Latest / Pursuit of Sassiness / Single AF And Now I Have To Deal with Valentine’s Day!

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Single AF And Now I Have To Deal with Valentine’s Day! · Pursuit of Sassiness

• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome back to I Do Part two. It's
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: one of your celebrity mentors, Cheryl Burke, and I'm coming
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: to you live from my hometown San Francisco. Today. I'm
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: joined by someone we love having on the pod. Of course,
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: it's Golden bachelorette Joan bussoes Hi. Thank you for having
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: He was talking earlier and I was like, I didn't
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: even see you last night. It's so funny because it
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: wasn't a huge party. No, I can't crowd it.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there were a good man of us and there
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: were so many fun things to do. I think maybe
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: we didn't like to like connect because we were doing
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: other Storight, Well.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Where were you? So?
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: We were at Lala Kent and Amber Amber Yep Childers
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Amber Childers.
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: They have a very successful podcast, An Unlikely Affair, which
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: is hilarious. The name. Do you know the backstories? Oh yeah,
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: it's so If you guys don't know the backstory, check
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: it out. It is fascinating. It's quite fast.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: I love how they ended up together, and I guess
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: like the like the big we could just do a
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: quick synopsis.
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: So he was married married to Amber child and then
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: cheated on Amber with La La and they both have kids.
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: Well she was filming, so it was like public knowledge.
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: So and they both have kids from him. So their
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: kids are like friends. And they're such good friends because
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: they have a mutual bond of hating this man.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I mean, this is it's crazy. Way are this is?
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Are they technically have.
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: Because they both have the same father? Oh right, yes,
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: there they're family.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: It's not funny.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: I did that kind of just a humble interesting.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Okay, Well, now they.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Get to have their own podcast and and a successful one.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: They're doing great. Well, you know, they're both really interesting women.
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: I've always been a fan of Lalla's. Actually, I just
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: liked how I don't care what vander pump rolls like,
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: whatever reputation she has, but she seems really cool and
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: grounded for the most part.
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, it's reality TV, so it is what
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: it is. I mean, they edited the way they want
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: to make the people look. But like, I've had interactions
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: with her in the past, and she is adorable, and
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: she's like a good good mom, a good mom. And
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I have to say, if you're a good mom, you
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: know you're doing the most important thing in life.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: She's not even going to this stink concert tonight because
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: she's going home.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: I know, because because her daughter has like an interview
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: kind of play date tomorrow for a preschool she's trying
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: to get into. Yeah, just go on that.
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: I love about her.
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: Mom kind of grounded down to earth.
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: Definitely, especially in this town right of Los LA. That
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: is not the Bay area where I'm from, but we're
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: all pretty down to earth, I would say for the
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: most part. I mean at the show, I feel like
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: she hasn't changed much.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I agree, But I got to tell you last night,
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: did how great was her dress? So she and the
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: sequence it was she had the greatest jersey. She and
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: amber Head matching.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Dresses.
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: I mean the dresses, but there were jerseys, but there
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: were long enough like they were because they have adorable
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: yeah that they had a short little mini with heels,
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: with the heels, and the night was magical. It was
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: just a beauty full evening. Looking over the water. I
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: could see the bridge in the it's never clear, you
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: can see the stars. And they had all those cute
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: little pop up things for us to do, like.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: Did you make a yes? I made a hat?
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Really just some fun night. Oh my god. They had
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: they had little pastures to go on and that were hilarious.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: I got one that said and it was hilarious because
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I had like roses, so it was very bacheloring.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I cried, but.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: I did the thing anyway.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: You know, everybody cries on Bachelor, and I did the
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: thing anyway.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Like, how was your experience with it was? Did you
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: have fun? We're both from the same networking so I
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: never really know. I mean, I've I've seen it, I've
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: seen parts of it, but like I've always wondered what
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: the emotional rollercoaster is.
