Latest / Tone It Down / The Science of Shaking It Out: DanceFit Founder Melody Afkami Dawson on Dance, ADHD, and Motherhood

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The Science of Shaking It Out: DanceFit Founder Melody Afkami Dawson on Dance, ADHD, and Motherhood · Tone It Down

• 0:00
  I would prefer to have my life feel good than look good.
• 0:04
  This is your weekly girlfriend chat, the kind that we all crave, where we can show up exactly as we are, laugh until we cry, get honest about the things we're navigating, and all the private girl talk that we need more of.
• 0:17
  No pressure, no perfection, just real women like us, sharing real stories with real connections.
• 0:24
  Over the years of Tonidab, I've learned that the most transformative moments don't always happen in a workout.
• 0:30
  They happen in those conversations before and after.
• 0:33
  when we realize we're all going through something, when we feel seen.
• 0:37
  And that's what Tone It Down is built on.
• 0:40
  My intention is simple, to help you tune back into yourself, to quiet the noise, and to remind you that you're allowed to evolve.
• 0:49
  This is Tone It Down.
• 0:55
  Welcome back to Tone It Down.
• 0:58
  I'm Karina and so happy as always to have you here.
• 1:01
  I'm going to get my energy up.
• 1:03
  What do you do to get your energy up?
• 1:05
  Today, I'm a little somber.
• 1:07
  It's the five year passing anniversary.
• 1:12
  What do you call that?
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  Of my mom.
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  I'm recording this on September 15th.
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  And it's just been one of those days.
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  But I'm going to let that out.
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  I'm going to dance it out.
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  Oh my gosh, this is a great, so great to today's guest, Melody Dance Fit.
• 1:29
  That's like what I want to do right now.
• 1:30
  I want to dance it out.
• 1:32
  So before I go into Melody and we talk about this, did you know you can leave me a voicemail at karinadawn.com slash message.
• 1:41
  I want to hear from you.
• 1:42
  This week, I'm going to do a solo episode answering your questions, talking more about the details of all the filming for the Tone Up app in Sandals St. Vincent.
• 1:53
  It was so much work.
• 1:55
  We had three trainers coming in and out.
• 1:57
  We had our crew there, and then Bobby and I had our 10-year anniversary, but I'll go into more of that.
• 2:02
  But it's good to be back.
• 2:03
  Oh, and before this.
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  Rising Tide meditation series is something that I filmed in St. Vincent and the Caribbean too.
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  And I wanted to film this and it's coming out on the 21st, which is this coming Monday after this comes out.
• 2:15
  And I really wanted to do a meditation series about the ebbs and flows and the rise of the tide and how we're changing seasons too, right?
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  We're going from summer to fall and summer vacations over and life is changing back to school, back to work.
• 2:30
  Then the holidays are coming.
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  And I
• 2:34
  is the perfect meditation for seven days to take you through all of the emotions and have you come out rising.
• 2:41
  So in your Tone It Up app, go ahead and hang out with us.
• 2:46
  And also, if you just want to do the seven-day meditation series, you can join us.
• 2:50
  You get seven days free.
• 2:51
  But I think you're going to really love the app and want to stay.
• 2:54
  Okay, now I'm ready to go into exactly what I need.
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  Dance as a nervous system reset.
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  That is what I need.
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  So Melody Dance It, she's here in Austin.
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  She was on the Big Silence podcast a couple years ago.
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  And at the time, she was not married.
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  She was not a mama.
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  And all these things.
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  So now she is a mom.
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  She is a wifey.
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  She is back talking about how dance has saved her life, how dance has helped her through anxiety and her ADHD.
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  And also we have a discussion about how she believes that having a baby actually helped her with her ADHD rather than making it worse.
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  So she said that having an infant leaves no room for blindness.
• 3:35
  Yeah.
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  But Melody is always such a great joy to talk to.
• 3:39
  We talk about family patterns and breaking family patterns and about staying true to yourself.
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  In the world right now, we kind of get really into this of social media and how you can just drown in it and the toxic positivity.
• 3:56
  That's my opinion.
• 3:56
  I don't know if I use that word during the podcast.
• 3:58
  But anyways, beautiful conversation.
• 4:01
  If you're in Austin, at the end, we share where you can go dance it out, dance out that nervous system with Melody.
• 4:08
  Make sure you click that subscribe button and make sure you share this with a girlfriend who needs to hear it.
• 4:15
  Enjoy.
• 4:15
  I love you.
• 4:17
  Welcome to the Tone It Down podcast.
• 4:19
  So happy to be here.
• 4:20
  Melody F. Cammie.
• 4:21
  Now, Dawson.
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  Yay!
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  It was two years ago you were here, but in that studio, in the big silent studio.
• 4:28
  I don't think you were married yet, and I don't think you had a baby yet.
• 4:32
  Yeah.
