Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 415. What is the alter ego effect and how to use it to become the person you want

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415. What is the alter ego effect and how to use it to become the person you want · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:11
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful people, and welcome to the podcast episode of Today.
0:15
Speaker 1: Now this episode has been a very long time in
0:17
Speaker 1: the making, and the reason I say this is because
0:20
Speaker 1: it is a topic that I have referenced about a
0:22
Speaker 1: thousand times. So I thought, instead of saying, wonder, I'm
0:25
Speaker 1: going to do an episode on it. Today is the
0:27
Speaker 1: day We're doing the episode on the alter Ego Effect. Okay, Now,
0:31
Speaker 1: the Alter Ego Effect is actually a book which is
0:35
Speaker 1: written by a performance coach named Todd Herman. I'm not
0:38
Speaker 1: sure if he came up with the concept or if
0:40
Speaker 1: you just popularized it, but I'm going to give him
0:43
Speaker 1: credit because I'm basing a lot of what I'm saying
0:45
Speaker 1: on the book that I read. That's how I came
0:47
Speaker 1: about it. It is a great book called The Alter
0:49
Speaker 1: Ego Effect. Definitely go read it. And I read this book.
0:54
Speaker 1: I actually listened to the audiobook ages ago, and recently
0:58
Speaker 1: I bought the book and now I've been reading the
1:01
Speaker 1: physical book. I find that sometimes I'll listen to an
1:04
Speaker 1: audiobook and it will really, like, you know, wake up
1:08
Speaker 1: certain areas of my mind and my brain, and then
1:10
Speaker 1: I'll revisit that book in the physical and I rediscover
1:14
Speaker 1: things in that book that I didn't in the audio,
1:15
Speaker 1: so I kind of or vice versa. I sometimes like
1:18
Speaker 1: to do both, which is great for the fucking author
1:21
Speaker 1: because I'm buying two versions of their book. But whatever,
1:23
Speaker 1: we are talking about the alter ego effect today. Now,
1:26
Speaker 1: before we get into the alter ego effect, I'm going
1:29
Speaker 1: to tell you what kind of strategy it is, how
1:33
Speaker 1: to apply it, how it can actually turn certain areas
1:36
Speaker 1: off your life completely around. I'm going to go buy
1:38
Speaker 1: a step by step process. I'm going to talk about
1:40
Speaker 1: all of that before I do that, though, I want
1:43
Speaker 1: to say that I'm currently sorry. I keep coughing and
1:48
Speaker 1: I'm not even sick. I just there's something in Mother Old.
1:51
Speaker 1: But I'm currently in the middle, well, while I'm recording this,
1:54
Speaker 1: I'm in the middle of the live show tour. I've
1:55
Speaker 1: done Gold Coast and Brisbane. They were both sold out.
1:59
Speaker 1: We actually were at capacitive of what our sell out was,
2:01
Speaker 1: but then they were able to fit more chairs in,
2:03
Speaker 1: so we've got even more than what our predicted sell
2:05
Speaker 1: out would be. So both shows sold out. I've got
2:08
Speaker 1: Adelaide next. I think by the time you listen to this,
2:12
Speaker 1: the Adelaide show would have come and gone, and I'm
2:14
Speaker 1: very excited because I've actually never been to Adelaide, which
2:17
Speaker 1: is crazy. And then the following week I've got Perth
2:22
Speaker 1: and then Melbourne and the ticket sales have been unbelievable.
2:25
Speaker 1: We are sold out. The only city that's not sold
2:27
Speaker 1: out but we've only got like ten or fifteen tickets
2:30
Speaker 1: left to sell is Adelaide. The rest are sold out.
2:32
Speaker 1: And then like with Perth, we even had to like
2:34
Speaker 1: bring the capacity up even higher and higher and higher
2:37
Speaker 1: to what our initial like sell out number was. So
2:40
Speaker 1: thank you so much to everyone. The fucking like I was,
2:44
Speaker 1: I do photos with everyone after the live show, and
2:46
Speaker 1: like there was this big line of people and it's
2:48
Speaker 1: so amazing to have this interaction with everyone. It's like
2:52
Speaker 1: a shorten sweet interaction obviously because there's like a big
2:54
Speaker 1: line of people. But people are like, oh my god,
2:56
Speaker 1: I discovered you when I went through my divorce. Well,
2:58
Speaker 1: I discovered you when I moved country, or you know,
3:01
Speaker 1: this woman in Brisbane was like, I started listening to
3:05
Speaker 1: your podcast when I moved to Australia to really learn English.
3:08
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh my god, that like she's learning the
3:10
Speaker 1: most vulgar form of English possible, but I feel very
3:14
Speaker 1: very honored that this is like her lesson into the
3:17
Speaker 1: English language. So Dankashen for that anyway, So huge love
3:22
Speaker 1: to all the live show people if you have not
3:24
Speaker 1: yet come to the live show, and if there are
3:26
Speaker 1: any tickets around. Also, I did want to say I
3:29
Speaker 1: hate that there's always like a small percentage of absolute degenerates.
3:33
Speaker 1: But there's been a couple of apparently dodgy people trying
3:38
Speaker 1: to like scam people reselling tickets on the Facebook group.
