Latest / Women at Work: Career, Leadership & Modern Work / Why Women Are Asked to Prove Themselves Again When They Change Roles
Transcript
- Lucas: You move into a new role — maybe a lateral move, maybe a promotion — and suddenly you feel like you’re starting from zero. People who used to trust your judgment are now asking for proof. You’re having to re-establish credibility you already earned. That experience is not evenly distributed. Luna: I’ve felt that. It’s like there’s an invisible reset button that only some people have to press. And it’s not just in your head. Lucas: It’s not. There’s a 2024 Harvard Business Review study that tracked nearly 1,200 managers through internal role changes. Women received 30 percent more expressions of doubt — things like 'are you sure you’re ready for this?' or 'let’s see how you handle the numbers first.' Men moving into the same level of role got a credibility carryover. Women got a fresh interrogation. Luna: Thirty percent is huge. And that study was specifically about internal moves, where the person already has a track record inside the company. Lucas: Right. So it’s not about capability being unknown — it’s about capability being treated as provisional when a woman holds it. The researchers called it 'competence skepticism' that spikes at transition points. Luna: And I imagine it compounds. If you have to spend your first 90 days proving you belong instead of doing the actual work, you’re already behind. Lucas: Exactly. Your ramp-up time gets stretched. Your early wins get delayed. And because performance reviews often anchor on those first few months, the effect can ripple for years. One study from LeanIn.Org showed that women who change jobs internally are 15 percent less likely to get a top performance rating in their first year compared to men making similar moves. Luna: So it’s a structural drag on career momentum, not just a bruised ego. Lucas: Exactly. And it’s especially acute for women of color. The HBR study found that Black women experienced the highest rate of skepticism — nearly 40 percent more doubt than white men in identical transitions. Luna: That’s intersectional bias stacking on top of itself. So what’s driving this? Why do managers — who are often well-intentioned — default to skepticism with women? Lucas: Part of it is what researchers call 'role incongruity.' When a woman moves into a role that requires authority or technical depth, it clashes with the unconscious expectation that women are communal, not assertive or expert. So the brain generates a question mark. Luna: Like a cognitive dissonance that gets resolved by demanding more evidence. Lucas: Yes. And part of it is just pattern recognition — if the organization has fewer women in senior roles, each woman who moves up feels like an anomaly, and anomalies get scrutinized more. Luna: So the solution can’t just be 'be more confident' or 'lean in harder.' That puts the burden on the individual. Lucas: Agreed. But there are structural fixes — and there are tactics women can use to short-circuit the skepticism loop. One of the most effective, from the same HBR research, is what they call 'competence carryover endorsement.' Luna: That sounds like a formal handoff of credibility. Tell me more. Lucas: Before you move into the new role, you ask your current manager — or a senior stakeholder you’ve worked with — to explicitly communicate your track record to your new manager. Ideally in a three-way meeting or a written handoff that says: 'Luna has successfully delivered X, Y, and Z. She does not need a 90-day probation period to prove she can handle complexity.' Luna: That's a specific ask. And it shifts the burden from you having to constantly reference your own achievements — which can come off as defensive — to someone else vouching for you. Lucas: Exactly. It’s third-party credibility. And research on the 'assertiveness penalty' shows women are often dinged for self-promotion, but a sponsor advocating on your behalf doesn’t trigger that same penalty. Luna: So the tactic is to engineer the transition process to include an explicit competence transfer. That’s smart. But what if your current manager isn’t proactive? Do you have to ask them directly? Lucas: You do. And that can feel awkward. But the study found that women who made that request — saying something like 'I’d really appreciate if you could share your perspective on my strengths with my new manager so I can hit the ground running' — had significantly faster ramp-up and higher early performance ratings. Luna: So it’s a small upfront discomfort for a big downstream gain. Lucas: Right. Another tactic is to negotiate your onboarding differently. Instead of letting the new manager design your first 30 days, you propose a specific set of milestones that leverage your existing expertise. You essentially write the script