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  Yeah, we fit a lot into two years, huh?
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  We do.
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  So I'm going to link that.
• 4:38
  It was episode 104 of The Big Silence where you really dive into all of your story, but we're going to touch base on a lot of that again, too.
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  But let's just talk and start off Melody Dance Fit and fitness here in Austin.
• 4:55
  Let's talk about your story.
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  Even I guess we'll dive back to when you used to dance as a kid.
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  I grew up dancing competitively as a kid and I stopped dancing and I always joke that it was like an ex you just never could get over because I would think about dance and I'd think, I want to get back into it.
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  But I never really had.
• 5:19
  the urge to be a professional dancer in that capacity.
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  But as a kid, one of my favorite things to do when I felt a big wave of emotion was to go in my room and dance.
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  And so I found that creating Melody Dance Fit, it really was to create something that I was craving, which is a place to dance without performance, without perfection, and
• 5:44
  And just to let go and to explore what you're feeling.
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  Because I do think that as afraid as everybody is of dance, it is a beautiful thing because sometimes it just tells you what you're feeling before you even really know.
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  I love that.
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  And last time we talked, I mentioned how sometimes I like to just dance to get out that nervous energy.
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  Like if you wake up feeling a certain way, sometimes I just need to like either go in my cold plunge, I meditate, or I just like turn on a song and like shake it up.
• 6:13
  Yes, that's exactly it.
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  And that's you naturally somatically releasing and shaking it out.
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  I mean, you think about anxiety, it's stored energy.
• 6:22
  And when you shake it out, you're able to get into your body.
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  I mean, we're always, I mean, most of the time we're all living from the neck up, not the neck down.
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  And I feel like dance helps you just in the same way fitness does.
• 6:35
  But there's something more emotional about dance because you add the music and there's just an aura to it, an energy to it where you're just you can let go, I would say, a little bit more than traditional fitness.
• 6:46
  Yeah, I would say even with traditional fitness and lifting weights and you blast music, I just posted something yesterday on my Instagram of me dancing in the middle of my workout.
• 6:56
  I loved it.
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  Because sometimes I'm just like in between sets and I'm like, okay, feel the vibes, get the energy.
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  It just feels good.
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  And so we've talked before about how you have ADHD, you've been diagnosed with that.
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  And sometimes with that, it's known that
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  I mean, anxiety can come from that.
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  And so dancing has really helped.
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  So now that you're a mom, has your nervous system changed?
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  Have you had to learn a new way to take care of your mind and body?
• 7:22
  Yeah, you know, it's so interesting that you asked that because I had a friend ask me, hey, because I, you know, I've chosen to not do medication for ADHD.
• 7:31
  I just I'm such a creative that I just like to ride the wave of whatever I'm feeling.
• 7:39
  My ADHD has gotten worse since becoming a mother, and I actually oddly think that it's helped.
• 7:46
  Really?
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  Because you have to stay focused?
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  You cannot have time blindness when you have a baby.
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  It's like, no, you have to do this at this time.
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  If you, you know, he has...
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  a two-hour window where he's supposed to be napping, okay, I have to get that done, you know?
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  So it has grounded my nervous system in a deep way, probably from pregnancy.
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  And it's so funny because you read all the books that they're like, hey, mama, you know, like your nervous system...
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  creates their nervous system mama and you're just like that would give me anxiety so now if I'm stressed I'm making him stressed so it's just kind of this interesting thing where I do feel like it's grounded me amidst the chaos and the uncertainty of it and
• 8:29
  We're learning every day.
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  I feel like there is a sense of groundedness that comes with this phase that at least I'm feeling that.
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  And I'm normally somebody who my ADHD is all over the place.
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  And so it's kind of interesting.
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  I wasn't expecting for it to have gotten, I guess...
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  Yeah, because sometimes you would fear with the pregnancy hormones that it could get worse.
• 8:53
  Exactly.
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  And like a lot of postpartum depression and all of that.
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  Did you have any of that or how?
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  We had with my baby, he was a big baby.
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  So the birth was like a lot.
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  Did you do it all natural?
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  It was natural, but I did have an epidural at the very end because I was like, ah, get it done.
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  Yeah.
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  Yeah.
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  So his entry into this world was a little bit chaotic because he was such a big baby.
• 9:20
  But then after that, it was so smooth sailing.
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  And I don't think I experienced postpartum depression, but I'm sure all moms can relate to this identity kind of like identity shift.
• 9:35
  Mm hmm.
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  Mixed with an identity crisis, you know, you're kind of like, I'm the same, but I'm not the same.
• 9:42
  Yeah, I'm so different.
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  But I'm also I still have the same passion and ambition.
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  But it's so different now.
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  Everything's so different now.
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  On your Instagram, you danced all the way through your pregnancy.
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  You were teaching dancing on stage fully.
