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Have We Optimised The Joy Out Of Our Lives? · Two Broke Chicks

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Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadagal Land Always was, always
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Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land. Hey chicks, I'm out and I'm
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Speaker 1: sal And this is two broad Chicks, the show that
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Speaker 1: shares life lessons and tips to help make you rich
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Speaker 1: in life.
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Speaker 2: And we are two back.
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Speaker 1: We're back, getting back.
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Speaker 3: We're back. You're like, oh no, did you miss us?
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Speaker 1: Yeah? I mean we've been in the ear holes this
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Speaker 1: whole time that recorded in the past.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, no, we're here from the fuel Child.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, back from a couple of weeks away in Europe.
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Speaker 1: We missed you, chicks for sure. I hope you enjoyed
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Speaker 1: us sharing all our tails. Yeah, over on the ground.
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Speaker 3: But how have you been out? I've been good. How's
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Speaker 3: the jet lag?
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Speaker 1: I actually had a good night's late last night because
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Speaker 1: I kicked my boyfriend out of our bed, so that
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Speaker 1: was great. Missed the cats though, yeah, oh you didn't
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Speaker 1: have the kiddies now.
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Speaker 3: I literally was like, wow, I mean it's alone time.
1:00
Speaker 2: Yeah, mummy needs alone time.
1:01
Speaker 1: Was that saying where that Charlotte locks herself at the pantry?
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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, And I was like, got a goal, guys. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: And I literally had the best sleep of my life. Hmm.
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Speaker 3: Well, happy for you. I think that's what you need.
1:11
Speaker 3: You need like a.
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Speaker 1: Fourteen hour sleep to like fully reset seriously and like
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Speaker 1: I just needed to starfish. It was. It was lovely.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Time you should do it again this weekend, but with
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Speaker 1: like no alarm. Yeah, I'm good. I feel like back
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Speaker 1: into kind of back into the routines loving winter. Yeah, God,
1:31
Speaker 1: it's good. I know it's not everybody's cup of tea,
1:34
Speaker 1: but I think it's been really I feel like it's
1:36
Speaker 1: becoming more in more polar.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe people are getting more around it. I like it.
1:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. But today, what are we talking?
1:46
Speaker 3: Today?
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Speaker 1: We are talking how to do a convenience detox and
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Speaker 1: friction maxing.
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Speaker 3: Yeah.
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Speaker 1: Not a huge fan of the maxing term, but alas, alas.
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Speaker 3: It is a trending topic.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll kind of get into the whole maxing trend.
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Speaker 2: A little bit too.
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Speaker 1: We'll talk about it a little bit more. But before
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Speaker 1: we do, what's your obsession of the week. Okay, my
2:12
Speaker 1: obsession of the week is that going to the movies
2:15
Speaker 1: is so back?
2:16
Speaker 3: Oh did it? Well?
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Speaker 1: Apparently it did? But gen Z is the one who
2:23
Speaker 1: were driving the trend. Welcome, How good is that? I
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Speaker 1: love the movies. I've always loved going to the movie
2:30
Speaker 1: me too. I always been big movies girls. Yeah, and
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Speaker 1: I know it's expensive. I know that that's like a
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Speaker 1: lot of people's common grind with it. That's so fair,
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Speaker 1: but it's just it's going to the movies is definitely
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Speaker 1: my favorite date night.
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Speaker 3: Ah, Like it's a classic for a reason.
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Speaker 1: But I'm glad that everybody else is getting back on
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Speaker 1: the train, so to speak. In Australia, the box office
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Speaker 1: has recorded three consecutive one hundred million dollar months for
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Speaker 1: the first time ever. Yeah, with gen Z leading the urgent.
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Speaker 1: So they think that there's a few reasons for this.
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Speaker 1: I guess like lots of good movies coming out which
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Speaker 1: we love to see. But also I guess younger people
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Speaker 1: are maybe looking for more ways to disconnect from their
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Speaker 1: devices and connect with people.
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Speaker 3: But also a lot of people have.
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Speaker 1: Been associating it with the trend of using letterboxed. Yeah,
3:20
Speaker 1: and how like leaving reviews and perhaps becoming more cultured
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Speaker 1: in cinema is now a form of social currency. Yeah,
3:27
Speaker 1: that's actually such a good point because I really do
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Speaker 1: think the whole letterbox thing and like, there's what's the
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Speaker 1: best way to say this, what's the word I'm looking for?
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Speaker 1: Having an opinion is becoming like a lot more prevalent,
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Speaker 1: like sharing your review and sharing your thoughts on things
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Speaker 1: and being within the pop culture conversation is not necessarily
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Speaker 1: as exclusive of a club anymore. So, Like growing up,
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Speaker 1: you would have magazines or you would have newspapers that
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Speaker 1: shared their reviews, whereas now we have like social media.
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Speaker 1: We have TikTok and everyone just jumps on and or
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Speaker 1: we have comment sections like at the very least, and
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Speaker 1: then we have things like letterboxed or whatever. There's things
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Speaker 1: like good Reads and fable for books that to share
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Speaker 1: your opinion on something is so much more encouraged now
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Speaker 1: and present because everything's so online.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's so true. It's like you don't have
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Speaker 3: to be a critic to leaver review.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think people want to engage in like
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Speaker 1: critical thinking and opinion opinion a lot more now.
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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, exactly. Agree.
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Speaker 1: No, I don't like even just being like, oh, if
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Speaker 1: a new product launches, like people will go out to
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Speaker 1: buy it just to like give their two cents on it,
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Speaker 1: which is a good thing I'm not saying is a
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Speaker 1: bad thing.
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Speaker 3: No, I like it.
