Latest / Mic Drop Comedy / Crowd Work Pack_ Super Funny Comedy Club

Transcript

Crowd Work Pack_ Super Funny Comedy Club · Mic Drop Comedy

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: For y'all to test me big fish and take a
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: group of y'all to catch me i drop quicker when
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: they start right here with the goddamn rush hour chris
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: tucker and jackiesha chan how long y'all been together what
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: do you say baby oh well he wasn't he stopped
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: blinking and everything she was like what the If you
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: like noodle, fuck. How long you been with her? You
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: been together since forever? Who talks like that? Does that
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: mean you don't keep track? You ain't been together forever.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: You weren't born holding her hand.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Hey, y'all.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that was hella racist. Now, it's for me
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: to give an Asian baby a hi-yah as the first words.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Hi-yah! I'm sorry. That's how you met? That's crazy. So
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: you've been together forever? You met doing martial arts? You're bullshitting.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: What's your martial art? You were doing taekwondo? You know,
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: what belt are you? Fifth degree black belt?
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: No, the belt.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: No, the belt. You tell me how dark you are, how? Okay,
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: white people shut the up, don't. That was a black
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: people joke to laugh at.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: White people like.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: So you were doing taekwondo and she was just in
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: the dojo? She came in college? That's what most of us,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Most of us came in college. It's about learning. She
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: went from Portland to the University of Washington.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: You went to UW? She went to UW, you just
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: visited the campus every now and then? Okay.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: This your cousin's jersey? You bullshitting. Does it say Jackson
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: on the back? then shut your up. This is obviously
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: a different Jersey. He be doing all his tricks.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: Don't be talking about me. I'd be like, sit down.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Welcome to Tacoma. Taekwondo.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: I don't know Taekwondo, but I know Taekwondo.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: He from Lakewood. He a crip. Cripping. Taekwon. That was
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: extremely clever for the moment.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: I don't appreciate this whole section not laughing when everybody
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: else had laughed. I don't know Taekwondo, but I know
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Taekwondo is crazy.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: It's crazy. And this section was like.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: What'd you say, brother? Their favorite color? The number five. Now,
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: can we interact now? You see, it's not that bad.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Thank you very much. That ice is stirred.
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Put it down. Now, what the fuck you doing? Making shingles?
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: So what's your name?
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Hold on.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: Hey, the black girl with the speaker in your throat.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I can only ignore you so much. You and this bitch.
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: Talking like it's not a comedy show. Is this your
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: first one? You ain't never been to no comedy show before?
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: You f * * * ed the movies up.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: Don't go in there! Oh, Lord Harry Potter! The Deathly Hallows!
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: The Chamber of Everybody Knows the Secret, because I'm in here.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: What's your name?
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: Rudy?
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: Right. Like the baby from the Cosby show.
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: Just.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: What'd you say? Oh, okay. Like, hushy?
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: Like, shut the up-y? Like, why are you so loud-y
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: in this? I'm trying to talk to the Asian lady
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: and black-y, if you would allow it.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Yes, you are, sir.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: And so, you really met just on campus at UW?
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: You met a black ninja, right? I know you couldn't
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: believe it. You were like, shut the up.
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: What you say?
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: Who's black? Your master's black? I'm with that sentence. Could
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: you imagine? No, no, we're not talking about karate no more,
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: we're talking about slavery. We don't serve you tight. All right,
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: so you in love, you got a beautiful wedding ring
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: on and.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: I like it, it's shiny too. Was that Jade?
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, that's racist for me to just assume that
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: you have on an Asian stone. Do you know how
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: long you been together for real? She can talk now,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: because you struggling.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: You struggling. You got that strong ass muscle head, but
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: ain't no brains in that muscle. How long, ma'am?
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: You been married for eight years? Sir, that is nowhere
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: near how long you made it sound. Okay, how long
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: you been together? You took the scenic route? I mean,
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: y'all was on the Great Wall of China?
