Latest / #WisdomOfWomen Show / From Coping to Healing: Empowering Women in Business with Dr. Bridget Cooper

Transcript

From Coping to Healing: Empowering Women in Business with Dr. Bridget Cooper · #WisdomOfWomen Show

• 0:00
  Welcome
• 0:00
  to
• 0:00
  the
• 0:00
  Wisdom
• 0:01
  of
• 0:01
  Women
• 0:01
  Show.
• 0:02
  We
• 0:02
  are
• 0:03
  dedicated
• 0:03
  to
• 0:03
  amplifying
• 0:04
  the
• 0:04
  voice
• 0:04
  of
• 0:05
  women
• 0:05
  in
• 0:05
  business.
• 0:06
  A
• 0:07
  new
• 0:07
  model
• 0:08
  of
• 0:08
  leadership
• 0:09
  is
• 0:09
  emerging
• 0:10
  and
• 0:10
  we
• 0:10
  are
• 0:10
  here
• 0:11
  to
• 0:11
  amplify
• 0:11
  the
• 0:12
  voices
• 0:12
  of
• 0:12
  women
• 0:12
  leading
• 0:13
  the
• 0:13
  way.
• 0:14
  I
• 0:14
  am
• 0:14
  your
• 0:15
  host,
• 0:15
  Coco
• 0:15
  Salman,
• 0:16
  five
• 0:16
  time
• 0:16
  founder,
• 0:17
  Impact
• 0:17
  Investor
• 0:18
  and
• 0:18
  creator
• 0:19
  of
• 0:19
  the
• 0:19
  Force
• 0:19
  for
• 0:19
  Good
• 0:20
  System.
• 0:21
  Thank
• 0:22
  you
• 0:22
  for
• 0:22
  joining
• 0:23
  us
• 0:23
  today
• 0:23
  as
• 0:24
  we
• 0:24
  illuminate
• 0:25
  the
• 0:25
  path
• 0:26
  to
• 0:26
  unlocking
• 0:27
  opportunities
• 0:28
  and
• 0:28
  prosperity
• 0:28
  for
• 0:29
  women
• 0:29
  led
• 0:29
  enterprises
• 0:30
  by
• 0:31
  amplifying
• 0:32
  the
• 0:32
  voice
• 0:32
  and
• 0:33
  wisdom
• 0:33
  of
• 0:34
  women
• 0:35
  today.
• 0:36
  Gift
• 0:37
  we
• 0:38
  have
• 0:38
  a
• 0:39
  brilliant
• 0:40
  author
• 0:42
  and
• 0:42
  transformative,
• 0:43
  I'm
• 0:43
  going
• 0:43
  to
• 0:43
  say
• 0:44
  healer.
• 0:44
  Her
• 0:44
  name
• 0:45
  is
• 0:45
  Dr.
• 0:45
  Bridget
• 0:46
  Cooper,
• 0:47
  affectionately
• 0:48
  known
• 0:48
  as
• 0:49
  Dr.
• 0:49
  B.
• 0:50
  She
• 0:50
  is
• 0:51
  a
• 0:51
  seasoned
• 0:52
  expert
• 0:53
  in
• 0:53
  making
• 0:53
  leaders
• 0:54
  and
• 0:54
  organizations
• 0:55
  better.
• 0:56
  Her
• 0:56
  work
• 0:57
  focuses
• 0:57
  on
• 0:58
  teaching
• 0:58
  corporate
• 0:59
  officers
• 1:00
  and
• 1:00
  their
• 1:00
  teams
• 1:01
  how
• 1:01
  to
• 1:01
  think,
• 1:01
  think,
• 1:02
  communicate
• 1:03
  and
• 1:03
  solve
• 1:04
  problems
• 1:05
  more
• 1:05
  effectively.
• 1:06
  As
• 1:06
  the
• 1:07
  author
• 1:07
  of
• 1:08
  Unflappable
• 1:08
  How
• 1:09
  Smart
• 1:10
  People
• 1:10
  Quit
• 1:11
  Overthinking,
• 1:12
  Ditch
• 1:12
  the
• 1:13
  Drama
• 1:13
  and
• 1:14
  thrive
• 1:14
  at
• 1:14
  work,
• 1:15
  Dr.
• 1:16
  B
• 1:16
  provides
• 1:17
  practical
• 1:17
  tools
• 1:18
  very,
• 1:18
  very,
• 1:19
  very
• 1:19
  awesome
• 1:20
  tools
• 1:20
  for
• 1:21
  reducing
• 1:21
  stress
• 1:22
  and
• 1:22
  enhancing
• 1:23
  workplace
• 1:25
  interactions.
• 1:26
  With
• 1:26
  over
• 1:26
  20
• 1:26
  years
• 1:27
  of
• 1:27
  experience
• 1:27
  in
• 1:28
  human
• 1:28
  resources,
• 1:29
  counseling
• 1:29
  and
• 1:29
  leadership
• 1:30
  development,
• 1:30
  Dr.
• 1:31
  B
• 1:31
  has
• 1:31
  helped
• 1:32
  countless
• 1:33
  worldwide
• 1:34
  shape
• 1:34
  their
• 1:34
  strategy,
• 1:35
  resolve
• 1:36
  conflicts
• 1:36
  and
• 1:37
  improve
• 1:37
  their
• 1:38
  company
• 1:38
  culture.
• 1:39
  Our
• 1:39
  energetic
• 1:40
  seminars
• 1:41
  and
• 1:41
  keynotes
• 1:41
  cover
• 1:42
  essential
• 1:43
  skills
• 1:43
  like
• 1:44
  communication,
• 1:45
  managing
• 1:45
  changes,
• 1:46
  and
• 1:46
  building
• 1:47
  teams
• 1:47
  that
• 1:47
  push
• 1:48
  themselves
• 1:49
  to
• 1:49
  itself.
• 1:51
  Welcome.
• 1:52
  Wow.
• 1:53
  Every
• 1:53
  time
• 1:53
  I
• 1:53
  get
• 1:53
  introduced
• 1:54
  on
• 1:54
  a
• 1:54
  show
• 1:55
  or
• 1:55
  in
• 1:55
  in
• 1:56
  a
• 1:56
  podcast
• 1:56
  format,
• 1:57
  I'm
• 1:57
  like,
• 1:57
  you
• 1:58
  know,
• 1:58
  I
• 1:58
  should
• 1:58
  probably
• 1:58
  just
• 1:59
  give
• 1:59
  you
• 1:59
  a
• 1:59
  couple
• 2:00
  really
• 2:00
  small,
• 2:01
  low
• 2:01
  level
• 2:02
  things
• 2:02
  that
• 2:02
  I
• 2:02
  do
• 2:03
  so
• 2:03
  that
• 2:03
  we
• 2:03
  don't
• 2:04
  oversell
• 2:05
  because
• 2:05
  you
• 2:05
  know,
• 2:05
  you
• 2:05
  want
• 2:05
  to
• 2:06
  go
• 2:06
  in
• 2:06
  with
• 2:06
  low
• 2:06
  expectations
• 2:07
  and
• 2:07
  then
• 2:08
  exceed
• 2:08
  them.
• 2:08
  Whenever
• 2:09
  I
• 2:09
  get
• 2:09
  introduced
• 2:09
  I'm
• 2:09
  like,
• 2:10
  oh
• 2:10
  gosh,
• 2:10
  now
• 2:10
  I
• 2:11
  have
• 2:11
  something
• 2:11
  to
• 2:11
  live
• 2:11
  up
• 2:12
  to.
• 2:12
  This
• 2:12
  is
• 2:12
  going
• 2:12
  to
• 2:12
  be
• 2:13
  fun,
• 2:14
  but
• 2:15
  thank
• 2:15
  you
• 2:15
  for
• 2:15
  that.
• 2:16
  Certainly
• 2:16
  live
• 2:16
  up
• 2:17
  to
• 2:17
  it
• 2:17
  all.
• 2:17
  You
• 2:18
  are
• 2:18
  the
• 2:18
  real
• 2:19
  deal.
• 2:20
  So
• 2:20
  as
• 2:21
  we
• 2:21
  always
• 2:21
  start,
• 2:22
  what
• 2:22
  is
• 2:22
  a
• 2:22
  book
• 2:23
  written
• 2:23
  by
• 2:24
  a
• 2:24
  woman
• 2:24
  that
• 2:25
  has
• 2:25
  significantly
• 2:27
  influenced
• 2:27
  your
• 2:27
  life?
• 2:27
  Life.
• 2:28
  Okay,
• 2:28
  so
• 2:29
  first
• 2:29
  of
• 2:29
  all,
• 2:29
  I
• 2:29
  just
• 2:29
  want
• 2:29
  to
• 2:30
  give
• 2:30
  you
• 2:30
  a
• 2:30
  shout
• 2:30
  out.
• 2:30
  If
• 2:31
  you
• 2:31
  haven't
• 2:31
  already
• 2:31
  bought
• 2:31
  her
• 2:32
  book,
• 2:32
  you
• 2:32
  need
• 2:32
  to.
• 2:33
  This
• 2:33
  has
• 2:33
  newly
• 2:34
  significantly
• 2:35
  affected
• 2:35
  my
• 2:35
  life.
• 2:36
  However,
• 2:37
  I
• 2:37
  had
• 2:37
  that
• 2:38
  homework
• 2:38
  before
• 2:38
  I
• 2:39
  got
• 2:39
  to
• 2:39
  read
• 2:39
  your
• 2:39
  book,
• 2:40
  so
• 2:40
  I
• 2:41
  came
• 2:41
  up
• 2:41
  with
• 2:41
  another
• 2:41
  one.
• 2:42
  Elizabeth
• 2:42
  Gilbert
• 2:43
  is
• 2:43
  one
• 2:43
  of
• 2:43
  my
• 2:44
  favorite
• 2:44
  authors.
• 2:45
  She's
• 2:45
  written
• 2:45
  a
• 2:46
  whole
• 2:46
  lot
• 2:46
  more
• 2:47
  than
• 2:47
  the
• 2:48
  first
• 2:48
  book
• 2:48
  that
• 2:49
  introduced
• 2:49
  me
• 2:49
  to
• 2:49
  her.
• 2:50
  Big
• 2:50
  Magic
• 2:50
  is
• 2:51
  an
• 2:51
  amazing
• 2:51
  book
• 2:51
  as
• 2:51
  well.
• 2:52
  But
• 2:52
  when
• 2:52
  I
• 2:53
  think
• 2:53
  about
• 2:53
  what
• 2:54
  shifted
• 2:54
  the
• 2:54
  trajectory
• 2:55
  of
• 2:55
  my
• 2:56
  identity
• 2:56
  and
• 2:57
  my
• 2:57
  life
• 2:58
  and
• 2:58
  getting
• 2:59
  empowered
• 3:00
  at
• 3:00
  a
• 3:00
  time
• 3:00
  when
• 3:01
  I
• 3:01
  felt
• 3:01
  less
• 3:02
  than
• 3:02
  empowered,
• 3:03
  Eat,
• 3:03
  Pray,
• 3:03
  Love.
• 3:04
  And
• 3:05
  for
• 3:05
  me
• 3:06
  it
• 3:06
  was
• 3:06
  this
• 3:06
  idea
• 3:07
  of
• 3:08
  I
• 3:08
  love
• 3:08
  some
• 3:08
  of
• 3:08
  her
• 3:08
  quips
• 3:09
  of
• 3:10
  you
• 3:10
  have
• 3:10
  a
• 3:10
  wishbone
• 3:11
  where
• 3:11
  your
• 3:11
  backbone
• 3:11
  ought
• 3:12
  to
• 3:12
  be.
• 3:13
  You
• 3:13
  have
• 3:13
  more
• 3:13
  Hope
• 3:14
  than
• 3:14
  sense.
• 3:15
  And
• 3:15
  if
• 3:16
  you
• 3:16
  love
• 3:16
  someone,
• 3:17
  you
• 3:17
  can
• 3:17
  send
• 3:17
  them
• 3:18
  love.
• 3:18
  The
• 3:18
  difference
• 3:19
  between
• 3:19
  love
• 3:20
  and
• 3:20
  relationship.
• 3:21
  And
• 3:21
  all
• 3:21
  of
• 3:21
  those
• 3:22
  things
• 3:22
  factored
• 3:22
  into
• 3:23
  my
• 3:23
  ability
• 3:24
  to
• 3:25
  really
• 3:26
  know
• 3:26
  who
• 3:26
  I
• 3:27
  was
• 3:27
  as
• 3:27
  a
• 3:27
  person,
• 3:28
  what
• 3:28
  I
• 3:28
  could
• 3:29
  be
• 3:29
  as
• 3:29
  a
• 3:29
  professional
• 3:31
  and
• 3:32
  be
• 3:33
  able
• 3:33
  to
• 3:33
  see
• 3:34
  relationships
• 3:35
  in
• 3:35
  a
• 3:35
  more
• 3:35
  healthy
• 3:36
  light
• 3:37
  in
• 3:37
  all
• 3:37
  aspects
• 3:38
  of
• 3:38
  my
• 3:38
  life.
• 3:39
  For
• 3:39
  me,
• 3:39
  creating
• 3:40
  the
• 3:40
  business
• 3:41
  I
• 3:41
  created
• 3:42
  had
• 3:43
  a
• 3:43
  genesis
• 3:44
  in
• 3:44
  understanding
• 3:44
  who
• 3:45
  I
• 3:45
  was
• 3:45
  as
• 3:45
  a
• 3:46
  woman,
• 3:46
  a
• 3:46
  wife,
• 3:47
  a
• 3:47
  partner,
• 3:47
  and
• 3:47
  a
• 3:47
  mother.
• 3:48
  All
• 3:48
  of
• 3:48
  that
• 3:48
  kind
• 3:49
  of
• 3:49
  gelled
• 3:50
  together
• 3:50
  in
• 3:51
  Eat,
• 3:51
  Pray,
• 3:51
  Love.
• 3:52
  It's
• 3:52
  such
• 3:52
  a
• 3:53
  delicious
• 3:53
  book.
• 3:54
  It's
• 3:54
  so
• 3:54
  good.
• 3:55
  And
• 3:55
  I
• 3:55
  really
• 3:55
  thought
• 3:56
  the
• 3:56
  movie
• 3:56
  wasn't
• 3:56
  going
• 3:56
  to
• 3:57
  do
• 3:57
  it
• 3:57
  justice.
• 3:58
  And
• 3:58
  it
• 3:58
  did.
• 3:59
  But
• 3:59
  I
• 4:00
  still
• 4:00
  preferred
• 4:00
  the
• 4:00
  book.
• 4:01
  Great.
• 4:02
  I
• 4:02
  mean,
• 4:02
  Julia
• 4:03
  Roberts
• 4:03
  is
• 4:03
  spectacular,
• 4:04
  of
• 4:05
  course.
• 4:06
  And
• 4:06
  there
• 4:06
  is
• 4:07
  more
• 4:07
  that
• 4:07
  you
• 4:07
  can
• 4:07
  share
• 4:08
  in
• 4:08
  the
• 4:08
  book
• 4:08
  because
• 4:09
  you're
• 4:09
  not
• 4:09
  limited
• 4:09
  to
• 4:10
  like
• 4:10
  2
• 4:10
  hours
• 4:10
  of
• 4:11
  screen
• 4:11
  time.
• 4:12
  It's
• 4:12
  so
• 4:12
  good.
• 4:13
  It
• 4:13
  dispels
• 4:14
  something
• 4:14
  and
• 4:14
  uplifts
• 4:15
  something
• 4:15
  within,
• 4:16
  you
• 4:16
  know,
• 4:16
  Eat,
• 4:17
  Pray,
• 4:17
  Love.
• 4:18
  I
• 4:18
  felt
• 4:18
  seen
• 4:19
  in
• 4:19
  that
• 4:19
  journey,
• 4:20
  like
• 4:20
  watching
• 4:20
  her
• 4:21
  come
• 4:22
  to
• 4:22
  terms
• 4:22
  with
• 4:23
  some
• 4:23
  of
• 4:23
  her
• 4:23
  ghosts
• 4:24
  and
• 4:24
  demons
• 4:25
  and
• 4:26
  the
• 4:26
  way
• 4:26
  that
• 4:26
  she
• 4:26
  was
• 4:27
  equating
• 4:27
  her
• 4:28
  worth
• 4:28
  and
• 4:28
  value
• 4:29
  and
• 4:29
  identity.
• 4:30
  And
• 4:30
  I
• 4:30
  think
• 4:30
  that
• 4:30
  was
• 4:31
  so
• 4:31
  much
• 4:31
  a
• 4:31
  part
• 4:31
  of
• 4:32
  my
• 4:32
  journey
• 4:32
  at
• 4:32
  that
• 4:32
  time.
• 4:33
  So
• 4:33
  it
• 4:33
  was
• 4:33
  very
• 4:33
  powerful.
• 4:35
  Well,
• 4:36
  you
• 4:36
  are
• 4:36
  a
• 4:36
  terrifically
• 4:37
  wise
• 4:37
  woman.
• 4:38
  And
• 4:39
  you
• 4:39
  know,
• 4:39
  it's
• 4:40
  very
• 4:41
  evident
• 4:41
  whenever
• 4:42
  I
• 4:42
  get
• 4:42
  to
• 4:42
  spend
• 4:43
  any
• 4:43
  time
• 4:43
  moments
• 4:44
  with
• 4:44
  you,
• 4:44
  I
• 4:44
  feel
• 4:45
  it
• 4:45
  in
• 4:45
  the
• 4:45
  bottom
• 4:45
  of
• 4:46
  my
• 4:46
  feet
• 4:46
  and
• 4:46
  in
• 4:47
  the
• 4:47
  top
• 4:47
  of
• 4:47
  my
• 4:47
  head
• 4:48
  and
• 4:48
  all
• 4:48
  in
• 4:48
  between.
• 4:49
  I
• 4:49
  just
• 4:49
  love
• 4:50
  your
• 4:50
  book.
• 4:51
  It
• 4:51
  is
• 4:51
  really
• 4:52
  spectacular.
• 4:53
  At
• 4:53
  the
• 4:53
  beginning
• 4:53
  of
• 4:54
  the
• 4:54
  book,
• 4:54
  you
• 4:54
  lay
• 4:54
  it
• 4:55
  out
• 4:55
  so
• 4:55
  beautifully.
• 4:56
  You
• 4:57
  cite
• 4:57
  that
• 4:57
  stress
• 4:58
  caused
• 4:59
  by
• 5:00
  a
• 5:00
  manager
• 5:00
  leads
• 5:01
  to
• 5:01
  a
• 5:01
  talent
• 5:02
  loss.
• 5:03
  With
• 5:03
  75,
• 5:04
  78%
• 5:05
  of
• 5:06
  workers
• 5:06
  saying
• 5:06
  their
• 5:06
  stress
• 5:07
  negatively
• 5:07
  affects
• 5:08
  their
• 5:08
  performance.
• 5:09
  All
• 5:09
  is
• 5:10
  stress.
• 5:10
  And
• 5:11
  you
• 5:11
  said
• 5:11
  only
• 5:12
  46%
• 5:13
  of
• 5:13
  workers
• 5:14
  trust
• 5:14
  direct
• 5:15
  managers
• 5:16
  to
• 5:16
  do
• 5:16
  the
• 5:16
  right
• 5:16
  thing
• 5:17
  and
• 5:18
  only
• 5:18
  32%
• 5:20
  trust
• 5:20
  senior
• 5:21
  leaders.
