Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Lil Rel, Tabitha Brown, Reagan Gomez & Anna Maria Horsford Talk 'Unexpected Christmas', Family +More

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INTERVIEW: Lil Rel, Tabitha Brown, Reagan Gomez & Anna Maria Horsford Talk 'Unexpected Christmas', Family +More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Every day a week ago. Breakfast Club Morning Everybody, It's
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: the j n V.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Just hilarious.
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Charlamagne and the Guy. We are the Breakfast Club. We
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: got some special guests and family members with us. The Smartest,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: We got a little round. He's back here.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: We have a Reagan Gomez tapping the Brown and Anna
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: Marie Horse for the welcomest no.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Movie Unexpected Christmas.
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: Now, this this movie takes a lot of turns.
• 0:30
  Speaker 4: It takes a.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Lot of turns.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: We'll break down the movie because it comes out this
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: Friday for people that want to go check this movie out.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: What are they expected in this Unexpected Christmas movie?
• 0:39
  Speaker 5: With about giving it a waiter, But this one tells
• 0:47
  Speaker 5: a lot because it's such a conversation piece and like
• 0:50
  Speaker 5: I have been playing Richard Is, I kind of got
• 0:54
  Speaker 5: his back most of the time.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: So I'm trying not to say stuff without telling people.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: But it is a beautiful movie. It's really funny. Uh.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: It's a lot of drama in it, but the drama
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: end up making sense and you see people come to
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: it's healthy drama. It has love in it, it has
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: faith in it. It's just and it has food in it.
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: But it is This is a different twist than you've
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: seen in other Christmas movies. And that's why I really
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: love That's why I wanted to do it in the
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: first place.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: That's a little New York, little la.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Function.
• 1:26
  Speaker 6: Yes, yes, Why does black family movies gotta have so
• 1:31
  Speaker 6: much drama?
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: Because black families get so much.
• 1:35
  Speaker 7: As long as there's resolution, that's the part. Then that
• 1:39
  Speaker 7: means we're making something good for the black family, that's
• 1:41
  Speaker 7: the part.
• 1:41
  Speaker 8: And you know, people come home for the holidays and
• 1:43
  Speaker 8: you might not have seen your family all year and
• 1:45
  Speaker 8: you've been mad at them about something, but now you
• 1:47
  Speaker 8: see them at the table, it's like, we're gonna talk
• 1:49
  Speaker 8: about this right now.
• 1:51
  Speaker 7: That's life, and that's.
• 1:51
  Speaker 9: About to come up because we've got a few more weeks.
• 1:53
  Speaker 9: We got Thanksgiving, some conversations. I have my family, you know,
• 1:58
  Speaker 9: so this movie is gonna help me.
• 2:02
  Speaker 7: It's a healthy, healthy drama.
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: Don't bring a lot of company with you if you
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: want to tell the truth, because.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: You got a new whole family on the other side.
• 2:13
  Speaker 9: Yeah, because my husband is half Mexicans, so they all come.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: Holidays and you.
• 2:20
  Speaker 10: Don't know what they are about.
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: I got one kind of work.
• 2:32
  Speaker 8: That's why you gotta learn.
• 2:34
  Speaker 10: You gotta learn now you can put. You have to
• 2:39
  Speaker 10: tell me, you know what they're.
• 2:40
  Speaker 7: Saying there you go, and what.
• 2:43
  Speaker 4: Spanish in your And I will tell you they're gonna
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: look at the baby to make sure it's his, you know,
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: check the toes and the ears and stuff like that.
• 2:55
  Speaker 10: Love man, not a.
• 2:59
  Speaker 8: Little bit like a lot of Puerto Ricans. A lot
• 3:01
  Speaker 8: of us don't speak Spanish. So yeah, but I am
• 3:03
  Speaker 8: my mom's Puerto Rican for sure.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's right, that's right. And my mother said, and
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: I said, how come you teach your Spanish? She said,
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: in case I wanted to say something bad about your father, didn't.
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: I didn't even know that about you.
• 3:25
  Speaker 6: I want to ask you, you've been part of so
• 3:26
  Speaker 6: many multiple generations.
• 3:28
  Speaker 10: Yes, can you believe it?
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: Yes? I can't.
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: How do you stay connected to like every generation of
• 3:34
  Speaker 6: storytellers and audiences?
• 3:36
  Speaker 4: I think being your authentic self that they know it's
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: something true, you know, I mean I don't have to rets,
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: but I usually tell the truth when everybody else is quiet.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: But you know, there were always children who would say
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: something and you would look.
• 4:00
  Speaker 10: You know.
• 4:00
  Speaker 4: It was one time my mother took me to this
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: friend's house. And I said, excuse me, do you know
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: you walk like a woman? And my mother said her
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: hand was so close to my face and he said no, no,
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: but do I He said, show me. I said, you
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: want me to show you how you walk?
• 4:13
  Speaker 11: And he was a little special Jesus, just say that
• 4:25
  Speaker 11: so somebody identifies with being a little off, you know
• 4:30
  Speaker 11: what I mean?
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: And my mother would say, she fell on her head
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: before she was born, so you have to excuse anything
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: that comes out her mouth. And I said, oh, I
• 4:38
  Speaker 4: didn't understand what it meant, but it meant she might
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: say something that's inappropriate.
• 4:43
  Speaker 10: And I think that's what it connects.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: With every generation, you know, I mean, because we don't
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: know when we do these things what the audience is
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: going to like. We really don't know which movie. You know,
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: I had no idea Friday was going to be as
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: big as it was.
• 5:02
  Speaker 10: You don't know.
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: Have they called you for the new one?
• 5:05
  Speaker 10: Listen that new one going for twenty four years? They
• 5:08
  Speaker 10: film me? Yeah, twenty four years? Okay, yeah, yeah, I.
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: Want to ask.
• 5:15
  Speaker 6: I know we're here to talk about Christmas, but whatever
• 5:17
  Speaker 6: y'all learned from Miss Hors, let's start with you.
• 5:21
  Speaker 10: Yeah, No, I need to know. I know this was
• 5:23
  Speaker 10: going on.
