Latest / The Parenting Podcast / The DIY Parenting Playbook: Teach Life Skills That Stick (pt. 1) | Epi. 132

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The DIY Parenting Playbook: Teach Life Skills That Stick (pt. 1) | Epi. 132 · The Parenting Podcast

• 0:06
  Have you ever thought that daily routines could double as life lessons for your kids no matter their age from how to manage time effectively?
• 0:19
  To how to make a meal, or understanding the value of money.
• 0:24
  There are countless ways to weave practical life skills into your home that they will use throughout their adult lives.
• 0:34
  Welcome to the Parenting Podcast.
• 0:37
  I'm Sheryl Lange, your host, and today with a spotlight on the teen years, we're going We're exploring how to integrate practical life skills into your home in easy and often overlooked ways.
• 0:51
  So grab a cup of your favorite brew and let's dive in.
• 1:03
  Cheryl: Well, Christy, you are now an empty nester.
• 1:06
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 1:07
  Cheryl: Sound more enthusiastic about it, Christy.
• 1:10
  Christie: I think I'm
• 1:10
  Cheryl: still in shock, but yes, yes.
• 1:12
  Cheryl: Well, what I'm excited about is what you're getting ready to do.
• 1:16
  Cheryl: your cookies.
• 1:17
  Cheryl: You're going back to cookies.
• 1:18
  Cheryl: Oh, yes, yes.
• 1:19
  Christie: I am excited about it.
• 1:20
  Christie: It's, it's a fun thing.
• 1:21
  Christie: I used to do the, uh, fancy royal icing sugar cookies and, um, I haven't done it in years, and so I was kind of exploring what to do next, you know, with all this free time I've got with all my kids being grown, so yeah, I'm excited.
• 1:36
  Christie: I haven't done it in years, mainly, a big reason is, you know, two of my girls have since been diagnosed with celiac, so I couldn't have flour flying around my kitchen.
• 1:46
  Christie: And so I needed time to perfect my recipe to be gluten free.
• 1:49
  Christie: So yeah, back at it.
• 1:51
  Christie: My mom's
• 1:51
  Ellen: here to be a tester.
• 1:52
  Ellen: Okay, okay.
• 1:54
  Ellen: From now on I'll be
• 1:54
  Christie: the official sponsor of our recording.
• 1:57
  Christie: Treats to share.
• 1:58
  Cheryl: And also it's different.
• 2:00
  Christie: social
• 2:00
  Cheryl: media wasn't the presence that.
• 2:03
  Cheryl: It is now
• 2:04
  Christie: Yeah, I'll definitely be utilizing that to get the word out.
• 2:07
  Christie: I'm still working on name, logo, all of that stuff.
• 2:10
  Christie: You're going to be
• 2:11
  Cheryl: doing videos of Christy in the kitchen.
• 2:13
  Cheryl: Oh, I don't know if I'll be an influencer
• 2:15
  Christie: anytime soon.
• 2:16
  Christie: I'm not really a social media gal.
• 2:18
  Christie: So we'll see how, how much I want to do it.
• 2:21
  Christie: Talk your cookie.
• 2:22
  Christie: Uh, yeah, we'll see.
• 2:24
  Christie: Let's see if I know a, a cookie dance.
• 2:28
  Christie: Do you have a name yet?
• 2:29
  Christie: Not yet.
• 2:29
  Christie: Not yet.
• 2:30
  Christie: Still working on it.
• 2:31
  Christie: But yeah, it's fun.
• 2:32
  Christie: I, I enjoy baking and, uh, it's kind of an artistic creation type outlet for me.
• 2:39
  Cheryl: So did you grow up cooking?
• 2:42
  Cheryl: Like is this an extension of
• 2:43
  Christie: where you work?
• 2:43
  Christie: Well, okay.
• 2:44
  Christie: So I always liked to bake a simple recipe, but as far as Cooking.
• 2:50
  Christie: I wouldn't say I was good at it until I had a family.
• 2:52
  Christie: I had to figure, figure out how to, and then, like I said, when my girls were young, I started making their, their, um, birthday cakes when they couldn't have gluten cakes from the bakery.
• 3:03
  Christie: And so, um, yeah, that's where I started learning to bake and it's, it's been a journey.
• 3:09
  Christie: I enjoy it though.
• 3:10
  Christie: So it's the gluten free that got you into baking.
• 3:13
  Christie: Well, yeah, because you can't just run to the bakery, especially back then.
