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Tracer Rounds Welcomes Veteran Scott Hyder · Military Broadcast Radio | MBR Talk

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you are on target. MBR giving veterans a voice.
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And we're back on the Tree Surrounds podcast and we're on
1:17
military broadcast radio where we're giving veterans a voice.
1:20
And tonight's voice is to Scott Heider and he is with the he's
1:25
the founder of Hidden Battles Foundation.
1:27
Welcome, Scott. Thanks for having me Terry.
1:29
I appreciate it. You're welcome.
1:32
I'm so glad that you reached out and I'm so glad to have you on
1:35
the podcast. And I know that you're an Army
1:37
veteran. Can you tell us a little bit
1:39
about your service? Yeah, so I did 10 years between
1:42
active and reserves. I started off at infantry and
1:45
then I became a combat engineer and I did a bunch of
1:49
humanitarian missions. So when I went in, and I went in
1:51
1991 and I got out in 2002. And so at that time global war
1:58
and terror didn't start. So we were doing a lot of
2:00
humanitarian missions. I did humanitarian missions in
2:02
Panama and in Kenya. I also was deployed to the
2:07
Balkans during the Balkan peace, I guess the conflict.
2:11
So K4, that was in 2000. So I am a, a veteran of foreign
2:18
wars, which I, I don't know how that works 'cause it wasn't a
2:20
war for us, it was more of a, you know, peacekeeping mission.
2:24
So, but I mean, it's still classified the same.
2:27
So. Yeah, exactly.
2:28
I mean, it's just, I, I, I can relate to a lot of stuff with
2:31
the global War on Terror guys. And then there's stuff I can't
2:33
relate, you know, it's just one of those things.
2:36
But we're all veterans and we all speak the same language and
2:39
we enjoy the same culture, so there's Alpine right there.
2:43
Definitely. So why did you decide to join
2:45
and why the Army? So I joined because I grew up in
2:48
a veterans projects in Boston and listening to the vet, the
2:53
Vietnam Veterans, you know, they would sit there and they weren't
2:56
talking more stories. They were talking camaraderie.
2:59
They talked about their service. And, you know, I, I, I say that
3:03
we live vicariously through the 10% of the great stories and
3:08
great experiences we had. The military, we're like 90% not
3:12
so great or even could be great. But you know, we live through
3:16
those where we joke around a lot about the, you know, the
3:19
miserable times we had or we laugh about the, just the
3:22
shenanigans that we did or the misfit stuff that we did.
3:26
So hearing the stories from the Vietnam vets about, you know,
3:31
the great stories and brotherhood that they, you know,
3:34
they experienced. And then my father was a, he was
3:37
a mental health clinician for the VA for 36 years.
3:40
So I grew up going to the VA hospital and seeing World War 2
3:45
and Korean War and Vietnam vets and, you know, just, they were
3:48
superheroes to me, you know, seeing these guys.
3:51
So I always looked up to them. So then when I went in, when I
3:55
turned 17, my parents signed so I can become a split up.
3:59
And I was going to go into the National Guard as an infantry
4:02
man and I got in Poison Ivy so bad that they actually sent me
4:06
home from basic training. So I got a general discharge.
4:09
Yeah. And then it took me forever to
4:12
get that general lifted because it said general and it's a
4:17
health or medical. So I had to go get medical
4:20
screens and sign waivers and everything else because of the
4:22
fact that I would just cover it head to toe in Poison Ivy.
4:24
So when I went back in, I went in as a reservist, but I was
4:30
like I said, I've done so many humanitarian missions.
4:33
I would go on, you know, deployments for months at a
4:36
time. And then eventually, after 10
4:39
years in the Balkans, I had sustained a neck injury that
4:42
ended my military career. So yeah, so I got out so.
4:47
How did it shape how you see community and how you see
4:51
service to others? Well, it was amazing because the
4:56
fact that I grew up very poor. You know, like I said, I grew up
4:58
in the projects. But when I was going to other
5:01
places like Kenya and I was working on, you know, as a
5:04
combat engineer, we built schools and we are fixing
5:07
churches and we're trying to bring water and electricity to
5:09
certain villages and to see how people lived with absolutely
5:13
nothing, you know, where I thought I had nothing.
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It was very humbling to me and it made me appreciate a lot of
5:19
things that I did have because they're a third world countries
5:22
where they think just because you're an American, you're rich
5:25
and quite honestly compared to them, you are, you know, but
5:28
they live very humble. They live very simple because
5:31
they don't know any different and they're not complaining
5:33
about the Wi-Fi being down or they're not complaining about
5:36
not having the newest Jordans. Like, you know, you're dealing
5:40
and you're walking around with kids that literally have flip
5:43
flops made of tire treads and rope, you know, So that was
5:47
humbling to me and it made me appreciate a lot of the stuff
5:50
that I had here in America. So when I did get out, I wanted
5:54
to give back to my community. I wanted to, you know, show
5:58
people that we should be proud of where we are and we should be
6:01
proud of what we have. So I became a police officer and
6:05
I spent 19 years as a police officer.
6:12
So and then I end up retiring and it like it, it changed my
6:20
perspective on so much things because I love helping people.
6:23
Even when you know, like in the military, you when you start to
6:27
lose faith in humanity, right? Like if you're on deployment or
6:30
you're just and you just like have not had enough of people,
6:34
something will always reel you back into humility.
6:36
So like with say, for instance, you know, you're in war-torn
6:40
Afghanistan or Syria or whatever and you've had enough of the
6:43
locals and then you see that smile from that little kid who's
6:46
waving and just wants, you know, to give you the thumbs up or
6:48
something and it brings you back.
6:51
You know, it just it, it's a mental reset, I think.
6:53
So that's what it was with me being a police officer, you
6:57
know, I would deal with somebody who was screaming at me because
7:00
I was giving him a ticket, you know, or I know I see an old
7:03
lady waving at me in traffic. So I was like, all right, this
7:06
is great. And I wanted to give back.
7:07
And I wanted to show my appreciation for being, you
7:10
know, a resident of the greatest country on the planet.
7:13
So I just wanted to give back. And when I got when I became a
7:15
police officer, I was heavily involved in community policing.
7:18
I used to do bike rodeos and I would do helmet checks and write
7:21
grants to get car seats and get helmets for kids because I just
7:25
thought that we should invest in our future and, you know, build
7:28
that relationship between police and, you know, the residents.
7:33
And the same thing with, you know, with the military.
7:36
You want to try to build those relationships because you don't
7:39
want to be, you know, a perception of who you are and
7:42
what you are. You know, I mean, people call
7:44
that in Vietnam and they were coming home.
7:46
They're calling baby killers and they weren't welcoming at home.
7:48
And that didn't happen. Thank God to the Global War on
7:51
Terror because of thanks to the Vietnam vet.
7:53
So you know, when they come home, my organization, we have
7:57
so many different activities that we're trying to show them
8:00
that it is, you know, it's good to come home.
8:03
You know, it's good to be here and to have that positive, you
8:06
know, little sub community of veterans and 1st responders to
8:10
join into because we understand you, you know, you're not on
8:13
Lonely Island. And we find that with a lot of
8:16
veterans who are, you know, guardsmen of National
8:20
Reservists, where they've been deployed so many times during
8:22
the Global War on Terror, that when you have a 1920 year old
8:26
kid who comes home from his deployment, he has nothing in
8:29
common with any other 19 or 20 year old that he's been friends
8:32
with. So that's true.
8:34
We're there to pick up the slack when he's between drill
8:38
weekends. He doesn't, you know.
