Latest / Dear Chelsea / Minisode: Thick Skin with Chelsea + Catherine

Transcript

Minisode: Thick Skin with Chelsea + Catherine · Dear Chelsea

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hi, Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you Hi.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: I'm just slowly recuperating from my shoulder invasion. Basically my
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: day consists of waking up, getting into a hyperbaric chamber
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: for two hours, going to physical therapy, and trying to
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: do some sort of exercise, then icing my arm about
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: fifteen times a day. Do I sound like I'm complaining
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: because I am.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I mean fucking complaining, like shit.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: You know.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, some days I feel really good and then I
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: on Saturday, I really overdid it. I was like feeling
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: really good. My doctor took out my stitches. I went
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: to pete. Then I went for lunch, and then I
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: went for a walk, and then I was like, oh,
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I'll go to this dinner party. And then I was
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: at this dinner party and like thirty minutes into it,
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: I was like I was in pain agony. I'm like, oh, no,
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: I fucked something up. But I just overdid it. I
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: always overdo it. Yeah, gotta rest, gotta rest.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: And then I have a nice little nurse that comes
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: to my house every night and puts gives me an
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: injection and infusion for my arm to cut my infection.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: And yeah, it's a lot. It is I feel like
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: I'm in a nursing home.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Your own home is a musing home.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: Now, well, I have a response from one of our episodes,
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: and then we have a quick caller.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Okay, great, let's do it. So I just thought this
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: was a cute email.
• 1:14
  Speaker 4: Margie says, just listening to your show with Hunter McGrady,
• 1:17
  Speaker 4: and I think everyone spoke about having a piece of
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: pencil lead graphite stuck in their skin.
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: Did you have one as well? Now my sister did. Oh,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Brad definitely does.
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: I just so happened to have watched an episode of
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: Doctor Pimple Popper and there was a woman on her
• 1:31
  Speaker 4: show what a piece of pencil in her hand for
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: forty plus years?
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: Apparently, I'm guessing it's gone now. It was amazing. Check
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: it out. Are you into that stuff like the Doctor
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: pimple Popper stuff? I don't like that. I can't watch
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: that now I've seen it. I know what you're talking.
• 1:43
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but this was the part I thought was very nice.
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: Margie says, keep doing what you're doing. It has changed
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: my life perspective about myself and how I relate to
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: the world. Listening to you speak truth and strength with
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: no apologies about your place on this planet as a
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: woman is infectious.
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: No more making myself smaller.
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: I've always felt that I was actually six feet tall
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: and ripped stuck in my petite five foot one inch frame.
• 2:05
  Speaker 4: Now I know I am, and I'm gonna love my truth.
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: Keep kicking ass, Marquie, Is.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: This what do you mean?
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: She got a pencil removed because of our episode?
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Is this what she's talking about?
• 2:14
  Speaker 4: No, I think she's just inspired by you, like just
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: in general the pencil what there was a bit of
• 2:21
  Speaker 4: a shift in there?
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: Oh well great, Yes, yes, live out loud.
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: Everybody live out loud, and we have some callers.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: That's why we have a couple calling in.
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: Oh, a couple that I mess that you met at
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: the Chelsea when you were performing at the.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: Cosmo My Vegas residency. Everybody, My next date is March
• 2:38
  Speaker 2: twenty first.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: While they're Brad and Leslie, and Leslie is actually the.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: One writing, but both of them will be joining us.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: So she says, Hey, Chelsea, I'm Leslie and my husband
• 2:50
  Speaker 4: Brad and I met you recently when you performed at
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: the Chelsea in Las Vegas. We got to say high
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: after the show. I'm a second generation Plates instructor, meaning
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: my teacher studied directly with Joe Plates. I've been teaching
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: since two thousand and eight. I started traveling the world
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: teaching pilates about the same time that I met my husband.
