Latest / The Trauma Therapist / The Complex Trauma Training Center with Brad Kammer
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Welcome to the Trauma Therapist Podcast. My name is Gaming Person.
- 0:04Speaker 1: I interview incredible people who've dedicated their lives to helping
- 0:07Speaker 1: those who've been impacted by trauma. A big thank you
- 0:11Speaker 1: to our sponsors and our guests who are supporting this show.
- 0:15Speaker 1: So five four, three, two and one, our folks, welcome
- 0:19Speaker 1: back to the podcast. I'm really excited to have back
- 0:22Speaker 1: Brad camera. Brad, welcome back, my friend.
- 0:25Speaker 2: Yeah, Hi, guys. Always such a pleasure to have these
- 0:29Speaker 2: thirty minute intervals every couple of years, reconnect and Yeah,
- 0:33Speaker 2: I just love so much of what you're putting out
- 0:35Speaker 2: in the world. So thank you for it including me
- 0:38Speaker 2: in the process.
- 0:39Speaker 1: Awesome. I appreciate that. So. Brad is a licensed psychotherapist, educator,
- 0:43Speaker 1: and the founder and director of the Complex Trauma Training Center.
- 0:47Speaker 1: He's a co author of The Practical Guide for Healing
- 0:50Speaker 1: Developmental Trauma and executive producer of the Transforming Trauma Podcast.
- 0:55Speaker 1: For more than twenty five years, Brad has worked at
- 0:57Speaker 1: the Intersection of Psychology or by All G and somatics,
- 1:01Speaker 1: training therapists worldwide through the NORM model and his Space
- 1:05Speaker 1: program for Interdevelopment. Beginning his career in humanitarian aid work,
- 1:09Speaker 1: across Asia. He's dedicated his life to understanding and transforming
- 1:13Speaker 1: complex trauma in the effects of early adversity. All right, Brad, obviously,
- 1:19Speaker 1: just a little bit about you before we get going.
- 1:22Speaker 1: Share with the listeners where you're from originally and where
- 1:24Speaker 1: you are currently, and then we will dive in.
- 1:26Speaker 2: All right, Well, I was born in Baltimore, Maryland, but
- 1:30Speaker 2: I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio. So my family all
- 1:33Speaker 2: lives back in the Midwest in Ohio, and I've been
- 1:37Speaker 2: living here in northern California for about twenty years now,
- 1:41Speaker 2: a couple hours north of San Francisco, in a small
- 1:44Speaker 2: town called Yukaia in Mendocino County. So yeah, that's where
- 1:50Speaker 2: I am. I'm actually in a new house right now
- 1:52Speaker 2: because we had a pretty significant chock trauma that happened
- 1:56Speaker 2: a few months ago where I lost my house in
- 1:58Speaker 2: a fire.
- 2:00Speaker 1: Oh my god.
- 2:00Speaker 2: So we're in a new, beautiful rental house. But my
- 2:04Speaker 2: family and myself have been kind of luckily had a
- 2:07Speaker 2: lot of good trauma skills and a lot of good
- 2:09Speaker 2: support over the last couple of months. And yeah, what happened, Well,
- 2:15Speaker 2: this is a good kind of PSA. I guess it
- 2:17Speaker 2: was an e bike. We had our e bike charging
- 2:20Speaker 2: outside and they think that the battery just combusted or
- 2:23Speaker 2: whatever they call it. Oh yeah, and I was the
- 2:26Speaker 2: only one home, luckily, so but yeah, those those fires
- 2:31Speaker 2: are really hot. The e bike batteries exploded an incredible heat.
- 2:36Speaker 2: So if you do have an e bike, you know,
- 2:38Speaker 2: they build these little cases that you can get that
- 2:41Speaker 2: really help if they do explode. But you know, I
- 2:43Speaker 2: never thought about when you get onto an airplane and
- 2:45Speaker 2: they say, like, you know, anyone have lithium batteries. I'd
- 2:48Speaker 2: never even thought that. That's why they asked, because lithium
- 2:51Speaker 2: batteries have a history of exploding. So anyways, you know,
- 2:57Speaker 2: these things come into our lives for different reasons, and
- 3:00Speaker 2: so just trying to kind of learn and look at
- 3:03Speaker 2: the silver linings of it.
- 3:04Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, wow. All right, So we're going to be
- 3:09Speaker 1: talking about this book here today, the Workbook for Healing
- 3:15Speaker 1: Developmental Trauma, Tools and Techniques from the neuro Effective Relational
- 3:19Speaker 1: Model otherwise known as NORM and ARM your co author
- 3:25Speaker 1: with Lawrence Heller, doctor Lawrence Heller. So let's give our
- 3:31Speaker 1: listeners kind of a the thumbnail of what NORM is
- 3:35Speaker 1: and then segue into the book. But before we do that,
- 3:41Speaker 1: I just want to even lead up to that with
- 3:43Speaker 1: a little bit how did you get into this field
- 3:45Speaker 1: in the first place?