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Speaker 1: Because it's kind of like democratizing the voices that we
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Speaker 1: hear exactly. We're hearing from more people, but it shouldn't
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Speaker 1: just be you know, influencers or journalists or people within
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Speaker 1: those industry sharing their opinions. I really like it when
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Speaker 1: you know, you see on the plane when I was
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Speaker 1: watching a movie, they had like two ratings for that
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Speaker 1: movies they had like viewers' ratings and critics ratings. Yeah,
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Speaker 1: and I swear my rating is always different to a critic.
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Speaker 3: Oh same, like the shittest movie taste.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. I literally like whenever there's like a critics reviewal yeah,
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Speaker 1: and it's like two stars just on original.
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Speaker 3: Problem and I'm like, well I love that five stars
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Speaker 3: yeah same. Yeah, I'm like cool like palette basically.
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Speaker 1: Yeah. But I think this is a trend that's sort
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Speaker 1: of like been slowly but surely climbing for the last
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Speaker 1: couple of years. Screen Australia also shared that in twenty
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Speaker 1: twenty four, I think it was seventy percent of people
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Speaker 1: aged between fourteen and twenty four so went to the
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Speaker 1: movies to see a movie.
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Speaker 3: Do you reckon?
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Speaker 1: It's like gen Z bringing it back because oh no,
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Speaker 1: Genz's pretty old now. Yeah, like Jen old to me
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Speaker 1: that they can go to the clube.
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Speaker 3: Well, the eldest gen Z is thirty now, so I'm excited.
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Speaker 3: I love the movies.
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Speaker 1: We need to encourage more hobbies that get people out
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Speaker 1: of the house. But also, what I'm really hoping is
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Speaker 1: that it shows Hollywood that people want to see movies
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Speaker 1: and to please, for the love of God, start investing
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Speaker 1: in some new original film ideas.
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Speaker 2: What's your obsession on that course?
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Speaker 1: Okay, my obsession of the week is Little Baby one.
6:25
Speaker 1: But did you know that diet coke has more caffeine
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Speaker 1: in it?
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Speaker 3: Oh? Yeah, I think I have heard that.
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Speaker 2: I had no idea.
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Speaker 1: So regular coke and Coke zero have thirty four I
6:35
Speaker 1: don't know what this form of measurement is. Mg milligrams,
6:38
Speaker 1: let's go with that. It's probably wrong, whereas diet coke
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Speaker 1: has forty six, which I'm like, maybe that's why the
6:45
Speaker 1: diet coke gurlies get.
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Speaker 3: Around at three pm.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm a Coke zero girly through and through. I'll say,
6:53
Speaker 1: how interesting that coke zero was first rolled out to
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Speaker 1: be marketed to men, because yeah, so diet was rolled
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Speaker 1: out and that was marketed to women because unfortunately, yeah,
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Speaker 1: diet culture is associated with women a lot of the time,
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Speaker 1: or especially was back in the day.
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Speaker 3: So Coke brought out coke.
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Speaker 1: Coke zero, Coke zero to appeal to the zero Chad,
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Speaker 1: the guy that we brought up the other day with
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Speaker 1: his draft.
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Speaker 3: It was for him.
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Speaker 1: But guess what the ultimate micro like, the ultimate piece
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Speaker 1: of micro feminism is drinking coke zero.
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Speaker 3: Seriously, the girlies.
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Speaker 1: Fun, little fat, fun little fact for Yeah, let's get
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Speaker 1: into the episode. Okay, friction maxing and over optimizing our lives.
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Speaker 3: So there's been this sort of new trend online called
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Speaker 3: friction maxing.
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Speaker 1: And I did speak about this a couple of episodes ago,
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Speaker 1: how I am sort of over the concept of maxing,
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Speaker 1: Like we've got looks maxing, fiber maxing, imaxing.
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Speaker 3: Nona maxing, what Nona Nona?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, like my Italian nonna.
8:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, like live like a Nona.
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Speaker 1: Which, Okay, look that's what I'm saying. I'm like some
8:05
Speaker 1: of these things, it's not like, it's probably not that
8:08
Speaker 1: serious some of these things, which but some of them
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Speaker 1: are like I think exactly really like weird fucking things
8:15
Speaker 1: coming from this whole term of maxing and some proper
8:20
Speaker 1: gay and duh yeah absolutely will yeah, and kind of
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Speaker 1: like it's the all or nothing mentality around it that
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Speaker 1: I don't really like. However, I have seen friction maxing
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Speaker 1: trending and I do think it's an interesting topic, so
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Speaker 1: that's why I wanted to talk about it.
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Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, And a lot of.
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Speaker 1: The conversation around friction maxing specifically has been inspired by
8:42
Speaker 1: an article that was published in The Cut earlier this year.
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Speaker 3: It was published on like the third of January or something.
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Speaker 1: Wow, they were ahead of the curve. Yeah, which makes
8:49
Speaker 1: sense because it's very like New Year, New Me kind
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Speaker 1: of vibe. But it had a headline that declared, in
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Speaker 1: twenty twenty six, we are friction maxing. So in the article,
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Speaker 1: the author argues that big companies are making us think
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Speaker 1: of life as inconvenient and something that we need to
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Speaker 1: escape from, which I was like, yeah, shit, I can
9:09
Speaker 1: see that. So, to paraphrase what she was saying in
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Speaker 1: this article, reading is boring, thinking is hard, Interacting with
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Speaker 1: strangers is scary, Risking an unexpected reaction from someone isn't
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Speaker 1: worth it. Speaking at all overrated. These are all frictions
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Speaker 1: that we can now eliminate easily, and we do so.
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Speaker 3: I guess that's the thing.