• 3:17
  Christie: I mean, it's widely available in certain, you know, qualities out there now, but back And it was really
• 3:25
  Ellen: expensive if you could even find it.
• 3:25
  Ellen: Yes.
• 3:26
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 3:26
  Ellen: Yes.
• 3:27
  Ellen: So, that.
• 3:28
  Christie: And of course, they wanted, you know, well, not Paw Patrol, but like little, you know, characters and things.
• 3:33
  Christie: The cutesy stuff.
• 3:33
  Christie: Yeah.
• 3:34
  Christie: Yeah.
• 3:35
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 3:35
  Cheryl: So, it's interesting because.
• 3:38
  Cheryl: You didn't learn it before.
• 3:39
  Cheryl: And I was just thinking about that, how it's changed in school.
• 3:44
  Cheryl: And thinking about whether it's public, private, or homeschooling.
• 3:49
  Cheryl: There's been this huge shift towards total dominance of academic.
• 3:56
  Cheryl: True, yeah.
• 3:57
  Cheryl: That is really true.
• 3:57
  Cheryl: High focus on STEM and
• 4:00
  Christie: academic life, yeah.
• 4:01
  Cheryl: And I can understand the reasons, you know, because scores are down so badly.
• 4:06
  Cheryl: In reading and writing and and math, they're down so much.
• 4:10
  Cheryl: And there's more global competition.
• 4:11
  Cheryl: True, true.
• 4:12
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 4:13
  Cheryl: And how can you justify having a cooking class?
• 4:16
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 4:16
  Cheryl: And car repair and these practical skills.
• 4:20
  Cheryl: Right.
• 4:20
  Cheryl: Life skills.
• 4:21
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 4:22
  Cheryl: If kids are failing in math and reading and writing.
• 4:25
  Ellen: Yeah, it's really hard.
• 4:26
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 4:26
  Ellen: It's really hard right now.
• 4:28
  Ellen: I think in our country, you know, between the pandemic and just what's happening in the school systems in terms of kids getting a good solid education.
• 4:37
  Cheryl: Well, I will say I looked at all my years in schooling, and of course, that dates us very much, but I will say the cooking class I had, I can add to that.
• 4:48
  Cheryl: I can almost think of what her name was.
• 4:49
  Cheryl: She was so old.
• 4:52
  Cheryl: I learned so much.
• 4:54
  Cheryl: I learned my basic skills in the kitchen and cooking basic things.
• 4:58
  Cheryl: And, the second half of the year was sewing.
• 5:02
  Cheryl: Right.
• 5:02
  Cheryl: That's right.
• 5:02
  Cheryl: I forgot about sewing.
• 5:03
  Cheryl: I did that too.
• 5:04
  Cheryl: I've saved
• 5:04
  Carol: a lot of money
• 5:06
  Cheryl: knowing how to sew.
• 5:08
  Cheryl: And then, um, you know, all of that's out the window.
• 5:12
  Cheryl: Nobody Right.
• 5:13
  Cheryl: I can't get that anymore.
• 5:14
  Cheryl: From there, so, it's interesting, a long term friend, she has, I think, her last couple of kids at home, and maybe they're juniors.
• 5:26
  Cheryl: Okay.
• 5:27
  Cheryl: And so, she's got two more years, and she said, got the academic taken care of, so
• 5:32
  Carol: she asked But what life skills, you know, would you equip them with and what would you say, what can I do?
• 5:40
  Carol: What can I add on?
• 5:41
  Carol: So they're prepared to be adults outside of the classroom, right?
• 5:45
  Carol: And it's just what we're talking about.
• 5:48
  Ellen: And sometimes they might be, if you teach your kids some life skills, they might be the ones helping their friends.
• 5:54
  Ellen: Because I'm shocked at how many kids don't know how to turn on a washing machine.
• 5:59
  Ellen: Right.
• 5:59
  Ellen: Don't know how to turn on the oven.
• 6:01
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 6:01
  Ellen: Okay.
• 6:02
  Cheryl: You know, that kind of stuff.
• 6:03
  Cheryl: This is what she was asking, kind of a systematic
• 6:06
  Carol: plan So I started thinking about it and I go, Actually, let's, let's do some episodes on it.
• 6:13
  Carol: No, that's great.
• 6:14
  Carol: what about if we just approach, like, start out with some practical things and then talk about it and then how you could actually do it.
