Latest / Integrity at Scale™ / The Accountability Mirror: How Culture Falls Apart Without It
Transcript
- Hey, Dr. Tara Vossenkemper here, and you are listening to the Culture Focused Practice podcast. Thank you for being here with me. Okay, so let's think about accountability as not about holding people's feet to the fire, but instead like a glue that keeps your culture intact. Without accountability, expectations erode, trust erodes and resentment builds. Period. And then if we're operating from that song sheet, we're basically watching the whole foundation crumble in front of our eyes. So today then what I wanna do is unpack what happens when leaders avoid the accountability mirror, and also how to fix this before the crack start to spread. Before we go further, as per usual, make sure you subscribe to the podcast. This is really for people who are interested in messy and real leadership, fallibility and humanity, and that intersection of business and humanity. That's what this podcast is about. Additionally, when you subscribe, the more likely this will hit people who also need to hear the message and you get notified whenever new episodes drop. So, okay, let's do this. Let me set the stage real quick with an agenda. There's only four items on our agenda for the day. Number one, what the accountability mirror is. Number two, why accountability matters. Number three, what happens when it's missing, and number four, how to build it into your practice. So when I'm talking about the accountability mirror, here's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about when leaders face themselves first before holding others accountable. I think I've said this at some point in an episode or two or five, but I am a huge proponent of Jocko Willink's Extreme Ownership, and I think that it's coming to mind for me right now. Where anytime something goes wrong, my first question should be, what have I done or not done? Am I modeling what I'm asking? Am I enforcing standards or am I excusing behavior? Am I frustrated with people for not doing something or am I mad at myself? I didn't step in or because I didn't hold a boundary or because I wasn't clear about what I actually wanted. That's the accountability mirror. It's basically saying, what role did I play in this? What it doesn't do, just to be very, very clear, there are always hires that don't work out. So what this doesn't do is absolve people of their responsibility for their behavior. So if there's a bad fit person, for example, you could do everything right, or let's say 85 to 90% of things right, and nothing will actually work because that person shouldn't be at your practice period. That's just a bad fit. The right seat maybe, but you've got the wrong person in that seat. I'm not saying that you take responsibility for that person's behavior. What I am saying is that accountability might look something like, shit, what role did I play in that hiring process? Did I let things slide during the phone screen? Did I review the candidate clearly enough? Did we do any sort of assessment to figure out if this person is being honest with what they're saying? That is what the accountability mirror can look like. So leaders who avoid the accountability mirror basically create a culture where accountability feels like it's just an option. You know? Like it, well, yeah, sure, maybe, but like I'm not really, it's not really mine. That's not mine to own. Leaders who embrace the accountability mirror, on the flip side, build fairness. They build safety, they build predictability. They're typically transparent and authentic and open. What you see is what you get basically, and you know what to expect, all of which again feeds back into safety, trust, clarity, et cetera. So why accountability matters. This is agenda item number two. I feel like this is obvious, so it's, it's kinda funny to talk about it, but number one, it's a sort of protection, like it protects clarity for your team and for yourself. When we have clear expectations, when we. Can share them with people when we can make adjustments if something's not going well. All of that feeds into I know what's expected of me, which then feeds into increased levels of safety and trust. And in a lot of cases, people end up feeling comfortable with vulnerability and making mistakes and taking ownership of those things. So what we're getting, whenever we look into that accountability mirror and act out accountability ownership, we're getting trust, safety, higher levels of repair within relationships, a stronger sense of connection to the team, et cetera. In essence, it all shapes and maintains the culture of our practice, which in case you don't know, I think is of the absolute most importance. If you can think about it also, like what gets enforced is what we value. And so by living out accountability, we are saying what is of value to us? Sometimes you can say it directly, but I would also argue that by saying it indirectly via accountability, you're sending a very powerful message to the people around you. So then let's talk about what happens when it's missing. This is agenda item number three. What happens when accountability is missing? First and foremost, and I think as I say this, I hope at least some of you think to yourselves, well, yep, that's me. Leaders over function. That's one thing that happens. Speaking as a person who tends to over-function, I take on a lot. I like to be busy. I like to have a multitude of things to do. It is not uncommon that I'm just gonna pick something up if I see it sitting down, or that I'm going to step in and maybe pick up some slack if I notice there's some slack going on. I've had to train myself and teach myself and make myself uncomfortable, honestly, it's, it's uncomfortable not to do that. It's uncomfortable not to over-function, so I've had to teach and train myself to respect people's roles. Respect that they have ownership of something and also that it might negatively impact them if I step in. So with that said, what I know is that if I'm starting to over function as a need, for example, like shit's not getting done and I'm starting to over function, that's usually an accountability issue. So if I'm thinking about this like an accountability mirror, I know for myself that when I'm over functioning, there's a possibility that somebody's not doing the work and I'm not holding them accountable, or I'm not clarifying the expectations, or I haven't been clear about the guidelines for doing something. Me over functioning. Sure. It's a problem in and of itself. You know, it's sort of a, I don't wanna say default way of being, but it's pretty close to a default way of being. But I've had to start to look at it as a symptom of I need to reflect on what's actually going on. What