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Transcript

Valentine's Day With A Narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Valentine's Day with a narcissist.
• 0:07
  It's that time of the year, y'all.
• 0:09
  It's the most wonderful time of the year.
• 0:11
  Or not like I put this. Yeah, I put a post on threads
• 0:14
  yesterday that said, I put a post on threads that said you
• 0:19
  might, you might want to go ahead and block your
• 0:21
  narcissistic ex or your narcissist, even your
• 0:24
  narcissistic partner today if you want to have a good day,
• 0:27
  because they're going to try to make the day about them.
• 0:30
  And I feel like that should not be shocking to a lot of people,
• 0:34
  right? I feel like that shouldn't be
• 0:36
  the most shocking thing that that can happen.
• 0:39
  Is that a narcissist or toxic person, whatever ruins your
• 0:43
  Valentine's Day or cancel the Valentine's Day date that yeah,
• 0:46
  you, you this cannot be that shocking anymore, right?
• 0:50
  Why are we shocked? Like I can understand that this
• 0:53
  is your first Valentine's Day with your abusive narcissistic
• 0:56
  partner or whatever, right? I can understand that.
• 0:59
  But if it's your 7th, what are you telling yourself right now?
• 1:03
  Because now we got to reshape our minds, right?
• 1:05
  Because ain't no way in the hell we still have the same thought
• 1:08
  process right now. We ain't no way in the hell we
• 1:09
  telling ourselves like, it's going to be better.
• 1:10
  They're going to change their behaviors.
• 1:12
  What are we doing, what are we doing in that scenario right
• 1:15
  there? What are we telling ourselves in
• 1:17
  this situation right now to make you think, to make us think that
• 1:20
  we're going to have a better Valentine's Day than we had
• 1:23
  before that we had previously? And I say us because like me and
• 1:27
  my narcissist ex, Valentine's Day, she's a woman.
• 1:32
  She's a real Valentine's Day. Yeah, she ruined.
• 1:36
  Narcissistic women can absolutely ruin Valentine's Day
• 1:39
  as well. It's not just narcissistic men
• 1:41
  like they can rule Valentine's Day.
• 1:43
  They can not show up or date. They can.
• 1:45
  You can be waiting waiting for them and they just not show up.
• 1:48
  They canceled on you. Oh, something came up my phone
• 1:50
  dying. Sorry.
• 1:54
  This type of stuff can actually happen, so you have to prepare,
• 1:59
  y'all. I, I feel like, OK, so me, this
• 2:02
  is my personal perspective on Valentine's Day.
• 2:03
  I just think it's a commercialized holiday created
• 2:05
  to just make money. These companies make money
• 2:07
  saying I think it's Valentine's Day massacre.
• 2:09
  I think people got massacred. I don't know the history of it,
• 2:11
  but it's just about money, right?
• 2:13
  The hearts and the bears show me you left me.
• 2:17
  What narcissistic people are going to do is tell you that
• 2:20
  they've been showing you that they love you the whole year.
• 2:22
  Why we need one day? I show you I love you the whole
• 2:25
  year I'm here, aren't I? Why do we need to celebrate
• 2:28
  this, this one day? What makes this one day special,
• 2:33
  right? And this happens.
• 2:36
  It is. Yeah.
• 2:36
  It really does. It really does happen to so many
• 2:39
  people, right? And I tell this to people all
• 2:42
  the time, like, you have to prepare.
• 2:45
  Couldn't. And so could they.
• 2:47
  And this was and this is going to get a lot of people caught up
• 2:49
  right here, right? Could they?
• 2:52
  Like, could they absolutely switch it up?
• 2:54
  And this year be a good year. Yeah, they could do that, right?
• 2:58
  That's what got. That's what.
• 2:59
  That's what's got you. Hold on, ain't it?
• 3:01
  Well, Lee could be narcissist. Yeah.
• 3:03
  Narcissist thrive on those words.
• 3:05
  I'm going to do a longer video on that.
• 3:06
  That might be tomorrow's video. And that you you're going to
• 3:08
  hear it could be two words the narcissist thrive on.
• 3:12
  Could be because it could be true, right.
