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DA CREW PODCAST SEASON 1_ EPISODE #145_ HOST BLAQUE DIAMOND · DA CREW Podcast

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your host. Black Damn. Hey, everybody, this is Black Diamond from
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the Crew Network and you're listening to Basic Black After Dark podcasts to show that
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meets you where you are and gives you what you ask for, Except no
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one has ever asked for this. Breast cancer Breast cancer is cancer that develops
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from breast tissue. Signs of breast cancer may include a lump in the breast,
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a change in breast shape, dimpling of the skin, milk rejection fluid
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coming from the nipple, a newly inverted nipple, or red or scaling patch
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of skin. In the United States, roughly one in eight women will be
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diagnosed with breast cancer. This is going to be here in their lifetime one
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in eight women. It is the second most common cancer affecting women in the
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United States after skin cancer. My guest tonight, unfortunately, is one of
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these eight women. Please welcome my guest breast cancer survivor Barbara Melvin. Hello,
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how are you good to be here? Good to be here? Yeah,
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thank you so much for coming in and sharing your journey with us.
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I really appreciate it. Well, you're welcome. I'm just honored to be
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here. I really am. We will not cry, we won't wait till
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later on, but just let's stay focused. But I'm glad to be here,
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really am. Okay, all right? You know more than eighty percent
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of breast cancer cases are discovered when a person detects such a lump with their
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fingertips. Earliest breast cancers, however, are detected by a mammograph. How
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did you discover you have breast cancer? One thing I wanted to add to
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the symptoms though, is itching itching in your breast is also could also be
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aside if that itching had never been happening before, and then all of a
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sudden, every now and then there's intermittent like a itchy feeling, that could
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also be a sign of breast cancer. I discovered my breast cancer was discovered
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after I had my left kidney removed. I am the type of person,
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or was the type of person that did not like going to doctors and had
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not had a mammogram, even though I was approaching fifty. I had my
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left kidney removed, went to take the MRI just to make sure that everything
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was okay and the kidney, you know, that everything was doing all right.
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And while I was under the going through the tube or whatever, the
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technician just had happened to be He just happened to be looking at the screen
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and he saw he saw something concerning in my breast. And that's how I
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found out. And I went to my room and they told me that they
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saw something. I was in denial. And then the next day I had
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a mammogram and within three hours they were calling me back to the hospital because
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they discovered I had breast cancer in my right breast. Oh wow, I'm
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so sorry that you have breast cancer. And to find out that way.
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You were going in for one procedure and you walked out finding out something else.
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Reastright, Does it run in your family? It does. My two
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of my mom's sisters had it, One did not survive, the other one
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is still alive. Three of her brothers have cancer, not breast cancer.
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One of them had breast cancer actually, and three of them had cancer,
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and all three of them passed, but my mom died. My mom fought
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breast cancer for years. She beat breast cancer three times just doing chemo or
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and that's it. She never had her breast removed. But she died in
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January of twenty twenty one, three months before I found out I had breast
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cancer. It had me castasized and moved to her lungs and into her brain.
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So my mom died January ninth of twenty twenty one, and I found
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out in April, on the twenty eighth that I had the same cancers she
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had, which was triple negative, her number two triple negative. There are
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different stages of breast cancer, and you shared the type that you have that
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you're living with. At what stage of risk cancer you have? Is it
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like stage one? Stage two? I wouldn't let him tell me, okay,
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I didn't think. I didn't think that I know me and I know
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how things ping a round up there. I wouldn't let him tell me.
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I told him. The only reason I know the name of it is because
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I had to. I had to keep writing it down for insurance. But
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I don't want to. I didn't want to know anything I'm not an expert
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on it. I don't know what the ology is. I didn't care.
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Tell me what it is, you're the doctor. Tell me how to get
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rid of it, and let me move on talking about cancer and the the
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the technical things of it. That's not who I am. I don't don't,
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I didn't care. So are you comfortable with going further tonight and talking
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about I'm about I'm talking about you know how people can name the ologies,
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the this is the melanoma, all that stuff. I just know the name
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of it basically. But no, no, no, what you're the things
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that we're going to talk about. I'm very comfortable. Yes, okay,
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all right, Well I'm happy that you're comfortable with it. Did they say
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that you had to have chemotherapy? Yes? The options were radiation, chemotherapy,
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and have my right breast removed. Those were the options that he gave
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me. But while he was saying that, I was just saying, take
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both of them off. I just kept saying it. He thought that I
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hadn't thought about it, but I had seen my mama go through this,
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and I had seen other people just take them off. I mean, you
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can put My thing was take them off. Because you can give me two
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more. I mean that was me. But that's just me. Other people
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have different Just take them off and just give me to give me, give
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me two more and in the size I want and let me baywatch it.
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I mean, that was it right? You know, it is your decision
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as far as what you going to do. They say one way to prevent
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and reduce the risk of breast cancer is by maintaining a healthy weight. It's
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also said by reducing alcohol, you increase in physical activity and breastfeeding. But
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many women are at a healthy weight, don't. They don't drink alcohol,
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are physically active, and don't have children to breastfeed, that they still have
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a diagnosis of breast cancer. Right, these modifications will prevent breast cancer.