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. It's too easy. So let me move around
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: a little bit.
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I like interracial couples because they got to blend their
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: experiences in.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? She eating collard greens with chopsticks.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: She said, I do. I like it when a new
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: dog with the green with the... Let's go right here.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Is this a couple right here? Or what are y'all...
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: It is?
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: This is crazy. Could you stand up and let people
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: look at your love? I just want them to judge
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: you real quick. If it ain't about the money, don't
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: be blowing me up. Sis said, fuck these bills. I
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: ain't working no more. What's the age difference? I thought
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: you were her principal.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: This is crazy. How old are you, sir?
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: 58.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: And you had to look up to find the age.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: I saw you. You know you got glasses on your head? Yeah,
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: you older than me. You didn't even know. And how
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: old are you, if you don't mind me asking? 29.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Hey, hey, how much is that? You Asian, how much
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: is that? Dude subtraction? You don't got the little beads?
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: How long y'all been together, man? This is crazy. You've
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: been married seven years?
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: Woo!
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Is this mail order? You used to be her volleyball
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: coach or something, like how? Is she allowed to talk?
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: She's like, I can't talk, it's past my bedtime, I'm
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: in trouble. That's crazy as a. And so you got
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: seven years? You have three grandchildren? When you that old,
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: your baby grandbabies.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: I don't give a.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: * * * *. That * * * * baby
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: came out with a cane like Rachel.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: Goddamn. I tore my leg up. You see it.
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: Goddamn.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: This is some R.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: Kelly * * * * y'all got going on over here.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: But hey, love looks all kinds of different ways, man.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: It looks all kind of different ways. I know she is.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Every day she's like, this is still alive. When are
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: you going to die? Three kids, that means y'all been
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: for real. Yeah, but you know, not all the time.
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it be IVF like that, you know. But you 58,
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: she 29. I mean, that means you've been up.
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: On top of it.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Old men don't even fuck like the people her age.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: He get butt naked and then put on church socks.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: Now you be in a slide. You like that shit, bitch?
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, papa.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: On their first date, he pulled up like a gentleman
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: and went, Tooted the horn for her to come out
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: the house.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: He's like, oh, God. My goddamn car died. Hold on
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: just a second. Let me get this going in just
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: a second. You ain't got no seatbelts. What's a seatbelt?
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: It don't exist yet. Where y'all from? Y'all from here?
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Oh. Yeah. I grew up in Lacey, so I understand
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: what happened. I ain't paying no more bills for real.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: What the baby's names? Are they beautiful children? What's that mean?
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, you are ugly, you right, but....
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to figure out what kind of game this is.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: He was 51 years old and pulled him a little
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: 21-year-old talking shit.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: Three kids. Anyways, it was nice to meet you. What's
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: your name, man? Scott. And what's your name?
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Tate.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Do she speak English? Why she ain't saying shit back? Bianca? Danica? Danica?
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Like the driver? Nice, nice, nice.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, well, it's nice to meet you. Yeah, man, I'm
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: worried though. I ain't gonna hold you. I'm actually concerned,
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: but I'm gonna move on. Let's talk to this table
• 12:00
  Speaker 1: right here. Is this a double date? That's your sister?
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: He's like, no, no, there's some in here. Don't do
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: me like that. Don't do me like that, player. And
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: so what's your name, man? Marcus, nice to meet you.
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: And then what's your sister's name here?
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: Nora. And then who are the white people? Oh, well,
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: she's not white. Who's the white man with you?
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Ryan.
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: And then Maria. What did you say? Dari.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Ooh, that's a unique name. Just keep on swimming. How
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: do y'all know each other? This looks like the United Nations.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry, what? Hold on.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Hey, hey. Rachel, she don't know how to whisper, so
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: you're going to have to write down whatever you're trying
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: to have her order. She's like, can I get a um?
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: A motherfucking um? Let me get a goddamn.