• 3:14
  I'm going to dig deeper in there.
• 3:15
  It could. It could be this year.
• 3:17
  It could happen. It's hope, right?
• 3:19
  You're hoping that today is going to be different.
• 3:21
  You hoping that today, Valentine's Day, any other
• 3:23
  holiday, because this can apply for any other holiday, your
• 3:26
  birthday as well, You're hoping that this is going to be
• 3:29
  different, that this time is going to be different.
• 3:30
  It is. This scenario is going to be
• 3:32
  different. They're going to treat you
• 3:33
  differently today than they did last year, right?
• 3:36
  They've ruined Christmas, they've ruined New Year's, they
• 3:38
  ruined Thanksgiving. But you think that was going to
• 3:41
  happen today? Chances are they're going to
• 3:44
  ruin today. They're going to start an
• 3:46
  argument. They might take you out, but
• 3:47
  they're going to start an argument.
• 3:49
  They're going to fuss and fight with you.
• 3:50
  They're going to do this type of stuff and whatnot.
• 3:53
  This is what they're going to do.
• 3:55
  You know what I mean? This is the type of stuff that
• 3:57
  they're going to do and and whatnot.
• 4:01
  So they're going to ruin your day.
• 4:04
  Check. Yeah, I had to cancel A1 on win
• 4:06
  just now. But they're going to ruin your
• 4:10
  day. This is what they're going to
• 4:11
  do. This is the type of stuff that
• 4:13
  they thrive on. They love this type of stuff.
• 4:16
  They enjoy it because they benefit from it.
• 4:19
  And then tomorrow, like the day after Valentine's Day or two
• 4:22
  days later, could they come again?
• 4:23
  Sorry about Valentine's Day. Sorry about Valentine's Day.
• 4:30
  Sorry about that. I don't know what happened and
• 4:32
  what got over to me. We could have things could have.
• 4:34
  I know we both could have handled this situation
• 4:36
  differently. We both could have said
• 4:38
  something differently. We both could have handled it.
• 4:40
  We both could have been better. We both both both both both
• 4:44
  BOFF. They can ruin your damn day.
• 4:48
  They could absolutely have make you have a torturous day.
• 4:52
  They absolutely could, but this is also something that you have
• 4:56
  to think about, that you need to prepare for because they're
• 4:58
  going to be abusive, they're going to be manipulative.
• 5:00
  They yeah, that nurses love this type of shit.
• 5:02
  They love it. Some of them do and some of them
• 5:05
  it's just pre programmed. They're pre programmed to ruin
• 5:08
  Valentine's Day. They're pre programmed to make
• 5:10
  Valentine's Day a living hell for you.
• 5:12
  There's like they're pre programmed to ruin every single
• 5:14
  holiday, your birthday, your graduation, your promotions,
• 5:16
  whatever they're pre programmed for.
• 5:18
  So you today make today out, go out and have do something fun
• 5:22
  today, even if this video, because this video is going
• 5:25
  about 3:15 Eastern Standard Time, so 12:00 PM on the Pacific
• 5:30
  Time, right? If they haven't already ruined
• 5:32
  it, go do something for yourself today.
• 5:36
  So like, Valentine's Day should be a day of self love.
• 5:39
  Go do something for yourself. Show yourself some love.
• 5:42
  Don't let them take it away from you.
• 5:44
  Don't let them decimate your day because they're horrible,
• 5:48
  unhappy, miserable fucking people.
• 5:51
  Don't let them do this. Go celebrate today.
• 5:53
  Even if they yelled at you, even if they've already cussed at
• 5:55
  you, even if they already try to break your heart today.
• 5:58
  Go out and the day is not over yet.
• 6:01
  It's not over just yet. So go out and do something for
• 6:03
  yourself. Go replenish yourself, fill your
• 6:05
  own cup. Don't let them ruin your day.
• 6:09
  If Valentine's Day is important to you, it's not important to
• 6:11
  me, right? I'm still going to do something
• 6:13
  for my wife. Valentine's Day is important for
• 6:15
  my wife because it's her mom's birthday.
• 6:16
  Her mom passed away years ago, so I had to.