8:39
So I don't know if I answered the question, but I went on a
8:43
good rant there. No, you did answer my question.
8:47
You know, service to others. I think a lot of our military in
8:51
general have that mindset. I mean, there may be some that
8:54
that's not their focus, but by and large, I would say people
8:58
that serve want to serve and want to serve others.
9:01
And like you said, sometimes you get tired and you're like, man,
9:05
what am I here for? Like, you know, nothing seems to
9:08
be going the way it should. And, and, you know, you're kind
9:11
of mentally exhausted. And then someone gives you that
9:14
little, like you said, wave or smile, and then you're like, OK,
9:17
I can do. It it's all right.
9:19
You know, and it resets that like you said, the mental state
9:23
into that service attitude. So I think we really.
9:26
Did answer it, Yeah. I mean, because a lot of the
9:28
reason that we join, I mean, let's face it, there are people
9:31
who join the military to get a better life.
9:33
I mean, they may not, they may be in poverty, They might just
9:35
their home life is not the best and it is an opportunity for
9:38
them to get away. But in a sense, when you get in
9:42
there and you become part of that military fraternity, you
9:47
start to put others before yourself.
9:49
So you start to care about the people that are around you, and
9:53
that's realistically becomes the mission.
9:55
Now the mission is to, you know, protect your brothers and
9:59
sisters in arms, you know, the foxhole mentality.
10:02
And I think when you get out of the military, you start to lose
10:07
that. Like, where is that now for a
10:09
lot of people? For some people, they transition
10:12
very well. You know, they get out, they go
10:14
into, you know, they find a job that they're really good at and
10:17
they find, you know, peace and that.
10:18
But there are a lot that don't they get out and they're kind of
10:21
on lonely Island. They, they're surrounded by
10:23
people who really don't get, you know, their humor.
10:25
Like we have really dark humor and that gallows humor, but
10:30
mannerisms are different. Our habits are different.
10:34
Worth ethics are totally different where, you know, if we
10:38
don't know the job, we will learn the job when we become
10:40
very proficient in the job. So it's hard, but you know, to
10:44
to get that humility back and to to find that center of why are
10:49
you here? You know, it's your task and
10:51
purpose. Like I'm here to be better for
10:53
everybody by being a better me. And I think that's what a lot of
10:58
people don't understand. You know, what are you here for?
11:02
In a sense, it's you know, what's what's make a better
11:04
impact and let's find what you you know, your mission is so
11:09
it's another answer. True a lot.
11:11
Of a lot of people don't really understand or don't really find
11:14
their purpose and maybe until later in life.
11:16
And they're like, Oh yeah, this is what I was meant to do.
11:19
I wish I would have known it sooner, you know, because they
11:21
struggle trying to find where they fit in, especially after
11:24
they leave service or they leave public service for that matter.
11:28
They're so used to giving and they're so used to being in that
11:30
environment. And then when they leave and
11:32
retire, or, you know, maybe they have to medically retire for
11:35
some reason, they kind of lose their focus there too, or their
11:39
sense of purpose. It's like, what am I here for?
11:41
I I did this job and this is what I know and now, now what do
11:45
I do? Yeah, reinventing yourself.
11:48
Yeah, reinventing yourself is it's it's a challenge and
11:51
there's, there's a huge post retirement suicide rate when it
11:55
comes to 1st responders because it's their identity, you know, I
12:00
mean, realistically there's only a couple professions that you're
12:04
introduced to as when you go to a cookout.
12:08
Dr. police officer or, you know, a veteran.
12:12
And we get that like it's like, oh, you know, you go to a thing,
12:15
it's like, oh, here's Scott, Oh my God, he just got back from
12:17
deployment. Like nobody ever says like, oh,
12:20
here's Frank, he's an accountant.
12:22
Like nobody does that. And when they do something like
12:25
that, it could actually, it could be something where it's a
12:28
little on edge, but I know like, and I pick on firefighters
12:31
because I have a lot of friends of them.
12:33
But you know, how do you tell a firefighter isn't a rum?
12:36
He'll tell you we're a police officer.
12:38
You know, we make up reasons. And we I will tell you for
12:41
years, I told people I was a Penguin trainer because I didn't
12:44
want to hear, I didn't want to hear cop stories.
12:48
And I literally, because my daughter, I used to go to the
12:50
aquarium all the time with her. I would take pictures of
12:52
Penguins. And when people like, you know,
12:53
on a Penguin train, I'm like, yeah, I wouldn't.
12:54
I flipped through my my photos and I'm like, oh, look, yeah,
12:57
this is like P37 and what? He's on rehab.
13:00
He's coming home. You know, it would make up these
13:01
stories because I didn't want to hear the cop stories.
13:04
I don't want to hear how you got a ticket for speeding and, and
13:07
the cop was mean to you. Like, I just didn't want to hear
13:09
it anymore. So, you know, when you get
13:13
somebody who comes home, maybe they don't want to be recognized
13:17
as, you know, sometimes thank you for your services.
13:21
It's awkward for veterans. You know, it's like, all right,
13:23
it's just I did my, I did my thing.
13:24
And they don't realize because we don't put ourselves on a
13:28
pedestal and say I'm the greatest person that ever lives,
13:31
unless you're a Navy SEAL, you know, but you'll sit there and
13:35
and it might be a little awkward, but when you're at the
13:38
company of us, we're just going to give you crap.
13:40
Like we all, it's just like, you know, motor pool or it's, you
13:43
know, cleaning your weapons or it's in, it's just us, you know,
13:48
trying to feel like that we belong again.
13:51
And like I said, some people transition very well, but some
13:54
people miss that. They miss that camaraderie.
13:56
But like you said, you know, what am I here for?
13:59
And some people when they become dads, they're like, this is the
14:02
reason I'm on the planet, you know, because I want to be a dad
14:05
or I wanted to be a mom. That was the reason.
14:07
And they find that. But when task and purpose is
14:09
missing, yeah, it's hard for people, you know.
14:13
It definitely is. I had a chief tell me, yeah,
14:16
Fire Chief, by the way, tell me that, you know, he goes make
14:19
sure you make friends outside of the profession so that when
14:23
you're out of the profession, that's not all that that you
14:26
have to. Associate.
14:28
With, you know, you need to find friends that don't know anything
14:30
about the fire service or know anything about this thing or
14:32
that thing. So that way you have a diverse
14:35
experience and and you can relate on another level besides
14:39
just having, you know, your fire click or your police officer
14:43
click or your veterans click. You just need to be able to, you
14:47
know, communicate with others and understand how they work and
14:50
understand something else besides the job.
14:53
And so I thought that was really great advice.
14:56
Yeah, you definitely need a disconnect.
14:59
I didn't really. I wasn't.
15:01
It wasn't because I wasn't liked.
15:03
I didn't really have too many friends.
15:05
I was friendly with everybody like that.
15:07
I didn't really hang around with too many people outside of work
15:11
that I worked with. And it wasn't because I didn't
15:14
like them. It's because of the fact that
15:15
I've always separated the two just because I, when I left
15:20
work, I left work, you know, I wanted to be home.
15:22
I never wore my uniform home. I wasn't that guy that, you
15:28
know, was like constantly wearing a thin blue line sticker
15:31
or anything on my car. Like I wasn't that guy.
15:34
And it wasn't that wasn't proud of what I did.
15:37
I just, I like the disconnect of it.
15:40
I mean, I loved helping people and I always went above and
15:43
beyond for those who I served. But when I was off work, I was,
15:48
I was off work as best as I could possibly could.
15:50
I learned that if I saw something that was criminal, I
15:55
became a really good witness. I was not the police officer.
