Latest / Rick Manis Ministries Podcast / If I Were A Little Bit Better

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If I Were A Little Bit Better · Rick Manis Ministries Podcast

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was thinking about when we got to the part of that song where he said, You're my refuge or you're my comfort, you're my refuge, you're my tower of strength, and all those things.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: I start thinking about how personal that is to me.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about my life story, and I think about how it wasn't that way.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know there was any kind of refuge, I didn't know there was any kind of comfort at one time.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Certainly didn't know where to get any strength for the things that I would be facing in life, or we were even facing then.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: But have found that.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: And while we're we're we're seeing more of him and we're beholding that and learning more of what that really means to us, and um and it and it's enhancing our experience, I love that we found it.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when you begin to know God through his grace and through his love, I I feel like you really come home.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: You have come to the mountaintop, you have come to the Holy of Holies, you have come to the end of your quest, the end of your journey.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: You are at the place where you can now just behold and inquire daily in his house.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And you get to just partake and drink more and more.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: But you're there, you're not on a quest.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: You have you have recognized who your father is, you have recognized where you belong.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: And you are home.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome home, church.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome home.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: I love what Hebrews uh says when he says, You have come to Mount Zion.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: You have come to the heavenly Jerusalem.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: You're there, you have come to an innumerable company of angels.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus called it the kingdom of heaven or the kingdom of God.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we're in that place.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And what a time to celebrate that.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just something to enjoy, it's something to live in, it's something to draw from in time of need, and certainly something uh that we can joyfully share with others.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: I I I want to start off this morning by getting, I want to, you know, reveal a little bit of my story.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: I I allude to it probably quite often.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: But um, you know, when I talk about, a lot of times when I talk about my past, I talk about a lot of the the horrible feelings that I that I would have.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that I didn't have some fun, I did growing up.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, there were some good things.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: But but there was this one dark thread that I look back on now and I see it and how it affected me and went into my adulthood and carried over into my my Christianity.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And uh for me it was a thread that that many would call uh rejection.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: There was this thing about me where I just I it just seemed like it repeated over and over again that it that I I just needed to be a little bit better.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I didn't actually see myself, I don't think, as defective, but I felt like I was always I always needed to be a little bit better.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like however I was, I wasn't quite good enough that there was that there was a demand put on me to to be better.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I don't blame my my parents so much.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: They did the best they could, and I think they loved me the best way they could, but but my feelings were as a as a as a child that that uh out of the three of us siblings, um, that I was the least liked.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that was true, but I felt that.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: Um and it could very well be true because I was this crazy left-handed, right-brain, lots of energy kid that thought he was funny and he wasn't, and was more irritating to his family and his parents, and and and I and I I didn't do good with the way that my brain worked.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't, it was hard for me to really fit into a world with left brain rules.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you can be a right brain person and still be able to do that, but it was hard for me.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I look back on that, sometimes I think, Rick, why did you do that?
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Why didn't you just do this?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Why didn't you just do what you were told?
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Why didn't you, you know, I mean, uh, and and and I wanted to be pleasing to mom and daddy, um, but something something about me just, you know, come home when it gets dark.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Sure, I'll be home.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: But then it gets dark, and why can't I just go home?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: I, you know, and I was I I I lived like that all the time.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I was in trouble a lot.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I and and it was just like I had this feeling like I need to be better.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I wasn't um wasn't good enough, you know.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was just like I need to be better.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: There was always demand for me to be better, be better, be better.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: And um, and I and I felt like, well, maybe if I'm a little bit better, then then daddy would like me the best, maybe.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_00: Or mama too.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: If I were just a little bit better, maybe they'd be happier with me.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I wouldn't, maybe I wouldn't be, you know, getting yelled at so much all the time.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Why do they yell at me all the time?
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I just need to be a little bit better.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And uh then later on some things happen in the family, and then I was thinking, then it really hit me hard because I think I'm thinking, well, maybe if I were a little bit better, maybe daddy would have wanted me, maybe he would have wanted to eat me.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: But he didn't.
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: I guess I wasn't, I don't know what it is about me, I don't know what I did.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: But what if I were just better?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe he would have made a different decision.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's about the time I start to get into my teenage years, and I start seeing the same thing happening, it seemed like with people and my peers, and it's like I wasn't, it didn't seem like I was quite wanted like some people.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Uh maybe if I were a little bit better.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: So that's when I really remember developing this lying, exaggerating habit, because you'd asked me something about me personally, and my subconscious thought was, well, what answer do you want?