• 6:18
  It's like I got double pressure, right?
• 6:22
  But this is the type of stuff that happens.
• 6:24
  This is the type of stuff that be going on and wouldn't be
• 6:26
  happening and such, but you have to prepare for it.
• 6:30
  So if you you can hold out hope that they're going to change and
• 6:33
  be nice today, they might show, they might give you a gift at
• 6:36
  11:58 PM Eastern Standard Time, right.
• 6:39
  They might do that type of stuff.
• 6:41
  You know what I mean? That that's the type of stuff
• 6:45
  will be able to happen. Yeah.
• 6:47
  So 11:00 PM Eastern Standard Time, they'll give you a gift or
• 6:51
  Pacific Standard Time, whatever, they'll give you a gift.
• 6:53
  Here's your Valentine's Day gift.
• 6:54
  After they've made you cry, they'll make you cry and then
• 6:57
  try to make you happy. Valentine's Day can be so
• 7:00
  traumatic. They can do something horrible
• 7:02
  to you. Act like they ain't not going to
• 7:04
  do shit for you. Then at the end of the day,
• 7:05
  surprise you Surprise. I was juggling with you all day.
• 7:10
  Hope you hope. You laughed at the joke.
• 7:12
  Did you laugh at the joke? I laughed.
• 7:14
  Here's your gift. Wow, you don't like it.
• 7:16
  You're crying. You're ungrate.
• 7:18
  You're ungrateful to say I shouldn't have did shit for you.
• 7:20
  Didn't get mad, they get mad that you're not grateful that
• 7:24
  they got you a gift after they ruined your whole fucking day.
• 7:27
  You see what I'm saying? Prepare for this job.
• 7:29
  If y'all been following me for any amount of time and you think
• 7:32
  this year is going to be different, I failed.
• 7:36
  You know me, I failed my job as you're a self aware narcissist
• 7:41
  mediator right? I feel like I failed you.
• 7:44
  If you think this year is going to be different, tell yourself
• 7:46
  like so right here, this is between you.
• 7:48
  Like let's not make Valentine's Day about them right?
• 7:49
  Make it about you. This is your day.
• 7:51
  It's like self love day. It's Valentine's Day is self
• 7:54
  love day. Make it about you.
• 7:57
  What are you telling yourself? You mean, what are you telling
• 8:01
  yourself that makes you think this year is going to be
• 8:04
  different? What are you telling yourself?
• 8:08
  What are you telling yourself? What are you telling yourself
• 8:10
  that makes you think, oh you know what, this year is going to
• 8:12
  be different next year. This year is going to be
• 8:14
  different. What have they shown you that
• 8:16
  this year, this year is going to be different?
• 8:18
  If they've already ruined the previous few hot few for you,
• 8:21
  previous few holidays, what do you think they're going to do to
• 8:24
  this year? Why do you think they're going
• 8:25
  to change up this year? Why do you think they're going
• 8:26
  to switch it up this year? Why would they do that?
• 8:30
  What's making you think that they're going to switch it up?
• 8:32
  I'm just curious, what's what's got your mind rolling around
• 8:36
  making it think that they were doing to switch it up this year?
• 8:39
  Have they changed anything else? You see what I'm saying?
• 8:42
  But I'll say this last thing. Yeah, I'm gonna switch it.
• 8:43
  I'm gonna switch the thing back back up to them.
• 8:46
  They could love bomb you today, right?
• 8:50
  They could switch it up, trick you, mess with your mind, mess
• 8:54
  with your head and love bomb you today instead of doing anything
• 8:58
  else they could like. Yeah, Valentine's Day could be
• 9:01
  the only day of the year that they treat you good.
• 9:05
  So if you're dealing with a narcissist or toxic person,
• 9:07
  right, understand that Valentine's Day could be the
• 9:11
  only day of the year that they actually treat you well.
• 9:15
  They might love bomb you this day.
• 9:16
  They might give you everything that you won't need.
• 9:18
  They're like today might be the day they switch it up.
• 9:21
  They've been horrible to you the last 364 calendar days, Not this
• 9:26
  year, because this year just got started, right?
• 9:27
  But the last 364 calendar days, they've been awful to you.
