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Reclaiming My Life with Soulla Demetriou · The Trauma Therapist

0:00
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Therapists podcast. My name is Gaming Person.
0:04
Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping
0:07
Speaker 1: those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you
0:11
Speaker 1: to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show.
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Speaker 1: So five four, three, two and one. Our folks, welcome
0:19
Speaker 1: back to the podcast. Very excited to have them my
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Speaker 1: guests today. Sula Dimitriu, Sula welcome.
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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me today. I'm really
0:27
Speaker 2: excited for this conversation.
0:30
Speaker 1: Awesome. Sula is a transformational coach and founder of soul
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Speaker 1: Shine with Sula, where she's guided thousands through somatic therapeutic coaching,
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Speaker 1: retreats and mentoring over the past decade. Her signature method,
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Speaker 1: the soul Shine Way, blends internal family systems, sematic healing,
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Speaker 1: self compassion, yoga, and mindfulness to help individuals untangle from
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Speaker 1: old patterns, regulate their nervous systems, and reconnect within her
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Speaker 1: wisdom and embodied freedom. Through a mercier of experiences and
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Speaker 1: group journeys, Sula creates a warm cigarette space for deep healing,
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Speaker 1: authentic expression, and living liberated. All right, Sula, obviously, just
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Speaker 1: a little bit about you before we get going, share
1:11
Speaker 1: with our listeners where you're from originally and where you
1:14
Speaker 1: are currently.
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Speaker 2: So I am originally from the UK. I'm British but
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Speaker 2: of Greek, Cypriot and Irish descent, and I live in
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Speaker 2: Spain and have lived in Spain for over ten years now.
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Speaker 1: Okay, sounds amazing.
1:37
Speaker 3: It's quite lovely.
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Speaker 2: I'm in a little island in the Mediterranean, Abitha, and
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Speaker 2: it's very beautiful. So I feel very lucky for that.
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Speaker 1: Very cool. All right, So how does it start for you?
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Speaker 1: How do you get into this space? This this? How
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Speaker 1: does this journey start?
1:56
Speaker 3: Well?
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Speaker 2: It is. It has definitely been a journey, that is
1:59
Speaker 2: for sure. And it started very much with my own
2:03
Speaker 2: life and my own experiences, having experienced quite a lot
2:09
Speaker 2: of upheaval and challenges at home growing up, challenges which
2:15
Speaker 2: I came to understand later as trauma. I started suffering
2:19
Speaker 2: with panic attacks in my teens and really struggled with
2:24
Speaker 2: emotional regulation, you know, with anxiety depression from quite a
2:29
Speaker 2: young age, so that by the time I reached my
2:32
Speaker 2: early twenties, I was diagnosed with a generalized anxiety disorder.
2:37
Speaker 2: I was having panic attacks and I would say that
2:39
Speaker 2: anxiety was really just dominating and contracting my life in
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Speaker 2: a very very painful way, because my unburdened essence, for
2:51
Speaker 2: anyone who knows me, is really curious and adventurous and courageous.
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Speaker 2: I'm an explorer, I love extreme sports, and I love
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Speaker 2: seeing the world, and I felt like all of that
3:07
Speaker 2: was lost to just this paralyzing, crippling fear that I'm
3:12
Speaker 2: sure anyone who's experienced anxiety can really relate to. And
3:16
Speaker 2: it just got to the point when I just felt
3:23
Speaker 2: that I had to find a way to free.
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Speaker 1: My How old were you at that point?
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Speaker 2: So I started having experienced of therapy I would say
3:32
Speaker 2: in my early twenties, around twenty three twenty four, and
3:37
Speaker 2: that kind of helped me get my head above water.