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want me to be?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can project something that's actually a little bit better than who I really am.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Because probably who I really am needs to be a little bit better.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I'm not good enough for you.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you won't like me either.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe I'm not just not not cool enough for you.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe whatever.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm carrying this little, this dark thread through there, and it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's working all through my life.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And then then I get into uh adulthood.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And about the time I you know I get in my early 20s is really when I got into church and I found God, and things got better for my personal life because I because through those teen years, this is how bad it affected me.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I got into very destructive things and and addictions, and and and I just couldn't be better, so I just kind of checked out and and did that for some years.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I come to come to Jesus, and things get better because because it helps me to drop some bad habits, and life gets better, and I'm being productive, and I'm in love with a girl, and we get married, and and you know, we're we're we're moving quite along.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_00: But then something kept popping up.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I it was, you know, I I got into uh charismatic you know ministries and and and churches and and I'd go to meetings.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: This happened at least, I can account at least four times right now that I remember what happened.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: That, you know, when people would be operating in the gifts and they would operate in word of knowledge or prophetic utterances or something, and they would personally minister to you.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: At least four different times that I can recall, somebody would single me out in a congregation like this and say something about a rejection spirit.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: Now, this person was trying was was trying to say something positive to me, like God's gonna, you know, gonna take care of that, he's gonna heal you of that and that.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: But all I could hear was, is there a sign over me saying that I'm defective?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: Am I the only one that's that's been affected like this?
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And what is wrong with me?
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe I should be a little better.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe if I were a little better, they wouldn't call me out.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And it happened again.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not aware of what's going on.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know I got anything like that.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: First, I think you're just wrong.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: I'm okay, aren't I?
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe not.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe he sees something about me, and maybe he can tell that I'm just I just don't quite measure up like everybody else.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: He didn't tell anybody else that.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe if I were a little better, they wouldn't call me out like that.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: But also as a young Christian, I found out I could preach.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I recognized a calling to the ministry.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm, you know, getting involved in ministry and doing things, and at least I got this thing I can preach, and people seem to like that.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: And eventually I'm pastoring a church and still got this thing going on, this thread still working on it because my my religion was not nearly as grace-based as it is right now.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, it was a religion that a lot of the things there, you know, it it enforced this need to be a little bit better.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Because we were supposed to stop sinning altogether.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And okay, I got room to be a little bit better than I am now, and it was always a little bit better, so I'm working on on sins and any kind of sin that I can find, and I'm working on that.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I think that I would have some success in getting over a hurdle, but it was never quite enough.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: I still would see something else, and I needed to be a little bit better.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so I went on, I was on that train trying to do that.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then it was, you know, I'm I'm I'm in the ministry, and then there's, it's never, my my church was never, never big enough, no matter how how you know, whatever plateau that it hit, it always needed to be a little bit better.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I still had that exaggeration thing going on there because I'd go to pastors' conferences and they'd say, Well, how many, how many are in your church?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I'd always say a little bit more than what I had.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: It didn't matter how much I had, but whatever it was, it was always just a little more because I'm I'm thinking that whatever I am, I need to be a little bit better.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm oblivious to you know to what's really going on in my subconscious.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Not thinking a whole lot of why am I like this and why am I why am I doing that?
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Just but just have this thing that I'm carrying through a little bit better, and and and with that, you know, there's a there's a good degree of shame that's really going on there because whoever I was, and I didn't really know who I was, but whoever I was, I obviously needed to be a little bit better.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: So you try to look better, try to act a little better than you really feel.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Try to be actually be a little bit better.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm on this Christianity road, and I'm like, this is the way to make me better.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a good guy now, right?
