopardy theme and, and if you go to myjohngippen.com
• 29:54
  website and click on the magic link, you'll see, you'll see.
• 30:01
  Down below in the show notes, there will be.
• 30:04
  You'll see 2 effects that I did for Alex Trebek sitting at a
• 30:09
  table right next to me. And he was such a needing to
• 30:14
  know. He, he and I were very similar
• 30:15
  in the, the way that we needed to understand how things worked.
• 30:20
  And so he was so frustrated that he didn't understand how I was
• 30:25
  doing these things, of these feats of magic.
• 30:30
  There was one time where I had his daughter sign a playing
• 30:33
  card. The playing card disappeared and
• 30:35
  ended up in a sealed envelope inside a wallet with a zippered
• 30:39
  part inside my wallet. That.
• 30:42
  Yeah, that. And I and I took out the wallet
• 30:44
  and I opened the zipper and, and took out the envelope that was
• 30:49
  sealed. And, and I, he grabbed it and he
• 30:55
  tore open and then he handed it to his daughter.
• 31:01
  And he said, if my daughter's eight of hearts signed 8 of
• 31:06
  hearts is in an envelope, I'm going to kick your butt.
• 31:12
  And she opens the envelope and pulls out her sign of eight of
• 31:15
  hearts. And he literally starts deeding
• 31:19
  on me with my fists in a playful.
• 31:21
  Manner, yeah. Yeah, right.
• 31:23
  And I'm like, no. And he was just like, we had
• 31:27
  this such special moment, you know, that he was like, I don't
• 31:31
  understand. I need to understand it.
• 31:34
  How did he do that? There's an answer for everything
• 31:38
  on Jeopardy, right? Yeah.
• 31:41
  So after the show 45 minute show and I entered the show with a
• 31:46
  video prediction. Then I got to film on the set of
• 31:48
  Jeopardy, which revealed all the things that happened live at
• 31:55
  that party. Yeah.
• 31:59
  And I can't tell you how I did that.
• 32:01
  You can't. I can't.
• 32:03
  A magician. I, I, I can't ask a magician for
• 32:06
  details. You just, you just don't.
• 32:08
  But afterwards, after the show ended, he and I went to a side
• 32:11
  room in the restaurant. Yeah.
• 32:14
  So now I just wanted to tell you how much I love you and that I
• 32:18
  heard your plea for prayers and positive thoughts and I sought
• 32:24
  you out. I found Dickie said I not going
• 32:29
  to take no for an answer. I'm going to perform for you no
• 32:33
  matter what. And here I am.
• 32:37
  And I just wanted to say thank you on the behalf of your fans.
• 32:43
  Everyone I know watches Jeopardy or has it on while we're cooking
• 32:47
  dinner. Yes, No, it's you.
• 32:51
  You, you hear it more than you watch it.
• 32:53
  You know, because it's on and the kitchen TV, it's on or
• 32:57
  whatever. There's it's.
• 32:58
  Iconic. It's like a cult it.
• 33:01
  It that that music is like all of us childhood.
• 33:05
  It's yeah, he started getting, he started tearing up and he
• 33:15
  said, John, you're the no one tells me what my life's work
• 33:19
  means to them. And I said, yeah, I, I, I had a
• 33:24
  feeling that was probably the case.
• 33:28
  So I'm here to tell you, you are valued.
• 33:30
  You are loved by millions and millions and millions of people.
• 33:38
  And your life work does matter. Yeah, it's like.
• 33:43
  And he gave me one of these hugs that just.
• 33:47
  Good. Reinforced that I was on the
• 33:50
  right track, that I was doing good in this world.
• 33:54
  Well, it's amazing to me that you, you're sitting there, you
• 33:58
  have that moment where you see him on TV and then you get that
• 34:03
  thought and then you just are determined to make it happen.
• 34:06
  And then it happens. Yeah.
• 34:08
  And it's like you can make things happen and then have
• 34:12
  these really meaningful connections.
• 34:14
  You just put effort into it. And then you can have these
• 34:17
  moments that are like, right. I mean, it's cool that you just.
• 34:22
  Yeah. You, you believe.
• 34:24
  Limitations getting your way. Yeah.
• 34:28
  You you just find ways around whatever the limitation is.
• 34:32
  Yeah. It's it becomes a mission.
• 34:37
  Mm hmm. It's impossible.
• 34:40
  There's just absolutely well, and when you and I'm kind of
• 34:44
  jumping around here, but when you mentioned like looking at
• 34:47
  these moments, like now you you're a motivational coach,
• 34:51
  resilience coach, you're an author, you're a speaker, you're
• 34:55
  a magician performer and you look at where you are now.
• 34:59
  There we go, playing the hand your adult John Kippen.