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  Until I felt like I was going to lose balance.
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  That's when I stopped.
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  So any moms listening, words of encouragement to just keep moving.
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  Yeah.
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  Yes.
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  My advice would be pretty similar to pre-baby, which is find something that you, maybe dance is not your thing and maybe you don't, that doesn't get you going, but maybe for you, it's going to swing dancing lessons or it's going to jujitsu and you just, whatever it is, find something that you like beyond the workout of it.
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  Do you know what I mean?
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  Beyond that, because
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  During pregnancy, especially, you need to kind of stay in touch with not just your body, but your soul.
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  And then through motherhood, I would preach the exact same thing of what do you enjoy doing that involves moving your body?
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  You know, what do you actually purely on a wholesome level enjoy?
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  And try to stick with that.
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  Yeah.
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  And that shifts all the time, even for myself.
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  It does.
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  Yeah.
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  And I talk about it a lot, like why in the Tonop app, it's not just me training because not everybody wants to train with me every day and do what I'm doing.
• 11:05
  Right.
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  But if they want to do Pilates or they want to do boxing or if they want to do dancing, I'm not teaching any of that.
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  Right.
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  So I think just finding something that will get you moving and it doesn't always have to be the same.
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  Yeah.
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  And like you just said, changing it up.
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  Yeah.
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  If something's feeling stagnant, okay, try something new.
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  But I think with pregnancy, everybody's experience is so vastly different.
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  I was lucky enough to have had a good pregnancy, but there are obviously going to be some people where maybe that's not in the cards for them.
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  You just have to find what's right.
• 11:37
  Exactly.
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  Don't forget to insult your doctor.
• 11:40
  Exactly.
• 11:41
  So running a business, Melody Dance Fit, let's talk about how that was created and when.
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  And then I want to talk about it now as being a mom and an entrepreneur.
• 11:52
  Yeah.
• 11:53
  Yeah.
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  So initially when I created Melody Dance Fit, it was really just this passion that I had.
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  I didn't go into it being like, this is my business.
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  This is the plan to grow.
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  It just kind of went off on its by itself.
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  And talk about grassroots things.
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  Brand marketing.
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  I mean, everything was so word of mouth.
• 12:14
  I started teaching at the studio and donating to Dress for Success.
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  So a big philanthropy aspect to it all.
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  And one class, it started with one class and then that grew.
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  And we did another class and those both grew out of the studio.
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  So we thought, well...
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  Let's move it to a concert venue downtown.
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  So pre-COVID was when it was, you know, downtown classes every week.
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  And then COVID, we were renting out weekly the North Door and the Parish.
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  One is on the east side and one is no longer there.
• 12:48
  Is that bars or stadium?
• 12:50
  Those weekly ones were like mid-sized concert venues.
• 12:54
  And then...
• 12:55
  Post-COVID and before COVID, I started renting out Emos, which is a bigger venue.
• 13:00
  Which I'm actually, they're closing down and I'm actually trying to, I know, they're moving, I think, from the east side.
• 13:07
  Are they on river?
• 13:09
  They're on riverside.
• 13:10
  Yeah.
• 13:10
  So I'm trying to actually, this is so funny that you're asking me about this because I was just emailing with them being like, can we do one more before you close down?
• 13:18
  So maybe in November we'll do a little pop-up, a last hurrah there.
• 13:22
  Yeah.
• 13:23
  Who's can't close?
• 13:24
  They've been around forever.
• 13:26
  I think they're relocating.
• 13:27
  Yeah.
• 13:28
  But that venue is so great.
• 13:29
  But yeah, so COVID really entered the era of my online.
• 13:34
  You know, I had been online.
• 13:36
  I had been doing YouTube videos and all that.
• 13:39
  I had my business online already, but it really grew during COVID.
• 13:43
  And that led me to creating my Dance to Heal program, which I think I had already had it when I came last time.
• 13:49
  But the Dance to Heal program is...
• 13:52
  really just this digital access to these videos and these modules that really, I feel like they represent what my classes mean beyond dance and beyond fitness and really delving into...
• 14:08
  Okay, how are you feeling right now?
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  You feel stuck.
• 14:11
  And then through six weeks, we have modules, and you watch the modules before you do the dance videos.
• 14:17
  And you do the dance videos, you repeat them three times a week.
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  So repetition is like a huge part of what I preach because –
• 14:25
  You can learn a new dance every single day and you'll get better at dancing.
• 14:29
  But when you start to really learn a dance and you repeat it and you repeat it and say, you know, talking to like a person who doesn't consider themselves a dancer at all.
• 14:39
  Mm-hmm.
• 14:40
  The transformation that I've seen from people to the first time to say the 50th time they do a dance and they repeat it.
• 14:47
  Oh, man.
• 14:48
  They really can have that cathartic experience, that release and that dose of confidence of who am I?