15:59
Like I'm like, oh, this is what I saw 100%.
16:02
This is everything and even to this day, like I am not Scott
16:05
the cop. I am Scott the retired guy.
16:08
You know, I'm now I'm the founder hitting battles and
16:10
that's what I introduced myself with.
16:11
But I just always made myself a really good witness.
16:15
I was not, you know, I wasn't drawing down and somebody
16:19
driving like an idiot in traffic.
16:21
Like, I was like, Oh, no, this is what I saw and good luck to
16:23
you, You know, But there are those guys and girls that live
16:29
and bleed and, you know, for the thin red line or the thin blue
16:33
line. But there's got to be a
16:36
disconnect. And, and that's what your mental
16:38
health is going to tell you. Because realistically,
16:42
statistically wise, the normal person goes through about four
16:45
to five traumatic events in their life, like the normal
16:48
person. And it's usually a family death.
16:50
So you're going to see your parents die, you know, maybe
16:53
loss of a child or a spouse or whatever.
16:56
But first responders and veterans, we go through so many
16:59
traumatic events that the normal body's not supposed to be able
17:02
to handle that, you know, So when you think about, think
17:06
about how many as in fire service or police, think about
17:09
for the, for the audience, think about the traumatic things you,
17:12
you've seen. And half of the time you don't
17:14
even remember until something triggers it or somebody's
17:17
talking about like, Hey, remembers that time we went to
17:19
that call and you're like, oh man, I completely forgot about
17:21
that. Something that nobody ever would
17:24
forget about. You know, I went when I first
17:27
started, I was wrong on late nights and I went to a triple
17:30
fatal on a highway that I completely forgot about until I
17:35
was driving through it the other day 23 years ago.
17:39
And I'm like, oh, I completely forgot about that.
17:41
And not no normal person does that.
17:44
So you need to disconnect from that.
17:47
And when you don't disconnect and you don't process it, it
17:49
brings on a lot of a lot of problems later on you.
17:54
Know that's true and and I was talking to another first
17:58
responder retired first responder and he was saying the
18:01
same thing He was like, you know, we're always on edge
18:05
because we never know what's next.
18:07
You know, I always feel like I have to be on and I can't like
18:10
take it off. Like if I'm in a restaurant or
18:13
somewhere, I'm looking at exits, I'm looking at people and just
18:16
kind of people watching, just making sure everything's fine.
18:18
It's not that I'm on the job, but my body tells me I'm on the.
18:22
Job. I'm on alert.
18:23
So your high, high state of alert really kind of wears on
18:26
you after some time because you're always waiting for the
18:30
next thing. Because he was saying you go
18:32
from one call that's a speeding ticket to a call that's a
18:35
shooting to a call that's maybe somebody in a medical distress
18:39
or, you know, mass casualty event of some kind.
18:42
And so you never know what you're going to get in an
18:44
evening. It could be all those things.
18:47
So that's that. Like you said, it's a bunch of
18:49
traumatic events all strung together in the matter of maybe
18:52
an 8 hour shift. Yes, absolutely.
18:54
Yeah. Just think about it.
18:56
I mean, you, you have, you have a fear of being ready, right.
19:01
So when you, when you're in the Firehouse and you're washing
19:03
the, the the vehicle and you're waiting for the next call to
19:06
come in, you really don't know what it's going to be.
19:09
And the same thing with the, you know, being in a cruiser, you're
19:12
literally, and it's not even you go to dispatchers too, but ER
19:15
nurses. Like there's a lot of people who
19:17
experience this trauma where, you know, we're we're always on
19:21
edge because of the fact that we want our bodies to be ready.
19:25
You know, we're in idle mode in a sense, like the engines
19:27
running and we're just waiting to push that gas and go and do
19:30
what we need to do. But you have to find when you
19:34
can turn the key off and sit in the garage and relax.
19:37
And a lot of people find different things to do that,
19:40
whether it's running or going to the gym or yoga or journaling or
19:45
listening to music or reading a book.
19:47
That is your disconnect. And a lot of people like, I
19:50
can't do it. It's very easy to do because
19:52
when you're out running, you're not mind's not thinking about,
19:56
you know, you know, is there going to be a car crash in front
20:00
of me? You're not thinking of that.
20:00
You're thinking about what's my distance?
20:02
What song am I listening to? You know, the left, right, left,
20:05
right process of your feet hit in the ground, which is like
20:07
EMDR in a sense, you know. So that should be a disconnect.
20:12
You should have hobbies, you should have something that draws
20:15
your attention away from that hyper vigilance.
20:18
Which is funny because battle mindset it's called.
20:22
And it's great when you're at work and it's great when you're
20:25
in theater, but when you come home, it's not good anymore.
20:29
And that's where do we, where do we process it?
20:32
And how do we process, how do we shut it off?
20:34
And that's that's a challenge. Yeah, I I agree For those that
20:39
are in that, in that world day-to-day, it is hard to figure
20:43
out how you turn it off and then associate with your family and
20:47
friends and and be somebody different out of the uniform.
20:52
So, so you're certified in question persuade, refer suicide
20:57
prevention and critical incident stress management.
21:01
So how did you transition to that?
21:03
Is it because of military service?
21:05
Is it because police service or how did you find yourself in
21:08
those certifications and in those roles?
21:12
So you, you completely rebooted when we were we were talking.
21:16
I only caught the end of that question.
21:18
That's all right. So what was the full question?
21:20
Sorry. So I know you're certified in
21:23
question. Persuade and refer.
21:26
Yes. Suicide prevention and then
21:28
critical incident stress management.
21:30
How did those certifications come about?
21:32
What roles did you serve in to have those credentials and how?
21:36
Are you using? Them.
21:37
So this is this is kind of a long winded one, if you haven't
21:40
noticed already. I like to talk, but there's
21:43
backstories to everything, right?
21:44
So what what influenced me to do what I'm doing So threw a string
21:51
of traumatic events to myself. One of them was the loss of a Co
21:56
worker who had taken his life and then two years later my
22:00
brother had taken his life. Then I I was the first on scene
22:05
to two homicide suicides. One I was directly related to
22:11
because the individual tried suing me civilly over a
22:15
motorcycle crash and didn't win. So at the end of the week he had
22:21
maritable problems and he ended up shooting his wife and I was
22:25
the second person through the door on that call. 2 weeks later
22:29
a 91911 hang up it happened and I was went through the the door
22:34
and discovered the murder of a 16 year old and the suicide of
22:39
the of the dad and he had shot the mom.
22:43
But we end up saving the mom so a lot A whole string of things
22:46
that happened to me and I was suffering but I didn't realize
22:50
that I was just on edge. I was a miserable person trying
22:53
to keep it clean for you. And what happened was when I had
22:58
retired and so I had been in a cruiser crash that had ruined my
23:04
career because I had suffered a spine injury that limited my
23:08
left hand for mobility and I was unable to qualify with my
23:14
weapon. So I actually medically retired
23:17
out. So when that had happened to me,
23:21
I had literally been someone who was very active in my department
23:27
who I was constantly called off duty to ask me questions because
23:31
I was a traffic officer and I specialized in commercial motor
23:34
vehicle and I was on multiple task force.
23:39
So I would constantly get calls throughout the days and stuff
23:42
from my fellow officers asking me questions like, you know,
23:45
what can I do with this truck or whatever to being completely on
23:49
Lonely Island. When I went out on injury,
23:52
nobody called and checked on me after the first week, nobody
23:56
cared. And I went from, you know, today
23:58
a hero, tomorrow zero. And that really started to
24:02
become traumatic for me because there I am, you know, now all my
24:08
mental health is it's caving in on me.