• 5:24
  Speaker 7: It was amazing, don't said. The one thing I learned
• 5:26
  Speaker 7: is I can't wait to get older and say whatever
• 5:33
  Speaker 7: because people just laugh and they'd be like, she's, oh,
• 5:36
  Speaker 7: she's so cute. She don't never lie, you know, she
• 5:40
  Speaker 7: don't lie. She she ain't got to risk. But okay,
• 5:43
  Speaker 7: that's what she said. But also, like what she just said,
• 5:47
  Speaker 7: being your authentic self promotes longevity, right. I met her.
• 5:52
  Speaker 7: We met like twenty maybe like twenty four years ago,
• 5:57
  Speaker 7: and I was living in North Carolina and went to
• 6:00
  Speaker 7: a theater festival in Atlanta with a mentor and he
• 6:04
  Speaker 7: introduced me to her, and she was so kind to me,
• 6:07
  Speaker 7: and she told me, then you just got to keep,
• 6:10
  Speaker 7: you know, being consistent, keep pursuing it, and one day
• 6:13
  Speaker 7: it'll happen. And so when I saw her on set,
• 6:15
  Speaker 7: I reminded her that I had met her. I was
• 6:17
  Speaker 7: completely different then. You know, I had some little locks
• 6:20
  Speaker 7: in my hair. I was like straight out of you know,
• 6:22
  Speaker 7: coming from Greensboro hosting, and it was just like it
• 6:27
  Speaker 7: was surreal for me to like be on the set
• 6:29
  Speaker 7: with someone who I consider like a living legend. She said,
• 6:32
  Speaker 7: And I come for so many of us. But yeah,
• 6:35
  Speaker 7: I say longevity. It's one of the things that I've
• 6:38
  Speaker 7: been blessed to witness with you, you know something.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: So we did Vacation Friends together. She played my Mom,
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: and you know my mother one of her favorite shows
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: was a man right, and so like working with her
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: was like, like I didn't realize how funny she was,
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: and she you don't notice when we shoot Vacation Friends,
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: you literally did something like my Mom. It was. It
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: wasn't in the script. I think I was like my
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: characters acting like he was kind of embarrassed. He's like,
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: so if you embarrassed by men, I just go home.
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Then you know it was but it was almost surreal
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: to wow. But like she some people just got it,
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. And so like just being
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: on set with you and just like watching you do
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: this thing where you don't even have to say words,
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: you can just make a face. And to me, that's
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: a skill set too. Like I think, like somebody like
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: you and David Allen Greer who I look at, that
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: people just make their reactions is more than a word.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: And so that's one of the things I learned from
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: just work with you because Also, You're just amazing and
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: you're so honest. You make I don't know what she's
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: gonna say half the time. That's what I love.
• 7:46
  Speaker 10: Well.
• 7:46
  Speaker 8: I met miss Anna when I was fourteen years old
• 7:49
  Speaker 8: the Parenthood and the Wayne's Brothers started off the WB
• 7:52
  Speaker 8: network back in the day. So I've known her for
• 7:55
  Speaker 8: the majority of my career, thirty years of my career.
• 7:58
  Speaker 8: And what t happ of the set is so true,
• 8:00
  Speaker 8: Like miss Anna reminds me of that time when I
• 8:03
  Speaker 8: was around Robert Townsend and all of these folks who
• 8:06
  Speaker 8: have been grinding since since the sixties and the seventies,
• 8:10
  Speaker 8: and the lessons that they give us, like she is
• 8:12
  Speaker 8: a treasure, a national treasure, and I've never worked with her.
• 8:15
  Speaker 8: So this has just been amazing you, me and my mama.
• 8:19
  Speaker 10: That's right, that's right.
• 8:26
  Speaker 9: Check out of father, because she told me, she was like, Hey,
• 8:28
  Speaker 9: your daddy.
• 8:34
  Speaker 6: What's the biggest lesson you you try to instill and
• 8:37
  Speaker 6: just people about longevity and grace.
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: I think you can't be distracted by racism, other people's
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: definition of you, your truth if you just know that
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: you are here for purpose and nobody can take that
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: from you. You know what I'm saying when people say
• 8:57
  Speaker 4: you didn't get your flowers, I got my flower, you know,
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: because I've been working much longer. I ask God for one.
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: I said, just prove to me that I'm an actress.
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: Give me one job, because you know, nobody believed it
• 9:10
  Speaker 4: except your mother at first.
• 9:13
  Speaker 10: And then you get the one job and you say, oh,
• 9:15
  Speaker 10: well that wasn't bad, and then you get another.
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: And I still every time I get a job, it's
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: like the first one. Really yeah, because somebody believes in you,
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: I mean somebody, it's not hard, you know, and you
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: look at other people. I was telling Jess, I was
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: following her for years. I'm saying, oh, she's so wonderful
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: and this, and I really feel it because you know, say,
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: look at that and something you didn't think of, but
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: you know it's the truth. And I think if you
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: just understand that we're in a world that there's enough
• 9:51
  Speaker 4: for everybody. Everybody can have five hundred Fani, Well now
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: you've got more than five hundred. You can have you know,
• 9:58
  Speaker 4: millions or whatever. Or just know that even if you
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: don't believe in a higher force, there are people watching
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: you in your neighborhood, your parents, your godparents, somebody's watching you,
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: and just make sure you feel good at the end
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: of the night. You know what I mean when people
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: about I forget that. You know, we got a story
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: to tell. There ain't no mistakes.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: How do you decide what parts you pick? Because when
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: you pick your roles, they are not the same. Amen.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: It's not like Friday, which is not like I was a.
• 10:29
  Speaker 10: Virtuous woman and somebody tried to sell.
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: A nasty story and I said, what the editor called
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: my press agency.
• 10:38
  Speaker 10: Somebody is trying to say a.
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: Terrible story about her. I said, that is not true.
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: So it's you better pick the rolls that people you know,
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: because people really believe black people now I don't know
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: about white people.
• 10:51
  Speaker 10: Black people believe.
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: This is no between reality and TV. How's your husband
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: and I do stay in touch with Cliff? I said,
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: he's fine. I got a new husband now in this movie.
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: Rico's my new husband. A few other husbands in between.
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: I can't remember all of them, but they're all good
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: to me. They're all good to me. But it's just
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: that you have a brand, even if you don't know
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: you have a brand. And my brand is kind of
• 11:25
  Speaker 4: decent human being who's honest you know what I mean,
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: Just to be honest with Even if the line is
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: I have gone up for things, I said, this is
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: not me, not me. No, No, my people won't believe it,
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: and I don't believe it. Even then I said, no,
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: there's one, and I just said I can't.