3:42
Speaker 1: We've allowed reselling on ticketech, so if you have tickets
3:47
Speaker 1: and you can no longer make the live show, you
3:49
Speaker 1: can resell them on ticke tech. Okay, so that's just
3:53
Speaker 1: the safest way you get your money. You can resell
3:56
Speaker 1: it the person who's buying it, there's no chance of
3:58
Speaker 1: them getting scammed. We've removed the people that like we
4:01
Speaker 1: were notified by someone in the group being like, guys,
4:03
Speaker 1: this is definitely a scam. We've removed them from the group,
4:05
Speaker 1: so hopefully that doesn't happen again. But if you do
4:07
Speaker 1: want a ticket that's being resold for the other shows,
4:11
Speaker 1: then there's like a resell feature on ticketech anyway, let's
4:15
Speaker 1: now officially get into what is the alter ego effect
4:20
Speaker 1: and how to apply it to your life. So basically,
4:23
Speaker 1: the alter ego effect is a psychological strategy where you
4:29
Speaker 1: are stepping into a different version of yourself. So it
4:33
Speaker 1: is still the essence of you to an extent. It's
4:36
Speaker 1: not like you have to create someone that's not remotely
4:39
Speaker 1: anything like you. You can choose how different this version
4:43
Speaker 1: of you is, But it's when you step into this
4:46
Speaker 1: kind of identity or a persona that you've created so
4:50
Speaker 1: that way you can perform a task that you normally
4:53
Speaker 1: would find daunting or scary. This normally gives people more confidence,
4:57
Speaker 1: it makes them a bit more cutthroat. If you're normally
5:00
Speaker 1: an absolute people pleaser, this persona is not a people pleaser.
5:04
Speaker 1: So you really create this this sub personality off yourself,
5:09
Speaker 1: specifically when you're doing certain things and you think, all right,
5:13
Speaker 1: I'm going to switch to this mode when I'm doing this.
5:15
Speaker 1: Say you're a salesperson and you're like, but I'm not pushy.
5:18
Speaker 1: The moment someone says no, I just that I can't.
5:21
Speaker 1: It's just not in me, and I really want to,
5:23
Speaker 1: then you think, okay, why don't I try and embody
5:26
Speaker 1: a character someone completely different that is a really good salesperson.
5:30
Speaker 1: You do your research, you look at the biggest guns
5:32
Speaker 1: as far as sales go, you look at the people
5:34
Speaker 1: that you look up to. You then create this persona,
5:38
Speaker 1: this alter ego that behaves in a certain way, and
5:42
Speaker 1: then you step into that every time you're going into sales.
5:44
Speaker 1: So it doesn't mean that you're pushy in every other
5:46
Speaker 1: area of your life. So for example, at home with
5:48
Speaker 1: your friends, with your family, you can still be that
5:50
Speaker 1: laid back, chilled person. You know, you do you do me.
5:52
Speaker 1: But the moment you go into sales, bang, You've put
5:55
Speaker 1: on that persona. You switch on and you are selling
5:59
Speaker 1: really really, really famous example, and this is mentioned in
6:03
Speaker 1: the book the alter ego effect is Beyonce. So Beyonce
6:08
Speaker 1: created Sushaphias and Sasha Fheirs was the alter ego that
6:11
Speaker 1: she had created for herself. She grew up singing in
6:14
Speaker 1: church and she was more I don't know, look, I
6:17
Speaker 1: don't know how timid she was. But as far as
6:20
Speaker 1: the idea of being on a stage, wearing skimpy outfits
6:23
Speaker 1: and doing you know, these big performances, that to her
6:25
Speaker 1: was a bit of a clash to what her personality
6:27
Speaker 1: normally was. Like she was more laid back, more relaxed,
6:30
Speaker 1: a bit more timid, bit more you know, reserved, would
6:33
Speaker 1: sing in church. So it was like, this is a
6:35
Speaker 1: big contrast to what I am normally used to. So
6:38
Speaker 1: she created Susha Fheas so she could get on stage,
6:41
Speaker 1: step into an alter ego and be someone different, okay,
6:47
Speaker 1: and that would allow her to really perform the same
6:49
Speaker 1: goes for certain athletes. Certain athletes are you know, they
6:55
Speaker 1: might be a really giving, kind, even fair person, but
6:59
Speaker 1: it's like, I know, to be more of like a
7:02
Speaker 1: terminator on the court, I need to be a bit
7:05
Speaker 1: more you know, cutthroat. So if I bring my normal
7:09
Speaker 1: personality onto the court, I'm gonna be too nice, I'm
7:11
Speaker 1: gonna be too forgiving. I'm gonna be like, oh it's fine.