• 3:46
  Speaker 2: Like it is crazy, well because of like lack of
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: sleep and like high emotions, that and more. And you're
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: in this box and it gets more and more intense
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: every day every week as you get closer and closer
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: and you're down to fewer guys and emotions are stronger.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: It's a lot.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: But I got engaged, so I got so.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: Lucky, glacious. We're going to talk about like that with
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: Valentine's Day. But let me ask you a question though, Okay,
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: because you're single, I am happily.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so what's it like being around other single women
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: at this stage in your life?
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: It's actually it's it's fine, I mean, honestly single or
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: not single. It's just I have so much freedom and
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: I'm just loving every single second of it. You know,
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I live alone with my French bulldog, and me and
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: her are just you know, we're I said this to
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: somebody last night. I said, you know, I've never been
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: so content for this consistent amount of time, like for
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: the last you know, I've been divorced now for almost
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: three and a half years, I would say. And I
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: just don't have any interest, meaning like I'm not going
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: to join a dating app like I don't. I don't
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: have any interest in doing that.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: If something happens organically, correct, you're okay with it.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: And if nothing happens for now, fine, so be it.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: Like I'm like learning to love my own presence. And
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: I used to be a serial dater, so I always date.
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: I always had a backup plan, and I could never
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: be alone. And now I'm just trying to really enjoy
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: this moment.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: And did that come with age, like you're feeling with
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: therapy in your skin here, lots of therapy girl, Well
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: I'm sober, but yes, but basically, yeah.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: It was just a lot of you know, I learned
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: from my mistakes and this is what I need right now.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: I feel comfortable in your skin. Good for you, because
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: it's hard to feel comfortable in your skin, it.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: Is, very much, especially when you're on a dancing show
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: you know for so many years and shaking your button,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: little tiny costumes, being under the microscope with all that.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: But that's another podcast, however, you know it's actually it's it.
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: I think for me, it was when I retired from
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: the show was when it really was like, okay, well
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: that show and nothing really should I identify you as
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: a person outside of you, right, So it was hard
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: for me to really understand that while I was in
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: it obviously, just like I'm sure the best bubble guy
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, but it's a small little world of Dancing
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: with the Stars, and I've been there. I was there
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: first twenty six seasons and so like my show, half
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: my life, I was there, So it was hard to
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: cut them build local cord. I bet that was really
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: a huge decision for you. Yeah, my goodness.
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: But you feel comfortable in your skin now. So if
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: you had done that, you probably would have been open
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: to all that public attention and scrutiny. And I know
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: that we all get it.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Well, I was not comfortable when I was getting all
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: that attention, and so that was like so my I
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: based my mood off of how other what I thought,
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: and it's just like, wow, that was really nut. I
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: wasn't stable, you know, because of it. So I'm glad
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: you did that. Thank you, thanks so much. So how
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: about you. You say you're engaged, right, so tell me,
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: so how long has it been you've been engaged?
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: So we got engaged on the show. So it was
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: right in the beginning of August, a year or so.
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: Gorgeous and this is for Christmas. So he's a good
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: joy right, Oh my goodness, I know.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: Isn't it beautiful?
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: I know, Wow, he's a good guy. Diamonds are you
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: can't get wrong with diamonds.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: So it was a year in August, but we weren't
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: public until November. So we've been engaged for like a
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: year and a half.
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you look so happy. Genuinely, I am
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: genuinely happy.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: So he lives in Kansas, I live in Maryland, so
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: we have a long distance relationship and it's fine. We've
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: we've kind of figured it out for now. I'm like,
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: I'm not something I want to do forever, but it
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: is where we are in our life now. He has
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: a business in Kansas, he has to run it. I
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: have family in Maryland. I have three grandkids, I have
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: a ninety three year old mother. I have my own
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: children there, so I'm not leaving them. So we were living.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: The best life. I wonder if that's the secret. Maybe
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: it is. I'm not kidding.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: I know people have said that to me, like do
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: you really think you ever need to go together?
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Miss each other?
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: We miss each other, and when we see each other,
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: it's a lot of times not in Kansas or Maryland,
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Like we'll meet in Miami, or we'll meet in La
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: or we'll meet like we're going to Puntacana on Monday.
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: We met and we got a place in New York
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: for a month stuff because.
