Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / What's the point of Love Bombing?
Transcript
- 0:00So what is the point of love bombing?
- 0:03Like why do narcissistic people do it?
- 0:04Why do toxic people do it? Why does anybody love bomb?
- 0:07Why does anybody go over the top to try to infatuate you or get
- 0:12or be obsessed with you or get you to fall in love with them?
- 0:14Why, why? Why?
- 0:15Because how about that today? If you're new here, my name is
- 0:18Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
- 0:19narcissist that is here to help you out.
- 0:22And welcome to another episode of The Narcissist Code.
- 0:41So love bombing confuses a lot of people.
- 0:45Let's get it. Let's just get that out the way.
- 0:47Let's just go and put that out there into the open.
- 0:49Let's put that out there into the ether, the empathetic ether,
- 0:52right, the impact ether. Let's put that out there that
- 0:57love bombing by by anybody can mess with your head it it just
- 1:01can. Y'all does love bombing feel
- 1:03amazing? Yes, love bombing feels amazing
- 1:07to the recipient recipient, but love bombing also feels good to
- 1:12the narcissistic person. So what is the point of it
- 1:16right? I know that's what we're here
- 1:17for. What?
- 1:17What is the point of it? Like I know everybody love
- 1:19bombs. You hear the term love bombing,
- 1:21you hear the term intimate reinforcement.
- 1:24You hear all these terms. What is the point of it all?
- 1:27Well, there's a few points, right?
- 1:29There's a few points to love bombing.
- 1:30There's a few goals that narcissistic people are trying
- 1:33to achieve when they are love bombing you.
- 1:36And no, I'm not saying that this is all a plan from the
- 1:39beginning. Can it be?
- 1:41Yeah, some narcissistic people are plotting.
- 1:44They they plot, right? They plot on how to get you to
- 1:46fall for them. That's just the the fact of the
- 1:48matter, right? But no two narcissists are the
- 1:52same. None.
- 1:53No2 narcissists are the same. Y'all?
- 1:55Did you hear me? No 2 are the same.
- 1:59So with that being said, then they'll that No2 narcissists are
- 2:02the same. It would make sense that the the
- 2:03goals are going to be different. The goals are not going to be
- 2:06the same. So what are the goals of love
- 2:10bombing? It's of course to just get you
- 2:13head over heels in love with them, right?
- 2:15That's one of the goals of love bombing by a narcissistic person
- 2:20is it literally get you the fall head over heels flat on your
- 2:24face in love with them. They just, they, they do it
- 2:27works y'all. But Lee, what the hell do they
- 2:29love Lee? Where do they hell do they love
- 2:31to love love bomb from? Like what did they learn to love
- 2:35bomb? Where does that come from?
- 2:36So it is going to sound super elementary.
- 2:40I can I, I get that right, but it's going to might blow your
- 2:43mind. Me as a narcissist.
- 2:46I learned to love bomb from watching Disney movies because
- 2:53that Disney movies, movies in general, I learned how to watch.
- 2:57I learned how to watch these movies and become Prince
- 3:00Charming does not. Does that not sound familiar to
- 3:03you? Prince Charming, right?
- 3:07How do I get people to fall in love with me?
- 3:08How do I get people to like me? How do I get people enthralled
- 3:11with me? Oh, go over the top, be
- 3:14charming, give them what they want, promise the future.
- 3:17You see what I'm saying? Promises that make, make, make
- 3:20all these types of promises. That's how I get them to fall
- 3:22for me. And that's how it works out,
- 3:24right? That's literally the mentality
- 3:27of it. That's how it works out.
- 3:28That's how it goes. So some of them are just love
- 3:31bombing you because like this, it's the most effective way to
- 3:36get you to fall for them. The most effective way to secure
- 3:39this new supply you in this instance, y'all, you are the new
- 3:43supply. It's just to secure the new
- 3:45supply to secure you to make sure that you're not going
- 3:47anywhere to make sure that I'm the only one to make sure that
- 3:50you're not necessarily stuck with me, but to make sure that
- 3:54you're going to be here. Hey, you going to be here with
- 3:56me? You ain't going nowhere else
- 3:57where you where else you going to go?
- 3:59You see, that's something you have to consider as well.
- 4:02This is part of the mentality. This is part of the mindset,
- 4:05This is part of how things are going to go.
- 4:07So you have to deal with this and this is something you have
- 4:09to consider. Like on the other end of it,
- 4:12you're getting enthralled, You're getting you're getting
- 4:15everything you want and need. You've been Hey, y'all, you've
- 4:17been praying for a partner and it's like you've been praying
- 4:20loudly for a partner. And it's like the narcissist has
- 4:22a you know, those, those cups. How you how back how back in the
- 4:26day we, we used to put the cups on the wall to try to listen.