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: A few years later, he convinced me to start online
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: pilates Classes dot com we just call it OPC, and
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: then join me full time to run the company in
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: twenty nineteen. For so many years, OPC was me doing
• 3:16
  Speaker 4: my thing. Everything was my responsibility. They were my clients
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: and my problems. I've always answered my own dms, done
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: my own socials, basically all the marketing, and I still do.
• 3:26
  Speaker 4: I've in the face of the company, even as it's
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: grown beyond only me doing the teaching. Because I still
• 3:32
  Speaker 4: do the marketing, it often feels like I'm on the
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: frontline of customer service or on bad days, dealing with
• 3:37
  Speaker 4: Internet trolls. I know, you know how that goes. I'm
• 3:40
  Speaker 4: really lucky. I love working with my husband. Brad is
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: an amazing CEO and has built an incredible team. I'll
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: admit that during the first couple of years, going from
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: me and my business to we and our business was tricky.
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: When something wouldn't go as planned. I tended to default
• 3:54
  Speaker 4: to shouldering the burden and not sharing it. It's gotten easier,
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: but sometimes I still struggle with this, and I know
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: it's frustrating for Brad. How do you lean more on
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: your team so that the business issues, obstacles and trolls
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: don't feel so personal?
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: Leslie and Brad?
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: Hi, guys, Hi, Hi did we meet at the Cosmo?
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: We did? Mean it the Coso? What a great memory.
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Oh.
• 4:16
  Speaker 5: I think I grabbed your butt too long though for selfie,
• 4:19
  Speaker 5: But oh that's okay.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: People are always grabbing me.
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: I'm not somebody who takes offense to that, but I
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: would not recommend grabbing other women's butts.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: I'm made of teflon.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: So are you guys talking about your dynamic?
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: This sounds like a you question.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Catherine, Like you, Katherine, my ex producer has a very
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: similar dynamic with her husband.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: He's there.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: He does our sound on our podcast, and she's the
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: producer on our podcast. So they work closely together and
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: not just on this podcast, on other podcasts.
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: Right right.
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: I heard he's got a cool name.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: Yeah he does. His name is also Brad. I'm not
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: going to dignify that with last.
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: So I mean, for us, I think it's really about
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: division of labor because this was your personal Instagram before
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: it was the business Instagram. Correct, yeah, yeah, And it
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: was always me as just the person teaching, and then
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: several years ago brought other teachers on and we brought
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: more team on and.
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: It's been amazing and wonderful. And I think the hard
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: part is that even when I know that the customer
• 5:21
  Speaker 5: service teems amazing, even when I know I can submit this,
• 5:24
  Speaker 5: I'm like, here, here's where you go. Just chat to
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: them over here, Sometimes it feels like I'm letting people down,
• 5:30
  Speaker 5: do you know what I mean? Like, it's not that
• 5:32
  Speaker 5: the business is letting them down. I take it personally,
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: which is not probably not the healthiest thing right right.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: When you're a business owner, you set up systems for
• 5:39
  Speaker 4: yourself so that you can offload a lot of the burden.
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: And I think that that maybe is like part of
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: what's difficult here. Tell me, Brad, when you read stuff
• 5:48
  Speaker 4: that's like, let's say it's from a troll, something nasty,
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: when you read stuff that's about Leslie, does that.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: Still feel like a personal attack? Does it get to
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: you personally?
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: Oh? Sometimes one time we had somebody, particularly you know,
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: out there and that was really difficult for everybody, and
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: the whole team was also aware of it, and we
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: had to make like a team announcement like hey, if
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: this person contacts you, But more often than not, it's.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: What did they say? I mean about pilates?
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: I know, girl, I mean it's not really about the pilates.
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: It's really funny, you know. Uh, we got one in
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: last week, which I just laughed at because I had
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: a birthday and I decided I have no fs to
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: get anymore, Like I'm just gonna go with it. But
• 6:27
  Speaker 5: like I wrote an email about like ways to work
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: around with one of our social media if you don't
• 6:32
  Speaker 5: like what's going on.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I didn't even get specific.