- 3:46Speaker 2: Anyway? For listeners, Yeah, yeah, I mean Larry and I
- 3:50Speaker 2: have both been on your podcast several times, which is cool,
- 3:53Speaker 2: so thanks again for having us on. And I shared
- 3:57Speaker 2: a little bit in one of them about I worked
- 4:00Speaker 2: with Burmese refugees in Asia, so I worked in humanitarian
- 4:04Speaker 2: aid and I was just kind of blown away by
- 4:08Speaker 2: the levels of individual and collective trauma. And even at
- 4:11Speaker 2: that time, I didn't even have that word in my vocabulary, trauma.
- 4:15Speaker 2: I got introduced that word when I came back to
- 4:17Speaker 2: the States and was talking to one of my supervisors,
- 4:22Speaker 2: and I was explaining what I was interested in based
- 4:25Speaker 2: on my experiences working with Burmese refugees, and he's like, oh,
- 4:28Speaker 2: you're interested in the field of trauma. And I said, oh, okay,
- 4:31Speaker 2: Well I didn't realize that, but yes, I guess I am.
- 4:35Speaker 1: What about that? What about that? What about those people?
- 4:38Speaker 1: Got you going? Well?
- 4:41Speaker 2: I think now, after all these years, I've really realized that.
- 4:44Speaker 2: I think it really evoked something about my own intergenerational
- 4:48Speaker 2: and cultural trauma. I you know, the Burmese people that
- 4:52Speaker 2: I worked with were very oppressed and were being targeted
- 4:55Speaker 2: and attacked and killed and enslaved and all sorts of
- 4:59Speaker 2: just things. And you know, at the time, I don't
- 5:02Speaker 2: think I was so conscious of about what that evoked
- 5:04Speaker 2: inside of me and my family lineage and my history.
- 5:09Speaker 2: But something awakened for sure in me that I wanted
- 5:11Speaker 2: to serve. I wanted to help people both on the
- 5:13Speaker 2: collective and in individual level. And then when I got
- 5:17Speaker 2: introduced to the trauma field, which was right around two
- 5:20Speaker 2: thousand or so, it was a really exciting time because
- 5:23Speaker 2: you know bessel vand Koch's this was pre his popular book,
- 5:28Speaker 2: but he was getting a lot of notoriety, and of
- 5:31Speaker 2: course Judith Herman and you know these folks that were
- 5:33Speaker 2: it was still kind of at the beginning stages of
- 5:35Speaker 2: the field getting popular. And I came into sematic experiencing
- 5:40Speaker 2: with Peter Levine and that's where Larry was a senior
- 5:44Speaker 2: teacher at that point in the sematic experiencing work, and
- 5:47Speaker 2: I got really interested in working more with relational and
- 5:50Speaker 2: complex trauma, and so I spent you know, many years
- 5:54Speaker 2: learning about kind of shock trauma through the sematic experiencing model,
- 5:58Speaker 2: but I felt like there was more out there that
- 6:00Speaker 2: I wanted to study, so started studying attachment and interpersonal neurobiology.
- 6:05Speaker 2: And then when Larry started putting together NORM, that's when
- 6:09Speaker 2: I kind of really started going deeper into becoming a
- 6:12Speaker 2: ment you know. He mentored me and then we became
- 6:14Speaker 2: partners in teaching, and that's kind of how the whole
- 6:17Speaker 2: NORM journey took place.
- 6:20Speaker 1: So let's talk about NORM. How do you describe it?
- 6:24Speaker 2: Yeah, So, the neuro effective relational model is about working
- 6:28Speaker 2: with complex trauma. That's a big term and in the
- 6:32Speaker 2: United States the diagnosis isn't even fully approved or accepted
- 6:36Speaker 2: yet CPTSD complex post tramac stress disorder. It basically adds
- 6:41Speaker 2: on to PTSD three new categories, so it adds on
- 6:45Speaker 2: affectis regulation, self concept or what they call negative self concept,
- 6:51Speaker 2: and interpersonal disturbances. So that's really what we work on
- 6:54Speaker 2: in NORM. We work on those three categories. We work
- 6:57Speaker 2: on relationships and how relationship to get disrupted from our
- 7:01Speaker 2: early blueprints of life and our earliest relationships. We work
- 7:06Speaker 2: with affect regulation. We work both top down and bottom
- 7:09Speaker 2: up with that, so we work through the body, but
- 7:12Speaker 2: we also work through the beliefs and the narratives that
- 7:15Speaker 2: we have. And then that last piece is so core
- 7:18Speaker 2: of negative self concept because we work with self, we
- 7:21Speaker 2: work with identity, we work with how that gets fragmented
- 7:24Speaker 2: and how you know, so much of what we're trying
- 7:27Speaker 2: to do in our adult lives is to kind of
- 7:29Speaker 2: return back home, is to find our authentic selves, and
- 7:33Speaker 2: the strategies we used to do that are often leading
- 7:35Speaker 2: us further away from that. And so how do we
- 7:37Speaker 2: support people to come back home to themselves in a secure,
- 7:43Speaker 2: a live way.
- 7:45Speaker 1: So interesting to hear those different pillars in a sense,
- 7:49Speaker 1: and would you say those are particularly necessary to address
- 7:56Speaker 1: complex trauma as opposed to what other types of trauma,
- 8:00Speaker 1: shock trauma or single instant in trauma.