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No, I think that the only thing that and now I'm not trying to
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be flippant, only thing that prevents breast cancers prey and where whatever truck,
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whatever, whatever path that God wants you to go on, is the path
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you're gonna go on. I don't drink. I might have had a wine
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cooler two or three times a year. I don't smoke. I don't do
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drugs. Yes, I'm a big girl, but I don't have high blood
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pressure, I don't have sugar, I don't have high cholesterol. I don't
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have any of those. I have three chins and a foupa. You can't.
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If you're gonna get it, it's gonna Mine is areditary. I think
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because mama I lost my gallbladder the same at the same age that my mama
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lost hers, And some things are just that's the path gotta take. And
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I'm not trying to I'm not saying that just because your parents are your are
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good. I'm not saying that. I'm saying, you know what fixed off
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prayer. And because the things that we eat are even though it may not
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say it on the packaging, most things that we eat that are processed are
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are our carcinogenic. They have their their cancer causing sugar and all the other
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stuff. Now, I did reduce how much sugar I take. But then
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on the other hand, if I feel like getting a banana split with everything
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on it, I'm gonna do that. Because you only you get one trip,
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you're feeling this is life. You get one trip and you don't get
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to do you don't get to go through no more. And I and that's
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it. I was speaking to Barbara before we came onto it, and she
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is one of the funniest people I have ever spoken to. So there's probably
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gonna be some stuff that come out that's gonna have me laughing, and I
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don't usually do that on the air, but she's one of the funniest and
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genuine is people that I've met in a long time. So you're gonna hear
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some stuff, and we might try to charge you, guys with just listening
11:07
tonight, but just out there are a selective group of medications that reduce the
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risk of breast cancer but increase the risk of other cancers. Are you on
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medications, and if it's something that you agree upon, you know, any
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medications, or is it something your doctor feels that you should try. They're
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always, uh, they're always trying to get you to try something because they're
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always doing studies and you have to do it on somebody. The only medications
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that I'm on are the one that reduced the pain that my body is going
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through because I just finished two years of chemo. I just finished in March,
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and so my body is still doing weird crap. But I don't take
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like hormones. I don't I'm not. I don't take none of that stuff.
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I take for the hot they call it hot head because of the chemo.
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It's basically just hot flashes. I take something for that, and I
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take something for the neuropathy. I think it's called when your nerves are on
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fire. I take something for that. I don't take too much more of
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that because it's making my eg it's just thinning my edges and I want my
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edges back, and then I take that's it. That's the only thing I
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take that that has to do with cancer. And I do CBD oil.
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I have to do a regiment of CB door because it's natural. So those
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are the only side effects that you have. And that's not what you call
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medications that other people that, well, everybody takes something different, some types
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of different medications. What about hormonal treatments. Have your doctor suggested it or
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was it necessary? It wasn't necessary for me because I had a hysterectomy at
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twenty eight. I had to. I had. It's not I thought I
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didn't have thyroge or anything. I had. When you say indometriosis, it's
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so many forms of that, just like cancer that I had a form of
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it. I mean, I was so young, I didn't ask about It's
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probably in some medical books somewhere, but my minstrel cycle came on when I
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was twelve, and it literally did not cut. It every now and then
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it was stopped when they tried birth control, but that didn't work either,
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So it was almost completely NonStop until I turned twenty eight. By the time
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I told the doctor that my cycle had been on like that and on like
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that and on like that, my blood count level was in the negative.
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Wow, and I had to have a hysterectomy or die. Wow. It's
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just so much that you see them going through surgery. Surgery involves the physical
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removal of the tumor, typically typically along with some of the surrounding tissues.
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One of more lymphnotes maybe biopsy during the surgery. Was surgery ever suggested?
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Or was there you said the missected me the removal of the breast you talked
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about that. Did they do them both at the same time? Did you
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have to come and go so they did them both at the same time?
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But don't wow, what was my well because you wanted it to. I
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guess that was a different feeling than anybody that somebody would tell them, you
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know, you have to have a double misseect of me, so you've done
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your research. And I was the doctor surprised when you came in and you
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told him that this is what you wanted. He was, but by that
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time he knew me, like just like you got to know me. Like
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the way I am right now is how I am all the time. I
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don't have that white girl voice for like Envelopeian people, and I don't have
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a different voice for the bill collectors. I talked to everybody the exact same
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way, and so he knew by then, and every time I went in
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there, I had an uppery negro outfit on. He knew by then that
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when I said what I said, I meant what I said. And he
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tried to you know, they give you a week, they give you time
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to think about it. Now, my chemo started right away, but the
15:13
breast thing, he tried to get me to think about it, and I
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meant what I said. I wasn't gonna be up all night thinking that every
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little pain in my left breast if that was the one that was going to
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be left that and I wasn't gonna do it, because I do it now
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I don't have no breast, you understand. I wasn't gonna do that.
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So just take them, give me some sea cups and I can run down
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the beach like them baby watch aftles, and I'm good. That's it.