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Look, I don't smoke, drink, cuss like I used to, and do all this stuff, and and so aren't I better?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Much better than what I was, but the things that I was hearing and reading were kept pulling me and telling me that you need to be a little bit better.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_00: And this whole time, you know, I'm still needy, still in a sense of lack, and it's always on this, I'm on this quest that I talk about, like chasing after this carrot on a string, and I'm just like, you know, if I'm a little bit better, then I'll be more blessed by God.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_00: God will give me more blessings and He'll give me more favor and have and I'll have more approval and and and people will see it, and then and then I'll finally get to my place of having uh men's approvals and certainly God's.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: And you think that if you get to a certain plateau or a certain success, or you look a certain way, or whatever, you think that that's going to fulfill this thing in you that says you need to be a little bit better.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like somehow I'm gonna get to this place, and it's finally like now I'm better, and there ain't nowhere else to go.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: And it never happened.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: And it seemed like the God I was serving, no matter how much I did for him, he always seemed to want more.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_00: I still needed to do a little better.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: No matter how much I prayed, I still needed to, I still needed to pray a little more.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: No matter how much I worked, how much I gave, no matter what, it was there was always this thing, and we we fostered it among each other, and it's like, yeah, whatever it is, it's more.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: If you're praying an hour, pray two.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: If you're giving this much, double it.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you're doing whatever it is, more, more, and more.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_00: It's always reaching out for something else, and we're climbing this holy hill, and and and you feel like you're making progress at least, but then once in a while you look up, and the top of that mountain is still just as far as it's ever been.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you feel like you'll never get better.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I believe that if if the the pure gospel, pure grace, God's heart is revealed to people, there'd never be such a thing as backsliding.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know what backsliding is?
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think we've I haven't even heard that word in church in a long time.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: But we used to hear it a lot.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: And people would do it.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: In my observation, the reason that they did is because there was a standard they couldn't live up to.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: They were being told to be a little bit better and they would fall and fail, and they realized I can't do it, I can't be a little better.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: They'd give up, they would tell me and say, I'm not coming back to church, I can't do it.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: I've tried it, I'm sorry.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_00: I hate to let you down.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, you're not letting me down, you're letting God down.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, in that case, I'll be back.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: No, they didn't.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: But they they they give up.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: Kind of like how I checked out as a teenager, like I'm trying to be better and I just can't be enough.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And people have an experience with God and they come to God, and things seem to all seem to for most people, they seem to start just getting better.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, but then they realize that there's a pull and a demand upon them, and they can't live up to that being better that just keeps being demanded of them.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I've heard people say, you know that Christian stuff, you know, isn't that serving God, walking with God?
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm glad it works for you, but it just don't work for me.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: I just I've tried it, I can't do it.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_00: What kind of a message was that?
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: Always needing to be whatever it is, a little bit better.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then many of you know, then my story goes that a time came when I found out that not only does God love me, but he really likes me.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_00: He liked me.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I got surprised as I laid on the floor crying and praying one time, and I got surprised as I felt the ministry of the Holy Spirit speaking to me and ministering to me and telling me that I didn't, if I never ever got a little bit better, that he liked me anyway.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't know that this was what the human heart was looking for, but I found out that it was exactly what my heart had been looking for, and I didn't even know it.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was looking to get a little bit better.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: If I could get better, then I would be happier, I'd feel fulfilled.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then a reality, a truth was revealed to me, was spoken to me.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_00: That if I never changed anything and never got a little bit better, God liked me.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_00: Not just loved me, but liked me.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: We were talking with Brett this morning saying, you know, I heard God every day, or at least every other day, I already heard that God loved me, God loved me.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: I heard it so much it really didn't mean anything to me.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Because usually it was an I love you but, right?
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I realized he liked me.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: He liked me.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that blows so much out of the water, doesn't it?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: It messes up so much of our our our Christian thinking or our religion in that uh so much because if he likes me, then that says a lot of other things that are scary to a lot of people.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you know how scary it can be.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, that's why people always add the butts.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, okay, Rick, he loves you.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, go ahead and say he likes you, but and what are they scared of?
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: They're scared that that if I find out God likes me, that I won't try to be a little bit better.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: And God was giving me freedom to not try to have to try to be a little bit better.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I found out that I received love, and you know what?
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_00: Things got a little bit better.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: And honestly, I have to tell you, I started acting a little bit better.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: I started acting a little bit better toward you.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_00: I kind of started liking you more too.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: I started giving more grace to you.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: It became easier for me to forgive you.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_00: That same thing that we receive is what we freely give.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: And since even as a minister, as a younger minister, you know, because I felt like I was receiving, you know, be a little better, be a little better, that's what I'm telling everybody else, be a little better.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_00: And they're like, we're trying, Pastor.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_00: We want to, too.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: What do we do?