• 11:45
  Speaker 10: I said the words can't even come out of my mouth.
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: You know, it was low, low low.
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: Somebody else got it, a friend of mine, and I
• 11:53
  Speaker 4: was happy for her.
• 11:54
  Speaker 10: But no, everything's not for you.
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: I always believe that what we get, the roles we get,
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: it's somebody else that you're supposed to meet there.
• 12:03
  Speaker 10: It's not just the role.
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: God gives everybody a talent, and the talent is so
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: that you can use to get to affect the people
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: you're supposed to meet along that road. But if I'm
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: supposed to go to Georgia, the other people I'm supposed
• 12:17
  Speaker 4: to meet a long way in Georgia, it's not just
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: the movie, you know, it's somebody else whose life I'm
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: supposed to be affecting.
• 12:26
  Speaker 6: Wow, on this film, who did you meet?
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: Like?
• 12:29
  Speaker 10: Who I met all these colored people?
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: Let me just say she had a revelation because girlfriend
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: didn't know all of this mess was going on.
• 12:40
  Speaker 10: She did not know.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: And then I can't say because I haven't seen the
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: completed movie yet, but there was one scene that I
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: felt really strong, and the producers allowed me to do
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: some improvisation on it. When the child comes back, you know,
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: because children like to grow up and then kind of
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: read their parents and tell them everything they did wrong.
• 13:04
  Speaker 4: You're all shaking your head forget that, no parent, want
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: no report card.
• 13:08
  Speaker 10: We did the best week, could change the nasty diapers.
• 13:16
  Speaker 10: Listen to all that foolishness. And all I'm saying is.
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: Some things you get right, something's right. You know, you
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: be perfect, but parent is not perfect. And when that
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: scene came up, I said, oh, let me do a
• 13:28
  Speaker 4: little of this. And I haven't seen it, but I
• 13:32
  Speaker 4: hope it addresses that issue where no, no, no, you're.
• 13:37
  Speaker 10: Gonna tell me. But let me just tell you a
• 13:39
  Speaker 10: little something.
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: Too, because I don't think we look we only look
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: from one perspective, which you didn't do for me. Well,
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: let me tell you what you didn't do for me,
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: you know, because nobody gives you the handbook on parenting.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: And it's still in there too. It's like all of
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: us has been doing like this press run. That's one
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: of the most important parts of the movie. Oh yeah,
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: you know, I don't know who said it, but like
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: she's a woman too, She's like, yeah, you're human, so
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: like it's still when you see it, you'll see.
• 14:11
  Speaker 10: I think you know.
• 14:13
  Speaker 8: I was going to say one of the things that
• 14:15
  Speaker 8: miss Anna was was talking about, and I don't want
• 14:17
  Speaker 8: to give too much away, but we're so used to
• 14:19
  Speaker 8: our mothers and elders telling us do what I say,
• 14:23
  Speaker 8: Just do it, don't ever talk back to me. But
• 14:26
  Speaker 8: when you become an adult, you do have questions about
• 14:29
  Speaker 8: things that happen to you. And one of the things
• 14:31
  Speaker 8: that I love is to sing with you and Dominique Perry,
• 14:34
  Speaker 8: who's not here, she loves the show. She plays my sister,
• 14:37
  Speaker 8: but she confronts her mother and her without giving too
• 14:41
  Speaker 8: much away, her mother listens and apologizes, and that is
• 14:45
  Speaker 8: something that I really hope folks take away from this.
• 14:48
  Speaker 8: You can always apologize and do better. So that's one
• 14:51
  Speaker 8: of the things I love about this film.
• 14:53
  Speaker 6: I apologize with my kids all the time, and I
• 14:54
  Speaker 6: agree with everything y'all saying, because I think that we
• 14:56
  Speaker 6: often forget our parents had a life before ye they were.
• 15:00
  Speaker 7: Just a girl and a guy.
• 15:02
  Speaker 10: Yeah, that's very interesting.
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: I at one point told my parents, I said, I
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: want to know who you were before you became my
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: mother and father. So what I did is I went
• 15:12
  Speaker 4: back to both of their hometown and just to see
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: who they were, because I said, oh, and then I
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: interviewed them because I didn't know, and my mother surprised
• 15:24
  Speaker 4: me a lot.
• 15:26
  Speaker 10: I said, how many men you had? Mama? Camera man said.
• 15:31
  Speaker 6: That's your mother.
• 15:32
  Speaker 10: I said, I know, but I wanted and she said three.
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: But you know, after they all come out the same,
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: they want the same.
• 15:41
  Speaker 10: And I said, okay.
• 15:42
  Speaker 4: I said, well, what would you say if your daughter
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: had a lot more than that? She said, if it
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: took a hundred men to make my daughter happy, I'm
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: happy for her.
• 15:51
  Speaker 10: And I said, who is this woman?
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: Who is I mean, isn't that.
• 16:02
  Speaker 7: But it's just interesting because we don't know who they are.
• 16:05
  Speaker 4: You know, they start and then at a certain point,
• 16:08
  Speaker 4: if you if you're lucky enough to have your parents
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: live long enough, because a lot of us lose them,
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: you become the parent to this child and you see, oh, oh,
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: the kindness, the kindness, you know, it's just.
• 16:25
  Speaker 10: It's so interesting. That, and I think I'm blessed.
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: We all are blessed to be able to have a
• 16:31
  Speaker 4: fantasy of I want to.
• 16:33
  Speaker 10: Be an actor. I want people for them, I want
• 16:35
  Speaker 10: to stand on.
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: State and then you get to have it done and
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: people know you. I mean, every other black person in America,
• 16:43
  Speaker 4: especially up town, knows me.
• 16:46
  Speaker 10: That's how you know it's me. You know it's me.
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: And you meet them how they meet you in the house,
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: you know, because I have been in your living room
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: all over, on the radio, in your car, you know,
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: for a long time. So I can't laugh or talk
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: too loud because they know. I know.
• 17:14
  Speaker 6: This movie is going to empower a lot of people
• 17:16
  Speaker 6: over the holidays to have those conversations.
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: You know.