• 14:56
  Wow.
• 14:56
  This different persona comes out.
• 14:58
  It's so beautiful.
• 14:59
  So when you teach a class and I see people are all like choreographed, is that just by the end of class or do people have dances they're learning in modules before they show up?
• 15:10
  That's a great question.
• 15:11
  So I said in my digital course, I have them repeat the same dance video three times.
• 15:17
  So if you came into my live classes, it's kind of the same thing.
• 15:22
  You come in, I brace everyone for this idea that no one cares what you look like in here.
• 15:27
  We're not trying to be the best dancer.
• 15:29
  We're just here to let go.
• 15:30
  And then I start a warmup with something more simple.
• 15:34
  And then I go into my other dances and I'm cuing you the whole time.
• 15:38
  It's like this beautiful...
• 15:39
  language between the instructor and the people where I do have a mic, but I'm not stopping and saying, okay, on eight, I want you to look up down and then I want you to get your hands.
• 15:50
  No, it's not choreography based in that sense.
• 15:54
  It's kind of this language that happens.
• 15:55
  And then occasionally in between classes, in between dances, I do talk.
• 16:00
  So I give you a little bit of a
• 16:03
  Fair warning of, okay, we're going to do this and you're going to do this, but don't worry, nobody cares what you look like.
• 16:07
  So I think the energy helps people when you immediately make a statement opening up class of...
• 16:16
  It's okay.
• 16:17
  If you're nervous, don't even worry.
• 16:19
  Mess-ups are so welcome.
• 16:20
  They're solos in my class.
• 16:22
  So it's not that they know it prior to coming to class.
• 16:27
  However, if you start coming to class more and more, you'll find that some of the songs are going to be repeated from the last class.
• 16:35
  And you'll find that your body starts acclimating really quickly to learning new moves.
• 16:39
  The best way I can describe it is a beautiful language, like an unspoken language.
• 16:44
  And I just want to give you a shout out too, because going back to stadiums and bars, you would have hundreds of people show up, right?
• 16:51
  Yeah.
• 16:52
  Yeah.
• 16:53
  It was amazing.
• 16:54
  And, you know, it's like...
• 16:56
  Austin has changed so much in good ways and in different ways.
• 17:01
  You've been here all your life, so you've seen it all.
• 17:03
  I've seen it all.
• 17:04
  And after COVID, we tried to do, I actually taught at a comedy club.
• 17:10
  And it's good to understand that the studio where I'm at now is just so much more...
• 17:17
  of a right fit than trying to go back to like those bars because people aren't working downtown anymore as much, you know, people would work downtown.
• 17:27
  Then,
• 17:28
  walk to my class downtown.
• 17:30
  Do you feel like people are still, because of COVID, even though it's crazy that we're still talking about it, but we still are in this, you know, isolation period where people are still coming out.
• 17:40
  They're craving live events.
• 17:42
  They're craving live classes.
• 17:44
  But do you find that it's hard to still get people now to come out or is it thriving?
• 17:48
  I think the infrastructure has changed a little bit.
• 17:51
  I mean, just...
• 17:52
  through what I've seen, I think people are a lot more noncommittal, even with whether it's a workout class or meeting up for drinks or hangout.
• 18:01
  And I think we just all as a society become a little bit more noncommittal.
• 18:05
  And I don't necessarily think that's a good thing.
• 18:07
  But...
• 18:08
  I definitely have noticed that also in fitness classes.
• 18:11
  And it's not just my classes, like across the board, people are doing the bulk of their workouts at home from home.
• 18:19
  And so it's been beautiful for me because, you know, I'm in a season where I'm at home more with my baby and stuff.
• 18:26
  So having the online part where I can scale and still teach what I love to teach, which is that dance can really transform your spirit within weeks.
• 18:36
  Yeah, and that's, I mean, I work out at home too.
• 18:38
  Exactly, yeah.
• 18:39
  The Tone Up app is for working out at home.
• 18:41
  There are some gym programs.
• 18:42
  I mean, I love that less travel time, but it's nice to have in person.
• 18:49
  And I'm planning to go on tour again for 2027.
• 18:52
  I don't know if you saw that bus when you pulled in.
• 18:55
  I saw it, and I saw it on your story, and I got really excited.
• 18:58
  Yeah.
• 18:59
  It has a completely pink interior.
• 19:01
  I love it.
• 19:01
  We're crazy.
• 19:03
  I agree, though.
• 19:04
  I think we're all itching for more in real life, IRL, in real life communication and just experiencing things in real life.
• 19:14
  And as much as I love getting to scale what I do online, it's an amazing tool that we get to do that and that you have your app and all these digital products and people can access you from wherever.
• 19:27
  That's so beautiful.
• 19:28
  But man, nothing beats the in-person energy, right?
• 19:31
  Yeah.