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There wasn't no, I didn't ever think about it that long. Let me
15:41
tell you how I met Apartment Melton. I w on Facebook one evening and
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I'm just flipping through, like what's going on on Facebook? And I happened
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to go past her and I heard something and I was like, wait,
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what did she say? And I rolled it back and she was continuing to
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talk. I was like, no, she didn't, So I called my
15:58
daughter, listen to this, and she just kept going and I was sitting
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here dying, and I just had to know more about her. So I
16:06
just kept following her and watching, and I was like, you know,
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it's very interesting. She's interested. And I had contact her initially because of
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the name that you see underneath the Barbara Melvin and it says up for the
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Negro and I wanted to know more about that. And she told me more
16:21
about that, and the more I spoke to her, the more I got
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to know her. And when I said hilarious. It is hilarious. So
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I'm not making light of her having cancer or anybody else having cancer. She's
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just so comfortable with who she is and the way that she talks about it.
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It makes me feel a little bit more comfortable with talking to someone who's
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living with breast cancer. You know, I've had a relative who and but
16:48
I had relatives as well who had breast cancer. My niece had breast cancer
16:55
and she passed away a few years ago, and it was hard on me.
17:00
It was hard to talk to her and to say to her. Whenever
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we would talk about I say, oh, no, you're gonna be here.
17:04
You're gonna be here, and that's the way we look out the staying.
17:07
And she was telling me about she wasn't gonna be here when she turned
17:10
fifty. I said, yeah, you are, said, because we've been
17:11
lying about our age for such a long time that we past fifty, because
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I don't even know how old I am right now. So it's kind of
17:19
difficult to talk with her because that was my niece and we grew out together.
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But to hear you, you know, if I had you back then,
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I feel as though it would have been a little bit more comfortable for
17:33
me to talk to her at that time. So for the way you're coming
17:38
out, I'm hoping those who are listening, those who have breast cancer or
17:42
any type of reform of cancer, and those who are not knowing whether they
17:47
want to go to the doctor, are afraid to go to the doctor,
17:49
that they're hearing you and they're listening to you. You know, Again,
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everybody takes things differently, but to watch you and hear you take it,
18:00
you would you would never know. You would never know at all. And
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I'm not saying that there's a face to breast cancer. There's a to breast
18:07
cancer, king to breast cancer. Believe me, I'm not saying that at
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all. I'm just saying that hearing you and speaking with you, it should
18:17
be in reversed. But you're making me feel comfortable when I should be making
18:21
you feel comfortable. And again, these little smirks and grains and laughs,
18:25
it's because of the things that she's saying, and it may be a sidebar
18:30
kind of thing, but as you watch this show tonight, hopefully you'll pick
18:33
up on some of it. Because again, like I said, she's gonna
18:36
take this on the road. If I have to choke her. She's gonna
18:38
take this on the road because she's just hilariously funny. And that's just the
18:42
way that I feel about her. And I know at the end of this
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you're gonna feel the same way. It's just the wealth of warmth with with
18:51
Barbara, and that's just the way that that I feel. And I can
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go on and on, but I'm gonna try to stick to the subject that
18:56
we have. My question for you is that is radiation necessary after surgery and
19:02
what does it do? I think for some people it is. But I
19:08
told him I wouldn't do radiation. I don't. I told him I don't
19:11
care what where where he said it was gonna go, and I would not
19:15
do radiation. The the chemo was hard enough. There's something about being intelligent
19:26
that makes when somebody's gonna do something to you, it does something to your
19:33
inside. And my first day of nothing well, I won't go into that,
19:37
but my first day of chemo I was alone because it was COVID and
19:41
I had to go by myself. They wouldn't let nobody come in. I
19:45
was homeless at the time, and I had to go in there, and
19:51
but I was determined where every time I went to there, I had on
19:53
heels and I was dressed like I was about to go meet Michelle Obama.
19:59
Because I was. I was determined I wasn't gonna look like I had it.
20:02
And so I went in there on the first day she and she they
20:04
tell you what it is. The first thing they give you is called the
20:07
Red Devil. It's this red stuff and the machine can't put it in.
20:11
A nurse has to sit beside you and slowly inject you with it. And
20:17
so she got ready and got it ready, and she got ready to push
20:18
and I grabbed her so hard by her arm and I just held her and
20:23
I said, I can't let go. She said, you'll let go in
20:26
a minute. She said, well you let go, I'll start. And
20:27
what kept going through my mind, is you about to let these people poison
20:32
you. You smarter than this. God got a herb or something out there,
20:34
leave, get up and walk out. And that's what I really wanted
20:37
to run. But radiation I would not do. And I told God,
20:45
fix it this way, because I'm not doing it. I'll just come home
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the glory. I'm not doing this. And I didn't have to do radiation.
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But the chemo did the removing of the breast, and the chemo did
20:55
what it was supposed to do. I was seven months cancer free right now.