• 35:04
  OK, look in the show notes for the book.
• 35:07
  Well, actually, I'm going to give your listeners a
• 35:12
  downloadable copy of the book. Amazing.
• 35:15
  Thank you. At the end, somewhere between
• 35:17
  now and the end of this OK interview, I will tell you the
• 35:21
  link. All right, Amazing.
• 35:23
  To download the book will not be in the show notes.
• 35:26
  It will not, so you have to. Listen to the episode.
• 35:30
  You got to listen if you want. There you go.
• 35:36
  What's so interesting to me is that I I love that you're open,
• 35:41
  that it took a long time to get where you are.
• 35:46
  But at the same time, you know, you had supportive people around
• 35:50
  you, reassuring you they love you.
• 35:53
  But it's like no matter what someone says, when you're going
• 35:57
  through your own pain, I feel like the transcendence can't
• 36:03
  happen until it's like, it's, it's got to be here.
• 36:06
  But how do you, how do you do that?
• 36:09
  How do you go from believing what your friends say because
• 36:13
  you actually love yourself from like, not how do you make that
• 36:17
  shift or how did you make that shift over that 12 years?
• 36:23
  I started focusing on other people.
• 36:26
  The helping. Yeah, the helping.
• 36:28
  That's what we're talking about. You're right.
• 36:29
  That's the key. Takes you outside of yourself.
• 36:33
  It does. It makes you think about them
• 36:36
  and not your your own pain. Yeah.
• 36:40
  But you can help through your journey, help others get through
• 36:46
  their pain and you see these moments of epiphany, these light
• 36:54
  bulb moments. Yeah.
• 36:56
  Where all of a sudden they get it and they want to again, it's
• 37:04
  a secret sauce. They want some of that secret
• 37:06
  sauce for themselves. You have to be willing to lose a
• 37:15
  friendship or helping somebody because some people aren't ready
• 37:22
  for your help in their journey. They may be just not ready for
• 37:28
  it. And when you interject yourself
• 37:33
  into their life from your heart, some people will push away and
• 37:39
  push you away and hang up, you know, and you got to be willing
• 37:43
  to say I did my best and they weren't ready.
• 37:48
  And maybe they'll come back and maybe they won't.
• 37:51
  But I had to give an. I had to try.
• 37:55
  Yeah. Even the offer of like, hey how
• 37:58
  you doing? Or hey, if you ever want to get
• 38:00
  a cup of coffee, even if they reject it, it's there.
• 38:05
  Yeah. It's there even if they act like
• 38:08
  they didn't want it. They're like, oh damn, someone
• 38:11
  cares even though I'm not ready, right?
• 38:14
  Yeah, you got to be willing to lose that friendship, more of
• 38:19
  that relationship or trying to help somebody.
• 38:25
  And I think why it resonates so much when you say helping
• 38:28
  someone helps you, even when you're in pain.
• 38:32
  It, it's like, sometimes to be frank, I'm like, so sick of
• 38:36
  myself. I'm just like, I don't want to
• 38:38
  do. Can we just, I'm always here.
• 38:42
  Getting out of yourself and then actually seeing yourself make an
• 38:45
  impact. Then you're like, oh, maybe I do
• 38:48
  have value, right, 'cause you're sick of yourself.
• 38:53
  I I was. Right.
• 38:55
  No, it's definitely you. You, you were doing good in the
• 39:00
  world. That's the value.
• 39:03
  You are making a difference in someone's life.
• 39:08
  I had a a kid that I was doing some coaching and it was
• 39:12
  actually magic coaching. Oh.
• 39:14
  Cool. And because I'm a storyteller,
• 39:17
  I'm a great problem solver, so I help people come up with their
• 39:20
  own routines. Oh, fun.
• 39:23
  And I, we work together to find out what they're passionate
• 39:27
  about. And then we find a magic trick
• 39:30
  that will tell that story so that when they perform it, the
• 39:36
  excitement, the exhilaration, because they're talking about
• 39:39
  something they're passionate about.
• 39:41
  It comes through because they just.
• 39:43
  Completely come through and the audience is engaged because
• 39:47
  you're being authentic as hell. Totally.
• 39:50
  You know, they can't stop watching because you're being
• 39:55
  honest, you're being real, you're being in the moment.
• 40:03
  So I had been coaching this young man.
• 40:06
  He was, I think he was 20/21/22 and his dad was paying for his
• 40:11
  coaching sessions. And his dad called me and said,
• 40:15
  John, I was just diagnosed with six months to live.
• 40:23
  And I don't know if I'm going to be able to continue paying for
• 40:26
  my son's Niger glasses. And I said, oh, I'm so sorry,
• 40:33
  but he said. And when I told my son about my
• 40:38
  diagnosis, he freaked out and he alienated himself by me.
