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I Read 10 Books That Changed My Life. Here_s What Will Change Yours(M4A_128K) · NO FILTER

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I need to tell you something about books that no
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: one really says out loud. Most books don't change your life.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: Most books give you a little dopamine here a feeling
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: smart for a week, and then you forget ninety percent
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: of what you read and go back to operating exactly
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: the same way you did before you opened page one.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: You've experienced this. You read a book everyone raved about,
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: you nodded the whole way through, you told someone it
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: was really good, and then three months later you can't
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: remember a single idea from it that actually changed how
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: you live. That's not your fault, that's just most books.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: They inform you without transforming you. They add to your
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: knowledge without changing your operating system. The ten books I'm
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: about to share with you are different, not because they're
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: the most popular or the most impressive on a shelf,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: but because each one broke something in my brain. Each
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: one gave me a single idea, one idea that fundamentally
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: changed how I make decisions, how I see other people,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: how I understand myself, or how I moved through the world.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: And those ideas didn't stay on the page. They followed
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: me into my actual life and rearranged it. I'm not
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: going to summarize these books. Summaries are not that helpful.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: I'm going to give you the one idea from each
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: book that hit me the hardest, explain why it matters,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: and show you what changes when you actually absorb it.
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: Ten books, ten ideas, each one building on the last.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: By the end of this video, you'll have a framework
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: for thinking, deciding, and living that took me years and
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: thousands of pages to assemble. And I'll tell you now,
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Book number nine is the one that ties all the
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: others together. It's the one that made every other book
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: on the list makes sense. It's the oldest book on
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: the list by about three thousand years. I'd say, stay
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: for it, let's go. The first book on my list
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: is How to Decide by Annie Duke. Here's the lesson.
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: You are confusing the quality of your decisions with the
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: quality of your outcomes, and it's destroying your judgment. This
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: is the book I wish I'd read before I made
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: every major decision in my twenties, not because it tells
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: you what to decide, because it exposes the fundamental error
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: in how you evaluate your own decisions, an error you're
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: making every single day and don't even know it. Here's
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: the error. You judge your decisions by what happened after.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: If the outcome was good, you assume the decision was good.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: If the outcome was bad, you assume the decision was bad.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: This feels so obviously correct that you've never questioned it.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: But Annie Duke, a former professional poker player who went
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: on to study decision science, dismantles this completely. She calls
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: it resulting judging a decision by its result rather than
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: by the quality of the process that led to it.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: And resulting is everywhere. You took a job and it
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: worked out, you think, great decision. Your friend took the
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: same job and it didn't work out. Bad decision. But
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: the decision was identical, the information available was identical, the
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: reasoning was identical. The only difference was what happened next,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: which in most real world situations involves a massive amount
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: of luck, timing, and randomness that had nothing to do
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: with the quality of the choice. Here's why this matters
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: so much. If you judge decisions only by outcomes, you
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: learn the wrong lessons from your own life. You abandon
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: good strategies because they had bad results. You double down
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: on bad strategies because they happened to work, You become
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: superstitious instead of strategic. You let randomness rewrite your playbook.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: The shift is this, start evaluating decisions at the moment
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: you made them with the information you had at the time,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: not with the information you have now. Ask yourself, given
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: what I knew then, was that a reasonable choice? If yes,
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: a bad outcome doesn't make it a bad decision. I'll
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: give you an example. Let's say you analyze something perfectly
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: as an investment. You got really strategic about it, you
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: look to every part of it. You finally put some
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: money in and it didn't pay off. You would say
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: it was a bad decision to invest or that your
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: process was flawed. But let's say you just threw in
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: some money into something because you felt like in and
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: you felt some moment that day and it turned into
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: a great decision. You'll say, hey, I'm a lucky person.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: I'm just going to do that again. This distinction separating
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: decision quality from outcome quality will make you a sharper
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: thinker than ninety nine percent of people you know, because
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: almost everyone is letting hindsight rewrite their judgment, and hindsight
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: is a liar. Dressed as a teacher. Book number two
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: is Finding Your Element by Ken Robinson. Here's the lesson.
