Latest / Billy & Lisa in the Morning: The After Show / The Queen Is Here...

Transcript

The Queen Is Here... · Billy & Lisa in the Morning: The After Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: All right, welcome into the After Show podcast. Everybody. It
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: is Wednesday, April eighth. We have a special guest in
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: the building. I've been talking about this for a while.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: One of the most requested people on the podcast, my
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: wife Jen. Hi, beautiful, you look sexy today.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, good morning.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Thank you for coming in making the drive in. How
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: was the drive I hit a little bit of traffic,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: but it wasn't bad really coming down this way?
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because what time? Well, it's ten o'clock. Now
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: what time do you leave?
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: I just headed out right after I job the kids.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, so it took you an hour to get
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: here almost. Yeah, thank you for taking the time out
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: to come visit me in the After Show. Army, you
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: are one of the most requested guests. People ask me
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: all the time they DM they leave talkbacks because they
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: only get my side of things, not yours. It's kind
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: of a one sided thing. Although everything that I say
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: is nice because I love you.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: Well, Justin's never asked me to come on the podcast.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: So I know, I know. And it's so funny because
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: every time someone asks or makes a request, I'm like,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: oh yeah, yeah, I'll ask her, but I never do
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: because I didn't think he'd show an interest in coming on.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know, but when I asked you last week,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: you said yeah, which was nice of you.
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I'm happy to be here. I mean, I work
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: from home, so my my life's kind of flexible to
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: be able to do that. So here I am.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And you are a nurse, yes, an r N yes,
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: and in school to be an NP.
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: Correct.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: So when you become an NP, that's when you'll be
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: carrying me. I mean you kind of carry me now too,
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: but you'll be really carrying me when you're an NP
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: and you can write prescriptions, right, I will prescribe you all. No,
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be prescribed. What I mean is
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: you'll be carrying us as a family. Financially you can
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: make the big bucks.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Well, I do also have a few people that need
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: to be prescribed, and.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you do. I'm sure you do. I will
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: say that I don't if I ever told you this,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: but you know, I want to do want to go in.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: There's some question. There was a question about you being
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: a nurse in your story, in your process of becoming
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: a nurse and going to nurse and school and all
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: that stuff. But I will say that when I'm home,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: when I come home from work and you are working
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: from home, and you're on calls all day and meetings
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: all day, and you are a manager, you manage other people.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: You are an addiction treatment. You know. I sit there
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: and I listen to you, and I hear you talk
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: all this like medical terms, and I'm like, damn, Like
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: I don't even understand what you're saying, but you're saying
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: it like you're a nurse. That's your job. This is
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: what you study to do, so we do for a living.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: But hearing you say it is kind of it's really
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: amazing to me. I'm like, wow, kind of blows me away.
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: This is a fun fact for anybody. So Justin really
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: doesn't believe that I'm a nurse.
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: That's not true.
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: It's true. He's my worst patient, Okay, And anyone who's
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: a nurse knows that anybody who lives in their household
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: is their worst patient. Justin. I will give Justin medical
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: advice he does not take. We'll ask in another nurse,
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: like his brother is also a nurse. He'll take the
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: same information that I told him. Ask his brother. His
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: brother will give him the same information and he runs
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: with it. I am not a nurse to him most days.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: You know what. That's kind of like, It's kind of
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: like our son Abel. Yeah, I'll say to Abel, I'll
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: give him some advice or I'll tell him something and
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: he won't listen. And then somebody else outside the family
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: will tell him the same exact thing, and he'll be like,
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: oh my god, you're so right. Yeah, it's kind of
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: the same. What is that. That must be a name
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: for that. I believe you're a nurse. I know you're
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: a nurse.
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: No, I know, but you're you are my worst patient.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: The kids are my worst patients.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it must be a family thing. Yeah, But when
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I'm sitting there listening to you, I'm like, damn, my
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: my wife's wicked smart, wicked, wicked smart. So I know,
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: especially you know, the stuff that we've been through is wild.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: You know. I'm very open about my life and my
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: story and my addiction and getting clean. You obviously are
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: also in recovery. You have been cleaned since two thousand
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: and seven, went back to school, became a nurse. That
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: was your dream, and you know, we built this really
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: beautiful life and I'm grateful for that. I know you
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: are too, And I think that our story definitely does
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: resonate with people because it shows people that you can
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: find a better way to live and you can build
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: your dream life, you know, by doing the right thing.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Wouldn't you agree?
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely? I mean back back in high school, if
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: you had asked me where I thought my life would
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: be when I was forty, definitely not the road that
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I would have took.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: Well, tell everybody what when you were younger, what you
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: used to say to your friends about what it was
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: going to be like when you were old.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Oh he's going to do that to me?
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: Now this is the let me pause right there. This
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: is the you're not live on the radio, You're on
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: the after show. I know. After show is no it's
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: a safe space. The people that listen to this, my
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: p people are called the AFT to Show Army. They
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: are non judgment judgmental, They don't they don't care about
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: anything that you done wrong. They are loving and they
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: are kind. So go ahead. When you when you were younger,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I'll ket when you were younger used to say what
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: to your friends about when you get older? You don't remember?
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: I do remember I used to say that I was
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: going to be an old lady sitting on my porch
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: drinking a blunt.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: And you don't drink blunts, you smoke them.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: Smoking the blunt and drinking a forty. Yes, because back then,
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: in the nineties and early two thousands, like that's what
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: we did. But knowing now what I knew, if I
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: knew then what I know now, life can take a turn.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: It definitely can. It definitely can. You know, we each
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: have our own story, and you know, we met each
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: other when we were teenagers. We were I think I
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: was I think I was sixteen and you were fourteen
• 6:03
  Speaker 1: maybe or fifteen and thirteen.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: I wasn't. I wasn't that young. I was going I
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: was actually going to Blaine in Malden. I dropped out
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: of high school and went to beauty.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: School when you were how old?
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: When actually, fun fact, my building master which he used
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: to call those as like your principal back in the
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: day in high school, actually called me into his office
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: and told me encouraged me to drop out of high school. Yeah,
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: he said, you're and I remember I was sixteen because
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: he said, you're sixteen. Now you can do this without
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: your parents' consent.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: That was and that was ninth grade. Yeah, yeah, because
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: you didn't make you didn't make it far into ninth grade.
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: Right, So I went my first year of ninth grade,
• 6:46
  Speaker 2: but I wasn't there, like we used to leave, like
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: check in for first period and leave out the back door.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: And then I returned the following year thinking I was
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: going to be in tenth grade, and they were like,
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: you weren't even here for ninth grade. You're still in
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: ninth grade?
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Oh right? You had to repeat.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I mean he said, I mean you could
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: just drop out now, it's probably your best option.
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: What Nanny saying when that happened.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: I mean nanny Nanny was with me at that point.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you drove her crazy like I drove my
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: mom and dad crazy.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Oh absolutely. I mean I used to take the whole
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: high school at the back door and go to my house.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, okay, So you were yeah, so you were
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: sixteen and I must have been seventeen or eighteen, right, yeah,
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: so you were in You were in at Blaine and
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Malden and then we became friends through another girl that
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: you were in school with who was kind of connected
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: to us, and then you dated my best friend. You
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: kinds of were hooking up at the time, and we
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: would like party, you know together. At that time, it
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: was more like drinking a lot of pills, right.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: Yes, smoking blunts and drink and smoking.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm just trying to think of We hadn't
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: graduated to like real hardcore heroin or anything like that
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: at that point. That came down the line, right, you
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: know what I mean. So we were hanging out for
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: how long was the period that we were hanging out for?
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Do you remember? A few months? Maybe?
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Honestly, that whole period of my life is like a blur.
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, me too. I remember that we were hanging out
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: for a while. I went to your house. I was
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: at your house. I didn't meet your mom, but we
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: were hiding in your room because your mom came home.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: We weren't supposed to be there. That was my first
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: introduction with nanny. So we were up in your room
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: and she wasn't supposed to be there, and she came
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: home and you were like, fuck, hide in the closet.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: So you stuffed me and my friend in your closet
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: and then locked your door. And I just remember your
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: mom banging on the door. Java open the door, and
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: I was fucking scared as shit. I know, what the
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: who the fuck was that person behind the door, And
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: that was my first like introduction to Nanni, you know,
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: And then we ended up getting out. I didn't end
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: up seeing her. I think you stuck us out the
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: window or something. You don't remember that I.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Do remember, but I think you guys ran out the
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: front door. Okay, I remember you running down the street.
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because we didn't we didn't actually see I didn't
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: actually see your mother. And it's funny because after that
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: we had this. It became like an urban legend kind
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: of for a short time about your mom that she
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: was this monster because you know, you know Nanny. I've
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: played clips of Nannie. Right, she's very loud, She's very lively.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: So think about she's loud when she talks normal. When
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: she gets loud and screams, it's a completely different animal.
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so that's a memory that I had. So
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: you you were hooking up with my friend and I
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: kind of was there doing my thing. And you know,
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: I think that we developed a friendship, right because I
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: remember we used to talk on the phone and a
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: lot of what we talked about was that you were
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: dating my friend who was really just a piece of
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: shit and was treating you like shit. So then you
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: would talk to me kind of as a friend. But
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: for me, you were like, you know, a bad, bad bitch.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean, if you will, you know,
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: and you were like everything that I wanted, you know,
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: and a girl. But you know, I think at that
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: time you were trying to go with a bad boy
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: that was like, you know, the bad boy. He was
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: better looking, I will say that, and you were in
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: your bad girl era. You weren't trying to get with me.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: But it was clear that we had developed a friendship
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: because we would talk all the time and you would
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: say things like, you know, you're gonna make a really
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: good boyfriend one day. I remember that you would say
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: that to me.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, actually, this is a fun fact. So back then
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: at that time, you're right, like I was into like
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: the bad boys and settled for less and Justin actually
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: had a girlfriend at the time. I had a boyfriend
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: at the time, and I remember, I don't know if
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: anybody remembers, back then, we used to call the party
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: line who's in here?