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, exactly there.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: And so we have no like your dirty laundry, We
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: have no like you didn't clean the bathroom, right, none
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: of that because we're downvcation all the time. Yeah, yeah,
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: so we haven't actually had that, but it's okay. It's
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: actually really good. So it keeps at honeymoon stage kind
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: of going for longer, right.
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: But you know, we all know the honeymoon stage won't
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: go on forever. Okay, this allows for communication because you
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: do have to communicate obviously, And do you guys have
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: a boundary as far as like how long you guys
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: are are not together.
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Our longest has been about three weeks, which is not
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: long so bad. And that only happened because he and
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: I both had vacations that were previously scheduled. He actually
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: was going on safari with the Sun that he scheduled
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: a year in advance, and I had a randal I
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: had to do, so we ended up just not over
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: his vacation for like ten days, and then I had
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: a vacation for ten days and then we then we
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: finally got back together, but we ended up being apart
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: for almost a month that time.
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: An you guys talk every day, like multiple times a day.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: So what advice yet for anybody who's going through a
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: long distance relationship. It's over it?
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: But yeah, so boy, I'd say it's working for us.
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I could see that it would be hard for other people.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: But because we have all these other opportunities that we
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: get because.
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: We were in the show, you mean, like to work
• 9:12
  Speaker 5: together and to be like yeah, here or whatever my
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: heart work spaces, yeah, free trip set get you together.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: So you know, I mean financially it would be hard
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: maybe for other people to do this because you'd have
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: to make an effort to like see each other and
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: that can be expensive. And also like we get to
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: get to do really fun things. But you know, you
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: work your whole life. I'm sixty two or I'm sixty
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: I'm sixty three now I turned sixty three a couple
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: weeks ago, thank you, So I'm sixty three. He's sixty two.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: We worked our whole life. We raised our kids, We
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: you know, saved money. We planned for this time in
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: our lives to have a good time. Like you do this,
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: you you work up to this and you go okay.
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: So that's what life is about, right. So we are
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: living in and we just neither one of us ever
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: pictured that our these years would have ended up like this.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: I I think I was ever going to lose my husband,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: you know, he he is divorced, and then he lost
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: us Beyonce. He had been engaged for a bunch of
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: years to a woman who then ended up with the
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: brain tumor, so he lost her. So both of us
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: all of a sudden, we're like faced with these futures
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: like that were really unknown to us, and then we
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: found each other. So now we're living that dream that
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: we had with other people, but now we're doing it
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: with each other.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: So what is one thing that doesn't cost any money
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: that you feel like would really help for someone to hear? Like,
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: what is the number one thing that you have, whether
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: it's communication or what is it? Like consistently?
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: I think communication, Yeah, so I think you know, just
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: talking about the stupid things happening your day. It makes
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: you more part of their life. So every conversation is
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: an epic impact. Most conversations are very not epic. It's like, so,
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: what are you doing for dinner night? Did you make
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: that tripa?
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: How are you?
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: How are like, you know, whatever happened with that colleague whatever,
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: So it makes you part of the life. So it's
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: probably conversations you would have if you're together.
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: We do those on the phone right long and multiple
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: times a day.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: Multiple times morning. We talk every morning, we talk every
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: night and and sometimes.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Several times right because if you're like physically like together,
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: then sometimes.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: You might have a TV on right like we're there,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: I'm not watching TV.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: Right or right?
• 11:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's actually maybe actually kind of good for communication,
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: like to not always be together.
• 11:17
  Speaker 1: But I mean, and if you don't communicate when you're gone,
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: then that just tells you that's a.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: If there's Yeah, there's a day that I didn't talk
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: to them. I think something is seriously long. I should
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: probably get on a plane and go to Kansas.
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: So are you guys celebrating Valentine's Day? Then we are? Yeah,
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: we have. I think I've been there before with my ex. Actually, wait,
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: where are you to go?
• 11:34
  Speaker 2: We were gonna be in much We're gonna be at
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: the the hard Rock.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: Okay are those those villas on the water So it's
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: not oh okay, but I have been to one of those,
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: not in Punchaka, though I did that in bor Okay.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: But that's gorgeous. I've always wanted to go there.