- 8:04Speaker 2: Yeah, we do differentiate it. In the normal work, there's
- 8:07Speaker 2: a lot of overlap and people often in the trauma
- 8:10Speaker 2: field that have a lot of hot debates about this,
- 8:12Speaker 2: and I try to stay out of those debates. But
- 8:15Speaker 2: in the narm work, we do differentiate shock trauma works
- 8:19Speaker 2: with different neurobiological systems. Generally this is very simplistic, but
- 8:23Speaker 2: generally having to do with fear, fight, flight, freeze, whereas
- 8:29Speaker 2: again very simplistic developmental and complex trauma. Relational trauma has
- 8:33Speaker 2: much more to do with the shame, the psycho biology
- 8:36Speaker 2: psychobiology of shame and the way that we shut ourselves
- 8:39Speaker 2: down around relationship and belonging, and that that's a survival
- 8:45Speaker 2: strategy to kind of protect ourselves when there's relational failure
- 8:49Speaker 2: of relational loss. But it does trigger a whole different
- 8:53Speaker 2: kind of neurocircuitry that you know, we believe in norm
- 8:58Speaker 2: that you need a different kind of approach than some
- 9:02Speaker 2: of them were strictly shock trauma models.
- 9:05Speaker 1: When you got it, I want to we're going to
- 9:07Speaker 1: want to get into the book more specifically and also
- 9:13Speaker 1: the training center. But as you started to get in
- 9:18Speaker 1: study trauma and get into this field, how did you,
- 9:23Speaker 1: how did you do? How are you feeling? How how
- 9:26Speaker 1: was it for you to work in that field, in
- 9:30Speaker 1: this field when you were kind of just starting out.
- 9:34Speaker 2: I love the questions you bring. Yeah, well, I mean
- 9:38Speaker 2: I think like a lot of people and a lot
- 9:40Speaker 2: of people on your podcast, I mean, so many of
- 9:42Speaker 2: us came into it, whether it was conscious or not,
- 9:45Speaker 2: to learn about ourselves to heal ourselves. So I think
- 9:49Speaker 2: there was I was I've always been, including now like
- 9:52Speaker 2: on these two tracks, which feel very connected, the professional
- 9:56Speaker 2: and the personal. I love that about our field of
- 9:59Speaker 2: being a therap where we can use our professional work
- 10:03Speaker 2: to learn more about ourselves. I strongly believe that the
- 10:07Speaker 2: quality of presence and effectiveness of therapists is impacted or
- 10:12Speaker 2: dictated by our ongoing work on ourselves, in ourselves or
- 10:17Speaker 2: lack thereof or lack there yeah. Yeah, And you know,
- 10:21Speaker 2: I'm very passionate about the field of psychotherapy, and it
- 10:24Speaker 2: pains me to hear clients who reach out. There's a
- 10:27Speaker 2: lot of obstacles in the way of humans getting therapy,
- 10:31Speaker 2: and then they reach out and then they have these
- 10:32Speaker 2: negative experiences or at least not helpful experiences, and that
- 10:36Speaker 2: pains me, which is part of why I've created the
- 10:39Speaker 2: center to kind of do ongoing, deeper training for therapists
- 10:42Speaker 2: outside of you know, graduate school. And so yeah, early on,
- 10:47Speaker 2: I've always been looking for mentors. I've always been looking
- 10:50Speaker 2: for a professional community. I felt very alone even when
- 10:54Speaker 2: I was working in clinics and working in agencies or
- 10:57Speaker 2: group practices. I you know, I've looked for I believe
- 11:02Speaker 2: that we need to be in relationship and to do
- 11:05Speaker 2: this work well and to sustain ourselves in a healthy
- 11:08Speaker 2: way in this career. So that's always been something I've
- 11:12Speaker 2: been looking for, and this opportunity in the last couple
- 11:15Speaker 2: of years to create this complex trauma training center has
- 11:17Speaker 2: been you know, very very much. What's the word, like
- 11:25Speaker 2: a I don't know, actualizing something that's been a dream
- 11:29Speaker 2: of mine for a long time and it's been really
- 11:31Speaker 2: exciting to be part of that.
- 11:33Speaker 1: Well, let's talk about that. So what did you want
- 11:38Speaker 1: to do when you How did you come up? How
- 11:40Speaker 1: did you get to the point where like I want
- 11:41Speaker 1: to I want to create this center and why?
- 11:45Speaker 2: I mean, there's so much to this question. It's again
- 11:47Speaker 2: a great question. I think. One of the things is
- 11:49Speaker 2: like in the you know, I was in the Somatic
- 11:51Speaker 2: Experiencing community for a long time. One of the things
- 11:54Speaker 2: that I heard a lot of people complaining about is
- 11:56Speaker 2: like once they finished the training, it's a three year
- 11:58Speaker 2: training there and this has changed a lot since then,
- 12:01Speaker 2: But back in the old days, there was nothing left
- 12:03Speaker 2: to do, like unless you were going to become an
- 12:06Speaker 2: assistant for the trainings, like there was nothing else. So
- 12:09Speaker 2: it's like you went so deep into this community and
- 12:11Speaker 2: then boom, you're done and you're gone, and yeah, people stay,
- 12:16Speaker 2: you know a little bit in relationship, but there's nothing
- 12:19Speaker 2: that people can come back to to feel that community support.
