Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / A Moment with Krystal Nielson

Transcript

A Moment with Krystal Nielson · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It's the Almost Anna's podcast, and you've got me here
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: holding down solo. Ben has so many solo episodes himself
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: this week between his two events and today, I'm excited
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: that we this is good time to just be girls
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: because we have someone that we all love, Enbachlorination.
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: She's resoually gone through a.
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: Pretty difficult experience and she has a beautiful baby now
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: through it. Please welcome Crystal Nielsen. Hi, thank you for
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: having me so oh my gosh, thank you for being here.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: It's been too long. I really haven't spoken to face
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: to face and to wait far too long.
• 0:40
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's been since Vegas.
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: Vegas. What are we doing in Vegas?
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: Remember when we went to Vegas?
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: Are you not gonna talk about Nashville?
• 0:49
  Speaker 4: Well, we did Vegas, and I think Nashville is after that.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, Naville is right after.
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah. Both are really fun. They were they were. I
• 0:57
  Speaker 4: was literally just looking at photos from Vegas like you
• 0:59
  Speaker 4: get iPhoto memory and selfie like Miles and I popped up.
• 1:03
  Speaker 4: I was like, oh yeah, that was a really good time.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: I love Myles.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: He's so great that was okay, now that you just
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: put it in my head, I was thinking, okay, yeah.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: So it was the time that I first met Miles
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: and I was like, why does he remind me so
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: much of Robert.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Pattinson, doesn't he?
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: Yes, It's like so crazy because right off the bat
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: you don't think that, and then you see him in
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: person and like his mannerisms or something, and he's Robert
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Pattinson because he's very meek, you know, he's just very
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: like humble, and he's very Edward like you know, like yeah,
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: like very very mysterious spoken and mysterious very.
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: He doesn't suck my blood though.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: You guys have been together for so long now, and
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: I'm just happy that you have found such happiness with him,
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: and you have two beautiful children. Now.
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: I can't believe how old Andara is.
• 1:54
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, it's just so funny, like because you know,
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: we met so almost ten years ago, you know, like
• 2:00
  Speaker 4: nine years ago, and it is crazy just how fast
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: the time goes. And I will say, like now, being
• 2:07
  Speaker 4: a mom and being a parent, I'm sure you can
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: attest to this, just like your perspective and outlook on
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: life completely changes.
• 2:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm like judge.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: I like, IM like, awfully judge, because like when I
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: hear somebody complaining about something that's like so trivial, I
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: am like.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: But you have your children and your health, okay.
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and you just uh, I mean especially just everything
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: that just being so crazy in the world, Like when
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: you have kids, like you're just in it so differently
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: right because you're thinking of them and their future, and
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: especially now being a mom of two, that has been
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: such an interesting act for me to balance and a
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: lot harder than I initially thought, and so much harder
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: than just going from zero to one. Whoever, the lady
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: said zero to one, No, it was harder. I was like,
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: that is a lie.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Who it is, and there's a lot of that.
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: There's a lot out. I'm like, okay, I did zero
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: to one. That was easy. But it was also because
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: my daughter was born during the pandemic, so there was
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: nowhere to go, nothing to do, like we were just home.
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: And I feel like I really like stepped into truly
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: like my most authentic best self, like becoming a mother
• 3:20
  Speaker 4: to her, and so I really thought, I'm like, oh,
• 3:23
  Speaker 4: that'll be easy one to two.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Not at all.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: Well, so many people were telling me, and when I
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: say so many, I do think it's like almost a
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: fifty to fifty split via Instagram on whether zero to
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: one is harder or one to two. And I am
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: such in the camp that one to two is harder,
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: but I was hoping it was going to be the
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: other fifty percent lead you mean, the direction of truth.
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: Well, and most people say though, that the third is
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: the easiest.
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: Oh so everybody says the third and I'm like, I'm
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: not even gonna try, but thank you for showing like
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: this for me. No, it's funny because my nanny said
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: it best. When I talk about having a third, She's
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: always like, you guys, diould have a third you have
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like, oh, so, like they're not you
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: know them, and she's like they are both main character energies.
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: And it's like, yes, I have no side energy, no
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: supporting character here, and I just it's just them.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: It's just gonna be that. But I know that you
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: may want more. Yeah, well, I know. We we'll get
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: into that.