for how you’ll be judged. Luna: That’s taking control of the narrative. Instead of being evaluated on generic criteria, you’re being measured against things you already know you can do. Lucas: Yes. And it forces the manager to explicitly endorse your plan, which is a form of commitment. Once they’ve agreed to your milestones, they’re less likely to keep moving the goalposts. Luna: This all assumes you have a manager who’s reasonable. What if the skepticism is coming from peers or skip-level leaders? Lucas: That’s harder. For peers, a common strategy is to systematically build alliances before you need them. Schedule one-on-ones with key cross-functional stakeholders in your first week — not to ask for permission, but to ask what success looks like from their perspective. It signals competence and collaboration at the same time. Luna: It’s a way of showing you’re strategic without having to say 'I’m strategic.' Lucas: Exactly. And for skip-level leaders, the most effective tactic is to find a small, visible win that solves a problem they care about — ideally in the first 30 days. That creates a narrative that you’re delivering value, which is hard to argue with. Luna: It’s almost like you have to design your own transition playbook because the default process doesn’t account for this bias. Lucas: Unfortunately, yes. And companies that are serious about equity should be redesigning their transition processes to include automatic credibility carryover — like requiring a structured handoff that includes a performance summary from the previous role. But until that’s standard, the burden is on the individual. Luna: I want to talk about something that comes up a lot in our listener mail. A lot of women say they feel like they have to prove themselves again even when they’re not changing roles — just when a new stakeholder comes on board. Lucas: That’s a really important point. The 'prove yourself again' dynamic isn’t limited to formal job changes. Any time there’s a new boss, a new client, a new project lead, women often experience a credibility reset. It’s exhausting. Luna: And it’s another form of invisible labor. You’re doing your job plus constantly re-establishing your reputation. Lucas: One thing that helps in that scenario is to proactively send a 'getting started' document to new stakeholders that summarizes your relevant experience and key accomplishments. It’s not self-promotion — it’s context setting. And it preempts the question 'who is this person and why should I trust them?' Luna: I’ve done that. It works. It also sets a tone of professionalism and preparedness. Lucas: And it signals that you’re not starting from zero. You’re bringing a track record with you. Luna: Speaking of which — a quick honest thing. This show exists because listeners like you support it. A handful of people chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, and that covers the production costs for episodes like this one. No ads, no sponsors, just listeners who find the conversations useful. Lucas: And we really appreciate that. It keeps us independent and focused on what actually helps people navigate their careers. So if the show has given you a useful framework or a concrete tactic, that’s the way to keep it going. Luna: Yeah. And it’s a small group that makes a big difference. Lucas: Alright — back to the prove yourself again penalty. I want to talk about one more strategy that the research really emphasizes, which is building a portfolio of endorsements before you need them. Luna: Like a 'brag file' but for external validation. Lucas: Exactly. Keep a running document of positive feedback, project outcomes, and specific compliments — especially from senior leaders. When you move into a new role or get a new stakeholder, you can reference that document in a natural way. 'In my previous role, I led the integration that saved the company $2 million — I’d love to bring that same approach here.' Luna: That’s a sentence that asserts competence without bragging. It’s grounded in a fact. Lucas: And it’s evidence the stakeholder can latch onto. It makes it harder for them to default to skepticism. Luna: I think the broader takeaway is that the prove yourself again dynamic is real and structural, but there are specific, actionable ways to counteract it. And the more we talk about them, the less women have to figure it out alone. Lucas: That’s the goal. One concrete thing you can do this week: if you’re starting a new role or getting a new boss, schedule a 15-minute conversation to talk about what you’ve already accomplished — not as a humblebrag, but as a foundation for the work ahead. Luna: And if you’re a manager, you can also look at your own behavior. Are you asking someone to prove something they’ve already proven? That’s a question worth sitting with. Lucas: Good note to end on. Thanks for being here.