am I doing too much of, or not doing enough of? Like what, i'm looking in this mirror and saying, okay, Tara, am I modeling what I'm asking of somebody else? Am I enforcing standards? Am I holding people accountable to their role and what's expected of them? Am I excusing behavior? Am I stepping in as a function of a person being out? For example, my integrator just got back from maternity leave. Thank God, as a side note, it is so, oh my God, it's so relieving with her being back even in a part-time capacity, it's just a giant weight off my chest. That aside, with her gone, of course I was over-functioning because I was picking up slack that was expected. I'm not out of the business enough at this point that I am not picking up slack if a key leadership team member is gone. So, you know, maybe in the future if my integrator's out, I'm not gonna pick up any slack 'cause it'll go to people around us. But in this case, there's sometimes when over-functioning, for example, is based on circumstances and kind of unavoidable, that's fine. But when you have all the right people in the right seats and you're still over-functioning again, that's whenever I want you to pick up that accountability mirror and start asking yourself questions about your role in what is happening. Another thing that can happen when accountability is missing is that you're gonna start to get a sense that something's off, that people aren't very happy, that there's some like resentment starting to spread or you're maybe hearing grumblings or you know, you're hearing like whispers in the background about people being unhappy or they're frustrated or they're just feeling some low level or potentially even high level resentment. You also might pick up on this if more than one person comes to you and voices, um, concern about a colleague, you know, and saying I'm a little bit worried about them. Absolutely. There might be, you know, stepping in at that point. My point in all of this though, is that when we don't engage in accountability measures, we are indirectly going to, at some point, sow resentment. And when we can't talk about that, it festers and it gets infected and it potentially becomes toxic. It starts to poison the team and the culture. And from where I'm standing, we are only as strong as the people around us. We, of course, set the stage, chart the course, you know, set standards and whatnot, and your team plays a major part in helping maintain those. And so if you're saying to yourself, no, I'm the only one that really pays attention to the culture. They're not really gonna care. They don't really notice things. Yes, they do. They might not tell you, but they pay attention. They can feel the tone and the vibe of the space in the same way that you can. I do think that leaders, and I can only speak for myself, but I think broadly speaking, leadership can have a what's the word I'm looking for? I don't wanna say a gut sense or an intuition, but I sometimes feel like I pick up on things sooner than the people around me, which is probably largely reflective of my time with the group, like, you know, as the owner and the founder of the practice, and then also my time in leadership, and then also my experience working with a lot of these people for a long time. What I will say though is that as I have become a little more disengaged from the daily operations, from the clinical team, on a consistent, like tightly knit basis, it's my DCO who will voice things. And so I think there's something about the seat that's most connected to the team might actually have that like felt sense of, I think something's off without having the feedback yet. So I think just having a sense for who are the people, myself included, and you know those around me who might be most likely to pick up on some unspoken frustrations or unspoken resentment. Of course, use your own internal gauge, like, duh. I think everything we feel is, is some form of data, whether it's about us or about something that's going on. But also you wanna look for that data externally. And so that might mean we start to have some conversations with people around us. That might mean we start to like ask some real specific like pointed questions about what might be going on. I don't think it's fair to say just trust your gut. Like if you're feeling there might be resentment, then go for it. No, I, I don't think that's fair. I'm not gonna just trust my gut with something like that. I'm going to probably voice it to my leadership team and get some feedback from them first, and then maybe take it, you know, beyond that. If they also have the same sense, then I might go a little bit further and reach out to the team itself. Ultimately just to bring this little point home, if there is unspoken frustration and there's no space to share that we're gonna get resentment. We're gonna get that toxicity that starts to build up and really just spill over to the entire team. I think another thing that can happen when accountability is missing is that the standards just start to slip. This one's hard because when I say that standards slip if we don't hold people accountable, this has nothing to do with how I feel about people around me or how I view the people that I work with and who work for me, or how I believe that people thrive in various business settings. I really just think that there's something about a natural ebb and flow to work life. Like there's something about if you tell me to do 10 sprints at the end of a long practice, but then I see my teammate stop at eight and I'm exhausted, I'm gonna stop at eight. Maybe not the first time, maybe not the second time, but if every time this happens and one of my teammates is stopping at an eight count. I'm done. I'm thinking to myself, what the fuck? I'm exhausted. Like I'm exhausted too. Why are they stopping at eight? It doesn't seem like the coach cares. Like I might as well just stop. So I think the risk in not holding people accountable is that standards start to slip for not only people closest to that person, but then the surrounding group. Even the larger surrounding group, I mean, everybody within this organism now is not hitting the bar. They're not hitting what's expected of them. So am I gonna be, you know, fucking pissed that they're not hitting the numbers that they're supposed to? Yeah, probably not. I'm probably gonna be thinking with that accountability mirror, what are you not doing that they think this is okay? What have you not communicated? What have you not disciplined? What consequences have you not set? What expectations might not be clear? What's coming up for you that you're afraid of stepping in and addressing this directly? That's the accountability mirror, which is actually a great segue into our fourth agenda item, how