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, so it would have to be in a non
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: conventional probably way correct. Yeah, all right, so let's jump
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: into that. You recently about how many weeks ago. Has
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: it been since Rowan was born.
• 4:40
  Speaker 4: It's been twelve weeks.
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: Twelve weeks, Holy moly, I was gonna guess eight.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, so I think this is like the last week.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: I'm technically in the fourth trimester, uh huh, which I
• 4:50
  Speaker 4: feel really good, Like, honestly, I feel like I've fully
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: recovered from my surgeries. I feel really strong now that
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: I've been making a little space for self care. My
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: hormones are beginning to balance out a little bit. Because
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: there were crashing there around weeks like nine and ten.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: I'd say, we're getting to be pretty rough for me.
• 5:09
  Speaker 4: And then I just really like opened up and communicated
• 5:11
  Speaker 4: with Miles really what I needed and how we needed
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: to come together as a family in this current season.
• 5:17
  Speaker 4: And I would say, like having a second child really
• 5:20
  Speaker 4: has taught me just understanding this is just temporary. So
• 5:24
  Speaker 4: I need to make I need to set myself up
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: to have little wins. And I'm specifically talking about like
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: for my health goals, my fitness goals, my self care goals,
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: my mental health goals need to be little wins that
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: I can do right now and make it work for me.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: And so giving myself that permission that I can't compare
• 5:41
  Speaker 4: myself to who I used to be before I had kids,
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: especially like being in the gym for three hours a day,
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: Like that's not who I am anymore. And there's an
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: element with the first child where you warn that, and
• 5:53
  Speaker 4: then I think with the second, I'm like, nope, like
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: this this is just the new me, and I can't
• 5:58
  Speaker 4: wait to explore her and give herself a lot of
• 6:01
  Speaker 4: grace in this season. So that's all been really positive.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: What'snick, what's an example of one of your small winds
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: that you try to incorporate after that conversation.
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: So specifically, it was working out. We have like I
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: used to go to the gym, and I'm not going
• 6:15
  Speaker 4: to the gym because they can't leave the baby alone alone.
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: So we have a garage gym. But because it's winter,
• 6:20
  Speaker 4: and even though we're in San Diego and the weather
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: is like beautiful and amazing, it's still just really cold
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: and dark in the garage. It's not enticing for me
• 6:27
  Speaker 4: to go and motivating. So instead, I just bought myself
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: like a new yoga mat, and I do my workouts
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: in the living room where it's sunny and it's warm
• 6:34
  Speaker 4: and the baby's right next to me and his bouncer,
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: and I'm doing some follow along workout videos and so
• 6:40
  Speaker 4: that's a huge win. Where it's like fifteen twenty minutes
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: in my living room in my pajamas, covered and spit up.
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: It's not me like in this cute set taking selfies
• 6:50
  Speaker 4: filimping myself. It's like, I'm just getting it done and
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: I'm feeling and it's been big for my mental health
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: for sure.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: We could like, have you come back and do an
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: entire segment on winter mental health and winter wellness because
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: I am feeling it.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: And I don't know if it's like an age thing.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Or because the Northeast, the East in general, actually like
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: most of the country, just like had has, has had
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: a brutal winter. But it's like I feel my I
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: can feel my vitamin D levels, like my energy is
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: just not there. But I don't want to, I don't
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: want to focus on this, but I do think it'd
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: be very interesting conversation to have with you, because I'm
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: so jealous that you are in San Diego.
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: Anytime you want to come visit brand we have.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: We're going guess where we're going this week with Jade
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: and Tanner where Vendonta y Yeah, kids for vacation. Yeah,
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: we've never gone there for vacation and not show and
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: we like to do a trip with Jada and Tanner
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: every year and the kids have never well Emmy has
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: been there, but I don't think any of the other
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: four kids have been there.
• 8:03
  Speaker 4: So that is going to be so fun.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we're really really really excited and to get the
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: Vitamin D as well.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: I mean people like listening that's where they filmed The
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: Bachelor of Ice, yes.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: And now now no longer.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: But we I feel like to us who have filmed it,
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: and you even got married at Vendanta, that, like Vendanta
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: is just as nostalgic to us as the actual set
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: applies can data, Yeah, because we spend so much time there.
• 8:30
  Speaker 4: Wait, and that's so special because you know you got
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: engaged there, like you guys both met your partners there.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, like that is Valentine's which is really cool.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's so cool.
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: I love that for you.