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, who's in here?
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: Who's in here? And Justin and a few of his
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: friends used to call the party line. We used to
• 10:53
  Speaker 2: call the party line. And I also remember talking to
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: you on the party line and talking to you, inventing
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: to you about that guy that I was dating who
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: was a total asshole, and you'd be like, Oh, you
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: deserve better than that.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're a nice girl.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: And I was like wow in the back of my head,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: like I always had like this soft spot for Justin
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, his girlfriend's like lucky, Like
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: you must be like a really good boyfriend, but you.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: Would just but I never you were just young and
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: that's where you were at the.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Time, right, Never like picturing myself being that girlfriend like
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: years later, you know what I mean.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, So the last time I saw you, and
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: this is this is probably the most mind blowing part
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: of it all. Okay, so the last time I saw you.
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: So when you were dating my friend, you had a
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: childhood boyfriend that you were with for years, but he
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: was in dys at the time, so you kind of
• 11:51
  Speaker 1: was split up from him.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: So then you ended up breaking up my friend. We
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: went our separate ways, and then you ended up getting
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: out getting back with your old boyfriend who had gotten
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: out of jail dys and so the last time I
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: saw you, I ended up getting a girlfriend, a serious girlfriend,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: and I was selling pills and you had called me
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: to buy some pills from me. And you came to
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: my house in Maldon with him and I was with
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: my girlfriend. I remember you came into my house. I
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: sold you whatever. We walked outside, I said goodbye you
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: and him walked away. I was standing on the porch
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: with my girlfriend and you were walking away, and I'll
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: never forget I had the thought in my head as
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: you were walking away, I was like, well, I was
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: looking at your giant ass because that was, like, you know,
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: a highlight for me. I mean, I loved you as
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: a person, but it was an added bonus that you
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: had a big butt, which I liked, just being honest.
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: So as you were walking away, you and your big butt,
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: I had the thought like, damn, that's a lucky guy,
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: you know, as I'm standing next to my girlfriend. And
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: that was the last time I saw you. Okay, so
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: fast forward. We reconnect via MySpace. So before I get there,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: I will say that you went your way, I went
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: my way, and our addictions crushed us right Eventually, the
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: drinking and the pills and smoking blunts on the porch
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: became sniffing cocaine, shooting cocaine, shooting heroin, homelessness, jail, prison,
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's a part of your story. It's a
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: part of my story. You gave Nonny a nervous breakdown.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: I gave my father a nervous breakdown. And so fast forward,
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: you know several years to two thousand and seven. I
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: ended up going to I went to jail, I got out,
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: I got paroled, halfway house, all that shit. Same thing
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: happened to you. I ended up at a sober house
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: in Amesbury, and then after I got out of there,
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: I was at a rooming house in Haverol. You went
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: to Women's View in Lawrence. Shout out to Women's View.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: You graduated there, and you were living in Lawrence with Nonny.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: This is two thousand and seven, just to catch you
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: up on the timeline, and this is when my space
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: was really big. And I'll never forget you know, through
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: the years that we didn't see each other, there were
• 13:53
  Speaker 1: times where I heard your name, Like there were times
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: when somebody was like in detox with you that I
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: knew was on at Cambridge Court and There were a
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: couple of times I remember where they were like, oh
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: remember Jen Gillis because that's your maiden name. I'd be like, yeah,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: you saw her and I I always be like how
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: she look? Like, how's she doing? And it was always like, nah,
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: she's not doing good. You know, she was in court
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: for age getting arrange for this case or whatever. So
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: you're in Lawrence, I'm in Haverol. My space is popping.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: My friend Bobby Surprise, one of my best friends. I've
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: talked to her on the show. Bob one day says
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: to me, yo, you know who added me on MySpace?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: Jen Gillis? And I was like, what, who is it? Yeah?
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: I was like no shit. So I ended up looking
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: you up and I think I added you when you
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: messaged me and you were like, oh my god. When
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: my space was still open, I would go back and check.
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: I could look at the old messages. You're like, oh
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: my god, you're in Haverol. I'm in Lawrence. What are
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: the chances?
• 14:49
  Speaker 3: Hey?
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: So then we added each other and you know, it
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: was all good. We were communicating and then one day
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: I think I said to you, Hey, would you want
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: to meet up up? You know, and you said, I'm
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: coming to Haverol for a meeting if you want to
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: meet me at the meeting, And I was like anti
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: meetings at that time. I was like, you know, clean
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: but not clean.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: I was not clean.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: Well, I was like clean like Monday through Friday, and
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: on the weekends. I wasn't clean, and I wasn't trying
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: to go to meetings. It was just not good. So
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: you were like, come to the meeting. Basically you said
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: to me, like I just got clean, I'm staying clean.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: If you want to see me, come to the meeting.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: So I went, and that was kind of my reintroduction
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: to recovery into meetings or whatever. So I went to
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: the meeting, I saw you, and I just remember like
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: walking into that meeting was on a Sunday night, and
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: you came out and you were like you were like
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: dressed down, you had a sweatsuit on, your hair wasn't done,
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: you weren't like all dressed up. But still I was like, damn,
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: she looks as good as she did when she was younger.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: And that was kind of my reintroduction. When we became friends,
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: we started hanging out and that was our reconnection. And
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: so you would come over to my house and haver
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: add anything if you want here it's you're on the
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: podcast too.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: Well, any memories that you have you can add in. Yeah.
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: Well I remember I remember you coming to that meeting
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: and I was I was actually just coming back at
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: that time, and you had told me like that you
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: were clean, and we went I think we went on
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: a date to the movies. I was living with my
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: mom and Lawrence, and he passed me up in like
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: this old white buick that was leaking gas, dripping gas
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: out of the car, and we ended up going to
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: the movies. You had to pull over like three times
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: to fill the gas tank with your drug of gas.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: I remember we were smoking cigarettes at the time, and
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: every time we had to throw the cigarette out the window,
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: we were petrified it was gonna catch the gas and
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: blow up.
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: I think this was actually two thousand and six too,
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: maybe maybe seven, maybe it was early two thousand and seven, okay,
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: And we went to the movies and you this was
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: our first date, our first date, like after reconnecting, and
• 17:03
  Speaker 2: we went to the movies and you were catching flies
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: in the movies in a straight nod. And after the movie,
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: I was like, what's up with you. I thought like
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: you were like in recovery. I thought you told me
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: you were in recovery and you were clean, and you
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: were like, I am, I'm just so tired. I was
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: landscaping all day and I was like this, dude, I mean,
• 17:25
  Speaker 2: you can't bullshit a bullshit all right, So I mean once.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: You know, you know, I know, and I was high
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: as a kite.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I still I actually still bring this up to
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: this day when I remind Justin when he was a landscaper.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Well, I do the landscaping at our house, and so
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: she's always like, oh, remember you were a landscaper, because
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: you know, when you're getting high like that, you think
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: nobody knows. And that's true. Yeah, our first date, I
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: was high as a kite and I nodded out in
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: the movie. You never let me forget that. And so
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: this was September August, September of two thousand and seven.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: I remember because we went on our first date and
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: then we were hanging out. You would come over to
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: the rooming house or I would pick you up at
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: your mom's house. And just to get back to that
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: last time that I saw you before, like you know,
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: back in like whenever. That was two thousand and two
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: thousand and one. I don't I wonder if you remember this,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: but the Red Sox were in the World Series. We
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: were watching the game. It was like Game four or
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: Game five, so now its October, and I remember that
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: you were trying to act like you knew baseball because
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: I was really into it, and you were just saying
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: like you were saying basketball terms in football terms, as
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: if you know, you knew what you were talking about it.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: It was kind of cute. But I remember we were
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: watching it and the Red Sox had won and we
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: were kind of laying sitting on the couch, and I
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: think at that time, so when we started hanging out
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: at the house, I remember, like, you know, we would
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: kiss and stuff, but I would try to do more
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: and you wouldn't let me, And like that always stuck
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: out to me, And you know, I produced a Riley
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: on the show. We have conversations about this too, because
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: she's dating, and we have conversations about that, like, you know,
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: hooking up too fast, you know, and my whole life
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: growing up, we had this like misogynistic view that if
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: you meet a girl and you go out on a
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: first date, with her. As a guy, you want to
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: go all the way because guys are just dogs. But
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: if the girl gives it up too fast, like on
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: the first date, it's like you want it, and you
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: take it and you have fun, but when it's done,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: you judge her on that because you start thinking to yourself,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: how many other guys is she giving it up to,
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: which is kind of fucked up. I'm just being honest.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: So the fact that you made me wait, I was like,
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: what the hell you know? But I remember that day
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: watching the Red Sox. The game was over and we
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: were talking and you said to me, this is after
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: the togetherness. I won't go into details, but we were
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: sitting there and just to like give give context to
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: the moment and the reason why you said this, but
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: you said, you remember the last time that I saw
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: you and you were with your girlfriend. And I said,
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: I said yeah, and I never told you what I thought,
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: And you said, I just remember I have this memory
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: that last time I saw you, when I was walking
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: away with my boyfriend. I thought to myself, that's a
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: lucky girl. Do you remember that.
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: I don't remember the.
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: So this powerful moment, this emotional moment that I just
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: brought up that I had shared many many times on
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: this podcast and on there. You don't even remember.