• 19:32
  It's just a different energy.
• 19:34
  Yeah.
• 19:35
  So on the Big Silence podcast, you talked about ancestral trauma.
• 19:41
  And so I'm wondering, a little shift here from dance, but I'm just wondering, being a mom now, and is it Zade?
• 19:47
  Yes, Zade.
• 19:47
  Zade just turned one.
• 19:48
  Yes, yes.
• 19:50
  Do you think about that path, like how you want to break that as a parent?
• 19:55
  I know we talked about he feels whatever nervous system you have too.
• 20:00
  But do you intentionally make any choices in your life to break that path?
• 20:05
  I call it generational trauma.
• 20:06
  I think you said ancestral trauma.
• 20:07
  Yes, generational trauma or any, you know, familial patterns, I would say, is a better, is also a way to look at it.
• 20:14
  You know, when my husband and I got married, we did this whole kind of audit of, you know, it's not to judge our families, but it's to say, hey, let's look at our families and the patterns.
• 20:25
  Let's take the good stuff and let's leave some of the bad stuff.
• 20:28
  And making that decision, that conscious decision individually and together as a couple.
• 20:33
  Yeah.
• 20:34
  especially as we, you know, prepared to be trying to get pregnant and all that.
• 20:39
  So we really thought to ourselves, okay, what, what landscape are we going to give to our kids to where they can be the best version of themselves?
• 20:47
  And what are some things that, you know, both of our parents did that really enriched our life and our spirit?
• 20:53
  And then what are some patterns that maybe they were working through that we didn't so much want to take on, you know?
• 21:00
  And I think that
• 21:04
  I'm not a passive person at all.
• 21:06
  And I think that that in business and in most areas of my life, that's great.
• 21:10
  Like, I'm not passive.
• 21:12
  I'm direct.
• 21:13
  If there's something going wrong, let's talk about it.
• 21:15
  Bada boom, bada bing, let's go.
• 21:16
  Let's talk about it again if you need to.
• 21:18
  Yeah.
• 21:19
  I think that in a relationship and when you're bringing up like familial patterns, I think that
• 21:26
  I've learned to soften up on that of like, oh, not everything needs to be discussed right away.
• 21:32
  Sometimes we take a beat, you know, but I realized, well, we didn't do that in my family.
• 21:37
  We weren't able to take a beat.
• 21:40
  Are you first generation or second?
• 21:42
  First generation, Iranian American.
• 21:44
  And yeah, and you know, and I'm really close with my parents and my dad tells me, he's like, well,
• 21:51
  I didn't get what I've tried to give to you.
• 21:53
  You know, they come from a culture where, I mean, talk about oppression and just injustices that happened even before the revolution when they were in Iran.
• 22:04
  So they had such a different experience.
• 22:07
  So, of course, you know, we had it privileged compared to like my parents.
• 22:11
  But I think that the best thing that you can do is just...
• 22:18
  awareness.
• 22:18
  Awareness is what it is.
• 22:19
  It's awareness doesn't change everything.
• 22:22
  You still have to implement it.
• 22:23
  But I think once you become aware of, okay, this is a pattern that's not good for our nervous system.
• 22:29
  Yeah.
• 22:30
  Okay.
• 22:31
  Let's, let's look at that.
• 22:32
  And once we look at it,
• 22:34
  and you have the awareness, it does tend to have less power over us.
• 22:37
  Yeah, I like that.
• 22:39
  And I'm still at my age, I'm a millennial.
• 22:43
  You're a millennial.
• 22:45
  Let's go.
• 22:45
  Just got in there.
• 22:47
  But that awareness that I'm trying to find of why my nervous system is off sometimes and teaching yourself that you're safe, because I'm second generation.
• 22:54
  My grandma was pregnant with my dad, one coming from the Ukraine in 1950.
• 22:58
  Wow.
• 23:00
  They were through camps and Germany, like all that.
• 23:04
  My dad was in her belly.
• 23:05
  And I can tell my dad has anxiety and anxiousness.
• 23:11
  I mean, my dad also, my mom was schizophrenic, so that was just not, it's a tough life.
• 23:17
  But...
• 23:18
  I can see those traits as I'm older now.
• 23:21
  And my dad, I'm like, that's where I get it from.
• 23:24
  Yes.
• 23:25
  Yes.
• 23:25
  The same here.
• 23:26
  I mean, and my husband and I, we have so many candid conversations about it where now we're in a beautiful place where we're like, oh, we love the differences that we bring because we teach each other.
• 23:38
  My husband doesn't react.
• 23:40
  He's more, he responds.
• 23:42
  And I really admire that about him because I...
• 23:45
  Did not have that modeled to me.
• 23:47
  We just reacted.
• 23:48
  We're like, hey, yeah.
• 23:51
  So your husband, how did you guys meet?