- 4:31Oh, that's what you want. This is this is how I'm going to
- 4:36get you. Like they be listening.
- 4:42They be listening through the doors and stuff like that.
- 4:44Y'all to 'cause they want to be around you.
- 4:46They want to be in your life and whatnot.
- 4:47So they will listen. They will try to find where you
- 4:50are. They they will try to give you
- 4:51what you want and need because that's how they know they study
- 4:54you, they analyze you. They look at your dating profile
- 4:57and pick things off of that to give you what you want.
- 4:59It's not that. Let's be real, the most
- 5:02effective way to love bomb somebody is literally just to
- 5:04listen and ask them questions about what they want and need
- 5:07and then just go over the top with it.
- 5:09Oh, you like flowers? Here's 1000 flowers.
- 5:12Here's some here's some forever roses on our second date.
- 5:16Oh, you like this? Here's that on our third date.
- 5:19You see what I'm saying? So that's one of the main goals
- 5:20of love by me, y'all. It's just the the quickest way
- 5:23to get you to fall for them. The quickest way.
- 5:25The second day I'm going to talk about today, y'all, I might have
- 5:27a couple of other things as well.
- 5:28The second thing that I'm going to talk about with the love by
- 5:31me phase or why the point of love by me is literally y'all
- 5:35literally because it makes the narcissist feel good.
- 5:40It does love bombing makes the narcissist or taxi person feel
- 5:45good like we as a narcissist and this is me speaking from
- 5:50personal experience as well. I myself have gotten into the
- 5:55like I myself have I myself have gotten addicted to love bombing
- 6:03people. It feels so good, it feels
- 6:06great. It feels, it's like one of those
- 6:09things, it's like one of those things that keeps happening to
- 6:12people. Like I feel great, I love it.
- 6:14I love this feeling. It makes me feel alive.
- 6:16It validates me. Some narcissist can actually get
- 6:20to actually that's actually actually get supply from love
- 6:25bombing you and anybody else. Some narcissist absolutely can
- 6:30get narcissistic supply from love bombing you.
- 6:33Love bombing anybody. This is how they get it right
- 6:35here, right? This is how they get it and this
- 6:40is the mentality and this is the mindset of narcissistic people.
- 6:43Like we are trying to get our goals.
- 6:45Maybe we're we're trying to meet our goals, we're trying to get
- 6:48what we need. We're trying to do this, we're
- 6:49trying to do that, but like we want to feel good.
- 6:51We get bored and we just want to love bond people like This is
- 6:54why you see some narcissist that are, that are just like
- 6:59chronically in new relationships that they, they cannot stay
- 7:01single and they cannot stay in a relationship.
- 7:04Like they get bored very fast. You know, the love bombing
- 7:07phase. And This is why I tell people,
- 7:09if you're in a relationship with a narcissist and they move on
- 7:11very fast and their love bombing somebody else is not really even
- 7:14about you. It's about them.
- 7:17It's about them wanting to feel good.
- 7:19It's about, it's about them being damn near.
- 7:21I'm not, I'm not going to say dead inside, but they feel lost
- 7:24inside. They don't feel, they don't
- 7:26feel, they don't feel good inside.
- 7:28They don't feel, they don't feel fooled.
- 7:32They feel empty. We feel empty.
- 7:33So in order to in the in order to feel full, we need some new
- 7:36supply. So it has nothing to do with
- 7:38you. I know we make it about you.
- 7:40We tell you it's your fault. We tell you, hey, you, this is
- 7:43not working. This is like we, I don't feel
- 7:45the same as I used to, which is true.
- 7:47They don't feel the same same way they used to feel about you,
- 7:49but they're blaming you for it, right?
- 7:52They're blaming you for the love bombing.
- 7:55They're they're blaming you for them going and moving on to try
- 7:59to find a new supply. They're blaming you for it as
- 8:02opposed to taking any type of accountability.
- 8:04They put it on to you. So sometimes narcissists will
- 8:06love bomb other people just because it feels good to them,
- 8:09just because they need new supply, just because like when
- 8:13I'm love bombing somebody, outlet me go into my
- 8:15narcissistic bag, right? When I'm love bombing someone,
- 8:18just think about this right here.
- 8:20When I'm love bombing somebody, like I feel good, like I feel
- 8:27important. I feel amazing, like I love bomb
- 8:32you because you give me supply. You are happy with me, you enjoy
- 8:37me, but you, you make me feel good.
- 8:39I make you. I want to make you feel good
- 8:41because you make me feel good. It's like reciprocating.
- 8:42It's reciprocating, right? There's reciprocity in the
- 8:45beginning. We both feel good, but then
- 8:48boop, it goes away, it turns off, it gets boring, right?
- 8:54And then they got they, they go to somebody else.