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Speaker 1: Like we are looking around and we're constantly looking for
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Speaker 1: ways to avoid friction, to avoid anything that feels inconvenient
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Speaker 1: or hard or awkward or uncomfortable. And you know, there
9:41
Speaker 1: are definitely ways where this can be a good thing.
9:44
Speaker 1: But I think it's the fact that we've gone so
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Speaker 1: far that if we encounter anything that feels a little
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Speaker 1: bit uncomfortable, we're like, how do.
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Speaker 3: We avoid this?
9:53
Speaker 2: Yeah?
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Speaker 1: Well, even when you and I were kind of talking
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Speaker 1: about this topic earlier this week, we were saying, like
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Speaker 1: even more just like on the term of like maxing
10:02
Speaker 1: and just trying to kind of have everything be the
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Speaker 1: most perfect process that it could possibly be. Having everything
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Speaker 1: be so optimized, so convenient, so like at the best
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Speaker 1: it possibly can be. That's more exhausting than just dealing
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Speaker 1: and having the thing as it is. It's more exhausting
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Speaker 1: trying to ensure that there's no friction in your life
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Speaker 1: and making sure that everything's so optimized that that's more
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Speaker 1: draining to me in my mind than actually just like
10:34
Speaker 1: doing the thing. Yeah, and we'll get into it a
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Speaker 1: little bit later, but it's so interesting how these things
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Speaker 1: that oppose to us as tools of productivity or convenience
10:44
Speaker 1: or comfort actually do us a huge disservice.
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Speaker 3: In the long run.
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Speaker 1: So friction maxing is essentially a rebellion in which people
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Speaker 1: are going out of their way to do regular things
10:55
Speaker 1: in maybe a slightly more time consuming way or in
10:59
Speaker 1: a way that requires more effort. So it's about building
11:04
Speaker 1: up our tolerance for inconvenience in life.
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Speaker 3: Again, I like that because it.
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Speaker 1: Kind of forgoes the modern conveniences that we have and
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Speaker 1: swaps them out for more old school methods that prompt
11:15
Speaker 1: us to use skills that aren't being exercised with the
11:19
Speaker 1: amount of like technological shortcuts we have access to, like
11:23
Speaker 1: things like critical thinking, emotional intelligence, and attention span. Like
11:27
Speaker 1: attention span I was reading I saw online.
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Speaker 2: I have to put it.
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Speaker 1: Actually, I think it was Alexis, who we have on
11:33
Speaker 1: this week, was talking about how attention span is going
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Speaker 1: to become the social currency, and that like being able
11:40
Speaker 1: to focus on something and give attention to something is
11:43
Speaker 1: actually going to be a skill people have to build
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Speaker 1: and hone rather than like, because we're just so distracted
11:51
Speaker 1: and everything's moving at a million miles an hour and
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Speaker 1: some examples of this trend, which again you can take
11:59
Speaker 1: it or leave it, because some people are gonna be like,
12:00
Speaker 1: I'm I going to do that? Which so fair? Is
12:03
Speaker 1: you know, using street science to find your way to
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Speaker 1: a location instead of using Google Maps, cooking a meal
12:09
Speaker 1: from scratch instead of ordering takeout, writing notes by hand
12:12
Speaker 1: instead of typing them out on a computer. I love that.
12:15
Speaker 1: I love like having a little book that I like
12:17
Speaker 1: write little thoughts into, or I have one in my car.
12:20
Speaker 1: So if I'm like listening to a podcast, I have
12:23
Speaker 1: like a little book in my car that I'm like, Oh,
12:24
Speaker 1: I like that. I love a list. Yeah, I love
12:27
Speaker 1: a list, like things are learned this week, things I
12:31
Speaker 1: want to do more, write a list, smart for a list. Yeah,
12:34
Speaker 1: there's something so good about like putting pen to paper.
12:37
Speaker 1: And so many of us worked so hard for our
12:40
Speaker 1: pen licenses, and for what. I took a really long
12:43
Speaker 1: time to get my pen license.
12:45
Speaker 3: When did you get it?
12:45
Speaker 1: I like, I was one of the last kids in
12:47
Speaker 1: my class to get my pen. Really, I know, it
12:49
Speaker 1: was actually a fucking really upsetting. I swear my handwriting
12:54
Speaker 1: was not that messy and I was here was in
12:55
Speaker 1: fucking four b lead pencil for a really long time.
13:00
Speaker 2: These people, like I swear I got.
13:02
Speaker 1: Mine with like the boys, because boys have really bad handwriting,
13:06
Speaker 1: but most of a lot of them do.
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Speaker 3: Did you get a special pen No?
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Speaker 1: Did you? My mom bought me like the pink fluffy
13:13
Speaker 1: Flamingo and I.
13:15
Speaker 3: Never liked those ones.
13:16
Speaker 1: I just wanted the like Share had and clueless like
13:19
Speaker 1: that was always my norse.
13:20
Speaker 3: I don't like those big off I just want the
13:23
Speaker 3: fluffy ball like that's the I like the classic.
13:26
Speaker 2: I loved those Flamingo.
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Speaker 1: Okay, so again kind of like what you said, This
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Speaker 1: trend has come about with the rise of big tech
13:33
Speaker 1: and AI, both of which are constantly manufacturing ways for
13:37
Speaker 1: small menial tasks to be outsourced to a program or
13:40
Speaker 1: external force that's not our own. I also think, you know,
13:44
Speaker 1: with these things, we've actually we're limiting our abilities, even
13:47
Speaker 1: just in emotional intelligence, Like people are having arguments, you know,
13:53
Speaker 1: or discussions with people and using AI to like write
13:57
Speaker 1: responses to them rather than just being able to be like, yeah,
14:01
Speaker 1: here you I'm sorry like it. I just think that
14:04
Speaker 1: the real issue with that is that AI is designed
14:08
Speaker 1: to like kind of tell you what you want to
14:10
Speaker 1: hear to keep you going back to using the tool.