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: Oh god, yeah, it's beautiful. Well I did it on Bachelor,
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: so they brought us there. Oh yeah, oh I need
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: to go back. It was beautiful. It's a long flight,
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: but it was not so bad. From west coast, from
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: east coast it was really oh, definitely worth it. But
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: so we're going to be actually in La We're going
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: out there for a thing that we have to do,
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: and so we're just sending staying extra day we have.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: The thing we have to do is on the thirteenth,
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: And so I said, I got us in a night
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: for the we're going to stay the night of the
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: thirteenth and fourteenth. I can go home in the fifteenth
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: so we can be together for Valentine. How long may
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: be great planning, So we're going to be.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: You don't know of anything that's planned. I don't know
• 12:23
  Speaker 1: if anything.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: If you're listening, you should plan something.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: Maybe more diamonds or something something.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: At least make dinner reservations that would be great. Yeah,
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: I should probably put that on his plate.
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: Is he that type of person? No, Oh, he doesn't know.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: He'd just tell me where you want to be, like
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: what do you want to do, or like we're trying
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: to be ready. And I'm like, sometimes I do want
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: him to make the plants. And so I did that
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: to him New York and he's like, you know what
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: you can. You're making dinner plans for Friday night or whatever?
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Does this? And he did.
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: He did a great job. He looked into stuff.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like insecure at all that was like,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: can you just tell me what? He was totally confident.
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: I was like, I don't care where we go.
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: You just make the plants, because I'm the one always
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: making the plants. And he didn't even have like a
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: a restaurant app on his phone. I'm like, you need
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: to get.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: But I don't either. I mean Postmates that considered a
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: restaurant just for ording.
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: This is from making preservation.
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I'm not dating. That's table or something table. He didn't.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: Sometimes I just have so many apps I erase the
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: ones I don't use. Yes, I know open table okay,
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I'm not that.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: So I made him get a table.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Now has open table okay? And has he continued on
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: just one time. I didn't really maybe a Enti's Day though,
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: he's gonna have to take I have to tell him
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: he doesn't just do it. Yeah, I mean, do you
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: gift for Valentine's I mean, I feel like it's the girls.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: I feel like he should be giving me a gift
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: rink and also planning the day and planning the who
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: planned the trip?
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: Well, it was like a work trip, so I got
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: already planned. But you know what he did right when
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: we first got engaged, he goes, I'm a dumb guy,
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: and you just need to tell me what are holidays
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: you need to give for.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: So I was like Birthday, maybe, Hannah.
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: Said Valentine's Day, and then I stopped at those three
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: and then I was like, oh, I said, and I said,
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: you know, if we ever haven't like a real anniversary,
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: And then I thought I should have said like Labor.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: Day, yes, anything, and Halloween and Martha.
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: Yep, yep, all the days, all the day. I really
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: love language gift giving.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: It is a little bit yeah, and this is touch
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: so I feel like I'm feel so superficial, but it's
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: the truth.
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: No, it's you know who doesn't love.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: Gifts, even just a little gift like bring me fowers.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: And it's the thoughts, even like plan a freaking dinner
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: that would be great. I feel great about that. That
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: makes me really happy because then you know that that
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: person is thinking, I agree, and he's like thinking like
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: what I would like? And does he open the door
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: for you? He does?
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: He's got even when I need to get in.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: A car, that's important. It's such a gentle light never stops.
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: I love that my sons are gentlemen like that, because
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: my late husband was the same way, and I feel
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: like it's important and a lot of that has gone
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: from this old.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Your sons are.
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: I'm probably told for them anyway, Well I have a
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: thirty one.
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: Well not that bad, but if they're not a baby? Sorry, yeah, no,
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: don't be sorry. All good? Okay, So I guess we
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: should talk about single Valentine's Day? Right, So I love
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: for you to tell me.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, So I.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Don't have any plans. I mean I could totally lie
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: and say, yeah, I'm doing this like Gallantine's Day.
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: So do you feel down in the jumps about it?
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: Or are you feeling fine about it?
