Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / mental health red flags

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mental health red flags · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

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  Mental health recovery is a difficult path to walk, not only
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  because that journey looks different for everybody and it
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  presents a multitude of mental challenges, but also because it
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  is a deceiving journey. We engage in things that we
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  think are helping us. We engage in coping mechanisms
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  that we believe are making us better, but actually they are
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  bringing us the opposite direction of recovery.
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  Sometimes we think we are doing things to improve because they
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  feel good, but it's only making things worse.
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  My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to feel your
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  feelings. If you've ever tried to get
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  better, if you've ever tried to walk away from the life of
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  glorifying mental illness and living inside of your own mental
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  difficulties every single day, you know it is so, so, so, so,
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  so difficult. It is not an easy journey.
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  It takes active effort. It takes months and sometimes
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  years of trying and failing over and over and over.
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  And I can personally attest to this.
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  Over the last five or so years of really trying to improve my
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  mental health, I have found myself striving to get better
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  and consistently falling back into red flags and traps that
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  are mental health places for us. So today we need to look at
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  these certain red flags in mental health that you need to
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  avoid. They often disguise themselves
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  as healthy or that they're improving your mental health,
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  but in reality they're just distractions.
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  Remember, I'm not a doctor. I'm not a psychiatrist or
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  professional in the mental health industry whatsoever.
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  I'm just a normal guy who has felt some big feelings.
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  But in that journey, I've determined a few of these red
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  flags to avoid. These traps are so easy to fall
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  into, and if you're serious about mental health recovery,
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  you need to be aware of how they affect you and your journey.
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  So let's talk about it Red Flag #1 Avoiding friends, family, or
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  social situations under the guise of needing alone time or
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  focusing on yourself? Don't get me wrong, it is
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  important to prioritize yourself.
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  You do need to take time for yourself.
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  Allow yourself to rest, spend time by yourself as you get to
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  know your feelings, triggers and learn the insurance and outs of
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  your mental health. That is super important.
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  I preach all the time about how you need to spend time with
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  yourself. You should, you know, practice
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  some kind of meditation, which just means being alone, allowing
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  your thoughts to wander, breathing, etcetera, etcetera.
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  So I sound like a total hypocrite saying this, but this
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  alone time cannot become a crutch.
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  Time for ourselves can easily become isolation, and isolation
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  becomes a dark path of worse mental health.
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  It festers and feeds depression, anxiety, and other mental
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  illnesses. There's a fine line to walk
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  between these two, and it's difficult to make the
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  distinction. To help figure out if you
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  actually need alone time or if you're trying to isolate, I'd
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  recommend doing an active physical and mental check in.
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  Ask yourself, do I need physical rest?
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  Maybe you've had a really long shift at work.
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  Maybe you play a sport and need to rest.
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  Then ask Do I need mental rest? Do I need some time to process a
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  feeling? Do I need to step away?
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  Ask yourself if the person you're going to see requires
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  mental energy. I have friends that I can see
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  when I'm feeling mentally or emotionally drained purely
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  because they don't require much mental energy.
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  But other people require much more, and I know I should spend
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  time alone if I'm having a hard day.
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  It's important to know those around you and know yourself in
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  order to make these distinctions.
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  Rest is important, but isolation will impede your mental health
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  recovery. So instead of making a rash in
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  the moment decision and just canceling all of your plans all
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  the time, stop and really evaluate how you're feeling.
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  If you're just feeling a little down that day, maybe push
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  yourself outside of that comfort zone.
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  You shouldn't do this all the time, but there needs to be
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  balance. Isolation destroys your mental
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  health. It's crucial to spend time with
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  other people. This is how we grow.
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  Sharing experiences, talking about the things we're going
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  through. This is how we improve our
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  mental health. Humans are naturally social
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  creatures. Yes, even if you're introverted,
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  it's important to spend time around other people and that may
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  look different for you. Maybe it's just sitting in a
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  room silently. I don't mean you have to go out
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  and have crazy experiences or have super engaging
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  conversations. Find people who you can simply
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  exist with. Find people you can spend time
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  with, even on bad days. So please do check insurance
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  with yourself and try to determine if you actually need
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  to be alone, or if you're used to using isolation as a coping
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  mechanism. Red flag #2.
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  Now this one's going to be controversial and I'm sorry if
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  you don't like what I'm about to say.
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  I'm going to sound like a nagging parent or a doctor, but
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  please hear me out. Another red flag to avoid in
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  mental health recovery is using drugs or alcohol to cope.
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  Don't get me wrong, I'm not perfect and I absolutely find
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  myself going out to drink or using light recreational drugs
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  to cope. It's tempting and it's easily
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  accessible and to be completely honest, it sometimes feels
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  necessary. Mental illness sucks and drugs
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  and alcohol are an easy, temporary way out of it.
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  But that's the thing. It's temporary, and prolonged
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  use of this coping mechanism will lead to significantly worse
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  mental health. I guarantee it.
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  I know I'm not a professional. I know I haven't studied this,
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  but I've experienced this. As someone who has personally
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  used light recreational drugs to cope, I know that it made things
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  worse. Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't
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  going using some crazy hard St. drug.