• 5:21
  And
• 5:21
  I
• 5:21
  read
• 5:22
  that
• 5:22
  and
• 5:22
  I
• 5:22
  thought.
• 5:22
  Oh
• 5:22
  my
• 5:23
  goodness,
• 5:24
  there's
• 5:24
  no
• 5:25
  trust.
• 5:25
  What's
• 5:26
  going
• 5:26
  on
• 5:26
  here?
• 5:27
  There's
• 5:28
  so
• 5:28
  many
• 5:28
  things
• 5:29
  that
• 5:29
  are
• 5:29
  going
• 5:29
  on.
• 5:30
  The
• 5:30
  clients
• 5:30
  that
• 5:30
  I
• 5:30
  work
• 5:31
  with
• 5:31
  appreciate
• 5:32
  the
• 5:33
  parallels
• 5:34
  between
• 5:34
  how
• 5:35
  we,
• 5:35
  we
• 5:35
  are
• 5:35
  as
• 5:36
  humans
• 5:36
  outside
• 5:36
  of
• 5:37
  work
• 5:37
  and
• 5:37
  how
• 5:37
  we
• 5:38
  are
• 5:38
  as
• 5:38
  humans
• 5:38
  and
• 5:39
  workers
• 5:39
  inside
• 5:39
  of
• 5:40
  work.
• 5:40
  And
• 5:41
  so
• 5:41
  there
• 5:41
  is
• 5:41
  a.
• 5:42
  There's
• 5:42
  a
• 5:42
  global
• 5:43
  unhealth
• 5:44
  around
• 5:45
  our
• 5:46
  own
• 5:46
  self
• 5:46
  perception
• 5:47
  and
• 5:47
  our
• 5:48
  perception
• 5:48
  of
• 5:49
  others
• 5:49
  and
• 5:49
  relationship.
• 5:50
  And
• 5:51
  so
• 5:51
  this
• 5:52
  idea
• 5:52
  about
• 5:53
  trust
• 5:53
  is
• 5:54
  there's
• 5:55
  a
• 5:55
  lot
• 5:55
  of
• 5:55
  pieces
• 5:56
  to
• 5:56
  unpack
• 5:56
  underneath
• 5:57
  that.
• 5:57
  I
• 5:57
  have
• 5:57
  a
• 5:57
  model
• 5:58
  called
• 5:58
  Fear
• 5:58
  Trust
• 5:59
  Control,
• 5:59
  which
• 5:59
  I've
• 5:59
  been
• 6:00
  presenting
• 6:00
  at
• 6:00
  companies.
• 6:01
  And
• 6:01
  it
• 6:01
  really
• 6:02
  just
• 6:02
  says
• 6:02
  that
• 6:02
  when
• 6:03
  fear
• 6:03
  is
• 6:03
  high,
• 6:03
  trust
• 6:04
  is
• 6:04
  low,
• 6:05
  and
• 6:05
  control
• 6:06
  mechanisms
• 6:07
  escalate
• 6:08
  to
• 6:08
  unthinkable
• 6:09
  Proportions.
• 6:10
  And
• 6:11
  when
• 6:11
  we
• 6:11
  have
• 6:12
  organizations
• 6:13
  that
• 6:13
  are
• 6:13
  not
• 6:13
  built
• 6:14
  in
• 6:14
  trust,
• 6:14
  they're
• 6:15
  not
• 6:15
  built
• 6:15
  in
• 6:16
  authenticity,
• 6:17
  they're
• 6:17
  not
• 6:17
  built
• 6:18
  from
• 6:19
  core
• 6:20
  values
• 6:20
  being
• 6:21
  evident
• 6:21
  in
• 6:21
  the
• 6:22
  work.
• 6:22
  The
• 6:22
  why
• 6:23
  doesn't
• 6:24
  equate
• 6:24
  to
• 6:24
  the
• 6:24
  how
• 6:25
  doesn't
• 6:25
  equate
• 6:25
  to
• 6:26
  the
• 6:26
  what
• 6:26
  and
• 6:26
  the
• 6:26
  who.
• 6:27
  We
• 6:27
  have
• 6:28
  just
• 6:28
  so
• 6:28
  much
• 6:29
  lack
• 6:29
  of
• 6:29
  integrity.
• 6:30
  And
• 6:31
  even
• 6:31
  with
• 6:31
  the
• 6:31
  best
• 6:32
  meaning
• 6:32
  of
• 6:32
  people,
• 6:33
  if
• 6:33
  people
• 6:34
  are
• 6:34
  unhealthy,
• 6:35
  they
• 6:35
  bring
• 6:35
  those
• 6:35
  unhealthy
• 6:36
  patterns
• 6:36
  into
• 6:36
  work
• 6:37
  and
• 6:37
  then
• 6:37
  organizations
• 6:38
  are
• 6:38
  unhealthy
• 6:39
  and
• 6:39
  then
• 6:39
  on
• 6:40
  and
• 6:40
  on
• 6:40
  it
• 6:40
  goes.
• 6:41
  So
• 6:42
  the
• 6:42
  book
• 6:42
  was
• 6:43
  written
• 6:43
  as
• 6:44
  a
• 6:44
  collection
• 6:44
  of
• 6:45
  tools
• 6:45
  to
• 6:45
  be
• 6:45
  able
• 6:45
  to
• 6:45
  help
• 6:46
  people
• 6:47
  open
• 6:47
  quickly
• 6:48
  to
• 6:48
  just
• 6:48
  anything
• 6:49
  that
• 6:49
  might
• 6:49
  shift
• 6:49
  their
• 6:50
  thinking
• 6:50
  about
• 6:50
  a
• 6:51
  problem.
• 6:51
  Because
• 6:51
  often
• 6:51
  we
• 6:51
  can't
• 6:52
  solve
• 6:52
  problems
• 6:52
  because
• 6:52
  we're
• 6:53
  thinking
• 6:53
  about
• 6:53
  the
• 6:53
  problem
• 6:54
  itself.
• 6:55
  Wrong.
• 6:56
  And
• 6:56
  yeah,
• 6:56
  and
• 6:56
  that's
• 6:57
  one
• 6:57
  of
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  reasons
• 6:57
  why
• 6:57
  I
• 6:57
  loved
• 6:57
  your
• 6:58
  book,
• 6:58
  because
• 6:58
  it
• 6:58
  talks
• 6:59
  about
• 6:59
  doing
• 7:00
  things
• 7:01
  with
• 7:01
  purpose,
• 7:02
  I
• 7:02
  think.
• 7:02
  So
• 7:02
  often
• 7:03
  we
• 7:03
  lose
• 7:04
  sight
• 7:04
  of
• 7:04
  that
• 7:05
  in
• 7:05
  our
• 7:05
  day
• 7:05
  to
• 7:06
  day
• 7:06
  work,
• 7:06
  get
• 7:07
  caught
• 7:07
  up
• 7:07
  in
• 7:07
  the
• 7:07
  minutia
• 7:08
  and
• 7:08
  go
• 7:08
  off
• 7:09
  track.
• 7:10
  It
• 7:10
  creates
• 7:11
  all
• 7:11
  of
• 7:11
  this
• 7:11
  stress
• 7:12
  and
• 7:12
  we
• 7:13
  have
• 7:13
  behaviors
• 7:15
  that
• 7:15
  come
• 7:15
  out
• 7:16
  that
• 7:16
  are
• 7:17
  not
• 7:17
  so
• 7:17
  good.
• 7:18
  And
• 7:18
  I
• 7:18
  love
• 7:18
  this
• 7:18
  quote
• 7:19
  in
• 7:19
  the
• 7:19
  book.
• 7:20
  Unchecked,
• 7:21
  the
• 7:22
  unconscious
• 7:22
  thoughts
• 7:23
  and
• 7:23
  pathways
• 7:23
  that
• 7:24
  we
• 7:24
  go
• 7:24
  into
• 7:24
  lead
• 7:25
  us
• 7:25
  to
• 7:25
  think,
• 7:26
  feel
• 7:27
  and
• 7:27
  behave
• 7:28
  in
• 7:28
  detrimental
• 7:29
  and
• 7:30
  unhealthy
• 7:30
  ways,
• 7:31
  yet
• 7:32
  incredibly
• 7:33
  efficient
• 7:33
  ways.
• 7:34
  I
• 7:34
  mean,
• 7:34
  you
• 7:34
  can
• 7:35
  be
• 7:35
  incredibly
• 7:36
  efficient
• 7:36
  in
• 7:36
  your
• 7:37
  very
• 7:37
  ineffective
• 7:38
  behavior.
• 7:40
  Like
• 7:40
  that's.
• 7:40
  I
• 7:40
  mean,
• 7:41
  efficiency
• 7:42
  cannot
• 7:42
  be
• 7:42
  the
• 7:42
  only
• 7:43
  standard
• 7:43
  by
• 7:43
  which
• 7:44
  we
• 7:44
  judge
• 7:44
  behavior
• 7:45
  because
• 7:45
  it's
• 7:45
  inaccurate.
• 7:46
  A
• 7:47
  lot
• 7:47
  of
• 7:47
  our.
• 7:47
  What
• 7:47
  I
• 7:48
  differentiate,
• 7:48
  and
• 7:48
  it's
• 7:49
  one
• 7:49
  of
• 7:49
  the
• 7:49
  tools
• 7:49
  in
• 7:49
  the
• 7:49
  book,
• 7:50
  is
• 7:50
  the
• 7:50
  difference
• 7:50
  between
• 7:51
  a
• 7:51
  coping
• 7:51
  mechanism
• 7:51
  and
• 7:52
  a
• 7:52
  healing
• 7:52
  mechanism
• 7:53
  that
• 7:53
  can
• 7:54
  be
• 7:54
  truth
• 7:55
  inside
• 7:55
  of
• 7:55
  yourself
• 7:56
  or
• 7:56
  in
• 7:57
  relationships.
• 7:57
  What
• 7:58
  we
• 7:58
  use
• 7:58
  to
• 7:59
  cope
• 7:59
  can
• 7:59
  be
• 7:59
  very
• 8:00
  effective
• 8:00
  to
• 8:01
  get
• 8:01
  us
• 8:01
  through
• 8:01
  a
• 8:02
  moment,
• 8:02
  through
• 8:03
  a
• 8:03
  crisis,
• 8:04
  but
• 8:04
  it
• 8:04
  does
• 8:05
  not
• 8:05
  do
• 8:05
  much
• 8:05
  of
• 8:06
  anything.
• 8:06
  It
• 8:06
  actually
• 8:07
  does
• 8:07
  a
• 8:07
  detrimental
• 8:08
  service
• 8:09
  to
• 8:09
  healing
• 8:10
  and
• 8:10
  resolving
• 8:10
  a
• 8:10
  problem.
• 8:11
  So
• 8:11
  often
• 8:12
  we
• 8:12
  get
• 8:12
  into
• 8:12
  these
• 8:13
  coping
• 8:13
  mechanisms
• 8:14
  over
• 8:14
  and
• 8:14
  over
• 8:15
  again
• 8:15
  without
• 8:15
  checking
• 8:16
  ourselves
• 8:16
  to
• 8:16
  see
• 8:16
  if
• 8:17
  we
• 8:17
  have
• 8:17
  a
• 8:17
  healing
• 8:17
  mechanism
• 8:18
  in
• 8:18
  place
• 8:18
  that's
• 8:18
  going
• 8:18
  to
• 8:19
  actually
• 8:19
  restore
• 8:20
  and
• 8:20
  repair
• 8:21
  the
• 8:21
  relationship
• 8:22
  or
• 8:22
  the
• 8:22
  crisis
• 8:22
  or
• 8:23
  the
• 8:23
  source
• 8:23
  of
• 8:23
  the
• 8:23
  problem.
• 8:25
  It's
• 8:25
  actually
• 8:26
  really
• 8:26
  profound
• 8:27
  what
• 8:27
  you're
• 8:27
  talking
• 8:27
  about.
• 8:28
  The
• 8:28
  efficiency
• 8:29
  is
• 8:29
  actually
• 8:30
  of
• 8:31
  a
• 8:31
  lower
• 8:32
  order
• 8:33
  of
• 8:35
  goodness,
• 8:35
  I
• 8:35
  would
• 8:36
  say,
• 8:36
  because
• 8:36
  the
• 8:37
  efficiency
• 8:37
  basically
• 8:38
  gets
• 8:38
  us
• 8:39
  to
• 8:39
  default
• 8:40
  to
• 8:40
  seeing
• 8:41
  somebody
• 8:41
  else
• 8:42
  as
• 8:42
  the
• 8:42
  problem.
• 8:43
  Oh,
• 8:43
  absolutely.
• 8:44
  Getting
• 8:44
  ourselves
• 8:45
  to
• 8:45
  be
• 8:45
  able
• 8:45
  to
• 8:45
  be
• 8:46
  the
• 8:46
  victim,
• 8:46
  which
• 8:46
  everybody
• 8:47
  always
• 8:47
  wants
• 8:47
  to
• 8:47
  not
• 8:48
  deny
• 8:48
  being
• 8:48
  the
• 8:48
  victim.
• 8:49
  Actually
• 8:49
  you're
• 8:50
  behaving
• 8:50
  like
• 8:50
  it
• 8:50
  and
• 8:51
  it's
• 8:51
  comfortable
• 8:51
  to
• 8:51
  be
• 8:51
  the
• 8:52
  victim
• 8:52
  because
• 8:52
  then
• 8:52
  you're
• 8:53
  responsible.
• 8:54
  And
• 8:54
  we
• 8:55
  think
• 8:55
  we're
• 8:55
  the
• 8:55
  only
• 8:55
  ones
• 8:56
  struggling.
• 8:56
  You
• 8:56
  talk
• 8:56
  about
• 8:57
  this.
• 8:57
  Can
• 8:57
  you
• 8:57
  say
• 8:57
  more
• 8:57
  about
• 8:58
  this?
• 8:59
  Because
• 8:59
  I
• 8:59
  think
• 8:59
  this
• 8:59
  is
• 9:00
  at
• 9:00
  the
• 9:00
  center
• 9:01
  of
• 9:01
  how
• 9:01
  we
• 9:01
  take
• 9:02
  ourselves
• 9:02
  out
• 9:02
  of
• 9:03
  the
• 9:03
  problem
• 9:03
  and
• 9:03
  then
• 9:03
  can
• 9:04
  never
• 9:04
  address
• 9:04
  it.
• 9:05
  It's
• 9:05
  the
• 9:05
  nexus
• 9:06
  of
• 9:06
  it.
• 9:06
  We
• 9:06
  can
• 9:06
  be
• 9:07
  victimized
• 9:07
  without
• 9:08
  being
• 9:08
  the
• 9:08
  victim.
• 9:09
  And
• 9:09
  I
• 9:10
  think
• 9:10
  that's
• 9:10
  really
• 9:11
  a
• 9:11
  thing
• 9:11
  to
• 9:12
  keep
• 9:12
  in
• 9:12
  mind,
• 9:13
  that
• 9:13
  a
• 9:13
  person
• 9:14
  can
• 9:14
  victimize
• 9:15
  us
• 9:15
  in
• 9:15
  a
• 9:15
  moment.
• 9:16
  There
• 9:16
  is
• 9:16
  a
• 9:16
  moment
• 9:17
  or
• 9:17
  a
• 9:17
  series
• 9:17
  of
• 9:18
  moments
• 9:18
  where
• 9:19
  we
• 9:19
  can
• 9:19
  be
• 9:19
  victimized.
• 9:20
  But
• 9:21
  victim
• 9:21
  is
• 9:22
  a
• 9:22
  position
• 9:23
  where
• 9:23
  you
• 9:23
  feel
• 9:24
  power
• 9:25
  to
• 9:25
  do
• 9:25
  anything.
• 9:26
  And
• 9:26
  I
• 9:26
  used
• 9:26
  to
• 9:27
  say
• 9:27
  this
• 9:27
  to
• 9:27
  my
• 9:27
  kids,
• 9:27
  and
• 9:28
  they
• 9:28
  could
• 9:28
  tell
• 9:28
  you,
• 9:28
  they
• 9:29
  would
• 9:29
  get
• 9:29
  really
• 9:30
  irritated
• 9:30
  with
• 9:30
  me
• 9:31
  because
• 9:31
  I
• 9:31
  would
• 9:31
  say,
• 9:32
  you
• 9:32
  always
• 9:32
  have
• 9:32
  a
• 9:33
  choice.
• 9:33
  And
• 9:33
  they'd
• 9:33
  say,
• 9:34
  well,
• 9:34
  not
• 9:34
  if
• 9:34
  someone
• 9:34
  has
• 9:34
  a
• 9:35
  gun
• 9:35
  to
• 9:35
  your
• 9:35
  head.
• 9:35
  I
• 9:35
  say,
• 9:36
  I
• 9:36
  didn't
• 9:36
  say
• 9:36
  they
• 9:37
  were
• 9:37
  good
• 9:37
  choices.
• 9:37
  I
• 9:38
  said
• 9:38
  there
• 9:38
  were
• 9:38
  choices,
• 9:39
  that
• 9:39
  there
• 9:39
  is
• 9:39
  always
• 9:40
  a
• 9:40
  choice.
• 9:41
  And
• 9:41
  so
• 9:41
  often
• 9:42
  we
• 9:42
  put
• 9:43
  the
• 9:43
  ownership
• 9:43
  of
• 9:44
  all
• 9:44
  the
• 9:44
  choices
• 9:45
  to
• 9:45
  the
• 9:45
  people
• 9:45
  who
• 9:46
  are
• 9:46
  holding
• 9:46
  more
• 9:47
  of
• 9:47
  the
• 9:47
  power
• 9:48
  without
• 9:48
  respecting
• 9:49
  where
• 9:49
  we
• 9:49
  have
• 9:50
  the
• 9:50
  power.
• 9:51
  I
• 9:51
  think
• 9:52
  deep
• 9:52
  and
• 9:52
  meaningful
• 9:53
  messages
• 9:53
  in
• 9:53
  all
• 9:53
  of
• 9:54
  the
• 9:54
  lessons
• 9:54
  that
• 9:54
  I
• 9:54
  teach
• 9:55
  and
• 9:55
  for
• 9:55
  those
• 9:56
  who
• 9:56
  have
• 9:56
  done
• 9:56
  any
• 9:56
  digging
• 9:57
  to
• 9:57
  find
• 9:57
  out
• 9:57
  what
• 9:57
  my
• 9:58
  background
• 9:59
  is
• 9:59
  and
• 9:59
  my
• 9:59
  family
• 10:00
  history,
• 10:00
  have
• 10:00
  a
• 10:01
  sense
• 10:01
  of
• 10:01
  where
• 10:01
  some
• 10:01
  of
• 10:01
  those
• 10:02
  things
• 10:02
  come
• 10:02
  from.
• 10:03
  And
• 10:03
  it
• 10:03
  comes
• 10:04
  from
• 10:04
  this
• 10:04
  idea
• 10:04
  that
• 10:05
  all
• 10:05
  of
• 10:06
  the
• 10:06
  pain
• 10:07
  I
• 10:07
  have
• 10:07
  experienced
• 10:08
  in
• 10:08
  my
• 10:08
  life,
• 10:08
  I
• 10:08
  can
• 10:09
  boil
• 10:09
  it
• 10:09
  down
• 10:09
  to
• 10:09
  one
• 10:10
  thing.