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: Um. Y'all want to hear a secret? Ha, ha, ha, ha.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: You want to survive, no break in. They're in the
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: house with me right now. No, I'm under a bed.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: They can't hear me. Like, niggas under this bed. Okay,
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: so you said those are your siblings?
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: I don't want to judge the family, but the family
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: tree got some different colored limbs on it.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: What's your nationality? Got it.
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, so then she's full native. She's not full native. Okay,
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: so you're black and native.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: And what are you? You don't know what the other
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: pieces are? She's like, black, native, and.
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: She looked at him. What am I?
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you're lost. You said black, native, and Filipino? Okay,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: and then what are you, Darii? Native, Mexican, and white.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: So y'all got the same mama? Y'all got the same daddy?
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: Y'all grew up in the same cul-de-sac? You say you're adopted? Okay,
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: that explains that. That's beautiful. That's beautiful.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: By the white man?
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: He's like, yep, that's our dad over there. He's 58.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: We are the three beautiful children that he had. It's
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: nice to meet y'all. Everybody looks very interesting. Like, there's
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: stories behind your eyes. The sisters particularly. What do you do?
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: Yes, baby. A dental assistant? Fantastic. That's good money, ain't it? Okay.
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: No, I don't need $ 100.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: I don't. I need $ 300. Get your shit together.
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: And then what do you do, Marcus? You don't cut
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: no hair? So you cut and you own the shop?
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: You cut at the shop you own? What's the name
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: of the shop, man? People need haircuts.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: It's in Florida? And it don't got a name? We travel.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: That's crazy as fuck. He need a haircut right now
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: and he be in Florida. Is that your hair or
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: that comes off when you take off the headband? That
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: look like that shit you be wearing at the Seahawks games, but....
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Is that a gap?
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: Don't try, is that a little, you got a little gap?
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: You got a lot going on, like a little Guess
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Who character. And you're keeping that gap. You're an older gentleman,
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: you've decided that that gap is adding to your personality,
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: you don't want to get that closed up or fixed
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: or nothing, just keep it like it is. It's too
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: late now? It's not, I got a dental assistant over here.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: That will push that together. You don't gotta whistle no
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: more when you talk, she can get you right. Darry,
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: what do you do? You're the one with the money.
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: Your shirt got a pattern on it. A secretary at
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: the hospital? Why do you say basically? What's it called?
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: It's medical professionals in here. We might be able to relate.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: A huck? Yeah, nope.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: Nope.
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: I never heard of that.
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: I thought that's the person that sits in the corner
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: when you fuck. I just watch you. I didn't know
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: you was a Berry fan.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: And what about the lumberjack? You work on fire alarm systems?
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: And residential or commercial?
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, so when you get called, you gotta check like
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: 50 of.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Them in one building. Hell yeah.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Do you ever do residential? You should, because every I
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: know house is chirping like a. Do you know how
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: much money you can make? If you was just like,
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: I'll do each one for $ 5. Our house would be like, choo!
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: Choo, choo, choo! It's three different rooms going on. Choo, choo, choo! Choo, choo, choo!
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: You can freestyle. I told this.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: Choo, choo, choo!
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: Before I move on from this side, how you doing, baby?
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: You doing good?
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: That's crazy that you just got your shirt with the
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: window in there and you can see everything.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: That's wild. Did you know this might happen?
• 17:56
  Speaker 1: Are you aware that I would see that and I
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: might say something?
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: You figured I would? Is that why they jumping when
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: you giggle?
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Wow. Those are crazy. Your back hurt right now a
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: little bit, huh? I know it, dude. Your lumbar is
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: burning like a hole in the bottom.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: Goddamn.
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: How many claps you got in the back of that
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: barrel right there? That's a six clasper. How many?
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: About six of them? You'd be like, well, I can't
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: wait to see these goddamn tits. Boy, when I get
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: to the... Is this a combination lock?