• 6:22
  Carol: Because, like I said, Knowing how to sew and to cook.
• 6:26
  Carol: And then I took a class on um, basic financing.
• 6:31
  Carol: Yeah.
• 6:31
  Carol: So how to balance a checkbook and what savings it was.
• 6:35
  Carol: And, and what, how you use a credit card.
• 6:37
  Carol: Yeah.
• 6:37
  Carol: Besides being able to read and count Those are the things I use a lot more Then what else I learned in school.
• 6:44
  Carol: Yeah.
• 6:44
  Carol: They've impacted my life.
• 6:45
  Carol: Yeah.
• 6:46
  Carol: Yeah.
• 6:47
  Ellen: Because I think that's really important.
• 6:48
  Ellen: That's a super hard thing right now.
• 6:50
  Ellen: I kind of said that a second ago was just that a lot of kids are coming out with maybe strong academics, but they don't know what to do when they get their own apartment, things like that.
• 7:01
  Ellen: They don't know what to, They don't know how to put stuff together.
• 7:04
  Ellen: They don't know how to write a check.
• 7:05
  Ellen: Right.
• 7:06
  Ellen: If anybody uses those nowadays, but sometimes if you have to pay your rent, you do it that way.
• 7:09
  Ellen: Right.
• 7:10
  Ellen: Different things like that.
• 7:11
  Christie: Well, and then sometimes the life skills we need now.
• 7:14
  Christie: People are in an emergency basis.
• 7:16
  Christie: Yeah.
• 7:16
  Christie: Like when something breaks and you need to know how to fix it or a car issue or um, some kind of safety issue, if you've, you don't have time to learn right then.
• 7:25
  Cheryl: Also we would like to equip them so we don't have to, uh, Parent them when they're on their own
• 7:32
  Carol: Yeah.
• 7:33
  Carol: Yeah.
• 7:34
  Cheryl: So if we wanted to prepare them, y'all, what are some areas and what are some ways that you think would be a practical way to equip your children, I would say probably through the teens that a little bit younger, but what are some
• 7:48
  Christie: areas?
• 7:49
  Christie: Well, you mentioned, uh, financially.
• 7:52
  Christie: I think that, I mean, can start.
• 7:54
  Christie: Really young, honestly, that they can start learning to associate work with money.
• 8:01
  Christie: Right.
• 8:01
  Christie: And, and how that works.
• 8:02
  Christie: And then how to manage that money once they have it.
• 8:05
  Cheryl: Very good.
• 8:06
  Cheryl: And, um, I'm sorry, uncle Sam, but our government is not fiscally responsible.
• 8:14
  Cheryl: No,
• 8:15
  Ellen: don't follow their example.
• 8:17
  Ellen: I think
• 8:17
  Cheryl: I saw.
• 8:19
  Cheryl: Soon we will have a 50 trillion debt.
• 8:23
  Cheryl: So the word debt is thrown around as if it were a napkin or something.
• 8:28
  Cheryl: It's just nothing important.
• 8:30
  Cheryl: And so I would say one thing is grounding your children so they understand about debt and the burden that that is and understanding that when you are in debt, you're owned by whoever you owe money to, and just, you're right, the practical thing of how to balance a cheque.
• 8:49
  Ellen: Well, I think finances is a really big deal.
• 8:51
  Ellen: Because, um, without finances, you really can't do much of anything.
• 8:55
  Ellen: If you can't cook, but you can manage your finances, you probably can go out to eat.
• 8:59
  Ellen: Right, that's true, yeah.
• 9:00
  Ellen: You know, or get prepared food.
• 9:02
  Ellen: Hire
• 9:02
  Christie: somebody to do these other things that, yeah, we're going to talk about.
• 9:06
  Cheryl: Well, and what, there's spending money, but one of the ways, I appreciate like that class talked about savings and that you budget not just what you spend, right, but how much you save and then that there are tiers of saving.
• 9:22
  Cheryl: There's the short tier.
• 9:24
  Cheryl: Okay, I'm saving a little bit.
• 9:25
  Cheryl: Then there's Medium and then there's the long term.
• 9:28
  Cheryl: I am saving this right for the future and I don't dig into that Yeah, there's a
• 9:34
  Christie: whole character thing that's happening in your kids too and you're teaching them that when they're having that delayed gratification And they're having to wait for something and yeah Understand that I'm working every day, I'm sweeping this floor and I'm getting nothing out of it for six weeks or you know, whatever, um, we had one thing we did with our kids and I definitely stole the idea from something, but I can't remember what now is we had a family tax to help our kids understand the idea of taxes.