7:14
Speaker 1: I need to be ruthless, ruthless out here. How am
7:18
Speaker 1: I going to do that? So I need to create
7:20
Speaker 1: this kind of persona okay. So it's also based on
7:25
Speaker 1: an idea called a code switch, or where you're playing
7:29
Speaker 1: different roles in your life. So you've got like the
7:31
Speaker 1: work you versus the family you versus the like part
7:35
Speaker 1: to you there's all these different kind of codes that
7:38
Speaker 1: you have as different versions of yourself, And I think
7:41
Speaker 1: I've got an entire episode on like all the different
7:43
Speaker 1: versions of you and why it's really important to tap
7:46
Speaker 1: into and feed into those different versions. So if you're
7:49
Speaker 1: someone who's listening to this thinking, oh, great, now I
7:51
Speaker 1: have to pretend to be someone that I'm not in
7:53
Speaker 1: order to do well, it's not even that, it's I
7:56
Speaker 1: need to explore different alternative versions of myself that probably
8:03
Speaker 1: are dominant and already exist within me. Okay, So for example,
8:08
Speaker 1: you can already look at yourself right now and identify
8:14
Speaker 1: different versions that exist. So, for example, my performing version
8:19
Speaker 1: is me. It's not a lie, it's definitely me. It's
8:22
Speaker 1: the essence of me. But it is I'm on right,
8:25
Speaker 1: I'm fucking on, especially when I'm on stage. I'm in
8:28
Speaker 1: the zone. I'm focused, I'm bold, I'm making big statements.
8:33
Speaker 1: And then there's the really kind of relaxed, chilled, softer,
8:38
Speaker 1: calmer version of me when I'm with maybe my friends
8:42
Speaker 1: having a relaxed night, or with Tyrone and we're just chilling.
8:46
Speaker 1: Bits of each always come out in both, but one
8:50
Speaker 1: shines more than the other in different occasions. There's the
8:54
Speaker 1: really extroverted version of me, which contrasts extremely heavily to
8:58
Speaker 1: the massive, massive introvert that exists within me. I am
9:02
Speaker 1: a well I call myself an ambivert, but I'm a
9:05
Speaker 1: massive introvert at heart. And the reason that is is
9:08
Speaker 1: because I recharge my batteries when I'm alone. But I
9:10
Speaker 1: am so fucking social and I love nothing more than
9:13
Speaker 1: being around to the people that I love. But if
9:15
Speaker 1: I don't have my alone time to recharge my batteries,
9:18
Speaker 1: I'm not going to show up as that other version
9:20
Speaker 1: of myself. So I want you to already, even before
9:23
Speaker 1: we create that new alter ego that's going to help
9:25
Speaker 1: you perform and kill it in your career, in your sport,
9:28
Speaker 1: or and whatever in your confidence, I want you to
9:30
Speaker 1: already begin to identify that there's all these other versions
9:33
Speaker 1: of you that do exist. Go listen to my podcast
9:35
Speaker 1: episode about all the different versions of you, and you're
9:39
Speaker 1: going to realize I already do tap into different sides
9:41
Speaker 1: of me for different things. When I go into meetings
9:43
Speaker 1: versus when I'm talking to my parents, versus when I'm
9:46
Speaker 1: with my dog or a lot, I already have that,
9:48
Speaker 1: So We're not trying to just create something that isn't
9:52
Speaker 1: you at all. We're trying to identify exactly the threads
9:56
Speaker 1: that we need and pull the essence of you and
10:00
Speaker 1: add more and turn it into this alter ego. Okay,
10:03
Speaker 1: so the essence of you will always be there. Right.
10:07
Speaker 1: So here's basically how it works. You create an alter ego.
10:12
Speaker 1: This is the version of you that's embodying the traits
10:15
Speaker 1: of this you know, character or alter ego that you
10:18
Speaker 1: want to step into. So here is how it works.
10:21
Speaker 1: The first thing is that you create this alter ego. Okay,
10:25
Speaker 1: so that is is it. I want to behave more
10:27
Speaker 1: like a CEO when I walk into a meeting. I
10:30
Speaker 1: want to really decide what my future self will be
10:33
Speaker 1: and how can I act like her. I want to,
10:37
Speaker 1: you know, be confident on stage or confident when I speak.
10:41
Speaker 1: And I think if you can even think of people
10:42
Speaker 1: that you look up to, and you think, that's the
10:44
Speaker 1: energy that I want to bring. Because there's many people
10:46
Speaker 1: that speak on spet stage, there's many performers, there's many
10:49
Speaker 1: and you're going to look at the ones that you
10:50
Speaker 1: like and you're like, that's what I want to tap into.
10:53
Speaker 1: I want to have more of that. I want to
10:54
Speaker 1: do more of that. Okay. So the first thing is
10:56
Speaker 1: you're creating this alter ego. It's very fun. When I
11:00
Speaker 1: talk about soft action and bold action. This is the
11:03
Speaker 1: soft action, fun side of things. And you're going to
11:05
Speaker 1: realize there's going to be a few psychological benefits to it.
11:09
Speaker 1: The first one is you already begin to detach yourself
11:12
Speaker 1: from these limiting beliefs because it is a different version
11:15
Speaker 1: of you. It's not really the normal you, the every
11:17
Speaker 1: day you. It's this heightened alter ego version of you.