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  When I was going through a bad fight with depression, I found
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  myself smoking weed or taking edibles pretty often.
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  Several times a day, basically whenever I had a free moment
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  that allowed my mind to wander. And at first it helped, the
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  dissociative effects got me out of my head.
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  I was able to do things, see people engage in activities.
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  However, I quickly became reliant on it.
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  I needed it in order to function, and I realized I
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  wasn't healing like I thought I was.
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  Not even close. I was becoming a shell that
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  relied on a substance to function.
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  I'm not preaching that you should quit every drug or never
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  drink again. I mean, let's be honest with
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  ourselves. We're human and it's very
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  ingrained into our culture to do these things.
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  But if you use substances in order to avoid a feeling, that's
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  where your problem is. I know it sounds boring and it
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  sounds too adulty or too stereotypical to quit
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  substances, but if you're serious about improving your
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  mental health, then you should take this seriously because it
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  is serious. Substances alter your brain
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  chemistry and can make your mental illness so much worse.
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  It can affect your ability to naturally produce dopamine and
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  serotonin, two of the chemicals that have to be healthily
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  regulated in order to have mental health improvement.
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  And over using substances, or for some people, using them at
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  all, can only make that worse. So do a careful evaluation of
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  yourself. I spent some time really paying
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  attention to myself and figuring out whether or not I should quit
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  cold Turkey. And for a while I did, and I
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  healed and I I I got a healthy relationship with these things.
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  And that is crucial. Be aware of yourself and be
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  aware of the dangers that substances can bring.
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  I don't want to sound like I'm just preaching, but this really,
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  really is important for mental health.
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  Be aware and be kind to your brain when it comes to using
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  drugs or alcohol, and be aware of the fact that you very well
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  might be using them as a unhealthy coping mechanism.
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  Red flag #3 Now, the final red flag I'm going to talk about
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  today is also a difficult pill to swallow.
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  We all know how good it can feel to stay up until 3:00 in the
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  morning just avoiding all responsibility.
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  There's something so freeing and rewarding about creating that
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  time for yourself to just ignore reality.
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  Honestly, doing this got me by for the better part of a year.
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  Creating this time for myself allowed me to process some
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  feelings and get to know myself better when nobody else was
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  awake. However, most of us, myself
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  included, for most of my mental health journey, don't use that
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  time for mental health improvement.
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  We use it to numb and distract from the feelings that we've
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  been avoiding all day. We spent the whole day
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  suppressing what we needed to feel and are now faced with
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  those feelings at 2:00 AM. So we numb and distract.
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  Let's face it, it's incredibly bad for our mental health to
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  stay up as late as possible until we literally pass out.
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  I know this time can feel good. You get to be alone and engage
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  in coping mechanisms and feel good in the moment.
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  But this is avoiding the real problem.
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  You're doing this because the thought of the next day is too
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  much to bear. You'd rather force yourself to
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  stay up, then fall asleep and accept the next day as
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  beginning. You'd rather numb out the
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  feelings you've been avoiding than face them during the day.
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  This habit of staying up and numbing leads to both physical
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  and mental exhaustion, and will only make our mental health
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  worse. When I was at my worst, I
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  consistently was staying up past four in the morning.
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  I would avoid ever feeling I slept as late as possible,
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  dreaded getting out of bed. My grades suffered, my mental
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  health only got worse, my relationships and friendships
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  took a decline. And it was all because I was
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  addicted to the dopamine I got from staying up by myself,
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  scrolling on my phone and ignoring reality.
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  And the truth is, if you want to improve your mental health, you
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  have to face what you feel. You can't stay up all night
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  ignoring those emotions. You can't numb them away with
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  drugs and alcohol. You can't isolate yourself from
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  friends and family. Nobody said mental health
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  recovery was going to be easy. In fact, it's quite the
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  opposite. I can tell you first hand that
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  making myself recover from mental illness was one of the
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  hardest things I've ever done, and I'm still working on that
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  journey. It's still an active fight.
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  I still keep myself aware of these red flags to avoid every
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  single day. But it's so worth it.
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  Wanting to be alive every day is so worth it.
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  Wanting to do the things you love is so worth it.
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  So figure out what the red flags are that you need to avoid.
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  These three I talked about today are crucial, but everyone's
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  journey is different. These are just ones that apply
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  for me. You may not struggle with any of
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  these. Or maybe you struggle with all
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  of them and many more. Whatever it is, take it
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  seriously. You deserve that.
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  Your mental health deserves that.
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  Don't distract. Don't numb.
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  Feel your feelings. That's going to wrap it up for
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  today's episode. Thank you so much for being
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  here. If you need help feeling your
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  feelings, please check out my music on all platforms under the
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  name of Ethan Jewell. And I almost guarantee it'll
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  make you cry. I'm actually coming out with a
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  new album April 19th and I spent a whole year learning how to
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  sing for this album. So it would mean a lot if you
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  went over to my Instagram and pre saved it.
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  My Instagram handle is at Jewel Boy with an I under score.
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  While you're over there, shoot me a message and let me know
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  what you thought about today's episode.
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  So thank you so much for being here.
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  Thank you for understanding some of the red flags that you should
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  try to avoid. And as always, thank you for
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  feeling your feelings. I'll see you next time.