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: You've told me the story before. I don't remember. I
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: don't remember the World Series game and watching it at
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: that time too. I think you said it was like October,
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: so like my clean date is November twenty seventh, two
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: thousand and seven. So at that time I was kind
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: of like chipping away.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: So you were high on the date. Likely maybe is
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: that why the sex was really hot? Maybe could be,
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: but hi or not. I remember you telling me that
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: story and my my head that thought like she's the one,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: like this is meant to be, you know, And so
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: we started dating and yes, your clean days November, so
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: I was kind of chipping. They call it chipping. That's
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: why I was. I wasn't see when you start doing opiates,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: you don't want to catch what's called a habit and
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: get addicted to it, meaning you need it every day,
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: because that sucks. You're like handcuffed. So what you do
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: is you get what's called like a like a chipper.
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: You do it every few days. So I would not
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: get high during the week and then do it on
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: the weekends, never more than two days in a row.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: It's a real sickness. So that's what I was doing,
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: but I was also pretending to be clean. Get it,
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: Like I was lying to you about going to the movies,
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: so you had relapsed. And it kind of the tables
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: turned because that those weeks leading up to you going
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: to detox, I knew you were getting high and you
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: were lying to me and saying you weren't high. Like
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: I would pick you up to go out at your
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: mom's house in Lawrence and you would be fucking jam sandwich,
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: hold the peanut butter, and I'd be like, are you
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: all right, and you'd be like, yeah, I'm still clean.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: And eventually, you know, mid November, you had enough and
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: you knew you needed help and you went to dtox. Yeah.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: You drove me into my last de talk Danvers Detox.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah. And actually I vividly remember that. I remember Justin
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: came and dropped off. I called you from Danvers and
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: I was like, I need you to bring me cigarettes.
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: So I mean a cotton of cigarettes back then was
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: like she a Christmas present to anybody.
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and Justin.
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: I remember it came to the Detox and dropped me
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: off of cotton of cigarettes with this cute little teddy bear,
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: and all the girls in the detox were like, oh
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: my god, you're a man.
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: That was me.
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I actually forgot about the teddy bear.
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: It had a little teddy bear.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: Oh okay, So you did a week in the detox
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: and you came out gung ho. I remember I picked
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: you up. We went back to my house. We're hanging out,
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: and I remember you saying to me like, this is it.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: This is life or death for me. I'm going all
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: the way in and I'm like, yeah, me too, Like you.
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: Know, well, it was a little different back then because
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: I had it was I had some involvement, like in
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: the program, I had a connection with people. I had
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: a sponsor. I was going to meetings like that was
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: my life. So I mean even there's like a book
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: called Just Fit Today where it has like daily readings.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: I was like reading it in de talks and like
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: making copies for people, like I had some knowledge. Yeah,
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: at that time, that was just like a short STEMP
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: for me. So I knew what I was going back to.
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: It was like the first time you went right, Like
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: I knew.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: I knew the difference between being in recovery and being
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: an active addiction at that time where you didn't have
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: like that foundation before.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: That, I had no foundation, right, Yeah, you reintroduced me
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: to that. And that's also where you met your best
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: friend Kerrie, wh who's still clean today and still been.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: Me and Kerry actually went to d talks together and
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: I am still clean to this day. Is still one
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: of my A one day ones who I could call
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: for anything.
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and now she is a what is what is
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: even her title? Now?
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: She's actually a clinical director, had a big tree the facility.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: She's a late act too, an licsw.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: I see what I mean with the medical terms. Who
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: who would have thought? Okay, so you get out of detos,
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: I pick you up. I remember we had a conversation
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: in my room because I was in a rooming house,
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: tiny rum, and you said, I'm going all the way
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: in on this. If I do not, I will die
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: and I don't want to die. And I was like,
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: I'm with you. So we started hitting meetings and started
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: like staying clean, going meetings every single day. I got
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: into it. I got really into NA.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: Typically that doesn't happen for a lot of people. It does.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Our story is very unique.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: They tell you not to get in any serious relationships
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: within the first year, to focus on yourself. So our
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: story is a little different.
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: But you know, my response is to that always I said,
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: I agree, it is different, but it's also a unique
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: situation because we knew each other from before, so we
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: had a history. It's not like we got clean and
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: met at a meeting and hooked up, you know, just
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: getting clean.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: True. So the difference also is granted, like we smoked
• 25:00
  Speaker 2: and durank forties like in our teenage years together, but
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: like we never like got high together.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: Yes, which is actually probably what saved us. Absolutely, So
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: we we go in right O seven goes into two
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: thousand and eight. I am giving an honest effort to
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: stay clean. I think I put together a couple of
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: months and then the monkey woke up a little bit
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: on my back. Okay, so now we're gung ho going
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: to meetings. But I relapse, and what I was doing
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: was driving down to Malden picking up not going around you,
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean, as much as I could.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: But what I was doing was I would go down
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: and pick up drugs, come back, spend the night with you,
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: and then when you went to sleep. I would sneak
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: away and get high and just be there high by myself.
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: And so obviously you're like a detective. People that don't
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: know my wife is.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: I am a part time detective.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: It's unbelievable. Like when we talk about cheating, obviously, the
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: Mike Rabel story is big today, like was he cheating?
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: I always say I don't cheat because obviously I love
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: my wife. I would never want to hurt her obviously
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: with number one. But number two is she would find out.
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, And there's like no question at all you
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: would find out anyway. So I relapse. I'm getting high.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: You know it, but you can't prove it.
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: Again, you can't bullshit a bullshit.
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: It, I know. So you confronted me a couple of
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: times and I was like, no, what, I have a sponsor.
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: Now I'm not getting high. And so the last day
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: I got high was June twenty fourth, two thousand and eight.
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: It was again we were hanging out. I had some stuff.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I was waiting for you to go to sleep, and
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: I remember I was getting annoyed because you wouldn't go
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: to sleep. We were watching TV and I'm just like
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: looking over waiting for you to close your fucking eyes.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, honestly, this, this whole story makes me sad. I
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: don't even want to talk about this story, but.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Justice, it's important to talk about it.
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: But Justin went into the bathroom, came out, pretended like
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: I was sleeping because I'm a detective that was on
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: to you. And I went into the bathroom post Justin
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: leaving the bathroom and found some paraphernalia in the bathroom.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: So it confronted him. And then you, I mean, you
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: came clean and you were like yeah, like you're right,
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: like the gig is up and you've been clean since.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Okay, yes, now you want to hear it from my side,
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: I'm waiting for you go to sleep. You finally fall
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: asleep or pretend to. I go in the bathroom. I'm
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: in there, and I'm nervous because the bathroom is right there,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: and I'm scared that you're gonna wake up, Okay, and
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you I'm just a warning here for
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: people that I'm gonna be graphic. Okay, So if this
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: triggers you in any way, please turn it off and
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: come back or something. I don't know. Fast forward on
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: the podcast. But I was in the bathroom and I
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: had my I had a syringe, and I had the
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: belt and I had tied off and I was trying
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: to hit myself and I couldn't because I was very
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: nervous and my hand was shaky, and so I started sweating.
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: So I'm in there, legit, and I know it's graphic,
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: trying to poke myself in the arm, trying to hit
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: a vein. Okay, I know she's looking at me. This
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: is the after show. I know this is a fucking
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: raw shit. I know, are you chewing gum while recording?
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: Actually I'm on a I am.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, that's not professional. I know it's your first time
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: on the listener.
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: I am not a professional radio producer personality.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: All right, you are right. I'll give you the benefit
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: of the doubt. So I'm doing my thing. I can't
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: I'm sweating, I'm nervous, and it's taking forever, and I'm
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: just like my heart's beating. I remember, I just wanted
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: to get it done and lay down on the bed
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: and just enjoy my high. And all of a sudden,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: just like Nanny many years ago, you banged on the door,
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, yeah, what's going on? And you're like,
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: what are you doing in there? So I gather my
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: stuff and I didn't know what to do with it.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: So I look around the bathroom and I just put
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: on the bathtub and I shut the curtain and I
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: came out, and you were like, the fuck are you
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: doing in there? Nothing? I was going in the bathroom.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: It's fine. So I go in the room and now
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: I'm really nervous. Right, my heart's beating, and I'm like,
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: is she gonna fine? No? No, you just going pee,
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: It's no big deal. And then you came out of
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: the bathroom. You walked into the room and you had
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: the belt and the needle in each hand, and I'll
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: neverget the look on your face. You had this look
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: of like just sadness and fear, you know, and you
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: said something like I had no response, but you said
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: something like I didn't know what to say, but you
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: said you started crying, and you were like, I can't
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: do this, like for me, this is life or death,
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: and if you can't stay clean, we cannot be together.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: And so I started crying and I said I want
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: to be clean. I want to be clean, and if
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: you give me another chance, I am going to jump
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: in full force. And it was at that time that
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: you know, when I share in meetings or when I
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: share with people that I sponsor anybody in recovery, I
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: talk about the opposite club. And what that is is
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: they have a term in recovery called the no matter
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: what club, where you don't use, no matter what, right,
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: no matter what happens in your life, you don't use.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: Someone dies, you lose somebody, you lose your job. It
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: doesn't matter. No matter what happens, you don't use. And
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: it's kind of a mantra to live by. It's very important.