3:40
Speaker 2: But it wasn't really until the end of my twenties
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Speaker 2: that I embarked on a journey of really trying to
3:49
Speaker 2: reclaim my life and to find freedom. I think during
3:55
Speaker 2: those initial therapy sessions, which were kind of cognitive behavioral therapy,
3:59
Speaker 2: which I'm grateful for because they helped, as I say,
4:02
Speaker 2: they helped me get my head above water in terms
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Speaker 2: of panic attacks. They eased the panic attacks, But I
4:09
Speaker 2: really felt that there was this narrative because there had
4:14
Speaker 2: been such a history of mental health challenges and addiction
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Speaker 2: and struggle in my family, that this was just who
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Speaker 2: I was, and this was just something I was going
4:24
Speaker 2: to have to navigate in my life. And there was
4:27
Speaker 2: just a spark in me, a spark of my fire
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Speaker 2: maybe within that was like, no, I can't accept that
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Speaker 2: this is my reality, and so.
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Speaker 1: Let me let me just introduct you for a second.
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Speaker 1: So this this debilitating anxiety you mentioned panic attacks? What
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Speaker 1: else did that look like?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, it looked like a lot of intrusive thoughts as well,
4:53
Speaker 2: just a lot of fear everywhere and doing everything, Just
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Speaker 2: a sense of continual fear.
5:00
Speaker 3: For me.
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Speaker 2: I had a lot of health anxiety as well. So
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Speaker 2: I spent a lot of my time in my early
5:05
Speaker 2: twenties being sure that I was about to die, I
5:08
Speaker 2: was about to have a brain hemorrhage.
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Speaker 3: I was about to have a hard attack. I was
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Speaker 3: going to cross the road and get run over.
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Speaker 2: You know, if it wasn't health, it was also just
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Speaker 2: And I came to understand through my own journey and
5:18
Speaker 2: explorations and self education that the thing that was so
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Speaker 2: compromised me was a sense of safety and that had
5:28
Speaker 2: arisen through different experiences I'd had in my life, both
5:32
Speaker 2: in terms of growing up in my family environment but
5:35
Speaker 2: also having near death experiences.
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Speaker 3: So there was this real sense of.
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Speaker 2: Just how unsafe the world felt, both within me and
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Speaker 2: around me. And yeah, that was it pervaded everything. Really,
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Speaker 2: everything felt unsafe.
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Speaker 1: I too have anxiety, and what you're saying, oh my god,
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Speaker 1: that's a similar to me, like a lot of fear.
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Speaker 1: I can't pin it back to any like specific experiences
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Speaker 1: such as near death experiences or so forth. But so
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Speaker 1: kudos to you. You like you get help at some point.
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Speaker 2: Well, I would say I did get help, and I'm
6:25
Speaker 2: grateful about them for that help.
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Speaker 3: But I think a lot of what has guided.
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Speaker 2: My path is I've understood more and more about what
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Speaker 2: has helped me and what has gone on to support
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Speaker 2: so many others is that. You know, when I started out,
6:38
Speaker 2: no one even used the word trauma. No one talked
6:41
Speaker 2: about attachment theory, no one talked about the body, the
6:44
Speaker 2: nervous system, sematics. We're going back what twenty and a
6:49
Speaker 2: little bit years ago, and and I feel like I
6:52
Speaker 2: had to work it all out myself because as I say,
6:56
Speaker 2: the CBT kind of got my head above water, but
6:59
Speaker 2: there was a sense of still being so much pain
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Speaker 2: and suffering, and so at the round of the end
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Speaker 2: of my twenties, I started by thinking, if I could
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Speaker 2: just change all of my life, then I'd be okay.
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Speaker 3: So I moved to Brazil.
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Speaker 2: I moved to Brazil to kitesuff and I set myself
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Speaker 2: up so.
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Speaker 3: I would be living the dream.
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Speaker 2: And I was like, well, this is definitely going to
7:18
Speaker 2: sort everything out and outside the ex yeah. I was like,
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Speaker 2: I'll just change my work, my life and then it
7:27
Speaker 2: will be okay. And of course, you know the tough lesson.
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Speaker 2: Wherever you go you take yourself with you. And I
7:33
Speaker 2: found myself on the beach in Paradise living this dream.
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Speaker 2: I mean on paper, it was really everything.
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Speaker 3: I dreamt of.