21:00
Yay. Patricia says to you that you're you're a real person, You're
21:06
real, You're keeping it real is a blessing. Yeah, it has to
21:11
be a blessing. Did you hear her say she told God, so what
21:15
I want to do is I'm gonna move over a little bit. So he
21:17
know that that's you that said that. And it was She's sitting me and
21:21
saying that she told God, Yeah, you know that's that's that's that was
21:27
Barbara Melvin that said, listen, we we we the Bible, and we
21:37
and we act like we know that them are real people. But I'm telling
21:40
you, if you go further back, before I found out that Jesus was
21:45
real, now, I used to pretend. Now because I can sing angels
21:48
into a room, I can say I'm a singer. I did praise and
21:49
worship, but I played at it because I can live off the anointing of
21:53
my mama and my God brother. I lived off for that for years.
21:56
Then God took both of them. But before that, I was so scared
22:02
that God was gonna We listened to these preachers. They talk about you're gonna
22:06
die, You're gonna do it. And I took it in literally. And
22:10
then I realized, when God says I'm your father, then he knows me.
22:15
He knows my sense of humor, He know what I'm saying. He
22:18
knows that when I pray, it's not always with them, those doubts,
22:21
and and and I tell you that, you know that he knows what I'm
22:26
saying. So when I say I told God, I as my as my
22:30
daddy, I told my Daddy, please don't let them people burn me up
22:33
with that stuff. I just want you to fix it with this. You
22:37
can fix it with this. You you, you showed them how to make
22:40
this chemo crap. You can fix it with this. I wish that had
22:44
worked when I asked him to see me that man, but it didn't.
22:45
But it worked with the cancer thing. So yeah, I told him.
22:51
I told him what I wanted, and he gave it to me. The
22:52
man thing. He's still working on that. I don't know how you know.
22:56
Listening to me on that one, our producer saying, and she agrees
22:59
with you said, come on one, now you're speaking now, so she's
23:00
in agreement with you. Well, I'm glad you agree. Somebody to hang
23:07
in there. We're gonna take a quick commercial. We're gonna be back with
23:10
Miss Barbara the comedian Upper Dward. Not gonna say, but some people can
23:15
bring into their imagination. Yes, turn off the lights tonight. I'm gonna
23:51
I'm gonna imagine. Yes, take a shower show together. I'll wash your
24:07
bunnet. You wash my that some not wealth day. Same turn off this
24:32
come girl, I want to care of you a special treat. You're so
24:41
sweet. Turn of Welcome back, Welcome back, Welcome back. We are
24:51
here talking with breast cancer survivor Barbara Mountain. With nearly three million breast cancer
24:57
survivors in the United States, the five year survival way for patients has increased
25:03
to over ninety percent thanks to advancements in breast cancer treatment and early detection.
25:08
Now, you mentioned that you are breast cancer free seven months, and you
25:14
said that you were diagnosed back in twenty twenty one. Mm hm, Wow,
25:19
have you seen any changes in the advancement for breast cancer. It's hard,
25:26
Like I said, it's hard for me to answer that question because you
25:33
know how people say they go through chapters in their life. It wasn't a
25:37
chapter for me. It was it was a it was a two word sentence.
25:40
You remember, remember that sentence when they said, Jesus Web, that's
25:42
all cancer was for me, Barbara Webb period, that's it. I don't.
25:47
I don't. I don't follow any of the I don't follow it,
25:52
you understand. I mean, I know that just I know it. I
25:56
listen. I'm listening to it come out of my mouth, and I know
25:57
that it sounds flippant and it sounds almost like ungrateful. But I don't follow
26:03
any research. I don't follow any of it because in my mind I'm cancer
26:08
free. I don't. I don't. I don't go in it. I
26:12
tried to do the groups, but all they talk about is when it came
26:17
back, and that's not my conversation. My conversation is when I get my
26:22
little ce's what am I gonna do? The two piece or the one piece?
26:26
And I'm not talking about churches. And that's all I care about is
26:30
I'm better. And I talked, but I talked to other cancer women who
26:34
have cancer one on one, and I try to do what I always do.
26:38
I try to put a smile on their face and all of this other
26:41
stuff. But the conversations I don't like are the conversations that about either somebody
26:48
else died in their family or that it came back. And that's what happened
26:52
with my god brother. He didn't last a year. He never smoked,
26:57
he never drank. He'd been a preacher since he was fifteen. I watched
27:00
him get ordained, and he died of lung cancer in less than a year.
27:07
And through the whole thing, he tried to preach and do whatever he
27:11
supposed to do, and all of that, and the guilt that I feel
27:15
for surviving and him not being here, I don't dwell on it because I
27:22
couldn't grieve my mama when she died, because I got sick so quickly.
27:26
I couldn't grieve in the way that I wanted to, because grieving takes a
27:33
toll on your body, and I needed to eat. I needed to be
27:37
strong enough to take the poison they was putting through my system. And so
27:44
it feels like my mama just died a couple of months ago. You understand,
27:47
That's how it feels to me. I'm grieving now because I didn't get
27:51
it to do it for two years. My godbrother died last year right before
27:55
Thanksgiving. I didn't get to grieve him, but I'm grieving him down and
27:59
so I don't. It's not something I dwelt on. I don't know about
28:02
any progressions in the treatments of cancer because and I promise whoever's on here and
28:08
you're going through this, I'm not being flippant, but I don't know what's
28:12
going on in the cancer research because I don't have cancer no more. And
28:18
that's just how I feel. You may feel different, and that's okay.
