Latest / Freedom Flip / You Get What You Tolerate In Work, Family, and Life - EP014

Transcript

You Get What You Tolerate In Work, Family, and Life - EP014 · Freedom Flip

• 0:00
  The number one mistake that parents make is that they delegate the education of their kids to somebody else. In this case, the school system, the teacher, the teacher, the dad. Who is the number one educator of your kid? For most people, it's the school system. I understand some people from the other side are screaming and tearing their hair apart. It's like...
• 0:17
  How do I do that? If you do nothing, most likely they are going to be prisoners. Somebody else is going to dictate their schedule. Somebody else is going to dictate where they have to live, where they have to commute, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. How do you think about that? There is nothing wrong with having a job. Of course, that's great. What is terrible is to live in a prison. But then please don't put the excuse that you have to work. You don't have to work. You are deciding to work. You choose to work.
• 0:40
  Amateurs think in absolutes, professionals think in probability. Perfect only exists in humans' mind. Go in nature, there's no straight line. There's no perfect. I joke about this with my wife all the time. She was a straight A student and it's a handcuff in the real world. Whenever I can feel her getting tense, I'll go, you got an A, you got an A, don't worry. It's deeply tied to entrepreneurship and why C students often hire A and B students. Where the C students like, full send, let's go, I'm gonna make mistakes, cool with it.
• 1:03
  that allows them to evolve and grow without this fixation on an outcome. Pablo, I seriously thank you because what you're doing to me is what I do to everyone. No one's inviting me into the hospital and breaking my brain in half. Welcome to the hospital. And I got a brain surgery without anesthesia. You do not have an integrator in your life. Nobody's integrating your life. That's what you need.
• 1:26
  Let's address this head on. Let's show people how to resolve conflict. Yes? Yes. Okay, good. So this is not a one-off. This is a pattern, right? And the pattern is there is always something. There's always something missing. There is a little bit there and so on and so on. And I'm talking about the recording of the podcast. Not always, but almost always. There is something.
• 1:47
  Just like, oh, I don't have the charge or this happened or whatever. So what causes in me on my side is like, oh, OK, so I am coming with this level of commitment. He's coming with lower level of commitment. And the way that I think it's like, OK, so I have kind of two options. One is I lower my level of commitment and I go more into I don't give a fuck and whatever. If I am late, I am late. And if I just whatever, let's just wing it. But I know that that's not what I want to do.
• 2:14
  So what I want is that you come here or we don't do it. So that's how I feel from my side. I would love to hear how you feel.
• 2:21
  I think you're right. And I appreciate you saying it. And I can understand it would be frustrating. I think that everything you said is correct. I think it's a good choice. I think there's two parts to consider. There's a part, which is my first priority is the kids and taking them to school from eight to nine, right? And the time zones are difficult because your time zone creates early for me. If I were to do it later, like once the kids are at school, it's late for you.
• 2:48
  A day like today is not an option. I think that's just a natural friction that happens because of time zone. Or my preferred time would be afternoon. Totally. But just to confirm on this, there's only one time that you had something and we just moved it, right? So moving, I have no problem with moving from one day to the other one.
• 3:07
  Unless you're asking me to move this yesterday. Like, let me give you an example. Let me give you one example. Aaron just dropped a message. It's like, hey, I'm going to arrive to the call 30 minutes later in Ultra. The nanny, la, la, la, I have to do the kids. I'm like, understand, all or nothing. Sorry. Okay. And let me explain why. Not because I'm an...
• 3:28
  I am not considerate of people, but just imagine that now everyone has a reason to show up 30 minutes later. Yeah, I think it makes sense. It's a slippery slope. So that's what it's like, not talking about you, but talking about them. It's like, or you do it or you don't. Because we all, at this level, can have all the excuses we want. Totally agree. The interesting question would be, do you see that as a challenge or an issue with me on Ultra?
• 3:51
  No. I haven't been late to a single call. I haven't changed a single thing. In your mind, there's two ways to think of this. One way is he cares about Ultra more than these calls with Pablo. That's one way to think about it. What are you talking about? If I'm in your shoes. You? Yeah. I haven't had a single issue with Ultra, microphone charging any of it. So either one, right? There's a path of, if I'm Pablo right now.
• 4:10
  Pablo says, hey, Peter really cares about Ultra. He doesn't care about call doing this stuff. I don't think like that, but okay, continue. Okay, good. The other way, which it sounds like is, hey, there's some issue Peter has with the podcast and being an idiot. What I'm trying to communicate not clearly is, I think, and this is a challenge I have, something I work on is, I am excited about it. Now, let's say maybe it's slightly less, right? But there's a natural friction that will always occur for me in the mornings because I choose to drop my kids off as my number one priority as a parent.
• 4:40
  I respect that. That rubs up against 9 a.m., even 10 a.m., these early calls, which is where we've been scheduling it. The scheduling creates natural friction, whereas the best time, like ultra, the afternoon or 11 a.m. to 4, wide open for me.
• 4:55
  Kids are in school, no commitment issues, right? I'm in a clear place. The morning, now it's my fault, right? Because I didn't communicate this more because you're excited. I know it's easier for you at this time. I'm thinking I'm trying to be flexible knowing you're in Europe and I don't want to keep you up late and yada, yada, yada. And even this call is helping me reflect, okay, wait, the natural challenge is I'm just not going to be good. There are going to be things that come up around pick up, drop off kids to school time.
• 5:20
  Does that make sense? More or less. So first of all, I never compare you with, oh, you are a better version in Ultra. You are like, no, zero. Like that to me doesn't even get into my thought. I'm only thinking about this. I don't care how you behave in your previous life, how you behaved in the software company. It doesn't matter to me.
• 5:36
  Because the only thing that matters is this conversation about these things. So now I am hearing from my perspective, what I see is like there is always a cable missing or there is or is almost always some slight thing that I don't know, for whatever reason, is not there.
• 5:52
  And I get to find out that five past o'clock, instead of being like, hey, this happened. So as an example, if I am meeting with you and something like Aaron says that, I will be like, okay, cool. Okay, let's meet 30 minutes later. I get it, you know?
• 6:09
  Ultra is different because we cannot allow people to have excuses and then bring the whole quality of the group down. That's different. Here is just the two of us. So now what I'm hearing is you have challenged with the time. So I am not aware of that. So if you can go into the specifics of the time, maybe we can find a solution with the time.
• 6:29
  I think to clarify it, I don't commit to anyone before 10 or 11 in the morning. Anything. Because? Because there's natural, my energy and focus is on my kids until they're at this school. Like that's all of my energy and focus. So basically from when I wake up, whether that's 6.30, 7.00, 7.30 until really kind of 9.30, all the focus is on the kids.
• 6:51
  Now, on days we do calls, I don't take the school or she doesn't actually have school every single day. So like, nothing ever gets on my calendar except you before really 11 o'clock, but 10 o'clock is reasonable because then I can actually check and be on things. Otherwise, it comes up. And this is truly something that I've been working on is I oftentimes am thinking, oh, I want to be nice or flexible for someone and make it easier on them.
• 7:19
  but it makes it really hard on me. And it ends up, right? I end up just frustrating them. I'm actually not helping them. I'm just frustrating them. And it's something I'm way better about in life of just being like, hey, this doesn't work for me. This was something I didn't do for you. It's on me for sure. I definitely can't do before 10 unless someone realizes, hey, it's right up against this whole kid time that's really important to me. And that's my priority.
• 7:41
  Okay, I hear about the kids' priority and so on, but maybe let's just separate that for one second, because I want to understand the specifics. At what time do we start this meeting in your time zone? What time is that? Eastern time zone? 9 a.m. 9 a.m. Okay, so you mentioned about, then you mentioned, I don't need to do it on these days. Yes.
• 8:01
  On some of those days, if we have a call on Wednesday, I ask the au pair to take her because even though it's really important to me, I can't do both. Okay. So like that's a conflict being realistic now and thinking about my priorities. I don't want to have that conflict. I want to take her to school and I want to do the call after. So when you take her to school, at what time do you arrive back to your house? 9.15, 9.20.
• 8:20
  First of all, I didn't know that, which is usually what happens in conflicts. But the way that I see it is, it seems that usually the conflict is about something technical. It's both. Because the reason there's technical is because I don't have time to check everything. So why do you have to do it? You Mr. Organization and delegation.
• 8:40
  My intern does it, but he's home this week because it's a holiday in the US. And I said, stay in Louisville. So he's not here today. So he literally called me at 850 and was like, hey, go through this, that, and the other. And that's when I realized he just sets it all up. He's been using his own charger. I have a charger that works, right? It's right next to me. It works in a seaport. Separate from kids, right? Let's just call it, it creates tension because the times then butt up. So I can't double check. I think the rule I use with everything else is I don't book anything before 10.
• 9:07
  I think we should use that because I am way more successful. So that's one topic. Separate topic, and I think this is going to be more helpful for you if we have guests, is let's, okay, how many calls have we done? Four. Let's call five. For sure two, probably three of those five, I've had some issue, right? For sure. I believe it's at least two that were flawless. Because you're hosting, there's a little bit less awareness you might have on just the links and what you're doing as a guest.
• 9:35
  And this is less about me and more like, okay, Peter's data technology mystery of the universe sees software companies. It's just awareness to know. It's hard. And this is something I think just explain to them. You go to the upper corner. You have to make sure you have the right link. You then put the link in and then you set all this stuff up.
• 9:50
  Now let's focus on me and my issues on this topic too. One, I do zero computer, zero. I am not on the computer ever. I'm only on the computer with ultra, that's it. Zero other computer interaction. So say Peter's one out of 10 on computer stuff because by choice, I'm not on it.