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Speaker 3: So I just don't think that that's a.
14:15
Speaker 2: Good Yeah, no, don't do that.
14:18
Speaker 1: But it's removing the small challenges in your life. And
14:21
Speaker 1: I totally get it, Like some things that are definitely
14:24
Speaker 1: more productive and hacks, like we love a hack, oh
14:26
Speaker 1: you know, like I love something that's going to save
14:28
Speaker 1: me time. I love something that you know, makes my
14:31
Speaker 1: life easier. But it's more the point that maybe there
14:35
Speaker 1: are things in your life that aren't supposed to be easy,
14:39
Speaker 1: and if everything just becomes like automated.
14:43
Speaker 2: Then where are you within that?
14:45
Speaker 1: Where is your identity?
14:46
Speaker 2: Where is your passion?
14:48
Speaker 1: Where is you know, the life lessons that you learn
14:52
Speaker 1: from something fucking up and being inconvenient.
14:55
Speaker 2: Or having friction?
14:56
Speaker 1: Like where do you grow when you never have the problem?
15:01
Speaker 2: How do you like?
15:02
Speaker 1: How do you learn anything when you never ever make
15:06
Speaker 1: a mistake? Yeah, when everything's productive, nothing is. Yeah. I
15:10
Speaker 1: definitely think that that's an interesting point. But also over
15:13
Speaker 1: optimizing can actually be a distraction. So like you open
15:18
Speaker 1: your delivery app, for example, and you can order basically
15:22
Speaker 1: anything that you want, but and it seems like, oh
15:26
Speaker 1: I great, I've got so many choices, I can pick
15:28
Speaker 1: here or there, but then you actually spend more time
15:31
Speaker 1: like scrolling through being.
15:32
Speaker 3: Like oh fuck, like what could I pick? Do I
15:35
Speaker 3: pick this? Do I pick that?
15:36
Speaker 1: And it's because of like the paradox of choice, and
15:40
Speaker 1: it's that concept that having too many options is actually
15:45
Speaker 1: a cause of choice paralysis and decision fatigue and just
15:49
Speaker 1: dissatisfaction across the boor Yeah, there was a study that
15:53
Speaker 1: was done that had two different groups and one group
15:56
Speaker 1: was given like three choices and one the other group
16:00
Speaker 1: was given the same three choices, but the first group
16:03
Speaker 1: was allowed to They were told to make a choice,
16:06
Speaker 1: but they could come back the next day and change
16:09
Speaker 1: their choice if they wanted to. And then group two
16:12
Speaker 1: could only choose once. They had to choose only one time.
16:15
Speaker 1: They couldn't change their choice again, no vaccie snowback sees
16:19
Speaker 1: and then anyway, So group one came back and a
16:22
Speaker 1: lot of people ended up changing their decision.
16:25
Speaker 2: They then recorded group one and group.
16:28
Speaker 1: Two's satisfaction with their decision, but group two actually came
16:32
Speaker 1: out more satisfied because they didn't have as much choice.
16:35
Speaker 1: So like, obviously, if you want to deep it, being
16:38
Speaker 1: like choices are probligion being able to choose what you
16:40
Speaker 1: want being bang bong, but it kind of supports what
16:43
Speaker 1: you're saying that. Like, let's say we walk into a supermarket.
16:45
Speaker 1: You're standing in front of all the chucky and you're like, oh,
16:48
Speaker 1: I want an aer bar, but then you see, oh, no,
16:51
Speaker 1: Marvelous Creations has just brought out Sparkle Farts and Unicorn Pierson.
16:56
Speaker 3: I can't wait for that launch.
17:00
Speaker 2: And you're like, oh do I want that?
17:02
Speaker 3: Yeah?
17:03
Speaker 1: And so then you get that because you're like, oh maybe,
17:06
Speaker 1: and you end up going home, you eat your unicorn
17:09
Speaker 1: piss and you're like, should have got the arrow? Yeah,
17:13
Speaker 1: should have trusted my gut, should have trusted my first choice.
17:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, so true New Collabs. I actually really like Marvelous Creations.
17:22
Speaker 2: I don't want it no chans or on mc no.
17:25
Speaker 3: And honestly, the Crunchy one I was really grateful for that.
17:28
Speaker 2: Also, the Clinker one. I don't think they do it
17:31
Speaker 2: anymore though.
17:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, they had like a Marvelous Creations with Clinkers
17:35
Speaker 1: in it.
17:35
Speaker 3: I don't know if I tried that one.
17:36
Speaker 1: It was really good, probably really good.
17:39
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I'm making that up. Was that a fever?
17:41
Speaker 3: Dream no it existed, We'll look it up. We'll find
17:44
Speaker 3: out if not it should. But yeah, very interesting.
17:49
Speaker 1: But also over optimizing can also just like reduce our
17:52
Speaker 1: connection to others, which you kind of were talking about before,
17:56
Speaker 1: like with people using AI tools for therapy essentially, But
17:59
Speaker 1: even if you think about how like we do our
18:02
Speaker 1: grocery shopping online a lot of the time, like that
18:05
Speaker 1: can actually reduce your chances of.
18:08
Speaker 3: Like bumping into somebody you know, or like meeting someone.
18:10
Speaker 1: You and the love of your life if you can't
18:13
Speaker 1: bump the apples in a grocery store literally. Yeah, and
18:17
Speaker 1: because like again, like I love to order my groceries onlines,
18:22
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. But I'm like, fuck, what amazing
18:24
Speaker 1: experiences have I maybe missed out on by over optimizing
18:28
Speaker 1: so many of the things that I do.
18:30
Speaker 3: And that's just one example.