28:22
But as far as for me, I don't have cancer no more, and
28:26
so I don't think about it, you know, anymore. I'm still a
28:30
fat girl. All I worry about is they need to stop making fake chicken
28:33
so I can continue to eat chicken. Stop making fake vegetables so I can
28:37
eat vegetables. Leave the water millons alone because it's my favorite fruit. Those
28:41
are the things I worry about. But as far as cancer, I don't
28:44
have it no more. And I'm si to feel the way that you feel.
28:48
And I would hope that nobody would hold that against you. But you're
28:52
the type of person if they did that would be on them. Breast cancer
28:56
treatment has improved greatly in recent years, but Black women are still less likely
29:00
to obtain treatment compared to other races. Do you believe it's due to the
29:06
socioeconomic status, limited access to health care, or limited awareness not being aware?
29:14
You know? It's it's it's all. It's all of those things and
29:17
the and the thing that you did not say. And I don't know it's
29:18
just political correctness, but I'm not. I don't have that that that that
29:22
my political is broke. And it's because we black and black people do not,
29:27
especially women, do not get taken seriously. You know, I many
29:32
times they don't call security on me in the hospital I go to because you're
29:36
not gonna play with me when I come to the hospital. I want the
29:38
same treatment as Karen, Jessica and Monica. And if you can't give me
29:44
that treatment, I'm gonna move furniture in this room. And that and that
29:47
is the reason why, because we are not seen pain. Our pain is
29:52
not like other people's pain. To them, our skin is tougher and and
29:56
uh and and and we it can't hurt that bad. And the first thing
30:00
they asked you is do you know, do you take any recreation or whatever.
30:03
Honey, The only thing I do recreationally is buffets and goodwill. Go
30:08
get me somebody else because I don't play them kind of games. When it
30:12
comes down to my body and the pain that I'm going through, and all
30:15
of those things you name are the reasons why un education is at the bottom
30:22
of the totem pole. It's about money, insurance, and how you look.
30:27
And then that educational thing is is something else because a woman, you
30:32
don't have to be educated to know that's something wrong with your body. So
30:34
it's not an educational thing. That's not the lowest part of the totem pole.
30:37
You know what's something wrong with your body. You may not have a
30:40
name for it because you ain't going to school for sixteen hundred years, but
30:44
you know that something wrong with your body. And so that's I'm sorry.
30:48
That's how I feel about that whole anything here. You know, you saying
30:53
as you feel, don't yet that for anything. That's the way that you
30:57
feel. Nobody can tell you that you're wrong, right, He has the
31:00
right to their opinion, and opinion is just that it's the way that the
31:03
person feel. A person can't tell you that you don't have a headache when
31:07
you're saying you have a headache, because you know how you feel. So
31:11
you can't, you know, you can't just worry about and dwelling what other
31:14
people are thinking. You know, what's coming out of your mouth. What
31:18
type of follow up treatment or kid do you receive. Is there more testing
31:21
to see if the cancer return or or that they got it all? Yeah,
31:26
because the reason it's called the one the cancer, the cancer that I
31:30
had was one of the most aggressive, but it's also one that comes back
31:41
it's okay. So I had two different kinds of cancer in one breast.
31:47
The first one it forms into a nodule or whatever, and it's in the
31:52
tissue and you can just scoop it. He could have scooped it out with
31:53
ice cream scooping. But the other one is the negative part. It is
32:00
when you look at when I looked at it on the screen, it was
32:01
just a bunch of dark spots going like this, and then it might have
32:05
been a dot down there and a dot down and that's that's the problem.
32:08
One little cancer cell could have gotten loose, which why I had, which
32:13
is why I was on chemo so long. And it could have hid,
32:15
and then it could have came back, and that's what happened with my mom,
32:19
and so it triple negative comes back, and so it was scattered all
32:23
over and that's why they couldn't just scoop it out. They had to actually
32:28
remove the breast. But I had them remove both of them with that just
32:31
in case thing. But I do go the first few years. You have
32:37
five years of they keep checking on you. So the first few you go
32:39
every three months, and then if that's what was okay, then you'll go
32:44
every six and then they'll do it every nine and then after that they'll do
32:47
it every year until your five years is up, and you go in and
32:52
they just take blood and they check on you and make sure your everything.
32:55
But that's about it. I don't go into to go in to just oh
33:00
and then next year, once a year, you'll go in and they'll give
33:05
you a dose of chemo, particularly because of what I have, and because
33:13
it'll kind of like, ma'am, how long is that dose? You know,
33:16
you say it's a do what is it? Like? I'm not sure.
33:21
I know that if it's just one dose like that, it probably lasts
33:23
a couple of hours. Okay, okay, you had somebody that say,
33:28
as you were speaking earlier, the truth is the truth, and speak yours
33:30
now. So you got some people that's definitely agreeing with your. Treatments are
33:37
being evaluated in clinical trials. This includes individual drugs and a combination of drugs.