• 40:48
  And the one person of my life I needed support from was gone.
• 40:55
  And I know my son likes you and and trusts you.
• 40:59
  And if there's anything you can do, please.
• 41:05
  And so I called Ethan and it wasn't our day to have a
• 41:07
  session. So it was like, John, what?
• 41:09
  Oh man. Yeah.
• 41:11
  I said, yeah, we're not here to talk about magic.
• 41:13
  I want to talk to you about your dad.
• 41:16
  And I'm six years old and I been through a lot in my life and I
• 41:25
  had a great relationship with my parents.
• 41:28
  But I'm going to make you a promise that whatever this thing
• 41:34
  is between you and your dad that's keeping you apart now
• 41:37
  because you, because of this diagnosis, if you let that
• 41:42
  continue and your dad passes, you will regret it for every day
• 41:50
  in your life. And it's time to just stop
• 41:55
  thinking about yourself for once.
• 41:58
  And you need to be present and give your dad the support that
• 42:02
  he supported you for the last 20 something years because in this
• 42:08
  moment, he needs you more than you need him.
• 42:13
  And you just need to do what you need to do to mend that rift.
• 42:22
  You need to step out of your comfort zone and just give of
• 42:26
  yourself to your dad. He was like, well, I don't, I
• 42:31
  don't, I don't know how to do it.
• 42:33
  I said it's simple. After work on Friday, what's
• 42:39
  your dad's favorite food? He said, oh, he loves Hawaiian
• 42:42
  pizza. I said, great.
• 42:44
  Go to your favorite pizza joint by the largest Hawaiian pizza.
• 42:50
  Go to your dad's unannounced, knock on the door, walk in, put
• 42:54
  it on the kitchen table and said, dad, let's eat.
• 43:01
  And that was on a Friday night. On Monday, his dad called me in
• 43:05
  tears and he said, I don't know how you did it, But Friday
• 43:11
  night, my son came over, brought my favorite meal.
• 43:15
  I said yeah, with extra pineapple.
• 43:20
  You're like, you're welcome. And we had such an amazing time
• 43:28
  and we repaired anything that was going on between US.
• 43:33
  And now he's supporting me and everything I need.
• 43:36
  He's taking me to doctor's appointments.
• 43:38
  He's just, he's there. He's someone I can lean on.
• 43:48
  And when I heard that, it was like, I have value in this
• 43:52
  world. I can change people's lives, and
• 43:59
  that's why I coach people. You know, it's been really
• 44:03
  difficult to get new coaching clients in this world because
• 44:08
  everybody worried about the war in Iran or worried about the
• 44:13
  economy or worried about so many things.
• 44:18
  Yeah. And no one wants to spend any
• 44:21
  money on themselves. And it's become really a
• 44:27
  challenging thing. But I'm committed to helping
• 44:32
  people. Yeah, because that's how I feel.
• 44:35
  Worthy. Worthwhile.
• 44:39
  I'm, I'm so glad that you're doing it because it's, I think
• 44:45
  it's everybody's struggling. There's a lot of struggle,
• 44:51
  mental health, right? And I just think it's super cool
• 44:55
  that it takes a lot to have the uncomfortable conversation or
• 45:01
  the conversation with somebody that might result in them
• 45:05
  hanging up on you or them being like, why are you telling me
• 45:07
  what to do? Or like I disagree.
• 45:10
  Or it might create tension. But in a lot of times, it might
• 45:14
  just change the course of their life and someone else's, like in
• 45:18
  the way that it's kind of worth the risk, it seems.
• 45:24
  So through the pandemic, you know, the pandemic, the 2 1/2
• 45:26
  years, we're all stuck inside and stuck at home and couldn't
• 45:29
  go down. I was alone and I was feeling
• 45:33
  lonely. So I invented this game.
• 45:37
  It's called Rolodex roulette, and for your listeners who are
• 45:41
  under 30, aerobics is the thing. It's got a little yes, and it's
• 45:46
  got these pieces of cardboard with yes, names and numbers, and
• 45:50
  they're in alphabetical order and when you want to look up
• 45:53
  their name anyway, yes, today it's our phones that are
• 45:57
  aerobics. So the way you play the game is
• 46:00
  you go open your contacts and you turn the phone away and you
• 46:03
  blindly scroll up and down and you stomp on a name.
• 46:08
  And that's the person you call today just to say, hey, Bree,
• 46:14
  it's been too long or we spoke yesterday whenever.
• 46:18
  But I'm calling you because I learned this game from my friend
• 46:21
  John and called Rolex Roulette. And how the hell are you doing?
• 46:26
  What's going on? And you would have been amazed
• 46:31
  of conversations you would have because you didn't want anything
• 46:36
  other than spending the time with a friend and we were all
• 46:41
  needing that connection. Yes.