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Speaker 2: And I was so anxious, so depressed, so unhappy, and
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Speaker 2: I was like, oh man, I am in trouble, like
7:51
Speaker 2: something has to change. And I just went on a journey.
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Speaker 2: I just went on a journey that started with yoga.
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Speaker 2: Yoga was the first door that opened for me, and
8:02
Speaker 2: then door after door just kept opening from there.
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Speaker 3: Or rather I should say I went knocking.
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Speaker 2: On many, many doors to see which ones open and
8:10
Speaker 2: to find the ones which for me were impactful and
8:14
Speaker 2: actually shifted my experience of myself. And as I say,
8:18
Speaker 2: then I had the beautiful opportunity that I ran a
8:22
Speaker 2: retreat center. I ran a retreat company, and in the
8:24
Speaker 2: beginning I had my own retreat center, and so I
8:27
Speaker 2: was really exposed to working with many, many people. And
8:30
Speaker 2: of course our clients are such beautiful teachers for us
8:34
Speaker 2: and mirrors of our human experience. And so as I
8:38
Speaker 2: went deep in my experience, I was able to understand
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Speaker 2: more about, Oh, this isn't just me, this is many,
8:44
Speaker 2: many people having these experiences, and the curiosity deepen. And
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Speaker 2: I always felt it was never that I had it
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Speaker 2: all worked out and I was guiding people. It'say, well
8:53
Speaker 2: this is the path I'm on. I feel like I
8:56
Speaker 2: want to share these things with you and take what
9:01
Speaker 2: is what works and resonates for your talkit what supports you.
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Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing that. I mean, I
9:08
Speaker 1: know a lot of people can relate. I certainly can
9:13
Speaker 1: relate to what you're saying. I know you're knocking on
9:16
Speaker 1: a lot of doors, but give us what was behind
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Speaker 1: one of those doors that really helped you.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I can tell you in a bit of
9:25
Speaker 2: a sequence, because there was almost a sequence to it.
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Speaker 2: So I'll give the first few steps that took me
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Speaker 2: to the practice I think changed and supported me the most.
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Speaker 2: So I started with yoga, which then took me to mindfulness,
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Speaker 2: and mindfulness really landed with me because of the Buddhist
9:41
Speaker 2: kind of teachings within that. It gave me this relief
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Speaker 2: of what it is to be human. To be human
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Speaker 2: is to suffer, and that really or rather, to be
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Speaker 2: humanists have pain, but suffering is optional. And so that
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Speaker 2: was the first door of learning mindfulness, learning how to
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Speaker 2: start finding the pause between stimulus and response of noticing
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Speaker 2: what was happening. But when I sat with that, I
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Speaker 2: was like, great, I'm really aware of all my suffering.
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Speaker 2: Now this is really painful. I'm very conscious now that
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Speaker 2: I am really suffering and I'm really mean to myself.
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Speaker 2: And then came self compassion, and I was like, oh, okay,
10:19
Speaker 2: now I can be present and now I can respond
10:22
Speaker 2: from a loving place. And I'm very grateful for teachers
10:25
Speaker 2: such as Tara Brat and Jack Cornfield. They were just
10:30
Speaker 2: such beautiful guides and that was a real balm for
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Speaker 2: my soul like oh, okay, I can respond in a
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Speaker 2: new way in friendship, and then from self compassion when
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Speaker 2: the greatest doors open, which was internal family systems. And
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Speaker 2: I am eternally grateful for the practice of internal family
10:49
Speaker 2: systems because where that was what kind of amplified the
10:53
Speaker 2: self compassion. It allowed me to go so deep into
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Speaker 2: the subconscious of what was actually happening, and to respond
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Speaker 2: to the protective parts of me, the inn critic, the
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Speaker 2: people pleaser, the endless achiever, and to meet them with
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Speaker 2: self compassion so they felt safe. And then behind them
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Speaker 2: I was able to meet the part that had never
11:14
Speaker 2: felt safe, that young part, and to meet and hold
11:17
Speaker 2: them with self compassion, and the part that felt deep shame,
11:20
Speaker 2: and I was able to meet them with self compassion.