• 10:04
  Christie: And so my husband, I both were laughing one day about how shocking it was when we got that first paycheck.
• 10:09
  Christie: Didn't know why we had a portion of it taken out.
• 10:12
  Christie: So.
• 10:13
  Christie: We started, um, taking out of their allowance, a portion of their allowance and putting it in a little coin jar when they were really young.
• 10:21
  Christie: And then we got to do a fun thing as a family with the family tax and everyone voted on how to use the tax and
• 10:27
  other: it was a neat
• 10:28
  Christie: little experience because they would vote for ice cream or somebody wouldn't want ice cream.
• 10:33
  Christie: They'd want to go see a movie um, but everyone had contributed, and the community had to vote on how to use the money.
• 10:39
  Christie: That's right.
• 10:39
  Christie: I like that idea.
• 10:40
  Cheryl: That's not a parallel with the way we pay taxes to the families.
• 10:43
  Cheryl: Right, right.
• 10:45
  Cheryl: I don't get ice cream back for it.
• 10:47
  Christie: But the feeling of having some, some higher authority take money out of what you've
• 10:51
  Ellen: earned like you said, it is surprising when you get your first paycheck and you go, I thought I earned 100.
• 10:57
  Ellen: I only got 75.
• 10:59
  Ellen: Yes, exactly.
• 11:01
  Cheryl: And then another one, again, we alluded to it about you, is meals and cooking, you know, and we've talked about it before, like, to get your kids in the kitchen, and have them so they're just, um, comfortable, that's it, they're comfortable and they understand about tablespoons and, well, just the basics, uh, I've been, I've Excited because I see my children know how, they're creative with their cooking.
• 11:31
  Cheryl: Because I spent my whole life cooking.
• 11:34
  Cheryl: I mean, you have a big family, you know.
• 11:36
  Cheryl: And so I would pull them in and they would watch me.
• 11:40
  Cheryl: And one of mine one time said, Mom, you just dump.
• 11:43
  Cheryl: You know, because I'm kind of a dumper, like I'm making a soup and I go, what else do I have?
• 11:48
  Cheryl: Oh, that'll taste good with this.
• 11:49
  Cheryl: And just opening up my spice cabinet, baking is different,
• 11:52
  Ellen: Right.
• 11:53
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 11:54
  Cheryl: And so they kind of go, Oh, by the way, Mom, I'm a dumper now too.
• 11:59
  Cheryl: Creatively using that.
• 12:01
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 12:01
  Cheryl: What are some other things you think in this area of.
• 12:04
  Cheryl: Uh, food that we should equip
• 12:07
  Christie: our kids with.
• 12:08
  Christie: Yeah, when I think of my kids, some of them enjoy cooking and some of them just know they need to eat.
• 12:13
  Christie: Yeah.
• 12:14
  other: Yeah.
• 12:14
  Christie: And so I, I think, uh, the art of cooking isn't going to fall nicely on everyone, but like just basic skills of add heat to this chicken until this point.
• 12:25
  Christie: You know, to get the food done.
• 12:27
  Christie: And safety, you know, food safety, those kinds of things.
• 12:31
  Christie: One of my daughters texted me a picture of her chicken the other night and said, does this look done?
• 12:37
  Christie: And I was like, well, the lighting and the filtering on this photo could cause you to have food poisoning.
• 12:42
  Christie: I'm not sure you want to trust a texted photo as validation.
• 12:46
  Cheryl: I love that.
• 12:47
  Cheryl: The complete picture of not, can you fix, you know, a roast beef, right?
• 12:53
  Cheryl: but.
• 12:53
  Cheryl: The idea of food in general, like safety, what you can leave out and what you can't.
• 12:58
  Cheryl: Well,
• 12:59
  Ellen: it's such a fundamental skill, learning how to cook, whether you do gourmet cooking or very simple, plain cooking.
• 13:06
  Ellen: It doesn't matter, but everybody has to eat, right?
• 13:09
  Ellen: And you have to feed yourself.
• 13:12
  Ellen: That's a, that's a life skill.
• 13:14
  Ellen: And boys and girls, men and women equally know how to cook.
• 13:19
  Ellen: In fact, my son's probably one of the best cooks in our family.
• 13:22
  Ellen: He really loves to cook, but one of the things I did by the time the kids got like, older junior high through high school, they were each just signed a day of the week where they were completely in charge.