- 12:22Speaker 2: And so that was just something I really started listening
- 12:25Speaker 2: to and feeling in myself. And so when Larry and
- 12:28Speaker 2: I started getting together and we created the arm Train Institute,
- 12:31Speaker 2: that was something that I was bringing about my desire
- 12:34Speaker 2: to kind of create a professional home for people. And
- 12:39Speaker 2: so that's kind of been my development of wanting to
- 12:41Speaker 2: really even expand it beyond just norm therapists, which is
- 12:45Speaker 2: why you know, we ended up creating the Complex Trauma
- 12:48Speaker 2: Training Center because we wanted it to be a community
- 12:50Speaker 2: that people could come from, different clinical backgrounds, different modalities
- 12:54Speaker 2: that people use to really learn these very core principles
- 12:58Speaker 2: of like what it is like to be a huge
- 13:00Speaker 2: human that is practicing these modalities and how do we
- 13:04Speaker 2: be human together and learn together, grow together, support each
- 13:07Speaker 2: other with all of our really difficult clients and cases.
- 13:10Speaker 2: And yeah, so that was really a lot of the
- 13:13Speaker 2: impetus of what I was feeling into and starting to
- 13:16Speaker 2: dream up that's really cool.
- 13:18Speaker 1: So not merely a community to support the professional development,
- 13:27Speaker 1: but a community to support the human development, which feeds
- 13:32Speaker 1: obviously feeds into one's professional development exactly. Yeah, yeah, wow wow,
- 13:38Speaker 1: very cool. So all right, that's the Complex Trauma Training
- 13:43Speaker 1: Center and as you said, like anyone from any background
- 13:47Speaker 1: can join that.
- 13:48Speaker 2: Yeah, we have different programs. I mean, we offer NORM training,
- 13:52Speaker 2: so for people that want to get clinically trained in
- 13:54Speaker 2: armed we offer those, which is awesome. But we've been
- 13:58Speaker 2: developing more what we call these inside out programs for therapists.
- 14:02Speaker 2: So we have one this year that we launched called SPACE.
- 14:06Speaker 2: It's an acronym. It's for Supporting Presence, Awareness, Connection and
- 14:11Speaker 2: Embodiment for therapists. And it's like inside out learning, so
- 14:15Speaker 2: it's not like we're teaching a whole set of curriculum.
- 14:18Speaker 2: We're basically taking topics that are very common topics for therapists,
- 14:22Speaker 2: like different topics around counter transference and other patterns that
- 14:26Speaker 2: come up, and we're really exploring it both internally for
- 14:30Speaker 2: ourselves and in relationship to this community that we're all
- 14:33Speaker 2: kind of sharing our learning together. So we're creating this
- 14:36Speaker 2: really cool opportunity to really kind of from do inside
- 14:39Speaker 2: out learning, and the next year we're creating new programs
- 14:42Speaker 2: about specific topics. For example, we're going to do a
- 14:46Speaker 2: topic an inside out workshop on narcissism. So instead of
- 14:49Speaker 2: us focusing on calling everyone else a narcissists and diagnosing
- 14:53Speaker 2: our clients, we're going to get to know how it
- 14:55Speaker 2: lives inside of us and yeah, how it's impacted us
- 14:58Speaker 2: from our family systems, and looking at our shadow material
- 15:02Speaker 2: and what we project out onto other people, what we
- 15:04Speaker 2: can you know, we have this exercise like think about
- 15:07Speaker 2: an authority figure or celebrity or someone in power and
- 15:11Speaker 2: think about you like a negative reaction you have to them,
- 15:15Speaker 2: and see if you can locate, like where that's coming
- 15:19Speaker 2: from inside of you and if there's something inside of
- 15:21Speaker 2: yourself that you don't like that you're seeing in them.
- 15:25Speaker 2: And it is a little challenging and evocative and sometimes
- 15:28Speaker 2: even a little painful, but again we go with this
- 15:32Speaker 2: belief that we can't take our clients to places that
- 15:34Speaker 2: we haven't been ourselves, and so doing this internal work,
- 15:38Speaker 2: and even the three of us as teachers before we
- 15:41Speaker 2: go into the class, the three of us are doing
- 15:44Speaker 2: these exercises together on each other or with each other
- 15:48Speaker 2: is a better way to say it. And so we're
- 15:49Speaker 2: going in and then we share some of that transparently,
- 15:52Speaker 2: so that we're not like these experts that are there
- 15:54Speaker 2: to teach you something. We're there because we are doing
- 15:57Speaker 2: this material alongside you.
- 15:59Speaker 1: All love that. Let me just remind everyone. Speaking with
- 16:03Speaker 1: Brad Kamer, founder and director of the Complex Trauma Training
- 16:07Speaker 1: Center and co author along with doctor Lawrence Teller, of
- 16:12Speaker 1: The Practical Guide for Healing Developmental Trauma. All right, let's
- 16:15Speaker 1: get into this book. Yeah, so, which I have right
- 16:18Speaker 1: here again, show everybody workbook implies it germinated from another text.