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Speaker 2: So it was like a layering of the presence which
11:25
Speaker 2: allowed the recognition that something was happening, the compassion to
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Speaker 2: meet it, and then the layering and depth and depth
11:32
Speaker 2: and depth, which took me to like the real center
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Speaker 2: of my being and all these parts of me, which
11:39
Speaker 2: is obviously the language we use internal family systems, these
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Speaker 2: different parts of us, and to meet all of them
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Speaker 2: like this whole crew inside of me one by one
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Speaker 2: and be like, oh hi, I'm here to bring you
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Speaker 2: to safety and come back. It was, like I always
11:54
Speaker 2: call it, like a rescue mission. It was like diving
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Speaker 2: into subconscious and going and meeting part after part after part.
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Speaker 2: And that's definitely been the most profound practice I've ever
12:05
Speaker 2: had in my life. It forms a foundation of how
12:07
Speaker 2: I work with other clients, and everything I work with
12:11
Speaker 2: really comes from that. So I work up with a
12:13
Speaker 2: nervous system. Of course, the parts live in our nervous systems,
12:17
Speaker 2: so you know, all these pieces have been so important.
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Speaker 2: But yeah, with immense gratitude to internal family systems, I
12:25
Speaker 2: have an intention to try and share it with as
12:27
Speaker 2: many people as possible in the world because I think
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Speaker 2: what was so hard for me when I was in
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Speaker 2: so much pain I think so much pain, was that
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Speaker 2: I had to go on such a long journey to
12:40
Speaker 2: even work out what the practices might be that would
12:43
Speaker 2: help me. And I think this is why podcasts like
12:47
Speaker 2: yours are so important and so brilliant, because they help
12:51
Speaker 2: people find their way there faster, so our energy can
12:55
Speaker 2: go and actually doing the work that impacts our healing,
12:59
Speaker 2: rather trying to work out which work to do.
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Speaker 3: In the first place. Does that make sense?
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Speaker 2: It's like, can we actually help people get there when
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Speaker 2: they're suffering to those practices that really are impactful?
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Speaker 1: Thank you for that. We just remind everyone. I'm speaking
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Speaker 1: with Sula Dimitriu. She's coach and founder of soul Shine
13:19
Speaker 1: with Sula, and we're going to get to that. How
13:26
Speaker 1: when did you say to yourself and why that you
13:30
Speaker 1: wanted to start coaching and when did you found sol
13:35
Speaker 1: Shine with Sula?
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Speaker 2: So I founded Soulshine now it must be about twelve
13:42
Speaker 2: years ago. Started as a yoga retreat company. I am
13:47
Speaker 2: a yoga teacher and a meditation teacher. I set up
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Speaker 2: a retreat center and it really encompassed all my passions
13:57
Speaker 2: supporting people, travel, adventure. I ran snow and yoga retreats
14:02
Speaker 2: for years as well skiing with yoga. And it was
14:06
Speaker 2: through working with so many people. You know, my biggest
14:08
Speaker 2: year around forty two weeks of retreats, So you can
14:10
Speaker 2: imagine how many people I got in contact with. Yeah,
14:14
Speaker 2: it was a lot of retreats. It was a busy year,
14:17
Speaker 2: and yeah, I had to work with some of those
14:21
Speaker 2: parts afterwards, the ones that maybe pushed themselves a bit
14:23
Speaker 2: too much. That was a big year, but I worked
14:27
Speaker 2: with so many people and it amazed me how deep
14:30
Speaker 2: you could go in one week, Like really lives can
14:33
Speaker 2: change in one week in very beautiful ways. And I
14:38
Speaker 2: guess as I went deeper into understanding what really makes
14:42
Speaker 2: a difference in people's lives, I wanted to go deeper
14:45
Speaker 2: into the journeys with people longer than a week, for
14:48
Speaker 2: those that had real stories of trauma or were really
14:57
Speaker 2: struggling in their lives, I wanted to give them the space, deep,
15:00
Speaker 2: quiet work that would truly teach your life.