• 30:11
  Speaker 1: But what I kind of go by is the no
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: matter what club and the opposite club. The opposite club
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: is how I got clean was I did the opposite
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: of what I always done before. Right. It's a very
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: simple thing. I never did things that were suggested in
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: the program right by other people in recovery, like asking
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: for help per se right, or getting a sponsor, get
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: you know, building a network of people. I never did
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: any of that stuff because you know, I had this
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: big ego. You know, I was a street kid. You
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: know I had been to jail, and I lived by
• 30:41
  Speaker 1: that code. So like asking people for help, I would
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: never do. But it was in that moment that I
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: knew that I had to go back and I had
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: to give my all, and I just thought about it.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: I literally thought about it, like how am I going
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: to do this? I'm just going to do the opposite.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: And so when I went back to recovery, That's what
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: I did. I legit. We went to meetings every day.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: I sat up front, I raised my hand, I got
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: a sponsor. I started.
• 31:05
  Speaker 2: We were on tour back then.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, and it really became a part of our life.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: Tour. I mean we went to every convention, every Damnce
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: meetings daily, We went to the World Convention in San Diego.
• 31:18
  Speaker 2: Tools Yeah, I mean we were on tour.
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we had the NA gear, we had the shirts,
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: we had everything.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, going into hospitals and institutions, trying to like
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: share the message.
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you had a song that said keep coming. I did,
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: because you know that's another mantra in recovery, keep coming,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: keep showing it up. So that was that was coming back.
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: There are pictures on Facebook on Memories of like Christmas
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: in twenty eleven, twenty twelve, and you got me a
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: bunch of like recovery stuff. You know what I mean,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: shirts and bandanas and speaker CDs and all that stuff.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: So it became like a really really huge part of
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: our life and still is, you know. But then there
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: was the the part of me gaining all the weight
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: and uh, you know because when I look back at
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: pictures of that time, I was as big as a house.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: Remember that, Yeah, And I always remind justin that back
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: even back then, because like sometimes you forget, like I
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: I I fell in love with you for like the
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: person that you were, like, not what you looked like.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: Much different than way back in the day, right right.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: You were, but you were still like that that gentle
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: soul and like you we like grew on each other
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: like built like something back then that like I didn't,
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: it didn't matter to me if you were three hundred pounds.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know. You know why I bring it up
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: because it's it's an important part of our story because
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: you know, now I'm this like fitness freak and people
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: that's what people know about me. I'm really into the
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: gym and stuff. I lost a bunch of weight and
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: it's become such an important part of my life. But
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: back then when I had you know, because I got
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: clean and I started eating right, and I gained a
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: lot of weight. I had ballooned up to like over
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: three hundred pounds. And so it's really tough to look
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: at pictures of me and you back then because you
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: look pretty much the same, right, and you got me giant,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: and you never once made a comment about my weight, Like,
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: never once said, hey, you know, maybe you should lose
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: some weight, maybe you shouldn't eat that, or maybe whatever.
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: You literally showed me the definition of unconditional love.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would never. I would never make a comment
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: to bow your weight. But sometimes now, like because those
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: who know justin now, he is like a fitness guru
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: and he's like, oh, I got a nice pump, look
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: at these veins, and he wants me to say something
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: about those. But again I don't. I mean, it's not well,
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: I'm not like, oh yeah, I look at that pump.
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: Well, I always say, I always say to her, I'm like,
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: you know, well, I always say I work out so much,
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: not just for health, but so you know I can
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: look good, look good naked for my wife. Great.
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: And then I remind him, I mean, yes, do do
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: you look better physically? Now? I don't know if that's
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: what like he wants to hear. Do you look better
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: physically now? Do I then you did in two thousand
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: and eight? Absolutely? But do I love you any different?
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: No?
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Again, I know it's unconditional love. You didn't make any
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: comments when I was big back then, and you still
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: don't make comments about me being fit now, you know,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: but I do.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: But back then I wouldn't say like, oh, so and
• 34:36
  Speaker 2: SO might pick you up at the gym, but like now,
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: like ooh the girls looking at you at the gem.
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: Not that, Not that I have any uh concern or
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: jealousy because like that's just not the type of person
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: that I am.
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: I've never given you a reason to be jealous, as
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: you have never given me a reason, right jealous right right?
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: I mean that's the truth. But when I think back
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: to those days, I just think it couldn't have been
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: comfortable with my giant body on top of you, oh
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: my lord, Like that couldn't have been fun, and you
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: never said anything, so you never you.
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: Know, I'm still alive in breathing, that's right.
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: I didn't suffocate you. That's so true. That's so true.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: But yeah, you know, recovery is just it really is
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: what bonded us and it's what allowed us to build
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: the lives that we have. Yeah, and so we get
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: married in twenty fourteen at Atkinson Country Club. I proposed
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: in twenty twelve. So I lived in the rooming house
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: with in Haverol until twenty twelve. We saved enough money
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: by working at friendlies, both of us different friendlies. I
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: got a job cooking, You had a job serving at
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: different friendlies. But we ended up saving enough money. We
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: got an apartment in Harol, and then I proposed on
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: Christmas twenty twelve. I got on my knee in my
• 35:56
  Speaker 1: underwear on Christmas morning.
• 35:59
  Speaker 2: And it's actually funny because like we our life was
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: kind of like laid out like traditional, like we like
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: dated and we got an apartment, and then you proposed
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: and we got married, and then we had kids and
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: we bought a house and that's like the traditional like
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: way you would normally do it, which doesn't happen that
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: after these days, and we didn't even plan that. It
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: just happened like that.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: But don't you think that we we did consciously make
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: an effort or we consciously decided that we didn't do
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: the typical attic thing where we moved right in, you know,
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: I mean, obviously the money was an issue, but we
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: kind of took it slow. We didn't move in right away.
• 36:37
  Speaker 2: Well no, but you know we did not. You actually
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: found an apartment that was two houses down from Justine's
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: farming house. Yea, so we were neighbors for quite a
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: few years and I could just walk over to Justin's
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: room house two houses down.
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true. That's true. So in twenty twelve, I
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: had saved enough money to buy a ring. It wasn't
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: a ton of money. I remember. I went shopping for
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: the ring having no idea about jewelry and engagement rings,
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: and when I saw the prices of the rocks, I
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: was like, I'm fucked. And then I talked to the jeweler,
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: and the jeweler was like, look, I know you don't
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: have a lot of money. Here, I'll just give you
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: a heads up. When you buy a diamond and it's
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: like a one full rock, it's a lot of money.
• 37:17
  Speaker 1: But if you get it broken up into little diamonds,
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: it's much cheaper. So I bought a diamond ring that
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: from afar looked like a giant rock, but up closed
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: you can see It was many, many, many tiny diamonds, but.
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: It was really pretty. It looked like a snowflake.
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: And you loved it.
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: It looked like a snowflake. And the fact that you
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: proposed on Christmas was it kind of like meant something
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: to me like a snowflake ring.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: Do you remember how I did it? I?
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: Do you? Actually? I mean what kind of question is that?
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: Well, some things you seemed to remember and something you don't.
• 37:48
  Speaker 1: You don't remember that.
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: I don't remember when I was like in a blurred out,
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: drugged state, but I remember being clean my life.
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, So how did I propose to you?
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: Put it? I wanted to That was like when Pandora
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: was big. Everybody had like the Pandora bracelets, all the chimes,
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: and I wanted a few of like the new Panora
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: charms at that time. And you put it in a
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: Pandora box. Totally got me.
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: And I put it in the back of the tree.
• 38:15
  Speaker 1: So it was the last gift.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I definitely wasn't expecting that for sure.
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: So you picture it, I'm like, oh, there's one more
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: way in the back, and she said, oh, this is
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: my big gift. And she opened it up and it
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: said Pandora.
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: I was like, yes, my charm.
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you opened it up. And as you
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: were opening it up, when you got to like actually
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: lifting the box up, I got on my knee and
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: I was in my underwear, which was really weird because
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: I sleep my underwear, so that was really weird. But
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: I remember calling Nanni though, your mom because your dad
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: has passed several years. So I called your mom and
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: asked her for permission, you know her, you know, to
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: propose to you.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, how'd that go?
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: I'll never forget. I was with Santy, you know, because
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: I was on jamming at the time. We were doing
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: an event or on the way home from the event,
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: and I called Nannie and I said, you know, I
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: just want to ask for you know, Gen's handed marriage.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: And she was like, are you sure you want to
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: do that? Do you know what you get yourself into?
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: I remember Santi was in the back laughing his ass off.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: He's like, what the fuck was that? You know? That
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: was just naughty being nanny And.
• 39:12
  Speaker 2: So you knew from the beginning, Uh, knew what what
• 39:15
  Speaker 2: you were getting yourself into?
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, of course I always did. Yeah, I always knew that.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: So we got married in twenty fourteen, and that was
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: a great time. That was a great day. It was
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: our dream wedding.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't believe it. I mean we were just
• 39:27
  Speaker 2: talking to Ashley before coming in here. She was actually
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: at our wedding and shoulder the new ring that we
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: just got in Aruba, and I was like, yeah, the
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: other one was a deck over a decade old.
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: Like imagine, yeah, you had broken the ring. You don't
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: know how, but you must have smashed it on something.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: So that was like a year ago, right.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: I didn't smash it on anything. The ring, I mean,
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: rings just get old like it. One of the stones
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: fell out of the prom.
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: Oh, I thought you hit something with your hand.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: No, I don't remember.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: Well I got you a new one in Aruba. Yes,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: and this time I was able to get an upgrade,
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: an upgraded ring. That's a whole a whole rock. Not
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: not there's anything wrong with like broken up rings, but
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: I think that's your more deserving of that one.
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's definitely blinding.
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So we got married. We honeymooned in Saint Lucia.
