Latest / The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast / Scared to Deal with Money? Start Here.

Transcript

Scared to Deal with Money? Start Here. · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: Hi friends, welcome back to the Simply Wholehearted podcast.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: It means so much to have you choose to take this conversation along with you today.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Amy Wicks, your host, and here at Simply Wholehearted, we provide perspective, purpose, and plans to help you love God, love others, and live your best life.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Today is another very special episode because after recording over 120 conversations, my husband Spencer finally agreed to come onto the podcast.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And now, for those of you who don't know, my husband is an arborist.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know what that is, well, don't feel too badly.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: I hadn't heard of that term myself until I met him.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Basically, he has a degree in forestry, so he gets to climb trees for a living, run a chainsaw, and then come home with sticky sap all over his clothes, and the occasional harrowing story.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: For certain, I married someone very opposite of me, especially when it comes to the enjoyment of public speaking.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: So it has taken him quite a while to warm up to the idea of being on this podcast.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: So thanks, babe, for coming on the show.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I am so grateful because today's conversation is one a few of you have asked me to talk about, and it's a conversation I think many of you will benefit from listening in on.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Money can be a charge conversation within a household, and even outside of it, of course.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Finances are a topic that we are faced with day in and day out, and it's an issue that has sadly destroyed more than one relationship.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: This is why I wanted Spencer to share his version of our journey to financial peace, because peace and money are not opposite terms.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Financial peace is something I believe everyone can obtain.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: After you listen, it would mean so much to have you share it with your people, especially those who need to hear that they can find a path to financial freedom.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, we're going to have a little Enneagram conversation thrown in for good measure.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're just beginning your Enneagram journey and you need some advice about where to begin, head on over to simply wholehearted.com where you can find my Enneagram Quick Start Guide and my one-page summary, which gives you an overview of all nine Enneagram types.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: This might be a perfect way to follow along on the conversation.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, if you're at my website, you can register for a free 30-minute Enneagram coaching session.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: I have just a few spots left, so grab them while you can.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, and a shout out to Jessamine and Rue for the lovely music you are hearing in the background.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now here's our conversation about finding financial peace.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that means you love me a lot.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: I do.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Not only are you supporting my crazy podcast, but then you actually join me in some of my endeavors.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's right.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: I would actually, again, for the record, like you to do more stuff like this.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: We'll see.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually you'll maybe learn to like it.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, possibly.
• 3:10
  unknown: Okay.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I thought it would be really great.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: Uh uh people very often ask us about our story about money and finances.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, usually it's because we're in a church full of young couples, and money is a huge topic of conversation.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, for most of them, sadly, they're facing money crisis.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you get married young, you have beginning jobs, you start having a family, and suddenly, whoa, the money pressure uh feels really real.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted us to be able to share some of our story.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's something that we've done before here and there, um, partly due to the fact that we lead a financial peace university class in our home.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: But one of the because we talk so much about the Enneagram, and you are subject to conversations about the Enneagram in our home all the time, I thought it would be worthwhile sharing, or you sharing your perspective of now understanding your Enneagram type better and mine, how you feel like that fits into the money conversation that happens in our home on a regular basis.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: Off the bat, because uh from what I've discovered a bit through the Enneagram, I'm not a big fan of uh conflict, and so really, and this is an issue, the issue of money is probably the one of the one of the more potentially explosive uh issues that America's gonna have.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: And so um to kind of keep the peace, I I th I think I tended to back off a bit on the issue of money and didn't really, you know, really take the the bull by its horns in that area.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: And so if we had a stress there, I would probably tend to kind of back off a bit and just make sure that things were running smoothly from a relational standpoint when things might have been pretty turbulent on the financial side.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: And so things when things were stressful, I I think I would just kind of bury my head in the sand if you so Okay, and for the record, you're an Enneagram nine, I believe.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: And they uh There's a question mark to that.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: I was leaving it open-ended.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: There is a are you not sure yet?
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm pretty sure.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, pretty sure.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: And the nine is known as the peacemaker.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: So it's very fitting if you are married to a nine to keep in mind as you um I would say probably a nine and a five in particular are gonna be the most withdrawing when it comes to the subject of money, and this is probably gonna be a little um of a more difficult conversation potentially when you're talking as a couple.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: So what um what on your side of the story, there is kind of a brokenhearted moment that led to our whole-hearted decision um when it came to finances, and I'd love for you to share your version.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sure.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: Well, it was I mean, it was I can remember it pretty vividly.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: I had we had just moved here um to Kansas City.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: To Kansas City.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Had no had no clue financially where we where we sat.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: I thought we were doing fairly well, or you know, obviously we were making our payments and our bills, but really didn't understand.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: You didn't really know.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: I I really didn't fully understand where all of our monies were.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: And why was that for you?