15:04
Speaker 1: And when you started started thinking about this, what made
15:08
Speaker 1: you think that you could do this, that you could
15:11
Speaker 1: you could start coaching people, that you could found a
15:16
Speaker 1: company like this. What made you think you could do that?
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Speaker 2: I think it was the same spark within me that
15:23
Speaker 2: gave me the courage to travel around the world and
15:27
Speaker 2: to give up my job in London and to to
15:31
Speaker 2: go in the pursuit of understanding how to free myself
15:35
Speaker 2: from this pain. It was that same same wisdom within
15:41
Speaker 2: I think one thing I'm grateful for is I've always
15:44
Speaker 2: had a strong intuition. I've always had this very strong
15:47
Speaker 2: sense of intuition and that's what got me to the
15:49
Speaker 2: point of beginning, you know, to do the.
15:52
Speaker 3: Work that I did.
15:53
Speaker 2: And then I suppose what strengthened that was just seeing
15:56
Speaker 2: the impact that the spaces that I was creating and
16:00
Speaker 2: holding was having on people's lives and just really feeling
16:06
Speaker 2: feeling I had the capacity. I certainly had to overcome
16:09
Speaker 2: some things to be able to feel confident in being
16:12
Speaker 2: able to hold that space and do that work. I
16:14
Speaker 2: had a lot of imposter syndrome about not being a
16:16
Speaker 2: therapist for a long time and not having a therapist
16:19
Speaker 2: training and being a coach. But what I realized is
16:23
Speaker 2: there was so much power in just people feeling safe
16:28
Speaker 2: with me. And I think that's probably what's helped me
16:33
Speaker 2: support other people so deeply, is because I have the
16:36
Speaker 2: parts of me that I've yearned for a whole lifetime
16:39
Speaker 2: to feel safe. I really understand deeply, not just from
16:43
Speaker 2: my head but in my body what it means to
16:46
Speaker 2: feel safe and to want to feel safe, if that
16:48
Speaker 2: makes sense. And I think I've just built the confidence
16:51
Speaker 2: around that from recognizing what happened to people and how
16:57
Speaker 2: they opened up and what unfolded through doing the work.
17:01
Speaker 3: As we sat opposite each other.
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Speaker 1: So currently as we sit here now, is soul shine
17:10
Speaker 1: with SOULA is that are you doing individual one on
17:15
Speaker 1: one coaching as well as retreats. Talk to us specifically
17:19
Speaker 1: about what you're doing.
17:21
Speaker 3: Yeah.
17:21
Speaker 2: So I run sociine retreats still. I don't run forty
17:26
Speaker 2: two a week a year. Rather I run about two
17:29
Speaker 2: or three a year now, And those retreats are very
17:33
Speaker 2: immersive experiences where my intention is to support people to
17:38
Speaker 2: come back into their self energy, because it's from that
17:40
Speaker 2: self energy that we have the capacity to really have
17:45
Speaker 2: the wisdom of what it is we need and to
17:47
Speaker 2: meet ourselves in new ways, in ways that are more
17:50
Speaker 2: compassionate and built on friendship and built on intuition. And
17:53
Speaker 2: so the retreats create this kind of pause where each
17:57
Speaker 2: person will receive the medicine that they need to be
18:02
Speaker 2: their truest self and to understand what's standing in the
18:04
Speaker 2: way of that. So that's the sociine retreat And then
18:07
Speaker 2: on the other side, I work one on one with
18:09
Speaker 2: people and those tend to be longer, deeper in a
18:13
Speaker 2: journey's six twelve months, sometimes longer depending on this, you know,
18:19
Speaker 2: what brings that person into the space, And yeah, those
18:23
Speaker 2: are the two main main ways that I work with people?
18:27
Speaker 1: Right now, would you say that you work with people
18:32
Speaker 1: who have a particular are searching for something particularly, or
18:39
Speaker 1: what who's your target audience? If we can use that freeze, well, I.
