Latest / Drawn of History / Ari Matti Got Cornered in the Woods of Vancouver(M4A_128K)

Transcript

Ari Matti Got Cornered in the Woods of Vancouver(M4A_128K) · Drawn of History

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Well, they had that praying the gay out of children. Remember,
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: that was a big thing.
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: Not for us, but big in America. In America. Pray
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: the gay away, pray the gay away. Yeah.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: And it's always the gayest guy telling you to pray.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: And it's funny that they send you to a camp
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: filled with 40 dudes and deep in the woods with
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: no contact to the outside world.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Seems like a great place. They even tell you, even
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: God shut his eyes for this one. Don't worry. The
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: next two weeks, we are free in the river, brother.
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: Free at last, brother.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Free at last.
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: Well, gays, you know, I grew up around it. Have
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: you ever seen a rest area in America? Like a
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: rest stop? Yes, a rest stop. That's where you suck, suck, suck, suck.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: It was a big thing. And they shut it down
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: for a while. They started putting glyphosate in the backyard
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: there and stuff like that.
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: They tried to shut it down.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: You don't stop gay people from fucking, do you? Well, look.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like, it'll kill weeds, but it's not stopping some
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: of these sexual trends. But they had a lot of
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: gays in our area, they would meet up behind there.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: And they had a river back there and they'd get out,
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: they'd do drugs and get out in the river and
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: hug and everything.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Gay people love to fuck in a bush. Why?
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: I don't know, yeah, it's like, get a hotel, it's
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: okay now. But it's like, when I went to, I
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: used to live in Vancouver, When I moved there, literally
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: first night when I moved there, I went for a
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: walk in Stanley Park.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: It's the local park next to the city.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: Oh, I've been there. It's beautiful.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Oh, oh.
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: Goes right along the water.
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: It's literally like you become a werewolf there. It's like
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: so nice and quiet. First time I was there, I.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: Got a little high.
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: I was deep in the woods thinking of my own things.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: And it's like so quiet and serene. And then I'm like...
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I take my shirt off. It's like sunny.
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: I get some sun. I get a little tan going.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: I do a little push-ups. I do a little shadow boxing.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: I'm alone in the woods.
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: Okay, of course. This is natural, yeah.
• 1:52
  Speaker 2: This is natural. You do a little push-ups. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: This is like a deleted scene from the Bible, I
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: feel like. Let's hear more. I want to hear more
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: about it.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: Deleted scene from the Bible.
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: Bro, if you and me made deleted scenes from the Bible.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: Now that's funny. Deleted scenes from the Bible is a
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: funny concept.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: Anyway, I interrupted you. I'm doing a little push-ups. I'm
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: getting a little glisten going. Then I see a guy
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: like walking past and it's, when guys trying to fuck,
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: it's a look they have. It's just the way they move.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: It's like he's walking one way, but he's looking at
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: me like this. He's got his sunglasses on, but he's
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: peeking over the sunglasses, right? Right.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: So everything he's doing, he's doing something separate. Like he's
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: walking one way, but looking another way. He's got sunglasses on,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: but he's got them down and looking over.
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: So he's... He's establishing contact. First contact. Yes, sir. Yes,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: he is. He keeps walking. I keep boxing.
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: Now you're boxing harder.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm trying to be like, look at this shit.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: You don't want none of this.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: And then... Five minutes go by, he comes out of
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: another bush. I hear a crack, and I'm like, now
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: he's closer. So now I take my music out because
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: I need all my senses. This might be an ambush.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: There might be several of them. This is like a
• 3:09
  Speaker 3: room of mirrors, which is the real guy trying to
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: fuck me, dude.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: Oh, that's crazy.
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so I need all my senses. That'd be
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: a cool game. So I'm trying to get sober. I
• 3:18
  Speaker 3: throw some water on my face. I need to be sharp.
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: I put my backpack on.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: I'm about to.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: I have to fuck my way out of this forest.
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: You fix your hip really quick.
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: I start warming up. So then he comes. Hey, man.
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: And I try to give him a hey, man, but
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: not a hey, man. Not a friendly one. I give
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: him a hey, man, like a little.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: Like, what are we doing here?
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Hey, man.
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: Hey, man.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: He goes, you want a beer? I go, nah, I
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: don't want a beer.
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Then I realize, oh, oh, he's out here. And
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: then he disappears. I change location. Different guy. Like another one.
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Backpack. He's looking like he's been in the woods for
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: days looking for Dick. Wow. And this new guy.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: Like, where's Dick, though? Yeah. Kind of like where's Waldo,
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: but a little different. Like, where's Dick, though?