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I just feel like it's another day. I'm so I'm not.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: I'm not. I celebrate holidays, don't get me wrong, but
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: like even birthdays like unless, I mean, it's not like
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: I feel the pressure to have to do anything. But
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: I'm also not like, oh this is so sad, Like
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: this is actually empowering. I love me And I'm also
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: not in that sense where I'm like egotistical about it.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: But it's like, you know, I enjoy my day. It's
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: just like any other day in a sense where it's
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: like my mood doesn't change. Nothing will change. It'll just
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: be maybe I'll give my dog a little cute little
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: hearts chocolate to day or something. Maybe when I was
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: first divorced, maybe I was. Yeah, it was a change,
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: it was a change.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: I had a person that you did have in Valentine's
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: Day with and then all of a sudden yes, yes, yeah.
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: So when my husband passed away, Valentine's Day wasn't the
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: day that got me. Our anniversary was, sure, so that
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: was a little harder. But I was the same way
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: about Valentine's Day. I kind of feel like it's a
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: little bit of a made up holiday. It really is,
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: And I'm I was okay not celebrating that.
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's a good excuse for where pink it is.
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: You look good, pink. It's good.
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: It's a good I think it's good day to eat
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: a little extra.
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: To help others feel like, who are sad about it?
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like, because it's really not that sad.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: Do you have a lot of single girlfriends? I do? Yeah,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: So that's times. I mean, so I moved. So in
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: one year, I divorced my husband, I divorced the show,
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: and I moved out of my home and Los Angeles
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: for sixteen years. I know crazy, this is just my personality.
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I know nothing. But uh so since
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: I've moved, it's been a long distance friendship with my friends.
• 16:49
  Speaker 5: Okay, yeah, you don't have a lot. You don't have
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: a lot here, that's not where I live. No, okay, yeah,
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: all right, so all right.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: So Valentine's Day isn't like probably in your future, but
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: although again made a holiday, yeah.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: Or like if it's the last minute thing, you know,
• 17:03
  Speaker 1: I'll hear about it and then I'll get the dog
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: sitter and I'll drive two hours away to La So
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, I just don't put a lot of emphasis
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: on it. But I know a lot of women are
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: sad about it. And it's like, you know, what we
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: should gift ourselves, Like we should do to give back
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: to ourselves, whether that be spending an extra five ten
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: minutes with your skincare or like, you know, take a bath,
• 17:24
  Speaker 1: Like I don't. I don't have time for baths, So
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: maybe I should make the time to take a bath,
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: you know, and like really put that love into ourselves.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: I think there's so many ways to do this right.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: You don't have to have online see from a man.
• 17:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you can receive it or a man doesn't have
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: to receive it.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: From a woman.
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: You can love yourself.
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: You can buy yourself flowers at Miley Cyrus. I love that.
• 17:43
  Speaker 1: I don't need you. You really can, I mean it's flowers. Yeah,
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: by of yourself. I agree, you'll pick out the rooms
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: you actually like. Thank you. So what should our listeners
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: do you think this Valentine's Day?
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: If they're their goal, if they're single, they're not.
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: Even not single and feeling down about it? Yeah, you
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: know what.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Some people are married or have a it's not feeling
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: great anyway.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: No, I think I think you kind of hit the nose,
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: the nail on the head by saying, like showing that
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: you love yourself, you know, because you don't need somebody
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: else to show you, like, be good to yourself. I
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: think it's a lesson that we all have to learn,
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: because I don't think it's something comes really naturally. No,
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: Like most of us are giving to other people, to
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: our family, to our kids.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: To our dog, to whatever.
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: They don't believe in giving, and they don't take care
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: of themselves. So I feel like you are preaching a
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: really like sound advice on this Valentine's Day. And I
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: think we're lucky we had you here to say that,
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: because I don't think that everybody realizes that, and.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: I think I feel like it's selfish and what I
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: just don't do it. The thing is, I just interviewed
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: this doctor and we were talking about this exact topic,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: and I was like, but you, if there is no
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: you, you're not giving back to anybody, right, So like until
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: you care of yourself first.