• 10:10
  People
• 10:11
  either
• 10:11
  giving
• 10:11
  away
• 10:12
  power
• 10:13
  that
• 10:13
  was
• 10:13
  theirs
• 10:14
  or
• 10:14
  trying
• 10:14
  to
• 10:14
  take
• 10:15
  power
• 10:15
  that
• 10:15
  wasn't.
• 10:16
  And
• 10:17
  so
• 10:17
  this
• 10:17
  victim
• 10:17
  mentality
• 10:18
  for
• 10:18
  me
• 10:19
  is
• 10:19
  this
• 10:19
  idea
• 10:20
  that
• 10:20
  I'm
• 10:21
  going
• 10:21
  to
• 10:21
  hand
• 10:21
  over
• 10:22
  my
• 10:22
  power,
• 10:22
  my
• 10:23
  agency,
• 10:23
  my
• 10:23
  authority,
• 10:24
  to
• 10:25
  a
• 10:25
  story
• 10:26
  about
• 10:26
  how
• 10:27
  someone
• 10:27
  else
• 10:27
  has
• 10:27
  done
• 10:28
  something
• 10:28
  to
• 10:28
  me,
• 10:29
  which
• 10:29
  may
• 10:29
  be
• 10:30
  accurate,
• 10:30
  but
• 10:31
  it's
• 10:31
  not
• 10:31
  the
• 10:31
  end
• 10:31
  of
• 10:31
  the
• 10:31
  story.
• 10:33
  There's
• 10:33
  still
• 10:34
  choice
• 10:34
  within
• 10:34
  that.
• 10:35
  There's
• 10:35
  still
• 10:35
  the
• 10:36
  ability
• 10:36
  to
• 10:36
  exercise
• 10:38
  agency
• 10:38
  choice
• 10:39
  in
• 10:40
  that
• 10:40
  by
• 10:41
  saying
• 10:41
  something,
• 10:42
  by
• 10:42
  shifting
• 10:43
  my
• 10:43
  behavior,
• 10:44
  by
• 10:44
  calling
• 10:45
  out
• 10:45
  a
• 10:45
  behavior,
• 10:46
  by
• 10:46
  creating
• 10:46
  a
• 10:47
  boundary.
• 10:47
  Like,
• 10:47
  there
• 10:47
  are
• 10:48
  so
• 10:48
  many
• 10:48
  things.
• 10:48
  And
• 10:49
  that's
• 10:49
  what
• 10:49
  unflappable
• 10:50
  really
• 10:50
  is,
• 10:51
  is
• 10:51
  about
• 10:52
  taking
• 10:52
  back
• 10:53
  your
• 10:53
  power
• 10:54
  so
• 10:54
  that
• 10:54
  you
• 10:54
  aren't
• 10:55
  flapping
• 10:56
  in
• 10:56
  the
• 10:56
  wind
• 10:57
  at
• 10:57
  the
• 10:57
  gusts
• 10:58
  of
• 10:58
  others.
• 10:59
  Like,
• 10:59
  that's
• 11:00
  what
• 11:00
  happens.
• 11:01
  And
• 11:01
  the
• 11:01
  more
• 11:01
  that
• 11:01
  we
• 11:02
  do
• 11:02
  that,
• 11:03
  the
• 11:03
  more
• 11:03
  that
• 11:04
  we
• 11:04
  compromise
• 11:05
  our
• 11:05
  organization's
• 11:06
  success,
• 11:07
  health,
• 11:07
  happiness,
• 11:08
  all
• 11:08
  of
• 11:09
  it.
• 11:10
  So,
• 11:11
  Dr.
• 11:11
  B,
• 11:12
  would
• 11:12
  you
• 11:12
  be
• 11:12
  willing
• 11:12
  to
• 11:13
  tell
• 11:13
  us
• 11:13
  about
• 11:13
  your
• 11:13
  personal
• 11:14
  story
• 11:15
  and
• 11:16
  your.
• 11:16
  And
• 11:16
  the.
• 11:16
  And
• 11:17
  sort
• 11:17
  of
• 11:17
  the.
• 11:18
  You
• 11:18
  know,
• 11:18
  because
• 11:18
  I
• 11:18
  think
• 11:20
  we
• 11:20
  like
• 11:20
  to
• 11:20
  say
• 11:21
  that
• 11:21
  all
• 11:21
  these
• 11:21
  tools
• 11:22
  will
• 11:22
  work
• 11:22
  except
• 11:23
  for
• 11:23
  our
• 11:24
  situation.
• 11:24
  Right?
• 11:25
  But
• 11:26
  this
• 11:26
  one
• 11:26
  is
• 11:27
  really
• 11:27
  bad.
• 11:27
  And
• 11:28
  it's
• 11:28
  like,
• 11:28
  you
• 11:28
  know,
• 11:29
  and.
• 11:29
  And
• 11:29
  I
• 11:29
  can't
• 11:30
  feel.
• 11:30
  I
• 11:30
  can't.
• 11:31
  I
• 11:31
  can't
• 11:31
  navigate
• 11:32
  anything.
• 11:32
  There's
• 11:33
  no
• 11:33
  choice
• 11:34
  in
• 11:34
  Any
• 11:34
  of
• 11:34
  it.
• 11:34
  Right,
• 11:35
  right.
• 11:35
  And
• 11:36
  so
• 11:36
  I,
• 11:36
  I,
• 11:37
  I
• 11:37
  would
• 11:37
  love
• 11:38
  for
• 11:38
  you
• 11:38
  to
• 11:38
  share
• 11:39
  your
• 11:39
  story
• 11:39
  because
• 11:40
  even
• 11:40
  in
• 11:40
  this
• 11:41
  situation,
• 11:42
  you
• 11:43
  can
• 11:43
  learn
• 11:43
  to
• 11:44
  be
• 11:44
  inflappable.
• 11:45
  Yeah,
• 11:45
  absolutely.
• 11:46
  Go
• 11:47
  ahead.
• 11:47
  Yeah,
• 11:48
  there's
• 11:48
  so
• 11:48
  much.
• 11:48
  Right.
• 11:48
  It's
• 11:49
  like,
• 11:49
  where's
• 11:49
  a
• 11:49
  Reader's
• 11:50
  Digest
• 11:50
  version
• 11:50
  of
• 11:51
  a
• 11:51
  life?
• 11:51
  I
• 11:51
  wrote
• 11:52
  Little
• 11:52
  Landslides,
• 11:52
  which
• 11:53
  was
• 11:53
  my
• 11:53
  fifth
• 11:53
  book,
• 11:53
  and
• 11:54
  it
• 11:54
  is
• 11:54
  about
• 11:54
  my
• 11:55
  story.
• 11:55
  Even
• 11:56
  then
• 11:56
  I
• 11:56
  put
• 11:56
  a
• 11:56
  container
• 11:57
  around
• 11:57
  it
• 11:57
  of
• 11:58
  the
• 11:58
  first
• 11:58
  18
• 11:58
  years.
• 12:00
  As
• 12:00
  a
• 12:00
  story
• 12:01
  happens,
• 12:01
  your
• 12:01
  first
• 12:02
  18
• 12:02
  years,
• 12:03
  you
• 12:03
  have
• 12:03
  call
• 12:04
  forwards
• 12:04
  and
• 12:04
  flashbacks
• 12:05
  throughout
• 12:05
  that
• 12:06
  subsequent
• 12:07
  journey
• 12:07
  because
• 12:07
  you
• 12:07
  end
• 12:08
  up
• 12:08
  in
• 12:08
  some
• 12:08
  of
• 12:08
  the
• 12:08
  similar
• 12:09
  places
• 12:09
  and
• 12:09
  you're
• 12:09
  like,
• 12:10
  can
• 12:10
  I
• 12:10
  learn
• 12:10
  this
• 12:10
  lesson
• 12:11
  faster
• 12:11
  and
• 12:11
  stay
• 12:12
  here
• 12:12
  less
• 12:12
  time?
• 12:13
  You
• 12:13
  know,
• 12:14
  because
• 12:14
  I
• 12:14
  keep
• 12:14
  returning
• 12:15
  to
• 12:15
  this,
• 12:15
  but
• 12:16
  like,
• 12:16
  hey,
• 12:16
  Bessie,
• 12:16
  Bestie,
• 12:17
  I'm
• 12:17
  back.
• 12:18
  Yeah,
• 12:18
  I'm
• 12:18
  gonna
• 12:18
  try
• 12:18
  to
• 12:18
  do
• 12:19
  it
• 12:19
  a
• 12:19
  little
• 12:19
  differently
• 12:19
  this
• 12:20
  time.
• 12:20
  You
• 12:20
  know,
• 12:20
  I
• 12:21
  think
• 12:21
  my
• 12:21
  story
• 12:22
  begins
• 12:23
  in.
• 12:23
  And
• 12:23
  I
• 12:24
  had
• 12:24
  a
• 12:24
  TED
• 12:24
  talk
• 12:24
  about
• 12:24
  it
• 12:25
  as
• 12:25
  well.
• 12:26
  I
• 12:26
  was
• 12:27
  born
• 12:27
  into
• 12:27
  a
• 12:28
  domestic
• 12:28
  violence
• 12:29
  situation
• 12:30
  with
• 12:30
  drug
• 12:30
  addiction
• 12:31
  and
• 12:31
  abuse
• 12:32
  and
• 12:32
  crime
• 12:33
  and
• 12:34
  was
• 12:35
  part
• 12:35
  of
• 12:35
  that.
• 12:35
  Right.
• 12:36
  Became
• 12:37
  bystander,
• 12:37
  a
• 12:38
  victim
• 12:38
  of
• 12:38
  that
• 12:39
  throughout.
• 12:40
  It
• 12:40
  wasn't
• 12:41
  until
• 12:41
  I
• 12:41
  got
• 12:42
  into
• 12:42
  college
• 12:43
  that
• 12:43
  and
• 12:44
  I
• 12:44
  went
• 12:44
  in
• 12:44
  and
• 12:44
  I
• 12:44
  went
• 12:44
  to
• 12:44
  my
• 12:45
  own
• 12:45
  therapy
• 12:45
  because
• 12:46
  again,
• 12:46
  I
• 12:46
  think
• 12:47
  that
• 12:47
  whole
• 12:48
  journey
• 12:48
  from
• 12:48
  that
• 12:49
  point
• 12:49
  you
• 12:49
  can
• 12:49
  imagine
• 12:50
  that
• 12:51
  I
• 12:51
  put
• 12:51
  myself
• 12:52
  in
• 12:52
  and
• 12:52
  I
• 12:52
  was
• 12:52
  put
• 12:53
  in
• 12:53
  so
• 12:54
  many
• 12:54
  subsequent
• 12:55
  compromising
• 12:55
  situations
• 12:56
  where
• 12:56
  I
• 12:56
  was
• 12:57
  able
• 12:57
  to
• 12:57
  be
• 12:57
  abused
• 12:57
  again
• 12:58
  and
• 12:58
  again
• 12:59
  because
• 12:59
  I
• 12:59
  didn't
• 13:00
  have
• 13:00
  any
• 13:00
  sense
• 13:00
  of
• 13:00
  myself
• 13:01
  that
• 13:01
  there
• 13:01
  was
• 13:01
  anything
• 13:02
  other
• 13:02
  than
• 13:02
  what
• 13:02
  I
• 13:02
  had
• 13:03
  experienced.
• 13:03
  I
• 13:04
  had
• 13:04
  two
• 13:04
  mentally
• 13:05
  ill
• 13:06
  addicted
• 13:06
  parents
• 13:07
  who
• 13:08
  were
• 13:09
  depressed
• 13:09
  and
• 13:10
  anxious
• 13:11
  and
• 13:11
  not
• 13:12
  treated.
• 13:13
  I
• 13:13
  was
• 13:13
  just
• 13:13
  talking
• 13:13
  with
• 13:14
  a
• 13:14
  colleague
• 13:14
  about
• 13:14
  it
• 13:14
  this
• 13:15
  morning.
• 13:16
  When
• 13:16
  you're
• 13:16
  in
• 13:16
  a
• 13:16
  situation
• 13:17
  like
• 13:17
  that,
• 13:17
  when
• 13:18
  you're
• 13:18
  raised,
• 13:19
  as
• 13:19
  I
• 13:19
  call
• 13:19
  it,
• 13:19
  raised
• 13:20
  by
• 13:20
  wolves,
• 13:21
  when
• 13:21
  you're
• 13:21
  in
• 13:21
  that
• 13:21
  situation,
• 13:22
  what
• 13:22
  you
• 13:22
  believe,
• 13:23
  you
• 13:23
  have
• 13:23
  to
• 13:24
  believe
• 13:24
  one
• 13:24
  of
• 13:24
  two
• 13:24
  things.
• 13:25
  Either
• 13:26
  you
• 13:27
  are
• 13:27
  the
• 13:27
  one
• 13:27
  that
• 13:27
  is
• 13:28
  crazy
• 13:28
  or
• 13:29
  they
• 13:30
  are
• 13:30
  the
• 13:30
  ones
• 13:30
  that
• 13:30
  are
• 13:31
  crazy.
• 13:31
  And
• 13:32
  the
• 13:32
  problem
• 13:32
  with
• 13:32
  the
• 13:32
  second
• 13:33
  one
• 13:33
  is
• 13:34
  that
• 13:34
  then
• 13:34
  you
• 13:34
  feel
• 13:35
  unsafe
• 13:36
  because
• 13:36
  not
• 13:37
  only
• 13:37
  are
• 13:37
  they
• 13:38
  crazy,
• 13:38
  but
• 13:38
  then
• 13:39
  you
• 13:39
  can't
• 13:39
  trust
• 13:39
  them
• 13:40
  to
• 13:40
  do
• 13:40
  the
• 13:40
  right
• 13:41
  thing.
• 13:41
  So
• 13:42
  the
• 13:42
  one
• 13:42
  that
• 13:42
  preserves
• 13:43
  your
• 13:43
  safety,
• 13:44
  when
• 13:44
  we
• 13:44
  talk
• 13:44
  about
• 13:45
  efficiency,
• 13:46
  the
• 13:46
  one
• 13:46
  that
• 13:46
  preserves
• 13:47
  your
• 13:47
  safety
• 13:48
  is
• 13:48
  the
• 13:48
  one
• 13:48
  that
• 13:49
  believes
• 13:49
  that
• 13:49
  you're
• 13:50
  crazy.
• 13:50
  And
• 13:51
  so
• 13:51
  there's
• 13:51
  this
• 13:52
  self
• 13:52
  abandonment
• 13:53
  that
• 13:53
  happens
• 13:54
  when
• 13:54
  you're
• 13:54
  in
• 13:54
  a
• 13:55
  situation
• 13:55
  like
• 13:55
  that
• 13:56
  that
• 13:56
  then
• 13:56
  creates
• 13:57
  all
• 13:57
  sorts
• 13:57
  of
• 13:58
  tendrils
• 13:58
  that
• 13:58
  I
• 13:59
  think
• 13:59
  carry
• 13:59
  forward.
• 14:00
  It
• 14:00
  was
• 14:00
  really
• 14:01
  in
• 14:01
  unpacking
• 14:02
  that
• 14:02
  when
• 14:02
  I
• 14:02
  got
• 14:02
  to
• 14:02
  be
• 14:03
  18
• 14:03
  and
• 14:03
  I
• 14:03
  went
• 14:03
  into
• 14:04
  a
• 14:04
  therapist
• 14:04
  and
• 14:04
  I
• 14:04
  was
• 14:05
  like,
• 14:05
  okay,
• 14:05
  we're
• 14:06
  done.
• 14:06
  I
• 14:06
  can't
• 14:06
  do
• 14:06
  this
• 14:07
  anymore.
• 14:07
  I
• 14:07
  got
• 14:07
  to
• 14:07
  figure
• 14:08
  this
• 14:08
  out.
• 14:08
  Because
• 14:08
  this
• 14:08
  isn't
• 14:09
  working
• 14:09
  for
• 14:09
  me
• 14:09
  anymore.
• 14:10
  It
• 14:10
  was
• 14:11
  in
• 14:11
  realizing
• 14:12
  that
• 14:13
  I
• 14:13
  had
• 14:14
  created
• 14:14
  a
• 14:14
  sense
• 14:15
  of
• 14:15
  my
• 14:15
  own
• 14:15
  crazy
• 14:16
  in
• 14:16
  order
• 14:16
  to
• 14:17
  survive
• 14:17
  it.
• 14:18
  And
• 14:18
  then
• 14:19
  I
• 14:19
  started
• 14:19
  realizing
• 14:20
  how
• 14:20
  those
• 14:20
  coping
• 14:21
  skills
• 14:21
  and
• 14:21
  healing
• 14:22
  mechanisms,
• 14:22
  like
• 14:23
  all
• 14:23
  of
• 14:23
  these
• 14:23
  tools,
• 14:24
  came
• 14:24
  hard
• 14:24
  won
• 14:25
  through
• 14:25
  my
• 14:26
  own
• 14:26
  journey,
• 14:26
  through
• 14:27
  my
• 14:27
  clients
• 14:27
  journeys,
• 14:28
  through
• 14:28
  listening
• 14:29
  really
• 14:29
  intently
• 14:29
  and
• 14:30
  deeply
• 14:30
  to
• 14:31
  the
• 14:31
  pain
• 14:31
  underneath
• 14:32
  the
• 14:32
  problem
• 14:33
  and
• 14:33
  then
• 14:33
  being
• 14:33
  able
• 14:34
  to
• 14:34
  find
• 14:34
  a
• 14:34
  solution.
• 14:35
  Because
• 14:36
  I
• 14:36
  think
• 14:36
  the
• 14:36
  gift
• 14:37
  that
• 14:37
  I
• 14:37
  was
• 14:37
  given
• 14:37
  by
• 14:37
  my
• 14:38
  parents
• 14:39
  was
• 14:39
  an
• 14:39
  internal
• 14:40
  drive
• 14:41
  to
• 14:41
  solve
• 14:42
  problems,
• 14:43
  to
• 14:43
  solve
• 14:44
  pain,
• 14:44
  because
• 14:45
  in
• 14:46
  their
• 14:46
  own
• 14:47
  pain,
• 14:47
  they
• 14:48
  handed
• 14:48
  their
• 14:48
  pain
• 14:48
  to
• 14:49
  other
• 14:49
  people.
• 14:49
  And
• 14:50
  so
• 14:50
  the
• 14:50
  only
• 14:50
  way
• 14:50
  to
• 14:50
  reduce
• 14:51
  it
• 14:51
  is
• 14:51
  to
• 14:51
  have
• 14:52
  people
• 14:52
  heal
• 14:52
  from
• 14:53
  the
• 14:53
  things
• 14:53
  that
• 14:53
  have
• 14:53
  hurt
• 14:54
  them.
• 14:54
  So,
• 14:54
  you
• 14:55
  know,
• 14:55
  that's
• 14:55
  kind
• 14:55
  of
• 14:56
  the
• 14:56
  short
• 14:56
  story.
• 14:56
  There's
• 14:57
  obviously
• 14:57
  so
• 14:57
  much
• 14:58
  more
• 14:58
  to
• 14:58
  it
• 14:59
  that
• 14:59
  really,
• 14:59
  I
• 14:59
  think
• 15:00
  condenses
• 15:01
  why
• 15:01
  I'm
• 15:01
  on
• 15:01
  the
• 15:02
  journey,
• 15:02
  my
• 15:02
  purpose,
• 15:03
  my
• 15:04
  reason
• 15:04
  for
• 15:04
  doing
• 15:05
  what
• 15:05
  it
• 15:05
  is
• 15:05
  that
• 15:05
  I
• 15:05
  do.