• 9:32
  But Valentine's Day, they sweep. They sweep you off your feet,
• 9:35
  put your feet in the air, clap the cheeks, whatever the case
• 9:37
  may be, right? They do all the type of stuff
• 9:38
  for you. They could love Bombia today.
• 9:41
  They could do that. So be prepared for that as well,
• 9:44
  right? They could, they could put the
• 9:46
  cheeks on you because you know when they could be narcissists
• 9:48
  too. They could be horrible to you
• 9:49
  for the whole year, not give you, not give you no cheeks and
• 9:52
  then throw the cheeks all on you.
• 9:53
  Just just smother you with cheeks on Valentine's Day.
• 9:56
  You see the heart, the heart symbol for Valentine's Day.
• 9:59
  You'll have the heart symbols for Valentine's Day.
• 10:00
  You get a Peach symbol instead, you get a Peach.
• 10:02
  Peach. This day.
• 10:04
  They either they put the Peach on you, right?
• 10:10
  That's what, yeah, that's what they do to you.
• 10:13
  So that's something that you have to think about as well.
• 10:15
  But this is how it goes when you're dealing with
• 10:18
  manipulative, abusive people. You have to consider the source.
• 10:21
  You have to consider that this narcissistic, toxic person is
• 10:24
  always going to be in it for them.
• 10:26
  It's me first. They're going to try to serve
• 10:28
  their own egos first. They're going to try to serve
• 10:30
  themselves first. Whatever that looks like to
• 10:32
  them, they're going to try to do that first.
• 10:35
  So that's something that you have to think about as well
• 10:37
  because whatever serves them or makes them feel the best about
• 10:40
  the situation, they are going to do regardless of how it makes
• 10:44
  you feel, regardless how it comes out fast, regardless what
• 10:47
  happens next, they're going to serve themselves.
• 10:49
  So Valentine's Day can go either way.
• 10:52
  It can be a horrible day or you could be, you could have been
• 10:55
  sad the whole year. They've been treating you
• 10:56
  horribly the whole year to hold like last 364 days.
• 11:00
  But today they want to make up for everything.
• 11:02
  They will try to make up for everything.
• 11:03
  And if today they do love bomb you, right?
• 11:06
  This is like it's not just a regular love bomb.
• 11:08
  This is like they're this kind of like putting something in the
• 11:11
  bank, right? They're going to love bomb you
• 11:14
  and this will be the last good deed that they do for the year.
• 11:17
  And they expect to live off like the interest of this.
• 11:20
  They expect to live off the compound interest of them
• 11:23
  treating you well today. You remember I did for you for
• 11:26
  Valentine's Day. Wow, you gonna act like that?
• 11:28
  Wow, you ungrateful. Wow.
• 11:29
  I can't believe this about you. I can't believe you act like
• 11:32
  this. Wow.
• 11:33
  What's wrong with you? Wow, don't fall for that type of
• 11:37
  shit y'all please not today, not today, not on Valentine's Day.
• 11:40
  So choose yourself, choose happiness, whatever happiness
• 11:43
  look like for you, choose that. Be safe, take care of yourselves
• 11:48
  and let you say check out my joining my support group or you
• 11:51
  know I do my coaching sessions as well y'all you can find it
• 11:53
  and you can find everything about me at mentalillness.net.
• 11:57
  Coaching courses, every single thing by support group,
• 12:00
  everything is available at mentalillness.net.
• 12:02
  Come check it out and I will see y'all later.
• 12:06
  Peace. What's going on?
• 12:08
  Beautiful folks. Thank you so much for making it
• 12:10
  to the end of my video. I truly appreciate it.
• 12:11
  You have no idea. If you haven't already hit that
• 12:15
  subscribe button. You made it this far, you might
• 12:17
  as well subscribe. It really does help the channel
• 12:20
  y'all y'all. It helps me reach more people as
• 12:21
  well. Also, I have coaching my courses
• 12:24
  and my support group available at www.mentalillness.net.
• 12:28
  Thank you so much. Make sure you stick around,
• 12:30
  watch another video or two. I appreciate it.
• 12:32
  I'm out.