• 23:53
  We met through friends at a concert here in Austin.
• 23:57
  Yeah.
• 23:58
  It was out in the wild, as you say.
• 24:00
  Wow, that's amazing.
• 24:01
  Because I have single friends trying to date in Austin, and it's not going so good.
• 24:08
  I've heard that dating is tough out here and everywhere right now.
• 24:12
  But I will say that.
• 24:14
  It's probably really annoying advice for single people when it's like, just stop, you know, stop trying.
• 24:18
  It's so annoying.
• 24:19
  But what I will say is just say yes to things more often.
• 24:22
  Not even necessarily go on all these dates, but just say yes in general.
• 24:27
  Just say yes more in general.
• 24:29
  Because that night that I went to that concert...
• 24:31
  I really didn't want to go.
• 24:32
  I remember thinking, eh, maybe I'll just door dash some food and stay in.
• 24:37
  That's what I would do.
• 24:39
  Exactly.
• 24:39
  But I'm in there 10 years.
• 24:41
  And I just decided, okay, maybe I'll just go out and have some fun.
• 24:44
  And then just for girls listening, they're like, but what do you do?
• 24:48
  So then do you exchange numbers like or like Instagram accounts?
• 24:51
  It was a group of us and we all had such a blast that night.
• 24:54
  And then, yeah, he asked for my number and then we were friends for a few months.
• 24:59
  A.K.A.
• 25:00
  he was kind of pursuing and trying to take me on a date.
• 25:03
  But he was younger.
• 25:04
  He's not he's not younger than me anymore.
• 25:06
  Everybody.
• 25:06
  OK, he's he's caught up to me and I have gotten younger.
• 25:11
  but how many years?
• 25:12
  He's three years younger than me.
• 25:14
  And I remember at the time I just was, I wasn't going to date anybody who wasn't marriage oriented or thinking of the, the end game.
• 25:22
  And so I kind of wrote him off before even asking what his vibe was, you know?
• 25:27
  So it took about three or four months of him trying to get me out on a date and pursue me.
• 25:33
  And then, and then the rest is history.
• 25:34
  Yeah.
• 25:36
  Just so you know, Bobby's three years younger than me, too.
• 25:38
  Oh, and look at them.
• 25:40
  Bobby actually has the pleasant vibe that my husband Tyler has.
• 25:44
  Very, very grounded energy.
• 25:47
  No, he's not.
• 25:48
  No, he can't.
• 25:49
  Like, when I'm not grounded, he will ground me.
• 25:52
  And then sometimes when he's not grounded.
• 25:56
  I think I'm grounding him and then I'll say something, pat myself on the back later.
• 25:59
  He's like, no, you stressed me out even more.
• 26:00
  I was like, oh, okay.
• 26:02
  Never mind.
• 26:03
  Thought I was supporting you.
• 26:06
  You didn't like my pep talk?
• 26:07
  No, it actually really stressed me out.
• 26:09
  You did not like my pep talk.
• 26:12
  And then that makes me think of TED Talk.
• 26:13
  You did one.
• 26:14
  Yes, actually after.
• 26:15
  When was that?
• 26:16
  After.
• 26:16
  Yeah.
• 26:17
  So, okay.
• 26:18
  So you've gotten married, did a TED Talk, had a baby.
• 26:20
  Yeah.
• 26:21
  Yeah.
• 26:22
  And somehow I feel like I'm not doing enough.
• 26:23
  Isn't that funny?
• 26:24
  Isn't that funny how we do that to ourselves?
• 26:27
  Let's talk about that because I don't know if you know, but I reacquired Tone It Up in December of 2025.
• 26:36
  And it's been like eight months of just on the back end, figuring everything out, the structure, what was going on.
• 26:42
  And I'm the only person on the cap table.
• 26:45
  I didn't take investors at this point.
• 26:47
  I just was like, I...
• 26:48
  can't have business partners right now.
• 26:50
  Let me just do this on my own.
• 26:52
  But then I'm like, I'm not doing enough.
• 26:55
  I need to do better.
• 26:56
  So what is that mindset to you?
• 26:58
  Why do you feel like that?
• 27:00
  I read somewhere that women, our brains always have about 30 tabs open.
• 27:06
  And I think that social media in our society really plays into this effect where you could be doing so much.
• 27:14
  You could be doing an amazing job.
• 27:17
  But then at the palm of your hand, you're able to see a hundred different people.
• 27:23
  Maybe doing what you think you're doing, but it looks like they're doing more and it looks like they're actually more successful and they're more put together and they have a beautiful living room.
• 27:35
  And you're just kind of like, well, what?
• 27:37
  I don't feel so good anymore.
• 27:39
  Do you think it has anything to do with it?
• 27:41
  Because I'm so old school.
• 27:43
  Like before we started filming, I was like, I didn't even use Claude until recently.