• 15:06
  And
• 15:08
  it
• 15:08
  makes
• 15:08
  me
• 15:08
  think
• 15:09
  of
• 15:09
  being
• 15:09
  an
• 15:10
  alchemist
• 15:11
  almost,
• 15:11
  right?
• 15:12
  This
• 15:12
  idea
• 15:13
  of
• 15:13
  taking
• 15:13
  whatever
• 15:14
  is
• 15:14
  in
• 15:15
  life
• 15:15
  and
• 15:15
  transforming
• 15:16
  it
• 15:16
  into
• 15:17
  something
• 15:17
  richer,
• 15:18
  better.
• 15:19
  And
• 15:19
  what
• 15:19
  you're
• 15:20
  talking
• 15:20
  about
• 15:20
  here
• 15:20
  is
• 15:20
  how
• 15:21
  you've
• 15:21
  taken
• 15:21
  your
• 15:21
  power
• 15:22
  back
• 15:23
  in
• 15:23
  all
• 15:24
  the
• 15:24
  ways
• 15:24
  you
• 15:24
  talk
• 15:24
  about
• 15:25
  in
• 15:25
  your
• 15:25
  book,
• 15:25
  right?
• 15:26
  You've
• 15:26
  decided
• 15:27
  how
• 15:27
  you're
• 15:27
  going
• 15:28
  to
• 15:28
  think
• 15:29
  about
• 15:29
  this
• 15:29
  and
• 15:29
  how
• 15:30
  you're
• 15:30
  going
• 15:30
  to
• 15:31
  choose
• 15:31
  to
• 15:32
  live
• 15:32
  as
• 15:32
  a
• 15:32
  result
• 15:33
  of
• 15:33
  it,
• 15:33
  and.
• 15:34
  And
• 15:35
  so
• 15:35
  give
• 15:36
  that
• 15:36
  to
• 15:36
  other
• 15:36
  people.
• 15:37
  I
• 15:37
  mean,
• 15:37
  that's
• 15:37
  my
• 15:37
  point
• 15:38
  is
• 15:38
  like,
• 15:38
  I
• 15:38
  want
• 15:38
  to
• 15:39
  give
• 15:39
  these
• 15:39
  tools.
• 15:39
  Somebody
• 15:39
  asked
• 15:40
  me
• 15:40
  this
• 15:40
  morning,
• 15:40
  how
• 15:40
  can
• 15:41
  I
• 15:41
  support
• 15:41
  you?
• 15:41
  I'm
• 15:41
  like,
• 15:42
  hand
• 15:43
  my
• 15:43
  book
• 15:43
  and
• 15:43
  my
• 15:44
  tools
• 15:44
  to
• 15:44
  everyone,
• 15:44
  because
• 15:45
  if
• 15:45
  the
• 15:45
  world
• 15:46
  is
• 15:46
  better,
• 15:47
  it's
• 15:47
  better.
• 15:47
  That's
• 15:48
  what
• 15:48
  I
• 15:48
  want,
• 15:49
  you
• 15:49
  know,
• 15:49
  And
• 15:49
  I
• 15:49
  think
• 15:49
  there's
• 15:50
  this
• 15:50
  quest
• 15:51
  that
• 15:51
  I
• 15:51
  have
• 15:51
  because
• 15:52
  I
• 15:52
  could
• 15:52
  never
• 15:53
  heal
• 15:53
  my
• 15:53
  parents
• 15:54
  and
• 15:55
  if
• 15:55
  that
• 15:55
  story
• 15:55
  ended
• 15:56
  differently.
• 15:56
  But
• 15:56
  I
• 15:57
  can
• 15:57
  help
• 15:57
  heal
• 15:57
  their
• 15:58
  people.
• 15:58
  I
• 15:59
  can
• 15:59
  help
• 15:59
  other
• 16:00
  people
• 16:00
  lighten
• 16:00
  their
• 16:01
  load.
• 16:01
  I
• 16:01
  can
• 16:02
  help
• 16:02
  other
• 16:03
  people
• 16:03
  put
• 16:03
  down
• 16:03
  some
• 16:04
  of
• 16:04
  the
• 16:04
  frustration
• 16:04
  and
• 16:05
  anger
• 16:05
  and
• 16:06
  things
• 16:06
  that
• 16:06
  are
• 16:06
  happening
• 16:07
  at
• 16:07
  work
• 16:07
  that
• 16:07
  replicate
• 16:08
  things
• 16:08
  in
• 16:08
  their
• 16:08
  personal
• 16:09
  lives.
• 16:09
  Like
• 16:09
  all
• 16:09
  of
• 16:10
  those
• 16:10
  journeys,
• 16:10
  taking
• 16:11
  things
• 16:11
  personally,
• 16:12
  being
• 16:12
  defensive,
• 16:13
  enclosing
• 16:14
  when
• 16:14
  they
• 16:14
  need
• 16:14
  to
• 16:15
  be
• 16:15
  connecting.
• 16:15
  All
• 16:15
  of
• 16:16
  those
• 16:16
  things
• 16:16
  are
• 16:17
  human
• 16:17
  journeys
• 16:18
  that
• 16:18
  are
• 16:18
  happening
• 16:19
  in
• 16:19
  and
• 16:19
  out
• 16:19
  of
• 16:19
  the
• 16:19
  workplace.
• 16:20
  And
• 16:21
  we
• 16:21
  spend
• 16:21
  most
• 16:21
  of
• 16:22
  our
• 16:22
  lives
• 16:23
  at
• 16:23
  work,
• 16:24
  in
• 16:24
  work,
• 16:25
  toward
• 16:25
  work,
• 16:26
  from
• 16:26
  work,
• 16:26
  with
• 16:27
  work,
• 16:27
  taking
• 16:27
  it
• 16:28
  home.
• 16:28
  And
• 16:29
  I
• 16:29
  want
• 16:29
  to
• 16:29
  alleviate
• 16:30
  the
• 16:31
  frustration
• 16:32
  and
• 16:32
  the
• 16:32
  stress
• 16:33
  that
• 16:33
  comes
• 16:34
  from
• 16:34
  that
• 16:34
  by
• 16:35
  being
• 16:35
  able
• 16:35
  to
• 16:35
  see
• 16:35
  what
• 16:36
  we
• 16:36
  can
• 16:36
  control
• 16:37
  and
• 16:37
  what
• 16:37
  we
• 16:37
  can't.
• 16:38
  Stress
• 16:38
  really
• 16:38
  is
• 16:38
  just
• 16:38
  the
• 16:39
  difference
• 16:39
  between
• 16:39
  what
• 16:40
  we're
• 16:40
  trying
• 16:40
  to
• 16:40
  control
• 16:41
  and
• 16:41
  what
• 16:42
  we
• 16:42
  can
• 16:42
  actually
• 16:42
  control.
• 16:43
  The
• 16:43
  more
• 16:43
  we
• 16:44
  focus
• 16:44
  on
• 16:44
  the
• 16:44
  things
• 16:44
  that
• 16:44
  we
• 16:45
  can't,
• 16:45
  the
• 16:45
  more
• 16:45
  stress
• 16:46
  we
• 16:46
  feel,
• 16:46
  the
• 16:46
  less
• 16:46
  we
• 16:47
  put
• 16:47
  ourselves
• 16:47
  in
• 16:47
  positions
• 16:48
  to
• 16:48
  control
• 16:48
  the
• 16:48
  things
• 16:49
  that
• 16:49
  we
• 16:49
  can,
• 16:49
  the
• 16:50
  more
• 16:50
  stress
• 16:50
  that
• 16:50
  we
• 16:50
  feel.
• 16:51
  So
• 16:51
  when
• 16:52
  we
• 16:52
  can
• 16:52
  get
• 16:53
  to
• 16:53
  that
• 16:53
  point
• 16:53
  of
• 16:53
  accepting
• 16:54
  things
• 16:54
  exactly
• 16:54
  as
• 16:55
  they
• 16:55
  are,
• 16:55
  and
• 16:55
  as
• 16:55
  they
• 16:55
  present
• 16:56
  themselves
• 16:56
  to
• 16:57
  us,
• 16:57
  we
• 16:57
  can
• 16:58
  feel
• 16:58
  less
• 16:58
  stress
• 16:59
  and
• 16:59
  we
• 16:59
  can
• 16:59
  focus
• 16:59
  our
• 17:00
  energy
• 17:00
  into
• 17:01
  resolving
• 17:02
  those
• 17:02
  things
• 17:02
  that
• 17:02
  are
• 17:03
  to
• 17:03
  us
• 17:04
  to
• 17:04
  resolve.
• 17:05
  Right.
• 17:06
  And
• 17:06
  you,
• 17:06
  you
• 17:07
  talk
• 17:07
  about
• 17:07
  this
• 17:08
  in
• 17:08
  the
• 17:08
  book,
• 17:09
  you
• 17:09
  have
• 17:09
  a
• 17:09
  section
• 17:10
  on
• 17:10
  stress
• 17:11
  busters.
• 17:12
  Yep.
• 17:12
  And
• 17:13
  I
• 17:13
  love
• 17:13
  the
• 17:13
  way
• 17:13
  you
• 17:14
  put
• 17:14
  this.
• 17:14
  Stress
• 17:15
  is
• 17:15
  a
• 17:15
  mathematical
• 17:17
  equation.
• 17:18
  It's
• 17:18
  what
• 17:19
  you
• 17:19
  seek
• 17:19
  to
• 17:20
  control
• 17:21
  minus
• 17:22
  what
• 17:22
  you
• 17:23
  can
• 17:23
  actually
• 17:24
  control.
• 17:25
  And
• 17:25
  then
• 17:25
  you
• 17:25
  go
• 17:25
  on
• 17:26
  to
• 17:26
  say,
• 17:26
  and
• 17:26
  I
• 17:26
  think
• 17:27
  this
• 17:27
  is
• 17:27
  the,
• 17:27
  this
• 17:27
  is
• 17:28
  so
• 17:28
  powerful
• 17:29
  because
• 17:29
  like
• 17:30
  you
• 17:30
  really
• 17:31
  can't
• 17:31
  control
• 17:31
  anything
• 17:31
  other
• 17:32
  than
• 17:32
  this.
• 17:33
  You
• 17:33
  only
• 17:33
  can
• 17:34
  control
• 17:34
  your
• 17:34
  thoughts,
• 17:35
  your
• 17:35
  feelings
• 17:35
  and
• 17:36
  your
• 17:36
  behaviors.
• 17:37
  So
• 17:38
  anything
• 17:38
  else
• 17:39
  that
• 17:39
  you're
• 17:39
  trying
• 17:39
  to
• 17:40
  control
• 17:41
  is
• 17:41
  what's
• 17:41
  causing
• 17:42
  you
• 17:42
  your
• 17:42
  stress.
• 17:43
  That's
• 17:44
  it.
• 17:44
  And
• 17:45
  I
• 17:45
  always
• 17:45
  get
• 17:45
  pushback
• 17:46
  on
• 17:46
  feelings
• 17:48
  and
• 17:48
  I
• 17:48
  get
• 17:48
  pushback
• 17:49
  sometimes
• 17:49
  on
• 17:49
  thoughts
• 17:50
  too.
• 17:50
  Like,
• 17:50
  but
• 17:50
  what
• 17:50
  about
• 17:50
  if
• 17:51
  I
• 17:51
  have
• 17:51
  a
• 17:51
  bad
• 17:51
  thought?
• 17:52
  So
• 17:53
  if
• 17:53
  you
• 17:54
  have
• 17:54
  an
• 17:54
  errant,
• 17:55
  intrusive
• 17:56
  thought,
• 17:57
  how
• 17:57
  long
• 17:57
  do
• 17:57
  you
• 17:58
  entertain
• 17:58
  it
• 17:59
  and
• 17:59
  how
• 17:59
  much
• 18:00
  do
• 18:00
  you
• 18:00
  challenge
• 18:00
  it?
• 18:00
  That's
• 18:01
  when
• 18:01
  I
• 18:01
  get
• 18:01
  into
• 18:01
  tools
• 18:02
  on
• 18:02
  cognitive
• 18:02
  distortions.
• 18:03
  My
• 18:03
  and
• 18:03
  or
• 18:04
  tool.
• 18:04
  All
• 18:04
  of
• 18:04
  these
• 18:04
  tools
• 18:05
  to
• 18:05
  say,
• 18:05
  okay,
• 18:06
  let's
• 18:06
  hit
• 18:06
  the
• 18:06
  thoughts
• 18:07
  first.
• 18:07
  Thoughts
• 18:08
  create
• 18:08
  feelings.
• 18:08
  That's
• 18:09
  a
• 18:09
  biochemical
• 18:09
  response.
• 18:10
  If
• 18:10
  you
• 18:10
  think
• 18:11
  a
• 18:11
  thing,
• 18:11
  even
• 18:11
  if
• 18:12
  you're
• 18:12
  not
• 18:12
  conscious
• 18:12
  of
• 18:12
  thinking
• 18:13
  a
• 18:13
  thing,
• 18:13
  you
• 18:14
  think
• 18:14
  a
• 18:14
  thing,
• 18:14
  you
• 18:15
  feel
• 18:15
  a
• 18:15
  thing.
• 18:15
  And
• 18:15
  we
• 18:16
  are
• 18:16
  self
• 18:16
  regulating
• 18:17
  systems.
• 18:18
  If
• 18:18
  you
• 18:18
  think
• 18:18
  a
• 18:18
  thing
• 18:18
  and
• 18:19
  then
• 18:19
  you
• 18:19
  feel
• 18:19
  a
• 18:19
  thing,
• 18:20
  the
• 18:20
  feeling
• 18:20
  goes,
• 18:21
  oh,
• 18:21
  I
• 18:22
  must
• 18:22
  have
• 18:22
  a
• 18:22
  reason
• 18:23
  for
• 18:23
  feeling
• 18:23
  this
• 18:23
  way.
• 18:24
  And
• 18:24
  then
• 18:24
  you
• 18:24
  think
• 18:24
  the
• 18:24
  thing
• 18:25
  that
• 18:25
  makes
• 18:25
  you
• 18:26
  feel
• 18:26
  the
• 18:26
  thing.
• 18:26
  So
• 18:26
  you
• 18:26
  just
• 18:27
  self
• 18:27
  regulate
• 18:27
  over
• 18:27
  and
• 18:28
  over
• 18:28
  again
• 18:28
  until
• 18:29
  you
• 18:29
  jump
• 18:30
  in
• 18:30
  there
• 18:30
  and
• 18:30
  go
• 18:31
  slap,
• 18:31
  snap,
• 18:32
  clap
• 18:33
  something
• 18:33
  to
• 18:34
  stop
• 18:34
  that
• 18:35
  sequence
• 18:35
  to
• 18:36
  say,
• 18:36
  hang
• 18:36
  on
• 18:37
  a
• 18:37
  second.
• 18:37
  What
• 18:38
  story
• 18:38
  am
• 18:38
  I
• 18:38
  telling?
• 18:39
  What
• 18:39
  truth
• 18:40
  am
• 18:40
  I
• 18:40
  accepting?
• 18:41
  What
• 18:41
  thought
• 18:42
  am
• 18:42
  I
• 18:42
  pinning
• 18:43
  this
• 18:43
  experience
• 18:44
  on?
• 18:44
  Because
• 18:45
  if
• 18:45
  I
• 18:45
  stop,
• 18:45
  if
• 18:45
  I
• 18:46
  disconnect
• 18:47
  the
• 18:47
  thought
• 18:47
  from
• 18:47
  the
• 18:47
  feeling,
• 18:48
  if
• 18:48
  I
• 18:48
  just
• 18:49
  find
• 18:49
  the
• 18:49
  feeling
• 18:49
  in
• 18:50
  my
• 18:50
  body
• 18:50
  and
• 18:51
  I
• 18:51
  feel
• 18:51
  the
• 18:52
  thing
• 18:52
  without
• 18:52
  reinforcing
• 18:53
  it
• 18:53
  with
• 18:53
  a
• 18:53
  confirming
• 18:54
  thought,
• 18:55
  that
• 18:55
  feeling
• 18:56
  goes
• 18:56
  away
• 18:57
  in
• 18:57
  about
• 18:57
  30
• 18:58
  seconds.
• 18:59
  Doesn't
• 19:00
  hold
• 19:00
  without
• 19:00
  the
• 19:01
  thought.
• 19:01
  So
• 19:01
  it's
• 19:02
  really
• 19:02
  about
• 19:02
  trying
• 19:03
  to
• 19:03
  pull
• 19:03
  the
• 19:03
  thoughts
• 19:03
  back
• 19:04
  and
• 19:04
  go,
• 19:04
  huh,
• 19:05
  what
• 19:05
  else
• 19:06
  might
• 19:06
  be
• 19:06
  happening
• 19:07
  here?
• 19:07
  What
• 19:07
  story
• 19:08
  am
• 19:08
  I
• 19:08
  telling?
• 19:08
  Is
• 19:08
  this
• 19:08
  an
• 19:09
  empowering
• 19:09
  story?
• 19:10
  Is
• 19:10
  this
• 19:10
  a
• 19:10
  disempowering
• 19:11
  story?
• 19:12
  Right,
• 19:13
  Totally.
• 19:14
  And
• 19:14
  so
• 19:14
  maybe
• 19:14
  you
• 19:15
  could
• 19:15
  illustrate
• 19:15
  this
• 19:16
  with,
• 19:16
  you
• 19:16
  know,
• 19:16
  like
• 19:17
  an
• 19:17
  actual
• 19:17
  example
• 19:18
  of
• 19:18
  a
• 19:18
  person
• 19:19
  in
• 19:19
  work
• 19:20
  circumstance.
• 19:20
  They
• 19:21
  have
• 19:21
  this
• 19:22
  thought
• 19:22
  that's
• 19:23
  triggering
• 19:24
  them
• 19:24
  and
• 19:25
  causing
• 19:25
  stress.
• 19:25
  What
• 19:25
  would
• 19:26
  be
• 19:26
  an
• 19:26
  example?
• 19:26
  Love
• 19:27
  it.
• 19:27
  So
• 19:27
  I'LL
• 19:27
  give
• 19:28
  you
• 19:28
  an
• 19:28
  example,
• 19:28
  because
• 19:29
  to
• 19:29
  not
• 19:29
  reveal
• 19:29
  a
• 19:29
  client
• 19:30
  story,
• 19:30
  I'll
• 19:30
  give
• 19:30
  you
• 19:30
  an
• 19:30
  example
• 19:31
  of
• 19:31
  my
• 19:31
  own
• 19:31
  where
• 19:32
  I
• 19:32
  put
• 19:32
  it
• 19:32
  to
• 19:32
  use.
• 19:33
  I
• 19:33
  was
• 19:33
  texting
• 19:33
  with
• 19:34
  a
• 19:34
  client
• 19:34
  and
• 19:34
  this
• 19:35
  client
• 19:35
  is
• 19:35
  known
• 19:36
  to
• 19:36
  be
• 19:37
  strong
• 19:37
  minded
• 19:38
  and
• 19:38
  strong
• 19:39
  in
• 19:40
  command.
