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Will a narcissist change for the right person · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're answering the question, Can a narcissist?
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  Will a narcissist change for the right person?
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  Will they change for love? If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of the
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  Narcissist Code. Welcome back, Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes, Yes, yes, yes, yes. That's the question of the day
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  is, isn't it? Yeah, that's the question of the
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  year, The question of the lifetime.
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  Will a narcissist change for the right person?
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  Can can a narcissist change for love?
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  Will they change? So this is my perspective right
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  here. Y'all again, my perspective can
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  be challenged. You, you, you don't have yo.
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  I'm. I'm a human being, just like you
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  are. I have a personality disorder.
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  This is my this is my perspective.
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  We can keep it. Like we can have a we can keep
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  it respectful, you know, keep it respectful.
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  But yes. So to answer your question, yo,
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  every single narcissistic person changes for every single
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  different relationship. They're not going to be the same
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  in any relation, in any relationship.
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  That's just the truth of the matter right there.
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  No narcissist is going to be the exact same in every single
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  relationship because that's not how it works, you know?
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  Yeah, it's just how it works. But will they change for the
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  right person to be to love and care for them and treat them the
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  best they've ever treated anybody else before?
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  No. I I don't think narcissists will
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  change for the right person. That's that's just my
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  perspective. I know people will look at my
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  story and be like, well, Lee, you changed for your wife.
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  You're doing, but you're you're lying.
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  You just want people to be. You just want people to break
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  up. You want people to be unhappy.
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  You lying, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee, pee.
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  No, no, no, no, no. You know, this is not what I'm
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  saying. Like, I don't think narcissists
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  change for good, for anyone. That's just not how it works.
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  Y'all. And that's why I just, that's,
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  that's the message that I try to convey to people.
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  Like, if they seem happy in a new relationship, it does not
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  mean that they're actually happy in a new relationship.
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  That's why I tell you all to stop watching the new
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  relationship because it gets off.
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  Like, it's like it's seeing a mirage, right?
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  It's like seeing an Oasis in the middle of a desert where you're
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  when you're parched of thirst, where you can't breathe.
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  OK, I need something to drink. It's like, that's what happened
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  right there. Like you've seen that in the
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  middle of nowhere, right? And now you've run into this
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  narcissistic part, like you've seen them happy.
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  Like it's the It's a mirage. Yeah.
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  Can they be happy for a short period of time?
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  They might have been happy with you for a little while, right?
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  They might have changed for you for a little while.
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  They might have came back and changed after they did something
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  wrong to you after you broken up with them.
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  They might have promised to change, promised to make make
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  their behaviors better, promised to make their relationship
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  better, promise to never make you cry again, promise to never
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  hurt you again, blah blah blah Boo Boo Boo BBBB y'all.
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  Understand exactly what I'm saying.
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  But would it change for good food?
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  Just for the person, for someone else?
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  No, it doesn't work that way. Even in my real life, I'm
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  working on my behaviours for me, for me.
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  My wife can walk her. My wife can walk herself in here
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  right now and be like babe. It's been a beautiful she can
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  play Dewey Cox, a beautiful ride and beautiful ride.
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  Beautiful, and then tell me it's over.
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  Would it hurt my feelings? Yes.
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  Would I stop going to therapy? No.
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  Because my therapy journey is not about her.
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  It's about me. Me.
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  That's who it is. It's about me.
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  It is absolutely not about her. It's about me living my life to
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  the fullest extent possible, being as happy as I possibly
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  can. You know, live it.
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  Like enjoying every, enjoying every bit of my life.
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  That's what it's about right there.
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  Y'all like, seriously. That's what it's all about for
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  me. And that's why.
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  That's why I like to tell people like this is part of the
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  journey. Like I didn't change for anybody
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  else but myself. I didn't change my behaviors for
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  anybody else but myself. I'm managing my behaviors for
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  me. It sounds selfish, but that's
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  just the way it is. Like y'all, so many people
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  attach their own self worth to. Whether or not a narcissistic
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  person changes their behaviours. Well, they didn't.