• 46:45
  And we still all need that connection.
• 46:51
  And what turned what was close to be a 5 minute conversation
• 46:54
  ended up being an hour long conversation.
• 46:56
  And you start reminiscing of all these wonderful memories that
• 47:00
  you had forgotten about working with this person or loving a
• 47:03
  person or being with this person and the trouble you got into or
• 47:07
  the whatever. And you start laughing and
• 47:10
  having such a great time. By the end of the call, they're
• 47:14
  like, well, with extra that I think I'm going to start playing
• 47:18
  it. I like that.
• 47:21
  But what's even better, we all have those people in our lives
• 47:26
  that we had a falling out with. Oh yeah.
• 47:30
  And many times you remember why. And most of the times you don't
• 47:34
  really remember why. You just know that you're not
• 47:38
  going to be the one to actually call them and say I'm sorry and
• 47:43
  try to mend that relationship. After all, all we have in life
• 47:48
  is the relationship with our friends and family.
• 47:51
  That's all that we really have money inside money doesn't
• 47:55
  really matter. It's this one-on-one
• 47:59
  communication with another human being in support of another so
• 48:05
  well for that gives you that deniability.
• 48:09
  So when you call that person that you are feuding with and
• 48:13
  you say now Bree, before you start, I'm just playing my game
• 48:18
  that I learned from my friend John and the rules stripping
• 48:20
  state, then I land on a name and I got to call that person.
• 48:26
  So how are you? Break the ice.
• 48:32
  And it takes that pressure off that you were the first one to
• 48:37
  make that reach out. Blame John.
• 48:40
  Yeah, blame me, I'll take the blame.
• 48:45
  No, it's in that in both cases where you're helping a friend
• 48:50
  and having the awkward conversation that turns into
• 48:53
  help and then also the Rolodex roulette, you're kind of putting
• 48:58
  your ego to the side and being like, like, it's very, it's
• 49:06
  humbling. It's a humbling moment where I
• 49:11
  just think I, as I'm getting older and I'm like discovering
• 49:15
  who I am and getting more confident.
• 49:17
  I wanna be the friend that is gonna have that conversation
• 49:21
  when when everybody else is kind of like, 'cause I, I used to be
• 49:26
  the like, I don't wanna, I don't wanna like, yeah.
• 49:30
  I don't wanna stir the pot. I don't wanna And what if they
• 49:33
  get mad at me? And it's like now I'm like.
• 49:37
  Who the? Heck cares.
• 49:38
  It's like so irrelevant. It's like what is what aligns
• 49:41
  with your values and is someone in pain not?
• 49:45
  How is this going to affect me if they're mad, right?
• 49:49
  Someone's in pain. They they need somebody.
• 49:51
  Yeah. And it's it's the way you
• 49:57
  rebuild yourself worth. It's simple.
• 50:05
  It's a really simple thing to do is to be present with people and
• 50:11
  and hear what they're saying, hear what they're not saying and
• 50:16
  just be willing to reach out and be a friend.
• 50:24
  You know, my with my magic backrobe, my coaching method is
• 50:29
  called the I'm possible method. I broke the word impossible one
• 50:34
  to two. OK, I'm I'm that's really what,
• 50:41
  what impossible really means is that there's always bless you.
• 50:46
  There's always a way. Excuse me, sorry.
• 50:49
  First. First on sneeze or on air
• 50:52
  sneeze. Yay.
• 50:58
  Continue. It's something that.
• 51:08
  I lost my train of thought. It's OK.
• 51:10
  The I'm Possible is my methodology on how to turn
• 51:18
  issues, stresses into opportunities just by looking at
• 51:27
  things through a different lens. And, you know, so many people
• 51:34
  are fearful of failure, fearful of screwing up, fearful of it
• 51:41
  not going the way it's planned. Secret life doesn't work that
• 51:48
  way. But miracles happen when you
• 51:58
  just put yourself out there and you don't care about things and
• 52:05
  you just try it. You know, I have AI have a
• 52:10
  method called the tripod method, which basically what came from I
• 52:17
  was doing theatre production. I was prop master and I had to
• 52:21
  build a stand, hold a pot of soup over a fire for a period
• 52:26
  piece. And I was sitting there in the
• 52:30
  scene shop with all the raw materials on the bench, and I
• 52:33
  was just frozen. I didn't know what to do first.
• 52:39
  I did not interaction. And my instructor, his name was
• 52:43
  Jerry Abbott. And he walked into the
• 52:46
  screenshot when he saw me standing there.
• 52:47
  And he was this guy from Paducah, KY, wearing suspenders
• 52:53
  and messed up hair and had a cigar hanging out of his mouth.