11:21
Speaker 1: So the limiting beliefs you have in your everyday life
11:23
Speaker 1: don't exist in this alter ego version of you because
11:26
Speaker 1: you're kind of playing a character that you've created that
11:29
Speaker 1: is technically you, but you are playing a character. Okay,
11:33
Speaker 1: so it's like, well, these limiting beliefs don't apply because
11:36
Speaker 1: the created this character, and I can choose what beliefs
11:39
Speaker 1: this character's going to have and what beliefs this character
11:41
Speaker 1: is not going to have. Okay, it's going to increase
11:45
Speaker 1: your ability to perform under pressure because you instead of
11:50
Speaker 1: thinking of the normal way that you think, instead of thinking,
11:52
Speaker 1: you're kind of dropping into Okay, how would this character behave?
11:56
Speaker 1: How would this character act? You're not tied up in
12:00
Speaker 1: your normal hang ups because you're focusing on this different
12:03
Speaker 1: version of yourself. Okay, You're going to notice that it's
12:06
Speaker 1: a lot easier to be focused and to be confident
12:09
Speaker 1: when you are in this alter ego version of yourself
12:12
Speaker 1: because you've almost got this protective shield of like, this
12:15
Speaker 1: is the character that I'm playing, right, And then you
12:18
Speaker 1: actually feel a lot more free because once you start
12:21
Speaker 1: playing around with this alter ego effect, you start thinking like,
12:26
Speaker 1: I've broken out of these typical patterns that I normally
12:29
Speaker 1: fall into. I normally allow people to walk all over me.
12:32
Speaker 1: But now that I'm taking on this alter ego effect
12:35
Speaker 1: when I'm at work, that changes altogether. And then another
12:39
Speaker 1: beauty of this is some people nail their alter ego
12:43
Speaker 1: so much that they're like, I want more of my
12:46
Speaker 1: alter ego to be in my everyday life, and it
12:49
Speaker 1: teaches you how to be more confident, stand up for
12:51
Speaker 1: yourself more, have higher self esteem across the board. So
12:55
Speaker 1: your alter ego that you create can end up in
12:59
Speaker 1: influence and sing the other versions of you as well. Okay,
13:03
Speaker 1: so it goes both ways. It's like it kind of positive.
13:05
Speaker 1: It's this positive feedback loop. Now, again, this has nothing
13:09
Speaker 1: to do about being fake. It's about accessing the real you,
13:12
Speaker 1: or real aspects of you that exist. Because still you're
13:15
Speaker 1: doing this right, but that might be buried under kind
13:18
Speaker 1: of doubt, limiting beliefs, overthinking fear. You're not kind of
13:23
Speaker 1: inventing someone that you're not remotely like, okay, you're you're
13:28
Speaker 1: kind of releasing something that already exists within you. Okay,
13:33
Speaker 1: And that's how you kind of craft or design this
13:35
Speaker 1: alter ego. And the reason that you know it's within
13:37
Speaker 1: you is because you wouldn't have these ideas of how
13:41
Speaker 1: to create this alter ego if it didn't already exist
13:44
Speaker 1: within you. Okay, if you and you also, if you
13:47
Speaker 1: created a character that you're like, oh God, I hate
13:50
Speaker 1: to fuck oh now I'm going to step into this
13:52
Speaker 1: alter ego, then it's not you, right, you should be
13:55
Speaker 1: excited to step into this alter ego. It might be daunting,
13:58
Speaker 1: it might be a little bit intimidating, but the concept
14:00
Speaker 1: of like, oh I would fucking love to be that,
14:02
Speaker 1: that means it already exists within you. Okay. Sense, Now,
14:13
Speaker 1: let's break it down into a bunch of steps. So
14:17
Speaker 1: the first one is I want you to pick what
14:19
Speaker 1: you deem to be like the main superpower of this
14:21
Speaker 1: alter ego. Okay, so is it creativity? Is it assertiveness?
14:27
Speaker 1: Is it confidence? Is it the ability to really stand
14:30
Speaker 1: up for yourself? Is it to be more carefree? Like
14:33
Speaker 1: less self conscious? I want to be that person that
14:36
Speaker 1: when I go out with my friends, I really let
14:39
Speaker 1: my hair down and I don't ever have to second
14:41
Speaker 1: guess what I say or what I do. I'm comfortable
14:44
Speaker 1: in my own skin. That's the superpower that I want, right?
14:48
Speaker 1: Is it that I am like I don't sweat the
14:52
Speaker 1: small stuff. I'm someone that you know those people that
14:54
Speaker 1: you'll see something really annoying happen to them, or really
14:57
Speaker 1: annoying things in that day, and they're just unbother they're unfhased, right,
15:02
Speaker 1: or they really calm under pressure. You know those people
15:05
Speaker 1: that like, there's someone that frets and frazzles and just
15:08
Speaker 1: it's the beginning of their undoing when they're under pressure.
15:12
Speaker 1: And then those other people that thrive under pressure. Is
15:15
Speaker 1: that your superpower? I thrive under pressure. I just don't
15:18
Speaker 1: get annoyed. I don't sweat the small stuff. I am
15:22
Speaker 1: able to keep my cool in the most infuriating situations
15:27
Speaker 1: with the most infuriating people that normally piss me off.