24:10
And I decided to figure out what was going to work for me now
24:16
with a neck injury and had some surgeries and stuff.
24:19
I started putting on weight. And one of my friends who was in
24:22
the Army with is very fit, owned a gym down in Baltimore, called
24:26
me up. And he said I'm not going to
24:29
quote them, but he said I look like a bag of stuff and told me
24:34
I had to do something about it. And it was the tough love I
24:35
needed. So I said, well, I got, I got a
24:38
broken neck. What am I going to do?
24:39
He's like, your legs work. And I said, yeah, he goes, we'll
24:41
stop walking. So I was like, all right.
24:44
So at the time I had I had a son and I threw him in my rucksack,
24:49
my army rucksack. And I started walking with him.
24:51
And my son was, you know, a toddler.
24:53
So I would put him in my rucksack and I would go for five
24:57
miles. I would walk the, the river loop
24:59
around my house. And I started to feel better.
25:02
So my wife noticed that I started feeling better.
25:06
And she started saying, you know, like you, you're feeling
25:08
better, you look better, you're being more productive.
25:09
And I was like, yeah, it actually it's working for me.
25:12
So I put out on social media now.
25:14
This is what I want people to pay attention to.
25:19
So back in 2017 when this happened, unfit for duty was a
25:25
real big thing for first responders.
25:27
And I was afraid to put out because I didn't know if I was
25:31
retiring at that point. I didn't retire for another two
25:35
years. I thought and every fiber my
25:38
being, I thought I was going back to work and I did not want
25:41
to put out anywhere that I was struggling.
25:45
So what I did is I went on veterans pages on Facebook and I
25:48
said, this is who I am and this is what I'm going through.
25:51
And I'm finding that rocking is helping me.
25:53
You know, join me if you're in the same boat.
25:56
So after six weeks, I had about 20 veterans showing up at
25:59
rucksacks. Meet me at this, at this nice
26:02
park across the street from an ice cream place.
26:04
And we would meet and we would sit and we would do like a 5K
26:07
rock. Then we'd come back and we'd sit
26:09
for hours just talking about nothing.
26:11
We'd talk about movie quotes, music.
26:14
We'd tell stories about the funniest things that happened to
26:16
us in the military. And I was feeling better.
26:21
And my wife had said to me, she goes, you know, you wanted to do
26:24
something for your brother because my, like I said, my
26:26
brother's a retired corrections officer who had taken his life.
26:29
And I said, yeah, she goes, let's start the scholarship
26:32
forum. So being somebody who worked a
26:34
lot of different shifts, I don't sleep well at night because I've
26:38
trained myself to stay up. Because when I was a commercial
26:41
motor vehicle guy, I would stay up and I would work from 7:00 at
26:44
night to three in the morning because I would do the the
26:48
paving trucks. I would do like long haul Rd.
26:50
trucks and stuff. So not sleeping well at night.
26:53
One night I was reflecting on my brother, and I was thinking,
26:57
like, what could I have done? I've missed the signs.
26:59
Like I had intervened twice with him, but I needed to find out
27:03
more. I wanted to get more and educate
27:06
myself more so that I could help people, not go to the pain I
27:09
went through. So I was sitting there one night
27:14
and I said, you know, my brother was fighting some hidden battles
27:16
that nobody saw. And I was like, that's it.
27:18
That's what we're going to do. I'm going to start a foundation
27:20
in his name and I'm going to carry on his honor and I'm going
27:23
to make it so nobody, you know, I try to deter a lot of people
27:26
from, you know, going through what I'm going through.
27:30
So we started doing that and we just started doing rocking and
27:32
then we started building off it. But I constantly would meet
27:36
people who said the same thing, like how could I miss this?
27:40
So that actually got me into the world of suicide prevention.
27:44
It wasn't just me trying to create a community for like
27:47
minded people to be involved anymore.
27:49
I wanted to make it so that when I talked to somebody, I could
27:53
give them signs and symptoms. I could tell them these are,
27:56
these are the ways you should ask, you know, this is the way
27:59
you should have a conversation. And I would like to guide them,
28:02
you know, and I'm not a clinician.
28:03
I'm just a guy who it's just me, you know, I'm, I'm a guy who
28:08
just is like every other guy, hopefully, you know, but I'm not
28:13
a doctor, I'm not a clinician. I'm just a person that can talk
28:15
to people. And I wanted to do that.
28:18
I wanted just to give people layman's terms, easy
28:22
conversation on how to talk to people and, and just get the
28:25
information out of them and make it so that when you do ask those
28:29
questions, you're not horrified. You can actually go to the, you
28:33
can go now and encourage them to get help.
28:35
And that's what QPR is the question.
28:36
Persuade and refer. So when I found that program,
28:40
I'm like, this is perfect. This is what we need.
28:41
And we started to, I got certified so I could start
28:45
teaching those classes because as first responders and
28:48
veterans, we think that we can talk to anybody.
28:51
And some people can, some people can sell, you know, a ketchup
28:54
popsicle to a woman, white gloves.
28:56
Some people can't talk to anybody.
28:59
And it's just simple dialogue. And then a lot of people are
29:03
afraid to ask the tough question because they don't know what to
29:06
do with it, you know, because if you ask somebody, plain and
29:10
simple, you should be asking them.
29:11
Are you thinking of killing yourself?
29:14
Because if you say, are you thinking of harming yourself,
29:16
that could be somebody who's a cutter, you know, but you, you
29:19
need to just ask them, are you thinking of killing yourself?
29:24
And, and at that time, if they say yes, you should be prepared
29:27
for the next step. And a lot of people are afraid
29:29
of that, yes. So they won't ask.
29:34
Well, some people, you know, I went to a class too on suicide
29:37
prevention that the Army was putting on in my one of my the
29:41
unit I was in. And one of the questions or one
29:44
of the fallacies, I guess that they were or the myths they were
29:47
trying to debunk is if you ask somebody if they're going to
29:51
commit suicide, it's not going to make them do it.
29:53
If they were going to do it, they already were.
29:55
It has nothing to do with your question.
29:57
So just just putting because people think that I'm putting
30:01
that in their head if I. Say.
30:03
Are you thinking of committing suicide or you think of, you
30:05
know, killing, harming yourself or killing yourself or any of
30:08
that? They think, oh, well, I'm going
30:09
to, I'm going to put that idea in their head.
30:11
I better not ask, but truly, if they were already thinking that
30:15
way, you know they're going. To.
30:18
Answer with yes or or no, but you're not going to that.
30:21
That isn't going to influence that decision they've already
30:23
made. 100%, yeah. There's nothing you're going to
30:26
say by inquiring, you know, that's going to trigger them to
30:32
go. You know what I am?
30:34
I mean, you should be careful with your words.
30:36
I mean, if you sit there and you're talking to somebody who's
30:38
struggling, you shouldn't say anything of like, you know, you
30:42
could have it worse, like they shouldn't be because I will tell
30:45
somebody all the time. And I've dealt with this with a
30:47
lot of people and we talked offline about it.
30:50
You can't minimize anybody's struggle.
30:52
It's their struggle. You know, what may affect you
30:56
may not affect somebody else the same way.
30:59
And it's a lot of it's perspective.
31:02
So I got into schism, critical instance stress management,
31:06
which is debriefings after a traumatic event, car crash,
31:09
house fire, they bring it all together and it's almost like an
31:13
after actions report with the military.