18:31
Speaker 1: It can also potentially reduce our ability to adapt to
18:35
Speaker 1: things like I don't know how to read a fucking map,
18:38
Speaker 1: and I don't think I was ever taught how to.
18:41
Speaker 1: Like I understood you never sat in the front seat
18:43
Speaker 1: with your mum while she gave you the big giant
18:45
Speaker 1: fuck off yellow book and said, now you look at
18:48
Speaker 1: where the street is. Yeah, they would always have like
18:50
Speaker 1: the map and the like the what was they even
18:53
Speaker 1: called it the street directory street the street Like that
18:56
Speaker 1: is crazy. And I'm like, our parents literally just taught themselves,
19:00
Speaker 1: like and then and you memorize it and just do it.
19:04
Speaker 1: So I'm like, it's not that we don't have the
19:05
Speaker 1: ability to do it, like the generation above us, we're
19:08
Speaker 1: doing it just fine. But if I was asked to
19:10
Speaker 1: do that, I would be like, and we're driving straight
19:12
Speaker 1: into the ocean, Like I don't know where to go,
19:15
Speaker 1: Like we can barely read a map when it is
19:17
Speaker 1: on Google Maps even yeah.
19:19
Speaker 3: I get lots of Google Maps there with the phone.
19:21
Speaker 3: She's like, and I got to walk a little bit for.
19:26
Speaker 1: Five minutes, when five minutes has a bit extra five seconds,
19:30
Speaker 1: I should be like, no, no, wrong way, Yeah, like
19:32
Speaker 1: I need the little compass to it at So, yeah,
19:35
Speaker 1: that's definitely one way I've been losing out. So let's
19:45
Speaker 1: talk about the convenience detox and why we need one.
19:50
Speaker 1: And as we've mentioned, it's not to say that all
19:54
Speaker 1: convenience is bad or that all modern convenience is bad,
19:58
Speaker 1: but when we start to feel the decline in like
20:00
Speaker 1: basic life skills like critical thinking, intelligence, especially patience and mindfulness.
20:07
Speaker 1: It's time to switch things up. I definitely think we're
20:10
Speaker 1: becoming a less and less patient society, like our patients
20:16
Speaker 1: just for people who have different opinions to us is
20:22
Speaker 1: dwindling so much, Like I think there's a lot of
20:25
Speaker 1: really interesting conversation online around like moral hierarchy and finger pointing.
20:31
Speaker 1: Kiki Palma, our best friend, she can do not wrong. Yeah,
20:34
Speaker 1: she made this video recently and it was like, before
20:37
Speaker 1: you point the finger, make sure you have no fingers
20:39
Speaker 1: pointing back at you. And like, I thought that was
20:42
Speaker 1: a very interesting tape because I do think we live
20:47
Speaker 1: in such interesting bubbles now that like our bubble is
20:52
Speaker 1: a little bit more online and focused on our own
20:57
Speaker 1: kind of shit rather than.
20:59
Speaker 2: Focusing on the external.
21:00
Speaker 1: Circles that we have in our life as well.
21:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, echo chambers.
21:04
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly the word I'm looking for. Yeah, Yeah,
21:08
Speaker 1: definitely an interesting, interesting time. But this is where the
21:12
Speaker 1: convenience deetoks comes in. It's kind of like a mindset
21:16
Speaker 1: shift that allows you to harness this idea of adding
21:19
Speaker 1: friction back into our liies and using it to enforce
21:23
Speaker 1: habits that can help build up some of those crucial
21:26
Speaker 1: life skills again. And I don't think it's about like
21:30
Speaker 1: going out of your way to make it hard or
21:34
Speaker 1: go back to that one person that pissed you off
21:36
Speaker 1: like two weeks ago and you're like, you know.
21:37
Speaker 3: What, Yeah, I need some friction. Yeah exactly.
21:41
Speaker 1: Yeah. It doesn't have to mean like you don't have
21:43
Speaker 1: to start a fight with your boyfriend tonight. No, I'm kiding,
21:47
Speaker 1: I'm joking, joking, but yeah, I guess it's just about
21:52
Speaker 1: getting off autopilot a little bit.
21:55
Speaker 3: Let's take a step back.
21:57
Speaker 1: So some signs you need a convenience detoks is you
21:59
Speaker 1: feel like you're living on autopilot, haven't spoken to another
22:02
Speaker 1: person in days, feel less patient, or have a shorter
22:05
Speaker 1: and shorter attention span. These could indicate that detox is
22:10
Speaker 1: for you. So the convenience detox is going to help
22:14
Speaker 1: improve your body's internal attention systems. So when the brain
22:19
Speaker 1: is focused on the outside world and what your five
22:21
Speaker 1: sensors pick up, the brain's frontoparietal attention network is activated.
22:27
Speaker 1: Experts say that constant activation of this network by digital
22:30
Speaker 1: means like twenty four to seven news, NonStop notifications and
22:34
Speaker 1: doom scrolling can hijack this system and cause cognitive overload.
22:38
Speaker 1: So basically you're overloading your brain.
22:41
Speaker 3: Brain burnout, brain burnout.
22:44
Speaker 1: So a convenience detox is going to assist with an
22:47
Speaker 1: addiction to instant gratification or instant dopamine hits like notifications
22:53
Speaker 1: on your phone, which is worsened by technology and social media.
22:57
Speaker 1: So this rise of instant gratification is also causing empathy
23:02
Speaker 1: erosion in society, where we don't have the same capacity
23:05
Speaker 1: to care for others as we used to, or kind
23:07
Speaker 1: of like what I was saying before is we don't
23:10
Speaker 1: have the empathy to understand that people have a different
23:13
Speaker 1: opinion to us, that people have a different take.