• 10:07
  I think that's one, you know, problem issue, right? It's just something I'm working through. Second, it is not easy. Like the first call we did, we probably should have done a prep call just going through all the technology. And I actually think for any guests, I do think there's like a five, whether it's someone else, us, just to say, hey, you need to do all as a guest because there's a higher bar for the guest. My expectation is that we are both putting the same in. That is my expectation. Yeah.
• 10:34
  If your expectation is, I am the star, Peter is the star, I just show up, and you put the guitar on me, and I just do my Jimi Hendrix solo, and everyone goes wild, ain't gonna work. I think this is a really good point, and maybe I don't know if I wrote this. When you first proposed the idea, I said, I love the idea of talking to Pablo, because I love talking to Pablo.
• 10:54
  And I don't know if I said this clearly or I communicated this. I don't want any of the admin work, whether we hire someone. Me neither. So I think if we're thinking through creating solutions I love, I'll do that all day of like who can set up or how we can do. Like I don't want to put a bunch of work on you on whatever it is to do this Riverside thing.
• 11:12
  I'm on the same page of as long as there's no work for me and you, right? I'm not asking for you to take on more. I want zero admin. And if there is admin on this, it's not. I'd rather just call you on WhatsApp and talk and say, OK. I'm just only talking about the part of showing up. Let me give you an example. Imagine that is the part of showing up or we say, dude, we I'm just going to give you a random example. We want to talk with myself.
• 11:36
  You're like, yeah, it's my uncle. It's like, great, Peter, set it up. And then you never set it up. It's like, Peter, what the fuck, dude? You never set it up. You never introduced me. I'm asking you one thing, right? It's like, can you set it up with this person that is your uncle? That would be an example of like, come on, do something for the show. Yeah.
• 11:52
  I think that expands the role that both you, let's reverse it, right? I'm like, Pablo, set this thing up. I do think that expands beyond us talking because my priority is just upgrading my software with you. Whether or not we bring in extra people, like some of them will say no, some of them are not responsive, all of this stuff. I do think that adds, quote, administrative work to us. The way that I see it is a different story to say, okay, we want to speak with all the people that are incredible in quantum computer.
• 12:20
  Okay, Peter, go do research. Okay, Pablo, 50-50, okay? Like, no, that's horrible. Nobody wants that life. What I just said is, just pay attention to this. You say, oh, my uncle is top quantum computer person. Oh, great. Can you text him? Text him. Yeah, don't worry. I get it. Okay, can you? Yes, yes, don't worry. And then you never do it. That's what I mean. That is not admin. Come on. That is, it's like me asking you, Peter, bring three topics to talk in the call. And he's like, oh, that's admin. I'm not going to do that because I am just Jimi Hendrix and I just show up.
• 12:50
  for the solo I agree if someone commits to something they should show they should do what they commit to yeah
• 12:59
  good something i am working on still is this and i mean this in a real way you're gonna you're gonna be like shut up is i've over i've over committed in the past i've over committed to things like what this is gonna make you laugh so much people would be like hey i want to do this at 10 a.m in my mind i'm like in the best case scenario i can make it a 10 most likely i'm there at 10 15 realistically i'm there at 10 20
• 13:21
  I wanted to deliver for them. So I'm like, yeah, let's do it at 10. Yeah, right? And it's not, I don't, maybe I was lying in some scenarios, but I think mostly it was like, if everything hits just right, I can be there at 10 o'clock. Optimism bias and you're like very optimistic. And yeah, okay, okay, okay. It's an optimism bias. Plus it's a, I love this person and I want to make their life easier. And I know that it's way easier for them at 10 and it's harder at 10, 20. So I'll put the work on my back.
• 13:48
  And I'll just, you know, drive through the barricade and no stop signs. And I'm there at 10, right? That is something that I've realized I was prioritizing the other person and deprioritizing myself. And it's been this unwiring, right? It's been a really cool. It comes from my mom. Like my mom is very much, if anyone's, you make them mad or upset, right? You've done something wrong. Like your job in the world is to make them feel good. Make them happy. Yeah.
• 14:08
  Make them happy. Yeah, truly. Happy wife, happy life, right? Yes. And that whole stuff, right? I'm unwiring all of that. And it's layers and layers and layers. And this is uncovering, right, an example, which is I don't do calls for anything. No meetings, nothing before 10 a.m., right? I made an exception. That exception is not working because of me. And because of me saying, oh, well, you're up three hours, right, or six hours, blah, blah, blah. Now, you didn't know any of this.
• 14:35
  It has nothing to do with you or the other person, right? It's these games in my head of, I already know what makes your life easier. I'm trying to do that. It's making my life a lot harder and I'm not communicating that. Now, that's one reason. Separate technology, for sure. And by the way, okay, technology, I think that we got it. My feedback to you is over delegation, not perfectly, clearly, because you have a
• 15:00
  You have people that are working there that can't set up the... So you just show up like Jimi Hendrix. Like, for example, nobody needs to set up this for me. Because I have it already set it up. Period. End of the story. I have my charger. It's right there, plugged in, always, all the time. I never remove it. You know that I have several chargers. One for traveling, one for here, another one just in case. It's good planning.
• 15:21
  I have cables everywhere. I don't need to make any changes. So nobody needs to set it up because it is already set up for me. So I think that in this over delegation, sometimes you miss the simplicity of set and forget. And also you miss the capacity to navigate the situation. It's like, oh my gosh, two USB-C. Okay.
• 15:46
  I think everything you're saying is correct. I think the navigate, I think, is a strength of mine. I think that's where it's not a strength of mine when it's next to a separate event. Because then I don't have the time or the focus. I'm not in the mode of my kid with the day has not ended yet. That's my biggest friction that I'm just realizing. The podcast piece, I'm actually not done. I need to get a special charger that has the long thing because I only have two. That was me recognizing today.
• 16:12
  right? The intern just takes care of it. So I don't have to think about it. You're right. I'm showing up. He has it done. It was his charger, you know, and I don't have another option. Now this never happens except podcast. I know you don't care. I need to say the podcast is important enough. Today I will be purchasing a separate charger that stays here forever.
• 16:28
  Great point. And let me just share one thing. I doubt that this only happens for the podcast. I would say, yes, it happens specifically the charger for the podcast, but I am pretty sure that this happens in other areas of your life. Because if you are going with this over delegation, let's call it, then you have this weakness because you have these gaps in the system.
• 16:50
  I don't know what they are. I'm just throwing it there because it's very, very hard when someone says, oh, this only happens here. Yeah, it happens seven times here. But trust me, this only happens here. I'm like, ah, I don't think so. Okay. You're right in terms of general. This is actually a really interesting point, especially, I think, even for people that are thinking about delegating and the trade-offs.
• 17:11
  There's no solution, only trade-offs. The trade-offs you identified are all correct. I think just very specific about here, you know, Zoom's not that complicated, right? You turn on your phone, you click a link, you know, on a computer or phone. Because you did already a million things, a million Zooms. The first time that you joined Zoom, I don't know if you remember, but it's like, how do I do it? How do I change the microphone? How do I do? Now it's second nature. The same is going to happen with this, of course.
• 17:36
  Correct. I just mean in a very literal sense. I have a charger that works just fine for my computer, except during podcasts, right? So that's one. Separate from the podcast, let's go general. You're right. It's less control. But I love that because I say, you are in charge of this. I wouldn't say less control. But it is less control, right? Because I can't immediately solve it. I'm suggesting, requesting, and expecting someone else to solve that problem when it comes up, without me even knowing about it.
• 18:03
  That is beautiful. Yes, that is called delegation, having somebody else in charge. But let me just share one thing. Your intern was never in charge because if he had been in charge, he wouldn't have led you there to die without a charger. And he literally calls me and he goes, I didn't think about the charger. There you go. You're fired immediately.
• 18:25
  I think, well, and Pablo, you hit home, like this, she's managing her house. She's like, dude, always a step ahead. And then you said this to me and it really hits home. And I told her, so I was like, in every position, you just find someone
• 18:38
  They're a step ahead. They're absolutely incredible. And anytime we settle for less. You get what you tolerate. We get what we tolerate. That's it. You're right. And it hit them in a deep way of like, that is the only way. And you're flipping it, right? You're flipping. You're saying most people just say, ah, you know, Johnny's here or Sarah's here. If we flip it and we say, cool. Cool.
• 18:59
  I love them, respect them. I'm looking for people here. And you got a week or a month to be here. If you can't make that jump, cool. Let's find you another role, better job that fits you, better fit, blah, blah, blah. But it's not here. And I think that is a beautiful reminder for me, right? Because we have it on the home front, right?
• 19:18
  Do I need it in the personal front? And even with like my personal assistant, right? You gave some good feedback. Now, she's got 12 years of knowledge. She really operates in a level. But email was something that where she wasn't. And I just said, look, I never want to be an email. Never. I'm making a new rule. I delete it from my phone. I'm not an email. You have to come to me. You're in charge of this now. And flight switch.
• 19:38
  Now, again, that's on me because I actually think I was holding on to it. Like I wanted to feel important. So I'm still like getting in my email like twice a week. And it was a broken system because of me. Now, she's an example of that was my bad communication. The moment I gave the ball to her, she's run. Like, I don't need to look. We're like a month in and it's just it works. It works great.
• 19:58
  I love that. Definitely. I am still on email and I don't really receive anything important, but I just receive. That is a thousand paper cuts death, the typical one, especially because there's nothing really important. Nothing. And it zaps our energy. Here's the beautiful part about us talking, right? It's like you're pushing me on something and you're right. And I'm like, yeah, I need to only have this bar.