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: And he walks past. Same look.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: Just a full eye contact. And now I see there's
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: a cock hanging from. He's got it out. He's got
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: it out. Maybe he heard.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe like down at the base. Like that was
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: the messenger. We got one. Yeah, yeah. And it's kind
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: of on me.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: I mean, I'm a little like a gay superhero. I know,
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: it's kind of on me, by the way.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you're like a piece of bait in the woods.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: You've set your shadow boxing, which shadow boxing is, but
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: here's what it gives, I think. It gives this idea, oh,
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I wish somebody else were here with me.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: Exactly. Oh, the shadow. I need someone to be the shadow.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Right. So then the guy just paints himself black and
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: it starts just like laying connected to your feet.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Then I see his cock. Now I'm kind of offended.
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: And both, by the way, you know what I was offended?
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: Both those guys looked like absolute ass. Like 50 years old.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: I'm a beautiful angel. I'm like 26 years old at
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: my prime. I'm doing shadow boxing. Even if I fuck you.
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: The others would never believe you. Like, dude, I would
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: be like a myth that they talk about in the
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: gay circle for years. There's this blue-eyed... Yeah, yeah. If
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: you stay in Stanley Park long enough, an angel will appear.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: So.
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: God dang, bro.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: And I'm like... And it's funny. It's my first time being, like,
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: kind of, like, sexually assaulted, I would say.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: And it's funny. It kind of put things into perspective
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: for me as well, how, like, it's not....
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: Tell it.
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: It's not that I can't beat the fuck out of you.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: I don't feel threatened like a woman with a bigger
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: man would in that situation.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: But the fact you're showing me your cock makes me
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: feel like a bitch.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Let me think about it for a second. If I've
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: ever seen somebody's cock, how did I feel about it?
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: And he was shaking.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: He was giving a little shake and looking straight into
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: my eyes, just giving me a little shake.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, I didn't know all that. That's a lot. That's
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: like almost... Come on, boy.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: It's like, wow, you know? That's like a dog treat
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: or something.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: I know.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: So that I could understand. You feel like, oh, like
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: you're being summoned or something maybe?
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: And the cock he had, it looked like it spinned
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: through a hole. Like, I don't know, his last partner
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: was a train or like heavy. His last partner was
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: a long winter.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: That's pretty wild, brother.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: So he keeps, and I literally don't know what to say.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: I act like it's none of my business.
• 6:47
  Speaker 4: What do you mean?
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: How do you act like someone's cock isn't in your business?
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I know how you do because that's what we do
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: all the time.
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: It's us in the woods.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: I don't even, I'm never, so I keep walking like
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: fast and I look over. Now I'm getting like nervous.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: They're circling me.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: Who are they?
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: I don't.
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: Are you sure?
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: I'm alone.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: There's no reception. I'm in Stanley Park. The woods are high.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: The sun doesn't even, the trees are so high. The
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: sun is in a reach.
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: We're down in the, even if I yell, help, it's over.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: And now is this Palantir doing this? Like, who do
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: you think is doing this?
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: Exactly. This is an organization. And I'm high.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: I try to find my way out. And I, oh
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: my God, I stumble on this tree stump. You know,
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: like a tree stump.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: Oh yeah, for sure.
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: I've seen them.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: 80 to a 160 amount of condoms like on the floor.
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: Just this mass of used up condoms.
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: Like the Wailing Wall or whatever?
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. Maybe this is the stump, you know, Jews
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: kissed the rock or whatever.
• 7:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, those were like gay Jews.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: This is their stump.
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: Where they humped the stump kind of or something.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: And I'm trying to find a trail, the way out.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: Just before I get to the trail, after the stump,
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: My heart is racing. I'm now like, what the fuck
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: is happening? How did I find this deep in the woods?
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: And then I see in the bush the two guys.
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: The one guy with the glasses, the beer guy. And
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: then the other guy with the cock, the waiter guy.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: I see them in the distance.
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: Doing what, blowjobbing?
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: I wish this was our job. This wasn't a job,
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: this was holding hair. Oh God, oh God.
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: Like dick slavery or whatever?
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: This was slavery.
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: God, brother.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: And the guy banging the other guy's mouth, he like
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: makes eye contact.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: The chef, they call that guy.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: Yes, the chef. Okay. And he's cooking up a meal.
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: Mom!
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: Mom!
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: Okay, keep going. Sorry, some of the sounds are making some...
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: I don't want the neighbors knocking. Because you know it's like.
• 8:59
  Speaker 4: No, but go on.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: And he makes eye contact with me.
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: Why do they keep doing that?
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: I know, it's crazy. He's like, you want some?