33:43
Have anybody suggested any clinical trials to you? They do, But I
33:49
think that I think those clinical trial and this is just me because of the
33:54
name on there, y'all know, you know, I'm very I'm very pro
33:59
So I think that these clinical trials are suggested more to black and brown people
34:04
than they are to Karen, Susan and Monica. And so I don't.
34:08
I won't. I won't do a clinical trial because I'm not a guinea pig.
34:15
We did our clinical trial, which is why, which is how they
34:17
know how to do hysterectorly. We did our clinical trials, which is how
34:22
they know how to do do most surgeries, which they did on our people
34:25
with no anesthesia. We done did our stuff. It's like the people in
34:29
Florida. We done did the fields. We're not coming to move down there.
34:31
Y'all got rid of them essays and let me stop. Okay, we
34:35
done did ours. I did, We did ours, and I'm not doing
34:37
it no more. Okay, let me need that, long said, living
34:42
with breast cancer, it can take a toll on you. You said you
34:45
lost your kidney and your gold ladder, and that was before you were diagnosed
34:51
with cancer for both, right, Yeah, that was not related. So
34:54
are you going for treatment like dialysis with the kidney? I had one and
35:00
she fine one the kidney. They told me. I'm a truck driver.
35:09
So I was in Baltimore. I was in not Baltimore. I was in
35:14
Indiana, Indiana when when I had a uh, I just had I couldn't
35:21
use the bathroom, and when I did, it felt like death. And
35:24
they told me that I would have to have that kidney removed because it had
35:29
stones that were turning into these things that looked like hooks. And I said,
35:34
okay, and I just I forgot about it. I not not unintentionally.
35:38
I just told myself, I'm not doing It'll go away. I started
35:42
drinking celery stuff and doing holistic but it was already too late. And so
35:45
by the time my mom died, about a week or two after she after
35:52
she died, I went to the bathroom and actually passed out. The pain
35:57
was so great, and when I came to I I went to the doctor,
36:00
and the first hospital I went to he was like, Oh, you
36:04
just have a UTI or whatever. Then I called my friend, she's a
36:07
nurse. She said, no, you have to find enough doctor because he's
36:09
wrong. And if I had listened to that first emergency room doctor, I
36:15
would have just got back in the truck and went back on the road.
36:16
But when I went to the hospital, the second hospital, they admitted me
36:21
within three hours because somebody decided to do their job that day. Yeah,
36:25
I'm glad you listen to yourself and your friend. You're not a breast cancer
36:30
survivor. You're also a survive of intimate plot of violence and sexual abuse.
36:35
What are your coping mechanisms? This right here? My coping mechanism is to
36:46
never let myself forget that it's okay not to be okay. I never let
36:59
myself forget that it's okay for me to be in a bad mood. It's
37:02
okay that I don't want nobody to touch me or talk to me today.
37:07
It's okay because there's a reason why I don't want you to touch me or
37:13
talk to me. Today. There's a reason why I am. I sometimes
37:20
have nightmares. It's not because my mom used to say she just want attention.
37:25
Now. I love my mama and I understand her now. I wish
37:28
I did back then, but I do now. But she just want attention.
37:31
She just you know, it ain't nothing. It's just this, that
37:34
and other. Or get over it. It's over wight, just get over
37:37
it. And so my poping mechanism is to never let myself forget that there
37:43
is a reason why I am the way I am. There's a reason why
37:46
my empathy level for people brings me to tears, even if I have no
37:52
idea who they are and I just met them. And as long as I
37:57
remind myself that there's a reason why I am the way I am, then
38:00
then the thing I used to tell myself was that I was crazy or you're
38:06
insane or normal people don't act like this. I don't have to have those
38:09
feelings, that those thoughts no more, because I am a product of whatever
38:15
happened to me. But I can either be negative and say, well,
38:20
I'm gonna just make somebody else feel the way I feel, or I can
38:22
flip that and I can say to myself. I'm gonna make somebody feel the
38:28
way I wanted those people to make me feel. And that's what I do.
38:31
That's my copa meganism, my coping mechanisms. When I get up in
38:35
the morning, I tell myself, you got ten people today. The worst
38:38
I feel is the more people. You got ten people today that you have
38:43
to make smile, So that means you better get yourself together. I don't
38:46
care if you have to change outfits twenty times. Get yourself together and you
38:51
got ten people to make smile today, you got a job to do.
38:52
Let's get it, Let's kick it, and let's go. That's my copor
38:55
mechanism. I love that. One of the things that I know that you're
39:00
looking forward to it is this Friday, this happy birthday. Thank you,
39:08
thank you. Big plan no I did. I did big plans and nobody
39:14
shows up. And that's that's literally, that's not Everybody always laugh at first,
39:19
and I know because it's funny, but it's literally, I'll make plans
39:22
and nobody shows up. And I decided last year, after I did this
39:28
big old plan, one person showed up and I had all these gifts.