• 13:32
  Ellen: I love that.
• 13:33
  Ellen: Now, a lot of times I plan my menus out a month in advance, you know, that we had a whole month, so all the ingredients and everything were already in the house, but they just had to take whatever was assigned to Wednesday.
• 13:44
  Ellen: put it together, cook it, make it, and then everybody got an opportunity.
• 13:48
  Ellen: And then I always made sure that I didn't always take all my kids with me to the grocery store, but.
• 13:54
  Ellen: Whoever came, I taught them while they were with me, this is what you look for in the produce section.
• 14:00
  Ellen: This is how you figure out, here's the schematics that show you how much you're paying for that canned good per ounce versus the other one.
• 14:08
  Ellen: And just little things as you're going along so they can use that if they want to and if they don't want to, that's up to them.
• 14:13
  Ellen: But
• 14:14
  Christie: this is the equipping.
• 14:15
  Christie: Yeah.
• 14:16
  Christie: Yes.
• 14:16
  Christie: I think another thing kind of in the same vein that, um, sometimes we forget kids need to learn how to do is, uh, to be a host, like hospitality.
• 14:27
  Christie: Yeah, that's good.
• 14:28
  Christie: You were talking about, you know, them being responsible for the family's meal.
• 14:31
  Christie: There's a feeling of responsibility and of joy when you're providing a meal for someone and knowing how to, you know, invite someone over and prepare something for them.
• 14:41
  Christie: It doesn't have to be fancy.
• 14:42
  Christie: It might just be snacks.
• 14:43
  Christie: Right.
• 14:43
  Christie: But the, the weight and responsibility of making sure, or be mindful of that person as your guest is something that they don't always do.
• 14:51
  Christie: Catch on.
• 14:52
  Christie: You might need to verbalize to them.
• 14:53
  Christie: As a
• 14:53
  Ellen: military family, we were always, that was something we were always able to do, is invite the single guys from the dorm over.
• 15:00
  Ellen: We always, I would say, out of, you know, a week, we at least had three nights a week where someone that didn't belong to our family sit at the table.
• 15:10
  Cheryl: Well, but I tell you, what both y'all mentioned, you said the word hospitality.
• 15:14
  Cheryl: And the thing I think, And I didn't understand that my mother didn't teach me is the difference between hospitality and entertainment.
• 15:19
  Ellen: Exactly.
• 15:20
  Cheryl: And what y'all are telling me is the hospitality of someone coming in.
• 15:23
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 15:24
  Cheryl: And I love that agenda.
• 15:25
  Cheryl: And another agenda that I personally have, because I care about it, is nutrition.
• 15:30
  Cheryl: And so, all growing up, my kids have had so much nutritional education because I loved it, and I wanted to share it with them.
• 15:40
  Cheryl: So, I think that's really important so my children can make
• 15:42
  Carol: informed decisions of how they're going to eat because it affects their life and then they can do with it what they want.
• 15:49
  Carol: Mike is always
• 15:50
  Ellen: saying to me, Mom, you taught us all this stuff and now you're not doing any of it.
• 15:53
  Ellen: I said, I know I'm a rebellious elder.
• 15:57
  Ellen: Do as I told you.
• 15:58
  Ellen: Right.
• 15:59
  Ellen: They're always like, Mom.
• 16:01
  Christie: Well, I think that's a really good thing to talk about with people.
• 16:03
  Christie: And it applies to all of these different skills is we can give them the tools.
• 16:09
  Christie: What they do with them is on them.
• 16:11
  Christie: And I know I remember the first time my oldest came back from living out of state and I still had younger kids that were still under my parenting authority.
• 16:21
  Christie: And she brought in a.
• 16:23
  Christie: 20 ounce soda, which wasn't a normal thing at our house.
• 16:26
  Christie: And the other girls were just looking at me like, do we do that now?
• 16:31
  Christie: She'd been living on her own, you know, so she had these habits and things that she enjoyed and, and they just looked at me and I was like, gave them the eye, like, no, that's not happening.
• 16:40
  Christie: You're seven.
• 16:40
  Christie: You're not getting a 20 ounce soda.
• 16:42
  Christie: But you know, I mean, she takes good care of herself now, but there was, she was exercising her freedom at the time.
• 16:48
  Christie: But yeah, I think all of these things we.
• 16:51
  Christie: We can hand off tools, we can equip them, but they may still text you a picture of their chicken and not know if it's done.