• 52:59
  One of his favorite raises. What are you doing, John?
• 53:03
  I didn't take you to raise boy. What are you doing?
• 53:08
  And he came over and he gave me his what are you doing?
• 53:10
  And I was like, Jerry, I'm I'm just having some trouble getting
• 53:14
  started. He says get the Frick out of
• 53:18
  your head. OK, here we go.
• 53:22
  Take those four pieces of wood. OK, make it.
• 53:25
  Make a teethee out of them. Tie a rope around the top.
• 53:28
  OK, get another piece of rope. Time.
• 53:31
  Play the legs out and time at the bottom.
• 53:34
  Hang a hook. You built a tripod.
• 53:37
  Get out of your frickin head. He didn't use the word frickin
• 53:41
  though. He put a little Kentucky twist
• 53:45
  in there. He did, he did, he did or.
• 53:48
  Kentucky Bourbon. And I looked at it, you know,
• 53:52
  when I said to myself, once I achieved that in 10 minutes,
• 53:57
  where I spent worrying about it for an hour and I accomplished
• 54:02
  it in 10 minutes, you know, I said to myself, wow, that wasn't
• 54:07
  so difficult after all. How many times in your life, how
• 54:13
  many times in your life have you said after you finally got the
• 54:17
  courage to try something and do it?
• 54:20
  Hey, that wasn't so difficult after all.
• 54:24
  Five times a day, yeah. So the tripod method is simple.
• 54:31
  You take one of those life experiences that you were like,
• 54:36
  if I had only done sooner, if I it, it was so easy.
• 54:40
  I can't believe why I was I was just And you take those feelings
• 54:49
  and the emotions and you apply a word to it, a single word, me.
• 54:54
  It's a tripod. And the next time you feel
• 54:59
  yourself up against the wall, frozen, not being able to take
• 55:03
  action, you say to your words yourself, tripod, tripod,
• 55:10
  tripod. And like magic, all those
• 55:14
  feelings of accomplishment that you felt when you actually
• 55:19
  achieved whatever that was come rushing back.
• 55:25
  And they give you that sense of what do I have to lose?
• 55:31
  Let me just try it. And if it doesn't work, I'll try
• 55:35
  something else. And if that doesn't work, I'll
• 55:36
  try something else. And then if that doesn't work,
• 55:39
  I'll call Bree. Exactly.
• 55:44
  But once you figure out what that trigger word is, and when
• 55:50
  you talk about trigger words, so many people think that a trigger
• 55:53
  word is negative. Right.
• 55:55
  But it doesn't have to be. Ah, a trigger word can be
• 55:59
  positive. I love it.
• 56:04
  A trigger word can actually give you that confidence by bringing
• 56:08
  up all those feelings of accomplishment when you actually
• 56:12
  looked back and said, damn, why did I wait so long?
• 56:17
  Man, that wasn't so difficult after all.
• 56:21
  And we all had those moments in our lives.
• 56:27
  Wow. But fear is there to protect
• 56:30
  you, you know, And so that trigger, that tripod method,
• 56:37
  like it's just my own word for it because that's what my word
• 56:41
  was, allows you to accomplish the impossible.
• 56:50
  I'm really going to use that. That is very, I'm like
• 56:55
  processing that and I I'm gonna use that because I struggle with
• 57:00
  that a lot where I get the analysis paralysis and I can't
• 57:04
  start and I'm like, Bree, what are you doing?
• 57:09
  And then you start the what is wrong with you?
• 57:11
  Instead of like trigger word, I should be like podcast or like
• 57:16
  something or like that. What whatever that is.
• 57:19
  And I'm like, oh wait. Episode 80.
• 57:23
  Totally John Kippen like, or I can even just say tripod.
• 57:26
  Story. I love your trigger word.
• 57:28
  Oh my God, it it, but I love that.
• 57:32
  I've never done that. In the moment when I when I'm
• 57:36
  frozen I usually just start going like the the flurry start.
• 57:41
  Procrastinate. Exactly.
• 57:43
  And you put it aside. You just like what that's.
• 57:45
  Too big I. That's mine.
• 57:48
  We. Want that right now?
• 57:51
  But the trigger word reminds you that you can work through the
• 57:54
  discomfort and actually, you're a badass.
• 57:57
  Yeah. Wow.
• 57:59
  The discomfort is not the task. The discover, the discoverant is
• 58:08
  the stress you put up on yourself because it's too hard
• 58:17
  or it's too challenging. It's too painful.
• 58:20
  It's not the task, it's your fear of failure.
• 58:23
  It's. Your fear of.
• 58:25
  Failure, yeah. And if that's gone, it doesn't
• 58:28
  matter and you just enjoy it. And even if it does like fail
• 58:30
  it, nobody actually cares at all.