31:16
What you do is you get everybody's perspective and when
31:19
you actually get to tell your perspective on something, one,
31:23
it's unloading that stress from you because you have de stress
31:26
and debrief, right. So a lot of people don't
31:30
understand like they'll, you know, especially for example,
31:34
when I went to that murder suicide of a 16 year old, I
31:39
thought I was the only one hurting like because of what I
31:43
saw. And I found it like it came in
31:45
as a 911 hang up. And then when I, I opened the,
31:47
the bedroom door and I found what I found when to hear other
31:51
people's perspective of things that I didn't see.
31:53
At one point I got mad because one guy froze and I was like,
31:56
get out of the room, what are you doing?
31:58
And I didn't put into perspective of the fact that he
32:00
had the same age daughter and his daughter was friends with
32:03
her. And until I had that debrief and
32:07
got the perspective of that, I was like, wow, because here I'm
32:11
thinking at first, who's this guy to be upset?
32:13
Like I'm the one who found them and I didn't understand, did not
32:18
minimize what he was going through because it was a
32:20
different perspective and it affected him differently.
32:22
And that's what good thing about SYSM is, is you get to see
32:25
everybody's perspective. And you'll also get to hear
32:27
another point of view where people go, oh, I didn't even see
32:30
that I had tunnel vision or whatever.
32:33
So that's what got me into SYSM after putting that into
32:38
perspective, thinking, OK, other people need to know what other
32:42
people are going through because it's shared trauma at this
32:45
point. You can process it a little
32:47
different. And when you walk in through the
32:49
hallway and you see them, you're like, all right, that guy, he
32:51
went through some shit. Oh, sugar, do the same thing,
32:55
you know, so and it's good for healing it.
32:58
It's good for, you know, reducing animosity and like
33:04
inter department turmoil. So, you know, so that's really
33:10
what got me into that. And it's just a means of helping
33:13
people process trauma because I think of a lot of the time is we
33:17
don't know how to process trauma.
33:18
We think, you know what, I'm going to put it down deep.
33:21
I may go to the bottle, I might go to the gym, but you're going
33:24
to eventually have to deal with a lot of it because eventually
33:27
like a backpack, the more weight you put in that backpack, every
33:30
trauma is a Pebble. Eventually you're going to have
33:33
a full backpack of trauma that you've never taken care of.
33:37
That's true. And that's what the
33:39
conversations that you know, we try to have with people on.
33:43
Let's unload some of that. It's not.
33:45
You don't have to unload it all at once, but let's start to
33:48
reduce some of that weight on your, you know, before it breaks
33:50
you. That's really good advice
33:53
because you're right, people that just store it away keep
33:56
storing, keep storing. Eventually it's going to boil
33:58
over. You can't keep putting things in
34:00
there without taking something out.
34:02
Yep, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.
34:04
So what does Hidden Battles Foundation actually like?
34:08
Who is it for? What does it do?
34:11
How does somebody partner with you or how do they get engaged
34:15
with it or ask for services? So we, so we are 100% volunteer
34:21
at nonprofit. We serve Southern New Hampshire
34:25
up to the Lakes region and we also serve Massachusetts in the
34:28
Merrimack Valley area. We do about 100 events a year
34:32
and it's activity driven. We call it activity therapy.
34:35
We're not therapeutic, but it's there.
34:37
It's therapy because being around other people is proven to
34:42
be a a therapeutic source of reducing stress.
34:47
So we're like minded individuals.
34:49
We do everything from kayak trips to couples cooking
34:54
classes. We do art therapy, equine
34:57
therapy, fly fishing, yoga, meditation.
35:03
We do so many different things because not every shoe fits
35:07
every foot. And what we want to do is we
35:09
want to use those activity to draw you into our community
35:12
where you'll actually meet new people and you can start to
35:15
build a support system and make friends and have something to
35:18
look forward to. You know, we've got a group of
35:20
like a subculture of Marines that come to only certain events
35:24
because they know that these other Marines that they met are
35:27
going to be there. We have people that come to our
35:31
events from all over New England.
35:33
We actually did a equine retreat and we had a Navy veteran from
35:39
Maine come in and we had a Navy veteran from the Cape come in
35:44
and they had never met each other.
35:45
And we did a sunset hike. I'm sorry, sunrise hike.
35:48
And while we're all talking, one sailor said to the other sailor
35:52
like, oh, where were you on, you know, what vessel were you on?
35:55
And what you doing when they were like, I'm a Bolson's mate
35:57
will be about you. Oh yeah, I was communications.
35:59
Oh, what vessel? And they're like, oh, the boxer,
36:02
you know, like I was on the boxer.
36:03
When were you on the boxer? And it turns out they were on
36:05
the same on the boxer at the same time, but they had never
36:09
met. And I was like, this is great.
36:11
So the purpose of us and not by design.
36:14
By design. It was me to have activities for
36:17
people to get out and try to find a new outlet for their
36:20
trauma. And I didn't realize that
36:22
organically we were coming into a community of like I said, like
36:27
minded people to where now we have we have the Hidden Battles
36:31
web page and the Hidden Battles Facebook page.
36:33
We have a group called the Hidden Battles group where it's
36:36
designed for people to share events that are veteran and 1st
36:39
responder friendly. And you asked who we serve.
36:42
So we serve dispatchers, we serve police, fire, EMS,
36:47
paramedics, and trauma medical nurses.
36:51
So basically 911 to the ER. We also serve veterans, National
36:57
Guard, reserve, and current military.
37:01
So if you ever raised your hand and swore an oath and we take
37:04
care of you, we don't care about your disability, your discharge
37:07
status. I don't care if you, you know,
37:09
you have a dishonorable discharge.
37:12
We might ask why because certain reasons.
37:15
But when I was in the stuff that I did, I would absolutely
37:20
probably be in jail for now in the military because it is
37:22
totally different now being in the military in the 90s compared
37:25
to being in the military's in the 2000s, Totally different.
37:31
But that's who we serve. And we also, we have programs
37:34
that are designed for, like I said, the spouses or even a
37:38
support person. We have a police officer who
37:40
brings his, you know, teenage son to some of the cooking
37:42
classes because it's a bonding moment for them.
37:45
And that's what we want to do. We want to get them out of the
37:47
element of normalcy. And we want to create maybe a
37:50
buzz or something that's going to pique their interest in
37:52
something that whether it's fly fishing, fly fishing is very
37:55
therapeutic, but it's something that somebody might try.
37:58
But if you don't like fly fishing, you have no desire to
38:01
do fly fishing, you know, you might go, oh, wait, they have a
38:04
flower, you know, a bouquet making class.
38:07
I'm going to try that. So we have so many different
38:10
things because we want people to try new things.
38:13
We want them to, you know, peak an interest that'll actually,
38:16
like I said, we'll get them out of that mindset of being hyper
38:19
vigilant. You know, you can't really
38:21
concentrate on something new if you're hyper vigilant.
38:25
So it's you swap the two for a little while.
38:28
So do your events costs and who puts them on and how does
38:32
somebody plug in? Do they just go to the website
38:35
and just? Ask to.
38:36
Join or what's the process? Yeah.
38:38
So everything we do is free. Some events are more expensive
38:42
than others. So we might ask you for a
38:44
deposit and it's only a $10 deposit.
38:46
And the reason this is because mentally, if you have any skin
38:50
in the game, you're most, you're more likely not to bail on it
38:54
then you would if you don't have anything.
38:56
So we do stuff with some, some minor League Baseball teams up
39:00
here in the Northeast. So we'll ask for like a $5.00
39:03
deposit on a ticket that'll get you, you know, your free meal,
39:06
your ticket. And it's not much, but most of
39:09
our programs is $0.00. All the money that we get, I
39:13
said it's like I said, we're 100% volunteer.