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: Thanks, thanks, Yeah, I'm so excited. We went for our
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: friend's wedding last year. She was got married in the
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Portabrita area and we were like, why are we only
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: here for two nights.
• 8:53
  Speaker 3: We have got to like actually come.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: So anyway, enough about me, I want to get into
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: your whole fertility and pregnancy and delivery journey, which I
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: know is going to be like emotion filled for you.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: So just I'm you know, we'll take it as we go.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: So the first, first off, you it took a little
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: while to get pregnant with Rowan, And I remember you
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: had a post that was controversial. This is like years
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: ago now where you were upset that after just a
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: few months of trying that you weren't pregnant yet because
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: with Enara, well it was a surprise and you got
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: pregnant without even trying.
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: Surprise.
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, So then how long did it take to get
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: pregnant with Rowan?
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, well, just going back to that post. So I
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: posted that in like October twenty twenty three, and we've
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: been trying for three months at that time. And what
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: that YouTube video was about was that I had done
• 9:49
  Speaker 4: a Dutch hormone test before we got married, but I
• 9:53
  Speaker 4: didn't get the results till we came back from the honeymoon,
• 9:55
  Speaker 4: and what it had showed was that all my sex
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: hormones were completely tanked. And then I was in p amenopause,
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: oh gosh, yeah, yeah, thirty five. And so what I
• 10:06
  Speaker 4: started doing was I was working with a functional practitioner
• 10:09
  Speaker 4: and they had me start taking some herbal supplements, like
• 10:11
  Speaker 4: all kind of natural stuff, but some were like boving
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: hormonal things to try to help get me to ovulate
• 10:17
  Speaker 4: because I wasn't ovulating. I didn't have any sex hormones.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: You weren't ovulating, So then was it something? Didn't you
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: kind of know something was up when you weren't getting
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: a period.
• 10:25
  Speaker 4: I didn't know that. I didn't know you hell, I
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: was no. I was having an ovulatory cycles and I
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: didn't I know that, And so kind of to go
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: back and I break this all down in that YouTube video.
• 10:38
  Speaker 4: But like for like the nine months leading up to
• 10:41
  Speaker 4: me making this video, all of a sudden, I started
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: having crazy symptoms like putting on weight, I had gray
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: hairs coming in, My energy was really low, my cycles
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: were all over the place, really long, really short, really heavy,
• 10:55
  Speaker 4: as having like like bleeding for like eight nine days,
• 10:59
  Speaker 4: really heavy, And so I just didn't know what was
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: going on with my body. And so what I had
• 11:04
  Speaker 4: the answers for when with that Dutch hormone test was
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: that I was in perimenopause and my coresole was so high.
• 11:11
  Speaker 4: My stress that I unknowingly was being very stressed, which
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: I didn't think I was. Yeah, but there were things
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: like having a leaky gut, eating inflammatory foods, foods that
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: I was having food sensitivities to, causing a lot of
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: inflammation in my body. All that was affecting me internally,
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: which was affecting my gut, my hormones, my nervous system,
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: my energy all down the line right just cascades down.
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: And so flash forward to getting these results. I started
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: some hormones and some natural supplements and we kind of
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: had higher doses to just really help me get pregnant quick.
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: And I had a really bad response to it. I
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: just had hormonal cystic acme popping up, was gaining emuncuate,
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: extramely bloated, my clothes didn't fit, and then I was
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: just having this emotional coaster. And so I made that
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: video because I decided, Hey, I'm going to stop trying
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: to giving myself all these supplements that are making me
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: feel terrible, and I'm going to try to get pregnant naturally.
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: And so that video received a lot of backlash. Because
• 12:15
  Speaker 4: I posted an Instagram reel of me crying when I
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: had made that decision that hey, I'm going to do
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: this the natural way and I'm going to stop here
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: and just give my body a break and really understand
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: what's going on internally. I posted me crying and people
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: thought I had a miscarriage.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: And so then they were annoyed that that video led
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: them there.