• 19:41
  There
• 19:41
  has
• 19:41
  been
• 19:42
  in
• 19:42
  the
• 19:42
  past,
• 19:42
  the
• 19:43
  story
• 19:43
  that
• 19:43
  I've
• 19:43
  told
• 19:44
  is
• 19:44
  there
• 19:44
  has
• 19:44
  been
• 19:44
  in
• 19:45
  the
• 19:45
  past
• 19:45
  a
• 19:46
  VI
• 19:46
  for
• 19:46
  power,
• 19:47
  a
• 19:47
  vie
• 19:47
  for
• 19:48
  control.
• 19:48
  Like
• 19:48
  there's
• 19:49
  been
• 19:49
  not
• 19:49
  that
• 19:49
  struggle.
• 19:50
  And
• 19:50
  I
• 19:51
  get
• 19:51
  a
• 19:51
  text
• 19:52
  from
• 19:52
  him
• 19:52
  and
• 19:53
  it
• 19:53
  says
• 19:53
  a
• 19:53
  thing
• 19:54
  and
• 19:54
  I
• 19:55
  look
• 19:55
  at
• 19:55
  it
• 19:55
  and
• 19:55
  I
• 19:55
  go,
• 19:56
  I
• 19:56
  can't
• 19:57
  believe
• 19:57
  he
• 19:57
  said
• 19:58
  that.
• 19:58
  I
• 19:59
  show
• 19:59
  it
• 19:59
  to
• 19:59
  my
• 19:59
  boyfriend
• 20:00
  who's
• 20:00
  sitting
• 20:00
  next
• 20:00
  to
• 20:01
  me
• 20:01
  and
• 20:01
  he
• 20:01
  goes,
• 20:02
  say
• 20:03
  that
• 20:03
  again.
• 20:03
  And
• 20:03
  I
• 20:04
  read
• 20:04
  the
• 20:04
  text
• 20:05
  out
• 20:05
  loud.
• 20:05
  He
• 20:05
  said,
• 20:06
  if
• 20:06
  you
• 20:06
  stress
• 20:07
  that
• 20:08
  word
• 20:09
  and
• 20:09
  not
• 20:10
  that
• 20:10
  word,
• 20:11
  the
• 20:12
  meaning
• 20:12
  of
• 20:12
  that
• 20:12
  text
• 20:13
  completely
• 20:13
  changes.
• 20:14
  So
• 20:14
  then
• 20:15
  I
• 20:15
  used
• 20:15
  a
• 20:15
  tool
• 20:15
  that
• 20:16
  I
• 20:16
  use
• 20:16
  in
• 20:16
  the
• 20:16
  book,
• 20:16
  which
• 20:17
  is
• 20:17
  I
• 20:17
  got
• 20:17
  curious
• 20:18
  and
• 20:18
  I
• 20:18
  said,
• 20:18
  okay,
• 20:19
  so
• 20:19
  if
• 20:19
  I
• 20:19
  tell
• 20:19
  it
• 20:20
  this
• 20:20
  way,
• 20:20
  I'm
• 20:20
  going
• 20:20
  to
• 20:20
  snap
• 20:21
  and
• 20:21
  jump
• 20:21
  down
• 20:21
  his
• 20:22
  throat,
• 20:22
  right?
• 20:22
  At
• 20:22
  least
• 20:22
  in
• 20:23
  my
• 20:23
  head,
• 20:23
  if
• 20:23
  not
• 20:23
  in
• 20:24
  practice,
• 20:24
  you
• 20:24
  know,
• 20:24
  but
• 20:25
  I'm
• 20:25
  going
• 20:25
  to
• 20:25
  defend
• 20:25
  myself.
• 20:26
  I'm
• 20:26
  going
• 20:26
  to,
• 20:27
  you
• 20:27
  know,
• 20:27
  be
• 20:28
  a
• 20:28
  proponent
• 20:28
  of
• 20:28
  my
• 20:29
  position.
• 20:29
  But
• 20:30
  if
• 20:30
  I
• 20:30
  read
• 20:30
  it
• 20:30
  the
• 20:30
  other
• 20:31
  way,
• 20:31
  I'm
• 20:31
  just
• 20:32
  going
• 20:32
  to
• 20:33
  move
• 20:33
  forward
• 20:34
  with
• 20:34
  what
• 20:34
  we
• 20:34
  were
• 20:34
  doing.
• 20:35
  So
• 20:35
  I
• 20:35
  asked
• 20:36
  him
• 20:36
  a
• 20:36
  clarifying
• 20:37
  question
• 20:38
  that
• 20:38
  would
• 20:38
  give
• 20:38
  me
• 20:39
  the
• 20:39
  indication
• 20:39
  as
• 20:39
  to
• 20:40
  whether
• 20:40
  or
• 20:40
  not
• 20:40
  he
• 20:40
  was
• 20:40
  coming
• 20:41
  at
• 20:41
  me
• 20:41
  hostilely
• 20:42
  or
• 20:42
  gently.
• 20:43
  And
• 20:43
  it
• 20:43
  turns
• 20:44
  out
• 20:44
  he
• 20:44
  was
• 20:44
  coming
• 20:45
  at
• 20:45
  me
• 20:45
  gently.
• 20:46
  It
• 20:46
  was
• 20:46
  just
• 20:46
  the
• 20:46
  way
• 20:46
  I
• 20:47
  was
• 20:47
  reading
• 20:47
  the
• 20:47
  text
• 20:47
  with
• 20:48
  my
• 20:48
  preconceived
• 20:49
  notion
• 20:49
  about
• 20:50
  what
• 20:50
  he
• 20:50
  was
• 20:50
  capable
• 20:51
  of.
• 20:51
  Now,
• 20:52
  that
• 20:52
  does
• 20:52
  not
• 20:52
  mean
• 20:52
  he
• 20:53
  wasn't
• 20:53
  capable
• 20:53
  of
• 20:54
  what
• 20:54
  I
• 20:54
  said
• 20:55
  he
• 20:55
  was
• 20:55
  capable
• 20:55
  of.
• 20:55
  And
• 20:56
  that's
• 20:56
  the
• 20:56
  same
• 20:56
  with
• 20:56
  all
• 20:56
  of
• 20:56
  our
• 20:57
  colleagues,
• 20:58
  managers,
• 20:58
  clients.
• 20:59
  Sure,
• 20:59
  they're
• 20:59
  capable
• 21:00
  of
• 21:00
  all
• 21:00
  those
• 21:00
  things,
• 21:01
  but
• 21:01
  does
• 21:01
  it
• 21:02
  serve
• 21:02
  you
• 21:02
  to
• 21:02
  assume
• 21:03
  that
• 21:04
  without
• 21:04
  clarity,
• 21:05
  what
• 21:05
  I
• 21:06
  think
• 21:06
  about
• 21:06
  is
• 21:06
  this,
• 21:06
  Coco,
• 21:07
  sure,
• 21:08
  you
• 21:08
  can
• 21:08
  be
• 21:08
  right
• 21:09
  and
• 21:10
  you
• 21:10
  can
• 21:10
  be
• 21:10
  right
• 21:10
  all
• 21:10
  the
• 21:11
  time
• 21:11
  about
• 21:11
  your
• 21:11
  judgment.
• 21:12
  But
• 21:13
  what
• 21:13
  does
• 21:13
  it
• 21:14
  do
• 21:14
  in
• 21:14
  hijacking
• 21:15
  your
• 21:17
  nervous
• 21:17
  system
• 21:18
  to
• 21:18
  hand
• 21:19
  over
• 21:19
  your
• 21:19
  power
• 21:20
  and
• 21:20
  your
• 21:20
  ability
• 21:21
  to
• 21:21
  think
• 21:21
  clearly?
• 21:21
  The
• 21:21
  problem
• 21:22
  with
• 21:22
  our
• 21:22
  brains
• 21:23
  is
• 21:23
  that
• 21:23
  they're
• 21:23
  built
• 21:23
  for
• 21:23
  survival,
• 21:24
  not
• 21:24
  for
• 21:24
  thriving.
• 21:25
  As
• 21:25
  soon
• 21:26
  as
• 21:26
  you
• 21:26
  get
• 21:26
  triggered
• 21:27
  by
• 21:28
  anger
• 21:28
  or
• 21:29
  fear
• 21:30
  or
• 21:30
  hostility,
• 21:31
  any
• 21:31
  kind
• 21:31
  of
• 21:32
  conflict,
• 21:32
  stress,
• 21:33
  you
• 21:33
  go
• 21:33
  to
• 21:33
  the
• 21:34
  back
• 21:34
  base
• 21:35
  part
• 21:35
  of
• 21:35
  your
• 21:35
  brain,
• 21:35
  your
• 21:35
  monkey
• 21:36
  brain,
• 21:37
  and
• 21:37
  all
• 21:37
  you're
• 21:37
  trying
• 21:38
  to
• 21:38
  do
• 21:38
  is
• 21:38
  survive,
• 21:39
  which
• 21:39
  means
• 21:39
  you're
• 21:39
  usually
• 21:40
  going
• 21:40
  to
• 21:40
  fight
• 21:41
  or
• 21:41
  retreat,
• 21:42
  right?
• 21:43
  That
• 21:44
  doesn't
• 21:44
  really
• 21:44
  help
• 21:45
  in
• 21:45
  most
• 21:45
  situations.
• 21:46
  What
• 21:47
  really
• 21:47
  helps
• 21:47
  is
• 21:48
  to
• 21:48
  get
• 21:48
  curious.
• 21:48
  But
• 21:49
  that's
• 21:49
  the
• 21:49
  front
• 21:49
  of
• 21:49
  your
• 21:49
  brain
• 21:50
  and
• 21:50
  that
• 21:50
  can
• 21:51
  only
• 21:51
  come
• 21:51
  online
• 21:52
  when
• 21:52
  you
• 21:52
  turn
• 21:52
  off
• 21:53
  that
• 21:53
  more
• 21:54
  base
• 21:55
  part
• 21:55
  of
• 21:55
  your
• 21:55
  brain
• 21:56
  with
• 21:56
  curiosity.
• 21:57
  You
• 21:57
  can
• 21:58
  only
• 21:58
  make
• 21:59
  that
• 21:59
  move
• 21:59
  by
• 22:00
  changing
• 22:00
  the
• 22:00
  brain
• 22:00
  chemistry
• 22:01
  and
• 22:01
  moving
• 22:01
  into
• 22:01
  curiosity.
• 22:02
  So
• 22:03
  that's
• 22:03
  a
• 22:03
  way
• 22:03
  that
• 22:04
  we
• 22:04
  can
• 22:04
  be
• 22:04
  more
• 22:05
  empowered
• 22:06
  in
• 22:06
  any
• 22:06
  situation
• 22:07
  at
• 22:07
  work
• 22:07
  is
• 22:08
  to
• 22:08
  just
• 22:08
  think,
• 22:09
  I
• 22:09
  use
• 22:09
  this
• 22:10
  tool.
• 22:10
  And,
• 22:10
  and,
• 22:10
  or
• 22:11
  which
• 22:11
  is
• 22:12
  this
• 22:12
  is
• 22:12
  true.
• 22:13
  And
• 22:13
  this
• 22:13
  is
• 22:14
  true.
• 22:14
  This
• 22:14
  person's
• 22:14
  being
• 22:14
  a
• 22:15
  jerk
• 22:15
  and
• 22:15
  they've
• 22:16
  been
• 22:16
  really
• 22:16
  generous
• 22:16
  to
• 22:17
  me.
• 22:17
  This
• 22:17
  person
• 22:18
  is
• 22:18
  irresponsible
• 22:19
  and
• 22:20
  they're
• 22:20
  really
• 22:21
  smart.
• 22:21
  And
• 22:22
  then.
• 22:22
  Or
• 22:22
  which
• 22:22
  is
• 22:23
  this
• 22:23
  is
• 22:23
  what
• 22:24
  I'm
• 22:24
  thinking
• 22:24
  is
• 22:24
  happening.
• 22:25
  Or
• 22:26
  this
• 22:27
  could
• 22:27
  be
• 22:27
  happening.
• 22:28
  Or
• 22:29
  this
• 22:29
  could
• 22:29
  be
• 22:29
  happening.
• 22:30
  Let
• 22:30
  me
• 22:30
  get
• 22:30
  curious
• 22:31
  and
• 22:31
  let
• 22:31
  me
• 22:31
  turn
• 22:32
  down
• 22:32
  the
• 22:33
  volume
• 22:33
  of
• 22:33
  that
• 22:33
  part
• 22:33
  of
• 22:34
  my
• 22:34
  brain
• 22:34
  that's
• 22:34
  trying
• 22:34
  to
• 22:35
  survive
• 22:35
  this
• 22:36
  moment
• 22:36
  and
• 22:36
  instead
• 22:37
  find
• 22:37
  a
• 22:37
  way
• 22:38
  to
• 22:38
  resolve
• 22:39
  this
• 22:40
  moment.
• 22:41
  Yeah.
• 22:41
  And
• 22:41
  that's
• 22:41
  so,
• 22:42
  I
• 22:42
  mean,
• 22:42
  to
• 22:42
  me
• 22:42
  that's
• 22:43
  so
• 22:44
  valuable
• 22:44
  because
• 22:44
  then
• 22:45
  it's
• 22:45
  like
• 22:45
  you
• 22:46
  say
• 22:46
  you
• 22:46
  feel
• 22:46
  your
• 22:46
  whole
• 22:47
  neurology
• 22:48
  calm
• 22:48
  down.
• 22:49
  Yeah.
• 22:49
  And
• 22:50
  it
• 22:50
  doesn't
• 22:50
  mean
• 22:50
  that
• 22:51
  somebody
• 22:51
  couldn't
• 22:52
  have
• 22:52
  unkind
• 22:53
  intentions,
• 22:54
  but
• 22:54
  it
• 22:55
  brings
• 22:55
  your
• 22:55
  own
• 22:56
  power
• 22:56
  back.
• 22:57
  Yes.
• 22:58
  So
• 22:58
  now
• 22:58
  you
• 22:58
  can
• 22:59
  respond
• 23:00
  and
• 23:00
  your
• 23:01
  diligence
• 23:01
  rather
• 23:02
  than,
• 23:02
  you
• 23:02
  know,
• 23:02
  like
• 23:03
  I'm
• 23:03
  afraid
• 23:03
  and
• 23:03
  I
• 23:04
  have
• 23:04
  to
• 23:04
  fight.
• 23:04
  Is
• 23:04
  that
• 23:05
  going
• 23:05
  to
• 23:05
  get
• 23:05
  you.
• 23:05
  And
• 23:05
  that's
• 23:06
  the
• 23:06
  efficiency
• 23:06
  thing.
• 23:07
  Right?
• 23:07
  Correct.
• 23:08
  Right.
• 23:09
  It
• 23:09
  may
• 23:09
  be
• 23:09
  more
• 23:09
  efficient
• 23:10
  in
• 23:10
  the
• 23:10
  sense
• 23:11
  that
• 23:11
  if
• 23:11
  I
• 23:11
  get
• 23:11
  curious
• 23:12
  about
• 23:12
  this,
• 23:12
  I'm
• 23:13
  going
• 23:13
  to
• 23:13
  really
• 23:13
  be
• 23:13
  able
• 23:14
  to
• 23:14
  solve
• 23:14
  whatever
• 23:15
  the
• 23:15
  situation
• 23:16
  is.
• 23:17
  Correct.
• 23:17
  You
• 23:18
  first
• 23:18
  in
• 23:18
  your
• 23:19
  book
• 23:19
  help
• 23:19
  people
• 23:21
  understand
• 23:21
  what
• 23:22
  stress
• 23:22
  is
• 23:23
  and
• 23:23
  provide
• 23:24
  these
• 23:24
  great
• 23:25
  frameworks
• 23:26
  and
• 23:26
  practices
• 23:28
  to
• 23:29
  help
• 23:29
  with
• 23:29
  your
• 23:30
  stress.
• 23:30
  You're
• 23:30
  sort
• 23:31
  of
• 23:31
  getting
• 23:32
  between
• 23:32
  your
• 23:33
  ears.
• 23:34
  Yes.
• 23:34
  The
• 23:34
  head
• 23:35
  trash.
• 23:35
  I
• 23:35
  talk
• 23:36
  about
• 23:36
  taking
• 23:36
  out
• 23:36
  the
• 23:36
  head
• 23:37
  trash.
• 23:37
  Exactly.
• 23:38
  We
• 23:38
  don't
• 23:39
  learn
• 23:39
  well.
• 23:40
  We
• 23:40
  don't
• 23:41
  resolve
• 23:42
  things
• 23:42
  well
• 23:42
  when
• 23:42
  we're
• 23:43
  under
• 23:43
  stress.
• 23:44
  We
• 23:44
  go
• 23:44
  to
• 23:44
  our
• 23:45
  least
• 23:46
  efficient
• 23:48
  tactics
• 23:49
  when
• 23:49
  we're
• 23:49
  under
• 23:49
  stress.
• 23:50
  Right.
• 23:50
  If
• 23:50
  you
• 23:50
  want
• 23:50
  to
• 23:50
  know
• 23:51
  who
• 23:51
  somebody
• 23:51
  is.
• 23:51
  Right.
• 23:52
  Put
• 23:52
  them
• 23:52
  under
• 23:52
  stress.
• 23:53
  I
• 23:53
  don't
• 23:53
  know
• 23:53
  if
• 23:54
  that's
• 23:54
  fair.
• 23:54
  But
• 23:54
  we
• 23:55
  do
• 23:55
  know
• 23:56
  their
• 23:57
  go
• 23:57
  to
• 23:58
  methods
• 23:59
  when
• 23:59
  they're
• 23:59
  under
• 23:59
  stress.
• 24:00
  So
• 24:00
  if
• 24:00
  you
• 24:01
  want
• 24:01
  someone
• 24:01
  to
• 24:02
  learn
• 24:02
  something
• 24:02
  and
• 24:03
  do
• 24:03
  something
• 24:03
  differently,
• 24:04
  getting
• 24:04
  them
• 24:05
  to
• 24:05
  listen
• 24:05
  and
• 24:05
  be
• 24:06
  open
• 24:06
  when
• 24:06
  they're
• 24:06
  under
• 24:07
  stress.
• 24:07
  So
• 24:08
  I
• 24:08
  start
• 24:08
  trying
• 24:09
  to
• 24:09
  get
• 24:09
  you
• 24:09
  to
• 24:09
  dial
• 24:10
  down
• 24:10
  that
• 24:10
  stress
• 24:11
  response
• 24:12
  so
• 24:12
  that
• 24:12
  you
• 24:12
  can
• 24:12
  listen
• 24:13
  to
• 24:13
  the
• 24:13
  other
• 24:13
  tools
• 24:14
  that
• 24:14
  are
• 24:14
  going
• 24:14
  to
• 24:14
  be
• 24:14
  more
• 24:14
  effective
• 24:15
  in
• 24:15
  helping
• 24:15
  you
• 24:16
  resolve
• 24:16
  the
• 24:16
  intra
• 24:17
  and
• 24:17
  interpersonal
• 24:18
  dynamics
• 24:19
  and
• 24:19
  struggles
• 24:20
  that
• 24:20
  we
• 24:20
  find
• 24:20
  ourselves
• 24:20
  in
• 24:20
  at
• 24:21
  work.
• 24:21
  Sure.