15:30
Speaker 1: And my superpower is this ability to keep my call
15:33
Speaker 1: and never snap and never get angry. And because of that,
15:36
Speaker 1: then I have more control over the situation. What is
15:38
Speaker 1: it going to be? And there's so many different things
15:41
Speaker 1: that you could think of as a trait. You can
15:43
Speaker 1: have more than one trait, but I think it's really
15:45
Speaker 1: good to identify what is the underlying trait because at
15:50
Speaker 1: the end of the day, this alter ego comes from
15:53
Speaker 1: acknowledging or you know, being aware of something that you
15:56
Speaker 1: are lacking that you would like to have. So that's
16:00
Speaker 1: really important. The second thing that you're going to do
16:02
Speaker 1: is you're going to build this character. Okay, so you
16:09
Speaker 1: can build this character based on a future version of yourself,
16:13
Speaker 1: if you're someone that's been doing the vision boarding, if
16:15
Speaker 1: you're someone that's you know, does your birthday resolutions, which
16:19
Speaker 1: I didn't actually talk about this year. My birthday just
16:21
Speaker 1: passed a couple of days ago, and I always write
16:23
Speaker 1: down birthday resolutions and I'm going to be dead, honest.
16:26
Speaker 1: I this is the first year that I'm yet to
16:28
Speaker 1: write down my birthday resolutions, and I think it's because,
16:33
Speaker 1: for the first time ever, my plan for the year
16:35
Speaker 1: is very, very, very different to how it started off. Obviously,
16:42
Speaker 1: if you guys listened to my vision boarding episode, I
16:45
Speaker 1: did like all these you know, all these things that
16:48
Speaker 1: I wanted to tick off this year, retreats, this that,
16:50
Speaker 1: I mean, the live show, which I'm doing, which is amazing.
16:52
Speaker 1: But all these things that I wanted to tick off
16:54
Speaker 1: didn't factor in that I would be pregnant with twins.
16:59
Speaker 1: So I think I'm kind of taking it easy with
17:03
Speaker 1: what my birthday resolutions are because I guess my main
17:05
Speaker 1: resolution really is to take everything in my stride and
17:09
Speaker 1: to just really be present in as many moments as
17:11
Speaker 1: possible and to not put pressure on myself during this journey,
17:14
Speaker 1: but to basically not let things get to me. And
17:19
Speaker 1: it's been working really well. I've not stressed once through
17:22
Speaker 1: the entire pregnancy thus far, so it's really working for me.
17:26
Speaker 1: So I think, you know, especially when you're up against
17:28
Speaker 1: something that because I always say to people people like
17:31
Speaker 1: get ready, are you prepared? Are you prepared? I'm like, no, cunt,
17:35
Speaker 1: are you prepared for twins? Like, I don't think anyone's
17:39
Speaker 1: prepared for something that they have no idea of how
17:42
Speaker 1: it's going to be. However, I am open to all
17:48
Speaker 1: these different outcomes, right, I'm not attached to specific outcomes.
17:52
Speaker 1: I'm keeping a very open mind. I'm just open to
17:56
Speaker 1: many ideas. I'm open to you know, if this works,
17:58
Speaker 1: we're going to go down that path. If that doesn't work,
18:00
Speaker 1: I can pivot. That's kind of where I'm at right
18:03
Speaker 1: and that's really working for me. So I think that's
18:05
Speaker 1: why I haven't This is a huge tangent, But anyway,
18:06
Speaker 1: I think that's why I didn't set my birthday resolutions.
18:08
Speaker 1: But what I'm trying to say is when we create
18:12
Speaker 1: this character. Wow, that was a huge tangent. Anyway, when
18:16
Speaker 1: we create this character, is this character firstly you've identified
18:21
Speaker 1: like the superpower. Then you could have sub categories of superpowers,
18:25
Speaker 1: but it's like this is my main my main power.
18:28
Speaker 1: Then as we build this character, are we basing the
18:31
Speaker 1: character on this future version of yourself based on your
18:33
Speaker 1: birthday resolutions or your vision board? Do you want to
18:35
Speaker 1: base the character on someone that you really admire, someone
18:39
Speaker 1: that whether you know them personally or whether you don't
18:41
Speaker 1: someone that you're like, that is the exact trait that
18:44
Speaker 1: I want to have. That's the level of self assuredness
18:48
Speaker 1: that I want to have. That's the confidence that this is.
18:51
Speaker 1: You know those people that well, I don't even need
18:53
Speaker 1: to explain it. We all know. We all know those
18:55
Speaker 1: people that were like, ah, that fucking trait. If I
18:57
Speaker 1: had that kind of person that walks into the room
18:59
Speaker 1: and just commands attention, is that the trait you want
19:03
Speaker 1: to have? Maybe not, Maybe you're like, that's the last
19:04
Speaker 1: fucking thing I fucking want in my life is for
19:07
Speaker 1: everyone to give me attention when I walk into a space.
19:10
Speaker 1: But whatever it is, it could also be a totally
19:13
Speaker 1: new invention that you create out of thin air. It's
19:15
Speaker 1: not something you've had on your vision board. It's not
19:17
Speaker 1: really you can't pinpoint someone that exactly has those things.
19:19
Speaker 1: But if you were to like grab all the traits
19:22
Speaker 1: that you like and then you were to build a character,
19:23
Speaker 1: you've created something from scratch. So that's this is your
19:27
Speaker 1: persona around the alter ego. Questions to help you kind
19:34
Speaker 1: of fine tune this alter ego are things like, how
19:38
Speaker 1: does this person walk? How do they carry themselves? What's
19:41
Speaker 1: their posture, Like how do they talk? Are they high energy?