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: 15, 38, 15.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: Go.
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: These come out like.
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: You ever jog and knock yourself out? Nice to meet you.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: What's your name?
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: Because calling me is crazy.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Aaliyah?
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Outstanding. Nice to meet you. You are two in a million.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: All right. Let's see what we can.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: I think it's time that we go ahead and talk
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: to old Thunder Throat over here and see. Yeah, you
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: know it's you, God damn it, with that God damn voice.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: It was the 3rd of September. A day I'll always remember.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: How you doing? You good? Where are you from?
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: You're not from Tacoma. I would have heard you before.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: You can hear that at the other end of the mall.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: Where you from, man? Cali?
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: Northern Cali.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Central Cali? I would have heard you. Where in Southern Cali?
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, okay, that's why you loud, because you got to
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: speak up over the water and the crips.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: So are you visiting for the holiday? Are you a singer? No,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: because your voice is loud as. You can't hear that?
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Why, because I have a raspy voice? You sound like
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: you narrate horror movies, that's why. And then the children
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: enter the barn, the dark barn.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: Don't go in that barn!
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: You family from Louisiana? And that's why you loud? My
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: family from Louisiana and no, He right behind him like,
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: hell no, I'm from Shreveport. We don't sound like that.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: You loud like you learn how to talk in mud.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry. Don't repeat that. I'll f * * *
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: you up.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: So I want to get to know you a little bit.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: You got on nice earrings. What do you do for money?
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: You a bartender? People be up at your bar, huh?
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: Who wants a shot? Guess what time it is? That's crazy.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: And who are these people with you laughing at you
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: so hard? They don't got names, baby? I wanna meet
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: the ladies at the table. Who's this ethnically ambiguous one
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: on the far end right here?
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: Jessica, what are you?
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Hold on, he just had COVID over your answer.
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: You need some water? Or the way she sound making
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: your throat hurt? What'd you say, you're French?
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: How did they?
• 22:39
  Speaker 1: Your dad is French and he went to the hospital?
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: Military?
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Okay, okay, French and Filipino. You speak French? Okay, you
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: speak Filipino? Okay, and then what about the black girl
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: in the middle with the nice braids? Okay, you need
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: to lower your goddamn voice. I had to repeat people,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: but not her. That back corner's like, that's Sherry. That's
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: Miss Sherry. That is Miss Sherry. Why she call you
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Miss Sherry? That's like, she put some dignity on you.
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: Why you call her Miss Sherry? Like, she way older
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: than you. You act like she 58. Sherry, what do
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: you do for money, Sherry?
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: Oh my God.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: Your voice and her voice don't go nowhere near together.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: I'm a travel agent.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm trying to travel.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: Where the fuck you want to go, shit?
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: Back to Louisiana. Where in Louisiana you want to go?
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: I don't give a shit anywhere in the state. Back
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: to the mud I learned how to talk in. Yeah,
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know why you sound like that, bitch. You
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: need to get your shit together. I want to hear
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: y'all busting. Like, I don't want to be there. I
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: just want to hear. You're like, oh my God, I'm
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: about to, yeah! She's like, yeah! Yeah! I'm getting close.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Like, close? You sound like a fat man on a
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: water slide. Where's your bar at? I'm going to come
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: drink with your loud ass.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: No, we going. We going after this. All of us.
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: We going after this. Could you yell over there and
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: tell them we coming? I got $ 279. We coming.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: We about to drink up everything in this.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Yes, I'm Ms.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: Sherry, bitch.
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: Ms.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: Sherry.
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: Ms.
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: Sherry and this motherfucker, you know what it.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: Is? It's nice to meet you, Thunder Thoth and Michelle A.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: I got this.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: Goddamn.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: She be like, get somebody else. DJ Khaled. Get another one.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: I want to talk to these older white people. This
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: is outside of the normal demographic of who comes up
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: in here. Now, you look beautiful, ma'am. I like the
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: flower in your hair. Merry Christmas. Very festive. But how
• 25:46
  Speaker 1: did y'all hear about the show? You set it up.