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: You were not designed for one purpose. You were designed
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: for an intersection, and you've probably been looking in the
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: wrong place. Everyone wants to find their passion. Ken Robinson's
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: work helped me realize very early in my life why
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: that search feels so impossible. Because you're looking for one thing,
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: a single calling, one career, one label, one answer to
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: what will you put on earth to do? And that framing,
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: that framing of a single discoverable purpose is why you
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: feel lost. Because for most people, the purpose isn't a
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: single thing. It's an intersection. Robin calls it your element,
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: the place where natural aptitude meets personal passion. Not aptitude alone.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: Plenty of people are good at things they hate, not
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: passion alone. Plenty of people love things they'll never be
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: good at. The element is where the two overlap. And
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: here's what Robinson understood that most career advice ignores. The
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: element is almost never found through introspection. It's found through exposure.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: You can't think your way to your purpose. You have
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: to collide with it. You have to try things, fail
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: at things, stumble into rooms you didn't plan to enter,
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: and pay attention to the moments when time disappears, when
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: the work stops feeling like work and starts feeling like breathing,
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: and those moments will never happen in the place you
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: expected them to. The reason this book changed my life
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: is that it gave me permission to stop searching for
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: one thing and start paying attention to what was already
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: happening at the edges. The skills I was developing over here,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: the curiosity I couldn't explain over there, the conversations that
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: energized me that had nothing to do with my job title.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: Robinson showed me that the element isn't found by narrowing down.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: It's found by paying attention to where your different interests, skills,
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: and fascinations collide. Mine happened to be monk teachings with
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: media and with management, and when I worked in business.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: The intersection is the purpose, and you've probably been standing
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: in it for years without recognizing it because it doesn't
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: match the single label format the world told you to
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: look for. Book number three is The Organized Mind by
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: Daniel Leviton. Here's the lesson. Your brain was never designed
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: to hold the life you're asking it to hold, and
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: every ounce of mental clutter is costing you intelligence. This
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: is the book that made me understand why I felt
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: stupid on my most productive days and sharp on my
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: laziest ones. And the reason was embarrassingly simple. I was
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: using my brain wrong, not metaphorically, neurologically. Daniel Leviton is
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: a neuroscientist at McGill University, and his core argument is
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: devastating in its clarity. Your brain's processing capacity is finite
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: and measurable. Every decision you make, what to eat, what
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: to wear, whether to answer that text, where you put
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: your keys uses the same neural resources as your most
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: important creative and analytical work. Your brain does not have
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: separate budgets for trivial decisions and important decisions. It is
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: one budget, and you are blowing most of it before
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: noon on things that don't matter. The research he sites
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: is staggering. The average person makes approximately thirty five thousand
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: decisions per day, thirty five thousand. Most of them are
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: micro decisions you don't even notice, but your prefront or
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: cortex notices every single one, and each one drains the
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: same tank that you need for the work that actually matters.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Here's the idea that rewired me. Every piece of information
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: you're holding in your head instead of writing down, every decision,
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: you're making in real time, instead of making in advance,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: every open loop you're tracking mentally instead of externally. All
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: of it is taxing your working memory and reducing your
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: available IQ literally, not figuratively. You're making yourself measure dumber
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: by trying to keep everything in your head. The fix
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: is not productivity hacks. The fix is externalization. Get everything
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: out of your head and into a system, any system.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Write down the decisions, automate the routines, put the keys
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: in the same place every day. Not because your type A,
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: because every micro decision you eliminate frees up neural bandwidth
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: for the thinking that actually matters. The most organized people
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: in the world aren't organized because they love order. They're
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: organized because they understand the neurological cost of disorder and
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: they refuse to pay it. Book number four is the
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: Courage to be disliked. Here's the lesson. You're not living
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: your life. You're living your fear of other people's judgment,
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: and it has cost you everything authentic about you. This
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: is the book that makes you angry. First and feel free. Second,
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: because it's central argument attacks the one thing most of
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: us have built our entire identity around and we don't
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: even realize it. The book is structured as a conversation
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: between a philosopher and a young man. The philosopher draws
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: on the work of Alfred Adler, the third giant of
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: psychology alongside Freud and Young, whose ideas have been largely
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: overlooked in the West but are foundational in Japan. And
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Adler's central claim is the one thing that will make
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: you want to throw this book across the room before
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: you realize it's true. All problems are interpersonal relationship problems,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: every single one, not most all. Your anxiety about your career,
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: that's anxiety about how other people will judge your career.