• 12:39
  Speaker 4: Yes, and so it was a whole misscommunication. And just
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: one thing I have to add to that is that normally,
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: like when I post I never posted ghost. On this post,
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: I did because I was going to celebrate my birthday
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: with Miles's parents, and so I posted it and I
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: had just left my phone until I got home that night,
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: like six hours later, and I like before I went
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: to bed, and I saw that it had gone like
• 12:59
  Speaker 4: mega viral and had like four thousand comments in like
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: five hours that were not good. And so, yeah, there
• 13:07
  Speaker 4: was a lot of things that happened with that. I
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: kind of, yeah, there was a lot of things privately
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: that happened with that. So it was pretty traumatizing. And
• 13:19
  Speaker 4: like where I'll say where that leads me today is
• 13:21
  Speaker 4: like it maybe not want to open up and talk
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: about fertility and not maybe want to share my personal
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: struggle because you know, I felt really bad for the
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: people who were triggered by that and who had personal
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: experiences with infertility. At that time, I really didn't have
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: a clear picture. But flash forward to the next twenty months.
• 13:38
  Speaker 4: It took me twenty months to get pregnant.
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: Twenty months not from the video, but from total from
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: the beginning, so like nine months, okay, twenty months trias
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: actively with each cycle.
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: Yeah, there was a couple Like there were several months
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: within that where I u was doing a detox protocols
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: and taking a bunch of really strong herbs, so you
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: don't want to get pregnant on that. So there were
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: a few months that I wasn't but I was doing
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: these protocols to get pregnant. And I made another follow
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: up video this past year where I did break it
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: down and what I discovered how I actually got pregnant.
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: I found out I wasn't even ovulating. I was having
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: an ovulatory cycles, which is the number one sign of infertility,
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: Like women don't know you're not dropping an egg because
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: you don't like I wasn't producing cervical mucus, like there
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: are things, and my body temperature wasn't spiking, And then
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: I found out I had a lazy ovary, so it
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: was every other month that I would ovulate or not
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: even ovulate. So it just took me so long, and
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: I didn't know that this was going on within my
• 14:39
  Speaker 4: body until I started running functional testing and getting answers
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: that way, and then running protocols to really heal my
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: body from the inside.
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: Wow, that is an emotional journey, that really is. And
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: he's like a little miracle baby, and he becomes even
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: more of a miracle baby when he's trying out how
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: he survives his delivery.
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: I know, you know, I will say, like when we
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: got pregnant, you know, there's luck as pregnancy is hard,
• 15:03
  Speaker 4: and even as long as we tried in his grateful
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: as a way to get pregnant, it's still tough to
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: be pregnant, like women.
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: Know, I know, it's such a hard delicate balance talking
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: about really all fertility hormonal things because everyone has their
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: own struggle, Like I didn't really struggle to get pregnant,
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: but holy crap, did I hate pregnancy?
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: But then if you say I hate pregnancy, then you're
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: worry about hurting the feelings of people who can't even
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: get pregnant of course.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it is a delicate balance. But I will
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: say like so and two things can exist to at once.
• 15:38
  Speaker 4: You can be so grateful to be pregnant and also
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: like not like.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: About absolutely that that is my status.
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: You're allowed to have that, Like, every every feeling is
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: valid and real for someone, and we all have our
• 15:49
  Speaker 4: own experiences, and I think that's just important to understand,
• 15:52
  Speaker 4: like in this space, especially with fertility, because I knew
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: like going in, I think hearing from like Jade, she
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: was like, well, like mommy, trolls are real. They'll really
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: come at you, you know, like aggressively. And then especially
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: I felt that especially in the fertility space of like whoa,
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: like there are really charged emotions in this space, you
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: know understandably, So I will say, like the pregnancy was
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: really hard, but also so grateful we wanted to avoid.
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: The pregnant was The pregnancy was hard itself. It was
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: in what ways.
• 16:22
  Speaker 4: You know, we had some you know, like a lot
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: of like scares, medical scared that I'm not going to
• 16:28
  Speaker 4: get into. So there was just so much like stress.
• 16:36
  Speaker 4: Sorry I don't agree, Okay, Yeah, but it is hope, like,
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: is my baby going to be okay? And he is,
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: He's perfect, and so I was really looking forward to
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: not being pregnant more just like having Yeah, and then
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: it was a really traumatic berth.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: So you had quite a plan going into the birth.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: I feel like I kept watching your instagrams like yesterday,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: the day, say today, and you were like so calm,
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: and but you had like definitely a plan going into it.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: House and Dara's delivery, I remember, I think it was good, right.