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: You know, we didn't really travel much growing up, you know,
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: because drugs and things like that, you know, we didn't
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: have your typical high school, go to college, you know, travel,
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: We didn't do any of that stuff.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: We didn't have spring break.
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah. So I remember, like we went the first time
• 40:36
  Speaker 1: we went on a plane since we were like probably
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: little kids really we didn't even remember, was the World
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: Convention in San Diego and that was twenty eleven. I
• 40:44
  Speaker 1: remember we were taken off and as the plane was
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: like going up and we're kind of we looked at
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: each other like, holy fuck. We held hands.
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: We're going together.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So we vacated. We honeymooned in Saint Lucia, which
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: was beautiful. That was twenty fourteen. And then again I
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: just feel like I feel like we did things right
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: in the fact that we didn't move in with each
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: other right away, We didn't have kids right away. We
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: kind of we waited until it was not to say
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: it was the right time, but we gave it enough time.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: I guess is how you would say.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think honestly, like when people when people
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: like have kids, I don't. I really don't think that
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: there's ever a right time, because like you could say,
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: like that you want to be in a certain place in
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: your career or you want to be at a certain
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: place financially, but there's never really like a right.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Time, right, No, I agree, But we had able in
• 41:38
  Speaker 1: twenty seventeen, you were stable. Definitely, for sure. Definitely definitely
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: we had able when we we rented an apartment, another
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: apartment that was the apartment we got. We we wait
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: where we.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: We bought a house when Abel was like six months old.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: I remember, yeah, our first house. I remember him being
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: like in a walker on the hodwood floors and I
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: have a video of that time.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yep. And then we were able to buy our
• 42:02
  Speaker 1: dream house in Salem. And then twenty twenty two, our
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: daughter Gemma was born yep, and now we have one big,
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: happy family's it. Yeah. So obviously my career has taken me, like,
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: you know, crazy place. I had gone back to school
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: when I got clean in two thousand and nine, two
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: thousand and eight, two thousand and nine, I went back
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: to school while working at Friendly. He's got the internship,
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: you know the story, at Jam and ended up working
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: at Kiss. And I've kind of worked my way up
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: through the years, through a lot of hard work to
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: get where I am. But you obviously talked about dropping
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: out in the ninth grade from high school. You have
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: been a server. You were your hairdresser, but then you
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: were a server.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: Fun fact, I am a licensed hairdresser.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: You are. Yeah, you cut our nephew's hair this past
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: the weekend.
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: Before I'm retired. I mean, I used to do it
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: a lot more on the side.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: But you were also high as a kite when you
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: were in school. I don't, I mean, were you not?
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: I for sure was. But I know how to cut hair.
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, now you do. I mean I watched it firsthand
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: last weekend. So but you know, when you were working
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: at friendlies, you were a server. You worked at a
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: Tuscan kitchen. And so I guess the best way to
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: describe it is my whole life. I always have been
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: good at school. I just didn't apply myself. I was
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: the kid where the teacher would say to my parents,
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: he has so much potential, like he's a really smart kid,
• 43:25
  Speaker 1: but he just doesn't care. He doesn't put the effort in,
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: and it comes easy to him. Academic academic, academic, it
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: comes easier to him, but he just doesn't seem to care.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: You know, I ended up in alternative schools, and I
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: was with the kids that had real learning disabilities. I
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: had no learning disability. And it's really sad because when
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: I think back I used to have I used to
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: pretend that I was stupid. I used to pretend that
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: I didn't know anything when I knew when I knew
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: all the answers, and I was like way ahead of
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: what the other where the other kids were at. And
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: that was just like my decisions. Right, Whereas you are
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: very smart, but not the best in academia, right, that
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: wasn't your strong suit. I always think about you as
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: you were way more street smart than books smart. Would
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: you agree?
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like I feel like I could if
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: you could fight your way out of a paper bag,
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: or I mean, I'm very resourceful. I'll say that. When
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: I was in school, I not that I didn't apply
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: myself or didn't really learn. I just had really low
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: self esteem where I told myself like that I was
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: just stupid. Right, I was like, I'm just dumb.
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: So funny you say that. It's so funny you say that,
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: because that's where I was leading to is when I
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: went back to school. When I was in school, you
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: were just like working as a server, and I remember
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: having conversation with you, and you would say things like
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: that to me.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: I made good money as a service.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, No, you're a hustler.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: I mean if I was a server for the rest
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: of my life, I would have been okay with that.
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: And I.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: Didn't think like that I could go back to school
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: or to apply myself any other way, because I was like, no,
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: I'm like too dumb.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, no, for real, you you didn't have
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: a lot of confidence in yourself when it came to that,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: and but you know you you crossed that bridge, you
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: walked through that fear and went back to school, started
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: at the bottom, just like I did at Northern Essex,
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: and you worked your way up all the way through
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: nursing school, which brings us to our first question from
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: a talk packer.
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: Hi, this message is for Jen as someone who is
• 45:28
  Speaker 3: recently sober. I'm very curious myself on nursing school. I
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: just had a question on how did you start? Where
• 45:36
  Speaker 3: did you go? How did you begin? Just I still
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: feel kind of lost in my life and I'm not
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: really sure of what lose I should take right now.
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: I'd love to know more about nursing school. Thank you.
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: Oh I love this one. I love talking about nursing school,
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: especially to people who are.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Lost, and she's newly sober too.
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: Also newly sober. Congratulations and congratulations not even thinking about
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: your future for sure, I will say for me, So
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: when I when I first got cleaned and sober, nursing
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: wasn't at like the top of the list again, because
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: I thought, like I was, I would never make it
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: through nursing school. Like I knew nurses, I knew people
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: who went through nursing school and they were like, oh,
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: nursing school is like life or death. So I really
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: didn't think I had like the grit to even make
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: it to nursing school and never might throw it. So,
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: like any good newly sober person in recovery, I went
• 46:39
  Speaker 2: to I actually went to school for human services before
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: I ended up switching my major into nursing, and my
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: plan was to get my laid ACT license, so I
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: am a certified alcohol and drug counselor. I did get
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: my certificate and graduate that, and I could have went
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: on to do supervision hours and probably could actually take
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: the lated ACT test now because I have enough of those.
• 47:02
  Speaker 2: But there's really there really was no money in it,
• 47:04
  Speaker 2: and I knew I wanted to help people, but I
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: also had to think about my future, right, and like
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: think about being like financially stable, and healthcare was like
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: where it's at. I mean, you would always have a job,
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: Like in healthcare, you would always have a job as
• 47:20
  Speaker 2: a nurse. And like I think thought back to like
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: that time when I was at Damna's detox and I
• 47:25
  Speaker 2: was so sick that time. I remember I was most
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: of the time in my detox before that, like I
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: would never vomiting, like wasn't my thing. But this time,
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: I don't know what it was in whatever we were
• 47:39
  Speaker 2: doing back then, but I was just puking and pukery
• 47:42
  Speaker 2: and pukery and miserable. And I remember this nurse brought
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: me into the nursing room, shut the door, and she
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: was like, I keep giving you orals over but it's
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: not working for you, which is like a medication to
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: help you with like nauseor and and she was like
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: bendova and I.
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: Was like what the hell.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she was like I'm going to give you an
• 48:06
  Speaker 2: im in your butt of I am Zolfran because like
• 48:10
  Speaker 2: you you.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: Look rough, like I am is intramuscular. Yes, people that don't.
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: Know, sorry, So she gave me an im of Zolfran,
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: and I literally was like a different person. So like
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: I remember like that nurse like taking like that extra
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: time to like bring me in the room and giving
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: me like that extra care, and like she was like
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: non judgmental. She knew like that I was hurt and
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: she's seen like other people coming through and she just
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: took that extra time for me, which like I really appreciated.
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: So when I was thinking about like going back to
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: nursing school, I definitely wanted to want to help people,
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: but I wanted to do something within like the recovery realm,
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean, like helping people with addiction
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: just making more money doing it.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's not a ton of money and just basic
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: you know. No, if you go and get.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: Your masters like carried, like you can go on and
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: like be a program director and all that stuff, like
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: there is money.
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: But I.
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: Said, you know what, like whyt I go back to
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: nursing school. And it took me a long time. I'm
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: not gonna lie.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: It was a slow role.
• 49:19
  Speaker 2: It was a slow role. I did my prerequisites for
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: like two years. I took one class at a time.
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: I can remember in twenty seventeen, I was pregnant with
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: Abel and I actually am a graduate of Regi's College
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: out of Western and I went to like the Hybrid
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: at Launce Memorial Hospital in Medford. That's where like the
• 49:44
  Speaker 2: Hybrid Regis was at that time, and they had nights
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: and weekends, so like I could still work. I just
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: had to find something like that fit for me and
• 49:54
  Speaker 2: our growing family because I was pregnant at that time.
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: I remember driving like nine months pre with able to
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: Western because I had to complete some more pre rod
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: classes there.
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: Well, that's good advice for that person that that top packer.
• 50:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, to take it take it slow, one day at
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: a time, I mean appcially newly sober. Yes, especially newly sober.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: I mean working on the pre RECs. That's gonna that's
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: going to take a while because you need they say
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: a B and c's before you can even apply to
• 50:24
  Speaker 2: nursing school, which is anatomy and physiology, biology and chemistry,
• 50:28
  Speaker 2: all the science stuff.
• 50:29
  Speaker 1: I thought it was algebra. It's anatomy. When you said ABC's,
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: I was like algebra.
• 50:35
  Speaker 2: Now anatomy and physiology one and two, biology and chemistry
• 50:39
  Speaker 2: is usually what you need. I mean, there are math
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: classes in there as well.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: But but you did that, I did, I did all.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: I remember it. Like they say, when you go through
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: nursing school and you have a partner and a family.