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: And someone's like, so you were with censorship then, and
• 6:37
  Speaker 5: I was like, okay, I just told the team. I said,
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: we're not even responding, just block and bless, Like.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I really have to like have a little bit
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: of a thicker skin in general for life. It doesn't
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: do you any good to like actually pay heed to
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: any of those comments, regardless of whether they're about you
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: personally or about the business. Like you really, it's it's
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: kind of like a necessary thing to be able to
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: have a thicker skin, not only for you, for your company,
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: for the other people that are working with you and
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: together with you, to demonstrate to them because you are
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: a leader and that requires leadership, and leadership is not
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: somebody who's going through their comments and getting upset about it,
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Like that's just not that's not part of the equation.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: You can't.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: You really have to like have a little bit of
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: a thicker skin, And can't you just block certain people
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: like why are you not doing that?
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 7:31
  Speaker 5: You can, And then they get this particular person just
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: got an army together a.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: School community, so it's not like it's not like they
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: just disappear. You know, there's still very much connected to
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: the rest of the community too, So you know, in
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: that kind of case, it was delicate, But I think.
• 7:47
  Speaker 5: You I liked the idea of the thicker skin, So
• 7:50
  Speaker 5: it's just goes like were you born with a thick skin?
• 7:52
  Speaker 5: Like how did you get a thick skin? Because you
• 7:54
  Speaker 5: do do things all the time that I'm sure pissed
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: a lot of people off, even though I think they're hilarious,
• 7:58
  Speaker 5: and you know, like how did you just start to
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: go I'm not going to take that on.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: I mean, it's a practice, you have to like practice it.
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: You're wasting your time on someone's negative energy, So you
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: kind of have to look at it like even if
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: you're looking at it in a business sense, like this
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: does not help us succeed any further, This does not
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: help us move the ball any further or closer to
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: where we're going. So therefore it's not helpful.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: And treat it.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: As something that is just so such a like a
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: business problem, not even a personal thing, you know what
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: I mean. Just remove your emotions from from the whole subject.
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Because these people have nothing to do.
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: They're sitting at home writing negative comments on people's Instagram.
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: I've never once sat and wrote a negative comment on
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: anyone's Instagram page because that's not how I spend my time.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: So don't give people who spend their time like that
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: any credit or credence or anything. Just like you have
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: to practice not giving a shit about what people are
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: saying about you, whether it's good or bad, you know
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: what I mean.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Because for example, like when we do these episodes
• 9:03
  Speaker 4: like minisodes are regular episodes or whatever, we all have
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: some people that I didn't really like that episode, and
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: then I'll have ten people emailing and be like that
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: episode was life changing. I loved what that person had
• 9:13
  Speaker 4: to say. I loved what Chelsea said about XYZ, Like
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: you do have to remember that, like just because one
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: person is like maybe a crazy person or maybe just
• 9:21
  Speaker 4: like if something wasn't for them, Like that's fine. People
• 9:24
  Speaker 4: feel like they need to give you feedback, but like
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: you don't actually need that.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: And then there's me who pays zero attention to any
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: of the feedback that we ever get on the podcast
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: at all.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: And we're in our fifth season. So there you go.
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: Because you know what you like and you know how
• 9:38
  Speaker 4: you want to operate, and you're doing that the way
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: you're saying.
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: And I'm not just you know, you have to be successful,
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: like the podcast has to be successful to go on.
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: It doesn't just continue because I'm a celebrity or whatever.
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: Like we actually have to get listeners. But I also
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: don't ever get consumed with what other people's thoughts like
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: And it's a good practice in life, like start practicing
• 9:56
  Speaker 2: it in your business and start letting it bleed through
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: in your personal life. And it's just there's a sense
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: of freedom that people are missing by by paying such
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: close attention to other people's think thoughts about them.