19:46
Speaker 1: Are they intense? Are they really relaxed? Do they have
19:49
Speaker 1: a low deep voice? Are they more high up here?
19:51
Speaker 1: Oh my god? Hi? Like? How do they talk? How
19:54
Speaker 1: do they carry themselves? What do they wear? Are they
19:58
Speaker 1: someone that will all always show up and dress the
20:02
Speaker 1: part whether they're meeting with their employee or whether meeting
20:06
Speaker 1: with a job opportunity or a potential business partner? Like
20:09
Speaker 1: what is it about? Like? What is it about this character?
20:12
Speaker 1: You know? What are they wearing? How are they carrying themselves?
20:15
Speaker 1: And remember you don't have to be this character all
20:17
Speaker 1: the time. It could just be at work, it could
20:19
Speaker 1: just be when you're in meetings. So you can lean
20:21
Speaker 1: into it, in and out of it as often as
20:23
Speaker 1: you want. But I want you to get really clear
20:25
Speaker 1: on these questions, like how do they approach an individual?
20:30
Speaker 1: How do they make people feel about themselves? Right? What
20:36
Speaker 1: does this character not care about that you currently do
20:40
Speaker 1: care about? What hang ups? Does this individual this character
20:46
Speaker 1: not even acknowledge or know that it exist that you
20:50
Speaker 1: currently have? Okay, so ask yourself these things. Now. Examples
20:54
Speaker 1: of this are obviously sush A Fis is an example,
20:58
Speaker 1: So that's fearless, commanding. We've got one that you could
21:03
Speaker 1: say future me. That could be an alter ego. I'm
21:06
Speaker 1: stepping into future me, and that could be living the
21:09
Speaker 1: life that I'm currently working on building, more confident than
21:13
Speaker 1: I've ever been gotten, rid of this negative self beliefs,
21:17
Speaker 1: really healthy relationships around me, doesn't get stressed. It could
21:20
Speaker 1: be the you know, the boss or the CEO or whatever,
21:25
Speaker 1: so you know, the creative one. You decide, and you
21:29
Speaker 1: can give it a name. I would really this is
21:31
Speaker 1: step three, actually give them a name. I would really
21:35
Speaker 1: encourage you to give this alter ego a name because
21:39
Speaker 1: it helps you switch into it. Right, I'm going to go,
21:43
Speaker 1: I'm Sasha Fears Now, I'm aout to walk on stage.
21:45
Speaker 1: I'm such a Fears I am. Whatever the name is.
21:50
Speaker 1: You might have a name that you've always loved that
21:54
Speaker 1: feels empowering, like you know, Victoria or fucking whatever whatever.
22:01
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna put ideas in your head. You
22:02
Speaker 1: come up with a name that feels empowering. You don't
22:05
Speaker 1: even have to share this name with anyone. This could
22:07
Speaker 1: be very private, so if it's embarrassing, it doesn't matter,
22:10
Speaker 1: because again that's just negative self talk, and that's your
22:13
Speaker 1: hang up for it to be embarrassing, and you don't
22:14
Speaker 1: have to share it with anyone. So pick a name
22:17
Speaker 1: that you're like, yep, that resonates with me, that feels
22:19
Speaker 1: fucking good. I really want to call this character this name,
22:22
Speaker 1: so then you the name really helps tie it up
22:26
Speaker 1: quite nicely. So it has to have a name, okay.
22:30
Speaker 1: Number four is do certain things to help you, like
22:34
Speaker 1: certain rituals or symbols to help you dive deeper into it.
22:39
Speaker 1: And this is referred to as an anchor. Okay, So
22:43
Speaker 1: when we talk about an anchor, it's kind of it
22:46
Speaker 1: could be like a phrase that you use to get
22:50
Speaker 1: you in the zone, a mantra, So she's arrived, let's
22:56
Speaker 1: fucking go. I live for this feeling. It could be
23:00
Speaker 1: a statement, it doesn't have to be. It could be
23:03
Speaker 1: something that you do physically. So how do you prime yourself?
23:07
Speaker 1: So if you look at like Tony Robbins before he
23:09
Speaker 1: gets on stage, he's jumping up and down, jumping up
23:12
Speaker 1: and down, jumping, I don't know if he even does
23:13
Speaker 1: it an alter ego thing, but what I'm saying is
23:15
Speaker 1: like that's his priming before he'll get on stage. Maybe
23:20
Speaker 1: you swing your arms around and then you're in the zonet,
23:23
Speaker 1: whatever it is. Maybe it's a certain breathing pattern that
23:25
Speaker 1: you do, and then you're dropping into this you know
23:28
Speaker 1: alter ego to this you know alter ego. Another really
23:32
Speaker 1: good way of dropping into the alter ego is a playlist.
23:35
Speaker 1: So create a playlist that's very much aligned with either
23:42
Speaker 1: the you know, the energy that you want entering it,
23:44
Speaker 1: or with the character themselves, or with this alter ego themselves.