39:31
I'm a giver, so I had gifts to give the people that were coming
39:36
to mind, nobody showed up with one person, and so I decided that
39:40
everybody in the restaurant was coming to my birthday party. So I gave them
39:43
all my party favors and I had a party with the strain with everybody in
39:47
the restaurant. But I told myself I wouldn't do that to myself again,
39:52
because after it was over and I got in a car, it took me.
40:00
Took me a couple of hours to convince myself not to run my car
40:02
into uh uh, into a poll and I held it. And that's just
40:08
my truth. It took me a couple of hours of sitting in the parking
40:12
lot literally with my hand on the wheel, trying to convince myself of all
40:15
the things I had to live for, and I literally only had one.
40:20
And that was what they gonna tell my god son if I do this,
40:23
and that that convinced me. Nothing else convinced me. Not you gotta do
40:28
your mama, not your nothing. That's what convinced me. How they gonna
40:31
tell him that you did this to yourself. And then I drove home and
40:35
cry, thank God for your god son. I'm just so happy. Yeah,
40:38
I'm so happy that you're still here. You hold a bachelor's degree in
40:43
business and a master's degree in business management, and you also have a esthetic
40:47
degree and all license cosmetologist. How do you stay focused? I let the
40:55
stuff go that I didn't want to do. No more costal and being an
41:01
esthetician in the South. But back when I got it, I couldn't do
41:07
it. I couldn't. I couldn't do the envelopean people. I couldn't do
41:10
it because they didn't want you to touch them and they were very I couldn't
41:15
do it because that I don't this right here, I had my mouth.
41:17
I wouldn't make no money, no tips, So I didn't. So I
41:21
let those things slide off. If I'm called somebody asked me to do something,
41:24
I will, But those things are all slid off. Now I run.
41:28
I'm trying to do that seven streams of income thing. So I have
41:30
my clothing line. I have another product that I for adults only that I
41:38
do, and those two things are keeping me occupied. Because I owned my
41:43
clothing line, I got rid of the person that was doing it, and
41:45
I decided to teach myself how to make my own stuff and then I could.
41:52
You may not know this, but I end yea, you are a
41:57
truck a truck driver of over six years. How did it come about?
42:02
I always said, just getting up in the d maybe now sitting there and
42:07
just driving and doing all of that, and yeah, yes, happy.
42:16
I was working at I was working at at the hospital, very angry because
42:27
I don't like office politics. I don't like that water cooler mentality that sometimes
42:34
working with a lot of women you can have. And I said, I
42:37
was sitting at the computer and my birthday was coming up, and I asked
42:42
myself, is this what you want to do for the next sixty years thirty
42:45
twenty? I was like no. So I originally went down to the college
42:49
to do nails, but the but the class got canceled and they said,
42:54
the only thing we have left in certain such and such and truck driving.
42:58
And I was like, well, I'll do anything to get my mind off
43:00
of this job. So I went to I went to the truck driver school.
43:04
I the whole time, I kept saying, you ain't gonna drink to
43:06
be able to do this, You're not gonna be able to do this.
43:07
I did it the whole time, and even when I got in the truck.
43:10
The whole time. God made it so that all of the guys in
43:15
the class dropped out or had to leave because of something. That was only
43:19
me and another guy in the instructor. So I had almost like private lessons.
43:23
Let me tell you, people can't take me listen, don't tell me
43:27
God don't exist. If one more person tell me universe, I promise you,
43:30
I'm gonna take hostages. Anyway, So it was just me and this
43:34
other guy, and so it was like private lessons and I did it and
43:37
I got it, and they gave me my license, and I sat in
43:39
the middle on the floor, in the middle of the DMV, walking back
43:45
and forth, and the man said, what's wrong. I said, when
43:46
them people find out that I don't know what I'm doing, they gonna take
43:50
this back. And it was an old man and he picked me up and
43:53
he took me to the side. He said, no, Sis, you
43:57
did it. And I laid on that old man showed I do not know
43:59
and still on and I google cried and then I got in the truck a
44:02
week later and went straight to Wisconsin, where I did started my first job.
44:07
Scared as all never left, never left the South before Ama. So
44:12
what kind of load do you be carrying? I did anything that wasn't hazardous.
44:16
I'm not carrying nothing that's going to explode. So I carried I did
44:21
food and uh. I did anything as long as it wasn't hazard I didn't
44:24
do hazardous or fuel or I didn't do tankers and that like that. It
44:30
was just a drive in. Oh wow, And I did I've done.
44:35
I mean the spoons I got. I did thirty nine states. But are
44:39
you going through every state? Hopefully to go through every state? Yeah?
44:44
Yeah, but I and I am going to as soon as I get my
44:46
breast, my breast reconstruction, I'm going back in the truck. Okay,
44:53
okay. So again I spoke with you earlier and I was saying how we
44:58
met. Well, of course it was virtual. Yeah for you. I'm
45:07
still working on my upperly line, still designing, and I'm doing that.
45:12
I wrote a book. It's called Ma and I'm going to I was very
45:19
disobedient when I wrote that book. I wrote it to God gave me the
45:23
first line of that book almost fifteen to twenty years ago, and I didn't
45:27
write it. I didn't do it. I didn't want to because I knew
45:30
that the first chapter of the book would be the most detailed I could be
45:35
of my molestation as a child, and I just didn't want to do it.