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: Your dissatisfaction with your body, that's dissatisfaction filtered through how
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: you believe others perceive your body. Your reluctance to pursue
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: the thing you actually want. That's calculation, unconscious, instant, and
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: devastating about what pursuing it would cost you in other
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: people's eyes. Adler called this separation of tasks, and it's
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: the single most liberating frame work I've ever encountered. The
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: idea is this, in any situation, there are your tasks
• 11:06
  Speaker 1: and there are other people's tasks. Your task is to
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: live according to your values, to do your best work,
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: to be honest, to act with integrity. Other people's task
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: is to have their opinion about it. Their judgment is
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: their task, not yours. And the moment you start doing
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: your tasks while also trying to manage their tasks, their perceptions,
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: their expectations, their approval, you lose the ability to do
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: either one. Well, here's what makes this so difficult. Doctor
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Naomi Eisenberger's fMRI research at UCLA, the same research that
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: showed social rejection activates the brain's physical pain matrix, explains
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: why we're so enslaved to the opinions of others. Disapproval
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: doesn't feel like an option, It feels like a threat.
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: Your nervous system processes the possibility of being disliked using
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: the same neural hardware it uses is for physical danger.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: So when I tell you to stop caring what people think,
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: your brain here is stop protecting yourself from harm. No wonder,
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: it sounds impossible, But here's what the book showed me
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: that changed everything. The freedom you're looking for the freedom
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: to pursue what matters to you, to be who you
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: actually are, to stop performing and start living. That freedom
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: has a price, and the price is being disliked, not
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: by everyone, but by some people. The people who preferred
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: the performing version of you, the people whose expectations you
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: were carrying, the people whose approval was running your life
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: without your conscious permission. You cannot be free and universally
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: approved of at the same time. Those two things are
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: mutually exclusive. Every authentic life in human history has been
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: built on the willingness to disappoint someone, and the person
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: you're most afraid of disappointing is almost certainly the person
• 12:57
  Speaker 1: who's approval has been costing you the most, controlling you
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: the most. The courage to be disliked is not arrogance,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: it's not selfishness. It's the prerequisite for an honest life.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: An honest life, Adler would argue, and I now believe,
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: is the only life that doesn't eventually collapse under the
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: weight of its own performance. Mother's Day is a moment
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: to pause and really think about the woman who shaped
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: so much of who we are, the one who dreamed
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: before we knew how to dream. For ourselves, the one
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: who kept going even when things were hard, the one
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: who showed up again and again, often without needing recognition.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: This Mother's Day, celebrate her with something that reflects not
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: just what she's done, but who she is. With Pandora Jewelry,
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: you can choose a piece that holds meaning, something that
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: represents your relationship, your memories, your journey together and what
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: I love is how you can make it personal. You
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: can engrave something in your own handwriting a date, a name,
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: of phrase that only the two of you understand. Because
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: sometimes the smallest details carry the deepest meaning. Because the
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: best Mother's Day gift doesn't just say I love you,
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: It says I see You find the perfect Mother's Day
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: gift at your local Pandora store or online at Pandora
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: dot Net. Book number five, Thinking Fast and Slow by
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Daniel Kahnman the lesson you have two brains and they're
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: lying to each other, and the one you trust most
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: is the one that's wrong most often. This book showed
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: me that the machine I was using to navigate the world,
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: my own brain, is far less reliable than I believed. Conman,
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: who won the Nobel Prize in Economics despite being a psychologist,
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: which would tell you something about the importance of his work.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: Spent decades with his research partner Amos Tweersky, mapping the
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: systematic errors in human judgment, not random errors, systematic ones,
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: predictable ones, errors that repeat across every culture, every education level,
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: every IQ bracket. His framework is perceptively simple. You have
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: two cognitive systems. System one is fast, automatic, intuitive, and effortless.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: It's the system that reads facial expressions, finishes sentences, and
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: makes snap judgments in milliseconds. System two is slow, deliberate, analytical,
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: and effortful. It's the system that does math, evaluates evidence,
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: and makes complex decisions. Here's the problem. System one runs
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: the show approximately ninety five percent of the time, and
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: System one, for all its speed and efficiency, is riddled
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: with biases. It uses mental shortcuts, heuristics that are often
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: useful but frequently catastrophically wrong. It anchors the irrelevant numbers.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: It confuses how easily it can recall something with how
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: likely that thing is. It substitutes easy questions for hard
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: ones without telling you it made the swap. But the
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: real devastation is this System one doesn't just make errors.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: It makes errors and then delivers the answer to system
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: two with absolute confidentdence. You don't feel the bias operating,
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: You feel the certainty. The intuition arrives, and it feels right.
