Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Prank 27 Oct 2026

Transcript

Prank 27 Oct 2026 · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Stop what you're doing. Here is another world famous... One
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: call is all it takes.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: Prank call from Darren Whackhead Simpson.
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Exclusive to KFM Mornings. All right.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: Listen, we've had a lot of requests for this guy.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: Before I went on leave, I did a prank. And
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: you know, when it's a biggie, we give it a respin.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: And then we send it out onto social media.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Okay, so... The doctor, nurse, nurse, doctor.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: If you missed it last week, I hope you did
• 0:34
  Speaker 3: the week before last.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: And this was a very.
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: Very strange connection, which I'm going to just let the
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: whole thing unpack itself now.
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: So from two weeks ago, this is what happened. This
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: guy pops me an email from Nigeria wanting me to
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: prank his best friend who works.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: In the UK, as a nurse.
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: Okay, so this is the end of the call with
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: me and the guy in Nigeria. We're going to play
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: the ending before we play the beginning, all right?
• 1:07
  Speaker 4: Did you get him?
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: I got him good, man. I got him good.
• 1:13
  Speaker 4: I've told him about you. I've said things like that.
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: We never catch him.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: No, I got it.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: You are the best in the world. Honestly, I always.
• 1:24
  Speaker 2: Listen to you.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: So tell me, Andre.
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: He tried the exam three times and it's the final time.
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: So he thought he was going to fail.
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: How did you discover me?
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: On TikTok.
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: I don't know how many I've listened to. Every night
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: I listen to you.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: That's crazy, man.
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: It's so good to hear your voice. It's so good
• 1:47
  Speaker 4: to speak to you honestly. You are the best in
• 1:50
  Speaker 4: the world. I'm going to send it to all our friends.
• 1:52
  Speaker 4: I mean, some of our friends are in America, so
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: I'm going to send it to them.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Cool, Andre. Take care, man.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: Thank you, Aked.
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: You keep up doing your great work.
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: So this is what happened.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: He says, my mate, Alex Ayanbeku, he has just written
• 2:06
  Speaker 3: an exam at the University of London.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Oh, sounds serious. It's very serious.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: The V300 independent nurse prescribing course. So I did a
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: bit of research on this course. He's already a nurse.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: This is levels above.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: And it's quite a tough course to prescribe independently or
• 2:29
  Speaker 3: supplementarily within the UK. So the exams are hectic apparently.
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: The final exam, you've got to get minimum 80% overall
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: mark for the mathematical equations of this is 5 grams
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: of this, 6 grams of that. You need to get 100%
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: on the mathematical equation.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: 100%, no room for error.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: Sure. And it makes sense because the work is that serious.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: There are lives at stake.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: Absolutely.
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: Precision work.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: This is a hectic course and he's written it and
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: he's come back and he's passed.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Well done.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: We are going to have a medical discussion here. I've
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: gone and looked at past papers.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: So you had to prep for this prank a little bit.
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: I had to, yeah. So I don't even know what
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: I'm talking about.
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: But this is... Medicine, this is like standing with a doctor.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: You know, the doctor, you can talk about anything. This
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: is life or death. So we're going to have a
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: doctor-patient level of conversation here. Hello.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Hello, is this Alex?
• 3:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: Alex Ayanbeku.
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: Who are you speaking?
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: My name is Conrad.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: I'm calling you from the University of London. You did
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: the V300 nurse prescribing course.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: Okay, and you are aware that you did pass?
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Sorry, you sound a little bit shocked at this phone call.
• 3:57
  Speaker 5: The call, it's your international number, so that's why I'm just.
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: What are you calling internationally?
• 4:05
  Speaker 3: So the international standards for universities and university courses and structures,
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: that's where I'm calling you from.
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: Ah, okay.
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: All right, so we are an oversight committee that handles
• 4:18
  Speaker 3: marking and checks that there's no corruption in marking and
• 4:25
  Speaker 3: giving out degrees when they aren't deserved.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: Do you understand?
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: Okay, I understand.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: May I call you Alex or would you prefer Nurse Ayanbeku?
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: Alex is fine.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: Alex, okay, Alex.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: So Alex, let me just explain why I'm calling quickly.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: There are concerns from the global body saying that this
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: exam was way too easy. So we need to test
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: you as a standardized person.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: That took the test.
• 4:52
  Speaker 3: And if you do fail the test, then I'm afraid
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: the whole class is going to fail. So there's a
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: lot riding on this. We're going to ask you three
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: questions and you need to get three out of three.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: This will be an effective measure to see whether or
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: not this test was at the global standard of nursing practice.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Okay, so this is a multiple choice question. With drug interactions,
• 5:17
  Speaker 3: patient taking warfarin asks whether they can take ibuprofen for
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: back pain. What is the main concern that you would
• 5:26
  Speaker 3: have as a nurse?
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: Warfarin is anticoagulant and ibuprofen is antiplatelet. Both of them can.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Increase the risk of bleeding for the patient's Yes. Do
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: you think I.
• 5:44
  Speaker 5: Have more susceptible to bleeding? Can ibuprofen increase the risk
• 5:50
  Speaker 5: of gastric ulceration, testic ulceration?
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: The answer I was looking for was increased risk of bleeding.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: So you were spot on there.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Well done. You do know your stuff.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: What is the difference between pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics?