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_00: Come down here and cry.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's what you do.
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_00: Promise God you'll do better.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_00: I found out God really liked me.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that truth does so much, does so much, number one, to fulfill your desire, to fill your heart, to cast out fear, and to begin to alleviate the shame.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized later on that that shame, no matter what form it took, was something very common to mankind ever since the Garden of Eden.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so much of the religion that sounded so good and so right to us actually continued to inflame that shame rather than alleviate it.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_00: Because we find ourselves, see, when we when we don't know that God likes us, we don't know that he approves of us, that he's for us, that he's with us, that he'll never leave us nor forsake us.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_00: When we think that if we sin, he has to turn his face from us.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: When we think that if we're less than perfect, if we if we're if we're if we're not better, that he that it it separates us.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: Do you ever hear that one?
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: Used to hear it a lot.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: They'd say, they'd say, if you sin, you still have a relationship.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_00: He's your father, but you break fellowship with him.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he was more sensitive than you are.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: He would leave if I uh sinned.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you guys at least give me a chance.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: According to that.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_00: So you've got this flighty God that's real cool as long as you're better.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: But you show that you're not up to it, you mess up and you fall, you fail, you do something selfish, whatever.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: Then he's like, man, I'm done with you.
• 20:45
  SPEAKER_00: Whenever you get it right, come back.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Those are the kinds of ideas.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know that God approves it, you don't know that God's with you always, you don't know that he really cares that he loves you and he likes you just like you are.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I want, I'll get to the to the scriptures here in just a minute to show you why he likes you just the way you are.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_00: But if you don't know that, then you feel like you're up, you're on your just with your own devices.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_00: You feel alone at times.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: You you can believe in God, but you'll still feel like he's not real close.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: And you'll wonder if he even cares.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: You ever pray that way?
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_00: I have.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: God, I'm going down here.
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_00: Do you care?
• 21:30
  SPEAKER_00: Hollering like he's up there somewhere.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: These mindsets that we have, and it makes me feel alone, and it's all on me, and it's up to me.
• 21:42
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like Adam.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_00: I feel naked.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's just me trying to be better, naked, not covered, not comforted, but demands are being put on me, and I'm trying, but I'm not.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: Naked.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm weak and I'm vulnerable.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_00: But I promise God, but I swear I can be a little better.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'd pray sometimes, give me one more chance, God, I'll be better.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_00: I can't even imagine how his heart must have felt hearing me say things like that.
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: He's like, and when he finally was able to get through to me, it was like, son, I don't need you to be better.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: I never demanded you to be better.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't demanding you to be strong.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your strength.
• 22:37
  SPEAKER_00: Wasn't demanding anything from you, I'm everything for you.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: That's when Rick began to get a revelation that his grace is sufficient for me and I need nothing else because I have him and he is all in all.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_00: He's everything.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_00: For the guy that was felt rejected by family, he says in Psalms 27, chapter 10.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_00: When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_00: Well, for many years of my earlier Christianity, I didn't have a Lord taking care of me.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: I saw a Lord that needed me to be better, just like a lot of other people did, like everybody else did.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_00: But when I found out, thank God for revelation, thank God for the Holy Spirit.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: He does just what Jesus said.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: He will take his glory and reveal it to you.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I began to see how big Jesus really is, and how much the work of the cross really meant to me, and how big his grace was, and that it is all sufficient, and how unending and far-reaching his love is.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: That just changes so much.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: It changes things forever with you.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I began to feel cared for.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then when that accusing voice of my thoughts would keep coming back, and like, you're not, you're not doing this enough, you're not doing that enough, and you need to do a little better, and all the other.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then I've got something, I've got a truth that makes you free.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, Mr.
• 24:23
  SPEAKER_00: Accuser, I don't care about any of that.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're probably right.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: I don't measure up in a lot of those things, but I am loved, and I'm gonna be loved all the rest of my existence.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: John 14, 18, Jesus said, I won't leave you orphans.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: I will come to you.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: I won't leave you fatherless.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_00: I will come.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'll be there.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, we know so many other scriptures.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'll never leave you, I'll never forsake you.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm with you always, even until the end of the age.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_00: Isaiah 53, there's a word about rejection there.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_00: He himself tasted that for us, bore that for us, experienced that for us.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_00: He is despised and rejected by men.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_00: A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief, and we hid, as it were, our faces from him.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: He was despised, and we did not esteem him.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: I I felt every bit of that.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I want to say this when you know when people tell their stories like I'm doing here.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we're we all are a story.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_00: We all are really, we're a beautiful, wonderful story.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_00: But there's pain in it.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there's pain in this life.