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think I had just kind of taken that passive approach on, you know, understanding where our money went and so it was more like I was I saw it come in.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I was willing to take care of it.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Correct.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: So you didn't.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_01: And you were more administratively gifted in that area than I was, and so I just naturally just thought, well, you've you've got you're gonna do a better job at this than I than I'm going to.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I I actually still think that in a lot of ways.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um I know that in a lot of ways.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: But I also chose to just not fully understand where everything was at with that.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: Primarily because I didn't want to know.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: So it was more of an avoidance.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was more of I I have this fear that there's probably not as much as I hope there is there, and so I'm just gonna ignore it and and just think that it's it is there.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because you'd rather keep your current state of peace.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_01: Things like that really stress me out.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: So we had moved here and I uh you know, I'm in the arbicultural industry and I needed a pair of boots.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think I brought one of the kids to Bass Pro Shop and and we had I had found some boots there.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: They weren't super expensive, but But at the time But at the time, well I I didn't realize that, but I had purchased these boots uh just in actually in actuality needing them, but I purchased these boots, and then when I got home and I told you that I'd bought these boots or showed you, I think I just saw this I don't know, it was a mixture of fear and confusion and desperation on your face and in your eyes, and I was like, oh boy, I really made a mistake here.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: And for me it wasn't that I was trying to figure out how to respond because I suddenly realized he really had no idea.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: You really had no idea where our financial like I didn't feel like I could go spend three dollars for McDonald's dollar menu to take the girls out because we were that tight financially, like we had no zero wiggle room, and buying those pair of boots was gonna like like how are you gonna buy groceries?
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Are we gonna be able to pay the rent?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Well uh, you know, where's the gas money coming come from?
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I realized, you know, not only was it that bad that we weren't communicating, but you really had no idea the situation that we were in.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: And then I felt like I was carrying it all alone even more so.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I didn't want to be that wife who was like, you what, you did it.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so I think I bit my tongue, yeah.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but I could see it in your face.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, okay.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_01: The disappointment and the it was more fear.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: And like, oh boy, shoot in your face.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_01: He has no idea.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: So that really made me wake up and say, All right, we need to take care of this.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: So what um and your memory, what happened next for us?
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think providentially, uh, my aunt and uncle um offered to pay for that course for us shortly after.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so we took it at a local church here in town and uh did it together.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_01: Unknowingly, I think, how impactful that it would be to us at the time.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't think.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_01: We just took it like, oh, uh we we need some clarification in this area, and so this is course is being offered.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: We'd heard of it before, but yeah, because we because I had been listening to Dave Ramsey, I don't know if you had at that point, but I had realized that you know this would be a good thing for us to listen or do, but yeah, I didn't know how to do it without being nagging.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and you hear that a lot with a lot of people say, Well, I've read the book or I I've I listened to them on the radio, right?
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: Things like that.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_01: But there's a lot from taking the course.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, very, very different.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: So that's a really important stuff.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: So they paid for that course for us and we took it.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: It was ten years ago, do you realize that?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: That's crazy.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then it really just started this journey of buckling down and working hard, getting on the same team and really struggling through yeah making things work financially for us.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I think in partnership with the Lord.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: I mean that that's important to it really is important to to point out is this was all in partnership with the Lord.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I think one of the the biggest benefits for me is, and I alluded to earlier, is realizing, okay, not only does my husband have no idea what financial state that we're in, that he doesn't know how devastating it was that he bought the pair of boots, but I was reminded how I was shouldering, I was carrying it alone.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so doing the financial piece while I knew it would be good for us, I didn't I didn't realize how much it would change the communication within our marriage.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize how how much I needed to feel like I wasn't alone and making the financial decisions.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 11:52
  unknown: Yep.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: So I think um actually I know one of the huge benefits because we've seen it in couples coming through the course is that suddenly it's almost it's almost like going to counseling, where the counselor makes you sit there and talk about things that you wouldn't otherwise, but there's safety in it because there's that third party somehow that diffuses maybe some of the emotion where you watch yourself, but these couples come in who are on very different pages or or feel completely different about finances, and they leave the nine weeks having now they're planning their budget together, now they're talking about their goals, they they have a plan of action that they otherwise wouldn't have.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and being ten years into this, it's so and and teaching the course now for two or three semesters, there's nothing more exciting than to see a couple click between the two of them and then start that journey that we went through.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: And we're on the other side of it, but also seeing them kind of start that journey, but seeing the excitement and that yeah, that uh intensity of paying off debt and yeah, the unity that is worth through it.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's pretty awesome because it's really changing your family tree and the legacy that you get to leave behind.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: I I see that now ten years into it more.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was talked about it, and when we're like in the thick of it and we're up to eyeballs, it feels like in our debt and we're not making enough money, you can't you don't think legacy, you're just like, How can I survive?