23:16
Speaker 2: You can even see it.
23:17
Speaker 1: Just when you know, someone says, oh I like this
23:20
Speaker 1: product but someone doesn't, or if someone wants to you know,
23:24
Speaker 1: is like this is my favorite pasta and they go, oh,
23:28
Speaker 1: I hate truffles, and it's like.
23:30
Speaker 3: That's donate it then.
23:32
Speaker 1: And it's this ability for us to share space universally.
23:38
Speaker 1: I think that as a society, in some ways we've
23:40
Speaker 1: become a lot more tolerant, but then in other ways
23:43
Speaker 1: we are way less tolerant and way less patient, especially
23:49
Speaker 1: in like these sorts of examples, and Larry Rosen, a
23:53
Speaker 1: research psychologist and professor at California State University, suggests that
23:57
Speaker 1: there is a big upside to convenience that is strategically
24:02
Speaker 1: added back into our lives and reducing our need for
24:05
Speaker 1: technology to like take back control of ourselves a little bit.
24:10
Speaker 1: And another thing that a convenience detox will do for
24:13
Speaker 1: you is force you out of like conflict avoidant behavior
24:18
Speaker 1: and also comfort seeking behavior and that self soothing that
24:21
Speaker 1: a lot of these things, it's like, oh, this is hard,
24:24
Speaker 1: this is uncomfortable, Like I'll just do this thinking yeah, literally,
24:27
Speaker 1: like I don't know why. It sounded like a part.
24:29
Speaker 1: I think I think that's probably pretty accurate because constantly
24:34
Speaker 1: relying on modern comforts can actually shape us to be
24:38
Speaker 1: more of like people pleasers, because we forget the harsh
24:42
Speaker 1: realities of negotiation and maybe like challenging ourselves or like
24:46
Speaker 1: asking the question why or like how could I do
24:50
Speaker 1: it better myself rather than maybe relying on something else.
24:54
Speaker 1: And our brains need that stimulation to maintain its structural
24:59
Speaker 1: integri and to improve the cognitive processing like you were
25:03
Speaker 1: saying before, which also is related to like age decline
25:07
Speaker 1: as we get older.
25:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like.
25:10
Speaker 1: We need to like get a bit more comfortable with
25:12
Speaker 1: just not understanding something like and sitting with that feeling.
25:16
Speaker 1: Like even if it's you know, someone saying, oh, do
25:20
Speaker 1: you know how to do this and saying no, yeah,
25:23
Speaker 1: I've like no, I don't know how to do that,
25:25
Speaker 1: or if you don't understand why someone behaved a certain way,
25:29
Speaker 1: like you might never know that, like and knowing that
25:32
Speaker 1: sometimes you're not going to be able to google the
25:34
Speaker 1: answer for something. Yeah, Like it's I'm not saying because
25:37
Speaker 1: I also love understanding and knowing why things happen and
25:40
Speaker 1: all of that stuff, but maybe we need to regain
25:44
Speaker 1: a bit of comfort with not understanding exactly why things
25:48
Speaker 1: happen the way they do.
25:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.
25:51
Speaker 1: And I think this might not be like completely surprising
25:55
Speaker 1: to a lot of people, but I do think that
25:57
Speaker 1: it's an important reminder that convenience isn't always amazing for
26:01
Speaker 1: our brains. I saw a twenty twenty five study of
26:04
Speaker 1: a researcher who found that ai I was linked to
26:07
Speaker 1: a reduction in critical thinking skills. I think that is
26:10
Speaker 1: a big conversation that a lot of people are having
26:12
Speaker 1: right now, cognitive offloading, which is essentially like using tools
26:16
Speaker 1: like that to reduce any of that work, can have
26:20
Speaker 1: significant impacts on your memory and might impair the ability
26:23
Speaker 1: to engage in deep reflection.
26:26
Speaker 3: In the long term.
26:27
Speaker 1: And you can argue that easy feels great most days,
26:31
Speaker 1: but experts have said that living a frictionless life may
26:35
Speaker 1: not be the best over time. So I saw this
26:38
Speaker 1: quote from Leela Landowski, who we had on the podcast
26:42
Speaker 1: earlier this year, and she said, it's basically having a
26:45
Speaker 1: personal trainer lift the weights for you. Wow. Yeah, that
26:49
Speaker 1: really hooked into my brain. I also think we can
26:52
Speaker 1: get into the cost of convenience. So convenience is like
26:57
Speaker 1: designed by brands in order to encourage spending, and the
27:04
Speaker 1: lack of friction in order to spend money and buy
27:06
Speaker 1: things is not just like a coincidence, and it's basically
27:13
Speaker 1: reducing like the pain of paying. Like, yes, it's so
27:17
Speaker 1: easy and convenient to not have to get up out
27:19
Speaker 1: of bed, grab your card and put in your credit
27:22
Speaker 1: card details into a website. But the reason why that
27:26
Speaker 1: is good friction to have in your life is because
27:30
Speaker 1: a lot of the time, if you don't actually want
27:32
Speaker 1: it that much, you won't get out of bed to
27:34
Speaker 1: get your credit card, Whereas when you can just use
27:36
Speaker 1: Apple pay or it's saved, your credit card details are saved,
27:40
Speaker 1: then it's like cool, I can just buy whatever I want.
27:43
Speaker 1: Makes that impulse shopping so much easier to fall into.
27:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do think.
27:47
Speaker 1: Sometimes convenience creates the illusion that you're not spending as
27:51
Speaker 1: much as you are. Yeah, And like, don't get me wrong,
27:55
Speaker 1: I love the convenience tax, Like I love like it's
27:59
Speaker 1: a weay, it's a tax that we pay too much.