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: Dynamic is what the body does to the drug, and
• 6:16
  Speaker 5: kinetic is what the drug does to the body.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Okay, congratulations. You've got two out of two, but you
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: need three out of three. So you have to get
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: this next question correct for you and the whole class
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: to pass the V300 exam.
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Okay. Final question here. A man's penis has turned orange.
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: A man's penis has turned orange.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Yes.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: How would you get to the bottom of the problem?
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: What would you ask the patient?
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: Okay. I don't know.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: Think hard. The class is going to fail because of
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: you here.
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: Please, please.
• 7:07
  Speaker 5: I don't want the whole class to fail because of me. Yeah.
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Okay. Let me think deeply about it. If a patient...
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: What can I suggest? I don't know what to say.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: The whole class is riding on you here, Nurse Alex.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: I can ask them if they've asked....
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: Don't you remember learning this?
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Okay. As I say, if you... To have... I would say...
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: To hate... Okay.
• 7:56
  Speaker 5: So.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: I'm not sure. Has the patient taken it? I think.
• 8:21
  Speaker 5: A feeling of what is most likely to be that
• 8:26
  Speaker 5: the patient does. I will ask and try to rule
• 8:30
  Speaker 5: out if there's.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: Any STDs going on in there.
• 8:35
  Speaker 5: Have a proper wash and not.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Getting infection in there, which can make it cause discoloration
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: on it.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: Okay, because the correct answer is you need to tell
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: your patient not to watch Pornhub and eat cheese curls
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: at the same time.
• 8:55
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: Not to watch.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: Porn and eat cheese curls at the same time.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: You got to think of the most obvious first, you know,
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: before you go into the medical stuff. Ah. The whole
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: class is going to fail because of this. Because it
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: means that the questions, the standardized questioning was way too easy.
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: Are you able to give me another question? See if
• 9:27
  Speaker 5: I can go through with that. Please, please, if you
• 9:30
  Speaker 5: can give me another.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: Question, let's see, because I must tell you the truth.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: I didn't just.
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: Think about the response to that last question like that.
• 9:38
  Speaker 5: I wasn't thinking that it's just going to be something
• 9:42
  Speaker 5: as simple as what the patient is doing that's making
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: the pain easier. You see these are the critical skills
• 9:48
  Speaker 5: of a nurse.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: You see, these are the critical skills of a nurse. Okay,
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: how long have you been a nurse?
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: And where are you from originally?
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: Nigeria.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: Patient walks in and his penis is blue. He says,
• 10:24
  Speaker 3: I need some medication.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: What do you say?
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: If his.
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: Penis is blue, I will ask you what you were
• 10:35
  Speaker 5: doing before.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: And I will ask you if.
• 10:39
  Speaker 5: You're watching anything, watching movie or porn when you're doing that.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: And if it's what you're eating, probably... Blueberry.
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: Or something that can be of blue color that can
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: make the discoloration come from your penis. And if you
• 10:59
  Speaker 5: can confirm that, then I would probably say not to
• 11:04
  Speaker 5: teach yourself if you have eaten.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: Anything like that. Wash your hands before you do things
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: like that.
• 11:09
  Speaker 5: And probably to not do the two together.
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: Okay.
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: Do you know Andre Daramola?
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Where's he from?
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: He's from Nigeria.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I'm calling you from South Africa. Okay.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: Your Nigerian friend called me, my name is Wackett Simpson,
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: in South Africa on a radio station to prank you
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: about your V300 nursing test.
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: Okay. Okay.
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: You just kill him because I'm going to kill him.
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him.
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: So you went through all of.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: What sort of prank is this?
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: What?
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: My hand is.
• 12:12
  Speaker 5: My palm is sweaty.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: Ah. Ah. I'm just thinking, why would the whole class fail?
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: What?
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: Nobody ever told me. What?
• 12:39
  Speaker 5: I'm going to kill him. You're going to hear about
• 12:41
  Speaker 5: his death soon. I'm calling him on the other phone.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: You want it? Okay, we should probably hear you now. Speak,
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: we will hear you.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: Speak, just speak.
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: Say something.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: Is that Andre? Andre, it's Wacky at Simpson.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Andre, can you hear that?
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: That's Wacky at Simpson.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: Oh!
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: Oh, God, why are you still there?
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: You can hear him laughing.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: Can you hear him laughing?
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I can hear him.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: I won't fall for this. I won't fall for this.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Again.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: I dig him. I dig him. We still don't know yet.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: I must actually check and find out if he actually
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: did pass the test.
• 13:40
  Speaker 1: It sounds like he knows his stuff, eh?
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: What?
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: What?
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: What? There you go.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: If you missed it first time around, there it is
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: for you. We'll go up on line today. It's Derulo,
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: what you say, here on KFM Mornings.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: It is 8.30. Oh, we got some messages here. Crackhead,
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: you are wicked. This poor ouch is sweating.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: I had the best laugh you ever had.
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: Shane, please tell me why I'm sitting on the other
• 14:10
  Speaker 5: side of the radio with tears in my eyes feeling for.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: This poor man. Shane.
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: And here I am sitting eating blueberries listening to you guys.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: Like, come on.
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: You know, so that prank we played a couple of
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: weeks ago. Definitely worth the respin.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: And when I was with my wife in London and
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: then it came up and we were talking about it
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: and she said, I know a lot of your things
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: you draw from personal experience.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: That's all she said. She said, was that from? I said, no, darling.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Absolutely not.