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, how can I get out of debt?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: But ten years later I go, wow, we get to leave such a different legacy for our kids.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: Our kids are learning, yeah, not getting not only getting to experience a different lifestyle, but they get to learn about a different way of living.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's pretty cool.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, what was the hardest thing as we made the transition to live the more live like no one else, so someday we can live and give like no one else?
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: The the course does a pretty good job of just laying things out very specifically.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: Plans of action, kind of some steps to move forward to begin the journey, but uh the hardest part is just doing it and sticking to it.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: You it's hard it's really hard to stick to it because you get discouraged over time and you just want to give up and say Yeah, usually about the halfway point.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you just want to buy whatever it is you wanted to buy, or something everyone ha kind of has something in their mind.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: They're like, I'd really love to have that.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Just drop it.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: With its clothes or you know, some sort of luxury or tool or something.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_01: But it's sticking with it, and that end goal or that vision needs to be more important than that thing.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Um and over time over time through habit your your desires change.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: So that's what I've noticed.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um it gets easier and easier and easier.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: And almost the ironic thing is the almost the more money you have as you've kind of gotten further on in the journey, the less of those things you want.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Which is kind of weird.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I think for us we we value things differently than we did then.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's where you learn this patience and to put aside the immediate gratification.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: And as you put that aside, you grow more content.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: You either uh become miserable or you grow more content.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Like those are the two options.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like you could be miserable through the whole process, or you can ask the Lord to help you um be more content through the through the journey, and then you come on the other side of it not only with freedom, but then your desires have been I think altered in the process.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Totally, totally.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think it's a a spiritual growth too in the process of just wanting things less.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you know.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: So what were some of the things that you saw, because we talk about this journey with the Lord, that it wasn't just you and I and financial peace and a greatly great curriculum, but we saw the Lord do some really cool things.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it just seemed like every at the end of every month we would always have extra.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we were just shaking our heads of where this money came from.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: Which is really odd.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: So there was just a lot of months.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: I mean a lot of months where it was just we had enough to put a bit of that extra debt.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: So he definitely blessed us in that area, and sometimes I can't explain why, but or how.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: But he did.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_01: And so and that was encouraging along the way to see those moments of of blessing that thought, all right, we're on the right track.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, the affirmation, kind of the wink and the nod from the Lord of like, keep going, you guys got this.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: I we started something that we started doing in the whole process was writing things down.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And um, it's interesting to note that as a three, an NA gram three, when we're stressed, we have um a bad habit of taking on some of the more unhealthy qualities of a nine where we avoid as well.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: And so my way of avoiding in a lot of these hard times was to just not keep a good track of our budget.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: Was to, I was looking at it, but I wasn't writing things down, I wasn't balancing anything, I was just paying bills and then sort of hoping, crossing my fingers, that we were gonna pay everything.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: And so, but because of Dave Ramsey, I faced, you know, I even though I was still stressed, I like was gonna pull in and tap into my Anneagram 3 and go, okay, no, I'm gonna do this right, I'm gonna do this with excellence, I'm gonna see this as a challenge, and I'm gonna face this challenge head on instead of joining the negative nine attribute and burying my head in the sand.