• 16:07
  Speaker 1: It feels like truth. And System two, which is supposed
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: to be the fact checker, is lazy. It mostly rubber
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: stamps whatever System one delivers, because engaging system two is
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: metabolically expensive. Your brain would rather be wrong effortlessly than
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: right effort fully. The single idea that changed my life,
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: The feeling of certainty is not evidence of accuracy. The
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: strength of your intuition about something, how right it feels,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: how obvious it seems, how confident you are, has almost
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: no correlation with whether you're actually correct. Canman proved this
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: across hundreds of studies. Confidence is not a signal of truth.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: It is a signal of cognitive fluency. It means the
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: thought was easy to produce. That's it. After this book,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I started treating my strongest intuitions with the most suspicion,
• 16:58
  Speaker 1: not the least, because the most when I feel most
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: certain are precisely the moments when System one is most
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: likely to hijacked the process and the question I now
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: ask myself before every important decision. Am I sure about
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: this because I've thought it through? Or am I sure
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: about this because it feels easy? Has saved me from
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: more bad calls than any other mental tool I own.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: Book number six is called Flow by me Hi Chick
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: sent me High. Here's the lesson. Happiness is not a
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: destination or an emotion. It's a state of absorption that
• 17:34
  Speaker 1: you can engineer. This is the book that solved the
• 17:37
  Speaker 1: happiness question for me, not by answering it, by making
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: me realize I'd been asking the wrong question entirely. Most
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: people spend their twenties chasing happiness as if it were
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: a place they could arrive at. If they got the
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: right job, the right relationship, the right body, the right
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: bank balance, they'd arrived, they'd feel it. The pursuer would
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: be over Flow takes it differently. Me Hi Jick sent
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: me High. As psychologist whose name I practice pronouncing for
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: longer than I'd like to admit, studied happiness for decades,
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: not by asking people if they were happy, by interrupting
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: people throughout their day and asking what they were doing
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: and how they felt in that moment. Thousands of people,
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands of data points across cultures, demographics, and
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: income levels. What he found destroyed the conventional model. The
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: moments when people reported the highest levels of fulfillment, joy,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: and aliveness were not moments of relaxation, leisure, or reward.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: There were moments of deep absorption in a challenging task,
• 18:36
  Speaker 1: moments where their skill level was perfectly matched to the
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: difficulty of what they were doing, not too easy, not
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: too hard, but right at the edge of their ability.
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: Let me explain this. If you're doing something where your
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: skills are above the challenge, you'll feel bored. If you
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: do something where your challenge is above your skills, you'll
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: feel lost and confused. But if you have your challenge
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: in your skills match, you will experience flow. So in
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: any given situation, you either have to increase your skills
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: or increase your challenge. Mihi called this flow state. The
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: people who experienced the most flow, and therefore the most
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: moment to moment happiness, were not the wealthiest, not the
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: most successful, or the most celebrated. They were the ones
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: who had structured their lives around activities that demanded their
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: full attention and pushed the edge of their capability This
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: means happiness is not something you achieve after the work
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: is done. It's something you experience during the work, if
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: the work is the right challenge and the right skill.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: Book Number seven is The Lean Startup by Eric Rice.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: Here's the lesson. You don't fail because you built the
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: wrong thing. You fail because you built the perfect version
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: of something nobody asked for. This is the book that
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: cured me of the most dangerous mindset you can develop
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: in your twenties, perfectionism disguised as preparation. Here's what I
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: used to do. I'd have an idea for a project,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: to business, a piece of content, a life change, whatever,
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: and for weeks, sometimes months, I'd be perfecting, refining, trying
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: to figure it out, making sure it was exactly right
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: before I showed it to anyone. And then when I
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: finally revealed this polished, meticulously crafted thing to the world,
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: the world would shrug, not because the execution was bad,
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: but because the premise was wrong. I'd spent months building
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: a beautiful answer to a question nobody was asking. Eric
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: Ryce calls this the fundamental startup fallacy, and it applies
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: to far more than startups. It applies to careers. Creative work,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: to relationships, to every domain where you're building something you
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: hope other people will value. The fallacy is this, you
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: assume you know what people want, you build the complete
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: version in isolation, and you treat the launch as a
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: single high stakes part or fail moment. That model fails
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: at a staggering rate, not because of bad execution, but
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: because of untested assumptions. Rise's solution is the minimum viable product,
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: the MVP, and the MVP is not, as most people think,
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: a worst version of your idea. It's the smallest possible
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: version that lets you test whether your core assumption is
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: correct before you invest months or years building on top
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: of it. It's not about lowering your standards. It's about
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: learning before you build, rather than building and hoping you learn.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: Here's the idea that rewired me. The fastest path to
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: something great is not perfecting. It's exposing your imperfect thing
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: to reality as early as possible, listening to what reality
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: says back, and iterating ship it ugly, ship it, in complete,
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: Ship it scared because a mediocre thing that has been
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: tested against the real world will evolve into something greater
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: faster than a perfect thing that has only been tested
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: against your own assumptions. This applies to everything businesses, for sure,
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: but not just products. That conversation you've been rehearsing in
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: your head for weeks, have the messy version. Now that
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: career change you've been planning in a spreadsheet for six months.