- 8:56They got to go to somebody else and it sucks.
- 9:00And then the last thing I talked about today, y'all is one
- 9:02another, another point of love bombing, y'all.
- 9:04It's sometimes love bombing is just used to make somebody else
- 9:08jealous. Like love bombing can absolutely
- 9:11be used to make someone else jealous.
- 9:15It can. It's just that it like if you
- 9:18like when I tell them I'm moving on to the new supply, there's an
- 9:20old supply. Like if I have a new supply,
- 9:23that means that there was an old supply, correct?
- 9:25So think about it from that perspective right there.
- 9:26If there's a new supply, then there's also an old supply.
- 9:30So the person that I left, I think, yeah, I know I said this
- 9:36on my channels before that narcissist live their lives like
- 9:40their exes are watching them. Like a narcissist is living
- 9:44their life, going about their life, living like, you know,
- 9:47thinking, thinking about every single thing.
- 9:49They are living their lives like they think their exes are
- 9:53watching them. So with that being said, they're
- 9:55going to put on a show. They're going to try to make it
- 9:58seem like they're like you are worthless.
- 10:01So sometimes they're love bombing new people.
- 10:03The point of this new love bombing face, yes, I feel good
- 10:06from it, but it's also to hurt people in the past to make you
- 10:11feel less worthy, to question your own self worth, to make you
- 10:16feel bad about how things are going and how the situation is
- 10:20transitioned. Like that's the point of some
- 10:22narcissist love bombing right there is to just make you feel
- 10:26bad is to make the exes question their self worth, is to make the
- 10:30exes feel bad about about what's actually going on, how it
- 10:35actually ended. So This is why I tell people to
- 10:38turn off the narcissist TV if you like.
- 10:41Narcissists live their lives like their exes are watching,
- 10:43whether or not they are actually watching.
- 10:46So if you're watching, you're going to get your feelings hurt.
- 10:49You're going to have you're going to feel like you were the
- 10:51problem. You're going to feel like all
- 10:52this happened because because of you, you're going to feel like
- 10:56you're unhappy because of yourself.
- 10:58I mean, because of their love by me, somebody else they're
- 11:01changing is going to look like they're changing for the new
- 11:04person. You're going to feel unhappy
- 11:06because of that. It's going to hurt you, and
- 11:08that's the point right there. Y'all, The point is to hurt you.
- 11:11I know it sounds malicious. I know it sounds dark.
- 11:14I know it sounds just horrible, but that's the point.
- 11:16Sometimes it's to do to do this stuff to you, to make things
- 11:20bad, right? It it, it just it does get to
- 11:23the point right there. So I say that to say this, you
- 11:26are in control. You can turn off the narcissist
- 11:30TV. That's why I called it the
- 11:31narcissist TV. And y'all if y'all new here, the
- 11:34narcissist TV is when you're watching their social media,
- 11:37it's like a reality TV show. They are they in the, in the, in
- 11:41this show, on the narcissist TV show, they are the stars and
- 11:45they're just trying to act like it.
- 11:46You know, reality TV, y'all is reality TV.
- 11:48They know a camera's on them. They don't oh, there's cameras
- 11:51following me. Follow me.
- 11:52Oh, no, like the Kardashian show, they know there's cameras
- 11:55there. They, yeah, they reshoot
- 11:58intimate family moments. That's weird.
- 12:00You know what I mean? So just have the same thought
- 12:04process when you're dealing with a narcissist.
- 12:05Like, hey, look, this is reality TV.
- 12:08This is the show. They're putting on their best
- 12:10show. They're putting their best foot
- 12:11forward and their best foot just happens to be a peg leg.
- 12:17Maybe with y'all. Thank y'all for tuning in.
- 12:19Y'all watch out for those love bombers.
- 12:21One question you want to ask yourself into to see if this is
- 12:25love bombing or not. Ask yourself, is this
- 12:28sustainable, right? And ask yourself, is this moving
- 12:31too fast? Two questions, two questions
- 12:32right there. Y'all, if you haven't y'all make
- 12:34sure you hit that notification bell so you don't miss an
- 12:36upload. YouTube told me he's like, hey
- 12:38Lee, you got to get more people to turn on those notifications
- 12:40so more people will watch the content.
- 12:42You can help me reach more people.
- 12:44You can you know, you know my YouTube, my YouTube Rep follows
- 12:47me and said yeah, to make sure they turn on notifications so
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- 12:51with season 2 of the narcissist code and you bringing the heat,
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- 13:03So don't miss upload and I'm out peace.
- 13:06Before you go, make sure that you hit that subscribe button.
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- 13:11button. Also you can find my coaching,
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- 13:22Y'all thank you so much for being here.
- 13:24I'm super grateful I'm out. Peace.