• 27:46
  And I was like, ooh, what's this?
• 27:49
  And yeah.
• 27:50
  I from tone it up in the beginning and then I had the issue.
• 27:54
  I was suffering my own decade of darkness.
• 27:56
  Fitness saved me.
• 27:57
  And I wanted to share that message with the community.
• 27:59
  So it's like a purpose driven with big silence, mental health foundation, growing up with a schizophrenic mom.
• 28:04
  Everything that I do for work is for a purpose first.
• 28:09
  And what you do, whether you're dancing and healing people through dance, it's never been money driven.
• 28:14
  Then you go on social media and people are like, I made $7 million in one day.
• 28:20
  Oh, yeah.
• 28:22
  All the coaches and all the things.
• 28:24
  And no diss at all.
• 28:26
  That's great.
• 28:27
  Just that thing, too, when you're so driven from the heart.
• 28:31
  Yes.
• 28:31
  And helping people.
• 28:32
  Yes.
• 28:33
  But not like coach vibes.
• 28:36
  You know what it is too is it's this idea that to get noticed online, what do you think you have to do?
• 28:43
  They say, okay, be controversial.
• 28:46
  Polarizing is good for engagement.
• 28:47
  Yeah.
• 28:48
  I don't play that.
• 28:49
  I don't like that.
• 28:50
  I'm like, it's fine.
• 28:51
  I mean, if my language is not polarizing enough and I'm not saying this thing that like, it is hard.
• 29:00
  I see what you're saying to maintain the purpose and integrity of the work that got you started, not where you're going, but just like.
• 29:09
  Going back to your basic roots, it can be so easy to have shiny object syndrome when you're online and you see what everybody else, again, at the palm of your hand, you're seeing what everybody else is doing, how they're doing it, whether or not they're getting traction doing what they're doing.
• 29:24
  And you do, you think to yourself, should I be doing that?
• 29:27
  Should I go that route?
• 29:28
  Should I?
• 29:28
  And really life is all about choices.
• 29:30
  And I think that it's really important with social media as a part of life, especially in our business and what we do,
• 29:38
  It's more about how do you come back to yourself and how do you drown that out and making sure that you have some rituals in place where you're just like, okay, let me take a big step away from that.
• 29:52
  What gets me going?
• 29:54
  What makes me happy?
• 29:55
  And yeah, at the end of the day, are you doing it to get a million dollars and a bunch of followers?
• 30:00
  Okay, well, I'm not.
• 30:02
  I'm doing it for impact.
• 30:04
  And I would love to have more visibility, but not at the cost of me losing who I actually am at my core.
• 30:12
  Right.
• 30:12
  And you want to stay and remain authentic to yourself because what is life changing to me is when I get the DM of someone saying, you changed my life, you saved my life, you've done like, I'm like, and I get teary eyed.
• 30:25
  I'm like, my work is done.
• 30:27
  Exactly.
• 30:28
  Exactly.
• 30:29
  I feel the same way.
• 30:30
  I mean, I, a girl came to my class and she said after, she said, I don't know what just happened in there, but you healed me.
• 30:38
  I got teary eyed too.
• 30:40
  And I was thinking.
• 30:42
  How funny, how cool is that?
• 30:43
  That we definitely listened to little John in there and we were just, we're definitely booty shaking and it is so healing.
• 30:50
  It is, but I totally agree that staying true to who you are and...
• 30:57
  And staying the course of that is really, I think that is the key to success.
• 31:03
  Staying the course, staying consistent and remaining true to yourself in a world that's always kind of shifting and saying, you need to do this.
• 31:13
  You need to buy that.
• 31:13
  You need to go with this.
• 31:14
  You need to do it this way.
• 31:15
  And you just got to stay in touch with yourself.
• 31:18
  Yeah.
• 31:18
  My social team sent me a document two months ago of hooks.
• 31:22
  I was like, I can't do it.
• 31:24
  I can't do it.
• 31:26
  I just, I'm going to be.
• 31:28
  Well, again, it's going back to this idea of for some people, the followers, that's their goal.
• 31:37
  And that's their main goal.
• 31:38
  And yes, the virality and the hooks, those things come into play.
• 31:42
  Yeah.
• 31:42
  Yeah.
• 31:43
  But if somebody looks at me online and thinks, eh, but they meet me in person and they see my energy, I would prefer to have my life feel good than look good.
• 31:54
  I would prefer for my business to feel good than look good.
• 31:57
  Yeah.
• 31:58
  And I do feel...
• 32:00
  After, you know, the COVID and then all the AI, which I also believe is bringing more like people being alone even more.
• 32:09
  But I do am sensing this turn to real human connection and people not having to listen to an expert tell them how to speak online and just being yourself.
• 32:21
  Yes.
• 32:22
  We're already seeing, you know.
• 32:25
  loneliness is on the rise.