• 20:18
  of excellence, right? The flip side is I'm going to push you, right? And say like, hey, the next thing is they can scan, resolve. And if they can't, they can always reach out via text message and say, this is urgent. I had assistants and they took care of the email, but that was when I was working on a day-to-day in the business.
• 20:37
  Now that I am not. Same thing, man. It's an easier excuse to be like, oh, it's like it's like not having an assistant. Very easy to have an assistant when you have a business, when you don't have a business, when you have your life, which is maybe the most important business ever. Then you have a OK, I don't need I don't need an assistant because, you know, what is she going to do? What is she going to do?
• 20:58
  I mean, you flipped me on this one and it really changed my life. And when we are going to meet the people on Monday and we're going to give a chat and many people, they exited the business. They don't have an assistant anymore. They don't. They are booking their hotels. They are booking their airplanes. Our friend Aaron, I love him talking about being on. I can't. The thing that blows my mind is when I hear people that are in like.
• 21:21
  these astronomical wealth scenarios and there's still like when i hear here pet pete this will laugh you the things that like get me riled up one when i hear them talking about like being on their phone booking stuff i can't tell you the last it's been a decade since i've booked anything and a decade ago i had no money zero but i knew kind of like what you say i need to operate here
• 21:45
  right to actually get to this level right that's one so people booking their own stuff number two is people that have created some wealth eating mcdonald's and garbage food like we are what we eat right why would you create this you know quote wealth or let's just call it fiat currency stockpile to not use it to create actual wealth what is actual wealth time with your kids a healthy body and healthy mind this is real wealth
• 22:09
  You're converting this fiat currency into the highest quality food you can get prepared, ready to go, ready to eat. When I see somebody, it's like, oh, yeah, we stopped talking to somebody that flew a private jet to the event we were at. They're like, yeah, we grabbed whatever, McDonald's on the way of our mic. I'm like, what is going on?
• 22:25
  Well, let me push back on that one, because in theory, I agree with you, of course. But there is an emotional component when it comes to food that makes no sense. And the strongest minded people are able to control the beast and never eat an ice cream and never blah, blah, blah, blah. And never eat McDonald's or never. And now a difference. We are not talking about the people that always eat ice cream.
• 22:50
  OK, that is obvious. Like the person that is 100 pounds overweight and it's wealthy. What's going on? That is a different situation, which in this organization, there is a lot. Right. Especially the 60 plus. Yeah. But then you have, again, grabbing a McDonald's.
• 23:07
  If you grab a McDonald's three times a year, is that a smart decision from a health perspective? No, of course. Drinking one beer? Of course not. Having a bad night's sleep? Of course not. What about getting into a fight with someone? What about discussing with your, arguing with your wife? You know that arguing with your wife ain't a good idea.
• 23:25
  But we all do it. You all know. Let me tell you, I'm going around here. You know that getting upset at your kid is not a good idea. But very, very few Mahatma Gandhis are able to never get upset to their kids and get emotional or shout and so on. And I know that you have a big philosophy on this, but just think about everyone else.
• 23:43
  So I think that there is an emotional component, especially with food. I don't know if this is ingrained here or previous lives. I don't know where this is coming, that we were like starving since forever. And therefore, I don't know, something triggers. And they were like, yeah, yeah, yeah, McDonald's. Yeah. And they're like, why the f*** did I eat that? Oh my gosh, I feel like sh**.
• 24:02
  I love it. I love that you span all these different areas because everyone I heard, all I heard is like I translate that as you're right. The only way to get it is that James Clear, Tom McCabot author, he says, you don't rise to the level of your goals, you fall to the level of your systems.
• 24:18
  And it's funny because, you know, I sold my business five years ago. I could riff on a system for each one of the things you've said, right? If I meditate, oh, that creates space between the stimulus of what happens for my wife, space, response, that's who I am, right? Okay, SSRI. And SSRIs are what people take for depression and kind of numb these emotions. It's like, okay, now if I can either take an SSRI or I can meditate to create the same outcome, right, which is not yelling and fighting or being stressed about things.
• 24:45
  So it's creating these systems through our life. So food, totally agree. Now, how do you create? Well, you have food already in the fridge. You already have it ready. So you don't even make the choice to go to McDonald's, right? You don't even make the decision because it's prepped meals. It's the neighbor down the street that you pay her a little extra and she preps your meals. Or if you have enough money, you get the private chef or you get the private prepped food, right? If you're going to a nice place, you just call ahead and it's ready to go. It's there for you beforehand or you have someone on your team order the food ahead. We have a rule in our family. Never-
• 25:14
  be in an airport without food that you bring, ever. That's our rule. It's like nothing happens if you go to bed after 11 p.m. or something like that. I know you like the one of my little, like I'm taking her bed late at like 8.30 and she's going, the stairs going, you pop me night, night. And it's like, you know, for a sweet little two-year-old, nothing good happens after 7 p.m. For, you know, you and me, nothing good happens after 11 p.m.
• 25:35
  Nothing good happens at an airport when you don't have food and you have hunger. Nothing. So we come with a bag where it looks like every time we pack, it's like, it looks like there's two days of food. By the time we arrive, you know, it connects. You're in an airport commercial, fly between two, four kids and parents. We crush all of it. And it's because we have a system, right? I know you love the kids stuff. We do EOS, right? As a family. We just started it two weeks ago. It's amazing. And one of the big ones we noticed was the whole day gets up.
• 26:02
  for school, even if they don't have school, if they don't go to bed at, you know, they wake up around 7 to 7.30 for school. And we identified, right, it all starts with dinner the night before. And if you can have dinner at 5 p.m., beautiful. If you have dinner at 6.30,
• 26:21
  Toast. Explosion. Whole night. Next morning. Next day just rolls down the hill. And it's just creating these simple systems that are so powerful. What do you think of that? I think that is great. Now let me ask you, the system is there so you can, you don't need to think much. You just execute. You just do whatever you prepared for you to do. Now, let's just go, a person that has no system, the life is 90% chaos, let's say. Now,
• 26:49
  yeah it's it's all random decisions whatever i am feeling whatever i am how my emotional state did i sleep good no it doesn't matter but then you start putting systems in all these different areas are your systems intended to take you to a hundred percent perfection or what level great question you know i i've pushed you on this quote a lot and i love when i hear you say it to other people um i doubt i made it up but i'm obsessed with it amateurs think in absolutes professionals
• 27:16
  And I think that's a layered problem where this whole perfect thing, perfect only exists in humans' minds. Go in nature, there's no straight line. There's no perfect. Even if they look straight, they're not. There's little squiggles. So real life is I'm here, I wanna go here. It's kind of circle, go up, crash, go up, crash, go up, crash, and you might end up above or even a little below. It's just a directional, and I think even, especially as a parent, you can't get fixated on this outcome of I'm gonna start here with my kid and get here.
• 27:45
  you get fixated on values of we want to just generally trend in this circle, crash up in this direction. But I don't care if little Billy doesn't learn chess, right? But we had fun playing and he worked hard and he learned and he was curious. Okay, the values are aligning. Same thing for adults, same thing for me and my systems. And I joke about this with my wife all the time. She was a straight A student and it's a handcuff in the real world. Whenever I can feel her getting tense, like if something goes wrong or she did something quote wrong,
• 28:13
  I'll go, you got an A. You got an A. Don't worry. I started doing this a month ago and it works so well because it pulls her out of when these straight A students, and I think it's deeply tied to entrepreneurship and why C students often hire A and B students. If you're attached to believing you can go from start of school, straight A's, that's a perfect straight line outcome. Where the C student's like, meh, full send, let's go. Like, I'm going to make mistakes. Cool with it.
• 28:39
  that allows them to evolve and grow without this fixation on an outcome, right? In A, a perfect result. The word perfect doesn't exist in my vocabulary. I always say, where's perfect? Show me. Give me an example.
• 28:54
  It doesn't exist. So let me tie it back now to the McDonald's. So let's say, I don't know, maybe this person doesn't have the systems in place, but let's say that the person has the systems in place. They have great food in their house and so on. Private jet, incredible experience. And they're like, you know what? Let's just do a McDonald's. Let's just do a big cone of ice cream. Let's just do donuts. What's your assessment of that?
• 29:15
  My existence, they're free, right? Like, let's play this out. You're my wife or my best buddy. No, but let's say that you are the coach. You are their coach. Oh, I'm my kid's coach. My kids see me do my own hard stuff, but in their decisions, I'm a coach. In their life, I try and be a coach. In my own life, I also try and be an example for them. Let's use the kid one because I think that's a fun one. I take them not to my control or my rules or box they need to live in. I say, let's talk about the second order consequence.
• 29:40
  How are you going to feel in two hours or tomorrow morning? Is your belly going to hurt? Now we can go. That's one path. We could also, we got this healthy ice cream or we got this healthy thing. What if we do that and it's right there and it's ready to go? Right now we have friction drive bike to McDonald's. We have no friction, healthy food in the house. That's a system to make it easier to say, now we can choose to have our stomachs feel terrible, probably feel like we would physically feel ill because we haven't had McDonald's and I don't know.
• 30:07
  I haven't had them 15 years. But like in high school, my now wife, my girlfriend, we'd go to McDonald's to get fish filet. And everybody thought fish filet are disgusting. And they are. But it was the only thing I ate at McDonald's. She got into them. And it was like our fun joke. If she looked at me tonight and was like, let's go get fish filets for good old time. They'd be like, all right. Do you want to feel like junk tomorrow? Yeah. It's Saturday. Let's feel like junk. It's funny. It's a one time. I don't believe in absolutes. Yes. If she's all about it, I would do it.