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: I will also say, like, because you can't ever avoid
• 10:12
  Speaker 4: the trolls and the noise completely, Like, yes, you have
• 10:15
  Speaker 4: to get a thicker skin, but also maybe there's a
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: system that you set up where Brad, if you're affected
• 10:22
  Speaker 4: by this stuff, like maybe it's not you, maybe it's
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: somebody on your team goes through your inbox before you're
• 10:27
  Speaker 4: going through it, and it's like, here are the ones
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: that you can respond to personally, I already went through
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: and blocked you know, any trolls, any whatever. You're not
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: gonna be able to avoid it completely, but like maybe
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: there's a system in there where it's just like okay, cool,
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: I know, like on the daily I have a team
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: member in they're just like getting rid of the trash,
• 10:42
  Speaker 4: getting rid of the junk mail.
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: You know.
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: That's a good idea too.
• 10:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because you don't have to read mean things about
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: yourself if you don't have to.
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: No, Yeah, it's really funny.
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: We joke that, Like I love my YouTube because the
• 10:54
  Speaker 5: comments are either just actual questions or you know, wonderful
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: feet back, or just people who are obsessed with like
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: my feet or whatever, and so at least it's all complimentary,
• 11:05
  Speaker 5: like they're weird, but like I'm good with it and
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: so so. But it is interesting, like how on the
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: social platforms there it is like there's someone has to
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: clean up the trash. And if it's going to distract me,
• 11:15
  Speaker 5: then outsourcing that until I can have a thicker skin
• 11:19
  Speaker 5: or intel or never come back again because I have
• 11:21
  Speaker 5: other things to do. That might be the next step
• 11:24
  Speaker 5: so that we can continue to grow because we have
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: so much fun doing what we're doing.
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's really important to remember that. Like
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: we used to use our Instagram accounts like a journal,
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: you know, it's like what you ate today and like
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: what you did last weekend. But especially because you're running
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: a business on this specific account, now that's no longer
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: what it is. So I think I have to treat
• 11:46
  Speaker 4: it like what it is, a business tool, which is
• 11:48
  Speaker 4: how you've been using it the last few years. And
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: it's time to outsource that twenty dollars an hour work
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: of sorting through dms, sending some stuff to you know,
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: customer service, deleting the trolls to one of your team
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: members so you can free up headspace to focus on
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: the big picture of stuff in your business and run
• 12:05
  Speaker 4: your business good good, All right?
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Is that helpful?
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Absolutely, I think so.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: And just remember the thought like, oh, move forward with
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: this thought. I'm a leader, like we're leaders, think about
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: the responsibility that that entails.
• 12:21
  Speaker 5: Yeah that when that, I think, I'm going to keep
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: putting that on replay.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: What would a leader do?
• 12:25
  Speaker 5: Yeah, it just gets you out of the actual feeling
• 12:28
  Speaker 5: of it and takes you outside of it.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: So I'm so grateful.
• 12:31
  Speaker 5: This is really fun.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: This is really I'm I'm so We're thankful.
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: And I think this is a way to think about
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: things moving forward.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: Great. Thanks for calling in guys. Thank you, they're very sweet. Yeah.
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: I think it's like now nowadays, like normal people have
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: to deal with this kind of stuff too, Like it
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: used to be just relegated to celebrities and even celebrities like, Okay,
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: you might get something in the mail that's not very nice,
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: but you didn't have this inundation daily of just.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: Like maybe more of the reasons to just completely block
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: it out.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what a waste of time.
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: Seriously, imagine sitting in front of the mirror and being like,
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: you're ugly, You're ugly.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: You're ugly to yourself for fifteen minutes a day. That's
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: what it's like reading comments.
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I've been hearing this phrase around, but that's like, look,
• 13:13
  Speaker 4: but don't stare, so it's like, Okay, I can see that.
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: I don't need to like take that on my half,
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: you know. I like that.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, okay minisodes, this is our minisod many
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: goodbye to you.
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: I