• 17:19
  Speaker 6: One of the one of my first breakthroughs in therapy
• 17:21
  Speaker 6: was realizing that my dad used to discipline me for
• 17:24
  Speaker 6: things he never taught me. And so when we had
• 17:26
  Speaker 6: a conversation and he started telling me about his own
• 17:29
  Speaker 6: issues and he tried to commit suicide and he was
• 17:32
  Speaker 6: on you know, different medication for his Once I realized
• 17:35
  Speaker 6: all that, it gave me a level of grace for
• 17:37
  Speaker 6: him that.
• 17:38
  Speaker 10: I ever know.
• 17:39
  Speaker 7: Yeah, you're lucky if we got a chance to look
• 17:42
  Speaker 7: at them like that, that's wow.
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: We also have a conversation with her. That's one of
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: my struggles now is that you know my dad has dementia,
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: and it's like, oh, you know, going through therapy and
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: like recognizing some moments where like dang, he wasn't. I
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: had to get to a point where I understood not
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: even just my dad, just people loved me. They wasn't
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: necessary hating that they didn't believe in me. They was
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: scared for me, and I was taking a chance doing
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: something nobody did, so it was more or less a
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: protection thing. It wasn't that they didn't believe you. They
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: just didn't want you to be hurt.
• 18:14
  Speaker 10: You know what I'm saying. And so like a trade school, Broy.
• 18:19
  Speaker 7: That's familiar to them. You see people who work trades
• 18:23
  Speaker 7: all the time. Same with Like with me, I wanted
• 18:26
  Speaker 7: to be an actress since I was a little girl,
• 18:28
  Speaker 7: but we didn't know nobody in my family. So my
• 18:30
  Speaker 7: mama was like, Okay, I know you want to do that,
• 18:32
  Speaker 7: but you also make clothes. So my great great aunt
• 18:35
  Speaker 7: was the town seems toss. So she said, once you
• 18:37
  Speaker 7: go to school for fashion design, because if the actioning
• 18:41
  Speaker 7: thing don't work out, then you have that. It wasn't
• 18:43
  Speaker 7: that she was discouraging. She was just telling me, like,
• 18:46
  Speaker 7: I know, we know what that looks like.
• 18:47
  Speaker 10: You can actually do that.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: So you know, let me ask you, how would you
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: be with your kids? Right, because the same thing with me? Right,
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: My mom said, get a job with a hat.
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: That was a thing.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Get a job of that hat.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: You work for twenty years, you get retired men in
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: your coboard. Right when I was a DJ, they thought
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: the DJ thing was cute. Until after I graduated from
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: college and I still did it. I was like, I
• 19:05
  Speaker 3: got enough enough.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: But now I look at it and I'm like, I
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: would never be that right.
• 19:10
  Speaker 3: But then I look at if my son ten years
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: ago saidad I want to be a gamer, I'd be like, boy,
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: if you don't get the cons.
• 19:19
  Speaker 8: Forty million can get scholarships to college now doing gaming
• 19:22
  Speaker 8: all across oh, yes, the world.
• 19:25
  Speaker 10: And I think you have to.
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: I mean it's really interesting children, you know, when they're
• 19:32
  Speaker 4: looking for advice, I said, your voice should be louder
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: when God talks to you, he tells you, you know,
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: because there's a little girl like tapas, I said, Mommy,
• 19:43
  Speaker 4: I got to go to Hollywood, and I would practice
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: walking down the steps. Of course I would fall a
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: lot because I had on heels. And she said, your
• 19:50
  Speaker 4: ass gonna be broken by the time because the Hollywood.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: And one time I was going somewhere my back was
• 19:55
  Speaker 4: I said.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: She was right.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Years after.
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: But God tells you what you were here for, what
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: you were here for. And I remember one time I said, oh.
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: My mother said, oh, you look just like a lamp
• 20:12
  Speaker 4: post girl.
• 20:13
  Speaker 10: And I said, oh, I'm a real actress. I was
• 20:15
  Speaker 10: about four or five.
• 20:16
  Speaker 4: I don't know what a lamp post girl was. It
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: was a prostitute in Santa Domingo.
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: But I thought, wow, I.
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: Put my hat on and I had something else and
• 20:27
  Speaker 4: she said, oh, and I'm just like a lamp post girl.
• 20:30
  Speaker 10: And I said, she didn't know what was me. I'm
• 20:33
  Speaker 10: a lamp post girl.
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: No, mother, I never did.
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: I never became on, but I acted like one. But again,
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: God talks to you. He tells you what you came
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: here for. There's no mistakes, even though you don't have
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: any reference. This one wasn't that, This one wasn't that.
• 20:51
  Speaker 4: Listen to that voice, Make that voice louder than any
• 20:55
  Speaker 4: outside voice coming to you because they don't.
• 20:58
  Speaker 10: Know you know, what you're saying.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: I said with my family, I had to like, I
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: remember when it was they were being combative to it.
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: But I'm like, well, y'all raised me and told me
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: I could do anything, So you raised me too good,
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: So I can't listen to what you said, you know
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: what I mean. Like, it's really interesting, but once again,
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: it came out of fear.
• 21:17
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: One of the things I love about my family is
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: that they end up apologizing. When I first moved to
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: New York and I got my first show, they literally
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: threw a dinner together and apologize. And so now to
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: this point, they are crazy supportive. Like you see them
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: with little real shirts.
• 21:35
  Speaker 8: You're teaching that, you're teaching them also, And I think
• 21:38
  Speaker 8: for our children, we always look at them as ours, ours,
• 21:41
  Speaker 8: little usses. But they grow up and they grow into
• 21:43
  Speaker 8: their own people, and then one day you need their help,
• 21:46
  Speaker 8: you need their advice, and you realize, oh, they're part.
• 21:49
  Speaker 7: Of my community.
• 21:50
  Speaker 8: And it does flip as your parents get older. My
• 21:53
  Speaker 8: mother is in her seventies and it's very much like, girl,
• 21:56
  Speaker 8: why you didn't do what I told you?
• 21:58
  Speaker 7: You know, talking back all of that. So life is
• 22:01
  Speaker 7: very interesting.
• 22:02
  Speaker 6: And also you're a multi millionaire.
• 22:03
  Speaker 10: Now they're gonna wear T shirts.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: That's a little round now, yeah, I mean that's but
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: it wasn't at first.