- 16:28Speaker 2: Yes, okay, what is that? Okay, there's a lineage of text.
- 16:32Speaker 2: So it started with doctor Lawrence Teller and Allen Lapierre.
- 16:37Speaker 2: They put together the first NORM book that came out,
- 16:40Speaker 2: I believe in twenty twelve. It was called Healing Developmental
- 16:42Speaker 2: Trauma that presented the theory of NORM and it was
- 16:48Speaker 2: the very best best selling book within the field of
- 16:51Speaker 2: you know, trauma and psychotherapy. And over the years their
- 16:54Speaker 2: publisher has gotten so many requests for like more clinical
- 16:58Speaker 2: work because it was it was their first attempt to
- 17:01Speaker 2: really formulate this ARM model. And again, beautiful book, a
- 17:04Speaker 2: lot of great theory, a little bit of clinical work,
- 17:07Speaker 2: but not a lot We've developed so much of the
- 17:09Speaker 2: clinical model since those early days where Larry and Aleen
- 17:12Speaker 2: were putting that together. So they were asking Larry all
- 17:17Speaker 2: the time, like, hey, when's the follow up clinical book?
- 17:19Speaker 2: And so Larry and I started working on that and
- 17:22Speaker 2: put out in twenty twenty two, which I think maybe
- 17:26Speaker 2: was the last time I was here, I'm not quite sure,
- 17:28Speaker 2: but we came out with The Practical Guide for Healing
- 17:31Speaker 2: Developmental Trauma. Now that was supposed to be a workbook
- 17:35Speaker 2: and it turned into you know, four hundred plus pages
- 17:40Speaker 2: because we hadn't really presented to the world the clinical
- 17:45Speaker 2: model yet, and so it was a little premature tost
- 17:48Speaker 2: to do a workbook when we hadn't you presented the
- 17:50Speaker 2: clinical model. So we basically took what we were doing
- 17:53Speaker 2: in our clinical trainings and we made it into this
- 17:57Speaker 2: book that does have a lot of like work booky
- 18:00Speaker 2: kind of things in it, like it has some tips
- 18:03Speaker 2: and some exercises, but it wasn't an easy desktop reference
- 18:08Speaker 2: because you have to read these long chapters if you
- 18:10Speaker 2: want to really kind of understand it. So and then
- 18:13Speaker 2: after that, you know, people started saying, like this is awesome,
- 18:16Speaker 2: but like we need something we can have on our
- 18:18Speaker 2: desk when we're working with our clients, and so that's
- 18:22Speaker 2: where the workbook came up. And it's hard. It's hard
- 18:24Speaker 2: to create such a sophisticated model like NARM into a workbook.
- 18:29Speaker 2: So the workbook is one hundred pages still, and we
- 18:31Speaker 2: tried to make it very user friendly, where the chapters
- 18:34Speaker 2: are very short and we have images, and we have
- 18:37Speaker 2: places people can write in the book itself for reflective
- 18:41Speaker 2: exercises or clinical things are doing with their clients. But
- 18:44Speaker 2: it was a challenge to kind of make it user
- 18:47Speaker 2: friendly since the models is such a depth oriented, complex model.
- 18:52Speaker 1: So we obviously have a lot of therapists coaches listening
- 18:55Speaker 1: to this podcast, so break it down a little for us,
- 18:58Speaker 1: get a little specific. How what are they going to
- 19:03Speaker 1: find when they get this and look through this.
- 19:08Speaker 2: Yeah, so they are going to find the core of
- 19:11Speaker 2: the norm clinical approach. So it is designed primarily for
- 19:16Speaker 2: therapists and people that work with complex trauma, but we
- 19:20Speaker 2: do offer ARM trainings for coaches and people that aren't
- 19:24Speaker 2: licensed therapists and educators, people in different fields that are
- 19:28Speaker 2: wanting to take the ARM skills. So that's what we
- 19:30Speaker 2: tried to do. We tried to kind of present the
- 19:32Speaker 2: basic NORM skills so they could learn about them, experience
- 19:36Speaker 2: them themselves, and then apply them. Of course, you can
- 19:39Speaker 2: never fully learn a model out of a book like this,
- 19:42Speaker 2: but start to at least get a feel for how
- 19:45Speaker 2: these skills might be useful for the work they're doing.
- 19:48Speaker 2: That was really our intention to make it as accessible
- 19:50Speaker 2: and user friendly as possible.
- 19:52Speaker 1: So let me just open this up here.
- 20:00Speaker 2: All right, I got it too.
- 20:04Speaker 1: Adaptive Survival Styles is one section NORM, the four pillars NORM,
- 20:13Speaker 1: relational model, NORM, emotional completion model. How might someone utilize
- 20:20Speaker 1: this book? Let's say have a client in mind. Maybe
- 20:24Speaker 1: you can search your database and use someone or as
- 20:29Speaker 1: an example, but walk us through how they might use
- 20:32Speaker 1: the book.