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: Ah! So I turn around, I find a road, and
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: then I see like another guy on the trail, and
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: I'm already giving him a weird.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: Like, stay away from him.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: Then I realized, and then I saw his family. It's
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: just a German guy looking for And I wanted to
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: tell them like, I'm truly going nine.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Don't go there.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: And then I get out of the woods and then I, Then,
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: of course, immediately I go on Reddit and Facebook groups.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: That's the suck and fuck stump. I was literally like,
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: have you seen The Grey with Liam Neeson? Have you
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: seen The Grey?
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: The Grey?
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Remember when he fights the wolves?
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: I haven't seen it. I've seen the advertisement for it,
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: but I didn't fall for it yet.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: It's like a movie where he fights wolves because they
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: keep attacking him. And then at the end of the movie,
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: you find out the whole time he's been trying to
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: escape the wolves.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: See, this is me with the gay guy. Look, this
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: is me with the gay man. God. Yeah.
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: He's trying to escape the wolves, but then at the
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: end of the movie, he goes to the nest of
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: the wolves, which they're most protected.
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: That's how I felt.
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: Like you were in the swarm.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: It's almost like you had somehow found your way through
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: the honeycomb to the queen bee.
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: And then for a year, if I did stand up,
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: I always talked about that experience. And whenever I said,
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: first time I came to Vancouver, I went to Stanley Park.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: And everyone already laughs because they know it's a suck
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: and fuck push.
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: And it's called Stanley Park?
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Well, it's crazy because they have one in Pittsburgh called
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Shenley Park.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: And they fuck there, too.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: And there used.
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: To be rumors of, like, different quarterbacks for the Steelers
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: going up there and doing male-on-male sexual.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Mm-hmm.
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: And then they had.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: But bring up... Yeah, can we get a Reddit or, like,
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: a Google review? Let's go to Google review of Stanley
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: Park and just go down that privately and see if
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: you get any... If people are reporting... you know, kind
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: of gay activities over there.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: Reporting gay activities.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Well, it used to be like, and I'm sorry you
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: went through that. And when I was a kid, across
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: that river, so where the rest area was, across from that,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: they had a lot of men, like kind of straight
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: men or people that worked in like, like semi-straight, people
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: that worked like in mechanics, you know, mechanics assistant or
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: construction or something. They would, they had one of those,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: like those slingshot things, the big ones. And they would
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: shoot potatoes because I grew up on the other side
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: of the river across from the rest area.
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: So we'd get out there when we're kids with binoculars
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: and watch like the guys do.
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: Dope and then hug in the water.
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: And hug in the water. Yeah.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, it really was like a deleted scene from
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: the Bible. That's another one we have now. So it
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: was like, but some of the adult men would fire
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: a potato. If they got too close, they'd fire a
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: tot over at them to get them to separate, you know.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: so it was like this crazy shit that went on
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: but I think it is interesting when you get around
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: the woods and when you get back to nature like
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: how sexuality is really close right there.
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: For sure yeah and it's also like there's for sure
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: the thrill of like Like, I have a gay friend
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: of mine.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: He's, like, older.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: And he says, oh, yeah, there's all kinds of underground
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: sucking fuck clubs and they fuck in the bush.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, my.
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: It's because, you know, men want to be a little perverted.
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: But we have to, when we bang women, we have to,
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: they're angels, you know? So we have to, like.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: That's a good point.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: But if there's two guys, we want to make it.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: It's like, I want to throw you halfway through a window.
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: I want to fuck your mouth in a bush, you know?
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: That's what I want to do. And guess what? He
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: wants to do that, too.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: Oh, my God.
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: Here's a note.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: Somebody right here said, I masturbate in Stanley Park, and
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Anyone who stumbled into me doing that, but
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I don't do it in front of people. I am
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: not a sex offender. So this is somebody just clear
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: in the air.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Did you see how rough that note looked? Holy shit, dude. Yeah.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: It says, historically, Stanley Park has served as a gay
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: cruising location with secluded trails near the Lost Lagoon and
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: forest areas.
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: You could have been in the Lost Lagoon, my brother.
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: I was very lost.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: But I could see this also. You were in the
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: park for a couple days, and it could change your sexuality.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like something like that could happen? Like,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: nature's just such a ground where something different can happen.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: The woods is always, like, a mysterious place.
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: Mysterious place.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Like, even when you were a kid and you would
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: go there, it was just like, you know what I'm saying?
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: That's where, like, anything. There were monsters.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: There was porn hidden.
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah.
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: I smoked my first cigarette in the bush.
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: It all happened in there.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: A piece of alcohol in the bush. It's always like,
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: there's a tree house, first kisses. There's people living there,
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: some guy's just living there, and you're like.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: This guy, yeah, living in the woods.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's just a lot that happens there. And I
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: think there always has been. It's a very mysterious place.