18:49
Speaker 2: Think to answer that question, I want to share that
18:51
Speaker 2: I have a book coming out next year, and the
18:55
Speaker 2: title of it, I think will answer the question, which
18:57
Speaker 2: is why I'm sharing it as opposed to just a
18:59
Speaker 2: book plug. The title is you Have Always Been Enough.
19:03
Speaker 2: And I would say that the essence of at the
19:08
Speaker 2: real heart of my work that is a belief that
19:10
Speaker 2: so many of my clients somehow struggle with a feeling
19:13
Speaker 2: that they are enough. And so it's really as broad
19:19
Speaker 2: as that in a way, clients who are struggling with
19:25
Speaker 2: their self worth within a criticism, with feeling enough in themselves,
19:30
Speaker 2: with feeling worthy, with feeling safe in their world.
19:35
Speaker 3: And within themselves.
19:36
Speaker 2: I would say that's probably a theme that will see.
19:42
Speaker 3: Across most of my clients.
19:44
Speaker 2: I like a lot with women, not just with women,
19:46
Speaker 2: but my retreat community is female, so it's women only
19:50
Speaker 2: on retreat, and I really see that wound very in
19:54
Speaker 2: a very pronounced way.
19:57
Speaker 1: That is such a kind of an ex essential theme
20:02
Speaker 1: that gets at the heart of obviously being human. And
20:06
Speaker 1: I think a lot of us such truly suffer from that,
20:10
Speaker 1: that feeling that we're not I know, I do, feeling
20:14
Speaker 1: that we're not enough, you know, And a lot of
20:19
Speaker 1: us are going to what was it where'd you go to?
20:22
Speaker 1: Brazil on the beach? You know? And that's gonna that's
20:25
Speaker 1: gonna fix everything. We do that in different ways, right, yeah,
20:31
Speaker 1: what really? Okay? Say then say again the name of
20:35
Speaker 1: the book.
20:36
Speaker 2: The book is you have Always been Enough, a healing
20:40
Speaker 2: guy to self love and in a liberation.
20:42
Speaker 1: Okay. And is that that's coming out next year?
20:46
Speaker 2: That's coming out in April twenty twenty six.
20:49
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, do you have that on your any
20:56
Speaker 1: info about that on your website? Yes?
21:01
Speaker 3: You do, Yes, I do. Yeah, So that will be
21:04
Speaker 3: it's available.
21:05
Speaker 2: For pre order at the moment, so okay, and there'll
21:07
Speaker 2: be lots of information about that to share on the website.
21:10
Speaker 1: Well, we'll talk about that at the end, okay. So
21:16
Speaker 1: for I just want to touch upon the retreats when
21:19
Speaker 1: you when you you said they're really immersive experiences. When
21:23
Speaker 1: you get this this this group of women together, is
21:28
Speaker 1: there an understand is what is the Is there a commonality?
21:32
Speaker 1: What is the thread? Are the retreats titled? Obviously they
21:36
Speaker 1: have some title that is drawing people there.
21:42
Speaker 2: So I've had different retreats over the years. I've been
21:45
Speaker 2: running for over a decade, and there are times when
21:48
Speaker 2: I do more focused immersions which might have a theme,
21:54
Speaker 2: such as Return to Self, which was a very deep
21:57
Speaker 2: kind of somatic healing eperience combining internal family systems, like
22:02
Speaker 2: quite a lot of psych education with breath work, and
22:06
Speaker 2: there's a very deep journey, very deep dedication to like
22:08
Speaker 2: we're going into a healing journey here. Or I also
22:11
Speaker 2: have an immersion which is really around self compassion, which
22:15
Speaker 2: similarly is really looking at why self compassion is so
22:20
Speaker 2: challenging for us and looking to heal and shift that
22:23
Speaker 2: within our system and through again education, coaching, workshops, embodiment.