• 30:31
  So let me ask you, you sound like you have your food situation. You have it pretty. I'm not talking about the system. I'm talking about the emotional control of the food. So let me let me just ask to see if I am getting if I am seeing this right. Have you ever went on a binge? Candy and sweets are my that's my binge. So when do you binge?
• 30:51
  Usually, if I'm not in my house, I don't have my systems or routine, and we're at some kind of event, and they have like chocolate chip cookies or something good. And I think it's like because there's this repressed emotion. What is the repressed emotion, you mean? I say no to cookies all the time. Most of the time I get dessert offered, I'm like, nope. In my mind, I'm like, get that dessert.
• 31:10
  I see. You are repressing that. Okay, got it. Yeah. And it ties, there's a really cool stat that shows the countries with the most repressed, strongest religious philosophy or whatever represses sexual urges. They have the best performing priests. They have the highest usage on pornography sites, by far. They're the highest, right? So it's like pushing a ball down in water and...
• 31:32
  And then it comes shooting out, whether it's sexual urges or this emotional urges on food, right? So the root cause of this is like a scarcity is my lizard brain saying you need it or you're going to die and you want these things. I also think the challenge we have today with food is. I think that is different, but let's just, yes, continue.
• 31:50
  Much of food in mind, sad, standard American diet, they're pumped full of, it's just drugs, right? The tobacco companies all bought the food companies in the 90s when they were going bankrupt. They turned these foods into drugs, right? They're food-like substances. So they have an addictive quality. So it's just like any drug. If I start smoking cigarettes, I'm going to think I need cigarettes. So it's creating the break and not coming back to it that is really important in today's food.
• 32:14
  Okay, a couple of things. Let's go back to the sweets. In your case, you said you think that you want the sweets because of the repression. But what I want to ask you is, do you ever get in an emotional situation? You feel sad, depressed? Not that you want to kill yourself, but like you feel...
• 32:33
  Meeting went really bad. I don't know. You feel doubts about yourself, some negative emotion. And then don't you have that trigger? I'm like, oh, maybe I want to eat something sweet. I know that's common. And I watched it with my two-year-old daughter. She just went through it. And I watched us programming her and my wife. Answer about you and then share the story about her.
• 32:52
  I don't really have that. That's not a programming layer I personally have in my life. I know it exists. I'm not a saint. If I've got plenty of problems, I'm unprogramming. That is not one that's been programmed into me. I think a lot of people, especially maybe people overweight or unhealthy, there was programming and layering that was added to them at some point or some way.
• 33:11
  So my daughter, we were on a bike. She got her foot around the protective thing, kind of looped it around. I don't know how. She never sits in the back of the seat. Got her foot in and it got scraped, like really bad on the side of the tire. I was freaked out. It's kind of been probably my biggest like oops mistake as a, like it really shook me because I saw like it ripped off a bunch of layers of skin.
• 33:31
  I bring her home. My wife gets her like, I think, ice cream or something and puts on Frozen. Now, I don't allow any movies or TVs. Frozen? A movie. Kids, it's a Disney movie, Frozen. Yes, yes. And fortunately, it's so crazy because she can stub her toe and she'll cry for 30 minutes. She had this horrible accident. She cried for the same amount of time, like 30 minutes. Then she was like, fine.
• 33:51
  Which just kind of blew my mind, right? I don't know how much of it is her like wanting to get attention and reaction and how much is actual physical pain because she might have a high pain tolerance but not show it. So then the next day, you know, we get her bandaged. She's okay. It's healing. The next day she like stubs her toe.
• 34:07
  Or something. And she goes, I need frozen. I need frozen ice cream. Wow. She's two years old. Two years old. Two and a half years old. Wow. Yeah. And so my view is, right? You had a hard day, Pablo. Little Pablo, who's five. Let's go get you some ice cream. You had a hard day. You know, in my case, I don't drink alcohol. So...
• 34:27
  It's never really been a part of my life. Like I got blacked out, I don't know, in high school. And I was like, I don't like this. I ended up doing a bunch of stuff I regret. College, like a handful of blackouts, handful of blackouts in 20s. But like, let's call it 10, 12 times. And just like haven't touched alcohol, I don't know, like 10, 12 years. Just it's not part of my life. But my wife, she, it's part of her ritual at night. Pour some wine, relax. It creates relaxing. Well, I got her into like tea and we just replaced the trigger to be warm tea. So I
• 34:54
  I just, it's just layering. And I think we can call it like deeper emotional needs, whatever. I think it's just a habit that has formed by someone somewhere that we can swap the software, right? With some better habit. I have the sugar thing. So I was basically what your daughter is going to be unless you guys change. And it's very difficult, very difficult. And...
• 35:17
  So I copied this from my mother and I'm sure that my mother gave me this, right? Also, meaning like, oh yeah, just get the dessert. Here's dessert. Here's whatever. And definitely getting sweets, getting a dessert and whatnot just gives you like a massive dopamine boost. And now you're all on drugs and it's tasty and so on. I would say that I think that it could be very possible for someone that doesn't have this...
• 35:45
  let's call it addiction, to say, oh, come on, which is kind of like what you are doing now, which is like, oh, come on, it shouldn't be that hard. I would say, I wish it's not that hard, but I think that it is for, in my case, I have the habit or the addiction of using food to change an emotional state.
• 36:05
  And I am working on that. But man, it's hard. Like I would be able to do that if I am like jailed in my house without access to Uber Eats and someone brings me food under. And that would be the only way because I'm not going to chew the table, right? Yeah.
• 36:22
  I want to say two things. One, I'm just trying to hit a less judgmental stage of life. Like, I don't doubt it, right? Alcohol addict, right? Somebody who tries methamphetamine, like, I believe there's physiological beliefs, needs, responses. But back, my mom, we didn't have any sweets in the house. Like, it just didn't exist. So it just wasn't even on the table as a you feel bad, here, I have this. You have four more siblings. Five. Five more siblings. Do any of them have any kind of sugar addiction? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 36:50
  Oldest one, definitely. And I think it actually ties into, we have a bunch of bipolar, manic-compressive in my family. And I think some of that can get triggered. Epigenetic switch, right, gets flipped when you're just crushing your guts out of order. So oldest one, huge sugar. Second one, I don't think so. Third one, I think really into sweets.
• 37:10
  Where did you get it into sweets? How? So once I started making my own money in high school and stuff, I would go to the vending machine. And this is the challenge that we talked about. When I had the kids, I was like, zero sweets. Never. People would get annoyed at me at birthday parties because they'd be like, nope, put it away. And I'm creating this monster in my own kids that are like, well, dad, I just wanted to...
• 37:32
  a little cookie. I was challenged by a friend, Dimitri. He did a great job. He stayed with us kind of like you for three days. And I said, hey, what would you change if you were me? And he goes, I would help your kids find their own intrinsic reason why not to eat more sweets and let them find those rather than you create these barriers. It's like,
• 37:49
  Okay. And he goes, I'm a freedom first guy. Like he moved from Russia because he wanted full freedom. He's in America now. He's like, why don't you, I need to text him and say thank you for this because it changed my life. He's like, what if you just let him eat the, and we didn't even have sweets in the house, but it was like blueberries, strawberries, all of this that I'd be like, you can have five. It's like, why are you stopping with five? Even with strawberries? Yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 38:10
  I was like, can't have too much sweets. Like I was obsessed with it. Oh, even if it's natural sweets? Even natural, I was like, I don't want you getting too much sugar, period. Right? Because they wouldn't eat a regular meal and then they'd only eat berries. And it was like, you know, whatever. I don't use the same software anymore. So he goes, what if you don't do anything? So I did nothing. Did nothing. And they would always grab one extra, you know, three, four...
• 38:34
  And then more than I, quote, wanted arbitrarily. And then they stopped on their own. And I was like, man, he's so right. Now, the problem is we did shift back and you recognize us and you were right. I think too many sweets are wonderful one step ahead of us, Nanny. She goes, yeah, in Sweden, Saturday is candy day. And I was like, what do you mean? She goes, yeah, everybody knows this. As kids, Saturday is candy day. You just don't eat it. You don't get it. And you actually feel bad if you're doing it outside of Saturday.
• 39:02
  So on Saturday, you go to the store with your parents and you pick your candy and you buy your candy bar and like whatever, one other thing and you have it. And it's Saturday. So she started that with the kids. It's been amazing because the kids are like, no, no, it's not. It's not candy day, dad. We don't we don't have that. Like to me, when I'm going to eat something that's not healthy or to them. Now, are they perfect? No, but it's just created this cool system. Right. So we're going to go get those ice cream pops on Saturdays because it's candy day and they can go to a store and pick a candy that's special.
• 39:27
  Let's go to a more radical approach, which is, dude, those candy bars or those cookies, they are just filled in with bullshit, with drugs. Why would you accept giving drugs to your own kid? Love it. Why don't you give alcohol to your kids? Why, you know?
• 39:44
  I look at even within this span of where you're going, like we have this healthy cookie store and this healthy ice cream bar. Like we can direct them there and then say, hey, this whole store is yours. And it's kind of guardrails on life, right? It's like we as parents, if you're on the highway driving and for those listening in 10 years that are like, what, you drove cars yourself? That's great.
• 40:05
  Stone Age, you used to drive the cars as humans. Now, we had these guardrails if somebody's bad at driving that would catch you before you go off the cliff. Like, I think adults, and I actually really encourage parents to invite the kids into their own struggle. So I will explain, I really want this too, but it's going to give me cavities.
• 40:23
  My wife showed our daughter what cavities look like. And this is a daughter is four years old. She put down a cookie and goes, I don't want that. Can I go brush my teeth? So it's and it's saying I'm the same way. Right. And it's inviting them to say even the phone. Right. The phone's another. It's a drug. The dopamine hits. We say the kids say to us, do you want to be on your phone? And my son will take my phone to learn how to read. And even that it's like still kind of a dopamine game, but he's really learning how to read.