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_00: You're born in pain.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: C.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: S.
• 25:39
  SPEAKER_00: Lewis said you die in pain, you know, and you experience it.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a lot of joys, but there's also pain.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_00: But it's part of the story.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_00: Some of you may be going through something difficult right now.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_00: Take a step back and look at the whole thing and realize it's just it's part of your story right now.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: And with God, you're walking through this.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna live forever.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: You're always gonna be cared for, you're always gonna be loved, you're always gonna have a source of life, a source of strength.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_00: Not to say it doesn't hurt, not to say it doesn't, you know.
• 26:11
  SPEAKER_00: Tempt you to worry.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_00: But it's part of a story.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I have a story, and it's had pain in it.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_00: But man, it's a beautiful story.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: I love the fact that Alan says, Do you see this plan is foolproof?
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: Then Judy looks over at me, she says, Well, I guess it'll prove it to you because you're a fool.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: Judy said that.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_00: What did you say?
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: Don't start lying, huh?
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: You said something, you call me a fool in whatever room.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_00: And we're up here, and I'm worshiping, and we're saying this beautiful song, and I'm like, oh, that's so good.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: Even my wife thinks I should be a little bit better.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm kidding.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm totally kidding.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_00: She doesn't.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's a great love.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_00: A great love.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we always really wanted.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_00: We wanted somebody that would love us without any conditions.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_00: We wanted somebody that would love us and not say you have to be a little bit better.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we get.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the grace of God speaks to us.
• 27:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's what the love of how the love of God is revealed to us, that's what we get.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: And how many of you have found out that this whole this whole issue of, yeah, but what about their behavior?
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: How many of you, I I'd like to see your hands actually, how many of you have found out that once you accepted a love without conditions, and a grace that demonstrates that, you found out that it actually works better fruit in your life?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_00: Anyone just see, look at that.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: How many of you, how many of you wanted to embrace a doctrine of God's grace and love so you could be the worst monster that you could be?
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's all a lie.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: Romans 8, I want to read this.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: And I I've read this a number of times lately, but isn't it beautiful?
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: Romans 8, chapter 15.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: Here it is.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_00: You did not receive the spirit of religious duty leading you back into the fear of never being good enough.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: So here this boy carrying this shame and this rejection and this fear of not being quite good enough.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: Then I come into Christianity, and then somehow I slide into this spirit of religious duty, and it keeps fostering this fear of never quite being good enough.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it's not just cute what we do out there sometimes, what we do in the church world.
• 28:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's very painful, very damaging a lot of times.
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_00: That leads you back into the fear of never being good enough.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_00: But we have received what?
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_00: The spirit of full acceptance.
• 29:08
  SPEAKER_00: Full acceptance that enfolds you into the family of God, and you will never ever feel orphaned because as he rises up within us, our spirits, our eternal spirits, the core, our core being, the hidden man of the heart, who we really are, joins him in saying the words of tender affection.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: Beloved Father, Daddy, I'm home.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: You love me.
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_00: Verse 16, for the Holy Spirit makes God's fatherhood real to us as he whispers into our innermost being, you are God's beloved child.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: And when I was laying on the floor crying, that happened.
• 29:48
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly what it says.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: It starts messing up a lot of old ways and old thinking.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_00: But it's so beautiful and liberating and freeing.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: And finally in Matthew chapter 13, verse 45, Jesus talking about the kingdom of heaven.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_00: And he says, Heaven's kingdom realm is also like a jewel, merchant, in search of rare pearls or precious pearls.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_00: When he discovered one, very precious, an exquisite pearl, he immediately gave up all he had in exchange for it.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: I want to go beyond something right here.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: We often hear that God sees us the way he sees Jesus.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: And there's there's that's certainly true, but it's almost like there's something wrong with his life.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: He's not really seeing us, he's seeing Jesus instead.