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: Run a small experiment this week. That creative project you
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: keep perfecting in private, Publish the rough draft, the video,
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: the podcast, whatever it may be. Let reality be your editor.
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: It's better at the job than you are. Book number
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: eight is The Righteous Mind by Jonathan Height. You can
• 22:24
  Speaker 1: tell I've read this one a few terms. I've lost
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: the cover. Here's the lesson. You don't use reason to
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: form your beliefs. You use your beliefs to select your reasons.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: And everyone you disagree with is doing the same thing.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: This is the book that changed how I debate and
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: discuss things, how I listen, and how I think about
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: every person I've ever dismissed as wrong. Jonathan Height is
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: a social psychologist to NYU, and his central argument is
• 22:51
  Speaker 1: one of the most humbling findings in modern psychology. Moral
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: reasoning is not what you think it is. You think
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: you arrive at your moral and polite beliefs through careful thought, evidence, evaluation,
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: and logical analysis. You don't. You arrive at them through intuition,
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: a fast, automatic emotional response, and then you construct rational
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: sounding arguments after the fact to justify what you already feel.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Height's metaphor is devastating. Reason is not the driver, it's
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: the press secretary. The driver is intuition. The press secretary's
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: job is not to seek truth. It's to defend the
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: position the driver already took. And the press secretary is
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: brilliant at its job. It can find evidence for anything.
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: It can construct a compelling case for any position, not
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: because the position is correct, because that's what press secretaries do.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: This means that when you're in an argument with someone
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: about values, about any charge topic, you're not watching two
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: rational minds clash. You're watching two press secretaries perform. Neither
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: one is seeking truth. Both are defending the intuition that
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: was already there before the first word was spoken. But
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: here's the part that should change how you engage with
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: everyone you disagree with. Height identify six moral foundations care, fairness, liberty, loyalty, authority,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: and sanctity that function like taste buds for moral judgment.
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: Different people in different cultures weight these foundations differently. Liberals
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: tend to weight care and fairness heavily, and discount loyalty, authority,
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: and sanctity. Conservatives tend to weight all six more equally.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Neither configuration is wrong. They're different moral palettes, and the
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: person you think is insane, the person whose views make
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: no sense to you, whose positions seem cruel or naive
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: or backwards, is not operating without morality. They're operating on
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: a different combination of the same moral ingredients you use.
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: They're tasting the same meal with a different tongue. After
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: this book, I stop trying to win arguments, because winning
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: an argument means convincing someone's press secretary, which changes nothing. Instead,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: I started trying to understand which moral foundations the other
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: person was weighing most heavily. What are they actually protecting,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: What value are they afraid of losing? What do they
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: care about that I'm not seeing The moment you understand
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: someone's moral foundation, even if you disagree with their conclusion,
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: something shifts. They stop seeming like an idiot to you.
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: They become a person navigating the same complex world with
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: a different moral instrument panel. And that shift from dismissal
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: to understanding is not weakness. It's the beginning of actual wisdom.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: Book number nine is the Barga Ghita. Here's the lesson.