23:47
Speaker 1: All right, So it could be rap music, or it
23:51
Speaker 1: could be classical music or whatever it is. Like if
23:53
Speaker 1: you okay, I'm going to be really academic today, I'm
23:56
Speaker 1: going to be really focused, then it's more like zen
23:58
Speaker 1: classical music. You're getting in that zone, whatever it is.
24:00
Speaker 1: But have a playlist that is titled to the name
24:02
Speaker 1: of this alter ego, and you can use that to
24:05
Speaker 1: kind of gear yourself up. It could be an album
24:09
Speaker 1: of photos, but not too many, so you're not like,
24:12
Speaker 1: you know, like maybe ten images that you prime yourself.
24:14
Speaker 1: You look at the images, yep, yep, yep, yep. Okay,
24:16
Speaker 1: I mean there's so anything that's going to help you
24:19
Speaker 1: anchor yourself into this alter ego character you're going to
24:23
Speaker 1: do it. Also, some people like to do a specific outfit,
24:26
Speaker 1: maybe if it's something that's got to do with confidence,
24:28
Speaker 1: where you're getting on a stage or whether you're performing
24:30
Speaker 1: on the court or whatever. Do you wear red socks?
24:34
Speaker 1: Do you wear a particular bra? Is this one thing
24:37
Speaker 1: that every time you're going to enter this alter ego thing,
24:39
Speaker 1: you put that thing on, you know, particular lipstick, some jewelry, whatever,
24:45
Speaker 1: it is something that you're like now embodying this character.
24:49
Speaker 1: The more of those things that you can do, the
24:51
Speaker 1: more you're going to feel that you're stepping into this
24:54
Speaker 1: role and it's going to be easier for you to
24:56
Speaker 1: kind of play that character out. And the more you
24:58
Speaker 1: do it, the more it's going to feel like another
25:01
Speaker 1: part of you, another version of yourself that exists. Okay,
25:06
Speaker 1: now number five, and this is the last point. You
25:10
Speaker 1: always remind yourself. You've got to use it when you
25:13
Speaker 1: need it. Okay. So it's not about being this alter
25:16
Speaker 1: ego all the time. It's not thinking I have to
25:18
Speaker 1: drop everything I know about myself and be this new person,
25:22
Speaker 1: this new person, because that, I think is what is
25:24
Speaker 1: also a little bit exhausting. When we look at creating
25:28
Speaker 1: this new life for ourselves. When we look at okay,
25:30
Speaker 1: transforming our lives, this and that. Sometimes it's like to
25:33
Speaker 1: carry on this version of myself twenty four to seven,
25:35
Speaker 1: it's going to be a little bit exhausting. But you
25:37
Speaker 1: don't carry any version of yourself twenty four seven. Like
25:40
Speaker 1: I mentioned earlier, there's going to be this soft, gentle version.
25:43
Speaker 1: There's going to be the couch potato version. There's going
25:46
Speaker 1: to be the high octane, intense energy. There's going to
25:48
Speaker 1: be the you know, sometimes you're just the funniest person
25:52
Speaker 1: on earth, the absolute comedian in the room. There's that
25:55
Speaker 1: you're not that person all the time. So there's always
25:57
Speaker 1: going to be these different versions of yourself. I've got
25:59
Speaker 1: like the really creative side, then I've got the really
26:02
Speaker 1: academic side. Then I've got high energy, you know, I'm
26:06
Speaker 1: bouncing off the walls, I'm constantly I'm getting up at
26:08
Speaker 1: five am. I'm going to bed really later. And then
26:10
Speaker 1: I've got like the I don't want to do fucking
26:12
Speaker 1: anything for the next couple of days. And there's all
26:14
Speaker 1: these different versions of myself, and as long as I
26:16
Speaker 1: know how to tap into each one, so they're all
26:18
Speaker 1: being fed evenly, then I feel really good. So when
26:21
Speaker 1: you think about this alter ego, don't make it something
26:24
Speaker 1: that's like, this is the new me. This is not
26:26
Speaker 1: the new you. This is the version of me that
26:29
Speaker 1: I've created for these times where I really feel like
26:32
Speaker 1: I could do with a little bit of help, Okay,
26:35
Speaker 1: where I could do with more support from myself, Where
26:39
Speaker 1: if I had that person's fucking energy going into it
26:42
Speaker 1: when I'm working, I know that I'd excel so much further. Okay.
26:47
Speaker 1: So you want to think about summoning this alter ego
26:51
Speaker 1: version of yourself when it comes to you know, hard conversations,
26:56
Speaker 1: dealing with conflict, dealing with you know, like being come
26:59
Speaker 1: up the pressure, like I said, confidence, public speaking, any
27:05
Speaker 1: moment that usually makes you play it small or shrink
27:07
Speaker 1: down or can't. That's when you want to summon this
27:10
Speaker 1: alter ego version of yourself. Okay. So to summarize, you
27:17
Speaker 1: want to number one, pick your superpower. Number two create
27:22
Speaker 1: the character around it. So, and when we're talking about
27:25
Speaker 1: creating the character, is it the future version of yourself?