• 40:50
  And I'll be like, do you want to be on the phone? And you'll see him, or do you want to go play outside? And I think this whole division between adult and kid is just wrong. Like I unsubscribe from all of it. Treat your child as an adult already. Give them the respect, the encouragement to say you have two paths, just like I have two paths. You know what, Teddy? I was on my phone for an hour today, and I was doom scrolling on Instagram. So, you know, I don't have social media, but I do on YouTube is my doom scrolling or X. I get caught occasionally.
• 41:17
  And he'll look at me and go, did you get caught scrolling? Should you be off your phone? Like he helps, encourages me to do the right thing, be a better example for him and a better person. He's doing that at five. Like, why would we not do the same thing back to him at five? Okay, let's just take the position now of a couple. They're working full time. They don't work from home. They go to an office. Some people might say they are prisoners. That's not what we would say. We would never say that.
• 41:43
  But they have two kids, right? Because they said, we're going to stop at two because three would be more difficult. I know that you have your thoughts about three becomes easier. We already spoke about this. But the question is, how can they educate their kids by spending a couple of hours a day with them when they're getting educated by the educational system, by the school, by the teachers, by the whoever is spending time with them?
• 42:07
  That's a deep question. The first one, for somebody who doesn't listen to the other part, if you name a word for a kid, first kid, the word is adrenaline. It's pure adrenaline. Second kid, broken. It breaks you. It breaks the system you have because you go from the software of how to raise a kid, how you've learned, seen, whatever. Second, it breaks it. Third kid is freedom. Set you free. It breaks that software system, sets you free in a new way, and all the others are bonus.
• 42:33
  Let me drop the story. I was walking the dog and I meet this guy and he's walking his kid, a kid two years old. And he has also another kid, a baby, four months old. And he's an employee in a big company. And he's living a comfortable life, let's say. He's not rich, but he's not poor. He's living a comfortable life.
• 42:54
  And I said, so are you going for the third one? He's like, no, no, no, no, no, it's too expensive. And I'm like, well, too expensive? What do you mean? And of course, he cannot articulate what he means because it makes no sense, right? What he's saying. Because I'm like, if money is the problem, then why the poorest families have the most amount of kids? That makes no sense. Just go and check how many kids are having people in Africa.
• 43:20
  and people in Northern Hemisphere, in Europe or in the USA and Canada. And I'm like, so what are you working on? What's your job? And he's like, well, I was in this company and then they closed the division. So now I'm off of work for three months. And in the last day, you know, everyone was kind of like crying like, and he was just so, it's like, I was so happy. I'm like, dude, that's amazing. I get three months to spend with my kids. This is, this is wealth. This is, and I'm thinking, so wait a second.
• 43:50
  spending time with your kids is real wealth, but then you are telling me that having another kid is expensive? How do you square these two things? I think that there's no thought process to square these two things because they just don't square. And I think that he was speaking from the broken perspective.
• 44:10
  Man, two kids, four months old, two years old and a boy. The boy is like electric, like incredible. So he was broken. He was speaking from that broken perspective. He was broken. He's like, dude, I just cannot. I cannot. So what do you say to that kind of father that definitely he has the means? He has the means.
• 44:30
  And it's not that he's going to become a billionaire if he doesn't have a kid. His life, his financial life will not really change. So what do you say to that kind of person that is stopping because of a financial worry and because they are broken? I try and just judge less. Anyone, anything? Hey, Pablo. I was there, man. I thought I was going to get divorced. We were miserable. It broke us fully. I totally...
• 44:56
  Totally get it, right? I understand if you choose to only have two. I'm just going to give you another perspective. When we had three and the third was the hardest in terms of cranky and all these things, it allowed us to break through like a butterfly in that dark, dark, wrapped up cocoon and come out of that.
• 45:15
  into this beautiful marriage family, and the oldest kids started helping with the younger, they played with each other. And it's not two just banging their heads against, it's three, which is a magical number, right? That three creates a triangle that can really stand on its own. They play with each other. They stopped coming into our room in the morning, they went into the youngest room, and the three of them would play for hours in the morning, not even look at us.
• 45:38
  They're learning from each other, growing with each other, wearing each other out with their energy. It set us free to reinvest in our own marriage and our relationship. And it makes sense logically that two to three becomes harder, but it's not reality based on our experience and most of the parents I've met. And the way to check the receipts on that is go ask any parent with three or more kids how many to have, and they say, have as many as you can. Most say that. Ask kids one and two, and they all tell you, don't have more than one or two.
• 46:06
  So we all live in our own little world of software that we've created or we believe and we know. And how would you tackle the mental block of saying, oh, but it's very expensive. We just cannot afford it. And you know that they can, okay? They make six figures. So how do you tackle that? It's like, oh, easy for you to say because you're rich. I think there's a lot of misconceptions. Like our kids, if we're traveling, we get one hotel room with one bed and they all sleep on the floor. So when we make up these assumptions like,
• 46:35
  People are starting to call child protection. So please explain what you mean. Yeah, yeah. I'm 100% serious. We throw pillows on the floor and they sleep on the ground. The kids will sleep on the ground. They choose. They have a bed to sleep on in our house. And they choose to sleep on pillows on the floor. I can explain this. I went and stayed with Peter. So I go and I look at the bedroom. And the bedroom is a small bedroom with a queen-size bed, maybe. And that's for the eldest boy, five years old, and then for the...
• 47:03
  four-year-old girl. And they sleep together. I'm like, oh, cool. So you sleep here together. Oh, it's like, no, no, we sleep here on the floor. I'm like, oh. And it's not just normal pillows that you use for your head. It's like these square blocks of, I don't know, it's like a transportable mattress. I don't know what it is. We sleep here. I'm like, why? Just my brain is like 404. I just don't comprehend. Like, what's going on? Like, why? And it's like, oh, no, because it's much more comfortable. I'm like, yes, keep going. I want to understand...
• 47:33
  It's like, no, it's just much better. And in the other one, you have, if we sleep in the bed, the bed has all this, how do you call it? Like these places where, no, but you know that the shape of the mattress has these channels or whatever you call it. It's like, it's uncomfortable. I'm thinking like, holy shit, I never thought about that. I never thought about that. And they just sleep on these three little pillows. And they're like, yeah, of course.
• 47:59
  I was like, this is unbelievable. I love this. And that started, we went down to Florida and I was in this bad software. Kids need beds and cribs and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then it was like, we had guests and you know, I want people around. So we're in a relatively small like cottage with three bedrooms. And we had a family in one bedroom, a family in another bedroom with kids in each. So all of our kids are in a room and they just sleep on the floor. And we're like, oh, this works fine. Let's just do this all the time. So we really encourage it. And because now we can travel lighter
• 48:28
  And that applies to every part of parenting, right? Clothing. You reuse the same clothes you had for the older kids, right? Or you go to, there's plenty of these places you can rebuy clothing. The other thing is the kids take care of each other. So you need less help in general. Like I highly encourage family, nannies, au pairs, all of that. But let's say you financially and you've created this belief you can't have any of that. Okay. Okay.
• 48:49
  The kids do the work. The older kids want to help. The number one person to help raise a six and under kid in these tribes that have been around for 5,000 years. Do you remember what it is, Pablo? The number one person in percentage of time to help a kid six and under in these tribes like Inuits in Alaska and Masai Mar and all these. Guess who spends the most amount of time raising the six and under kids?
• 49:13
  kid, the older sister. Yes. A girl, 6 to 12. Usually a sister or a kind of neighborhood friend, whatever. The majority. It's like 27, 28% of the time. It's the largest percentage of raising them. But Peter, what's going to happen with the career of that woman? She will have an amazing career whether she chooses to be
• 49:33
  an amazing mother or go in another route. And we support her in all these paths because we truly support women in all ways. I mean, I'm unique. I think I've told you this. My grandma went back to medical school and that's what I grew up with. But then my mom stopped teaching and was with us every day. So I got all these crazy examples to see as a kid.
• 49:50
  What do you say, I mean, some people, well, most likely, you know, for the people, the keyword warriors that are like, but you are brainwashing her to blah, blah, blah, to have babies or to be a mother or to whatever. Yeah, I think it's, I changed a lot, right? And this is, again, back to why I try not to judge. I came out and I was like, I'm going to raise my daughters and sons the same way, exact same way.
• 50:14
  Like we're going to just treat them the same. They're both going to dominate the world and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Bad software. Okay. They come out and I've got like a little boy who's just super intellectual. He's interested in like curious and stuff. And he wasn't really that into sports or body stuff. Then I get this little girl who's like a complete beast in her body awareness and jumping off things that are twice her height at like one and a half and two. Like crazy stuff. So much body intelligence. No real interest in the books and the other stuff, at least at that stage in life. Loves pink dresses. Always has a doll.
• 50:42
  The third one literally doesn't go anywhere without a doll. She said we have a fourth child that's breastfeeding. And she last month goes, I take my doll, it take milk out of my nipple, and then I wrap her in a blanket like that. The babysitter that was wrapping the newborn in a blanket. This is literally a two-year-old girl stating these things. We just encourage them and fan their flame. So if we have a daughter that wants to go be an S&P 500 CEO, fan the flame.
• 51:07
  If we have a daughter that wants to have five kids and be an amazing mom, fan the flame. So we encourage them in the path they want without programming them with whatever. Like I thought I wanted to program them to have them all be business owners, professionals, blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to program them. Like that actually I think is just as bad as the person who goes the other way of being like, you know, you can't have kids and blah, blah, blah. It's all just programming. And I don't want to program them.