39:16
I write grants. We have a lot of sponsors,
39:19
corporate sponsors, banks, individual donations.
39:24
You can donate right on our website, but if you want to get
39:27
involved that you want to join any of our things, you go to our
39:30
Facebook page or our web page, Hidden Battles foundation.org or
39:34
off his Facebook page, which is Hidden Battles.
39:37
You can go there and you can see it all listed, the events and
39:40
all you have to do is when on it'll say here's a link to sign
39:43
up and you just sign up. And we just asked the courtesy.
39:47
If you can't make it, let us know so we can backfill that
39:49
spot. Right.
39:52
And so is it Hidden Battles foundation.org?
39:55
Is that what you said? Yes, it is.
39:56
I'm going. To put that in the chat so
39:58
everybody can take advantage of the programs if they're in the
40:04
area, because you said it, it is, it's based on a region that
40:08
you're able to. Help those veterans that are
40:10
first. And I mean if you we have
40:12
people. So we do an event called the 22
40:14
for the 22 and it's a 22 K rock and it's we do it at Newfound
40:19
Lake in New Hampshire. And what we do is we put it out
40:24
and that see that event is a fundraiser for us.
40:27
It funds a couple of our other events and it's $25 to go.
40:31
And we've had people from all the way from North Carolina come
40:34
up to that event. So we don't turn anybody away
40:38
even. And I will tell you first, a lot
40:39
of our stuff, we have people who want to be involved, but they're
40:42
not first responders. So what we do is we tell them to
40:45
volunteer, you know, volunteer for setup and then you hang out
40:48
for the event. We have a lot of people that do
40:51
our culinary program. So what they do is they
40:53
volunteer, they help with all the prep work and everything
40:57
else. And then if we don't have people
40:58
show up, well, they jump into the spot.
41:00
So no money's being wasted there.
41:02
So there is, like I said, I don't turn anybody away.
41:07
And I find a reason for like to eliminate the nose.
41:10
Like I can't do it because it cost money.
41:13
That's why our stuff is free. And I know as a first responder,
41:16
if you want to do anything with your family, that means you have
41:19
to work overtime or detail. And it's, it's kind of, it's
41:23
kind of counterintuitive because now you're going, I want to do
41:28
something with my family, but I have to take time away from my
41:30
family to afford to do something with my family.
41:32
So that's why we don't have anything cost anything.
41:37
We have people that don't have licenses or they have, you know,
41:41
they have brain tumors and they can't drive because of seizures.
41:44
So we actually work with another nonprofit that'll pick them up
41:47
and bring them to our events. So that's, you know, we
41:50
eliminate every no, I can't do it.
41:52
No, why? Because I can't afford it.
41:54
Well, that's not we can pay for it.
41:56
You know, I don't have it. I don't have the gas money.
41:58
I'll give you a gas card. Like we make sure that you're
42:02
not going to say no. Like if you want to come,
42:04
literally don't check the box and say I asked like, no, you
42:07
can come. We'll find a way.
42:08
That's. Awesome.
42:11
You know, removing all barriers and obstacles is amazing because
42:15
and, and people sometimes want those barriers in place so they
42:18
can say no. Like, no, I'm sorry, I just
42:20
don't have the money for that. You know, I'm just, I'm not able
42:23
to or like you said, I can't drive.
42:24
Well, OK, we'll pick you up. Like if you remove those
42:27
barriers, they're kind of forced to engage, you know, because I
42:30
think they really want to, but they don't want to all at the
42:33
same time because they think they might get better and maybe
42:36
they don't want to. They're like, oh, I'll be forced
42:39
to talk to people and maybe. You.
42:40
Know have have a connection with somebody and I don't know if I'm
42:43
ready for that. Yeah, exactly.
42:45
So I call them box checkers, you know, like they'll call me up.
42:49
And so I have people call me up and they're just not ready to
42:51
get help. And they'll, you know, like
42:54
they're, they're having maritable problems and you know,
42:57
the spouse is like, you need to get help.
42:58
You need to go to a, a, you need to get in a peer group, you need
43:01
to do something. So what they'll do is they'll
43:03
call me up and they'll say, you know, I need to get help.
43:05
And I'm like, fantastic. I have gone to the point where I
43:10
was that guy. As soon as I heard no, I checked
43:12
the box and said nobody's doing anything for me.
43:14
And I did it. And like I said, I've learned
43:17
from my mistakes and I tried to listen.
43:19
My mom told me I was unique and there was nobody else like me.
43:22
And she lied because there are so many people like me out
43:25
there, you know, looking for that.
43:27
No, because I wasn't ready. You know, there are people out
43:30
there who say, Oh yeah, I listen, we have guys that come
43:33
to our our peer support group because their wife's or their
43:38
husbands tell them go to peer support and they sit in the
43:40
parking lot and they watch YouTube.
43:42
They check in the box. They're not ready.
43:44
And I'm not going to force them to be ready because it's going
43:46
to be a bad experience for them. And then they're going to be
43:48
like, Nope, I did it. I wasn't ready for it.
43:50
They just aren't ready. Or that person that calls me and
43:52
tells me they need to go to a sober home.
43:54
And then I call some of the, the organizations that we work with
43:57
that are, you know, substance abuse or drug abuse.
44:00
So we'll call them up and I'll say, Yep, you got to leave
44:03
Monday. You know, as much as I would
44:05
love to, I can't because like I'm cleaning my garage out this
44:08
weekend and Tuesday's trash day and I got to put everything out
44:11
on the curb. You're not ready if you're
44:13
looking for, if you're coming up with those, you're not ready.
44:16
You're checking the box because somebody told you, you need to
44:18
get help. Look, I called check the box and
44:21
you can't force it on them because it's like if they're not
44:25
ready, it's not going to work for them.
44:28
They have to be invested in their mental health and they
44:30
have to be invested in their recovery.
44:32
And if they're not fully ready for it, then they're wasting
44:35
people's times. That's true.
44:38
I mean, you can spend thousands of dollars trying to help
44:41
somebody get better, and until they want to get better, they're
44:44
not going to get better. It's going to be wasted effort
44:46
and wasted money. Because until somebody's really
44:49
saying to themselves, yeah, I need to change, I need to do
44:52
something different, nothing's going to be different.
44:55
And there's nothing wrong with that.
44:57
I mean, it's OK to say I'm not ready for that.
45:00
Help, but make small changes. If you're not ready for that big
45:03
massive change, then you should be making small changes.
45:06
You know, mental health is like like a car in a sense.
45:10
You have to do oil changes, you have to do maintenance on it,
45:12
right? You have to rotate the tires,
45:14
right, Which is you changing your mindset.
45:17
Like we we had said earlier, like that car is running and
45:19
it's always idling. It shut the car off at times,
45:22
but your body and mind are the same way.
45:24
People go to the gym and they work out their body 'cause they,
45:27
you know, I need to be physically fit, but you need to
45:29
be mentally fit too. So you need to do things that
45:31
are going to make you mentally fit and better.
45:35
And maybe you're not, you know, in the, in the point where
45:37
you're like, I need, you know, my, my brain's going to be
45:40
overhauled. No, maybe it's like, maybe you
45:42
need to go and talk to somebody, you know, walk and walk and have
45:46
a coffee with a friend. Just talk, it doesn't have to be
45:49
about the traumatic stuff that you're going through, but it
45:51
could be about some of the stuff you're going through.
45:53
Is work stressful to you? Is your finances stressful to
45:56
you? Your relationship stressful?