27:27
Speaker 1: Is it based on someone you know? Or are you
27:29
Speaker 1: creating this from scratch? All equally as exciting, you also
27:33
Speaker 1: want to be asking yourself questions like what would this
27:34
Speaker 1: person where how, what would their posture be like, what
27:38
Speaker 1: would their voice be like? Are they intense? Are they relaxed?
27:41
Speaker 1: Are they like what? What? Are? All? These things get
27:44
Speaker 1: get specific because the more specific you can get, the
27:46
Speaker 1: easier it is for you to kind of step into
27:48
Speaker 1: that role. The next one is give them a name,
27:51
Speaker 1: and the name has to resonate with you and only you,
27:54
Speaker 1: okay um, and refer to this alter ego as that
27:59
Speaker 1: name from now on, it's oh, my alter ego. It
28:01
Speaker 1: is now this person Sasha Fears whatever. That's the name.
28:06
Speaker 1: It also doesn't have to be like a person's name.
28:08
Speaker 1: It could be Lion, it could be whatever. Okay. Then
28:13
Speaker 1: you want to find anchors to help you really ground
28:15
Speaker 1: yourself into this alter ego. So that's things like music,
28:21
Speaker 1: physical anchors. It could be you know, mantras or lines
28:25
Speaker 1: that you use to prep yourself, and of course things
28:28
Speaker 1: that you wear, whether it's makeup or jewelry or something
28:31
Speaker 1: as part of your outfit. I think that if you
28:33
Speaker 1: are an athlete, it's something that you wear could really
28:35
Speaker 1: be helpful because that's kind of the ritual of putting
28:40
Speaker 1: that thing on really starts to prime your mind and
28:45
Speaker 1: then of course use it when you need it. This
28:47
Speaker 1: is not something that you have to do all the time.
28:49
Speaker 1: And remember the benefits of this are you are detaching
28:53
Speaker 1: from your limiting beliefs because you're stepping into a different role.
28:56
Speaker 1: You're stepping out of the norm. This. You know how
28:59
Speaker 1: I talk about your default mode network. You're snapping out
29:02
Speaker 1: of that default mode network. You're increasing your ability to
29:05
Speaker 1: perform under pressure. You've got better access to feeling confident
29:10
Speaker 1: and to feeling more focused, and you feel like you've
29:14
Speaker 1: got more freedom to act outside of your pattern because
29:16
Speaker 1: you're like, no, I'm being this alter ego, so I
29:19
Speaker 1: can do that. Normally I wouldn't, but this alter ego would,
29:23
Speaker 1: so I will and I'm going to watch me. It's
29:25
Speaker 1: going to be great. So that is the episode of today.
29:28
Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed that. Go read the book. It's
29:32
Speaker 1: a great book, or listen to the audio book, and
29:35
Speaker 1: it helps you kind of really flesh out you know
29:39
Speaker 1: what your alter ego is going to be. And you
29:41
Speaker 1: know what, I don't know if I can't remember if
29:43
Speaker 1: the book says this, but you can have more than
29:44
Speaker 1: one alter ego. You can create two, three for different
29:48
Speaker 1: versions of yourself, right because you might have to show
29:51
Speaker 1: up as a different version of yourself. Maybe you are
29:53
Speaker 1: a parent and there's this one particular thing that you
29:57
Speaker 1: are with the kids and with your family which is
29:59
Speaker 1: going to be very different to how you operate when
30:01
Speaker 1: you are at work or when you are you know,
30:04
Speaker 1: just with your friends, letting your hair down, having fun. Okay,
30:07
Speaker 1: so you can create several different versions off this alter ego,
30:10
Speaker 1: but I would start with one and get really good
30:13
Speaker 1: at tapping into it, and then once you do that,
30:14
Speaker 1: then you're like, fuck, this is infinite. I could do
30:17
Speaker 1: this a thousand times over. Guys, thank you so much
30:19
Speaker 1: for listening to this today's episode. Love you guys so much,
30:24
Speaker 1: and I will see a whole bunch of you at
30:26
Speaker 1: the Adelaide Show, the Perth Show, and the Melbourne Show.
30:29
Speaker 1: I'm so excited. It's been so great. Seeing you guys
30:33
Speaker 1: in person is insane because obviously, as I've said a
30:37
Speaker 1: thousand times, I'm talking to you so often, but I
30:40
Speaker 1: rarely get to, you know, meet you guys, hug you guys,
30:45
Speaker 1: hear from you guys. So it's yeah, it's just really cool.
30:47
Speaker 1: I've been fucking really present and loving every single moment
30:51
Speaker 1: of it. And people are like, are you tired because
30:52
Speaker 1: of it? And I'm like, no, I'm tired the following day,
30:54
Speaker 1: but on the night not at all. I just have
30:59
Speaker 1: so much energy for it. I love it so much.
31:01
Speaker 1: So thank you to everyone who's bought a ticket. It's
31:03
Speaker 1: been unreal. And yeah, I'll see the hundreds of their
31:08
Speaker 1: a couple of actually thousands of you in the next
31:10
Speaker 1: couple of shows. Love you guys so much. And I
31:12
Speaker 1: always remember, be can'd to yourself, be can't to your brain.
31:15
Speaker 1: Don't take shit from anyone, and especially don't take shit
31:17
Speaker 1: from yourself. Don't care