• 16:56
  Christie: And they
• 16:57
  Ellen: may take, your chicken may have a soda next to it.
• 17:00
  Ellen: And that's part of them growing up and making their own decisions on, you know, what they want to do at that point in their life, you know?
• 17:08
  Cheryl: All of this, we just offer it?
• 17:10
  Ellen: Yes.
• 17:11
  Ellen: I didn't do everything my parents taught me, you
• 17:14
  Cheryl: know.
• 17:14
  Cheryl: But what we're talking about, what that mom was asking is, what could I make available to them so they have the tools to decide are they going to do it or not?
• 17:23
  Cheryl: Right.
• 17:24
  Christie: I know one thing for me as I started, um, as our family began be becoming a family and I needed to figure out things was yeah.
• 17:33
  Christie: Just how to organize a household.
• 17:35
  Christie: Oh, yes.
• 17:35
  Christie: Like how to organize my pantry and, and what systems to put in place.
• 17:40
  Christie: Yeah.
• 17:40
  Christie: For laundry days and grocery shopping and, yeah.
• 17:44
  Christie: Um.
• 17:45
  Christie: I think my girls really benefited from doing some of that with me, and it was really because I was learning alongside of them as a young mom trying to figure things out.
• 17:54
  Christie: And so I'd try one system and it wouldn't work, and I'd try another system and it wouldn't work.
• 17:58
  Christie: And so I think, um, it would be helpful to kids to learn.
• 18:03
  Christie: To have those habits and those systems even though they might do things differently in their own homes, but to have a starting place
• 18:09
  Ellen: Well, it's again the skills and the tools in the toolbox.
• 18:12
  Cheryl: Yeah And seeing you talk about having a system I don't see that my mother had a system and then I would ask her let me help you Let me do that and she would say no, it's just easier if I do my right So when I went into my family I didn't have any systems, and I had to create from scratch, and so, particularly I wanted my children to have, uh, if we could equip them with a bigger view, a bigger view of understanding controlling And, and using the things in your home rather than let them control you, you know, and like systematic decluttering.
• 18:53
  other: And,
• 18:53
  Cheryl: like you were saying, how to organize a pantry or not just the cleaning.
• 18:59
  Cheryl: But the actual way that you set up your home and give your children opportunities to go through and get rid of and learn that going through and passing on to someone else and throwing away is how you maintain a
• 19:13
  Ellen: home.
• 19:14
  Ellen: Homekeeping is an art.
• 19:16
  Ellen: And if you teach it from that perspective, other than, you know, Go mop the floor, go do this, go do that, that it's an overall, like we were saying a little bit earlier, there is entertaining and there's hospitality.
• 19:28
  Ellen: Well, there's just clean up and then there's home keeping.
• 19:31
  Ellen: And what you want to do is teach your sons and daughters how to home keep, which means how to maintain things.
• 19:37
  Ellen: How to put things away orderly, how to do laundry in an efficient way, if they want to do it that way, they can, but that's all comes under the home keeping.
• 19:45
  Christie: Well, and it's, it's not a standard of perfection, but in that you're teaching stewardship and gratitude that we're grateful that we have clothes to wash.
• 19:55
  Christie: Yes.
• 19:56
  Christie: Verbalizing.
• 19:56
  Christie: All of that I think is adding in character development in the midst of these really practical things.
• 20:02
  Christie: I mean, here's my true confession, We had what we called the laundry chair for years, and then we had a sock basket, so I didn't even match.
• 20:14
  Christie: So I, it was part of my plan to.
• 20:17
  Christie: Only, you know, do what I had to do to survive and so we had a sock basket.
• 20:22
  Christie: I didn't match socks.
• 20:23
  Christie: All four little girls socks went into one basket and you go find your own socks.
• 20:27
  Christie: And then the laundry chair and I remember, well, that's where all the laundry went.
• 20:32
  Christie: The chair in the living room is where I dumped the laundry.
• 20:35
  Christie: And then, you know, about once a week, we'd put in a movie and all fold the laundry together.
• 20:40
  Christie: But I remember one day, my husband, he worked out of town a lot and he came home and the laundry chair was getting pretty piled.
• 20:46
  Christie: And he said, I'll be back.
• 20:49
  Christie: And he went to Walmart and bought everyone a laundry basket and said, you do not do everyone's laundry anymore.
• 20:54
  other: Everyone
• 20:55
  Christie: does their own laundry.