45:58
Did you get a new dog who's like you thought was going to help
46:01
you with your stress? And it's not the way that you're
46:04
going to do this is unpack slowly.
46:07
You don't you don't take a 10 mile walk in the woods and come
46:10
out in a mile like it's it's a process.
46:14
And that's what people need to understand.
46:17
I agree with that. And, and we also talked about
46:19
earlier too that, you know, it's OK to ask for help.
46:22
It's OK to need somebody to talk to.
46:24
It's OK to need some type of therapy, whatever that looks
46:28
like or whatever that is. If that's fly fishing or if
46:30
that's actually going into somebody's office and sitting
46:34
down and talking with them for an hour or two or whatever the
46:36
case may be. But you know, there shouldn't be
46:39
any reason why you can't get help.
46:41
If you want help, it's available on all kinds of different
46:45
levels. If you're at work, there's an
46:47
EAP program I bet you or. If you're a first responder.
46:50
There's probably some kind of first responder health that's
46:53
available to you, or if you're a veteran, their VA is available
46:56
to you. Or there's all kinds of other
46:58
organizations such as yours that are available to talk to people
47:02
and to help people and to really coach and guide them to other
47:05
services that might, you know, benefit them.
47:08
So, you know, there's the stigma is gone with people, you know,
47:12
that want or need help or, or, you know, or just want to see if
47:17
if they can work through some issues they've got going on.
47:20
Maybe they, you know, don't really have a problem per SE,
47:23
but they really just need some help kind of resolving some
47:26
issues in their own mind. So there's help available.
47:29
And there's no reason why you can't say, hey, I just need to
47:33
chat with somebody for a few minutes because the stigma of
47:36
needing help or asking for help isn't out there anymore like it
47:39
used to be. So let's put it this way.
47:42
This is how weird we are as a culture, as first responders and
47:45
veterans. We have no problem going in and
47:48
telling everybody that we're going to have a, you know,
47:49
colonoscopy, right? We have, which is the most
47:52
embarrassing thing on the planet.
47:54
But yet we have a problem going in and saying, yeah, you know
47:57
what? I, yeah, I'm talking to a
47:59
therapist. Like, what is what is wrong with
48:01
that? Like that's, it's, it's, it's
48:04
it, it confuses me. And I, and like, I've worked.
48:08
I was on a, a regional response team.
48:10
You know, we worked with SWAT teams and we, you know, we did a
48:14
whole bunch of things. I said I was a combat engineer
48:17
in the Army. I have a problem with people
48:21
saying, you know, no, I'm, I'm too tough or it doesn't bother
48:25
me. Listen, I have friends that are
48:28
Navy Seals. I have friends that were special
48:30
forces guys. I have friends that are SWAT
48:33
operators. I know some bad Mama jammers on
48:35
this planet. Did you know that Navy Seals,
48:37
any Special Forces tier one operator in their unit is
48:43
embedded with therapists, right? To go back to the movie, and I
48:48
don't even know when it came out, I'd have to look it up.
48:49
Lethal Weapon, right? LAPD had clinicians in place
48:54
back in the 80s in the movie Lethal Weapon, right?
48:57
Mel Gibson's, Mel Gibson's character was involved in a
49:00
shooting. He had to go and talk to the
49:02
clinician in their department, right?
49:05
It's been in place for a long time.
49:08
But people are afraid to say, oh, you know what?
49:10
I'm not doing well because they are afraid of how they're going
49:13
to look. Would you rather be looked at as
49:16
somebody going to see and seek help when things aren't so bad?
49:20
To the point when you're getting written up, getting suspended,
49:23
you're losing your wife, your kids, you're sleeping on a
49:26
couch. Are we going to wait until the
49:29
engine blows up or are we going to get an oil change?
49:33
And that's what I tell people, as bad as you think you are,
49:37
special forces guys are talking to clinicians, right?
49:41
They're doing debriefings after missions.
49:43
You're not that hard that you're above this.
49:47
It's OK to talk to somebody. And you should, if you're that
49:50
hard, you should be setting the example for the new guys to say,
49:52
look, I talked to somebody and it's, it's that simple.
49:56
And the whole stigma of unfit, the duty, if it gets to the
50:00
point where you're being mandated by your chief, you
50:04
should take it because he's trying to save your career.
50:07
All right. The only reason you're going to
50:10
lose your job is if you lie or you steal, right?
50:16
You can get an OUI and keep your job.
50:20
People make mistakes, but what you have to understand is you
50:23
have to actually, you know, cut it off.
50:26
You you got to know the signs and symptoms.
50:28
If you're constantly on edge, if you're irritable for no reason
50:33
whatsoever, if your uniforms look like crap.
50:36
And this is for people who you work with too.
50:39
If you have no problem, you know, complimenting somebody,
50:43
you know, if they went on a date or you can have no problem going
50:46
and talking about the appearance of a woman and a date and you
50:50
have no problem asking about when you going on that, you
50:52
know, on that date with that hot dude, a hot guy, whatever hot
50:56
chick. If you have no problem with
50:57
that, you should have no problem going.
50:59
Buddy, your uniforms look like crap.
51:00
What's going on with you? You know, you're on edge, you're
51:04
running late, you're using a lot of sick time.
51:06
You're not taking overtime. Like if your lifestyle is
51:09
changing, you do you take these as signs that something is not
51:13
right with you? If you're losing interest in
51:16
things, you know, like, oh, I used to love fishing, but I
51:18
just, I don't want to do it anymore.
51:20
That could be a precursor to you having some post traumatic
51:22
stress on mental health issues. Don't let it get to the point.
51:26
Now you're making case law or now you're violating policy and
51:29
procedure. You know, nobody wants to work
51:32
with you. Like these are the things that
51:34
you should be doing before it gets too bad.
51:39
You know, you're right and it's going to a therapist or
51:42
something like that is just going like going to any other
51:44
doctor. If I have a cold, I'm going to
51:46
go see a doctor and try to get better or I have, you know,
51:49
something else going on, I'm going to see a doctor.
51:51
So if I have something going on mentally because I feel like
51:54
I've got too much stress or I feel like I'm dealing with a lot
51:57
that I can't handle on my own, then I'm just going to a doctor.
52:01
And there's nothing wrong with that.
52:02
I mean, that's, that's what they're there for and that's
52:04
what they should be utilized. If you're needing any kind of
52:07
assistance that way, it shouldn't be any different.
52:11
And it's funny because I know some, I know some guys that are
52:14
union heavy equipment operators, rough, tough tattoos, Harley
52:19
Davidsons, these guys go and get pedicures.
52:22
You know why? It's self-care.
52:24
They feel better after they do with it.
52:26
So you need to do something like that.
52:28
And you shouldn't be ashamed of going in and going to see a
52:32
therapist, you know, or talking to somebody.
52:35
And it's funny because I'll hear people like, because we have up
52:38
here in the Northeast and I think you guys might have them
52:40
too. We have what called Vet Centers
52:42
and they're not the VA, the mental health centers.
52:45
And I've had the, I've had veterans say to me, but what if
52:49
somebody I know sees me there? I related, is this I related to
52:55
running into somebody in an adult film store or an, an adult
52:59
gentlemen's club? They're there too, right?
53:03
Like if you're there, they're there.
53:04
Like don't be embarrassed. Like, what do you think?
53:06
He just walked in off the street like, oh, geez, what's going on
53:09
in this place? Like you're both in the same
53:10
spot there for the same reason. Don't be embarrassed thinking
53:13
like, oh, what if somebody sees me there?