• 19:01
  Speaker 2: And it's like put your mask on before you heard
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: the person sitting next to you, because then you're not here,
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: You're not you're not present.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: How can you even give. You can pretend to give,
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: but you're not really giving if you're not fully feeling
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: your best help and if you're not your best self,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: and how can you be your best self? You need
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: to take care of that. Yeah, you need to do
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: you first. Always.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: I started you that a little bit. But and the
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: way I do it is by like disconnecting.
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: A little bit. Like I have no phones. Yeah, Like
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I'll like.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Not look at my phone for a few hours, or
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: I'll go up in my room and I'll call binge
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: watch some stupid show. You and I and I feel
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: like I feel I used to feel really guilty about that,
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: Like I should be doing something more productive. I could, like,
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: you know, do a.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: Million of things.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: I should go see my mom or I should walk
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: my dog, or I should cook dinner for somebody or whatever.
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: Like I'll just say no upstairs and like spend the
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: next two hours like binge watching housewaves of Saltics.
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: Is that what it like to you, guys? What I
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: did most recently.
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: That's when it came to mind, I just did it
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: for you. Yeah, so I watched like half a season Assaults.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: And so the more you do it, the less guilty.
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: Well I kind of feel like, yeah, it's like one
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: of those things like like shock therapy, Like just do
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: it and the more you do it, and.
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: The more you do, the more comfortable. It's rewiring the brain,
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: like and it's gonna feel uncomfortable. It's like a new
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: habit you're developing. You have to step out of your
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: comfort zone and train that side of you and it'll
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: just feel better every time you do it.
• 20:20
  Speaker 2: And I make a big deal of it, like I
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: get my Lola blanket.
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: And blankets Valentine's Day gift, But anybody but you order
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: it now because they're always sold out. You take forever.
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: And I finally just got the color that I really
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: like that I have back. It's like a like a
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: CARAMELI color pillows, beautiful pillows. Oh my god, Okay, I
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: might need to order. So I get my Lola blanket.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I get my hot chocolate dog. You have a dog,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: I have a dog.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Do they have a little thanks through the door.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: I got my dog Lola bed.
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: Oh god, I don't think I can. Don't I can
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: spoil her that much?
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: And of course she like, I could fall asleep in
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: that thing. And let me just tell you, don't great Valentine.
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: I just got my grandson a dog bed. He loves
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: my dog's bed and he gets in the bed with
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: her all the time. So I'm like, you know, I'm
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: buying your own, and I brought it home. I was
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: like to my daughter, I go, don't think I'm like
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: being really weird. I got I got Maverick a dog
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: bed because he loves it. He loves the dog bed.
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: He's too perfec Yeah, weird. You spoil our dogs, don't we.
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: Let's talk about halle Berry quickly. Yeah, I mean, first
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: of all, I didn't realize that she's been married four times.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: Good for her, she's been married two four times?
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Who knows. But like she's gorgeous, she's beautiful, like just in,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: she looks the same, she never.
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: Changes, she has a beautiful skin.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: But she also I love their I love football. I
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: didn't even know that she was in a relationship actually
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: until this article. They've kept it under wraps a little bit.
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: Why don't we know who this is? Halle Berry is
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: engaged to Van Hunt, singer songwriter. So basically, Halle Berry
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: was on that late night talk show and Jimmy fallon
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: I Believe, and I think something was mentioned about, so
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: are you engaged or what did you call off an engagement?
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: Someone in the audience was like getting jealous a little bit,
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: and she's like, no, no, no, I just want to
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: be clear. She's like, I am, and I accepted the proposal,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: but we just don't have a date yet. Okay, so
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I have that too.
