Latest / Enhance.training / How to Work with an Insecure Boss & 5 Actions of Insecure Managers

Transcript

How to Work with an Insecure Boss & 5 Actions of Insecure Managers · Enhance.training

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Working with an insecure boss can be very bad news for your development, your happiness at work, and your career progress if you don't know how to handle a situation.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: It is easy to find yourself on the end of put downs, criticism, and undermining when you don't know how to work with an insecure boss.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: Even worse, when you are doing a really good job, you are much more likely to run into trouble with an insecure manager.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: A very competent senior manager I have been coaching recently has an insecure boss.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'll call him Dave.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: The relationship between Dave and his boss had hit rock bottom.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: They were barely talking.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: Dave's boss kept criticizing and shooting down Dave's plans and ideas.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: The boss kept Dave away from the other leaders in the organisation.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Dave felt undervalued, attacked, and very unhappy.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: Dave made a number of very specific changes to his approach to his insecure boss.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: In a short space of time, their relationship has become a lot more positive.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Dave's boss is starting to compliment and praise.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Dave is now being supported rather than attacked.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: Dave is getting permission to implement more of his ideas and plans.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Dave is a lot happier and planning to stay rather than leave.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: The point of the story is that most people's natural reactions to being treated poorly by an insecure manager are to respond in kind, to interact less, to think poorly of their boss.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: All of which makes everything worse for them and their boss.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: To improve the relationship and to reduce the tension and issues between you and an insecure boss, a specific counterintuitive approach is what is needed.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: So you can build a great and productive relationship with an insecure boss.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm taking you through.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: Five classic signs or actions of insecure managers, and then five actions to take to gain the support and trust of an insecure boss.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: The stronger and better your relationship with your boss, the more benefit you personally get in terms of support, autonomy, access to better development opportunities, increased pay and bonuses, and earlier promotion.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Not to mention you'll feel less stress, be a lot happier, and have much higher psychological safety and job security.
• 2:26
  SPEAKER_00: Take proactive action today to improve your situation with an insecure boss.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: You are going to be the biggest winner.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, let's cover five classic signs or actions of insecure managers.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing the signs, you can quickly spot an insecure boss and take action that will improve rather than damage your relationship with that boss.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, insecure managers will try to exert a lot more control over you and your work compared to a confident boss.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: In short, not encouraged to think or act independently of your boss.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, insecure bosses are usually overly concerned about what others think of them.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: They often do what is best for their popularity rather than what is best for the team or business.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: Thirdly, insecure bosses talk themselves up, often at the expense of others.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, insecure bosses are often quite critical of others and don't praise often.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: Putting others down makes them feel better and lowers the perceived risk of others outshining them.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth, insecure managers often prevent team members' access or interaction with their own peers, more senior staff, or even co-workers in other parts of the business.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Controlling the relationships and the flow of information makes them feel more valuable.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: This is not an exhaustive list, yet covers the most likely signs that you have an insecure boss.
• 4:15
  SPEAKER_00: If your boss starts taking any of these actions with you, don't take it as a personal attack and respond negatively.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: A negative approach is not in your best interests.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Instead, take five key actions to reduce the threat your boss perceives, which I'll share in a sec.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Jess Coles.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new to this podcast, Enhance.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: I've included links to additional resources in the podcast description for how to manage any boss more successfully and how to market the great work that you do more effectively in any organisation.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Do take a look at these.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Here are the five best actions I know for how to work with an insecure boss to gain trust and greater autonomy quickly.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: The five actions are firstly, play to your boss's needs, secondly, be an ally, not a rival, third, give them a sense of control, fourth, make your boss feel and look good, and fifth, build and manage your own reputation.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Each in a little more detail with practical examples and tips so you can put them into action quickly.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: First, when you have an insecure manager, play to your boss's needs.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: Understand what makes them feel insecure.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: What actions or language trigger their defenses or negative reactions?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: What actions or language create positive responses?
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: Experiment as every manager is different.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: Sensible practices include avoiding challenging them directly or criticizing ideas or plans directly.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: Instead of saying I don't agree or I don't think that will work, use indirect questions.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Or I'm confused, I thought a similar approach was tried four months ago, which resulted in major cost overruns.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: What makes this plan more likely to come in under budget?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: Position your disagreement or challenge as an indirect question that gives them the chance to educate you.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: The second action to work with an insecure boss is to be an ally, not a rival.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Do not try to compete with your boss or prove that you are good at what you do.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Focus on creating a partnership where you both succeed together.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Two approaches to try.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, link your ideas and suggestions to their ideas.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: I really liked your idea to ABC, so I explored it further and as a result came up with XYZ.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: Are you happy for me to implement the solution?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, link your ideas and suggestions directly into how it helps them look good.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: I analyzed all the sales data as you suggested and discovered that if we do XYZ, we should be able to reach your target of 1.2 million in sales for this month five days earlier.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_00: Would you like to speak to the team about this, or are you happy for me to?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Create a partnership approach with your boss.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: The third action to win over an insecure boss is to give them a sense of control.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: The more you involve your boss and give them a sense of control, the more relaxed they will become and the more trust you will get.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, over-communicate what you're working on and how progress is going.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, make them feel included by giving them plenty of opportunity to give input and feedback to you.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Third, seek their opinion and their approval for your plans and actions regularly.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, tell them who you are working with and talking to outside of the team.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth, schedule at least a weekly one-on-one meeting with them so you spend time working with your boss and discussing your work and ideas and solutions directly with them.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: Work to ensure that you're giving your boss a sense of control.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: You'll gain a lot more freedom as a result.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: The fourth action for working with an insecure boss is to make your boss feel and look good.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: The better you make your boss feel, the more they will trust you and the more autonomy you will get.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: Give them positive feedback about what went well without sucking up.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: Reaffirm their good ideas, decisions and actions and be very careful when talking about the poor ones.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Communicate to colleagues outside of the team what your boss is doing well and their achievements in a matter-of-fact kind of way.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Help your boss hit goals and targets, particularly the very visible ones.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: In short, do everything practical and sensible to make your boss feel and look good.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: The fifth action when working with an insecure boss is to actively build and manage your own reputation.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Insecure managers rarely shout other people's praises or communicate what their team members are doing well.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Make the time to build relationships outside of your team, with your boss's peers and with leadership team members.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: When speaking to these groups, give them updates on what you're delivering and how the team is progressing.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: Drop into the conversation your achievements and results.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Offer and provide them help when opportunities arise so they can see you in action.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: In short, proactively look after your own reputation.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: Working very successfully with an insecure boss is knowing what to do and using these approaches in a considered way.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: You absolutely have the skills to start doing each of these actions successfully.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: The more you practice, the better and more natural each of these actions will become.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: So, in summary, learning how to work very successfully with an insecure manager will make your life at work a lot happier, a lot more rewarding, and a lot more professionally successful.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of managers have some level of insecurity, yet managers are just as human as everyone else and are under more pressure and scrutiny.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: As a quick recap, the five actions to win the trust and confidence of an insecure boss are firstly, play to your boss's needs.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, be an ally, not a rival.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: Third, give them a sense of control.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, make your boss feel and look good, and then fifth, build and manage your own reputation.
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to take a look at the resources in the podcast description to learn how to manage any boss more successfully and how to market the great work that you do more effectively in any organization.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: If you have any questions on the five actions of insecure managers and how to work with an insecure boss, please email me at support at enhance.