53:15
Good for you. You should say, look, I have the
53:18
courage and I have the strength to do what I need to do to be a
53:21
better person or to be better for my family or, you know, and
53:25
if you want to be selfish about it, be the better you for going
53:28
there. You're the reason because when
53:30
you're better, it's that proverbial pedal in the pond
53:34
that ripples going to affect everybody that you're in contact
53:36
with, not only your immediate family.
53:39
It's going to affect everybody that you're working with.
53:41
And for supervisors and leaders, you're getting a better product
53:46
out on the on the road. Public safety is a product,
53:49
we'll just put it that way. Good firemen, good EMTs, good
53:52
paramedics, good nurses, good police officers.
53:55
It's a product that you're selling your community, and the
53:58
better they are, the better it is for the people that they
54:01
serve. So think about it that way.
54:04
Be selfish. Take care of yourself.
54:06
Take some time for you. Yeah.
54:08
There's nothing wrong with that, that's for sure.
54:11
So you have a radio show. So tell us about that.
54:13
I do. So we have a Hidden Battles
54:15
radio. We're also live.
54:16
We're on live on Monday nights up here in New Hampshire.
54:20
And what we do is we bring on other nonprofits because I, like
54:26
I said before, if I found no, I would go see nobody's doing
54:30
anything for me. And when people ask me, you
54:33
know, what do you think the biggest problem with veterans
54:35
is? I tell them it's education.
54:37
And it's not like institutional education.
54:40
It's not going to college. It's education on who's doing
54:43
what for who. And what we do is we have so
54:46
many nonprofits out there and so many resources out there that
54:51
just strictly nobody's heard of or they may be new.
54:54
We're doing great things. So my radio show, we bring them
54:57
on and we have a casual conversation just like we are
55:00
here. And we talk about, you know, why
55:03
they serve the community, what brought them to doing it, You
55:06
know, very similar what we're doing.
55:08
And then we talk about stuff. And what we do is we bring on
55:12
Veterans Legal Aid. We bring on vouchers for
55:15
veterans, which is an organization that gives money to
55:18
veterans so they can buy food at the farmers market.
55:21
We bring on operation Delta Dog is one of our partners.
55:23
I have a service dog for them. So we bring them on so that our
55:27
listeners are educated to go, oh, they are doing that because
55:32
you can't say nobody's doing it for you.
55:34
And I'm taking that away. Like I said, we're, we're taking
55:36
away those no boxes, you know. So we bring in all these
55:39
different other organizations and we talked to them and we
55:41
said, what are you doing and why and what can you do and how can
55:45
we help? Because it's hidden battles like
55:47
I do my part and I'm only a spoke on the wheel.
55:51
But my mission is not hidden battles.
55:53
My mission is to improve the life of our local heroes.
55:56
You know, I want to have better brothers and sisters in uniform
56:00
and, you know, past and present. And I want to help my, you know,
56:05
I want to help them still. So it's not about hidden
56:08
battles. It's about getting the resources
56:10
out there so that people know they exist.
56:13
And that's what our radio show is.
56:14
We have a lot of humor involved in it.
56:16
We there's a lot of gallows humor.
56:18
We quote movies, we pick on each other and it's just it's two
56:22
hours of comedy with a lot of information thrown in there.
56:26
So you're on linear radio. Is yes, we're at.
56:29
What time and what channel? So we are on, we're on 7:00 PM
56:34
East Coast to 9:00 PM East Coast.
56:37
We're on a radio station called WSMN, but you can stream live
56:40
with WSMN dot live or you can go to our Facebook page because we
56:45
stream live on the Hidden Battles Facebook page.
56:47
Also, I like the Facebook page because we can interact with
56:50
everybody. People can, you know, chime in.
56:53
We do a lot of giveaways. We give away books, signed books
56:57
from people who appear on the show.
56:59
We give away merchandise, Hidden battles merchandise and stuff
57:02
because we'll do, you know, we want to keep them engaged.
57:05
So what we'll do is we'll say, hey, in the first hour I hinted
57:09
about this and whoever can come up with that answer, I'll give
57:13
AT shirt too. And we've cut it off a certain
57:15
time, but we want to keep people engaged.
57:17
And what we do is we get a lot of people who sit in there
57:20
cruises or at the fire station or in the, you know, their
57:22
ambulances in there streaming on their phone or if they're in the
57:27
Nashua, NH area, they can actually listen live right then
57:30
and there. So it's fun.
57:32
I mean, I enjoy it because it's an outlet for me.
57:37
And I, and like I said, I like to have conversations and find
57:40
out who's doing what for who. Because there's other
57:42
organizations out there that have never even heard of Hidden
57:45
Battles. I mean, we've been around for
57:46
nine years and I would just add a National Night Out and people
57:49
like who are you like so I. You think you get the word out
57:53
and then you find out you you don't have everybody engaged
57:56
yet. Yeah, absolutely.
57:57
What's the radio channel? You said it's WSMN and what?
58:01
What are the? Dot live dot live.
58:06
And what's the actual dial? It's 90 so it's it's 1590 AM and
58:14
95.3 FM. And 95 FM.
58:18
Yep, 95.3 FM point. Three FM OK, I'm putting this in
58:22
the chat just in case. Somebody.
58:23
Wants to tune in and it's. And if yeah, and if you missed
58:25
it, we're on. We're on every streaming
58:27
platform as Hidden Battles Radio Live.
58:30
You can go to Apple, Google Play, you can go to iTunes,
58:37
Spotify. We're on all the platforms.
58:40
So you can hear old ones. I mean, we've had some pretty
58:42
decent people on. We've had everything from, you
58:46
know, authors to musicians. We've had Navy Seals on.
58:53
I, I have one of our shows. You should check it out.
58:56
It's one of my favorite. It's called when Harry Met
58:59
Mickey. It's about a Navy SEAL who lost
59:01
both his legs and he met boxing legend Mickey Ward and we set
59:05
that up. So that's a good one.
59:07
So, but it's, it's a whole bunch of different cast of characters
59:11
that have come on, but it's it's very educational and
59:13
entertaining at the same time. That sounds amazing.
59:17
So is there any last words or messages you want to put out to
59:20
the audience about anything? We have about a minute left.
59:24
My, I think my mission, my message to everybody is to, you
59:27
know, you got to look out for you, you got to take care of #1
59:31
before you can take care of #2 And I really expressed that it
59:34
is not weak to get help. And if you are a loved one or a
59:39
friend of, of a first responder of veteran, you got to look for
59:43
them too, because sometimes it's easier looking out and you don't
59:46
see as much, but it looking in, you're going to see a lot more.
59:50
And don't be afraid to offer help.
59:51
Don't be afraid to be there for them.
59:55
That would probably be my, my best piece of advice for
59:58
anybody. Just you got to kind of take
1:00:00
care of each other. I think it's great advice
1:00:02
because you do, you have to take care of yourself because you
1:00:04
know, the flight attendant always says just put the mask on
1:00:07
yourself and then put it on your friends or your children or
1:00:10
whoever you're sitting beside if they're not able to.
1:00:12
So you can't take care of anybody else till you take care
1:00:14
of yourself first. So good, good advice.
1:00:17
Well, Scott, I really appreciate you coming on tonight.
1:00:19
It's been a pleasure talking to you and I look forward to having
1:00:22
you on again. Awesome.
1:00:23
Thank you, Terry, and likewise, what's have you on my show.
1:00:26
Awesome. Sounds.
1:00:28
Good. All right, we'll talk.
1:00:30
Thank you. Thank you so much.
1:00:32
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1:00:35
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