• 17:42
  SPEAKER_00: So we started writing things down.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: And that was such a testimony because instead of avoiding and not looking and not writing it down, even though I didn't want to write it down, even though it felt like it might be negative, we started writing it down.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_00: And because of that, yeah, we were able to track like these incredible blessings, going, Whoa, you know, someone paid for this trip, yeah, someone bought us a meal, yeah, someone, and so we just wrote down all the little things, all the little, you know, side gifts of money for whatever reason, or or even like, you know, Randy and Donna buying us the course and writing that down and and seeing that as added income um and a blessing from the Lord.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I also think tithing was a huge part of it.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 18:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I've heard someone say before that when you don't have enough money is when when you should be tithing.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:38
  SPEAKER_01: Not not be tithing.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's when you uh when you're giving something that's important to you and offering it to the Lord is when he shows up.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, the widows might.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_00: I I really think, and I don't think it's uh a prosperity gospel message, but I think it's a biblical pr principle and how the economy of God works is that you give what he's asked for, which is nothing.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Ten percent is nothing out of the bounty that he's given us.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it's still sometimes like I go, oh man, what we could do with that.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: But then I'm like, why would I even want to it wouldn't go far.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_00: It wouldn't, it wouldn't do what it is that I think that I want it to do, but willingly offering that to the Lord, and um everyone has unique convictions of what that looks like for us.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: It looks like giving it to the local body of Christ, to the church, um, wherever we call home at that time.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: And then trusting God that we're gonna have more than enough.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_00: And in these 10 years, He's never failed to prove that to us that we've always had enough.
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_00: Even even in the months where maybe we had to get creative, he showed us how to get creative, or a last minute blessing came through and and we were able to pay what we needed to pay.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: In the end, why was it worth it for you?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: How would you articulate why going through financial peace, why going through the painful process of eating beans and rice and doing all the hard work to pay off of debt?
• 20:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, why was it worth it?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think my ultimate or my original fear was that I wanted less stress in that area.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, but it was out of avoidance and neglect.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: But now having kind of dealt with that that tough part of discovering where our money was going, what we needed each month.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: Uh we've kind of come from from my I mean, if we're talking about anneogram number, this is a it's it's it's so important for me to kind of feel a piece there.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: And so we've we've come to that peaceful place, or I have more of a peaceful place because we had kind of we kind of dealt with it, and now we're kind of on the other side of it.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think I still would have been if we wouldn't have dealt with it.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: I don't even know kind of where we would be if we hadn't I don't know either gone through this course and because now our expenses are higher than ever.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_00: Like we have some some challenging things um that have caused I like just to throw out like medical bills for us.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it is daunting when I crunch the numbers, but it's not a problem.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like the Lord has provided enough and it's not stressing you or I out, yeah, because we've seen him provide in the past and we just have this piece that we're it's gonna be okay, like we're gonna have enough.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_00: And then we're able to talk about it, and it's not like it's not this huge argument.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_00: Or that we're having to choose, you know, for for us it's kid related, we're having to make a tough decision of not being able to take care of our kids' needs because we're not sure where the money's gonna come from.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's a game changer.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, for um for our church recently we were asked to share a little Testimony video, and for both of us, we felt generosity was something that we wanted to speak to, and and something that we feel really passionate, especially as we share our story with others and um share continue to lead financial peace.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_00: So what would you what would you say to generosity and what you would want to share?
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, generosity is the kind of one of the one of the end goals of this this course.
• 22:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it is.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: And really for our our legacy as well.
• 22:31
  SPEAKER_01: Not only do we want to leave money to our children to bless them, but we also it's just it's just fun to be generous.
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's it's you know the old adage of uh it's better to give than receive.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: Um it's it's better for the soul to to be able to give than it is to to get something.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um it it it just it it may give a short-term satisfaction, but it's it doesn't last.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: Um we all need things, we all want things, and that's fine, but yeah, and it's it's it's really fun to be able to give to somebody who doesn't have enough.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: So um that that's one of the goals of of this.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's I mean, no better way to practically show your love for Jesus or your relationship with the Lord than to have a willing a willingness to to give your finances.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, yep.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_00: Um Yeah, because the motto of financial peace is live like no one else, so someday you can live and give.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_00: Like no one else, and I think that's really key.
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's not about being able to own all the toys and you know, like, oh, what can I buy with this new financial freedom?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's really what can I give with this newfound financial freedom.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you can't you can't be generous with what you don't have, and so we had, you know, through this journey we've had to um partner with the Lord to to make money to be able to give the money.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: So if you if you don't have it, you can't give it.
• 23:57
  SPEAKER_01: And so we've it's fun to be able to have a little bit extra now and and be able to give it away, and it's it's incredibly rewarding.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's so good.