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: Just went through nursing.
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: We go through nursing school for sure, you know. And
• 50:54
  Speaker 1: I also remember, you know, if you're a longtime listener
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: of you know, the kiss went away in the morning
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: show the Mattie and them want to show. The big
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: storyline was that our son Abel was in the bed,
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: in the in the marital bed. That was like a
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: big joke. And you know, I probably explained this before
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: that you were so deep in nursing school at the
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: time where and I got up so early, whereas you know,
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: when he was in the bas and net next to
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: the bed, it was a matter of like putting him
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: in the bed so you can get some sleep because
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: you're working and going to nursing school, you know what
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I never would have picked, like looking back,
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: I would have never picked to have my kid in
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: bed with me for years, But like at that time,
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: like you're gonna do what you gotta do. Yeah, So
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: like that's why I tell parents like that have to
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: have like their kids close sleep, Like, listen, I had
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: to do what I had to do to get some sleep,
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: Like everybody needs sleep.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: Right, I mean, look at me, you know, I always
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: say it was some of the first pieces of advice
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: I give new parents is you know, if you're a
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: guy and you're in bed and you're sleeping, and you
• 51:53
  Speaker 1: wake up in the middle of the night to your
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: your baby crying, you just close your eyes and don't move.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: Get don't take Justin's advice, all right, get up and
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: move that beauty for your wife, change that diaper, let
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: your wife's sleep.
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: Well, you were good about it because as soon as
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: the able started crying, you were right on it. You know,
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: even if I tried to get out, you were like
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: right on it, you know what, because you're like the
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: best mom ever. Thanks, You're very welcome. So you graduated
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: nursing school. You are now an RN and now you
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: are in NP school to be a nurse practitioner, a
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: psychond p.
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: Well to this, to this talk back or like, don't
• 52:30
  Speaker 2: sell yourself short, take it slow, do the prerecs as
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: you can apply to a bunch of schools because you
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: might not get into one. And just take it slow.
• 52:39
  Speaker 2: I actually have a friend right now who isn't isn't
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: that great like academically either?
• 52:46
  Speaker 4: Uh?
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: And she she hasn't gave she she's not given up,
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: like she's just no matter what, like have that mindset
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: like no matter what, just keep going. It's going to
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: be tough, but it's worth it in the end.
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: Anybody can do it.
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: Anybody listen. If I can do it, you can do it.
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: I know we say that all the time, but it's
• 53:05
  Speaker 1: so true, so true. So I listened. I work on
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: the fucking radio. Are you kidding me? I'm a three
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: time felon like record every day too.
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: I mean, thank god, I'll give a shout out to Obama.
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: I'll say that I'm not going to get political on
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: your podcast, but I'll give a shout out to Obama
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: because he had at that time, back then, he had
• 53:23
  Speaker 2: like the Cory Reform Act, right, So I hadn't gotten
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: in trouble in so many years that I was able
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: to actually stale my Cory to apply to nursing school,
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: to apply to jobs where I didn't have to explain
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: my past, which was a first.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: So do you remember when we applied for that? Because
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: I did too. I got my record stilled the same time.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: Do you remember what happened when we applied and then
• 53:49
  Speaker 1: got them back. Yeah, I'll remind you.
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: Did we have to wait like a year or something?
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, No, not the waiting. Not the waiting. So we
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: both applied at the same time to close our records, right,
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: And I was joking with you and I'm like, yeah,
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: what's yours? Like one page long? Your record? And You're like,
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: I don't know how long it is. I'm like, oh,
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: mine's probably like twenty pages long, mister tough guy. Right.
• 54:11
  Speaker 1: They eventually came in. Records came in. My record was
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: nine pages long of all my arrests, my history. Remember
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: how long yours was? I don't It was twelve Yeah,
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: twelve pages long. And I remember when I came in,
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, what the the hell were you doing
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: out there?
• 54:30
  Speaker 2: He wasn't a tough guy.
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: I wasn't a tough guy that no, for real, for real.
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I should mention too that you did when
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: you became a nurse, or when I went to school
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: or whatever. You did get a job at Danvers Detox.
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: You did work there for a short short time. I did.
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I worked in quite a few g Talxes, But.
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: Danvers is the one that you were at like thirty
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: times and the last one that you were at that
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: I picked you up at. So that's a cool part
• 54:54
  Speaker 1: of your story.
• 54:54
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: Right to be back there as a nurse. A lot
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: of people go through treatment and go through detoxes and
• 54:59
  Speaker 1: they get and they go back and work as like
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: a support staff. That's very common. Yeah, maybe even a counselor.
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: But to come back as a nurse is like a
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: whole different animal.
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: Well, I did that while I was at nursing school.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: You don't remember. I worked at a few residential programs
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: pregnant driving. I worked at an adolescent treatment facility in
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: Lawrence when I was pregnant with Abel and I we
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: used to take them to meetings. I was like a
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: support staff and I was whipping around it pregnant in
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: this white van, bringing like fifteen adolescent girls to meetings
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: and it was I mean, it was fun times back then.
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I do remember that actually, now that you bring
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: that up, Yeah, it's just been a crazy ride. And
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: then of course we moved to Salem, New Hampshire. We
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: bought our dream house, which actually is uh, you get
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: the credit for that forgetting the forgetting that house.
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was a that was a sneak.
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: Well, you dope, feed me into it, you know. I
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: look what happened though, No I know, no, no, I see.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: Divine intervention just happens in life. So just follow me,
• 56:02
  Speaker 2: you know what, You follow the queen. The queen.
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: The Queen's always right, but sometimes I have to learn
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: the lesson the hard way. I will admit that. You know,
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: I'm a guy, have an ego, and I think I
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: know all, but you are. You are the boss in
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: the relationship. But the story real quick. So we lived
• 56:16
  Speaker 1: in Haveral and we were going to sell our house.
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: This is when COVID happened. So our house, like skyro
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: rocketed in value, so we have a lot of equity in it.
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: So we were looking around for a house with an
• 56:25
  Speaker 1: in law from our mother and my mother in law
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: who lived with us, and we're looking around. We had
• 56:29
  Speaker 1: a budget of like five hundred thousand dollars, so we
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: were searching. We'd like to go to New Hampshire, a
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: southern New Hampshire. So we're looking around all over the place.
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: We're putting an office, it's not working, and Jen finds
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: a house in Salem, New Hampshire that has everything that
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: we need. But the house was like five hundred and
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: fifty thousand dollars, and so she said, let's go look
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: at the house. And I said, absolutely not. I'm not
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: going to look at this house and we can't afford it.
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: I'm just not going to do it. And you were
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: like huh, okay, fine. So she then went into her
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: old school dope fiend mode and the next weekend she
• 56:58
  Speaker 1: found a house, an open house in Sane that was
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: right near the dream house. Okay, so we go there,
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: I look at the house, we leave and you were like, oh,
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: remember that's that house that you didn't want to go see.
• 57:09
  Speaker 1: It's right there, Like, why don't we can just drive
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: by it?
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was an open house. I was like, we're
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: driving around this weekend going to open houses, let's go
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: see this house.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, already here. Fine. So we
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: drive to the house. We walked through and I was like,
• 57:22
  Speaker 1: oh my god. And I called the money guy and
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: said what can we do? And he was able to
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: get it raised, and we wrote a letter to the family.
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: It was a nice family, and we got the house. Yeah,
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: that was in twenty twenty. December of twenty twenty, we
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: moved out of Haveril into Sale in New Hampshire and
• 57:39
  Speaker 1: we've been there ever since. Yep. And I love our house.
• 57:43
  Speaker 2: I love our house too, I love our neighborhood. I
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: love the kids' school. I love everything about it. We're
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: not too far from the city and like off of
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: the grid. I still have chickens.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: But you know all the chickens. Yeah, there were people
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: want to know about the chickens, the possible midlife crisis
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: when you got them. But I will say again I
• 58:03
  Speaker 1: was wrong because I love the eggs. I eat the
• 58:06
  Speaker 1: eggs every single day.
• 58:07
  Speaker 2: Fun fact, Justin's actually the only one that eat eggs.
• 58:11
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't know if anybody else has chickens,
• 58:13
  Speaker 2: anybody else. Maybe I'm just so weird now, but I can't.
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: I can't eat the eggs. I don't know why.
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: Well, well, they're like your babies.
• 58:23
  Speaker 2: Well I was a little I'm all. I've actually always
• 58:26
  Speaker 2: been a little weird with chicken, like if it doesn't
• 58:28
  Speaker 2: look right. I don't know, I'm weird, like with meat.
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: I'm not a vegetarian, but I'm like weird with meat,
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: like everything has to be well done. The chicken looks
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: like weird. If it's like rubbery, it's like m mmmm.
• 58:39
  Speaker 2: But after we got the chickens, I like couldn't eat
• 58:41
  Speaker 2: chicken for a while. I was kind of depressed. But
• 58:44
  Speaker 2: I eat chicken now.
• 58:46
  Speaker 1: Not the eggs. I don't eat the eg You eat eggs,
• 58:49
  Speaker 1: but you don't eat your own eggs.
• 58:50
  Speaker 2: So I was never really like a big egg person. Anyways,
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: I needed to be like be in the mood for eggs.
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: But after washing chicken poop off of them, I know, yeah.
• 59:00
  Speaker 1: I eat. I cook them when they're washed, right.
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: I washed them for you, But that's what I mean.
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: I'm the one washing the poop off them.