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  They didn't change for me. So I must not be worth it.
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  No. Why do you?
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  Why do you do that to yourself? The narcissist has already
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  beaten you up enough, right? They've already emotionally
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  beaten you up. Sometimes they physically beaten
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  you up, right? They've already done enough of
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  it. So don't you look, don't you?
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  Don't you jump in on yourself. Don't you gang up on yourself.
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  Don't help the narcissist. Don't do the work for I wasn't
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  worth it enough. So they just they treated the
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  new person better. What was it about me?
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  No, no, no, no. It's not about you.
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  It's about them. It's always about them.
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  Y'all it's about us internally, the narcissist.
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  It's about us inside of us. You know what I'm saying?
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  That's the way it works right there.
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  The narcissists in your life, they nobody in there.
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  Nobody's going to come into their life and make them swoop,
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  swoop, swoop their like, swoop them off of their feet and make
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  them a better person. It doesn't work that way.
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  And this is not me trying to crush anybody's hope that
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  narcissist has to want to work on their behaviors themselves.
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  That's just point blank, period. They have to or else they're
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  Every single relationship is going to end very similarly.
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  Maybe not under the exact same circumstances, but very
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  similarly similar circumstances. You know, like coincidental, you
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  mean circumstantial evidence, you know, they they just always
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  going to end the same. So no, they're not going to
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  change for the right person. The right love is going to make
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  them change, bump them in the right direction.
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  You know, they might tell you that.
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  And this is the worst thing that happens, right?
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  This is one of the worst things that happens.
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  That narcissist might tell you that they're changing for the
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  new person, right? They might tell you that they're
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  being better for the new person, right?
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  They might tell you. They might absolutely tell you
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  that they're being better for the new person.
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  Like this new person. I'm so glad.
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  I'm so happy I'm in a new relationship.
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  This is the best relationship I've ever been in.
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  I never thought I could be this happy.
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  And y'all are watching and killing yourselves.
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  You're watching them say that to somebody else.
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  You're watching them talk about, you're listening to them.
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  They might say it directly to you.
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  If y'all exchanging the kids, or y'all still y'all are still in
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  each other's life in some way, they might say it directly to
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  you, right? They might put it directly into
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  your, into your ear, into your mind that this is how it goes
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  right here. This is exactly what they might
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  be saying to you. I'm treating a new new person,
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  better. This person, they bring out the
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  best in me. You know, can they change
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  certain certain behaviors for certain people?
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  Yeah. Y'all, because no two people are
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  the same. So they might have to change a
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  little bit of their personality. They might have to tweak a
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  little bit of themselves to keep to get the other person to fall
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  for them. They might have to tweak a
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  little bit, like make a little, little, little tweak a little
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  tweaker. They might.
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  They might have to become a little tweaker of their
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  personality, right, to get the other person to fall for them.
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  That might work right there, because narcissists like my
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  video, my video from yesterday go listen to that video.
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  Narcissists change their behaviors to match other people.
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  They they become the new person. So they're not changing for the
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  new person. They're changing because of the
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  new person. They're changing because the new
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  person has different personality traits, different cultural
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  upbringing, different religious upbringing.
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  You something that they're changing for because they're not
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  changing for. They're changing because of the
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  new person. So I said don't beat yourself up
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  in these situations. Wondering why they didn't you
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  weren't enough. Like it wasn't enough for them
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  to know y'all stop doing it. Y'all please, I'm doing it to
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  yourself. Y'all be killing me when y'all
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  do that to yourself. You know, I was it wasn't.
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  I just wasn't good enough. Y'all I'm telling you, don't
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  jump in on your abuse. Don't tag in on your abuse like
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  they're they're already beating you down and then you, then you
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  come in just like, hey, let me get a piece.
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  And they're they're like, but this is this is you want you
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  want some licks on yourself. You want you want to hit
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  yourself? Yeah.