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I've got a a question that I didn't prompt you on, but speak to the person who's listening, um, most likely a woman, because uh that's how most of my friends are listening out there, but what if she's married to someone who doesn't want to talk about it or who's not ready to join her with financial peace or begin a journey that would lead them to financial peace?
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: How would you encourage her from like the husband's point of view of what she can do?
• 24:38
  SPEAKER_00: Because I certainly was in that position before, um, because I was ready to do financial peace way before you were.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_00: How how would you encourage her on to hope and and where could she begin in this financial journey on her own?
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, f for for sure, the first thing you'd want to do is pray for 'em.
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's probably no more powerful way to change your husband's heart on something than through than through praying about it.
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I would for certainly start there and then just open the conversation about it and don't expect something to change right away.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: I would give it time.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I know my personality type lends itself towards, you know, I want to and and and and others do as well.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_01: You wanna I think men a lot of times wanna think that they came up with the idea, you know?
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: Not necessarily the originator of the idea, but they need to be able to, you know, process in their mind that they formulated this idea or they came up, you know, not necessarily uh I'm sorry, not necessarily came up with the idea, but they they kind of have some ownership over the the idea and the decision and the decision-making process.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because I think most men do want to lead their families.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: Um certain personality types are stronger than others.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: Mine's a little more passive, but I st I still want to lead our family well.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I can do that in certain ways, but it just may not look like another family might look.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: So, um, but I also want to really come to the conclusion that I had uh really thought through an idea before I express it maybe to you.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_01: So maybe just kind of start planting those seeds to your husband.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_01: This is something that's important to to you as a wife or mother and to a you know, a a partner in the family.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_00: And uh yeah, because I think it came in through time.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_00: I read the book, I think I left the book out, talked about listening to the Dave Ramsey show.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know, there was like little things along the way.
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I I think it is really important to note just personality types, me as an assertive and you as a withdrawing, it is important to make sure that I don't, in my assertiveness, bombard you with a bunch of information and push, push, push.
• 26:51
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and to let you find in the withdrawing stance the process, let your, you know, yourself process through it before you arrive to it.
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_00: And give and I have to give you that time to process through it in order to arrive at a healthy conclusion instead of feeling forced.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you had felt forced going into it, I'm a little resistant, but I think it would have been a little bit harder at first.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: I also needed that moment of realization of man, I I've got to deal with this in life, you know.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_01: I need to and really it's a it's a it's just a growing up.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: Maturity.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's a maturity.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_01: And surprisingly, there are so many that just don't want to deal with something like this.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_01: But it's so important to to get a grasp on it.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm I am not the I would I would say you know, great with money.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um I just needed to I just needed to deal with it at a certain time.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_01: And uh it I think the Lord was working on my heart for a long period of time and it just came down to that that boot moment of where I had to say, alright, this is it, and I need we need to do something with this.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm so glad you did.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: Me too.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: Now I just get it.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: And thank you for being willing to share.
• 28:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you're welcome.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because I know this isn't your favorite thing, but it's not, but uh it's an important enough message that I think it's it's good to to to talk about it.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_01: And our story is gonna be very similar to a lot of other stories.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: And other stories may be more dramatic and uh, you know, but I think the Lord's gonna show up in every one of those stories.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_00: So and it's gonna be the life change you desire.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_00: Didn't Spencer do a fabulous job?
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I had a video recording of the conversation.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: It was obvious we were both moved as we revisited some of those tough moments and the miraculous victories.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_00: I pray that if you are in the place we were all those years ago, you will find a financial peace class near you and get signed up today.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_00: It will be one of the best decisions you've ever made.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're married and your spouse isn't quite on board yet, then keep praying, keep reading, and perhaps leave a few hints along the way.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you haven't yet joined Simply Wholehearted on Instagram, then hop on over to Chime In for the Enneagram conversation as we talk about Enneagram types and the struggles and strengths associated with finances.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_00: Hey, and while you're at it, would you leave a five-star rating on iTunes or your favorite podcast app so others know they are welcome here and what to expect in our conversations.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: Next episode is going to be one with another family member who you've heard from once before.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: My oldest daughter, Paige, who leads as a Type 7, is sharing about how the Aneagram has benefited her, and I'm giving some insight on how it can encourage and strengthen our motherhood.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_00: I know this is yet another conversation you'll want to pass along to others.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_00: So, until next time, let's invite others to join us as we pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for a simply wholehearted life.