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: You're like, somebody get me, ma.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: We're going. She's like, I don't know who the f
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: * * * this is, but I'm going down now.
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: You actually probably don't sound like that.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: You look very youthful for your age.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Maybe you might be Like somebody that's 21 years younger
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: than you.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: She like, Cam, that's my ex-husband.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: He go to Tacoma one time.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: And so what's your name, beautiful lady here in the red?
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Oh my God. Are you guys with me?
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: Like, between her and her and then Lori, that's your
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: real voice, baby?
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Ah, Lori. Lori, what?
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: This y'all grandma? Who is she to you, sweetheart? That's
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: your aunt? And Lori, where are you from? You're her
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: birth grandma? Great grandma. Wow, put some respect on it.
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: I'm a great grandma.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Where you from, Lori? She sound like Keith Sweat.
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: This grandma talking about nobody. And the band keep playing on.
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: Nobody, baby.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: Nice to meet you, Lori. And so, Lori, introduce me
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: to the family. Everybody got the same nose. Everybody is
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: all clearly family.
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: Brent? You say Brent? Okay. Slow down. They laughing.
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: I can't hear you. Yeah, slow down, Lori, so I
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: can hear you better. Okay, wait until there's a little gap. Okay,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: start down.
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: Who is that? Brent or Brett?
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: Okay. Okay. Okay.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: Who the says me during a roll call?
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: Prick Johanna. I don't even know this bitch, but I'm next.
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: Me is crazy. Me.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I think that's a sign of a narcissist.
• 29:32
  Speaker 2: The rest of the family got quiet. Oh, he's right.
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: All right, let me meet the fellas. Who's on this side? Wait, wait.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: Who's Daniel? Nice to meet you, Daniel. And then Timothy. Timothy,
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: you look closed off, man. Let your arms go, man.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Relax.
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: This your favorite auntie or something, man? Rule number three, man.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: F * * * her and her voice, man. Enjoy yourself.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: She's from New York, she don't give a about you.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: She cares about me. I didn't expect for it to
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: be like this. This is actually high quality comedy right here.
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: One time I had a bagel in Brooklyn over.
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: In Bedford-Syverson and it was almost as yummy and delicious
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: as this experience tonight.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: It's brick ass acai, yo. I met my husband at
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: the Yonkers. In a Bronx tale.
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: I had a moolie once.
• 30:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, his name was Reggie. You should just be Reggie
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: and me.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: I like you, man. Would you like another beverage? I
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: want to spoil you a little bit. Well, you haven't
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: finished that one. Maybe we should slow down. The family
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: laughed like, oh, please don't give her another.
• 31:06
  Speaker 3: You guys want to hear a story? I used to
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: know this fat kid named Christopher. I told him you're notorious.
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: That's Biggie Small. Now, what do you do or did?
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: What did you used to do for a living, sweetheart?
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: Cut fish. Cut fish?
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: Sounds like it, too, huh? You just let them know
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: when you cut it.
• 31:45
  Speaker 3: Another one is cut. But follow me, I'm about to
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: throw this over there. You better catch it, you son
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: of a bitch, you ugly. How the fuck are you
• 31:57
  Speaker 3: 58 with a 29-year-old? I've never had this in five barrels.
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: Five barrels. I've never had enough like this before in
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: my life. Cutfish, does that have an official name? A fishmonger?
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: I believe you because your head is shaped different than
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: everybody else in here. Like, your brain is in that
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: going like this. He got the tie of the Kwan
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: Ander though on his head. Okay, and so I want
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: to talk to the man that's finally relaxed and leaned
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: forward a little bit. Timothy, how are you? Outstanding.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: And so are you also from New York? Massachusetts. What part? Okay,
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: I've been there. Wasn't welcome. Who said, no, you haven't? Sir,
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: I have traveled the world. I have been where he's from.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: Matter of fact, who said that? The brother in the corner? Okay.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: Now, who are you that you feel like I ain't
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: been where he's from, like I don't travel?