22:30
Speaker 2: And I also have the retreats because many of my
22:32
Speaker 2: clients come and retreat every year and have been for
22:35
Speaker 2: eight or nine years, and that's kind of the reset retreat,
22:38
Speaker 2: and that's just like come create a pause in your
22:41
Speaker 2: life for a week to come back to yourself and
22:43
Speaker 2: to check in with what's going on and receive what
22:45
Speaker 2: you need to really find balance and regulation in your
22:51
Speaker 2: system and to connect back into your self energy, your intuition,
22:55
Speaker 2: and your truth. And so that one is about me
23:00
Speaker 2: creating a container that doesn't define their journey other than
23:08
Speaker 2: to say, I'm holding a container that is going to
23:11
Speaker 2: reveal what you need to know and understand about yourself
23:15
Speaker 2: right now of what is and isn't in alignment.
23:18
Speaker 3: So you can shift that.
23:19
Speaker 2: Both through understanding and through the body and through energetically.
23:24
Speaker 2: And that's what a lot of my returning clients join
23:29
Speaker 2: me for now. And I think the more I've worked
23:32
Speaker 2: with internal family systems, because yes, since of that is
23:34
Speaker 2: like can we come into relationship self to parts, the
23:37
Speaker 2: more I've understood the power of helping people come back
23:40
Speaker 2: into connection with their self energy, this energy where we're calm,
23:45
Speaker 2: we're curious, we're compassionate, because actually, when we have enough
23:49
Speaker 2: of that present, when we're in connection to that enough
23:52
Speaker 2: of the time, we can very much move from a
23:55
Speaker 2: place of needing to work it out, to do, to
23:57
Speaker 2: fix into just being. And so the great to give
24:01
Speaker 2: for all of us is to live as much of
24:03
Speaker 2: our time in that presence and in that in that awareness.
24:07
Speaker 2: And so if I can help people just keep coming
24:10
Speaker 2: back to that. It's almost like helping people just clear
24:13
Speaker 2: all the weather so they can see the sky again
24:16
Speaker 2: of their true self.
24:19
Speaker 1: I love that. How did the book come about? What
24:23
Speaker 1: did you want to say? What did you want to
24:25
Speaker 1: get out there?
24:28
Speaker 2: So the book came about because you know, going back
24:32
Speaker 2: to those years of running really an intense amount of
24:35
Speaker 2: retreats and working with many people.
24:36
Speaker 3: You know, I've worked with thousands of people.
24:38
Speaker 2: Now I really had this question first in myself of
24:41
Speaker 2: like wow, through awareness came the belief I've really struggled
24:45
Speaker 2: to feel enough.
24:46
Speaker 3: And then I was like, hold.
24:47
Speaker 2: On, loads of people are really struggling to feel enough.
24:51
Speaker 2: And my ADHD brain is like very much likes to
24:55
Speaker 2: work things out and to like understand everything. So I
24:59
Speaker 2: set off on this mission and like why do so
25:01
Speaker 2: many of us struggle with this? And through my own journey,
25:04
Speaker 2: as I say, the mindfulness and the self compassion and then
25:08
Speaker 2: these steps I took on one side of methodology, like
25:11
Speaker 2: a kind of roadmap began to emerge, which I call
25:14
Speaker 2: the soul shine Way because you know, it's this essence
25:17
Speaker 2: of how can we find a way that our soul
25:19
Speaker 2: can shine it's brightest, how can we let our light shine?
25:23
Speaker 2: And the heart of that journey was really about trying
25:27
Speaker 2: to answer this question to help people feel enough in themselves,
25:31
Speaker 2: and that's what the book is. It's seven steps going
25:35
Speaker 2: through this methodology which starts with the foundations of mindfulness
25:39
Speaker 2: and self compassion. Then we move into understanding you know,
25:43
Speaker 2: what is your inner emotional blueprint, through attachment, through the
25:46
Speaker 2: nervous system, through ifs like what are the things that
25:49
Speaker 2: have shaped us in our past that are impacting our present.