• 58:39
  Wow, that's really good. I always say when, whenever I
• 58:44
  talk to somebody now that is gonna be John Kippen sitting on
• 58:51
  my shoulder. The next time I can't start a
• 58:53
  task, he's gonna be like Bree trigger word like it's just very
• 59:00
  applicable. I'm really glad you shared that
• 59:02
  'cause I, I know people listening are gonna be like,
• 59:04
  whoa, that's good stuff. That's why you're a coach.
• 59:10
  It's. True magic.
• 59:13
  That's the magic. It's magic.
• 59:15
  Yeah, gosh. John, I'm looking and we're
• 59:20
  coming up on one hour, believe it or not.
• 59:25
  I want to first of all, thank you.
• 59:28
  And then we're gonna, I'm gonna let you wrap up.
• 59:30
  But thank you again for just sharing, for reaching out, for
• 59:37
  being who you are 'cause I think this is like a super cool
• 59:40
  conversation. And I know I always welcome and
• 59:43
  I'm really excited when I have a new member of the Adventures and
• 59:46
  Adversity family. As I say, I want to remind
• 59:50
  people to look in the show notes because John's information link
• 59:56
  to your Ted talk that has over 1,000,000 views from March 2019.
• 1:00:00
  Amazing. I also did the documentary Co
• 1:00:03
  starring my good friend Jamie Lee Curtis.
• 1:00:06
  OK, amazing you. Can find that on my website.
• 1:00:09
  The whole story in 15 minutes. OK, that's incredible.
• 1:00:14
  So all the information is below. And John, I want to
• 1:00:19
  johnkippen.com and I want to give you the floor here to just
• 1:00:26
  kind of close us out. And like you've talked about so
• 1:00:29
  many cool things. You know how what you're doing
• 1:00:33
  now is amazing. And I know it's taken a lot to
• 1:00:35
  get here. And you've come through health,
• 1:00:38
  adversity, mental health, adversity, physical health, you
• 1:00:42
  know, all of the things that come with it.
• 1:00:44
  And what would you like to leave us with on this magical Tuesday?
• 1:00:50
  The link John kipman.com/free Gift it's a new form.
• 1:00:56
  It'll ask you for your name and your e-mail address and then
• 1:01:00
  you'll get emailed a link to download the PDF on my book.
• 1:01:04
  And my book was a Amazon bestseller before it was even
• 1:01:10
  out. But it it's kind of my life
• 1:01:16
  story interjected with words of wisdom.
• 1:01:21
  I call them It's pearls of wisdom.
• 1:01:25
  Sorry. It's got colored pictures and
• 1:01:29
  it's got QR codes. Amazing.
• 1:01:33
  As and if in the digital where you just click on them, OK, what
• 1:01:37
  it does is it takes you to a secret area on my website where
• 1:01:41
  you can watch videos of me doing all these crazy things.
• 1:01:47
  OK. And I teach a magic trick in the
• 1:01:51
  intermission. It's it's as I grew up when
• 1:01:54
  theatre, right? It's not there are no chapters
• 1:01:57
  in the book. They're acts and scenes.
• 1:02:00
  OK. And it's just like a musical.
• 1:02:03
  The intro is my overture and the conclusion is my curtain call.
• 1:02:10
  I love it. And it's filled with very
• 1:02:14
  motivating quotes said by people much smarter than me.
• 1:02:20
  I and. They're all collected at the end
• 1:02:22
  in the appendix, so you don't have to go rummaging through the
• 1:02:25
  book to find the quote that resonated with you.
• 1:02:27
  You just go to the back of the book and go there it is.
• 1:02:29
  Oh my God, I you know. But that could be your new
• 1:02:33
  trigger quote for me. Or whatever, you know, and I
• 1:02:41
  just wanted to be able to help others who help each others.
• 1:02:46
  And that's why I do these podcasts.
• 1:02:48
  Yeah, you know, is to help share the message that you're not
• 1:02:53
  broken no matter what people tell.
• 1:02:56
  You know what? No matter what you think about
• 1:03:00
  yourself, you are not broken. You're just going through a
• 1:03:07
  tough time. And there is always a light at
• 1:03:12
  the end of the rainbow, that tunnel.
• 1:03:15
  Yeah. You just got to believe in
• 1:03:17
  yourself enough to go through the crap to get there.
• 1:03:24
  You know, I talk about in my coaching and I'm sorry I'm going
• 1:03:27
  over the hour, but. No, it's fine.
• 1:03:30
  Continue. I talk about dreaming and the
• 1:03:34
  importance of dreaming. That's one of the key steps of
• 1:03:36
  my coaching program. You know, as a kid, my parents
• 1:03:40
  would have an adult friend come over and I would meet them and I
• 1:03:43
  would look up and shake their hand.