45:39
So when when I when I finally could not not hear him, I
45:45
just wrote it. And it's just it ain't. It ain't the book that
45:47
he told me to write. And that's what happens when you live in disobedience.
45:52
And I know that's why I'm not as far along as I want to
45:53
be. So I'm going to finish the book the way God want me to
45:57
do it, and I want my I want my lives to turn into another
46:05
part. I used to have a podcast and it was called Bobby Takes Over,
46:10
but I stopped doing that because I was working with people who became I
46:16
don't know why, because I thought we were friends, but they became very
46:20
jealous because of the views and my show was going was growing faster than theirs,
46:28
and it cost a lot of contention, and I don't do contention.
46:32
I do. I'm gonna tell you off and then I actually if you want
46:35
something to eat, I mean, like, I don't understand why we're still
46:37
arguing. I already said what I had to say, but it became and
46:42
now they're trying to get me to come back or I was trying to get
46:45
back with them, but I want to go back into my podcast, which
46:49
is why I'm trying to build my followers up on the live and be more
46:52
consistent with it, because I know that what I'm saying and how I'm saying
47:00
it is how some people have to hear it. They have to hear it
47:05
this this way and and how I am because they're not gonna listen no other
47:10
way, and that what I want. Once you finish your book, I'm
47:16
definitely gonna read it and I'm going to have you back here to talk about
47:20
it. But you're not only coming back here to talk about your book,
47:22
You're also gonna be with me in November for by Black Friday, and you're
47:28
gonna talk about everything that you're doing. I would tell them to give you
47:30
a little sneak peek right now if you're what you got created, but they're
47:35
gonna have to wait until November because I think, wait and when I've seen
47:39
her work, so don't go cheating and going on Facebook and looking up and
47:43
looking to see what she got. Wait until November, and I just just
47:46
get your coins and everything ready because and I got to order myself because I
47:51
love what you have going on. Man, Thank you. It's just been
47:57
wonderful having you here talking about you and everything else that you're doing. Younger
48:05
women with an age of less than forty years or women over eighty years tend
48:08
to have a poorer prognosis than postmenopausal women due to several factors. Their breastmen
48:15
change with their minstrual cycles as you mentioned, and they may be nursing infants,
48:21
and they may be unaware of changes in their breasts. Some people just
48:23
figure that I guess it's growing pains or because they're getting older, that things
48:29
are changing, but they have to be careful about that. Therefore, younger
48:31
women are usually at a more advantage stage when diagnosed. They may also be
48:37
build logical factors contributing to a higher disease recurrence for younger women with breast cancer.
48:44
If you'd like to learn more about breast cancer or cancer, please call
48:47
the COmON Breast Cancer Hotline at call one eighth seven seven four six' five
48:54
six six three six. Again that's one eighth seven seven four six five six
49:00
six three six. Do you have an idea or another topic or suggestion for
49:06
a guest to be interviewed. Are you curious about a certain topic and how
49:09
it affects your everyday life? Drop a message in the comment section and we'll
49:14
see what we can do. Do you want to bring your literary vision to
49:17
life? Join us next Friday, October thirty first to help us celebrate our
49:23
one hundredth and fiftieth show, and we are great Doctor Jackie to share her
49:29
literary knowledge after eight after dark, So enjoy tonight. I'm going to continue
49:36
to chat with my guests when the screen goes down because I have some stuff
49:39
that I want to talk to about that's a little private. But thank you,
49:44
thank you, thank you for giving me a lot of information on breast
49:47
cancer. You were just so real and you again, you just made it
49:54
to a place where I don't feel that I have to talk in secret and
50:00
whisper it. Yeah, try to call a doctor and just talk on the
50:04
down law by saying, look, you know, I don't have to do
50:07
that. Now I'm feeling I'm feeling more encouraged. I'm feeling like this talking
50:14
about breast cancer. And again I'm not belittling it, but it's like talking
50:17
about getting a shot for the flu. It's going to get my breast examined,
50:22
you know. So I thank you, I thank you so much for
50:28
being open. I think everyone that has come on talking on my podcast and
50:32
other my sister's podcasts about breast cancer, about cancer. Breast cancer. We
50:39
celebrated in October, but people are living with it all year long. And
50:44
I really mean to say, we talk about it and October, but they're
50:49
living with it all year long. So I don't think that we should just
50:52
have one month that we say breast cancer, breast cancer, breast cancer.
50:59
Come November. These some of these individuals are still going to have breast cancer,
51:05
wom and so on and so forth. So you know, I'm gonna
51:07
have other guests throughout the year, even for my next year, which will
51:12
be our second year, I'm gonna even be talking to individuals who want to
51:15
talk about their cancer, their forms, how they're feeling, and just to
51:23
share. Again. Good night everybody, and thank you so much for tuning
51:28
in. Good Night everybody. Basic Black after Dark The Dark Low podcast Show
51:37
with your host Black Diamon