to build this into your practice. Number one, like I just was doing, start with the mirror. Anytime something happens that is frustrating to you. Instead of pointing a finger, laying blame, addressing it with a little bit of a sassy tone or a little bit of attitude, a little attitudey judy, ask yourself what role you played. What has happened or is currently happening? The person in this role thinks that it's okay to behave in this way. What have I done or not done to facilitate that happening? This is what I mean by extreme ownership. I do think it starts at the top. So if I'm not holding people accountable, even the best intentioned people are going to slip, they're going to miss numbers, they're gonna miss metrics. They're going to be a little more lackadaisical than they set out to be in the beginning. So first and foremost, if you wanna build this into your practice, it's really starting with that accountability mirror, asking questions about yourself and your own role in it first. Second, lean into your systems. There's a 0% chance that you have no systems at your practice. Of course, you have systems at your practice, you have them. I don't know what they are, but you have them. Lean into them. So with hiring, where can we ensure that accountability is built into this? Whether that's who we hire and how we engage in the system, or it's how we talk about this in the process. Onboarding, same damn thing. How are we talking about this? How are we setting the stage for accountability? How are we holding ourselves accountable to doing this process well? And how are we communicating about accountability to the person who's onboarding into our group? Another way to build accountability into your practice is to normalize feedback. Man, I love feedback. I love every component of feedback. I love my internal state, physiologically, what might be happening for me in any given moment or situation. I love the checks and balances of taking that to leadership and discussing. I love hearing from them about what's going on. I love hearing from the team about how they're doing, what frustrations they have, what questions they have. I love all of it, and I like giving feedback too. If something's not going well, I wanna be able to sit down with somebody and say, Hey, this is actually what I want, so this is the way it's been going, but this is what I want instead. I think feedback should almost always be bi-directional. Maybe the exception is if you are engaging in a disciplinary process step, then that's a way more top-down. But if you're engaging in feedback, you're trying to help somebody course correct. I want that to be bi-directional. I wanna say what it is that I want instead of what I've been seeing. But I also wanna know from that person, how did we get here? What was your understanding of things? What might have helped you clarify earlier on what was missing from the training or the systems or the process? I want their feedback on this, so then I can make adjustments if and where needed. I feel like this goes without saying, but I am gonna say it anyway just in case. Feedback, bidirectional feedback, but feedback in general. It shouldn't be like a form of Gotcha. Gotcha now. Ha ha, you're caught. That's not what it is. Good feedback, which feeds into accountability. Again, we're talking about how to build accountability into your practice. Good feedback helps people evolve and grow and develop. Feedback done well helps people feel safe enough. To grow and evolve and develop. So if you are listening to this and you're thinking, hell yeah, I'm gonna do feedback and reviews and I'm gonna get people, I'm gonna get their asses. I think you need to process a little bit. I think you probably need to reflect on what is happening for you or maybe what is going on that you are excited about catching your employees doing something wrong or incorrect or, you know, needing some adjustments. And if I go out on a limb here, I would say you feeling excited about catching somebody in an act or catching somebody doing something wrong to me reflects your lack of speaking up earlier in the process. If you're to the point that you are excited, someone's gonna be in trouble, that signals a pretty high level of frustration that has not been tended to yet. If we introduce this accountability mirror here, the questions could be something along the lines of what has stopped me from speaking up? To what extent am I frustrated and about what specifically, how have I not been holding a line or holding a boundary? If I could change one thing right now to help fix this, what would it be? What might this person need to support them doing a better job? And to hit the expectations that I have? Hold that mirror up, start to reflect. I'm hoping that none of you are actually excited at the idea of getting an employee in trouble, so I'm just being a little bit facetious, but also there are people, I know people who get excited about catching somebody doing something wrong or excited about. I'm finally gonna get 'em, you know, they're gonna get somebody in trouble. For me, that's way more about the person excited about getting someone in trouble than it is about the person who's done something wrong, you know? So just to recap, building it into your practice, number one, starting with that accountability mirror, reflect on yourself first and foremost. Number two, lean into your systems. You have systems in place, lean into them. Hiring, onboarding, reviews. Number three, normalize feedback. It should be a constant at your practice. It should be just an ongoing thing. And the more you can make it about growth and support, the more people are gonna engage in feedback type processes. Okay, let's close this out. Recapping. Accountability is the mirror avoiding it causes shit to crumble and resentment to fester and trust to erode facing it and practicing it is what creates a cultural glue. Clarity of expectations, safety, trust, a healthy vibin', and rock in' culture, which is exactly what you want. That's really all I got. I always appreciate you being here with me, so thank you for listening. I for real. Love that you are here doing the work of building an intentional culture focused practice. 'cause who the fuck wants to be the place that sucks? I mean, maybe that's what this all comes down to. If you are in dire need or slight need of more leadership and culture tools or support, join the membership. It's inside the Living Practice. You can find it at www.taravossenkemper.com/the-membership. And if you want EOS resources, my favorite, just search out the EOS collective for group practices on Facebook. It's a free group. Just join. It's super easy to do. Otherwise, it's been real. It's been fun. Super appreciate your time. I'll see you next time. Bye.