• 1:03:46
  What would they say to him? They would say, John, what do
• 1:03:48
  you want to be when you grow up? And I would say, I want to be a
• 1:03:52
  fireman. No, I want to be a truck driver.
• 1:03:58
  No, wait, wait, wait. I want to be a rock star.
• 1:04:04
  And I would grab 2 rulers and I'd start banging on stuff.
• 1:04:08
  Uh huh. Like I'm playing it and I get
• 1:04:10
  out my air guitar and start singing and I could be in this
• 1:04:13
  land of make believe for an hour, 2 hours.
• 1:04:17
  Or at least till mom said dinner was ready.
• 1:04:20
  Yeah. And then I went to school and I
• 1:04:26
  passed. I graduated and went to college
• 1:04:29
  and I started a career and I stopped breathing because I
• 1:04:35
  wanted, I was on a path. Yep.
• 1:04:39
  And you get to a certain point where you stop and you say, huh,
• 1:04:48
  you know, I've checked all the boxes.
• 1:04:52
  Why do I feel so empty? Why do I feel so miserable?
• 1:04:58
  Why am I not feeling fulfilled? And the answer is you are living
• 1:05:04
  someone else's dream for you. You're leaving your plan, but
• 1:05:10
  living your parents dream or your brother's dream or your
• 1:05:13
  coaching dream or your. But you weren't living your
• 1:05:16
  dream because you know, we're going through life and there are
• 1:05:21
  all sorts of turn offs and you might follow one of these exits
• 1:05:27
  on the freeway life. And all of a sudden you find
• 1:05:31
  that that's where you really want to be.
• 1:05:36
  And it takes draining to get that exit We.
• 1:05:41
  Love that. You've got to you've got to
• 1:05:43
  dream to be able to be be able to recognize that there is a
• 1:05:50
  offering that you can take and explore and you may choose to
• 1:05:55
  get right back on the wheel freeway, you know, but you also
• 1:05:59
  might find joy. You might find happiness and
• 1:06:06
  it's takes dreaming. It takes closing your eyes
• 1:06:10
  before you go to bed and removing all of the
• 1:06:14
  restrictions, the financial, the emotional, the whatever, and
• 1:06:19
  just saying, if I had everything in all life, what it would look
• 1:06:24
  like, what would truly make me happy?
• 1:06:30
  What would what would the my gravestone have on it?
• 1:06:38
  You know, and adults don't do that.
• 1:06:44
  They just stuck in that lane and sometimes that lane is their
• 1:06:52
  destiny. And that's OK.
• 1:06:56
  But I would say for the majority of us, it's not our destiny.
• 1:07:03
  It's worry me we may end up, but it's not truly where we want to
• 1:07:08
  be. So you have the ability to
• 1:07:13
  change the direction of your life, and that's where the
• 1:07:18
  adventure is. So much fun.
• 1:07:24
  That's what gives you the hope that you're on this Word Earth
• 1:07:29
  for a reason to contribute to yourself and to others lives by
• 1:07:39
  doing what's in deep inside of you and be willing to say, all
• 1:07:47
  right, I guess I'm taking the off ramp and see where it takes
• 1:07:50
  me. And that's an exciting thing.
• 1:07:54
  That's a good thing. Wow, that's a great I I feel
• 1:08:00
  like if I had to describe the vibe you're giving me for this
• 1:08:03
  episode right now, it's like an invitation to dream again.
• 1:08:09
  No matter how old you are, do it.
• 1:08:12
  Every night I dream before I go to bed, I close my eyes and I
• 1:08:16
  let my imagination run wild. With the things that you and
• 1:08:21
  then things that you want, then you go for it, yeah.
• 1:08:23
  Things I want to do. Things people I want to meet,
• 1:08:27
  things I want to do. What will make me happy?
• 1:08:31
  What will make me feel fulfilled?
• 1:08:33
  Yeah, you know, yeah. Forget about the regrets to joy.
• 1:08:45
  You know people say, John, what's the what's your meaning
• 1:08:48
  of life? My meaning of life's to fill is
• 1:08:51
  any moments with joy. Yes.
• 1:08:55
  Period. And and and that's it.
• 1:09:00
  Yeah, because. No matter what your religious
• 1:09:03
  beliefs are, we're on this earth for a living amount of time and
• 1:09:09
  you don't want to get to your deathbed with all of these
• 1:09:12
  regrets of the road less traveled.
• 1:09:18
  You want to go, You know I made a difference.
• 1:09:23
  Yeah. By being here.