- 20:34Speaker 2: Well, okay, let's say they have a client that they're
- 20:37Speaker 2: feeling pretty stuck with. They can start from the beginning
- 20:40Speaker 2: of how we start a NORM, which is pillar number one,
- 20:43Speaker 2: which is what we call clarifying the therapy to contract.
- 20:47Speaker 2: And this sounds so easy on paper, and it's really
- 20:51Speaker 2: complicated in real time with clients. It's basically just asking
- 20:55Speaker 2: them like what are they most wanting for themselves out
- 20:57Speaker 2: of being in therapy with us? Like what are they
- 20:59Speaker 2: hoping they would get for themselves if they could have
- 21:02Speaker 2: a magic wand even like what would they get for themselves?
- 21:06Speaker 2: Clients are usually not coming in oriented to that. They're
- 21:09Speaker 2: not oriented to their heart's desire. They're oriented to the
- 21:11Speaker 2: symptoms or their distress that they just want to get
- 21:15Speaker 2: rid of or quiet down. And so we start there.
- 21:18Speaker 2: It's okay, clients come in and they're going to start
- 21:21Speaker 2: by I'm working too much or I'm yelling at my
- 21:23Speaker 2: kids too much, like that's a behavior that they want
- 21:26Speaker 2: to stop, or they a symptom that they want to
- 21:29Speaker 2: get rid of. And but we go further, and so
- 21:32Speaker 2: then we're going to in the book. In the workbook,
- 21:34Speaker 2: you're going to see that we start. We have an
- 21:36Speaker 2: acronym for the first pillar. It's called aim Aim. So
- 21:40Speaker 2: we'll start by just asking that general question like what
- 21:43Speaker 2: would you like for yourself? What would you hope for yourself?
- 21:45Speaker 2: And then they might share something behavioral out like I'll
- 21:48Speaker 2: stop yelling at my kids or whatever. And then the
- 21:51Speaker 2: I is the impact question. So we'll follow it up
- 21:54Speaker 2: by saying, so, if you were able to stop yelling
- 21:56Speaker 2: at your kids, you know, what do you hope that
- 21:58Speaker 2: that's going to bring for your life. How is your
- 22:00Speaker 2: life going to look different if you were able to
- 22:02Speaker 2: do that? And that starts to get us into more
- 22:05Speaker 2: of this territory about these internal states that humans are
- 22:08Speaker 2: wanting to return home to. It goes back to the
- 22:12Speaker 2: self concept. It's like, we want to ultimately just feel
- 22:15Speaker 2: good in our lives, good in ourselves, connected to ourselves, connected,
- 22:19Speaker 2: having capacity to be connected with other people. So as
- 22:23Speaker 2: they're able to get into those internal states that they
- 22:25Speaker 2: most desire, which for some clients takes multiple sessions. It
- 22:31Speaker 2: doesn't always just happen right away, but as they are.
- 22:34Speaker 2: Then the last piece of it is what we call
- 22:36Speaker 2: m mirroring, is that we will do NORMI is very
- 22:40Speaker 2: based on consent, so then we will reflect it back.
- 22:43Speaker 2: So okay, so I hear you'd like to explore getting
- 22:48Speaker 2: greater peace in your life. I'm just making that up.
- 22:51Speaker 2: So if you stop you going at your kids, you're
- 22:53Speaker 2: going to have greater peace in your life. And then
- 22:54Speaker 2: the m would be, you know, I'm happy to explore
- 22:57Speaker 2: what's getting in the way of you having more of
- 22:59Speaker 2: that peace in your life. And then we've now set
- 23:02Speaker 2: the stage for starting to explore the different strategies, the
- 23:07Speaker 2: different patterns that are getting in the way of their
- 23:10Speaker 2: heart's desire, getting in the way of what they most
- 23:12Speaker 2: want for themselves, and that then moves us into pillar two,
- 23:16Speaker 2: which then they can start looking at them what we
- 23:18Speaker 2: call asking exploratory questions. So then the way that we
- 23:21Speaker 2: start asking certain questions to try to deconstruct some of
- 23:24Speaker 2: those obstacles that are in their way of connecting to themselves.
- 23:29Speaker 1: Now, is this hypothetical client or this is for clients
- 23:37Speaker 1: who've experienced developmental trauma?
- 23:40Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, I mean, you know, again, we run the
- 23:45Speaker 2: risk of flattening the concept of trauma if we over
- 23:48Speaker 2: extend it, so I'm aware of that. But you know,
- 23:52Speaker 2: it seems pretty likely that people are on a spectrum
- 23:56Speaker 2: of experiencing developmental trauma. There are definitely people that are
- 24:00Speaker 2: that have experienced such significant, profound development attachment intergenerational trauma
- 24:06Speaker 2: that it leads to some of the really significant or
- 24:08Speaker 2: severe mental health conditions personality disorders, schizophrenia. Again, we don't
- 24:13Speaker 2: know exactly the cause and effect of how that happens,
- 24:16Speaker 2: but I think we've had literature and research long enough,
- 24:20Speaker 2: going all the way back to psychoanalysis, that our earliest
- 24:23Speaker 2: moments of life impact our development, the impact our neuro development.