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been to Massachusetts. Massachusetts. That's crazy. I've been
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: all over Massachusetts. I've been to.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Every state in this union three times, even like North
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Dakota and South Dakota. I've been to Canada. I've been
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: to Puerto Rico. You know my favorite place out of
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: all them places? Your mama house. Shut your ass up
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: in the goddamn corner. What you talking to?
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: You got me fucked up. Look at her today.
• 33:50
  Speaker 3: I get my ass fucked up. I get my ass
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: fucked up. He's got moxie. I like this.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: Laugh, Timothy. This guy.
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: Only people that talk like that, people talk like that,
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: they ain't seen no damn map. Because he thinks Massachusetts
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: is not, what's the biggest city in Massachusetts? Massachusetts. You
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: should know. That's why I asked. I'm aware, but why
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: do you think I ain't been to Boston? Why your voice.
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: Going up to her height?
• 34:40
  Speaker 3: I know you've been to motherfucking Boston.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: I know. What's your name, brother? It's nice to meet you, man.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: Nice to meet you, Tyreek. My pleasure. And who you
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: with over there in the nice.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Okay, hello, my Chris. He's like, cheers, man.
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: Personally, I feel like you've been to Massachusetts probably a
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: couple times. I don't want no smoke, brother. Massachusetts is
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: a beautiful place, man, yeah. Timothy from out there, man.
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: That's a nice hair. And so, Timothy, you look like
• 35:22
  Speaker 1: a man that's worked hard and you got, I see
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: you got hard hand position, you know?
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Most men just relax. You're like, yeah.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: So were you like a retired firefighter or something? Did
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: you do something outside?
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: You know what? That's exactly what a hitman would say.
• 35:46
  Speaker 1: She shook her shoulder like, yeah, he knows what we do.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: He don't give a fuck anymore. You think we give
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: a fuck? We'll knock one of you. We'll murder you.
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: All right. And what about you, Daniel? What do you
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: do for a living or did? Aerospace. How old are you?
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: How old are you?
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know aerospace was the thing from when
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: you was young and working. Was you a part of
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: Apollo 6?
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: You made parts for it? This table is the most
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: interesting table. Let's go down. You're the youngest one. What
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: do you do? You a goddamn great grand aerospace? Where
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: you work? Lockheed Martin? Boeing. Okay. You need to get
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: to work. It's falling apart in the air. You ain't
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: got no time to be here. Y'all see this?
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: The side of the plane just popped off, and the
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: pilot was like, everybody just remain calm. We'll be fine.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: Just buckle up. That blew out the window.
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: Oh! She was hanging on the wing. I'm resilient than a.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: I'm spilling this shit everywhere. I might as well drink it.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: So they're masturbating. It's nice to have met you.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: I'm very curious about the rest of the group, though.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: I can't even hold it. Are you all, is everybody
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: in aerospace? You are, too? At Boeing as well? Oh,
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: you don't want to get in the money. Don't chuckle.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: I know white money when I see it. Hell yeah.
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: And what are you wearing? Is that coins around your neck?
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: She's wearing money, yo.
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: That bitch has got it. She's rolling in it, I
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: swear to God. I worked 62 years at a cherry
• 38:11
  Speaker 3: pie diner to make sure I put all my kids
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: through school. These sons of fuckers.
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: And what about you? You, her daughter, or niece? That's
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: your mama? Okay. And so she's your....
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: This your sister? How far apart are y'all? Yeah, but
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: you got to slow down, baby. For this to be
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: only 16 years, it's crazy. You look like you built
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: her elementary school before she.
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: Went to it. Hey, man, I got to go, man.
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: I love y'all, man.
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: Peace.