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  Might as well. You need you to jump in and
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  start beating yourself up. Stop doing that.
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  This is your look. This is your freedom video right
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  here. This is your freedom phrase,
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  freedom phase. You are worth more.
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  You're you are empowered. You are.
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  You just are. Y'all.
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  But I can say that all I want, but you have to believe that you
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  know, you have to internalize that, that this has to be part
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  of your own story right here. It really, really does.
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  So you did like no matter how many times I say this, you have
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  to believe it. Because if you don't believe it,
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  then chances are you're going to lose.
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  Let's keep it high. Let's keep it hot and ready like
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  a little Caesar pieces. Chances are you're going to lose
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  if you're not up and ready. If you're not ready for this,
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  you're going to lose. You know, people are like, well,
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  leave this. This doesn't make any sense.
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  Like, I'm just telling you what's going on here.
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  Like if you're not ready for this narcissistic person like to
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  switch their behaviors up, then you, you're going to lose.
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  They're going to, they're going to switch it up and they're
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  going to or they're going to lie to you.
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  Yeah, some narcissist lie. I said this before in some
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  videos but narcissist live their lives like their ex is watching
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  or that they're like their ex will find out they are living
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  their life like their ex is watching or will find out how
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  they're treated a new new person.
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  So their love bombing the new person sometimes just hoping
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  that it get it, get back, it gets us back to you because
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  y'all have mutual friends. You know because y'all have
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  mutual friends. Again, this doesn't this is just
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  not with it's in the relationship.
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  This can have a parental dynamic as well.
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  Y'all because your parents can treat your siblings better.
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  Because you have gone no contact.
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  You decided to start setting boundaries.
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  So they might start to love bomb your siblings and treat your
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  siblings better. They might change their
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  behaviors. Up for your siblings, you see,
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  for your cousins, For your other family members, they might do
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  that as well. For your friends might do this.
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  Your friends might switch up their personalities.
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  They might start marrying other people.
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  So that's why I tell people y'all you have to.
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  You have to. This is not a request.
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  You have to turn off the narcissist TV because if you
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  don't, you will lose. If you do not turn off the
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  narcissist TV, you're going to continuously hurt yourself.
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  You might be having a good day and I said you might be having a
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  great day and now I'm saying, boom, that narcissistic person
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  posted the picture of them being happy.
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  And then you hurt your hurt your heart and you watched it.
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  You ruined your whole day. Oh they had.
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  Did they change for the new person?
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  Was that not enough? Oh my goodness, y'all.
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  No, they will not change for the new person.
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  Love won't make them change. Just so.
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  Think about this right here. Y'all thinking about this right
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  here. If they get into a new
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  relationship with somebody, right, and they're treating the
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  new person horribly and then all of a sudden they try to change
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  their behaviours, isn't that just another sign that they've
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  been abusive to this new person? They don't always abuse people
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  in the same way. Everybody.
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  Sometimes they abuse people in different ways, you know, But is
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  it just a sign right there that they are are already being
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  abusive in this relationship? You know, this is part of it.
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  This is some of the type of stuff you have to take into
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  account right here when you're dealing with narcissistic people
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  that they're not going to change for the new person, the new
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  supply, but they change. Sometimes they change because of
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  them. Because because you know, so I
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  said if y'all are looking for for more support, extra support
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  or looking to understand what you went through in a toxic
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  relationship, check out my courses and my support groups.
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  The links are the links are available in the description of
• 11:30
  every video and podcast that I do.
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  I might have a support group like the Mental Hilders super
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  active in there as well. Y'all.
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  So be safe, take care of yourselves.
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  Make sure you subscribe to this channel and tell us that please.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:43
  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
• 11:45
  for being here. If you haven't already, make
• 11:47
  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 11:50
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 11:52
  There's also a link available up here for you to purchase my
• 11:55
  kids. But remember, it's not your
• 11:57
  fault on Amazon so check that out.
• 11:59
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.