• 22:11
  Speaker 10: For loans either.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: You don't ask you for money, but it's tough. I'm
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: good at saying no. But like I got like that
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: beautiful old black man and me, you couldn't know what
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: I have. That don't mean I'm gonna give it to you, okay,
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: but you have strengthen that. Like I'm good at that,
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: Like I don't mind you see it. Yeah, I'm gona
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: give it to you. Grandfather afford to being a grandfather.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, I don't want nobody to get pregnant, but
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: I do. I tell people all the time, like, yeah,
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: I am in my old black man crossed my leg era.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: You said no, bro, Like no, yeah, I don't know
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: what yesterday. Maybe I don't mind saying no, Like I'm
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: good because just think about this, if anybody want to
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: ask you for money anything, be that person that I
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: irritating people. They forget that they asked me. Right, I'm
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: gonna have to tell you about yourself. You coming at me,
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: but you know something, never I don't need it, well,
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: why did you call me? I respect the people that
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: could take it, the one that.
• 23:20
  Speaker 7: Oh, yeah season, yes, you need a season.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: It's always that season when.
• 23:25
  Speaker 10: You need a season.
• 23:26
  Speaker 9: Around Reagan, I want to go back to what you
• 23:30
  Speaker 9: were saying earlier about how we were raised, you know
• 23:34
  Speaker 9: what I mean, and how we were because I was.
• 23:36
  Speaker 7: Raising two parent home.
• 23:38
  Speaker 9: But it's like, you don't ask me why you don't,
• 23:41
  Speaker 9: you know, I say, and that's just what it is, right,
• 23:44
  Speaker 9: And now I have a thirteen year old, right, and
• 23:47
  Speaker 9: we weren't even allowed to ask my mom why, but
• 23:49
  Speaker 9: I let him ask me why because.
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: He wants to know.
• 23:52
  Speaker 9: Yeah, bro, when he was bruh, you know what I mean.
• 24:03
  Speaker 9: And then I'm like, all right, I'm gonna put you
• 24:06
  Speaker 9: on your neck. But I let him, you know, as
• 24:10
  Speaker 9: he as I'm raising him, ask questions like, you know,
• 24:13
  Speaker 9: because and then I even talked to my mom like
• 24:15
  Speaker 9: I remember, we couldn't even ask you why, you know,
• 24:17
  Speaker 9: And what she says is like, I'm sorry.
• 24:20
  Speaker 7: Because that's how I was taught. The grandmother taught me that,
• 24:23
  Speaker 7: you know, And it was not abusive. It wasn't that
• 24:26
  Speaker 7: she was trying to be mean, but they were trying
• 24:27
  Speaker 7: to instill that. Uh, I guess that that respect right.
• 24:32
  Speaker 7: And some people are mistaken as fear.
• 24:34
  Speaker 6: You know.
• 24:34
  Speaker 7: No, she didn't want me to fear her, but I
• 24:36
  Speaker 7: feared them consequences, you know. And so my son now
• 24:42
  Speaker 7: I'm trying to find a balance exactly.
• 24:46
  Speaker 10: You don't want him to.
• 24:47
  Speaker 8: Be too curious, but you need to be curious in life.
• 24:51
  Speaker 8: You know, You're you're preparing him to be a young
• 24:53
  Speaker 8: man out in the world. You don't want him to
• 24:55
  Speaker 8: just do what people tell him to do. You want
• 24:57
  Speaker 8: him to ask questions, you know.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: So you're doing yeah, but see, you know, you gotta
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: be careful with that rope though, man, especially with teenagers,
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: because they like, hey, fan, look now I get it
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: you're hurt, but you don't just walk off while I'm
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: talking to you, you know what I mean. But that's
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: a part of because they do have a sense of freedom,
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: like especially like a lot of us, who who created
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: these better lives for our children? I me and my
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: daughter said something that was so real one time, and
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: I had to own that too. I'm like, cause you know,
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: you know, we got whatever our house is, and they
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: we're bored. I'm like, you got a pool? It is
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: a theater. What do you mean you bored?
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: Just so much to do here?
• 25:37
  Speaker 10: You bored?
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: But She's like with dad, I was born into this
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: type of life. But then I had to look at
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: him like, yeah, it is a perspective of I'm from
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: the West Side of Chicago that had to play with
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: the fire hydrate outside and the room pool we had.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: We don't know if it was clean because people was
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: in there with their regular outfits, like you know what
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: I mean, So like yeah, and I was like, oh, yeah,
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: I guess this is great to me because this is
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: what I wish I had, right, you know what I mean?
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: I was scared to go outside because it was crazy
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: that's going on. But but but that was one of
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: those things where you do give him the freedom, but
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: it also is it balanced because it's like, you know,
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: it's still I'm still your dad, it's still your mom.
• 26:14
  Speaker 10: And you can't I hear you.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: You can't be talking crazy. You got an opinion? Cool,
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: it's the way you say it.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: That's when your parents got to come out right when
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: they talk crazy, turn around, what would your right.
• 26:28
  Speaker 10: Actually hit him?
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: But we've been checked before. I remember, like my dad,
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: you know, he had a new job and his check
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: was short one time, and you know, we was being kids, like,
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: oh man, because he was supposed to take us a
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: piece of hood. You know, it's a big bill of us.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: And we was we was fussing. My mama pulled us
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: to the side and was like, look, that's your dad,
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: but that's my husband. You ever disrespect his check was short? Yeah,
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: it is what it is. Wherever he take us, it's
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: what we're gonna do. You going there and you give
• 26:57
  Speaker 2: him a hug right now. And I never forget that
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: moment because I was like, like, when she said, that's
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: my husband, think about that.
• 27:07
  Speaker 10: Right you be talking, don't talking about wife like that?
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's that happens a lot, especially with teenage
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: girls the whole way with the mom's things.
• 27:18
  Speaker 8: That was one of the points that miss Anna, I
• 27:20
  Speaker 8: heard you say on the Red Carpet that a lot
• 27:22
  Speaker 8: of your mother roles you had sons and this is
• 27:25
  Speaker 8: the first time you had daughters, and the difference in
• 27:28
  Speaker 8: the conflict.
• 27:29
  Speaker 7: You don't have a conflict to watch to.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: You, Yes, daughters, everything, okay, what my bag?
• 27:41
  Speaker 7: Look and you're supposed to be grounding her.
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: The oldest is twenty four, youngest is four. I'm shoveling snow.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: My daughters will be like, come on, dad, let's do it.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: I was like video window, Yeah, this is.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: My daddy.