• 24:22
  Started
• 24:22
  to
• 24:22
  learn
• 24:23
  about
• 24:23
  this
• 24:24
  when
• 24:24
  my
• 24:24
  daughter,
• 24:25
  who's
• 24:25
  now
• 24:25
  16,
• 24:26
  was
• 24:26
  three.
• 24:27
  Her
• 24:28
  school
• 24:28
  had
• 24:29
  this
• 24:29
  positive
• 24:29
  discipline
• 24:30
  course.
• 24:31
  It
• 24:31
  was
• 24:31
  all
• 24:32
  about
• 24:32
  helping
• 24:32
  the
• 24:33
  child
• 24:33
  feel
• 24:33
  safe
• 24:34
  and
• 24:34
  that
• 24:34
  they
• 24:34
  belonged
• 24:35
  and
• 24:35
  that
• 24:36
  their
• 24:36
  needs
• 24:36
  were
• 24:36
  met.
• 24:37
  Then
• 24:37
  they
• 24:37
  can
• 24:37
  learn
• 24:38
  and
• 24:38
  do
• 24:38
  so
• 24:39
  yelling
• 24:39
  at
• 24:39
  them
• 24:39
  because
• 24:40
  they
• 24:40
  didn't
• 24:40
  do
• 24:40
  something
• 24:41
  right
• 24:41
  is
• 24:42
  just
• 24:42
  gonna
• 24:42
  put
• 24:43
  them
• 24:43
  into
• 24:43
  that
• 24:43
  little
• 24:44
  brain
• 24:44
  part
• 24:44
  that
• 24:44
  the,
• 24:45
  the
• 24:45
  monkey
• 24:45
  mind.
• 24:46
  Right.
• 24:46
  They're
• 24:46
  not
• 24:47
  actually
• 24:47
  gonna.
• 24:47
  That
• 24:47
  prefrontal
• 24:48
  cortex,
• 24:48
  cortex
• 24:49
  and
• 24:49
  go.
• 24:50
  And
• 24:50
  it
• 24:50
  made
• 24:50
  me
• 24:50
  think
• 24:51
  about
• 24:51
  our
• 24:52
  environments
• 24:53
  that
• 24:53
  we
• 24:54
  work
• 24:54
  in
• 24:55
  and
• 24:55
  how
• 24:55
  this
• 24:56
  command
• 24:56
  and
• 24:56
  control
• 24:57
  thing
• 24:58
  that's
• 24:58
  been
• 24:59
  passed
• 24:59
  down
• 25:00
  for,
• 25:00
  for
• 25:00
  all
• 25:00
  these
• 25:01
  years
• 25:01
  in
• 25:01
  work
• 25:01
  environments
• 25:02
  doesn't
• 25:03
  set
• 25:03
  people
• 25:03
  up
• 25:04
  to
• 25:04
  be
• 25:04
  creative.
• 25:05
  It
• 25:05
  doesn't
• 25:05
  set
• 25:05
  people
• 25:06
  up
• 25:06
  to
• 25:06
  get
• 25:06
  along.
• 25:07
  It
• 25:07
  doesn't
• 25:07
  set
• 25:07
  people
• 25:08
  up
• 25:08
  to
• 25:08
  provide
• 25:08
  any
• 25:09
  innovation
• 25:09
  or
• 25:10
  help
• 25:10
  your
• 25:10
  companies
• 25:10
  to
• 25:11
  grow.
• 25:11
  Because
• 25:12
  everybody's
• 25:13
  just
• 25:13
  trying
• 25:13
  to
• 25:13
  stay
• 25:14
  safe.
• 25:14
  And
• 25:14
  they're
• 25:14
  all
• 25:14
  living
• 25:15
  in
• 25:15
  their
• 25:15
  little
• 25:15
  lizard
• 25:16
  brain
• 25:16
  monkey
• 25:16
  minds.
• 25:17
  They're
• 25:17
  doing
• 25:18
  efficient
• 25:18
  things.
• 25:19
  So
• 25:19
  Maslow,
• 25:20
  the
• 25:20
  father
• 25:20
  of
• 25:21
  modern
• 25:21
  psychology,
• 25:22
  talks
• 25:22
  about
• 25:23
  the
• 25:23
  hierarchy
• 25:23
  of
• 25:24
  needs.
• 25:24
  Safety's
• 25:24
  first.
• 25:25
  You
• 25:25
  know,
• 25:26
  I
• 25:26
  used
• 25:26
  to
• 25:26
  run
• 25:26
  a
• 25:26
  summer
• 25:26
  camp
• 25:27
  for
• 25:27
  kids
• 25:27
  and
• 25:27
  we
• 25:27
  said
• 25:28
  safety
• 25:28
  first,
• 25:28
  fun
• 25:29
  is
• 25:29
  a
• 25:29
  close
• 25:29
  second.
• 25:30
  But
• 25:30
  safety
• 25:30
  first,
• 25:30
  you
• 25:31
  can't
• 25:31
  get
• 25:31
  anywhere
• 25:31
  without
• 25:32
  safety.
• 25:32
  And
• 25:32
  the
• 25:33
  problem
• 25:33
  with
• 25:33
  organizations
• 25:34
  that
• 25:34
  are
• 25:34
  built
• 25:35
  on
• 25:35
  fear,
• 25:36
  that
• 25:36
  are
• 25:37
  built
• 25:37
  with
• 25:37
  a
• 25:38
  lack
• 25:38
  mentality,
• 25:39
  with
• 25:39
  a
• 25:39
  scarcity
• 25:40
  mindset,
• 25:40
  not
• 25:41
  looking
• 25:41
  toward
• 25:42
  where
• 25:42
  they're
• 25:42
  going
• 25:42
  and
• 25:43
  why
• 25:43
  they're
• 25:43
  going
• 25:44
  there
• 25:44
  and
• 25:44
  being
• 25:44
  more
• 25:44
  mission
• 25:45
  led,
• 25:45
  which
• 25:45
  is
• 25:45
  at
• 25:45
  the
• 25:45
  top
• 25:46
  of
• 25:46
  the
• 25:46
  pyramid
• 25:46
  of
• 25:46
  self
• 25:47
  actualization
• 25:47
  and
• 25:48
  belonging,
• 25:48
  right.
• 25:49
  Is
• 25:49
  this
• 25:49
  sense
• 25:50
  of
• 25:50
  you
• 25:50
  have
• 25:50
  to
• 25:51
  feel
• 25:51
  safe.
• 25:52
  And
• 25:53
  so
• 25:53
  if
• 25:53
  we
• 25:53
  are
• 25:53
  taking
• 25:54
  away
• 25:54
  employees
• 25:55
  safety
• 25:55
  by
• 25:56
  having
• 25:56
  things
• 25:57
  toxic
• 25:57
  work
• 25:58
  environment,
• 25:58
  rewarding
• 25:59
  negative
• 26:00
  employees,
• 26:01
  you
• 26:01
  know,
• 26:01
  not
• 26:01
  addressing
• 26:02
  conflict,
• 26:04
  we're
• 26:04
  setting
• 26:05
  ourselves
• 26:05
  up
• 26:05
  to
• 26:06
  not
• 26:06
  actually
• 26:07
  succeed
• 26:07
  as
• 26:07
  well.
• 26:08
  And
• 26:08
  that's.
• 26:08
  It's
• 26:08
  in
• 26:09
  the
• 26:09
  data.
• 26:09
  It's
• 26:09
  not
• 26:10
  just
• 26:10
  conjecture
• 26:11
  and
• 26:11
  just
• 26:11
  conversations.
• 26:12
  You
• 26:12
  find
• 26:13
  that
• 26:13
  organizations
• 26:14
  that
• 26:15
  are
• 26:15
  motivating
• 26:15
  their
• 26:16
  employees,
• 26:16
  organizations
• 26:17
  that
• 26:17
  are
• 26:17
  trusting
• 26:18
  their
• 26:18
  employees
• 26:19
  to
• 26:19
  do
• 26:19
  the
• 26:19
  right
• 26:19
  thing,
• 26:20
  are
• 26:20
  doing
• 26:21
  better,
• 26:21
  they're
• 26:22
  more
• 26:22
  creative,
• 26:23
  they're
• 26:23
  more
• 26:23
  profitable.
• 26:24
  Like
• 26:24
  this
• 26:24
  is
• 26:25
  numbers.
• 26:25
  So
• 26:25
  if
• 26:25
  you
• 26:25
  want
• 26:25
  to
• 26:25
  get
• 26:25
  greedy
• 26:26
  and
• 26:26
  it's
• 26:26
  all
• 26:26
  about
• 26:26
  numbers,
• 26:27
  great,
• 26:27
  make
• 26:28
  it
• 26:28
  all
• 26:28
  about
• 26:28
  numbers.
• 26:28
  And
• 26:29
  guess
• 26:29
  what?
• 26:29
  Change
• 26:29
  the
• 26:30
  culture.
• 26:30
  Because
• 26:31
  the
• 26:31
  culture
• 26:31
  is
• 26:31
  going
• 26:31
  to
• 26:32
  change
• 26:32
  your
• 26:32
  numbers.
• 26:33
  So
• 26:33
  even
• 26:33
  if
• 26:33
  you're
• 26:33
  doing
• 26:34
  it
• 26:34
  for
• 26:34
  that
• 26:34
  purpose,
• 26:35
  which
• 26:35
  I'll
• 26:35
  get
• 26:36
  on
• 26:36
  board
• 26:36
  with
• 26:36
  for
• 26:36
  a
• 26:36
  minute
• 26:37
  because
• 26:37
  it's
• 26:37
  just
• 26:37
  another
• 26:38
  route
• 26:38
  to
• 26:38
  the
• 26:38
  same
• 26:38
  outcome,
• 26:39
  then
• 26:40
  do
• 26:40
  it
• 26:41
  that
• 26:41
  way
• 26:41
  because
• 26:41
  that
• 26:42
  is
• 26:42
  actually
• 26:42
  proven
• 26:43
  in
• 26:43
  the
• 26:43
  data.
• 26:44
  Right?
• 26:45
  Yeah.
• 26:45
  So
• 26:46
  when
• 26:47
  you.
• 26:47
  I'm
• 26:47
  going
• 26:47
  to
• 26:47
  go
• 26:48
  back
• 26:48
  to
• 26:48
  your
• 26:48
  book
• 26:48
  now,
• 26:48
  please.
• 26:50
  So
• 26:50
  in
• 26:50
  your
• 26:51
  book,
• 26:51
  first
• 26:51
  you
• 26:51
  talk
• 26:52
  about
• 26:52
  the
• 26:52
  pieces
• 26:52
  that
• 26:53
  are
• 26:53
  about
• 26:54
  stress
• 26:55
  and
• 26:55
  what
• 26:55
  that,
• 26:56
  what
• 26:56
  creates
• 26:56
  that
• 26:56
  and
• 26:57
  some
• 26:57
  ways
• 26:57
  to
• 26:57
  help
• 26:57
  get
• 26:57
  out
• 26:58
  of
• 26:58
  it.
• 26:58
  And
• 26:58
  then
• 26:58
  you
• 26:59
  talk
• 26:59
  about
• 27:00
  the
• 27:00
  interpersonal
• 27:01
  toolkit.
• 27:02
  So
• 27:02
  it's
• 27:02
  intra,
• 27:03
  then
• 27:03
  inter.
• 27:03
  So
• 27:04
  intra
• 27:04
  is
• 27:05
  within,
• 27:05
  within
• 27:06
  your
• 27:06
  own
• 27:06
  little
• 27:07
  mind.
• 27:07
  Right.
• 27:07
  Because
• 27:08
  you
• 27:08
  got
• 27:08
  to
• 27:08
  start
• 27:08
  with
• 27:08
  you,
• 27:09
  I
• 27:09
  wish
• 27:09
  we
• 27:09
  could
• 27:09
  start
• 27:09
  with
• 27:10
  everybody
• 27:10
  else.
• 27:10
  But
• 27:11
  again,
• 27:11
  we
• 27:11
  can't
• 27:11
  change
• 27:12
  them.
• 27:12
  We
• 27:12
  can
• 27:13
  influence
• 27:13
  them,
• 27:13
  but
• 27:13
  we
• 27:13
  can
• 27:14
  best
• 27:14
  influence
• 27:15
  them
• 27:15
  when
• 27:15
  we
• 27:16
  get
• 27:16
  our
• 27:16
  stuff
• 27:16
  taken
• 27:16
  care
• 27:17
  of.
• 27:17
  So
• 27:17
  tactics
• 27:18
  to
• 27:18
  address
• 27:18
  the
• 27:18
  parts
• 27:19
  of
• 27:19
  you
• 27:19
  that
• 27:20
  foster
• 27:20
  conflict,
• 27:22
  just
• 27:22
  to
• 27:22
  call
• 27:22
  ourselves
• 27:23
  on
• 27:23
  it,
• 27:23
  we're
• 27:23
  fostering
• 27:24
  the
• 27:24
  conflict
• 27:25
  and
• 27:25
  you
• 27:25
  need
• 27:25
  to
• 27:25
  focus
• 27:26
  on
• 27:26
  the
• 27:27
  role
• 27:27
  you
• 27:27
  play
• 27:28
  in
• 27:28
  your
• 27:28
  misery.
• 27:31
  We
• 27:31
  play
• 27:31
  a
• 27:32
  fairly
• 27:33
  large
• 27:33
  role,
• 27:33
  if
• 27:34
  I
• 27:34
  can
• 27:34
  boil
• 27:34
  it
• 27:34
  down
• 27:34
  to
• 27:35
  a
• 27:35
  few
• 27:35
  things.
• 27:35
  One
• 27:36
  is
• 27:36
  obviously
• 27:37
  dysregulation,
• 27:38
  not
• 27:38
  being
• 27:38
  emotionally
• 27:38
  regulated,
• 27:39
  because
• 27:39
  then
• 27:39
  you
• 27:40
  take
• 27:40
  all
• 27:40
  the
• 27:40
  bait
• 27:40
  you're
• 27:41
  handed.
• 27:41
  And
• 27:41
  so
• 27:41
  when
• 27:42
  you're
• 27:42
  dysregulating,
• 27:42
  how
• 27:42
  do.
• 27:43
  We
• 27:43
  make
• 27:43
  that
• 27:43
  better?
• 27:43
  Oh,
• 27:44
  well,
• 27:44
  I
• 27:44
  mean
• 27:44
  there's
• 27:45
  so
• 27:45
  many
• 27:45
  tools
• 27:46
  are
• 27:46
  out
• 27:46
  there.
• 27:46
  I
• 27:46
  mean
• 27:46
  there's
• 27:46
  so
• 27:47
  many
• 27:47
  apps
• 27:47
  for
• 27:47
  meditation,
• 27:48
  for
• 27:48
  centering,
• 27:49
  for
• 27:49
  self
• 27:50
  care.
• 27:50
  And
• 27:50
  that
• 27:50
  doesn't
• 27:51
  mean
• 27:51
  spa
• 27:51
  days,
• 27:52
  it
• 27:52
  could
• 27:52
  be,
• 27:53
  but
• 27:53
  it
• 27:53
  really
• 27:53
  means
• 27:54
  going
• 27:54
  in
• 27:55
  and
• 27:55
  doing
• 27:55
  the
• 27:56
  work,
• 27:56
  telling
• 27:56
  the
• 27:57
  stories
• 27:57
  differently
• 27:58
  about
• 27:58
  yourself.
• 27:58
  I
• 27:58
  have
• 27:58
  a
• 27:59
  whole
• 27:59
  contracts
• 28:00
  workshop
• 28:00
  about
• 28:01
  how
• 28:01
  you
• 28:01
  are
• 28:02
  living
• 28:02
  a
• 28:03
  life
• 28:03
  that
• 28:03
  you
• 28:03
  have
• 28:03
  agreed
• 28:04
  to
• 28:04
  live
• 28:04
  and
• 28:04
  maybe
• 28:05
  not
• 28:05
  the
• 28:05
  life
• 28:05
  that
• 28:06
  you've
• 28:06
  dreamed
• 28:06
  of
• 28:07
  living,
• 28:07
  right?
• 28:07
  Being
• 28:08
  able
• 28:08
  to
• 28:08
  be
• 28:08
  real
• 28:08
  honest
• 28:09
  with
• 28:09
  that.
• 28:09
  Because
• 28:10
  then
• 28:10
  you're
• 28:10
  externalizing
• 28:11
  the
• 28:11
  source
• 28:12
  of
• 28:12
  your
• 28:12
  misery
• 28:12
  instead
• 28:12
  of
• 28:13
  internalizing
• 28:14
  and
• 28:14
  realizing,
• 28:15
  am
• 28:15
  I
• 28:15
  really
• 28:15
  working
• 28:16
  in
• 28:16
  my
• 28:16
  own
• 28:16
  best
• 28:16
  interest?
• 28:17
  Right?
• 28:18
  And
• 28:18
  then
• 28:18
  the
• 28:18
  other
• 28:18
  pieces
• 28:19
  around.
• 28:19
  So
• 28:19
  we've
• 28:19
  got
• 28:20
  the
• 28:20
  dysregulation
• 28:21
  piece
• 28:21
  that's
• 28:21
  fostered
• 28:22
  by
• 28:22
  a
• 28:22
  number
• 28:22
  of
• 28:22
  things.
• 28:23
  We've
• 28:23
  got
• 28:23
  the
• 28:23
  storytelling
• 28:24
  piece,
• 28:24
  which
• 28:24
  is
• 28:24
  what
• 28:25
  story
• 28:25
  are
• 28:25
  we
• 28:25
  telling
• 28:26
  and
• 28:26
  how
• 28:26
  are
• 28:26
  we
• 28:26
  picking
• 28:27
  up
• 28:27
  certain
• 28:27
  details
• 28:28
  that
• 28:28
  either
• 28:29
  undermine
• 28:29
  us
• 28:30
  or
• 28:30
  embolden
• 28:31
  us
• 28:31
  and
• 28:31
  empower
• 28:32
  us.
• 28:33
  And
• 28:33
  then
• 28:33
  cognitive
• 28:34
  distortions
• 28:34
  are
• 28:35
  part
• 28:35
  of
• 28:35
  that,
• 28:35
  like
• 28:36
  the
• 28:36
  stories
• 28:36
  that
• 28:36
  we're
• 28:36
  telling
• 28:37
  ourselves.
• 28:37
  Recognizing
• 28:38
  that
• 28:38
  our
• 28:38
  brains
• 28:39
  are
• 28:39
  built
• 28:39
  for
• 28:39
  safety
• 28:41
  and
• 28:41
  our
• 28:41
  brains
• 28:41
  are
• 28:41
  built
• 28:42
  for
• 28:42
  negativity
• 28:43
  because
• 28:43
  negativity
• 28:44
  keeps
• 28:44
  us
• 28:44
  away
• 28:45
  from
• 28:45
  taking
• 28:45
  risks
• 28:46
  that
• 28:46
  can
• 28:47
  make
• 28:47
  us
• 28:47
  be
• 28:47
  unsafe.