28:03
Speaker 1: But if you're kind of sitting there, like sometimes you
28:07
Speaker 1: actually have to sit there and like take a step
28:09
Speaker 1: back and realize how much convenience is potentially draining your
28:13
Speaker 1: bank account, whether it's you know, multiple subscriptions, whether it's
28:16
Speaker 1: ordering takeaway via an app however that works getting ubers everywhere,
28:21
Speaker 1: Like it can end up costing a lot of money
28:24
Speaker 1: to live a one convenient life. Yeah. Yeah, So that
28:35
Speaker 1: moves us into part three of how to do a
28:38
Speaker 1: convenience detox. So number one is to design your own
28:43
Speaker 1: five minute friction audit. So pick one temptation, maybe it's
28:47
Speaker 1: doom scrolling or ordering food online, name the room in
28:51
Speaker 1: your house or location where it happens most and then
28:54
Speaker 1: add a speed bump that you can undo in ten seconds.
28:58
Speaker 1: So if the speed bump needs to happen in your bedroom,
29:01
Speaker 1: you can designate a phone parking spot where your phone
29:05
Speaker 1: stays when you put it on charge at the end
29:07
Speaker 1: of the day, somewhere that you can't reach sitting down,
29:10
Speaker 1: so put it on like your chest of drawers and
29:12
Speaker 1: like on the other side of the room. Or if
29:14
Speaker 1: the speed bump is happening on your internet browser, you
29:17
Speaker 1: can take out the one click by feature and removed
29:20
Speaker 1: saved cards from your browser, so again you got to
29:23
Speaker 1: get up, you go to get that card, and then
29:26
Speaker 1: no matter where the problem area is, the key is
29:29
Speaker 1: to make good easier than lazy, So place items that
29:34
Speaker 1: are good for you in plain sight and keep mindless
29:37
Speaker 1: temptations out of reach. I like that.
29:42
Speaker 3: The next one is do things are not good at
29:45
Speaker 3: which I know that I.
29:46
Speaker 1: Definitely try to avoid because it's uncomfortable, Like how shit
29:51
Speaker 1: is it when you start doing something and you're like, like,
29:54
Speaker 1: I just want to be good at it already, Like
29:57
Speaker 1: but also like that is really really character building because
30:00
Speaker 1: you have to sit in that discomfort. But also practice
30:03
Speaker 1: makes perfect So for example, if you're really good at
30:07
Speaker 1: sudoku because you're great with numbers, maybe it's time to
30:11
Speaker 1: swap it out and do like a crossword puzzle or
30:13
Speaker 1: something with words instead if that's not your strong suit.
30:17
Speaker 3: Because yes, it's really.
30:18
Speaker 1: Fun and great to foster hobbies and habits that align
30:23
Speaker 1: with things that you're already good at. But also it's
30:25
Speaker 1: really important to challenge yourself and do things that maybe
30:29
Speaker 1: you're not so good at.
30:30
Speaker 2: Or just like haven't done as much.
30:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly, Like you don't have to be good
30:37
Speaker 1: at everything. Also, the goal doesn't even have to be
30:39
Speaker 1: to become good at it. I think it's just putting
30:41
Speaker 1: yourself in situations where you can feel a bit of discomfort.
30:45
Speaker 1: But also it's a pretty low risk zone. Like if
30:48
Speaker 1: you're shit at sudoku, it's not going.
30:50
Speaker 3: To be the end of the world.
30:50
Speaker 2: You don't have to share.
30:52
Speaker 3: But do you know what I mean, Like, you don't
30:54
Speaker 3: have to share it.
30:55
Speaker 1: I think I could do, like they could give me
30:59
Speaker 1: like a Sudoku twelve year olds and I would feel
31:01
Speaker 1: like meets me. And then lastly is don't look up
31:05
Speaker 1: the answer immediately.
31:07
Speaker 2: So as we were saying, when trying to remember.
31:10
Speaker 1: Something, don't jump onto Google or an AI tool to
31:14
Speaker 1: search for the answer straight away. Like find comfort in
31:17
Speaker 1: not knowing everything as it is or immediately because like and.
31:23
Speaker 2: Find different ways to learn things.
31:26
Speaker 1: Like when we were away, going and doing a walking
31:29
Speaker 1: tour about vampires.
31:32
Speaker 3: Was so fun.
31:33
Speaker 1: Like we were in where were we was a pragabuda pis,
31:36
Speaker 1: I don't know when, and we went and did like
31:39
Speaker 1: a walking tour about vampires in the city and it
31:42
Speaker 1: was so fun and I feel like I learned so
31:44
Speaker 1: much that Yeah, like when am I ever going to
31:47
Speaker 1: really use that in life? But it's just fun to
31:51
Speaker 1: learn things in real time rather than through a screen. Yeah, exactly,
31:55
Speaker 1: so for example as well. Another one that's probably a
31:58
Speaker 1: little bit more relatable than vampires is that like if
32:02
Speaker 1: you're in the supermarket buying groceries for dinner and can't
32:04
Speaker 1: remember what you need, like pausing and actually trying to
32:07
Speaker 1: think of it rather than pulling up your phone, or
32:10
Speaker 1: like little brain tests to give yourself to try and
32:14
Speaker 1: work that muscle a little bit more, like walk yourself
32:18
Speaker 1: through the steps of how you made it last time.
32:19
Speaker 1: Have you seen those videos of chicks trying to remember
32:23
Speaker 1: what to pack for their makeup on holidays and so
32:25
Speaker 1: they like pretend to do their makeup routine to remember
32:28
Speaker 1: what they need to do. I'm like, yeah, love that
32:30
Speaker 1: give you a memory, Like, give your brain a chance
32:32
Speaker 1: to jog itself. Yeah, you know, it's like I'm good
32:34
Speaker 1: doing it.