• 30:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to make it more clear that he likes you.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_00: You are the pearl, the precious pearl.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_00: When he said we would say things like, Well, I'm glad that God sees me righteous because he sees us through the blood of Jesus, as if there's a filter there and it's kind of blurring his eyes, and he can't see how ugly I really am, so so I'm okay.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_00: But let me tell you, there's nothing wrong with God's eyes this morning.
• 31:29
  SPEAKER_00: He's always known the truth about his child, his children.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_00: He's always known who you are.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_00: Before he formed you in the womb, he knew you.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_00: But we got lost.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_00: Jesus said, That's okay, I came to find that.
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_00: That which was lost, me, you.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_00: I came to seek it and I came to save it.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_00: Bring it to myself.
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, And I found you.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_00: With all that he said, all he did, and what he did on the cross, he found me.
• 32:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because that cross spoke a love that was more than what I needed, and it was everything I needed.
• 32:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized not only does he love me, but he likes me.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: And he doesn't just see a lump of coal, and he says, I'm gonna pretend that it's a diamond.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_00: He sees a pearl.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_00: Because who you are, as God's child, as he is, so are you.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_00: You have been born of God.
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_00: You came from God, and you're precious, and you're beautiful, and you're eternal.
• 32:51
  SPEAKER_00: God knows who you really are.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_00: And he says, I want this.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: I want you to be with me always.
• 33:01
  SPEAKER_00: Let's walk together.
• 33:04
  SPEAKER_00: So he gave up all that he had.
• 33:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when that pearl was found in the field, he bought the whole field.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: He was willing to take all the dirt around it.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because you and I were so precious.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: And he likes you.
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_00: And he gave up all that he had.
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: We certainly know Jesus gave his life.
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: But let's say that we want to look at the law and say, you know, God had a right to judge me a certain way, but he gave up all that he had.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, God knows I've done this, I am guilty of these things, but God doesn't hold on to that, he gives up all that he has.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_00: I used to think that God was, oh God, where do these ideas come from?
• 33:59
  SPEAKER_00: I used to think that God was almost waiting for an opportunity for me to be in some kind of activity that wasn't good, some kind of sin.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_00: And before I was, I could repent of it, either he would come and take everybody else home, or I would die, or something would happen to where God could say, gotcha, you don't make it.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_00: See how extreme that can get?
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a and all that, this is during a time I'm serving him.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm thinking if I can be a little better, maybe he won't be that way to me.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_00: That's how bad this can get.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: Until the truth makes you free.
• 34:58
  SPEAKER_00: The secret that's been veiled, been hidden, is the hidden man of the heart, who you are.
• 35:04
  SPEAKER_00: Christ in you.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: The hope of glory, that glorification is the inner man in you.
• 35:11
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say Christ in you, I'm not talking about you being spiritually sick schizophrenic.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about a union that who you are is you and God together, joined to the Lord as one spirit, it's what makes you this child of God that you are.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_00: And you're precious and you're beautiful, and you're wanted, and you don't have to be just a little bit better because you're loved and you're accepted just as you are.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's why in Him we've come home.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_00: Would you all stand up?
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: We have come home.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_00: So He says, Welcome to the heavenly Jerusalem.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Mount Zion.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the spirits of just men made perfect.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to an innumerable company of angels.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome home, welcome to God.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to the kingdom of heaven, the place where you're secure, you're safe, and all is well with you.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_00: Though there be tribulation in the world, be of good cheer.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: He has overcome that world.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna be alright.
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: If something painful were to happen, you're gonna be fine.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_00: Child of God, you're gonna be safe.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: How y'all doing today?
• 36:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do you feel wanted?
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: You feel loved?
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_00: Father, I thank you for the ministry of your Holy Spirit to reveal to us the beauty of something that we could not have imagined.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I thank you for the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of you, the eyes of our understanding being opened to a wonderful new degree and dimension of the liberty of God's love and the blossoming that happens because of that, and the effect and the fruit of that kind of righteousness that we stand in.
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_00: I thank you, Father, for your blessing and favor and love overshadows every life and every home that's here.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_00: For they are enough and you are enough with them.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_00: We thank you, Father, that we are completing you and we need no other.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: And our nakedness has been covered.
• 37:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it's in you that we live and have all of our being.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_00: We give you thanks for all of these things in the wonderful name of our Savior Jesus.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: Amen.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: Bless you guys.
• 37:44
  SPEAKER_00: Have a wonderful day.