• 28:48
  So
• 28:49
  if
• 28:49
  we
• 28:49
  know
• 28:49
  that
• 28:49
  our
• 28:50
  default
• 28:50
  programming
• 28:51
  is
• 28:52
  to
• 28:52
  be
• 28:52
  more
• 28:52
  negative
• 28:53
  than
• 28:53
  positive
• 28:53
  and
• 28:54
  to
• 28:54
  seek
• 28:54
  safety
• 28:54
  before
• 28:55
  seeking
• 28:55
  satisfaction,
• 28:56
  then
• 28:56
  we
• 28:57
  can
• 28:57
  recognize
• 28:57
  that,
• 28:58
  okay,
• 28:58
  I'm
• 28:58
  doing
• 28:59
  this
• 28:59
  and
• 28:59
  I
• 28:59
  don't
• 28:59
  need
• 29:00
  to
• 29:00
  fault
• 29:00
  them
• 29:01
  and
• 29:01
  I
• 29:01
  don't
• 29:01
  need
• 29:01
  to
• 29:01
  fault
• 29:02
  me
• 29:03
  for
• 29:03
  doing
• 29:03
  the
• 29:04
  thing.
• 29:04
  So
• 29:04
  I
• 29:04
  need
• 29:05
  to
• 29:05
  figure
• 29:05
  out,
• 29:05
  am
• 29:05
  I
• 29:06
  safe
• 29:06
  and
• 29:06
  how
• 29:06
  can
• 29:06
  I
• 29:06
  assure
• 29:07
  myself
• 29:07
  that
• 29:07
  I
• 29:07
  am
• 29:08
  safe
• 29:09
  so
• 29:09
  that
• 29:09
  I
• 29:09
  can
• 29:09
  then
• 29:10
  take
• 29:10
  the
• 29:10
  risks
• 29:10
  and
• 29:11
  make
• 29:11
  the
• 29:11
  moves
• 29:12
  that
• 29:12
  I
• 29:12
  need
• 29:12
  to
• 29:12
  make
• 29:12
  that
• 29:13
  are
• 29:13
  in
• 29:13
  my
• 29:13
  and
• 29:14
  others
• 29:14
  best
• 29:14
  interest.
• 29:15
  When
• 29:15
  you
• 29:15
  talk
• 29:15
  about
• 29:15
  being
• 29:16
  forced
• 29:16
  for
• 29:16
  good,
• 29:17
  so
• 29:17
  much
• 29:18
  of
• 29:18
  that
• 29:18
  comes
• 29:18
  from
• 29:19
  having
• 29:19
  clarity
• 29:20
  of
• 29:20
  purpose.
• 29:21
  And
• 29:22
  that
• 29:22
  is
• 29:23
  what's
• 29:23
  necessary.
• 29:24
  Having
• 29:24
  clarity
• 29:25
  of
• 29:25
  purpose
• 29:25
  is
• 29:25
  feeling
• 29:25
  like
• 29:25
  you're
• 29:26
  safe
• 29:26
  to
• 29:26
  be
• 29:26
  able
• 29:26
  to
• 29:27
  communicate
• 29:27
  that
• 29:28
  so
• 29:28
  it
• 29:28
  all
• 29:28
  comes
• 29:29
  back
• 29:29
  to
• 29:29
  how
• 29:29
  do
• 29:30
  you
• 29:30
  create
• 29:31
  a
• 29:31
  sense
• 29:31
  of
• 29:31
  safety?
• 29:32
  And
• 29:32
  for
• 29:32
  those
• 29:32
  of
• 29:32
  us,
• 29:33
  and
• 29:33
  again,
• 29:33
  I
• 29:33
  speak
• 29:34
  from
• 29:34
  my
• 29:34
  own
• 29:34
  experiences
• 29:35
  who
• 29:35
  were
• 29:36
  not
• 29:36
  born
• 29:36
  into
• 29:37
  a
• 29:37
  sense
• 29:37
  of
• 29:37
  feeling
• 29:38
  safe.
• 29:39
  It's
• 29:39
  something
• 29:39
  that
• 29:39
  can
• 29:39
  be
• 29:40
  hard
• 29:40
  won.
• 29:40
  You
• 29:41
  have
• 29:41
  to
• 29:41
  really
• 29:42
  work
• 29:43
  at
• 29:43
  creating
• 29:44
  a
• 29:44
  sense
• 29:45
  of
• 29:45
  safety.
• 29:46
  Emotional
• 29:47
  and
• 29:47
  psychological
• 29:48
  safety,
• 29:48
  we
• 29:48
  talk
• 29:48
  about
• 29:49
  that
• 29:49
  a
• 29:49
  lot
• 29:49
  in
• 29:49
  the
• 29:49
  workplace
• 29:50
  now,
• 29:50
  but
• 29:50
  also
• 29:51
  physical
• 29:51
  safety,
• 29:51
  all
• 29:52
  of
• 29:52
  those
• 29:52
  things
• 29:52
  are
• 29:53
  important.
• 29:53
  And
• 29:54
  I,
• 29:54
  I
• 29:54
  believe
• 29:54
  that
• 29:55
  it's
• 29:55
  incumbent
• 29:56
  on
• 29:56
  leaders
• 29:57
  to
• 29:58
  grow
• 29:58
  in
• 29:59
  our
• 29:59
  abilities
• 30:00
  to
• 30:00
  create
• 30:01
  that
• 30:01
  kind
• 30:01
  of
• 30:01
  safety,
• 30:02
  because
• 30:03
  if
• 30:03
  we
• 30:03
  don't,
• 30:04
  people
• 30:05
  are
• 30:05
  just,
• 30:06
  first
• 30:06
  of
• 30:06
  all,
• 30:07
  they're
• 30:07
  not
• 30:07
  going
• 30:08
  to
• 30:08
  be
• 30:08
  doing
• 30:09
  their
• 30:09
  best
• 30:09
  work.
• 30:10
  And,
• 30:10
  you
• 30:11
  know,
• 30:11
  it's.
• 30:12
  I
• 30:13
  just
• 30:13
  feel
• 30:13
  like
• 30:13
  we
• 30:13
  have
• 30:13
  this
• 30:13
  opportunity
• 30:14
  as
• 30:14
  leaders
• 30:15
  to
• 30:15
  make
• 30:15
  the
• 30:15
  world
• 30:16
  better.
• 30:16
  You
• 30:16
  know,
• 30:17
  we
• 30:17
  have
• 30:17
  this
• 30:17
  little
• 30:17
  microcosm
• 30:18
  of
• 30:19
  community
• 30:20
  that
• 30:20
  Whether
• 30:21
  you
• 30:21
  lead
• 30:21
  five
• 30:21
  people
• 30:22
  or
• 30:22
  5,000
• 30:23
  or
• 30:23
  500,000,
• 30:24
  you
• 30:24
  can
• 30:24
  make
• 30:24
  that
• 30:25
  world
• 30:25
  better
• 30:26
  by
• 30:26
  the
• 30:26
  way
• 30:26
  that
• 30:27
  you
• 30:27
  construct
• 30:28
  your
• 30:28
  narratives,
• 30:29
  your
• 30:29
  rituals,
• 30:30
  and
• 30:30
  your
• 30:30
  mission.
• 30:31
  Yeah,
• 30:32
  yeah.
• 30:32
  And
• 30:32
  you
• 30:32
  talk
• 30:32
  about
• 30:33
  it
• 30:33
  in
• 30:33
  vision,
• 30:34
  right?
• 30:34
  All
• 30:34
  those
• 30:35
  pieces.
• 30:35
  And
• 30:35
  I,
• 30:35
  you
• 30:36
  know,
• 30:36
  I
• 30:36
  do
• 30:36
  a
• 30:36
  lot
• 30:36
  of
• 30:36
  strategic
• 30:37
  planning
• 30:37
  with
• 30:37
  organizations
• 30:38
  and
• 30:38
  I
• 30:39
  come
• 30:39
  down
• 30:39
  to,
• 30:40
  you
• 30:40
  know,
• 30:41
  we
• 30:41
  have
• 30:41
  four
• 30:42
  core
• 30:42
  needs,
• 30:42
  right?
• 30:43
  We
• 30:43
  have
• 30:43
  control,
• 30:44
  connection,
• 30:45
  passion,
• 30:46
  or
• 30:46
  purpose,
• 30:46
  and
• 30:47
  validation.
• 30:48
  And
• 30:48
  they
• 30:49
  all
• 30:49
  come
• 30:49
  together,
• 30:49
  they
• 30:49
  all
• 30:50
  connect
• 30:50
  around
• 30:51
  that
• 30:51
  mission,
• 30:52
  that
• 30:52
  sense
• 30:52
  of
• 30:52
  our.
• 30:53
  Why.
• 30:53
  One
• 30:54
  of
• 30:54
  the
• 30:54
  most
• 30:54
  powerful
• 30:55
  organizations
• 30:56
  for
• 30:56
  that
• 30:56
  purpose
• 30:56
  that
• 30:57
  I've
• 30:57
  worked
• 30:57
  with
• 30:58
  in
• 30:58
  the
• 30:58
  years
• 30:58
  is
• 30:58
  the
• 30:59
  Vietnam
• 30:59
  Veterans
• 30:59
  of
• 31:00
  America.
• 31:00
  I'd
• 31:01
  go
• 31:01
  to
• 31:01
  their
• 31:01
  leadership
• 31:02
  conferences
• 31:02
  and
• 31:02
  they'd
• 31:03
  have
• 31:03
  these
• 31:03
  meetings,
• 31:04
  these
• 31:04
  chapter
• 31:04
  meetings,
• 31:05
  and
• 31:05
  people
• 31:05
  would
• 31:05
  be
• 31:06
  fighting
• 31:06
  about
• 31:06
  all
• 31:06
  these
• 31:07
  little
• 31:07
  things,
• 31:07
  kind
• 31:07
  of
• 31:07
  like
• 31:07
  the.
• 31:08
  The
• 31:08
  marital
• 31:09
  equivalent
• 31:09
  of
• 31:09
  leaving
• 31:09
  the
• 31:10
  toilet
• 31:10
  seat
• 31:10
  up.
• 31:10
  Just
• 31:11
  like
• 31:11
  the
• 31:11
  little
• 31:11
  irritations
• 31:12
  leaving
• 31:12
  the
• 31:12
  coffee
• 31:13
  mugs
• 31:13
  in
• 31:13
  the
• 31:13
  sink
• 31:14
  at
• 31:14
  work.
• 31:14
  And
• 31:14
  I'd
• 31:15
  say,
• 31:15
  okay,
• 31:15
  hang
• 31:15
  on
• 31:15
  a
• 31:15
  second.
• 31:16
  Can
• 31:16
  someone
• 31:17
  say
• 31:17
  your
• 31:17
  mission?
• 31:18
  Never
• 31:19
  again
• 31:19
  will
• 31:20
  one
• 31:20
  generation
• 31:21
  of
• 31:22
  veterans
• 31:22
  abandon
• 31:23
  another.
• 31:24
  Never
• 31:25
  again
• 31:25
  will
• 31:25
  one
• 31:25
  generation
• 31:26
  of
• 31:26
  veterans
• 31:26
  abandon
• 31:27
  another.
• 31:27
  I
• 31:28
  would
• 31:28
  have
• 31:28
  them
• 31:28
  say
• 31:28
  it
• 31:29
  over
• 31:29
  and
• 31:30
  over
• 31:30
  until
• 31:30
  these
• 31:31
  grown
• 31:31
  men
• 31:32
  were
• 31:32
  crying.
• 31:33
  If
• 31:33
  you
• 31:33
  can
• 31:34
  put
• 31:34
  yourself
• 31:34
  in
• 31:35
  the
• 31:35
  position
• 31:35
  of
• 31:35
  recognizing
• 31:36
  that
• 31:36
  when
• 31:36
  you
• 31:37
  have
• 31:37
  passion
• 31:37
  and
• 31:38
  purpose,
• 31:38
  you
• 31:38
  can
• 31:39
  mobilize
• 31:40
  so
• 31:40
  much
• 31:40
  strength
• 31:41
  to
• 31:41
  focus
• 31:41
  on
• 31:41
  the
• 31:41
  things
• 31:42
  that
• 31:42
  are
• 31:42
  actually
• 31:42
  going
• 31:42
  to
• 31:42
  matter
• 31:43
  in
• 31:43
  your
• 31:43
  journey
• 31:44
  than
• 31:44
  the
• 31:44
  things
• 31:44
  that
• 31:44
  are
• 31:45
  just
• 31:45
  distractions.
• 31:46
  That's
• 31:46
  so
• 31:47
  much
• 31:47
  of
• 31:47
  what
• 31:47
  unflappable
• 31:48
  is
• 31:48
  also
• 31:48
  coming
• 31:48
  from.
• 31:49
  What
• 31:49
  is
• 31:49
  your
• 31:49
  why?
• 31:50
  What
• 31:50
  is
• 31:50
  your
• 31:50
  purpose?
• 31:51
  Like,
• 31:51
  what
• 31:51
  do
• 31:51
  you
• 31:51
  want
• 31:51
  to
• 31:52
  be
• 31:52
  in
• 31:52
  this
• 31:52
  world
• 31:53
  and
• 31:53
  how
• 31:53
  do
• 31:54
  you
• 31:54
  make
• 31:54
  that
• 31:54
  happen?
• 31:55
  And
• 31:55
  it
• 31:55
  can
• 31:56
  cycle
• 31:56
  right
• 31:56
  back
• 31:57
  to
• 31:57
  purpose,
• 31:57
  which
• 31:58
  again,
• 31:58
  we
• 31:58
  can
• 31:58
  talk
• 31:58
  about
• 31:59
  both
• 31:59
  of
• 31:59
  our
• 31:59
  books
• 31:59
  because
• 31:59
  I
• 32:00
  just
• 32:00
  loved
• 32:00
  it
• 32:00
  in
• 32:00
  yours.
• 32:01
  Talking
• 32:01
  about
• 32:01
  your
• 32:02
  remarkable
• 32:02
  care.
• 32:02
  It's
• 32:03
  those
• 32:03
  pieces
• 32:03
  that
• 32:04
  I
• 32:04
  think
• 32:04
  are
• 32:04
  really
• 32:05
  Invaluable
• 32:06
  to
• 32:06
  creating
• 32:07
  the
• 32:07
  kind
• 32:07
  of
• 32:07
  culture
• 32:08
  that
• 32:08
  we
• 32:08
  all
• 32:09
  would
• 32:09
  benefit
• 32:10
  from.
• 32:11
  So
• 32:12
  great.
• 32:12
  We
• 32:12
  have
• 32:12
  these
• 32:12
  wonderful
• 32:13
  tools.
• 32:13
  So
• 32:14
  I
• 32:14
  encourage
• 32:15
  everybody
• 32:16
  to
• 32:16
  pick
• 32:16
  up
• 32:16
  this
• 32:17
  book
• 32:17
  because
• 32:17
  Dr.
• 32:18
  B
• 32:18
  really
• 32:18
  walks
• 32:19
  through.
• 32:19
  It's
• 32:21
  so
• 32:21
  tangible.
• 32:22
  And
• 32:22
  what
• 32:22
  I
• 32:23
  love
• 32:23
  about
• 32:23
  this
• 32:23
  is
• 32:23
  you
• 32:24
  could
• 32:24
  really
• 32:24
  like.
• 32:25
  It
• 32:25
  would
• 32:26
  be
• 32:26
  a
• 32:26
  great
• 32:26
  practice
• 32:27
  weekly.
• 32:28
  Take
• 32:28
  one
• 32:28
  little
• 32:29
  section.
• 32:29
  There's
• 32:30
  practices,
• 32:30
  there's
• 32:31
  frameworks,
• 32:31
  ways
• 32:32
  to
• 32:32
  think
• 32:32
  about
• 32:32
  things.
• 32:33
  And
• 32:34
  you
• 32:34
  could
• 32:34
  bring
• 32:34
  one
• 32:35
  a
• 32:35
  week
• 32:35
  to
• 32:35
  your
• 32:36
  conversations
• 32:37
  with
• 32:37
  your
• 32:37
  team.
• 32:38
  It
• 32:39
  would
• 32:39
  unbelievably
• 32:40
  transform
• 32:41
  the
• 32:42
  experience
• 32:42
  and
• 32:43
  the
• 32:43
  connection,
• 32:44
  the
• 32:44
  conflict
• 32:45
  and
• 32:45
  the
• 32:45
  stress.
• 32:46
  We're
• 32:47
  team
• 32:47
  oriented.
• 32:48
  We
• 32:48
  learn,
• 32:49
  relearn
• 32:49
  and
• 32:50
  change
• 32:50
  through
• 32:50
  connection.
• 32:51
  One
• 32:51
  of
• 32:51
  the
• 32:52
  things
• 32:52
  my
• 32:52
  clients
• 32:53
  have
• 32:53
  found
• 32:53
  most
• 32:54
  valuable
• 32:54
  is
• 32:54
  when
• 32:54
  they
• 32:55
  bring
• 32:55
  it
• 32:55
  to
• 32:55
  their
• 32:55
  teams.
• 32:56
  One
• 32:56
  of
• 32:56
  the
• 32:56
  things
• 32:57
  that,
• 32:57
  from
• 32:57
  a
• 32:58
  cultural
• 32:58
  standpoint,
• 32:59
  that
• 32:59
  brings
• 33:00
  us
• 33:00
  together
• 33:00
  is
• 33:00
  language.
• 33:01
  Language
• 33:01
  and
• 33:02
  tradition,
• 33:03
  right?
• 33:03
  Like
• 33:03
  customs,
• 33:04
  things
• 33:04
  like
• 33:05
  that.
• 33:05
  When
• 33:05
  you
• 33:05
  create
• 33:06
  a
• 33:06
  custom
• 33:07
  of
• 33:07
  doing
• 33:08
  personal
• 33:08
  development,
• 33:09
  you
• 33:09
  create
• 33:09
  a
• 33:09
  bond
• 33:10
  within
• 33:10
  the
• 33:10
  system
• 33:11
  and
• 33:11
  it
• 33:11
  creates
• 33:11
  more
• 33:12
  trust,
• 33:12
  which
• 33:12
  brings
• 33:13
  down
• 33:13
  fear.
• 33:13
  Also,
• 33:14
  we
• 33:14
  learn
• 33:15
  and
• 33:15
  we
• 33:15
  connect
• 33:15
  through
• 33:16
  language.
• 33:17
  And
• 33:17
  when
• 33:17
  you
• 33:18
  have
• 33:18
  similar
• 33:18
  language.
• 33:19
  So
• 33:19
  if
• 33:19
  you
• 33:19
  pull
• 33:20
  out
• 33:20
  from
• 33:20
  one
• 33:20
  of
• 33:20
  these
• 33:20
  tools
• 33:21
  and
• 33:21
  you
• 33:21
  start
• 33:21
  talking
• 33:22
  about
• 33:22
  awareness
• 33:23
  equals
• 33:23
  choice
• 33:23
  and
• 33:23
  choice
• 33:24
  equals
• 33:24
  power,
• 33:24
  which
• 33:24
  any
• 33:25
  one
• 33:25
  of
• 33:25
  my
• 33:25
  students
• 33:25
  or
• 33:26
  clients
• 33:26
  could
• 33:26
  rattle
• 33:27
  off
• 33:27
  to
• 33:27
  you
• 33:27
  in
• 33:27
  a
• 33:27
  moment
• 33:28
  because
• 33:28
  that's
• 33:28
  something
• 33:28
  I
• 33:28
  say
• 33:29
  all
• 33:29
  the
• 33:29
  time.
• 33:30
  When
• 33:30
  you
• 33:31
  read
• 33:31
  that
• 33:31
  together
• 33:32
  as
• 33:32
  a
• 33:32
  team
• 33:32
  and
• 33:33
  then
• 33:33
  someone
• 33:33
  calls
• 33:34
  that
• 33:34
  out,
• 33:35
  it's
• 33:35
  a
• 33:35
  shortcut.