• 51:30
  Okay, let's just talk about that, about the programming. So kids come with something to this body. And so there is a tendency, there is a predisposition, there is a, they call it like nature, right? And then there is nurture, which is you are influencing the kid.
• 51:51
  knowingly or unknowingly. If most likely, if you do nothing, most likely they are going to be prisoners. Somebody else is going to dictate their schedule. Somebody else is going to dictate where they have to live, where they have to commute, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. How do you think about that? It's a great question. I think these young minds are so...
• 52:12
  clay-like and moldable. My job as a parent, right, and part of this EOS journey as a family, our mission right now we're thinking is to help each person find their authentic, childlike brilliance.
• 52:25
  Right. So each of us as an adult, as a dad, remove my layers to find my childlike, authentic childlike brilliance. Each kid find their authentic childlike brilliance. Well, I think helping them think through these decisions, guiding them, coaching them where you say, like the daughter I mentioned that's so athletic, she's now obsessed with books on her own. She now gets books at four years old and just starts, she can kind of read, knows some words, but she's just like opening books, reading them. I didn't do that. I didn't force that.
• 52:52
  Her mom didn't. No one forced that. So it's allowing them to see these different decisions and being curious. So one of the like KPIs we're going to do is, I don't know the exact number, but I'd like to expose my kids to like 100 hobbies or activities before they're 10. Why do that? Well, because that just opens their mind to all these different things.
• 53:12
  Now, does that mean we have to do it? No, I don't want to rush every day. It might be like we sit on YouTube and watch a kid five years old trying X, right? And we get a little bit and then we go try it ourselves. Okay, check. There's one. And do they have a natural aptitude, interest, and excitement for it? Sure. Because one of our goals is by 10, they have some hobby that they're excited about. You know, they feel they can go deeper on. And I look at a parent's role is to be this...
• 53:35
  menu and make sure the menu is broad enough that it's not just what I like. It's not just what my community likes. It's not just what girls or boys commonly do. It's like, let them see the whole menu. And if you can't afford to do it, great. Let's watch it. Let's go on this free thing called the internet and see some videos together. Not even saying like put hours into it, but like, okay, let's spend 10 minutes. Let's watch what it is and let's talk about it. Let's look up some photos of it. Let's find a website about it. Let's find a free class to try it. That to me is how you
• 54:08
  I think the number one mistake that parents make, and yes, I don't have kids yet, okay? So just from the keyboard. The number one mistake that parents make is that they delegate the education of their kids to somebody else. In this case, it's school system. The school system, the teacher, the teacher, the dad. That is...
• 54:28
  So when I say they delegate, I don't mean they don't do anything with their kids. What I mean is who is the number one educator of your kid? If it's not you, you delegate it. So for most people, it's the school system. Now, I understand some people from the other side are screaming and tearing their hair apart. It's like, how do I do that? Okay, well...
• 54:47
  Maybe let's just agree or let's see if you agree or not agree in what I am saying. It's like, who is educating your kid? You or the school as a first place? Who is the main? This is the right question. Who is the main educator of your kids? You or the school system? If it's the school system, okay, cool. We can start having a conversation. Then maybe the next question is, who is the best educator for your kid? Is it you or...
• 55:11
  Or it's the school system. Forget about all the excuses that you are working, that you don't have time. Let's just remove all the noise for one second. Because if you try to think about the goal that I want to achieve and start thinking like, oh, but these are all the problems and all the excuses, you will never get there anywhere. And again, some people may say that's why you are in prison.
• 55:32
  I would never say that, but that might be one of the reasons. So to me, that is the biggest, biggest mistake. And again, there is nothing wrong with having a job. Of course, that's great. I think that what is terrible is to live in a prison. There is nothing wrong with you choosing. You know what? I really want to work in this VC firm and work 10 hours a day. I love it, dude. Yeah, but you're not the owner. It doesn't matter. But you're not making millions. Yeah, it doesn't matter.
• 55:59
  I am choosing this. Great. But then please don't put the excuse that you have to work when I am inviting you. You don't have to work. You are deciding to work. You choose to work. There's a lot to unpack there. And I do think they're tied together. That's a neat thing.
• 56:15
  Right. And a lot of me trying to think through what you just said and correct me if I'm wrong, people get obsessed with the how, not the what they're focused. I wouldn't say obsessed. They get stuck. They don't even allow themselves to think about what they want to achieve because they start vomiting all the excuses, all the reasons why, blah, blah, blah. OK, just I get it. Just leave it aside for a second.
• 56:38
  Are there any schools you've heard of or seen that you would use as a tool as part of the education today? I haven't dig enough just to give an answer. I heard that there are some schools, some people speak wonderfully about Waldorf schools or the...
• 56:55
  Another one that is very, again, I don't have kids yet, so I am still maybe three or four years away to have to make that decision. But to me, in my case, this is my own decision. I want to be the number one educator of my kids, period. Let's get deep. Am I the number one educator of my kids? You spent 10, 11 days observing? Yes, you are. That's because you are a greedy capitalist rich person. Yeah.
• 57:25
  Wouldn't I be chasing more fiat currency if I was a greedy capitalist?
• 57:29
  No. Ooh. No. You would be chasing more fiat currency. I'm trying to say something more elaborate, but it's like if you are dumb, you would be chasing more fiat currency. If you haven't thought about it, you would be chasing more fiat currency. If you are regurgitating and eating whatever the media is telling you, you would be chasing more fiat currency and you would be happy to put in the bank
• 57:56
  all your money and trust the bank and so on and so on, which, and again, it depends where you were born and the person, the experiences that you have, but everything ends up almost in the same way. It's so fascinating to tie back kind of this, I thought of what we've talked about today. It's the focus on your kids and this reframing of softwares you're putting into yourself and them.
• 58:16
  And coming back to the gentleman you met with two kids, he's trading a fake wealth, right? Fiat currency, whatever, beliefs and that being the true wealth. He's trading that wealth, right? He believes to get more of what he thinks, you know, what even he himself says is the true wealth. He's reducing the true wealth. More time with kids and more kids, which he says is the greatest thing. That's the true wealth, right? Isn't it fascinating? Yeah.
• 58:41
  And a great example here, so if I have said to him, okay, just, I am hearing all the excuses. I'm like, okay, just forget about for one second. Picture that you are 80 years old. You want to have two kids or three kids hanging out with you. Simple answer. Simple question, simple answer. Do you prefer two or three kids?
• 58:59
  I would guess that most people that are really honest with themselves and they extract themselves from whatever pain or whatever lack of sleep or whatever, most people would say three for sure. Yeah. That's part of the reason we broke through.
• 59:15
  People that don't allow themselves to be like, oh my gosh, no, it's just going to be so painful. How, how, how, oh my gosh, it's so painful. I'm not going to do that. No, of course, too. It's like, no, dude, listen, imagine that you don't need to do anything, okay? Imagine that you just do like this. What do you want? Would you really choose to, seriously? And let's say that says too, it's like, okay, how do you square what you just told me about the real wealth is to spend time with your kids?
• 59:40
  I mean, think about that statement, right? The real wealth is time and number of kids. The fake fiat currency, right? Ideally, you're getting more of this, less of this. You're trading the fake fiat currency for more real wealth. Instead, he's trying to increase his fake fiat currency and he's reducing the real wealth of time with kids and number of kids. And you just had a software upgrade for me. How hurts. How to do things, it hurts our head to think about.
• 1:00:05
  what we want wins. What wins, how hurts, right? It's just like anytime we get stuck thinking, how, how, how, it hurts. It hurts our head. It's just 404. It's brain damage. When we just think, what do I want? Well, I win, right? Because I take away all the hows. Let's put those to the side. And away a really good system you have to get, Jeff Bezos, I know, has the same thing, right? He flips it, inverts it and says, go to your 80 and look back. That's why he chose to start Amazon and leave his,
• 1:00:34
  Hedge fund job. Go to 80 and look backwards. Because that gets us to what? And it's a system to flip it from where we are today to flip to the end, right? Versus getting stuck in how, how, how. Whenever I hear people with how, it's just banging your head against the wall. It's like a cement wall. Just, again, it hurts. And it hurts me. It hurts you. It hurts everyone. It's a standard way of operating that most people live their entire life stuck in the how rather than the what, which is how they can win.
• 1:01:02
  Yes. So you, someone starts talking about their excuses, the how, blah, blah, blah. And it's like, WWHH. What? Exactly. What wins? How hurts? Your software, you always laugh at the acronyms or like smile at them, right? It's the only way I can take a theory and make it practical, right?
• 1:01:26
  It's the only way. All the other ways are like, oh cool, I've got this bookshelf. I read the books. It doesn't matter. If I have to simplify the thought and use it as like a tool that now goes in my tool belt, right, like a perfect one is if I hear Peter or Pablo say always 100% of the time, red flag, right? The tool comes up and I go, hey, you know, Peter,
• 1:01:46
  I heard this phrase, amateurs think in absolutes, professionals and probabilities. Can we be a little more specific or is it really all the time? And you see people just, they're like, they're naked now. It's like, it's like they have a robe and I just forced them to open it. It's like they're bare. And I think those phrases that razors that cut through, slice through all the distraction BS noise have changed my life.
• 1:02:08
  And this is what flipping is, right? You sent this beautiful video on the YouTube, which were like bangers. Do you remember the video that just had like 10 different famous people with bangers? I think everyone or almost everyone, I am correcting my own, nine out of 10 were just extreme flips. Like people were flipping concepts that we heard. And they were like, oh my gosh, it's so right.
• 1:02:31
  Do you see it in your own life? Because I know I try and point them out to you, but do you feel those flips that you do yourself naturally? No. The first time that I heard about flipping was from you pointing out at how I flip things. And I still, when Aaron mentions or what you mentioned, I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, maybe. I don't know how to.