25:53
Speaker 2: Then we go into a healing stage of how can
25:56
Speaker 2: we reparent our system and be there for ourselves in
25:58
Speaker 2: the way we needed and that we need now to
26:01
Speaker 2: kind of cover reintegration before we go into integration, like
26:05
Speaker 2: how do we then continually build this reparenting relationship with
26:10
Speaker 2: ourselves and this compassionate relationship with ourselves through you know,
26:15
Speaker 2: polyvagal nervous polyvagal theory, like working with our nervous system
26:19
Speaker 2: through mindfulness, through embodiment practices. And then it's almost like
26:23
Speaker 2: that analogy of the iceberg that we often see with coaching,
26:27
Speaker 2: like what's beneath the surface? Once we've really done that
26:30
Speaker 2: inner work, it's like, well, how does that begin to
26:32
Speaker 2: express externally? Like so the next step is expression. It's boundaries,
26:36
Speaker 2: boundaries as such, a clear market, marcation of when we're
26:40
Speaker 2: feeling safe to express in a new way. Then expansion,
26:43
Speaker 2: what are our values? What is our truth of how
26:47
Speaker 2: we step into this world and connect with it before
26:50
Speaker 2: we come into connection, the connection with ourselves, with others,
26:52
Speaker 2: with spirit, or with whatever words feel true for that reader.
26:58
Speaker 2: And so this method do evolved from my journey, which
27:01
Speaker 2: then kept being really reflected back of what I was
27:04
Speaker 2: seeing really working with my clients, and this became the book.
27:09
Speaker 2: This is the book, and I was yeah, fortunate that
27:13
Speaker 2: a publisher, HarperCollins. The book really resonated with so it's
27:17
Speaker 2: going to be published.
27:19
Speaker 1: Sounds amazing, The book sounds amazing. I just want to say,
27:22
Speaker 1: you're amazing. You have this incredible presence about you. And
27:29
Speaker 1: all the while you're talking, I'm thinking, why doesn't she
27:33
Speaker 1: have men on her retreat? How come they're only for women?
27:42
Speaker 2: Well, for the moment, I have been wondering if we
27:45
Speaker 2: need to let some men on some of them, because
27:47
Speaker 2: it doesn't seem fair that the men don't get this space.
27:50
Speaker 2: There's something really powerful about having a space for women
27:53
Speaker 2: to just be something really mergical happens. But you know,
27:56
Speaker 2: I used to run retreats with men, and I have
27:58
Speaker 2: several men in our community who message me every year
28:01
Speaker 2: and they're like, still no, men, are we still not
28:04
Speaker 2: allowed to come?
28:05
Speaker 3: They're waiting to be allowed back. We might let them
28:08
Speaker 3: again soon.
28:10
Speaker 1: I get it. Well, Look, I still appreciate you being
28:14
Speaker 1: here and sharing your journey, and I just love the
28:20
Speaker 1: way you articulated the challenges you know, and I know
28:26
Speaker 1: a lot of people can resonate from this. How do
28:28
Speaker 1: people learn more about you about your book about Soulshine.
28:32
Speaker 1: What's the best way?
28:34
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you can find me on social media.
28:39
Speaker 2: I'm I'm soul Shine Underscore Soula or at my website
28:44
Speaker 2: sol Shine Retreats dot com, and then you'll be able
28:46
Speaker 2: to find all the things and connect with me through there,
28:49
Speaker 2: including the book. And I've got lots of really exciting
28:52
Speaker 2: things to share to celebrate this book because it's something
28:57
Speaker 2: I'm extremely proud of and I really hope to get
29:00
Speaker 2: it out to the world because I really believe in
29:03
Speaker 2: the practices and want to make them as accessible as possible. So, yeah,
29:08
Speaker 2: come find me on social retreats dot com or online,
29:12
Speaker 2: and always always love to hear from people as well.
29:16
Speaker 1: We'll have all those linked up here at the show
29:18
Speaker 1: notes page at the Trauma Therapist podcast dot com. So
29:22
Speaker 1: love to have you back, love to having you here,
29:25
Speaker 1: Appreciate you.
29:27
Speaker 3: You, Thank you so much, what a delight to do.
29:29
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.
29:31
Speaker 1: B