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: You have the right to the work, but never to
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: the fruit of the work. And this single idea makes
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: every other book on this list makes sense. I told
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: you at the beginning to stay for this one. It's
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: a conversation between a warrior named Origin and his charity,
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: a Krishna, who also happens to be God. Origin is
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: standing on a battlefield about to enter a war, and
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: he's paralyzed not by fear, but by overthinking his calculating outcomes,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: weighing consequences, trapped in the infinite loop of what if
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: I'm wrong? Sound familiar. Christian's instruction to Origin, the central
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: teaching of the entire text, is contained in one verse,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: chapter two, verse forty seven, and it is, without exaggeration,
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: the single most powerful operating instruction I have ever encountered.
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: You have the right to your work, but never to
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: the fruit of the work. Let not the fruit of
• 26:29
  Speaker 1: action be your motive, nor let your attachment be inaction.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Now think about that again, slowly, and let me explain it.
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: You have the right to the work. You control the work,
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: You control the process, You don't control the result. The
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: work is where all your focus should be, because the
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: result is something you don't have full control over. Here's
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: what this looks like in practice. It doesn't mean you
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: don't care about results. It doesn't mean you don't have goals.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: It means you do the work with everything you have,
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: full effort, full presence, full integrity, and then you open
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: your hands. Whatever comes back comes back. If the result
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: is what you hope for. Good if it isn't, also
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: good because your self worth was never attached to it.
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: Your identity was never riding on it. You did the work.
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: That's the only thing that was ever yours. Most of
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: us can't do this. Most of us need the result
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: to validate the effort. I work so hard so I
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: deserve the outcome. But when we work that way, we
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: often get depleted if we don't get the outcome. The
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: Geita doesn't say stop wanting. It says stop needing the
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: result to be the way you want it to be.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Work toward it, but don't need it to be the
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: way you want it to be, because the moment you
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: need it to be a certain way you've handed your
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: piece to a variable you don't control. Book number ten
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: is Breath by James Nestor. Here's the lesson. The most
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: powerful tool you have for changing your mental state is
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: not in your mind. It's the thing you've been doing
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: wrong forty thousand times a day. I'm ending with this
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: book because after nine books about the mind, how it thinks,
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: how it decides, how it deceives, how it suffers, this
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: book lands you back in the body, and that's exactly
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: where you need to end up. James Nestor is a
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: journalist who spent years investigating something so basic, so overlooked,
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: so absurdly fundamental, that the fact we ignore it should
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: embarrass us. Breathing the thing you do approximately twenty thousand
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: times a day, the thing you've never been taught to
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: do correctly, the thing that is, according to the research
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: nest to compiles, the single most direct lever you have
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: for altering your nervous system, your cognitive function, your stress response,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: your sleep, and your emotional state. Here's the finding from
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: the book that I think about every single day. Nestor
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: participated in a study at Stanford where participants had their
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: noses completely blocked for ten days, forcing them to breathe
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: exclusively through their mouths. Within days, not weeks, their blood
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: pressure increased, their heart rate variably tanked, their stress hormone spite,
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: their sleep quality collapsed, their cognitive performance measurably declined. They
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: experienced anxiety, brain frog and exhaustion from changing nothing in
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: their lives except the pathway through which air entered their body.
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: Then they switched back to nasal breathing, and every single
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: metric reversed. This should stop you in your tracks. Nasal
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: breathing versus mouth breathing. That was the variable, and it
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: shifted everything to science is extensive. Nasal breathing filters and
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: humidifies air, increases nitric oxide production, which dilates blood vessels,
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: and improves oxygen absorption, activates the parasympathetic nervous system and
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: engages the diaphragm in a way that mouth breathing does not.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: The body is the foundation, and the single fastest way
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: to change the state of your body is the thing
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: you're doing right now as you watch this without thinking
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: about it. The breath. Slow it down, breathe through your nose.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: Extend the excel five seconds in seven seconds, out. The
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: way you breathe while you work, while you drive, while
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: you speak, while you work out will change your life.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: I'm so glad you watched this video. I hope that
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: you will take a moment to dive into one of
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: these books this month. Let me know in the comments
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: which one you're excited to read. I can't wait to
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: see what you learn. Thank you for being here. Remember
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: I forever in your corner and I'm always rooting for you.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: If you love this episode, you'll enjoy my interview with
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: doctor Daniel Ahman on how to change your life by
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: changing your brain. They don't do things until someone's mad
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: at them to get it done. They need stress in
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: order to get stuff done, and that just makes everybody
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: around them stressed.