• 28:05
  Speaker 10: Could do no wrong.
• 28:06
  Speaker 7: I remember like being mad at my mama because the
• 28:10
  Speaker 7: way she might have talked to my daddy if they
• 28:12
  Speaker 7: were having a disagreement. Like when my parents divorced, I
• 28:16
  Speaker 7: thought like I could live with my mama. I got
• 28:18
  Speaker 7: so sick that I had to go live with my daddy.
• 28:21
  Speaker 7: I was like, I love you, Mama, but I'm gonna
• 28:23
  Speaker 7: need to go stay with my daddy.
• 28:25
  Speaker 10: Come and see you.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: But I got to go stay with my daddy, and
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: mama to you after day.
• 28:30
  Speaker 7: We was in the small town, so she won't with
• 28:31
  Speaker 7: ten minutes away. I was raised and seeing my daddy
• 28:35
  Speaker 7: every single day, and I'm in ninth grade. When they
• 28:38
  Speaker 7: you know, divorced and separated, it felt like my world collapsed.
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: And I mean, I love my mama.
• 28:44
  Speaker 7: She was my best friend too, But me and my
• 28:46
  Speaker 7: daddy we like to this day. I talked to him
• 28:48
  Speaker 7: every day when I see Like when I don't see
• 28:51
  Speaker 7: him for a while, I started feeling like something right.
• 28:54
  Speaker 7: So whoever came up with mama's boy or you know,
• 28:58
  Speaker 7: daddy's girl came from a real place daddy.
• 29:02
  Speaker 6: First of all, that's a beautiful I pray my daughter's
• 29:04
  Speaker 6: have that connection with me. How do what do daddys
• 29:06
  Speaker 6: have to do to ensure that?
• 29:07
  Speaker 7: I think, create an environment that makes them feel safe,
• 29:11
  Speaker 7: makes them feel heard and seen, uh, you know, teach
• 29:16
  Speaker 7: them things that the world will try to teach them later. Like,
• 29:20
  Speaker 7: my daddy is a big talker, Honey, he would talk.
• 29:24
  Speaker 7: I remember when I was younger, I'd be like, Daddy,
• 29:26
  Speaker 7: you'd be talking a lot now you for real. But
• 29:29
  Speaker 7: now I'd be like telling my kids something. I'd be like,
• 29:32
  Speaker 7: oh my god, my daddy told me that. Like it
• 29:34
  Speaker 7: stayed with me, even though I used to think, you know,
• 29:37
  Speaker 7: because you're young, you think a little stupid stuff.
• 29:39
  Speaker 10: Sometimes.
• 29:41
  Speaker 7: He taught me so many life lessons. And my daddy
• 29:45
  Speaker 7: didn't have no sons. He just had two girls. So
• 29:47
  Speaker 7: you taught me a lot of things that you would
• 29:48
  Speaker 7: teach you know, quote unquote boys.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 29:51
  Speaker 7: He taught me how to you know, change the old
• 29:53
  Speaker 7: you know, chang's tires, look at all your stuff, your
• 29:57
  Speaker 7: time and miilia, all the things that I think that
• 30:01
  Speaker 7: he would have taught a son. But I use a listen.
• 30:03
  Speaker 7: My husband did not have a father. I taught my
• 30:05
  Speaker 7: husband how to Yeah, so he taught me how to
• 30:11
  Speaker 7: be loved by man, right, So you know. It also
• 30:15
  Speaker 7: caused conflict a little bit with me and my husband.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: We laugh about it now.
• 30:18
  Speaker 7: I used to be like, I ain't never see my mama,
• 30:20
  Speaker 7: pump gas what you're talking about.
• 30:22
  Speaker 10: I don't like my mama.
• 30:25
  Speaker 7: I was like, well, it ain't never let you just
• 30:29
  Speaker 7: like he just he takes care of you in a
• 30:32
  Speaker 7: way that makes you feel like he is the best
• 30:34
  Speaker 7: man in the world.
• 30:35
  Speaker 4: And there's an unspoken I don't know when it comes
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: for little girls, especially when you grow up with a man,
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: there's a safety valve that you could always.
• 30:46
  Speaker 10: Run to Daddy's. You don't even have to talk. You
• 30:49
  Speaker 10: don't even have to talk. You just hold that leg
• 30:51
  Speaker 10: or that foot.
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: And my big deal is I never wanted to I
• 30:56
  Speaker 4: didn't want to disappoint thought of disappointed by Larva. They
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: gave me a hard time on Amen after the second
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: year or something, and they didn't want to come through
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: with the money that they had promised.
• 31:10
  Speaker 10: And I said, you know, it's okay, you all got it.
• 31:14
  Speaker 10: I don't have to do it ever again, because I.
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: Had far exceeded any expectations anybody had for me. So
• 31:21
  Speaker 4: I can go back uptown live in one of his houses,
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: one of the rooms. He might complain about some rent.
• 31:26
  Speaker 10: But I just felt I got a daddy who will
• 31:31
  Speaker 10: take care of me. He's the rest of my life.
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: And there's something and I don't know if they tell
• 31:36
  Speaker 4: you something or you just feel it, there's a feeling.
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: And all of a sudden, this last week, I've been
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: thinking about when he used to see me, used to smile.
• 31:43
  Speaker 10: I used to make him smile all the time. And
• 31:46
  Speaker 10: I said, what was that about?
• 31:48
  Speaker 11: You know?
• 31:49
  Speaker 10: Anna?
• 31:49
  Speaker 4: You know? And I got a chance to bring him
• 31:51
  Speaker 4: out to Hollywood when I was still on the show,
• 31:54
  Speaker 4: and he was so grateful.
• 31:55
  Speaker 10: Then he said, tell your father. I said, I said, Daddy,
• 31:58
  Speaker 10: stop Sherman Hemsley, it's not my.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: Got involved in this thing.
• 32:05
  Speaker 10: And I said, it's something that you feel. That's why
• 32:08
  Speaker 10: you tell women.
• 32:09
  Speaker 4: I just feel so bad for any man who walks
• 32:12
  Speaker 4: away and see that. Parenthood is a two party check.
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: It's a check that has to be signed by mommy
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: and Daddy, whether you know them or not, Whether he
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: pays child.
• 32:24
  Speaker 10: Support or not.