32:34
Speaker 2: Oh, it's done, okay.
32:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, and then it's like it's just gonna become lazy
32:38
Speaker 1: if you give your brain the answer every time, when
32:39
Speaker 1: does it have to work for it? You know, So
32:42
Speaker 1: embrace the feeling of needing to take time to remember
32:45
Speaker 1: something instead of looking it up and immediately getting the
32:48
Speaker 1: response from anywhere but your own brain. I think we
32:51
Speaker 1: forget how much we actually know and can use it. Yeah.
32:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, our brain is a smart, smart cookie.
32:59
Speaker 1: Yeah.
33:00
Speaker 2: Have you had a chance Have you seen that movie?
33:02
Speaker 3: What's that stats?
33:02
Speaker 1: We only use like ten or fifteen percent of our
33:04
Speaker 1: own brain. That's crazy, I know.
33:06
Speaker 2: I'm like, girl, come on, we god get in there.
33:09
Speaker 1: Well, it's like if we only use ten to fifteen percent, nowadays,
33:12
Speaker 1: I'm probably using.
33:12
Speaker 3: Like two Yeah exactly. Google's on the rest.
33:15
Speaker 1: Yeah. Literally, she's on a baker.
33:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's like a.
33:20
Speaker 1: Fucking peanut colado and she's like she's got it. She's
33:23
Speaker 1: all right, Yeah, there's this movie with like Bradley Cooper
33:27
Speaker 1: I think it is, and he like takes a pill
33:29
Speaker 1: and you can unlock Like oh yeah, no, but I
33:32
Speaker 1: remember if you could take a pill to unlock one
33:37
Speaker 1: hundred percent of capacity of your brain, would you do it? No?
33:42
Speaker 1: I've also I've also read studies of yeah, like sometimes
33:46
Speaker 1: if you're more intelligent, it's aligned to like more mental
33:49
Speaker 1: health issues.
33:50
Speaker 3: So you know, like you.
33:51
Speaker 1: That's it, I'm really smart.
33:55
Speaker 3: Coming together a rich tapestry. So what do you think?
33:59
Speaker 3: What are some ways you're gonna maybe try and do
34:01
Speaker 3: a bit of a convenience.
34:02
Speaker 1: Detos After this episode, I think definitely not looking things
34:05
Speaker 1: up as soon as I need to or relying on
34:09
Speaker 1: it that way, And I definitely have started introducing more things,
34:13
Speaker 1: maybe even doing like a couple of grocery shoppings in person.
34:17
Speaker 1: I do, I do have a fear of the supermarket,
34:20
Speaker 1: but maybe we'll give that.
34:21
Speaker 2: A red hot crack. What about you?
34:23
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that's a good one. I think writing
34:25
Speaker 1: things down, like I've definitely been trying to do that.
34:27
Speaker 1: Recommend the list, yeah, love a good list, Love a
34:29
Speaker 1: good list. Yeah, So definitely that but also like just
34:34
Speaker 1: walking more faces. Oh my god, yeah, yeah, do you
34:37
Speaker 1: know what I realized, Like I hate to be that
34:39
Speaker 1: person that's come back from a holiday and like they
34:41
Speaker 1: don't shut up about all.
34:42
Speaker 2: The things that they learn on the holiday and lay too.
34:43
Speaker 1: You know, and I learned and yeah yeah, but it's
34:46
Speaker 1: like how much friction there is when you're on a holiday.
34:49
Speaker 2: So like being like, oh, I've got to.
34:50
Speaker 1: Get the train here, yeah, and I got to get
34:52
Speaker 1: there three hours beforehand, and I got to carry my
34:54
Speaker 1: fucking three kilo three kilo I wish thirty kilo suitcase.
34:58
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah. They want to got home. I would like.
35:02
Speaker 1: I was thinking about how like if I've got to
35:04
Speaker 1: carry something heavy into the office and I've got to
35:06
Speaker 1: bring a box downstairs to the cart, then put it
35:09
Speaker 1: in the cat, then go drive the guy away, then
35:11
Speaker 1: get a k the box and put that flee in
35:12
Speaker 1: a box and I'll box. And I was like, before
35:17
Speaker 1: we wear like I would just it would just sit
35:19
Speaker 1: at the door because I was like, Oh, can't be
35:20
Speaker 1: fuck to carry it. But then you go on a
35:22
Speaker 1: holiday and you'd like carry your a million kilos suitcase
35:26
Speaker 1: everywhere you come home and you realize how much convenience
35:30
Speaker 1: you allow yourself at home versus when you're away, and
35:34
Speaker 1: that it's actually not that big a deal to just
35:36
Speaker 1: carry the fucking box. Yeah yeah, that pheen a box.
35:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like that.
35:43
Speaker 1: I wanted to wrap up the episode with a final
35:45
Speaker 1: quote that I read in that article from the cart,
35:49
Speaker 1: which I feel like is a nice little cherry on top.
35:51
Speaker 3: And reminder to leave us with.
35:53
Speaker 1: People tend to think of friction as negative, but you
35:56
Speaker 1: can also view it as intention. Friction can be positive
35:59
Speaker 1: if it causes you to take a step back and
36:01
Speaker 1: think about how you want to spend your life.
36:05
Speaker 2: What a nice note.
36:06
Speaker 1: So let us know how you're going to be doing
36:08
Speaker 1: a convenience detox or friction maxing if you will in
36:11
Speaker 1: the comments. I want all the ideas and examples Chicky's
36:15
Speaker 1: and as always, thanks to your chicks for having us
36:18
Speaker 1: in your ear holes.
36:18
Speaker 3: We love to be here.
36:20
Speaker 2: Bye bye