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, oh really I know Halle married, but what was
• 22:14
  Speaker 2: your sorry, I accepted the proposal right, Like, there's no hurry,
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: Like she's fifty nine, yeah, like we're not in that
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: stage in life when we're having babies. We're not building lives.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: We already have lives, So you're not like putting anything
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: in limbo by not getting married.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: That's what she said. She's like, we are fine, like
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: we are okay, married or not married. You know. What
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: she doesn't want to do is just like rushing to
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: create all these expectations. Yeah, and it's like they love
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: each other regardless.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: And honestly, maybe she's been married three other times, yes,
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: I think four others other times. She's been married enough times,
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: So she's getting married for her four times, so other
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: tree other times, and maybe marriage is not Maybe that's
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: not super successful for her. Maybe she should be one
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: of those people that just tase engage.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe it is different when you do finally tie
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: the knot. I mean, would I get married again? I don't. Yeah, sure,
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: but it's not like something I need to do right
• 23:04
  Speaker 1: which done? Like I've done it. I agree with you,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: you know, I think I get married. What do you guys?
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: Do you guys have a date. We don't have a date.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: So I have a son getting married this summer, and
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: I have some son that got married last summer, So
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: like I don't want to take anything away from them,
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: like talking I've been in the spotlight. We don't need
• 23:20
  Speaker 2: to be like I don't want to be.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: So it has a lot to plane wedding.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: It takes a lot to plan wedding.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Also, that's a lot of work to your reservations as
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: you know, are you planning do you have a they
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: have a wedding plan? They do? Yeah? And are you
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: planning on any one? When if I do? If?
• 23:34
  Speaker 2: When I do it, yes, I probably will.
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: No, I don't know.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: Maybe let's just be super small that I won't need one. Yeah,
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Like I'm good at planning events. Yeah, I just feel
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: like I just too. Like every each summer I've had
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: a wedding. I've already married off my daughters. I did
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: those ones, I did plan and I had a wedding
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: planner that was a lot of work. And then I
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: have some more grandkids in the works right now too,
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: so I have some being born in June.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: So you've got a busy life going on. I don't know,
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: playing a wedding. And maybe you will have a winter
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: wedding maybe why summer.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: Maybe I'll see what halle Berry does and I'll just
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: copy her exactly exactly.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: So we're going to sting tonight. Do you think a
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: concert is a good place to meet single men?
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: Gosh, I think it kind of depends on where you
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: are at a concert. I think will probably be the
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: reason we're usually.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: I know it's gonna be still. You're right, it's very,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: very hard. This is as loud as I my voice gets. Even.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I can try, but then I'll lose my voice. I
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: will lose my voice and I won't people talk tomorrow. Nine.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: I actually lost my voice.
• 24:24
  Speaker 2: I didn't have a voice this morning after just being
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: out last night talking to people. In that kind of idea,
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's a great place. I mean, I
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: think it's a great place because there are a lot
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: of people, a lot of people do a lot of
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: different ages.
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I agree with you.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: It's usually too noisy.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not planning on meeting anybody, but maybe that's
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: when you do. Huh.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: That's that's exactly right, when you least expect it.
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: So where are you? No, I've got another cue one.
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: We were changing the look tonight, are you? Oh yeah, okay,
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: I'm going casual. Well, this is my version of casual.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: I was born in heels, actually, not of the womb
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: in heels.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: You literally look like you could walk around carp right now.
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: Thank you look so pretty. Thankfully did my own hair
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: and makeup. I'm very proud of my Yeah, you're good
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: at it. Thank You's my new passion in life. Literally,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: is that right? Oh?
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you beautiful.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: I just love to learn whatever it is. And right now,
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: watch a lot of like the videos. This is all
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: I do. Watch you too. I watched one prior to
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: getting radio. I was like, okay, let's do this. So fun.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: You did a good job, so much, so nice to
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: meet you.
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: You can meet somebody tonight.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: I'll ma, yes, please, if you like, I'll go. I'll
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: be like and talk to that that one right there.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: If you bring in our own little secluded box just
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: like you know, I'm never going to meet anyone behind
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: closet door number one in my home.
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: No, we'll make a lap out in the real world.
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll make some laps. The real world scares me,
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: all right, Joan, It's been so fun hanging out.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: So fun.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: I So, if you're single as well like I am,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: and you're in your chapter two want to change your
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: status but need some help, you can always call us
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: or email us all the info is in the show notes.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: Follow us on socials. Make sure to rate and review
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: this podcast. I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: falling in love is the main objective.