- 24:26Speaker 2: We use a lot of the ACES research to understand
- 24:29Speaker 2: that and that that does affect the way that we
- 24:33Speaker 2: kind of show up. So yeah, we're working with those
- 24:38Speaker 2: impact of developmental trauma. And there is a kind of
- 24:41Speaker 2: a different spectrum for each client. So for example, if
- 24:45Speaker 2: you look at the chapter the section that talks about
- 24:48Speaker 2: the norm personality spectrum, that's how we talk about a spectrum,
- 24:53Speaker 2: and we use that to assess our clients where they're
- 24:55Speaker 2: falling on a spectrum. They can actually use it themselves
- 24:58Speaker 2: if they're interested, they can score themselves or therapists can
- 25:02Speaker 2: score their clients. It's not like an evidence based, like
- 25:05Speaker 2: fully scientifically validated model, but it's a clinically useful model
- 25:10Speaker 2: for tracking ten different psycho biological capacities that clients have
- 25:14Speaker 2: and scoring them on each of those ten one to
- 25:18Speaker 2: ten on each of these ten different levels of psycho
- 25:22Speaker 2: biological capacity, and then coming up with the score. So
- 25:26Speaker 2: let's say this client scores forty five. Again, this is
- 25:29Speaker 2: a subjective thing that the therapists might do with or
- 25:33Speaker 2: for the client, and then that helps us to start
- 25:36Speaker 2: to adapt and inform the clinical approach that we're going
- 25:40Speaker 2: to take because the client has different capacities at different areas,
- 25:44Speaker 2: and we also get to track progress over time, like
- 25:47Speaker 2: maybe they started at a lower score, but now they're
- 25:49Speaker 2: scoring higher. So again, this is something that they can
- 25:52Speaker 2: pull out and use after a session and score their
- 25:56Speaker 2: clients and kind of track that as they go in
- 25:58Speaker 2: their notes.
- 26:00Speaker 1: What do you feel, kind of stepping back a little bit,
- 26:02Speaker 1: what do you feel differentiates this this, this workbook, this
- 26:10Speaker 1: model from you mentioned semitic experiencing or any of the
- 26:14Speaker 1: other ones.
- 26:17Speaker 2: One of the things that we get the most feedback
- 26:19Speaker 2: is pillar three, which is what we call reinforcing agency.
- 26:23Speaker 2: That's a really big piece that people that come who
- 26:26Speaker 2: have trained in all these different models I F. S, EMDR,
- 26:29Speaker 2: you know, all the different acronyms, they say that one
- 26:33Speaker 2: of the most differentiating factors is, at least in the
- 26:36Speaker 2: clinical model, is about the pillar number three, which is
- 26:41Speaker 2: about reinforcing agency that we're we're our our invitations, our
- 26:45Speaker 2: interventions are very much designed to support clients to become
- 26:52Speaker 2: more aware and more connected to the ways that they're
- 26:54Speaker 2: organizing themselves internally and then relating to their experience. So,
- 26:59Speaker 2: for example, I mean. You know. This is example I
- 27:02Speaker 2: given my teaching a lot. It's like you're walking back
- 27:05Speaker 2: from the bathroom at work and you see a coworker
- 27:08Speaker 2: kind of coming past you going to the bathroom. You
- 27:10Speaker 2: say hi, and they don't say hi back. What do
- 27:13Speaker 2: you do with that experience? Like, you know, what does
- 27:16Speaker 2: the person do? They started telling themselves maybe that oh,
- 27:18Speaker 2: I'm unlikable, no one likes me here. I knew this
- 27:20Speaker 2: was the truth, you know, and then later you find
- 27:23Speaker 2: out that the person just got a text that someone
- 27:25Speaker 2: died in their family and they were running to the
- 27:26Speaker 2: bathroom to cry. They didn't even see you or hear
- 27:29Speaker 2: you because they were just trying to get to the bathroom.
- 27:31Speaker 2: It had nothing to do with you. But you organized
- 27:35Speaker 2: yourself around this deep message of being unlovable, being not accepted,
- 27:40Speaker 2: not welcomed, and then you start to relate to your
- 27:42Speaker 2: internal experience and maybe even started not liking them or
- 27:46Speaker 2: being mean to them, rejecting them, because you are now
- 27:50Speaker 2: responding to these old messages that are kind of these
- 27:54Speaker 2: very deep we call them shame based identifications that go
- 27:57Speaker 2: back way into childhood. The way that we learn to
- 28:00Speaker 2: internalize the failures that were happening and make them personal
- 28:04Speaker 2: about us, which then leads to negative self concept.
- 28:07Speaker 1: So we go in, I know nothing about that, Brad,
- 28:10Speaker 1: no idea what you're talking about?
- 28:14Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's the thing we all. You know,
- 28:16Speaker 2: it's evocative territory because we do this all the time.