• 32:25
  Speaker 4: The child needs those two signatures. They need to know, wow,
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: my nose looks like yours, my eyes look like yours.
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: You say that, or Daddy gets a joke about you.
• 32:37
  Speaker 10: Two don't have to be together.
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: But that child needs to know he comes from two
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: forces that came together to create this.
• 32:46
  Speaker 10: And like you said, and sometimes it's not talk. It's
• 32:48
  Speaker 10: sometimes just a feeling.
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: And when they look at you and you say, oh,
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: because that that's something that's not talked about enough. Right,
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: Because sometimes you do have some young women if they
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: dad wasn't around. Yeah, I've seen him, like make up
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: a version of it, right, Yeah, well it's a mill
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: my grandfather. But it's not the same No, it's not. Yeah,
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: it's literally not the same thing the connection you had
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: with your dad.
• 33:12
  Speaker 11: Right.
• 33:13
  Speaker 8: And you know what for me, my oldest is eighteen.
• 33:15
  Speaker 8: She's a freshman in college high honey. But even taking
• 33:19
  Speaker 8: her to college and dropping her off and my husband
• 33:22
  Speaker 8: was a wreck when we got on the plane and
• 33:24
  Speaker 8: came on without her.
• 33:26
  Speaker 7: And I'm like, you know, I'm independent.
• 33:28
  Speaker 8: I've been working since.
• 33:28
  Speaker 7: I was fourteen. I'm like, she's good, she's good.
• 33:31
  Speaker 8: He's like, but if something happens, I can't just get
• 33:33
  Speaker 8: to her. Yeah, and I'm like, wow, wow, that's a
• 33:38
  Speaker 8: real and as his wife, as his wife, because he
• 33:42
  Speaker 8: did his father was not around either, But seeing the
• 33:45
  Speaker 8: man that he is and the father that he is,
• 33:47
  Speaker 8: it just made me fall more in love with him.
• 33:50
  Speaker 6: That's really what you're saying. My daughter doing college Basu's
• 33:52
  Speaker 6: not and I feel the same way. It's like she
• 33:53
  Speaker 6: got to be somewhere where the village can get to
• 33:55
  Speaker 6: her quick before I can.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: My daughter went to n YU, so it was right there.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: But now but now on the other side, my son
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: go to University of Miami.
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: It was like is like it was.
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: White women galore yeh.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Yeh from my daughter play football miss.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
• 34:22
  Speaker 7: But how did your wife handle because said that part.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: They speak all the time, they FaceTime all the time.
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: But for me, I remember the first time I called
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: my daughter, she didn't answer right.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: I jet to the city. She was sleeping. I jet
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: to the city and I would on her so bad.
• 34:40
  Speaker 4: I need.
• 34:43
  Speaker 1: I need to get in here.
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: But my wife looked at me like.
• 34:46
  Speaker 7: She's living her life. She's living her she has she
• 34:49
  Speaker 7: has classes.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: Sophomore year two. This was COVID.
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: And the bad thing about New York is I went
• 34:58
  Speaker 3: to Hampton, right, so he has a but she's going
• 35:07
  Speaker 3: to She's hanging out with yeah everybody, just like.
• 35:14
  Speaker 7: You did, Just like you did. You know, now it's
• 35:16
  Speaker 7: her turn.
• 35:17
  Speaker 10: It's her, just like we did.
• 35:24
  Speaker 7: I think the part about that and what I had
• 35:27
  Speaker 7: to learn is that my daughter, my children are not me, right,
• 35:32
  Speaker 7: They're not going to do the exact same thing that
• 35:34
  Speaker 7: I did. I'm not going to think the way that
• 35:36
  Speaker 7: I thought. I think that's where I made a lot
• 35:38
  Speaker 7: of mistakes in my parenting, like you know, learning with
• 35:41
  Speaker 7: my daughter because I was like, now, I know what
• 35:43
  Speaker 7: I was thinking when I was that age, and so
• 35:45
  Speaker 7: I was projecting my fears of my own past upon
• 35:50
  Speaker 7: her and that wasn't fair for her, right. And now
• 35:53
  Speaker 7: that she's twenty four, we've talked about it, and it's
• 35:55
  Speaker 7: some stuff that I can't read parents guilt for And
• 35:57
  Speaker 7: she'd be like, Mama, I don't even remember what you're
• 35:59
  Speaker 7: talking about. And I'm like, oh, well, thank you anyway
• 36:02
  Speaker 7: for letting Mama get it out. But our children, we
• 36:07
  Speaker 7: give birth to them, God trust us to bring them here,
• 36:10
  Speaker 7: but they are not us.
• 36:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I told my daughter a couple of days ago,
• 36:13
  Speaker 6: because you know she's been driving. She got a car.
• 36:15
  Speaker 6: Now you know, she goes out, she comes home, responsor me,
• 36:17
  Speaker 6: she got a job and stuff like that. And I said,
• 36:19
  Speaker 6: you know what, I love that I can trust you.
• 36:22
  Speaker 6: It's just a feeling that you can trusty child. I
• 36:27
  Speaker 6: don't know, it's just everything.
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: Can I say one thing to you about step parents
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: and stuff like that, and you have to, even if
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: you're mad at the gentleman or you're mad at the mother,
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: understand that that child is walking around with the DNA
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: from that other person and they need.
• 36:49
  Speaker 10: To replenish that energy that's in them.
• 36:53
  Speaker 4: Because again, even if I'm mad at you, don't get
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: one guy I was working with on Amen and it's
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: far the was my father's doctor. And I was so
• 37:03
  Speaker 4: excited to say, oh, your father's and so when you're
• 37:06
  Speaker 4: telling me so, I don't talk to him.
• 37:08
  Speaker 10: And I said why And he said, I don't want
• 37:11
  Speaker 10: it to make my mother mad.
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: And I said, no, your mother knows him. But the
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: conflict because the father might have done the mother wrong,
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: you know.
• 37:22
  Speaker 10: She did, but the idea is no, she picked him.
• 37:27
  Speaker 10: She picked him, and it's okay.
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: So it's not that you're violating your mother's trust by
• 37:32
  Speaker 4: talking to your father, you know.
• 37:35
  Speaker 10: So we have to be really open.