• 32:27
  And I think that, think about motherhood too.
• 32:29
  And I was talking to some friends about it, about how back in the day there were villages, you know, it's like, Oh, it takes a village.
• 32:37
  You know, it's like people and friends helped out more.
• 32:40
  And now we are a little bit more individualistic as a society, as a collective.
• 32:45
  And,
• 32:47
  Even online, you know, think about social media.
• 32:49
  It's like you feel like you're connected to all these people, but you're not.
• 32:53
  You're alone and you're on your phone.
• 32:55
  And then you have the epidemic of us all being a little bit addicted to our phones where you can be in a group of people and, well, it's a little tempting to look down and see, well, what are other people doing?
• 33:04
  You know, and I think that we're losing...
• 33:06
  We're losing that sense of togetherness and in real life connection.
• 33:11
  But I think the tide is turning now where people are honoring that we don't want to lose that.
• 33:17
  Because beyond whatever fitness routine, whatever your macros, human connection is the thing that saves lives.
• 33:24
  Yeah.
• 33:25
  Beyond everything.
• 33:26
  Yeah.
• 33:26
  Yeah.
• 33:27
  All right, I want to have some fun little questions here.
• 33:29
  You were in the Havana music video that had over 40 million views.
• 33:33
  And that was like 2018, 19?
• 33:35
  Yes, I have a video that I posted recently
• 33:41
  Was it Havana?
• 33:42
  Yeah, it's my dance fitness video to Havana.
• 33:45
  And it was the first time I learned how to edit videos.
• 33:49
  And so I spliced together a bunch of different clips of me dancing with people to that song.
• 33:55
  And I don't know what happened.
• 33:56
  It went mega viral.
• 33:58
  Do you ever get recognized as the Havana girl?
• 34:00
  Oh, all the time, Karina.
• 34:02
  I mean, paparazzi.
• 34:04
  They're outside my house now.
• 34:05
  No.
• 34:06
  No, but there will be funny things where my, I don't know, my aunt was like, somebody was showing me this video and it was you.
• 34:12
  And so little things like that will happen.
• 34:14
  That's kind of cute.
• 34:16
  This is so funny.
• 34:16
  When I was researching, I read something that Angie Lee is your biggest dance fan.
• 34:23
  Oh, I love Angie.
• 34:24
  She's the best.
• 34:26
  She's great.
• 34:27
  She loves dancing too.
• 34:29
  Did she introduce us?
• 34:30
  Was it Angie or who was it?
• 34:32
  I think Angie did introduce us.
• 34:35
  Yeah, I think it was Angie.
• 34:37
  Yeah.
• 34:38
  Well, all right.
• 34:39
  If anyone, tone it up girls here in Texas.
• 34:42
  If you want to dance.
• 34:43
  Yes.
• 34:43
  IRL with Melody.
• 34:45
  Where do they go?
• 34:46
  You go to MelodyDanceFit.com.
• 34:48
  And in Austin currently, I teach Thursday, 6.30 p.m. and Saturdays at 12 p.m. And yeah, it's a really lovely, fun studio.
• 34:59
  Dark lighting.
• 35:00
  And also, I do just want to say that I am launching Dance to Heal again and opening enrollment for that.
• 35:07
  And I'm doing a cohort program.
• 35:09
  For the moms.
• 35:10
  Amazing.
• 35:11
  I'm just in this season and I thought to myself, wow, moms need this almost more than anybody.
• 35:19
  And the whole digital part of it where, you know, I can't even get besides the classes that I'm teaching.
• 35:26
  I don't have the time to go to different classes.
• 35:30
  So I'm launching a special cohort for the moms for Dance to Heal in the fall.
• 35:35
  Amazing.
• 35:36
  And I asked you this last time too.
• 35:38
  What is currently your favorite song to dance to?
• 35:43
  I'm just going to give you my first answer, which is Peace of Me by Britney Spears.
• 35:50
  Because you love like the 2000s.
• 35:53
  Yeah.
• 35:54
  Well, I just there's a part where she's like, and with a kid on my arm, I'm still an exception.
• 36:00
  And I don't know any any song that has a reference to being a mom now.
• 36:03
  I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's me.
• 36:06
  That's us.
• 36:07
  I love that.
• 36:08
  Well, thank you for hanging out.
• 36:10
  Aw, well, thank you for having me.
• 36:11
  I'm vinciting maybe a toned up app dance workout in the future or something.
• 36:16
  Yes, 100%.
• 36:17
  And maybe in a big event here.
• 36:18
  I know.
• 36:19
  That would be so fun.
• 36:20
  We've been talking about that.
• 36:22
  I know.
• 36:22
  For years.
• 36:23
  We've got to get it together.
• 36:24
  Yes.
• 36:25
  But thank you for coming and hanging out.
• 36:27
  Always a pleasure to see you.