• 59:07
  Speaker 1: So well, you got to picture this, right. So we
• 59:09
  Speaker 1: have a coop. It started as a tiny little coop, okay,
• 59:13
  Speaker 1: and so that was fine, but there were too many
• 59:16
  Speaker 1: chickens for the small area. So then Jen had a
• 59:20
  Speaker 1: guy extend the coop and build this huge rut run
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: it's called a run run run, yeah, a run. Yeah.
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: So now we have a giant chicken coop that they
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: can be freeing and they can you know, go around.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: She cleans it, she maintains it all winter. You had
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: it all boarded up with tops and everything.
• 59:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they made they made it through their first winter.
• 59:40
  Speaker 2: You don't I don't have a heater. No, you had
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: heated water, right, because the water would freeze out there,
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: so it was like a water that you plunge in.
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: You also have it fully under surveillance from every angle.
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you shared the video. I think of
• 59:55
  Speaker 2: the raccoon family that tried to get them.
• 59:58
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah, listen.
• 59:59
  Speaker 2: Actually it's the her birthday. I got them last March.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: Oh really, yeah, so they're they're a year old. They
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 2: made it through their first winter, and we've had no intruders.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: I mean we have, but they didn't make it through
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 2: Fort Knox.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: So and they all have names, right, Hennifer, Gerty, Dottie.
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 2: They don't all have names Brownie, Well you have Brownie one, two,
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: and three.
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the Brownies don't. But the other ones well because
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: because like Hannifer's giant, she's the biggest one. She got
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 1: a big booty.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: That's why her name is Hannah.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: That's what I love, right, And then you have Dottie
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: who has dots on her yeah, and then Gurdi where
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: girty come from? Nannie? Yeah? Yeah, because Nanny's name is Grace, right,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: and they call Grace gurty.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 2: They used to call Grace curty.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: She's also gray and Nanny get a lot of gray hair.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 1: Oh yeah yeah. Don't let her hear last. So yeah,
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 1: I love eating the chickens. I really do, I really do.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: So wow, this has been fun. Have you had fun?
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: You seem to be opening up a little bit. You're
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: a little nervous in the beginning.
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 2: Well, I have a cold, so I wasn't sure like
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: how it was going to sound so.
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: Little behind the scenes for the app to show army.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 1: We started the podcast and got about a minute in
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: and I got mad and turned it off and said,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: we're restarting this. You need more life.
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: Well he was. I mean, he had me in this
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: room like I was being interrogated. Didn't prop me. I
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: know it's not live, but like you, I'm not. I
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: don't talk into a microphone.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: I know, I know you're right, You're right. I'm sorry.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 1: I didn't like yell at you, but I'm like, okay,
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: we're going to restart the podcast. Well, speaking of dealing with.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 4: Me, So my question for your wife is how does
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 4: she put up with all your crazy quirks or your OCD.
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 4: My husband is sometimes like that and it pushes me
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 4: over the edge. So I'm looking for some kIPS. I
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 4: have a great night. Thank you.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: How do you deal with me.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 2: Trying to think of like you're quirky?
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: Oh CD, you serious?
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 2: Well, besides, I have to tell you, well, like what
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: would you reference like the gym stuff?
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: I would say like my addiction to yes, working out,
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: ice bath and SNA every single night.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: So honestly, this is actually a good one. I I'm
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: people that know me like I'm pretty laid back, Like
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm a basic bitch. I'm pretty laid back. I
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: just roll with the flow. So my life is my
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 2: work and my I'm just I'm just laid back.
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: I guess.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: I just kind of roll with it. Like Justin's schedule
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: kind of like just meshes with my schedule. But well,
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: that's a tough one. I mean, I don't know necessarily
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: have any tips or tricks like how to deal with it.
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: Maybe I just like roll with it.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: Well, you're just used to it too, Yeah, I'm just
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: used to it.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: I guess I I'm the big when you kind of
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: like we're going to the gym all the time, was
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: I was I bitching at that time?
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: Never you never did, And it's you know what it is.
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 2: For me though, So what I look at it is
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 2: like we had Me and Justin had a lot of
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 2: unhealthy habits in the past. So like when he said
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: like that he was going to the gym and like
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 2: he was feeling great and like this was like a
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 2: relief for him, and like he got like a new
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 2: hig like going to the gym and it helped him
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: like mentally. I think I just like took that as
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: like it could always be worse. So maybe like looking
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: at your husband's quirks and like OCD stuff, and I mean,
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 2: if it's like not unhealthy, it could always be worse.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: That's good advice. That's really good advice. Our friend, dear
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: friend Chris reminded me recently. I had forgotten this that
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: you had to plan all of our wedding meetings leading
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: up to our wedding around my gym schedule. Yeah, I
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 1: mean I didn't. I forgot that, he goes, you don't
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: remember that, like you had Jen had to go work
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: around your gym schedule to like go taste the fucking
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: wedding cake.
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: Listen, I still to this day book my meetings and
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: things around your schedule. So I mean, yeah, when you
• 1:04:21
  Speaker 2: when we got married in twenty two, twenty fourteen, you well,
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: that was also the best day of your life that
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: you had such a flexible, laid back wife.
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: Listen. You know how much I love you. You're my queen.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: You are everything to me. I'm so proud of us.
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 1: I'm so proud of you. You know.
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 2: Ooh, I have something on that topic.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: Well hold on, hold that thought. You know when Channel
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: five did that peace on me, you know, it was
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: really I remember like telling the story and in my head,
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: I thought to myself, because I really, really, really really
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: believe this that, you know, it's really cool my story
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: and where I ended up on the radio and this
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: mister fucking dal list celebrity or whatever the hell I
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 1: think I am. But what's really cooler is like going
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 1: through what you went through and going back to going
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: to nursing school with the education that you had and
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: becoming an RN and then working at the detox that
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: you had been in and trying to get clean in
• 1:05:19
  Speaker 1: for like thirty times, like that is much more impactful
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 1: to me. And that's why I said that in the
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: news piece. You know what I mean.
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: So you you say that, But what what you don't
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: realize too, is that you you also inspired me to
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: go back to school and to like put my best
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 2: self forward. You and a few other people like that
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: we were surrounding ourselves with at that time. Like I
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: saw people going back to school and applying themselves and
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 2: like making something of their life. And like you, you
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: did that before me.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: You inspired each other.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: You inspired me to also do that. So when you say, like,
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: my story is more inspiring, like so is your.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 1: Just to I know, just tim personally to me. That's
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: that's all I know. They're both inspiring and that's I'm
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: super grateful for that. Do you remember what you had
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: to say? You had something to add about my quirkiness.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: Do you remember what it was? Sorry I interrupted you,
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: which is a not You're not supposed to do that
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: as the host. You had something to add to my
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: crazy OCD stuff if it comes to you.
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes, yes, it's with the red receipts. So there
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: was a time where I wanted Justin to put his
• 1:06:32
  Speaker 2: location on his phone.
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: We talked about that in the show.
• 1:06:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And I mean, I don't really need his location
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: to be honest, because I know where he is.
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: No, you're a creep, you're a detective.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: But I know where you are. You're at the gym
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 2: or wherever. The reason why I wanted the location is
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: because maybe even not the location. So we settled on
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: the red receipts. So, like Chris said, like, my, I
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 2: had to plan stuff around you. So like if I
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: know and Jessica goes to the gym for like two
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 2: hours at a time, sometimes more right, So if there's
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: something important, like what if I get in a car
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 2: accident right and I'm on the side of the road
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 2: and trying to call you if you're at the gym,
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: Like are you?
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: How do I text him?
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: Call him? Don't? How do I know he even seen
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 2: this message?
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 1: Like what if?
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: What if there's an emergency? So we settled on red receipts.
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 2: So like if he's at work and he's on the air,
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: or he's at the gym and it's something important and
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: I text him. If it's not important, like I don't
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: need a response, but if it's important, I can see
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: that he read it. He might not respond right away,
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: but at least I know that you read it. And
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: you'll respond when you can, right, which.
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 1: Which is fine. We settled on that. I didn't want
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: the location thing, not because it's like I'm not doing anything,
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 1: but it's like if I'm coming home and you say
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: when are you going to be home, and I'm like
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: twenty minutes away. I like to be able to be like, oh,
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: I'm ten minutes away to make you feel a little
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 1: bit better, especially if the kids are up your ass,
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: because you know, the kids are up your ass NonStop. Yeah, yeah,
• 1:07:57
  Speaker 1: that's just the way it is. So one thing before
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 1: we go, I just want to talk about the dishes thing,
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: me doing the dishes now, because I've talked a lot
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: about that on the podcast. You know, that was such
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 1: an important part of our marriage, I think, and a
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: real turning point to our marriage because there was a
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 1: time a few years ago where we weren't doing that great,
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: and mostly that was because of me. Like I remember
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 1: that I had a conversation with Ashley from Jamming because
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: she's a dear friend of mine. She kind of is
• 1:08:29
  Speaker 1: who I go to as a female for advice and stuff,
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 1: and there was a time in our marriage where I
• 1:08:35
  Speaker 1: was all in my head. I was convinced that you
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: didn't want to be with me anymore, that you didn't
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: love me anymore, that you weren't physically attracted to me anymore.