• 37:37
  Speaker 4: And saying even though I don't like, I want you
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: to continue to like if you can just be gentle
• 37:43
  Speaker 4: just if he wants to send a card or encourage
• 37:46
  Speaker 4: him sometimes just call your father say hello, don't use
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: the kids, don't Yeah, and you don't know, we're we're
• 37:53
  Speaker 4: we're doing it.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: Well. This is just with your book too, And it's
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: funn because I was hearing you talk about it. I mean,
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: co parenting is so it's it's a humbling experience where
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: you have to take your personal feelings out of it
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: for the it has to go. And then if you
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: know you're able to you know, one of the things
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: I love, you know, with my ex wife was that
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: we was able to have a real conversation at some
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: point when we put all the ego stuff once we
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: once we did that and it was like, all right,
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: we can talk about what we did wrong if you
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: want to just get out, let's just get that out there,
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: because we ain't gonna get back together. Let's just talk
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: about Its no point of being like we were cool
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: at one point, you know, what I'm saying. So, like
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: when you do that and then you just focus on
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: those children, it's weird because sometimes it's hard for like
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: even when you have a newer person, they could get
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: a little irritated with your co parenting relationship. Fam, I'm
• 38:46
  Speaker 2: keeping the peace.
• 38:46
  Speaker 10: Yes, I hear it.
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: Yes, listen, but yeah, this is cool.
• 38:53
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes, because it wasn't cool at one.
• 39:00
  Speaker 6: Just one quick question, and it's in regards to the
• 39:02
  Speaker 6: movie and everything we're talking about. Now, do you personally
• 39:04
  Speaker 6: believe that family should always be forgiven? I know we're
• 39:06
  Speaker 6: talking about stepparents, but.
• 39:07
  Speaker 10: Just its.
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: That's a good question.
• 39:24
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I believe everyone can be forgiven. Right, forgiveness is
• 39:30
  Speaker 7: not for the other person, it's for you. And so forgiveness,
• 39:36
  Speaker 7: even in family doesn't mean we have to be together forget.
• 39:42
  Speaker 7: It doesn't mean that you have to be back in
• 39:44
  Speaker 7: my life. It just means I have forgiven you and
• 39:46
  Speaker 7: I'm going about my business.
• 39:48
  Speaker 9: Yeah, you got some some deep pain though, like from
• 39:51
  Speaker 9: some family members that just can't reverse.
• 39:54
  Speaker 8: Like especially if they're not asking for your forgiveness, if
• 39:58
  Speaker 8: they don't see nothing wrong, then it makes it hard
• 40:01
  Speaker 8: for even if you want to forgive.
• 40:02
  Speaker 7: Yeah, But that's the thing about forgiveness. When it's for you,
• 40:06
  Speaker 7: you don't have to say it to that person. It's
• 40:08
  Speaker 7: so that you can move forward in your life without hinderance, right,
• 40:13
  Speaker 7: because sometimes you can hold something against someone and it
• 40:17
  Speaker 7: holds you back, right, you can't move forward. So it's
• 40:20
  Speaker 7: not for them, right, especially because we've all been hurt
• 40:25
  Speaker 7: and there's some things that people do that feels like
• 40:27
  Speaker 7: that is it can't be forgiven, Like it just can't.
• 40:31
  Speaker 7: But to them, they may go to you know, they
• 40:33
  Speaker 7: rest in place feeling like you never forgave them, and
• 40:37
  Speaker 7: that's their business to feel. For you to live your
• 40:39
  Speaker 7: life in peace, forgiveness has to live in your heart.
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you gotta trust. I mean if it depends if
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: you're a person of faith, but you just got to
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: trust God.
• 40:47
  Speaker 10: Let God do it God.
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: I think we really don't understand how much we have
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: to mind our own business when it comes to faith.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: I don't need to see God's vengeance on you. Whatever
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: God does with you, that's just what. Because I may
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: forgive you and not even be as angry as I
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: want God to be because all of our father So
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: it's like I'm doing this because I want I went
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: to see a play called Old Happy Day. That's that's
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: out here. Oh man, it's so good and it's a
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: great song they have really with that subject. It's you know,
• 41:15
  Speaker 2: it's a song. I don't know the lyrics exactly. I
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: heard the yesterday, but it's like, can you forgive the
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: personal situation that hurts you the most? And it was
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: God asking that question to Jordan's Cooper's character, because that's
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: how you move on. You gotta move You can't sit
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: in that, you know what I mean, because it really
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: affects you and you can't get it. Ain't about me
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: saying what. I don't need nothing from you. I don't
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: need you to say. It is what it is. I
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: forgive you and we ain't got to talk again.
• 41:42
  Speaker 9: I wonder what that looks like though, I wonder what
• 41:44
  Speaker 9: it looks like forgiving somebody training God talk to you
• 41:47
  Speaker 9: know what I mean, like, like, what.
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: Does that look like?
• 41:53
  Speaker 7: And it looks like freedom, freed, it's a feel like yeah,
• 42:00
  Speaker 7: it looks and feels like joy, happiness, Like you can
• 42:03
  Speaker 7: see somebody be like they went through all that and
• 42:05
  Speaker 7: they still looking they're still showing us.
• 42:07
  Speaker 8: Because it takes a lot of energy to hold on
• 42:09
  Speaker 8: to that, to that anger, whatever it is.
• 42:11
  Speaker 7: So you're absolutely right. And also, like when you think
• 42:14
  Speaker 7: about like matters of the heart, you know, most people
• 42:17
  Speaker 7: hurt you. They hurt your heart, right. You know, if
• 42:20
  Speaker 7: you think forgiveness is something that has to happen, it's
• 42:23
  Speaker 7: not about like it hurts your feelings, it hurts your heart.
• 42:26
  Speaker 7: So whether that whatever that thing was, say it was
• 42:29
  Speaker 7: a past relationship, the longer you hold the grudge, the
• 42:33
  Speaker 7: longer you block that.
• 42:34
  Speaker 10: Part of the heart. For you to be loved, to eat, there.
• 42:39
  Speaker 7: Have to release so that we can get what God
• 42:42
  Speaker 7: has for us.
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: There you go. Oh, this is.
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Axpected Christmas is this Friday. Thank you so much for
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: joining us.
• 42:54
  Speaker 8: Thank you.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: Right now, it's the Breakfast Club.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: The morning.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, hold up, every day I wake up, pack your
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: ass up the Breakfast Club.
• 43:06
  Speaker 10: You're finished, y'all done,