• 1:02:52
  I trust you. I just don't really see it. Whatever. Whatever. I'm going to keep doing what I'm doing. It's working. Think about how cool is it that everything from how did you start entrepreneurship, flipping jerseys. You're flipping an okay jersey for a better jersey, for a better jersey, for some more cash, you know, for you're flipping from less cash to more cash for the same jersey. You're flipping. And then how have you improved your own life? It's flipping concepts, right? Like let's just education. You flipped it and you said, I want to be the primary educator. Right?
• 1:03:20
  I want to be the lead educator. Now, sure, I'll do some programs and systems, but I am in charge of their education. Or what do most do? Delegate. Hey, you take educate. You go use your systems on my kid. You flipped it. You literally completely flipped the standard paradigm today of education to say it's my most important job, right, as a parent.
• 1:03:41
  And then you asked me the question about you, right? Yeah, it is uncomfortable to do, but I've noticed the best feedback, and you do this as well, Pablo, is when I have someone I meet or someone spends time with me, babysitters, nannies, employees, clients, whatever. And this I'm stealing. You know, I don't think I'm a genius. Very little of this is original thought. Bill Walton, the founder of Walmart, asked two questions to every employee. Do you know what these are? Sam, right? Sam Walton. Sorry, Sam Walton, you're right.
• 1:04:09
  Bill Walton's the basketball player. Sam Walton, the founder of Walmart. Keyboard Warriors. He's an idiot. So I read his autobiography. Do you know the two questions he asked everyone? Have you heard of this? No, I have no idea. Fascinating. Old school guy, traveled on his truck or even private jet with his two dogs, his hunting dogs. Yeah.
• 1:04:28
  Complete hillbilly. It was just like focused on stores. He'd ask two questions, say, Pablo, thank you so much for being a clerk at, you know, Walmart. What's the dumbest thing we're doing today? And if you were CEO, if you had my job tomorrow, what's the first thing you'd change? Now, they sound like they're same questions, but they're slightly different. But they both attack at the similar area, which is like...
• 1:04:48
  I don't want you to tell me you're the best job boss ever and blah, blah, blah. No, thank you. Let's put that on the shelf. The award can go on the shelf. Cool. Let's dig into what we can change and improve upon. And so I use this. I don't have a business right now. So I invest in them. I advise them, but I don't have one I'm running. So I try and use myself, my family, my life as that. So you stayed for 10 or 11 days. My favorite question goes, Pablo, what's the dumbest thing we do in our house? And what's the first thing you would change if you were me tomorrow?
• 1:05:16
  And I'd ask you as a parent, you know, what is that you see or you would do? As a parent, I think that the dumbest thing that you do... Okay, that's a flip. The dumbest thing that you do is that you do not have an in-person executive assistant. And you see that apply to the kids as well? Oh, yeah. Because it manages... She becomes the chief of staff in person.
• 1:05:42
  That's good. It's good feedback. Okay, but let me, I want to dive into that. WWHH, let's go. Is there anything specific related to kids or you feel that ties into the kids because, you know, it's just freeing up time to be more with the kids? I wouldn't call it that it's anything specifically with the kids right now. I can answer you this question after we spend the week together.
• 1:06:03
  We'll come back to it. I want to be and pay more attention because, in fact, you know that you said that you asked this question to people that I stay with you. I think that that should be in a welcome card that you put besides the bed. Oh, that's a great idea. Because you are planting the seed. It's like, okay, just look for it, okay? Just look and tell me rather than at the end. But what I would say is if you are in great shape, everyone is in great shape. So Peter Thiel has this cool thing. He has the Thiel Fellowship. Have you heard of that?
• 1:06:33
  No. He gives kids $100,000 to not go to college and start working on a business. Really competitive. They've had like a ton of people just go kill it. I was kind of thinking of creating this flip fellowship. Flip fellowship. I love it. Yeah. And it would be, how do you flip from being a quote kid to being a dominant human? And I could have a flip fellow that's full time with me for like a two year period. Maybe it's even one year. So there's a couple of things.
• 1:07:00
  And maybe your answer is going to be do both. One, I could do a flip fellow and say like, you're going to run my life. So you see it. And we work on software systems. The best way for us to work through this. And then you're going to go buy or start a business. That's one. That's one. Let's call that flip fellows. And there could be 10 of them. But, you know, I don't want 10 people in my life. Right. So.
• 1:07:18
  It might have to be a different structure. Only one of them would be that. Or one year, then you oversee the other person for a second year. Something like that. Second would be just a traditional assistant that we're going to have for 10 years. That's just like running our life. Do you think one is better than the other? Or would you just say do both? What do you think? I have my answer. You're going to say do both. And they're separate.
• 1:07:39
  So, okay, let's just run doing both. What is the benefit of doing both? What I've noticed that both is the best way to explain it is you have rockets and you have rock. Why do you need a rocket? Great question. A rocket is someone like Pablo or Peter. They're going to come through. They're going to shake systems up. They're going to find new ways of doing it. And they're going to absolutely just like their personality types, the way they think is new, new, change, change, change. Rock stars are the ones that are like, they stay a step ahead, but they're using the same framework.
• 1:08:08
  I disagree. If I go to the dream, okay, dream scenario, let's just go to the what. Is it better to have one person or two people? If the qualities and everything is the same, do you prefer to have one or two? We're probably different. You're going to say one, I'm going to say two.
• 1:08:23
  No, but let me maybe, okay, great. Let me just explain a little bit more. If you can have, you are right now, you are talking about two people, right? This person or this person, and this person have different qualities. Okay, that's one scenario. Or one person that has those two qualities. I mean this sincerely. It's actually a really good topic.
• 1:08:41
  One, I've gone so deep on the psychology and personality types. So the question, I think, is not a good question because— You think that it's impossible? Because it's impossible. Because you don't get—humans don't—we all have traits. There's no solution. There's trade-offs. I'm high creativity. I'm low consistency. Yes. The first is the traits. The second is humans are monkeys that get sick, that die, that quit, that move on.
• 1:09:06
  And my biggest rule that I tell parents with their nannies and their help is have a bench. Your parents, your friends, the neighborhood girl, you know, if you can afford a full-time person that's helping around the house, you need a bench because people will get sick, people will go on vacation, all of these things. And that's what takes away your ability to go on the date, to go on the trip with Pablo, to do all these things.
• 1:09:28
  But that is because it's incorrectly set up. So let me explain. If you are hiring killer executive assistant, it's her job to fill in all the gaps. She goes on vacation. She already took care of everything. She's sick. She already has the bench because she created the bench. You don't have to do it. She did it. That's her job is to create everything and be a thousand steps ahead of anything that is happening.
• 1:09:53
  So I understand what you mean about an entrepreneurial mindset or creativity. And then we are a chaos in terms of organization. And then you have the other person that is like you have the visionary and the integrator. I get that. Very difficult to be the same. Like I would say Elon Musk seems to be the same because he's the visionary and somehow he just executes like crazy.
• 1:10:16
  He always has someone being that executor, the EOS person. In every company, you can actually find them. Maybe we cannot talk much because we don't have an insight in his life. So Elon, whenever you want, we can just follow you and then we can report back to the audience. But the question that I have for you is, why do you need the rocket ship?
• 1:10:33
  Here's actually a really good point that you're helping me clarify. I think it's almost dividing. In my life, I just think whole. The rocket ship to me is all this business stuff, fun stuff that pops up that's above the level of an executive assistant. It's like, maybe we start this new business or maybe we buy this business. Doing those things excites me.
• 1:10:53
  Having the room to go execute on opportunities when I see an idea or whatever, I don't want to do all of that legwork myself. And I think as I think about this flip fellowship, that's kind of a flip fellow is like they're excited to go do the raw due diligence, digging in, talking with the bank on financing.
• 1:11:13
  the stuff that I've done enough and it doesn't excite me. I just want to do the strategy. That's not something a personal assistant. I think that's outside of even the best personal assistants, right? Because they don't want to go start a business. Executive assistant. Well, actually personal. Do you know why you have to say personal? Because I got fired for this.
• 1:11:32
  The reason that I was used when we sold my business to a large automotive company was I had my assistant in the Philippines for, you know, at that time, I don't know, we were like seven, eight years in and her title was not, was executive assistant. And she spent half of her time on my personal life managing blah, blah, blah, half of her time on the business, right? Very standard. There's, there's no case law on this that exists. They fired me and said the accusation was fraud, right?
• 1:11:59
  which is the highest barrier. It means you have to know that you're doing something illegal and doing it. Yeah. But that was the only reason I didn't get paid my money immediately. Right. So that was the only reason they use it. I don't hold anything against them. They're great people. I probably would have done the same stuff. No, you wouldn't. But okay, continue. Today, I would not. The old me. For the audience, he's charging them. In private, he told me that these guys are... So now he's trying to become... Pretend that he's Mahama Gandhi and Dalai Lama. I would never call them slaves that were just part of the slave machine.
• 1:12:28
  Some people may say that they are slaves. Some people may say that. That would never come out of my mouth. We would never do that. But I'm being very literal on this and serious that hopefully this saves someone some big headache. Titling them personal assistant is great because that can expand personal or professional. And I actually think that's an important thing to say.
• 1:12:46
  even if you do own the business, you're never going to sell it, blah, blah, blah. It helps that person realize the scope is you're ahead of them and them as a person in every aspect of life versus executive gets the belief in the person as well as in this case, the reason I got fired, that you would purely be in a administrative function for the company. That's why I feel strong.