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: And I was really heading down towards this path of like,
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: is this going to be over? Like is this marriage
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: past it's expiration date? And I'll never forget. I had
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: called Ashley to get a female's point of view, and
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: I laid it all out to her and she was like,
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 1: you're a fucking idiot, you know, And she laid into
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: me and like really put things into perspective, and basically
• 1:09:07
  Speaker 1: the long and short of it is that I needed
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: to have a conversation with you about it. So we
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: ended up sitting down and talking about it. It got heated,
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: it was emotional, and basically what you said to me
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: was justin, you know what doesn't are you okay? Okay? Sorry,
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: you have work? Okay? You know you basically said to me,
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 1: you know I love you and I'm attracted to you,
• 1:09:34
  Speaker 1: but you know, at this point in our relationship, we've
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: been together for so long, you know, I don't just yes,
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: I'm attracted to you and I think you're handsome and
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: I want to be with you. You know, physically and
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: emotionally and all that stuff. But I don't just look
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 1: at you and get turned on. You know what turns
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: me on with you is when you are a father
• 1:09:52
  Speaker 1: to our children, when you help out around the house. Yes,
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: when you do things like laundry, no hold on dishes,
• 1:09:57
  Speaker 1: And you're saying this to me, and in my head
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: in this fucking bitch, hold on, hold, let me finish,
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 1: and then give you a response. I know, let me finish.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: In my head, I'm like, is she fucking gaslighting me?
• 1:10:10
  Speaker 1: Like I don't believe that do the dishes and do
• 1:10:13
  Speaker 1: now she wants me to be the housekeeper in order
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 1: to get laid. Basically, I'm just being honest. This is
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: in my head what I was saying, right, And so
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 1: you're telling me this and I got mad and I
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 1: didn't believe it, and I'm like, yeah, okay, sure. And
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 1: we ended that conversation and then I think I talked
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 1: to somebody I forget, and I thought to myself to
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: go back to the opposite club. See full circle. Everything
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: in my life is full circle, right, And I thought
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: to myself, Okay, instead of getting angry, what if I
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: just do the do the opposite of what I'm doing.
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: What if I listened to her and I said, and
• 1:10:45
  Speaker 1: I thought to myself, let me just try it. And
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: so I started to do the laundry, and I made
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: an effort to do the dishes and help out around
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: the house and help with the kids, even when it
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: wasn't like per se my turn, not that we take turns,
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: but to go out of my way to like take
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: some of the strain off of you. And I will
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: just say that you were right that hold on one
• 1:11:10
  Speaker 1: more thing and you can answer. The most valuable lesson
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: that I learned in all of that was that nothing
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: makes a woman hornier than doing the fucking dishes and laundry.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: And I can attest to that.
• 1:11:25
  Speaker 2: I mean, you're one hundred percent right, like nothing, I
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 2: mean being exhausted, taking care of two kids, taking care
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 2: of the household, working, I mean, for sure, shout out
• 1:11:34
  Speaker 2: to I mean not that your husband needs to do
• 1:11:37
  Speaker 2: the dishes of the laundry, but I mean take some
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: of the load and mental exhaustion off of you, for sure.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know I make that comment about like nothing
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: makes a woman horny. That's you know, that's true, But
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: that's not you know, all of it I really learned
• 1:11:55
  Speaker 1: a valuable lesson there, and I and I still to
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: this day, really take that seriously. And it's something that
• 1:11:59
  Speaker 1: I've just now gotten used to doing. And I really
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: saw how much it helped you to not have to
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 1: do these things on top of everything else else you
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: have to do as a mom and as a wife.
• 1:12:11
  Speaker 1: You know, we had that agreement, that joking agreement when
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 1: we got the house, where like you take the outside,
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 1: I take the inside. And I took that a little
• 1:12:18
  Speaker 1: bit too seriously. So I like it. I like making
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: you feel good. You don't have to worry about doing
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 1: the laundry. I fold it. You'll put it in for
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: me sometimes, but I fold it all the time, laundry
• 1:12:26
  Speaker 1: every day. I do the dishes and make sure the
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: sink's clean. I make sure the house get picked up
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: all right.
• 1:12:31
  Speaker 2: What no one's giving you a parade on here. These
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 2: are things like that you should be doing because somebody.
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 1: I'm putting a parade on myself a little bit. Listencause
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: I'm proud of myself. Listen, I am.
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 2: I am very appreciative of all the things that Justin
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 2: does to our household. But that's how it should be.
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 2: We both show up. I agree, we both carry the weight.
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 2: I agree, I agree, we both take care of each
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 2: other in the life. We builce right, you know what
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 2: I mean. It shouldn't be like an eighty.
• 1:12:57
  Speaker 1: Twenty Oh no, no, no, no, I know that. I
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: know that. I just know that marriage. What I've learned
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: is marriage is you.
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 2: Don't necessarily have to do the dishes in the laundry,
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: but I mean do something like you said, you don't
• 1:13:07
  Speaker 2: have to you don't have to take your kids like
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 2: I don't think that dads are like babysitting or like
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 2: their time like those.
• 1:13:14
  Speaker 1: Are your kids, right right? And you know, like marriage,
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: especially long term relationships, marriages, there's peaks and valleys to it.
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: You know, it's not all smooth sailing. And you really
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 1: learn what people mean when they say that marriage takes work,
• 1:13:26
  Speaker 1: don't you agree?
• 1:13:28
  Speaker 2: I think honestly, I think that that was like a
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 2: turning point in our marriage. And I think so too.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 2: And since then, I've I've been I don't tell you
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: as often as I should how much I appreciate you,
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 2: but I also did your laundry for a second, Okay.
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: You don't have to add that in after it was fine,
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: just the first part was fine.
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: Listen, listen. Justin came home yesterday and I was folding laundry.
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: He throws cheap shots too. Oh did you do it
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 2: in the laundry? Do you remember how to full laundry?
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 2: Excuse you, I folded you underwear for a decade. Sorry,
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 2: let's not forget. I still know how to do laundry.
• 1:14:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't even know how to do laundry when
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 1: I started doing it, I had to act.
• 1:14:09
  Speaker 2: He didn't even know how to turn it on.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 1: I didn't know how to use the washing machine.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: But that's what I mean. Like, so God forbid, I mean,
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: anything could happen in this life like today, we live
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: our day like it's our last. Like God forbid anything
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 2: happens to me tomorrow, right Like I don't. I don't
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 2: want to have to worry about if my kids, if
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 2: you could even buckle a car seat, if you even
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 2: know how to cook pasta, turn the washing machine on?
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: How to do that? Hold on? I know how to
• 1:14:34
  Speaker 1: what don't I know how to do with the house?
• 1:14:36
  Speaker 1: I think I knew everything dishwasher because I don't use
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: I am the dishwasher. But we have a dishwasher. But
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 1: I don't use it.
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 2: But like those are the things like that people people
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 2: should think about, Like what if, like you, if I'm
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: here today and gone tomorrow, like you would be I mean,
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: you would figure it out. You're asourceful, You still got naughty,
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 2: you stuck.
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: With got nanny. Yeah, I'm not. We're not getting rid
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 1: of her, which is fine. She's she's amazing.
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: But I appreciate everything that you you for our family.
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and same to you, Same to you. So this
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: has been fun, This hasn't bad. Right, It's just a conversation. Yes,
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: this is what I do for a living. Talk about
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: having your dream job. Right, I just talk shit, I
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: just talk.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 2: Well, this is a little more uncensored.
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: Oh, it definitely is. Yeah, it definitely is. Yeah. I
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 1: try to really push the envelope on it because I
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: don't know who's listening, you know, I want to be
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: trying to keep it as clean as possible.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 2: But if I feel like long too, Oh my god,
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: we went over.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: An hour, the longest one we've ever done.
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 2: You could probably go on for a few more hours.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I hit everything that I wanted to
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: hit on here. I just wanted to kind of give
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: a timeline of our story and let you respond to it,
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: you know, because everyone gets my side. You know, I
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: talk about our story and I talk about your story,
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: but no one can get your response to it. So
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: that's why I wanted to have you on, and I
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: think the listeners in the Army appreciate that. So where
• 1:15:52
  Speaker 1: do you get some lunch? Where do you want to eat?
• 1:15:55
  Speaker 1: What are you feeling? Hey, it's on me.
• 1:16:00
  Speaker 2: I don't know, all right, if it's on you, though,
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 2: I gotta I gotta rethink my decisions.
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: Well we could we could go to Lib's Juice Bar.
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 1: It's lunchtime, kind of get like an s I E.
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 2: Ball type thing early.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: It's eleven twenty. They have avocado toast which I might get.
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: That's owned by Romeo, who used to work a kiss
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 1: one O eight.
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think we went there one time. Let's
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 2: go there.
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah it's good. Yeah, we'll go there. Uh, thank you
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: to the Army for listening. If you're still here after
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: over an hour long podcast, thank you and thank you.
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 2: I love you, love you?
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: Are you upset with me? No that I did I
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 1: say anything I wasn't supposed to say. No, Are we
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: gonna turn the mics off? And you're gonna be like,
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: I can't believe you fucking said that.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: No, everything was cool, Everything's fine, all right, cool. I
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 2: mean you went sideways a couple of times. But my
• 1:16:47
  Speaker 2: story is an open book.
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah, who cares at this point? No one cares at
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: this point, you know what I mean. It's like we
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 1: that's our fucking story, and that's what we're gonna We're
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 1: sticking to it, all right. All right, thank you everybody
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: for listening. Thing. We appreciate it. Tomorrow is Thursday. I
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: will be back with another after show. Also, remember Billy
• 1:17:05
  Speaker 1: Costa is out the rest of the week. Tomorrow, mikey
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: V will be sitting in and Friday, this is an exclusive.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: Nobody else knows this, but the after show Army Ashley
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: Feldman will be sitting in the Billy chair on Friday.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: That should be. That should be a real trip. Especially
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: Jens mentioned her being at our wedding, complete maniac. Ashley Feldman,
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 1: complete maniac.
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 2: She might have tackled a field of my bridesmaids.
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 1: She definitely did, so look forward to that on Friday.
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: All right, Peace