• 33:36
  Instead
• 33:36
  of
• 33:36
  having
• 33:37
  to
• 33:37
  have
• 33:37
  an
• 33:37
  in
• 33:38
  depth
• 33:38
  conversation
• 33:38
  about
• 33:39
  where
• 33:39
  you
• 33:39
  might
• 33:39
  be
• 33:39
  coming
• 33:40
  from,
• 33:40
  you
• 33:40
  remember
• 33:41
  the
• 33:41
  moment
• 33:41
  that
• 33:41
  you
• 33:41
  learn
• 33:42
  that
• 33:42
  tool
• 33:42
  together
• 33:42
  and
• 33:43
  you
• 33:43
  recognize
• 33:43
  what,
• 33:44
  what
• 33:44
  is
• 33:44
  it's
• 33:44
  calling
• 33:45
  for
• 33:45
  you
• 33:45
  to
• 33:45
  do
• 33:46
  next.
• 33:46
  So
• 33:46
  it's
• 33:47
  this
• 33:47
  shorthand
• 33:48
  that
• 33:48
  creates
• 33:48
  these
• 33:49
  audibles,
• 33:49
  you
• 33:49
  know,
• 33:50
  calls
• 33:50
  on
• 33:50
  the
• 33:50
  field
• 33:51
  so
• 33:51
  that
• 33:51
  you
• 33:52
  can
• 33:52
  move
• 33:52
  and
• 33:52
  pivot
• 33:53
  in
• 33:53
  ways
• 33:53
  that
• 33:54
  help
• 33:54
  the
• 33:54
  team
• 33:55
  benefit.
• 33:56
  If
• 33:56
  only
• 33:56
  one
• 33:56
  of
• 33:57
  you
• 33:57
  is
• 33:57
  doing
• 33:57
  it,
• 33:58
  it
• 33:58
  can
• 33:58
  be
• 33:59
  harder
• 33:59
  because
• 33:59
  other
• 34:00
  people
• 34:00
  aren't
• 34:00
  speaking
• 34:01
  that
• 34:01
  language
• 34:01
  and
• 34:01
  they're
• 34:01
  not
• 34:02
  going
• 34:02
  to
• 34:02
  necessarily
• 34:03
  know
• 34:03
  the
• 34:04
  next
• 34:04
  move
• 34:04
  they're
• 34:04
  supposed
• 34:05
  to
• 34:05
  make.
• 34:06
  Whereas
• 34:06
  when
• 34:06
  you're
• 34:06
  doing
• 34:06
  it
• 34:07
  together,
• 34:07
  you
• 34:07
  can.
• 34:09
  Brilliant.
• 34:10
  Well,
• 34:10
  as
• 34:11
  we
• 34:11
  start
• 34:11
  to
• 34:11
  close
• 34:12
  out,
• 34:12
  my
• 34:13
  question
• 34:13
  is,
• 34:14
  is
• 34:14
  there
• 34:14
  any
• 34:14
  other
• 34:15
  lasting
• 34:16
  points
• 34:17
  of
• 34:17
  wisdom
• 34:18
  or
• 34:18
  guidance
• 34:19
  you
• 34:19
  would
• 34:20
  want
• 34:20
  to
• 34:20
  offer
• 34:21
  women
• 34:22
  founders
• 34:23
  who
• 34:23
  are
• 34:24
  building
• 34:26
  visionary
• 34:27
  companies
• 34:28
  that
• 34:29
  you
• 34:29
  know
• 34:29
  and
• 34:30
  they're
• 34:30
  coming
• 34:31
  across
• 34:31
  challenge.
• 34:32
  I
• 34:33
  think
• 34:34
  one
• 34:34
  of
• 34:34
  the
• 34:34
  things
• 34:35
  for
• 34:35
  me
• 34:35
  when
• 34:36
  I
• 34:36
  created
• 34:36
  my
• 34:37
  business
• 34:37
  21
• 34:38
  years
• 34:38
  ago
• 34:39
  is
• 34:40
  I
• 34:41
  kept
• 34:42
  following
• 34:42
  that
• 34:42
  purpose.
• 34:43
  I'm
• 34:43
  going
• 34:43
  to
• 34:43
  tell
• 34:43
  you
• 34:44
  this
• 34:44
  story
• 34:44
  and
• 34:44
  maybe
• 34:44
  this
• 34:45
  will
• 34:45
  condense
• 34:45
  it.
• 34:46
  I
• 34:46
  was
• 34:46
  teaching
• 34:47
  Catholic
• 34:47
  education
• 34:48
  like
• 34:48
  Sunday
• 34:48
  school
• 34:49
  to
• 34:49
  some
• 34:49
  young
• 34:50
  kids,
• 34:50
  and
• 34:51
  this
• 34:51
  little
• 34:51
  boy
• 34:51
  came
• 34:51
  up
• 34:51
  to
• 34:52
  me
• 34:52
  and
• 34:52
  he
• 34:52
  said,
• 34:52
  Ms.
• 34:53
  Bridget,
• 34:53
  that's
• 34:54
  what
• 34:54
  I
• 34:54
  had
• 34:54
  Them
• 34:54
  call
• 34:54
  me.
• 34:54
  I
• 34:55
  said,
• 34:55
  listen,
• 34:55
  I
• 34:55
  didn't
• 34:55
  like
• 34:55
  being
• 34:56
  Mrs.
• 34:56
  Cooper
• 34:56
  when
• 34:56
  I
• 34:57
  was,
• 34:57
  so
• 34:57
  I'm
• 34:57
  going
• 34:57
  to
• 34:57
  be
• 34:57
  Ms.
• 34:58
  Bridget
• 34:58
  anyway.
• 34:59
  So
• 34:59
  I
• 35:00
  said,
• 35:00
  he
• 35:00
  said,
• 35:00
  Ms.
• 35:00
  Bridget,
• 35:01
  what's
• 35:01
  heaven
• 35:01
  like?
• 35:02
  And
• 35:02
  I
• 35:02
  said,
• 35:02
  well,
• 35:02
  you
• 35:03
  know,
• 35:03
  I
• 35:03
  haven't
• 35:03
  been
• 35:04
  so
• 35:04
  I'm
• 35:04
  not
• 35:04
  really
• 35:04
  sure
• 35:05
  but
• 35:06
  I
• 35:07
  think
• 35:07
  there's
• 35:07
  a
• 35:07
  lot
• 35:08
  of
• 35:08
  puppies
• 35:08
  and
• 35:09
  chocolate
• 35:09
  first
• 35:10
  off.
• 35:10
  And
• 35:11
  second,
• 35:11
  I
• 35:11
  think
• 35:12
  we're
• 35:12
  asked
• 35:12
  three
• 35:12
  questions.
• 35:14
  Did
• 35:14
  you
• 35:14
  have
• 35:14
  fun?
• 35:16
  Did
• 35:16
  you
• 35:16
  use
• 35:17
  the
• 35:17
  gifts
• 35:17
  I
• 35:17
  gave
• 35:18
  you
• 35:18
  to
• 35:18
  the
• 35:18
  best
• 35:18
  of
• 35:19
  your
• 35:19
  ability?
• 35:20
  And
• 35:20
  did
• 35:20
  you
• 35:20
  try
• 35:20
  to
• 35:21
  leave
• 35:21
  every
• 35:21
  situation
• 35:22
  in
• 35:22
  person
• 35:22
  better
• 35:22
  than
• 35:23
  you
• 35:23
  found
• 35:23
  them?
• 35:24
  And
• 35:24
  to
• 35:24
  me,
• 35:25
  when
• 35:25
  I'm
• 35:25
  talking
• 35:26
  about
• 35:26
  women
• 35:26
  leaders
• 35:27
  or
• 35:27
  anyone,
• 35:28
  but
• 35:28
  especially
• 35:28
  women
• 35:29
  leaders,
• 35:30
  we
• 35:30
  have
• 35:31
  a
• 35:31
  capacity
• 35:32
  for
• 35:32
  caring
• 35:33
  and
• 35:33
  nurturing
• 35:34
  that
• 35:34
  can
• 35:35
  be
• 35:35
  both
• 35:35
  our
• 35:35
  best
• 35:36
  friend
• 35:36
  and
• 35:36
  also
• 35:37
  our
• 35:37
  greatest
• 35:37
  impediment.
• 35:38
  Right?
• 35:39
  And
• 35:40
  I
• 35:40
  think
• 35:40
  those
• 35:41
  three
• 35:41
  questions,
• 35:42
  when
• 35:42
  we
• 35:42
  ask
• 35:43
  them
• 35:43
  clearly
• 35:44
  we
• 35:45
  can
• 35:45
  tap
• 35:45
  into
• 35:46
  some
• 35:46
  of
• 35:46
  the
• 35:47
  power
• 35:47
  we
• 35:47
  have
• 35:48
  as
• 35:48
  women
• 35:49
  to
• 35:49
  care
• 35:49
  for
• 35:50
  others
• 35:51
  but
• 35:51
  also
• 35:52
  to
• 35:52
  create
• 35:52
  a
• 35:53
  sense
• 35:53
  of
• 35:53
  legacy
• 35:54
  while
• 35:55
  we're
• 35:55
  still
• 35:55
  here,
• 35:56
  here
• 35:57
  that
• 35:57
  creates
• 35:58
  that
• 35:58
  pathway
• 35:59
  to
• 35:59
  living
• 35:59
  the
• 35:59
  life
• 36:00
  we
• 36:00
  were
• 36:00
  put
• 36:00
  here
• 36:00
  to
• 36:01
  live.
• 36:03
  Amazing.
• 36:04
  Thank
• 36:04
  you.
• 36:07
  So
• 36:07
  how
• 36:08
  can
• 36:08
  people
• 36:08
  get
• 36:08
  in
• 36:09
  touch
• 36:09
  with
• 36:09
  you?
• 36:09
  How
• 36:10
  can
• 36:10
  people
• 36:10
  work
• 36:10
  with
• 36:10
  you?
• 36:12
  I
• 36:12
  would
• 36:13
  love
• 36:13
  them
• 36:13
  to
• 36:13
  reach
• 36:13
  out,
• 36:14
  obviously.
• 36:14
  I
• 36:14
  mean
• 36:14
  picking
• 36:15
  up
• 36:15
  a
• 36:15
  copy
• 36:15
  of
• 36:15
  Unflappable
• 36:16
  is
• 36:16
  great.
• 36:16
  If
• 36:16
  they
• 36:16
  go
• 36:17
  to
• 36:17
  my
• 36:17
  website@Dr.bridget
• 36:18
  cooper.com
• 36:19
  I
• 36:19
  promise
• 36:20
  I
• 36:20
  don't
• 36:20
  send
• 36:20
  out
• 36:21
  a
• 36:21
  lot
• 36:21
  of
• 36:21
  things
• 36:21
  so
• 36:21
  not
• 36:21
  going
• 36:22
  to
• 36:22
  get
• 36:22
  pummeled
• 36:22
  by
• 36:22
  things
• 36:22
  from
• 36:23
  me
• 36:23
  but
• 36:23
  they
• 36:23
  can
• 36:24
  be
• 36:24
  on
• 36:24
  my
• 36:24
  mailing
• 36:24
  list
• 36:25
  that
• 36:25
  allows
• 36:25
  them
• 36:25
  to
• 36:26
  download
• 36:26
  a
• 36:26
  couple
• 36:26
  of
• 36:26
  free
• 36:27
  tools.
• 36:27
  They
• 36:27
  can
• 36:28
  order
• 36:28
  the
• 36:28
  book
• 36:28
  through
• 36:29
  my
• 36:29
  website
• 36:29
  on
• 36:30
  Amazon
• 36:30
  or
• 36:30
  go
• 36:30
  straight
• 36:31
  to
• 36:31
  Amazon
• 36:31
  if
• 36:31
  that's
• 36:31
  better
• 36:32
  for
• 36:32
  them
• 36:33
  and
• 36:33
  reach
• 36:33
  out
• 36:33
  to
• 36:34
  me.
• 36:34
  I
• 36:34
  give
• 36:35
  and
• 36:35
  to
• 36:35
  your
• 36:35
  guests
• 36:35
  I'm
• 36:36
  actually
• 36:36
  enhancing
• 36:37
  it
• 36:37
  but
• 36:37
  I
• 36:37
  give
• 36:38
  15
• 36:38
  minute
• 36:38
  free
• 36:39
  consultation
• 36:39
  to
• 36:39
  see
• 36:39
  if
• 36:40
  you
• 36:40
  want
• 36:40
  to
• 36:40
  work
• 36:40
  with
• 36:40
  me.
• 36:41
  For
• 36:41
  your
• 36:41
  guests
• 36:42
  it's
• 36:42
  30
• 36:42
  minutes
• 36:43
  because
• 36:43
  I
• 36:43
  feel
• 36:43
  like
• 36:43
  we're
• 36:44
  going
• 36:44
  to
• 36:44
  have
• 36:44
  so
• 36:44
  much
• 36:44
  to
• 36:44
  talk
• 36:44
  about
• 36:45
  between
• 36:45
  your
• 36:46
  book,
• 36:46
  mine,
• 36:46
  their
• 36:47
  work,
• 36:47
  I,
• 36:48
  anyway,
• 36:48
  so
• 36:48
  I'm
• 36:48
  giving
• 36:49
  them
• 36:49
  more
• 36:49
  time
• 36:49
  because
• 36:49
  I
• 36:50
  want
• 36:50
  to
• 36:50
  really
• 36:50
  support
• 36:51
  the
• 36:51
  women
• 36:51
  who
• 36:52
  are
• 36:52
  listening
• 36:52
  to
• 36:52
  you,
• 36:53
  the
• 36:53
  other
• 36:53
  listeners
• 36:54
  that
• 36:54
  are
• 36:54
  listening
• 36:55
  to
• 36:55
  the
• 36:55
  great
• 36:55
  messages
• 36:56
  that
• 36:56
  you
• 36:56
  have,
• 36:57
  really
• 36:57
  powerful
• 36:58
  messages.
• 36:58
  So
• 36:59
  yeah,
• 36:59
  give
• 36:59
  me
• 36:59
  a
• 37:00
  call
• 37:00
  and
• 37:00
  go
• 37:00
  to
• 37:01
  my
• 37:01
  website,
• 37:01
  Dr.bridgetcooper.com
• 37:02
  and
• 37:02
  I
• 37:03
  would
• 37:03
  love
• 37:03
  to
• 37:03
  hear
• 37:03
  from
• 37:03
  you.
• 37:04
  It's
• 37:05
  brilliant.
• 37:05
  Thank
• 37:06
  you.
• 37:06
  Well
• 37:06
  and
• 37:06
  I,
• 37:07
  I
• 37:07
  hope
• 37:07
  everyone
• 37:07
  you
• 37:08
  know,
• 37:08
  you
• 37:08
  listening
• 37:10
  have
• 37:10
  a,
• 37:10
  have,
• 37:11
  have
• 37:11
  some,
• 37:11
  have
• 37:12
  a
• 37:12
  30
• 37:12
  minute
• 37:12
  time
• 37:13
  with
• 37:13
  Dr.
• 37:13
  B.
• 37:14
  It'll
• 37:14
  really
• 37:15
  soothe
• 37:15
  your
• 37:15
  soul
• 37:16
  and
• 37:16
  open
• 37:16
  you
• 37:17
  up
• 37:17
  and
• 37:18
  you
• 37:18
  know
• 37:18
  there,
• 37:19
  there's
• 37:19
  possibilities
• 37:20
  for
• 37:20
  the
• 37:20
  future.
• 37:21
  So
• 37:21
  thank
• 37:22
  you.
• 37:22
  Ah
• 37:23
  so
• 37:23
  thank
• 37:24
  you
• 37:24
  for
• 37:25
  your
• 37:25
  wisdom.
• 37:26
  All
• 37:26
  right.
• 37:26
  I'm
• 37:26
  gonna
• 37:26
  hold
• 37:26
  both
• 37:27
  of
• 37:27
  our
• 37:27
  books
• 37:27
  up
• 37:27
  at
• 37:27
  the
• 37:27
  same.
• 37:31
  Oh,
• 37:32
  I
• 37:33
  really
• 37:33
  appreciate
• 37:33
  and
• 37:34
  honor
• 37:34
  your
• 37:34
  wisdom.
• 37:34
  This
• 37:35
  is
• 37:35
  what
• 37:35
  the
• 37:35
  sound
• 37:36
  of
• 37:36
  a
• 37:36
  wise
• 37:36
  woman
• 37:37
  sounds
• 37:37
  like.
• 37:37
  Thank
• 37:38
  you.
• 37:38
  And
• 37:38
  so
• 37:39
  I,
• 37:39
  I'm
• 37:39
  grateful
• 37:40
  you're
• 37:40
  here
• 37:40
  and
• 37:41
  I'm
• 37:41
  grateful
• 37:41
  to
• 37:41
  the
• 37:42
  listeners.
• 37:42
  I'm
• 37:43
  grateful
• 37:43
  to
• 37:43
  you,
• 37:44
  listener
• 37:44
  trailblazer
• 37:45
  who's
• 37:46
  here
• 37:47
  and
• 37:47
  sharing
• 37:47
  your
• 37:48
  heart
• 37:48
  and
• 37:48
  your
• 37:49
  soul
• 37:50
  in
• 37:50
  the
• 37:50
  world.
• 37:51
  If
• 37:51
  you
• 37:51
  enjoyed
• 37:52
  our
• 37:52
  time
• 37:52
  together,
• 37:53
  please
• 37:53
  be
• 37:54
  sure
• 37:54
  to
• 37:54
  like
• 37:55
  follow
• 37:55
  and
• 37:56
  share
• 37:56
  the
• 37:56
  With
• 37:56
  Wisdom
• 37:56
  of
• 37:57
  Women
• 37:57
  show
• 37:57
  on
• 37:57
  your
• 37:58
  favorite
• 37:58
  listening
• 37:59
  or
• 37:59
  viewing
• 38:00
  platform.
• 38:00
  Be
• 38:00
  sure
• 38:01
  to
• 38:01
  infuse
• 38:02
  more
• 38:02
  wisdom,
• 38:03
  your
• 38:03
  wisdom
• 38:04
  into
• 38:04
  your
• 38:04
  business.
• 38:05
  One
• 38:05
  way
• 38:06
  you
• 38:06
  can
• 38:06
  do
• 38:06
  that
• 38:06
  is
• 38:07
  to
• 38:07
  take
• 38:08
  the
• 38:08
  growth
• 38:08
  readiness
• 38:09
  quiz
• 38:09
  at
• 38:10
  a
• 38:10
  ForceForGood
• 38:11
  biz
• 38:12
  quiz.
• 38:13
  And
• 38:13
  right
• 38:13
  there
• 38:14
  you're
• 38:14
  gonna
• 38:14
  uncover
• 38:15
  where
• 38:15
  your
• 38:16
  wisdom
• 38:17
  is
• 38:17
  needed
• 38:18
  most.
• 38:19
  And
• 38:19
  the
• 38:19
  world
• 38:19
  is
• 38:20
  made
• 38:20
  better
• 38:21
  by
• 38:21
  women
• 38:22
  led
• 38:22
  business.
• 38:23
  So
• 38:24
  let's
• 38:24
  all
• 38:25
  go
• 38:25
  make
• 38:25
  the
• 38:25
  world.