- 28:20Speaker 2: And and so getting more of this kind of we
- 28:24Speaker 2: use the short term language of like adult consciousness, like
- 28:27Speaker 2: getting more of a kind of an adult perspective on
- 28:30Speaker 2: these old strategies we developed as a child is kind
- 28:34Speaker 2: of a game changer. And again it's top down, bottom up,
- 28:38Speaker 2: So some of it is about developing more self awareness
- 28:41Speaker 2: and insight, and some of it is about actually how
- 28:44Speaker 2: we shift how these shame based identifications are being held
- 28:47Speaker 2: in our bodies. And so we're kind of simultaneously working
- 28:51Speaker 2: top down, bottom up, and through the relationship. The last
- 28:55Speaker 2: piece I'll just share here is that when this isn't
- 28:58Speaker 2: in this book, but when we go into more advanced
- 29:00Speaker 2: training on norm we work a lot in the relationship
- 29:03Speaker 2: and what we work around relational enactments, and basically that
- 29:08Speaker 2: like when we come into relationships, we're bringing in these
- 29:12Speaker 2: old messages, these old ways of being, and we're sometimes
- 29:16Speaker 2: recruiting people into relationships to evoke these old patterns, and
- 29:22Speaker 2: so we can kind of work with the clients' ways
- 29:26Speaker 2: of projecting or transferring onto us what that evokes for
- 29:29Speaker 2: us as therapists, and how to work more in that
- 29:32Speaker 2: relational field. And that's that's really exciting work. It's also
- 29:36Speaker 2: a little scary because it's like very real time with
- 29:39Speaker 2: how the relationship is unfolding. But it can be really
- 29:42Speaker 2: dynamic work to unravel some of these relational trauma patterns.
- 29:46Speaker 1: Wow. All right. Once again, the book is called Healing
- 29:49Speaker 1: Developmental Trauma. It's workbook tools and techniques from the neuro
- 29:53Speaker 1: effective Relational model. Uh wow, all right, intense. So again
- 30:01Speaker 1: four therapists, coaches, anyone interested in working with what developmental trauma?
- 30:07Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and even clients. Some clients really love to
- 30:10Speaker 2: like learn more about themselves. It can be you know,
- 30:13Speaker 2: a lot of therapists use psycho education, and so clients
- 30:16Speaker 2: can use it people that want to do self that
- 30:18Speaker 2: are interested in self help. We hope this will be
- 30:20Speaker 2: a book both the last actually all three of the
- 30:22Speaker 2: NORM books have been written in a way that there
- 30:25Speaker 2: is a lot of theory, but we've tried to also
- 30:27Speaker 2: write it so people could pick it up off the
- 30:29Speaker 2: self help, you know section and use some of the
- 30:32Speaker 2: exercises for themselves, even if they're not mental health or
- 30:35Speaker 2: other helping professionals.
- 30:37Speaker 1: Awesome, all right, all right, Bret, how do people learn
- 30:40Speaker 1: more about you, your work and the book.
- 30:43Speaker 2: Yeah, you can visit us at Complex Trauma Training Center
- 30:46Speaker 2: dot com. We also have a podcast which Guy has
- 30:48Speaker 2: been on before called the Transforming Trauma Podcasts, which you know,
- 30:53Speaker 2: we've been very inspired by your Trauma Therapists podcasts here.
- 30:58Speaker 2: And yeah, we have programs clinical training starting next year
- 31:02Speaker 2: early next year January for norm if you want to
- 31:05Speaker 2: become an arm therapist. We have this space program for
- 31:08Speaker 2: people that from all different clinical backgrounds that want to
- 31:12Speaker 2: learn more about this internal and relational and actually it
- 31:16Speaker 2: has a spiritual element to these inside out learning programs
- 31:21Speaker 2: that we have. And yeah, we just are excited to
- 31:24Speaker 2: continue to create a professional community where people can feel
- 31:28Speaker 2: supported and come in and out of different events or
- 31:32Speaker 2: programs and get as much or as little support as
- 31:35Speaker 2: you're looking for to help you in your profession.
- 31:38Speaker 1: Awesome, all right. We'll have each of those linked up
- 31:41Speaker 1: here at the show Notes Trauma Theraispodcast dot com. Brad
- 31:47Speaker 1: As always appreciate you so inspiring. The book is incredible,
- 31:52Speaker 1: and I love what you're doing. It's just yeah, I mean,
- 31:56Speaker 1: I think it's needed for therapists, and it's it's kind
- 32:02Speaker 1: of crazy that the state of training for therapists at
- 32:09Speaker 1: this point that so much is needed once they get out,
- 32:16Speaker 1: you know. But I'm glad that you're there to catch everyone.
- 32:21Speaker 2: Yeah, no, that's true. I mean we could, we could
- 32:23Speaker 2: have a whole nother conversation about the state of graduate
- 32:26Speaker 2: programs at this point. It's it's kind of sad, actually,
- 32:29Speaker 2: but so the good news is that, you know, for
- 32:31Speaker 2: people that have resources, there's a lot of great programs
- 32:34Speaker 2: out there, and so you know, we're doing what we
- 32:37Speaker 2: can to to you know, evolve this field.
- 32:41Speaker 1: All right, appreciate you. We'll be in touch.
- 32:42Speaker 2: I appreciate you. Thank you so much.