• 1:09:26
  Yes. And I think the dream that comes
• 1:09:29
  to you when you let yourself is usually how you're going to like
• 1:09:34
  impact people. And through doing what you love,
• 1:09:38
  that's what it is like. You'll love it and it will
• 1:09:40
  impact people if it's really like yours, you know, And then
• 1:09:45
  you'll have fun doing it. And the byproduct is you'll
• 1:09:50
  inspire others to do the same. Yeah, they're like, exactly.
• 1:09:55
  Give them permission to go for it, yeah.
• 1:09:58
  And that's how we, as individuals in our society, make
• 1:10:04
  the world better. Yes.
• 1:10:07
  One dream at a time, 1 interaction with another human,
• 1:10:12
  one at a time. That's all we can do.
• 1:10:16
  That's all you can do that's. All you can do.
• 1:10:19
  Well, I can certainly say this one hour interaction, it has
• 1:10:24
  been very impactful for me. I, I looking at, I was looking
• 1:10:30
  forward to talking to you after when you contacted me and then
• 1:10:33
  your Ted talk. But I'm just going to spend the
• 1:10:37
  next few hours kind of taking this all in and realizing that,
• 1:10:41
  yeah, the dreaming is just really, really important.
• 1:10:44
  And I just thank you for reminding us that through
• 1:10:46
  adversity, through everything. So yeah.
• 1:10:51
  Well, John Kippen, guys, please look down below in the show
• 1:10:55
  notes for all the links to all the things.
• 1:10:59
  And then, John, you mentioned the link as well.
• 1:11:01
  One more time dot. Com forward slash free gift.
• 1:11:05
  Free gift, check it out. And John, I would love to stay
• 1:11:09
  connected and I would. I've never been to the Magic
• 1:11:13
  Castle, but I've heard about it growing up in Southern
• 1:11:15
  California, so I might have to. You can make a.
• 1:11:18
  Date. Let's do it.
• 1:11:20
  You know, but I think you know, and, and you didn't prompt me to
• 1:11:23
  saying this, but sharing this episode with friends is your
• 1:11:30
  first step to helping someone who might be struggling right
• 1:11:36
  now. Yeah.
• 1:11:39
  You know, I'm not yes, I'm looking for coaching clients.
• 1:11:43
  I'm honest about that. But that's not not my priority.
• 1:11:48
  My priority is to let people get strength.
• 1:11:54
  Yeah. From my triumph of regressive.
• 1:11:58
  Beautiful and like you said. Feed your heart with your heart.
• 1:12:04
  Yes. And like you said, if your
• 1:12:06
  clients say if John can do it, I can do it.
• 1:12:09
  That's. Right, right.
• 1:12:10
  Yep. You've you've seen a lot of
• 1:12:13
  adversity and, and it's just like it's whenever you see
• 1:12:16
  someone come through darkness and speak vulnerably about it,
• 1:12:20
  you go, OK, maybe I can't do this.
• 1:12:25
  Maybe I can't do? This, the vulnerability is
• 1:12:28
  second. It's like so in my back of my
• 1:12:31
  mind. You're just, it's just who you
• 1:12:33
  are. I'm just being who I become.
• 1:12:35
  Yeah, and that's just who you are, which is a great place to
• 1:12:38
  be because you're just free. So freeing to just have nothing
• 1:12:44
  to hide and just be like here's how I feel and here's what I
• 1:12:48
  went through. And here's how you can help
• 1:12:53
  yourself. You know, when I when I start my
• 1:12:56
  coaching, I'm first meeting is like my goal for this.
• 1:13:03
  How many weeks we spend together is teach you how to learn how to
• 1:13:07
  get out of your own way. Get out of your own head.
• 1:13:13
  Because we are our own worst enemy A. 100% Well, I know when
• 1:13:20
  people listen to this, I'm hoping that it nudges them to
• 1:13:23
  even consider the possibility of getting out of their own way.
• 1:13:27
  And if you're looking for some coaching on how to do that,
• 1:13:31
  check out John's website. Obviously he's offering services
• 1:13:36
  and might just change your life. So John, I know we could talk
• 1:13:41
  for hours, but for now we're going to put push pause.
• 1:13:44
  And again, thank you so much for being here.
• 1:13:45
  Really appreciate that. I.
• 1:13:47
  Really appreciated you your journey.
• 1:13:51
  Hey, I'm on it. I'm learning falling and getting
• 1:13:55
  off on ramps and off ramps and cars breaking down and then I'm
• 1:13:58
  getting a jump and then I'm you just keep going, right?
• 1:14:01
  And then you call an Uber and then you whatever.
• 1:14:04
  You just don't stop. Absolutely.
• 1:14:08
  All right. Well, John, guys, I'm going to
• 1:14:10
  wrap it up and take care and we will be connecting soon.
• 1:14:15
  John, have a great rest of your week.
• 1:14:17
  You too.