• 20:56
  Christie: They were all 10 and up at that point and that, that's when I started getting my life back.
• 21:02
  Ellen: Because we did the same thing around 10, everybody did their own laundry.
• 21:05
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 21:05
  Ellen: So, cause I would get so frustrated, I would do laundry and then it would be wadded up in the corner, clean, but not folded.
• 21:12
  Ellen: Right.
• 21:12
  Ellen: But I don't care if I didn't do it.
• 21:14
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 21:14
  Cheryl: Or their, their room is full of clothes.
• 21:18
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 21:19
  Cheryl: That's true.
• 21:19
  Cheryl: And so they just, when it's time to do it, they wash everything.
• 21:22
  Cheryl: Well, this is true.
• 21:23
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 21:24
  Cheryl: I don't want to do that, but if they want to take and rewash everything, you go
• 21:28
  Christie: for it.
• 21:28
  Christie: Well, and that is actually what had happened that day, was I went to start some laundry and something was actually in the hamper still on the hanger.
• 21:38
  Christie: And that was a new level.
• 21:39
  Ellen: Well, most of us can try to figure lots of ways to get out of doing things we don't really want to do.
• 21:44
  Ellen: Isn't that the truth?
• 21:45
  Christie: Well, another area that is definitely near and dear at our house right now is taking care of a car.
• 21:53
  other: Yes.
• 21:53
  Christie: You know, car maintenance.
• 21:54
  Christie: My youngest daughter just bought her first car.
• 21:58
  Christie: So we are all fully, fully, uh, you know, fully, uh, fully, uh, fully, uh, fully, uh, Vehicle ized?
• 22:02
  Christie: Vehicle ed, yes.
• 22:03
  Christie: In our family.
• 22:04
  Christie: It means you got your car back.
• 22:06
  Christie: Yes, exactly.
• 22:08
  Christie: My husband actually took the leadership on this.
• 22:09
  Christie: I wouldn't have really been as diligent as he was, but it's been really important to him that all the girls buy their own vehicles and know how to take care of them.
• 22:18
  Christie: And so I'm really glad he, he did that because it, it is, it is a lot of work.
• 22:22
  Christie: It's important for even girls and boys to know how to take care of a vehicle and how to work hard to save for it.
• 22:29
  Christie: Yes,
• 22:30
  Cheryl: unless you know you're always going to have a whole lot of money that you don't mind paying somebody else to do it.
• 22:36
  Cheryl: Right.
• 22:36
  Christie: And good self service, not on the side of the road, and you know, there's just times that you need to know how to change a tire, even if you can hire somebody to do it.
• 22:43
  Cheryl: Even To be hiring someone to know that they're reliable and what they're telling you is legitimate to have enough awareness.
• 22:51
  other: I
• 22:51
  Cheryl: remember when I took my first driver's ed class, my dad, it was a big brown Chrysler, I don't know what it was, took me out to the garage and opened it up and started showing me what the different parts of the engine were, explaining me, showing me how to do the dipstick, da da da.
• 23:08
  Cheryl: Mm hmm.
• 23:09
  Cheryl: And he even showed me how to change a tire.
• 23:11
  other: Mm
• 23:12
  Cheryl: hmm.
• 23:12
  Cheryl: Um, I've never had to do one all by myself, but I had an awareness, and I felt safer.
• 23:21
  Cheryl: I felt equipped even though I've never done it.
• 23:24
  Cheryl: Um, and I think it's so good, I heard this summer, I think one of the community colleges or something, somebody sent their high school student to a camp.
• 23:34
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 23:35
  Cheryl: And it was great.
• 23:36
  Cheryl: Equipping with these things, like car maintenance, basic plumbing, basic carpentry skills.
• 23:42
  Cheryl: So it wasn't at a Votek Center, which those are great too, but this was actually a camp where you could go and learn all these skills.
• 23:49
  Cheryl: I thought that was brilliant.
• 23:50
  Christie: No, uh, Tim taught a class for teenagers one semester.
• 23:54
  Christie: He alternated with another person that did or financial, uh, class.
• 23:58
  Christie: And then on the off weeks he did.
• 24:00
  Christie: Home maintenance, how to patch a sheetrock hole, you know, and car maintenance and things like that, because you just never know when you're going to need to know some of those kinds of things.
• 24:11
  Christie: And
• 24:11
  Ellen: it's hard, really, just mostly with car maintenance, because now most new cars are designed so you can't Do anything.