• 1:13:07
  Interesting. I would say that I would offer a different perspective, which is if you go and hire a personal assistant, most of the time, these people will not deal with anything business related, anything. And you as an entrepreneur, you have a business mind. You want to do certain things, even if you are not running a business. So that's
• 1:13:29
  One part. Executive assistants. And of course, you have executive assistants. It's like, you know what? I would never do groceries for you. I just do only business. But when you're talking about, when you say personal assistant, most of the time, they don't do any business. When you're talking about executive assistant, most of the time, they do both. So I'm just sharing with you. And again, you don't have a boss that will fire you.
• 1:13:51
  So you will have to see when you go in the market to hire a person like that. But I believe, and again, maybe the name is chief of staff or whatever, but I want to have one person that I can say, hey, I'm thinking of buying this business. Hey, I'm thinking of buying this business.
• 1:14:08
  help me hire XYZ person. Rather than you having to hire a personal slash executive assistant and this, I don't know how you call it, this entrepreneurial mind person that is the rocket, now you're dealing with two people. Why don't you deal with one person? Then of course you deal with, maybe you didn't hire your nanny, but you deal with her. But I think that it's much better to concentrate everything. You have...
• 1:14:36
  your integrator. You need an integrator in your life. That's it. There you go. You do not have an integrator in your life. Nobody's integrating your life. That's what you need. You need an integrator in your life. I don't think that you need to hire a COO because you have a lot of personal things. So that's why I am leaning towards an executive assistant with a lot of focus on personal. You're right. I know that, you know, him buying a Tesla, you weren't happy about his speed. And I think he knew I don't make six-figure, but
• 1:15:06
  We just bought this restaurant. It was amazing, right? I met him when he was 16. He's cutting my lawn. Just bought a restaurant doing two and a half million dollars in revenue that's 40 years old. And he's the CEO running the business. I'm so excited. He was my integrator. And you're totally right. That was such a great solution because everyone went to him. Everyone went to him with problems or needs. And he would funnel up once, twice a week with he kind of knew how to handle everything. And I think my deeper question is
• 1:15:35
  he did want to build a business. And I think that's one of the reasons he was so good, I felt like at this level. And now look, I'm challenging myself with the beautiful Pablo phrase, right? What wins, how hurts. I need to open my mind to say, there's a Matthew that I could have for 10 years that has that level of skill that doesn't really want to create a business, but is that creative, open-minded, and creative and consistent. It's like, is the right mix that we could just keep? Yeah.
• 1:16:02
  Right. And there's also a line – I need someone aligned on food and a bunch of other stuff of just like –
• 1:16:07
  kind of gets it because you can't, it's very hard to get people on the food train, as you said, with emotions and fix. Whereas I keep meeting more and more, especially younger people. I'm really fascinated with these younger twenties that just get it. They're like, food is really important. So hiring someone that checks all those boxes is, you're right, is the integrator I want. And I want them for 10 years, not for two. It's a limiting belief to think I can only get someone for a year or two in that role versus saying, I'll just find someone that we can have for 10.
• 1:16:32
  And I know that in your case, you really like having people around and mentor people. And I think that that is the reason, that could be the reason why you came up with like, oh, let's just, I'm just going to hire interns. So that way you get some help and then at the same time you get the fulfillment. And what I would say is the challenge that I see or the missed opportunities that the help sometimes comes half-ass done. Not because they are assholes, it's just because they don't have the expertise.
• 1:17:02
  same way that a 40-year-old chief of staff has, or a 35-year-old or a 30-year-old chief of staff has. So that is the challenge. And do you want to keep doing internships? Just do a Monday mentorship group. I don't know, whatever. And to any to any
• 1:17:20
  People come to your house and you give a talk. And that way you get your creative energy or your strategy going. But I don't think that is sufficient whatsoever to have the way that you had your interns just walking around. It's like, yeah, he's doing this. And what is this? So let me give you an example. Let's just talk about our friend Aaron. A proper chief of staff would have never had the encounter that they had with Aaron. Who are you?
• 1:17:48
  Or, yeah, what's your name? Aaron. Yeah, no, Peter is busy. The chief of staff will already have rolled their red carpet and have everything prepared, everything lined up, perfectly done. I'm not trying to make sound like your life is a mess. Not at all. Your life is pretty good. But I think that that is the next step where you are hiring someone. Because, you know, your nanny eventually may decide to start a family. And then, well, someone needs to go and hire another nanny.
• 1:18:18
  okay, who's going to interview the person? And maybe you already have it set up, but wouldn't it be funny that she's the one that interviews and you just do the final one? You're spot on. I think what I realized, flipping back to the home life, is we loved the experience of au pairs, you know, new culture, but there was a friction because they're literally coming from another country, getting used to this new thing. And we had them for two years. And two years is that fast.
• 1:18:45
  And you have a very unique method of education and parenting, which is unheard of. Except actually Scandinavia, right? Because to this point of what wins, not how hurts. With her, I just said, hey, we're really unique. You know, da-da-da, we only ask questions. Well, imagine that you don't need to say any of that.
• 1:19:08
  Guess what? That's what she said. She goes, oh, yeah, you don't need to tell me this. You just raise it like Switzerland. No, no, no. What I mean is imagine that is somebody else having that conversation with her. That is the part. Because your current assistant cannot do that. You're right. And so for a year, a year did this role and it made my life so much better. I mean, it really did. Right. And I think that's the piece.
• 1:19:34
  That is the next iteration. There you go. But I would also say if you have this, how do you call it? Like creativity and then you have organization, let's say. So you and I, we are more in creativity. Organization is way lower, right? Was...
• 1:19:52
  More like this, let's say, equal. But creativity is higher, right? I think that what you want is like this. Because the person with more creativity will win. Will live eventually. And Pablo, I seriously thank you because what you're doing to me is what I do to everyone. The hospital. Welcome to the hospital.
• 1:20:11
  No one's inviting me into the hospital and breaking my brain in half. And you're right on all of it. And I think coming back to, I agree with every point you said. I also look at when it's this key person is, like you said, is like a little more consistent, a little less creative. Well, the flip fellows, they can direct. And those can be these creative people who want to buy a business. They can jump on the opportunities. They can, hey, Bill, who wants this one? Okay, Bill raises his hand first. He's the most excited. Great.
• 1:20:41
  And there's a whole system to go explore and consider buying, building, doing a business. And the integrator is the one that puts all the systems in place. When you say to the integrator, listen, this is what I am thinking. I want to do this flip fellowship. This is how it looks like. And this is the goal. She's going to be like, got it. Let me ask you seven more questions because you missed telling me X, Y, Z. Boom, boom, boom. You need a much more...
• 1:21:08
  process-oriented person than creative person. Because I can tell them that I can create the process in my mind, they can execute just like EOS.
• 1:21:18
  Well, the idea is not, it's interesting that you talk about creating the process in your mind. I have not seen you doing this. And maybe that's also another opportunity for growth, which is we should not, people like you and me, we should not be spending any time on the how, any time on creating the process. We should only spend time on telling you exactly what do I want to achieve and ideally why this is important to me.
• 1:21:45
  The best way I've found to get there to help me with that system is, hey, here's the mountaintop we're trying to go. You need to come up with three ways. If you haven't come up with three ways, you didn't do enough because a lot of these consistent people just come up with one and go. So when you say, walk me through this. So you say that and then the person goes, comes up with three ways and does what?
• 1:22:10
  So either they just do it, and if it's a two-way door, just go do it. It's a two-way door. You walk through, it doesn't work. You come back through it. You try a different way. Who cares? If it's a one-way door, which like for us, let's say an expense over, I don't know, like $5,000, $10,000, kind of a one-way door. It's breaking something in the house, and you can't rebuild it, or it's very difficult to rebuild. They come with the three, at least three, could be five, and they say, this is the one I think is best and why. Because the most common thing I see as a boss, as a leader, as anything, is they're
• 1:22:38
  were dictating either the one way to do it, bad path, we rob them of the chance to think creatively, or we don't have the system where they know, I don't care what it is, one problem or one goal, at least three options, pick the best one, 1-3-1. If they're not operating with a 1-3-1,
• 1:22:56
  then it just adds this friction of their comeback with one idea. I explain, well, ask questions, right? But usually the first one's not the right answer. The second one's a whole different way. And a lot of times the third one's kind of a blend of those two, and that's the best way. Like right now, you said, Peter, you need an executive assistant.
• 1:23:14
  And I'm like, you know, that's one way. I'm like, well, I could have these flip fellows and every two year use one of them, right? That's a second way. A third way is, yes, I have an executive assistant. And yes, they direct the flip fellows. That's a third way. And that's like, it's so clear to me. It's like, okay, yes, EOS integrator.
• 1:23:33
  Flip goes, does the creative. Now you've got consistent and creative and you get both. EOS integrated is the best term for it because it's so much broader than executive assistant or personal assistant or chief of staff. It's like, look, I'm going to come up with what I want in life. You're going to figure out the how. We're going to have systems where we agree upon systems to use to get there. One, three, one. Don't bug me if it's less than like a grand or five grand or 10 grand or some, a dollar amount. Don't bug me unless it's a one way door.
• 1:24:00
  Well, I would just suggest one thing. Ask her. Don't tell her. It's like, never tell her. That is the real big upgrade. And I am not perfect at all. I still make mistakes. But that is the biggest upgrade is, you tell me. Yeah. And think about, this is how I ran the business, right? I'm saying it to you, but...
• 1:24:22
  The reason I only ask my kids questions is, yes, Socratic method. But before I even knew what Socratic method was, that's how I ran my business. Because I was able to then figure out how they think and whether or not they're thinking at levels here, here, here, here. I don't know what's going on inside someone's head without asking a question. Love you, brother. Great call. See you, brother.