• 24:17
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 24:17
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 24:18
  Ellen: You know, I mean, they really are.
• 24:19
  Ellen: there's a problem.
• 24:19
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 24:20
  Ellen: You know, you might be able to change your oil, but it's not like the old days, like you were saying, she, when your dad opened it up and he could explain everything and you could possibly do some things if you needed to.
• 24:30
  Ellen: So that, but they just need to be aware.
• 24:32
  Ellen: Check your oil gauge.
• 24:34
  Ellen: Right.
• 24:34
  Ellen: Yeah.
• 24:35
  Ellen: You know, check, you know, make sure to know what their tires should be.
• 24:38
  Ellen: Most cars nowadays will tell us that.
• 24:40
  Ellen: But those are things they can do,.
• 24:42
  Ellen: That's true.
• 24:42
  Ellen: But to at least
• 24:43
  Christie: be aware of what cars need.
• 24:44
  Ellen: Yes.
• 24:45
  Ellen: Like oil.
• 24:47
  Ellen: And anti freeze.
• 24:48
  Ellen: Uh huh.
• 24:49
  Cheryl: When my children have bought their first cars, they were older.
• 24:52
  Cheryl: Yes.
• 24:52
  Cheryl: Right.
• 24:53
  Cheryl: So that, there was a lot more, plus there was a lot more to be repaired.
• 24:56
  Cheryl: Right.
• 24:56
  Cheryl: Right.
• 24:57
  Cheryl: It was hilarious.
• 24:57
  Cheryl: So.
• 24:58
  Cheryl: I know both my sons wish they still had this car.
• 25:01
  Cheryl: My son's first car was an El Camino.
• 25:05
  Cheryl: Oh, yeah.
• 25:06
  Cheryl: Okay, which is a collectible car now.
• 25:09
  Cheryl: He paid six hundred dollars.
• 25:12
  Cheryl: Oh my goodness.
• 25:13
  Cheryl: And so he was replacing and doing things on it and had to replace the brakes, I believe.
• 25:19
  Cheryl: And I remember he was out there working on it, doing it.
• 25:22
  Cheryl: This is when you could do work on your car, but I mean his learning curve was huge.
• 25:27
  Cheryl: But he looked at me
• 25:28
  Carol: and said, Mom, I can't believe it.
• 25:32
  Carol: I paid six hundred dollars for this car, and I'm having to work on it And I just smiled because you have no idea.
• 25:42
  Carol: Right, right.
• 25:43
  Carol: Okay, so this has just been practical, but hoping we could stir up some ideas and Have our kids leave home
• 25:52
  Ellen: confidently so that they can at least survive, you know, that they can move out
• 25:59
  Cheryl: right.
• 26:00
  Cheryl: Or just that we have done our job as parents, you know, I can't do it for them, but our job is to equip.
• 26:07
  Cheryl: All right.
• 26:07
  Cheryl: So these were kind of practical.
• 26:09
  Cheryl: What about if we come back in next time and talk about non practical skills?
• 26:15
  other: Yeah.
• 26:16
  Cheryl: The other areas and ways we want to help equip our kids outside of academics.
• 26:21
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 26:21
  Cheryl: That sounds good.
• 26:21
  Cheryl: Yeah.
• 26:22
  Cheryl: Okay, good.
• 26:23
  Cheryl: Sounds good.
• 26:23
  Cheryl: So parents, remember.
• 26:25
  Cheryl: Hang in there, keep loving, keep persevering, because it's worth it.
• 26:35
  Imagine the ripple effect of embedding these kinds of skills into our children's lives.
• 26:42
  Not just while they're living with us, but throughout their entire adulthood.
• 26:49
  Looking back on my own experiences, I can honestly say I am thankful I took those practical skill classes rather than another math class.
• 27:00
  Now, consider how you might weave these practical life skills into your family's daily routine.
• 27:08
  It could be as simple as involving your kids in planning a family menu, or budget, or letting them organize the groceries in the pantry.
• 27:20
  I'd love to hear how it goes.
• 27:22
  Share your experiences with me at contact at theparentingpodcast.
• 27:26
  com or go to our website or on social media.
• 27:31
  Your stories and ideas can help inspire others.
• 27:36
  Together, let's make parenting a more enriching journey for us all.
• 27:42
  Hey, thank you for tuning in to the Parenting Podcast, and I can't wait to connect again with you soon.