• 17:22
  Speaker 4: Yeah, her delivery was so easy. Yeah, And I was
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: induced with her for a medical reason. She had an
• 17:29
  Speaker 4: assistant her meilical cord and we caught it at like
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: thirty four weeks, so it was growing to a point
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: where we thought, hey, this could like cut off blood
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: supply like, and so I really trusted my doctors. So
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: we had an induction and it was an easy, smooth experience. Honestly,
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: it was. I felt bad telling people about it because
• 17:47
  Speaker 4: it was so easy.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: The same here I've said really inappropriate.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: Things probably about my deliveries, Like it was like a
• 17:55
  Speaker 3: hot yoga class, you know, like.
• 17:58
  Speaker 4: That was easy, like pushing it into hair. I bled
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: for three days and then I was, I was good
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: to go. I like, I felt fully recovered three days
• 18:05
  Speaker 4: after giving birth. And yeah, and then she slept through
• 18:10
  Speaker 4: the night on her fifth week birthday every night. I know,
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: I like this stup but like and then I had
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: like so I thought, okay, that'll be the same for
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: the second baby. And I know, like everything is bio
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: individual or bioindividual, like every child is. And they say,
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: like they're not cookie cutters, you know, like each kid
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: has their own personality. So I was giving some space
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: for you know, things be a little different. And it
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: was just a complete one eighty experience, so to kind
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: of get into it. We also found in ambellicle vein
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: Verrex on Roman when I was pregnant. Yeah, and it's
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: funny because the whole pregnancy, I said every older song
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: I was like, hey, Lee, look for this, and they're like,
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: it's not genetic, you're not going to have it.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, but like every older song board
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: and anyway they said they said they did, and they
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: didn't find I don't I mean, I don't know that
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: you said it's not genetic, don't worry about it.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: They found one at thirty seven weeks and so then
• 19:10
  Speaker 4: they suggested I get induced, and I was like, Okay,
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: that was great, Let's just do the same thing I
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: did with handar it because it went smooth and it
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: was easy, like all the nurses were angels, like I
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: just so appreciated the medical staff. And it's funny because
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: as someone who considers umself like very holistic wellness, like
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: getting induced is a very medical Western medical experience. So
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: it really is like having both in hand, right and
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: doing all the holistic things, having support for Western medicine
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: and the advancements that we have, and then doing the
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: holistic things after to heal and recover. Right, So we
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: just standwich it. But yeah, I mean the kind of
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: quick highlights of it, Like it's kind of diff I
• 19:57
  Speaker 4: haven't talked about it.
• 19:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, do you want me to ask questions or do
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: you want to like say the story the way.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: You feel most comfortable saying it?
• 20:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah, maybe ask me questions, because I'm gonna.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: Try to tell you I like questions usually.
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: All right, before we go on with your story, I
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: do just want to let the audience know that we'll
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: probably be broaching topics of surgery, just a lot of
• 20:22
  Speaker 2: dramatic events that would happen in a delivery room in
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: an o R. So if you're sensitive with matters like this,
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: it might be best to skip this and I'll use like
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: the spark notes that I have from your posts. So
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: you are in there, you're laboring, and it took it
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: was just taking too long for them to come out.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: And then I remember, and I'm sorry I haven't read
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: it for a few weeks, but I remember you saying
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: something along the lines of your pushing and you're pushing,
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: and it just like you weren't you you were gonna
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: dialog enough, and then that.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: You said, can you check me?
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: And then when they checked you, they said that like
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: it just wasn't he just wasn't ready to be coming out,
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: even though.
• 21:08
  Speaker 3: In some way he was ready to come out.
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah. So with then Dara, I progressed like pretty quickly,
• 21:15
  Speaker 4: like the first being induced, the first like, uh yeah,
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: it was twenty one hours total from when we started
• 21:21
  Speaker 4: the induction to when she was born, an hour and
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: fifteen of pushing. So everyone thought, including my doctor, that
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: and I was dilating at like thirty six weeks. I
• 21:30
  Speaker 4: was already dilating, so we thought he was going to
• 21:31
  Speaker 4: come suit he's gonna come early, and it's gonna come
• 21:33
  Speaker 4: really quick because the second time they tend to drop
• 21:36
  Speaker 4: really fast. Your body knows what to do. So at
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: this point I was being induced and like, I'll have
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: to go back to say the exact time because I'm
• 21:45
  Speaker 4: glad I wrote it all down because now I just
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: have Mommy Braden forget that. I believe it had been
• 21:50
  Speaker 4: thirty two hour or like thirty five hour. I think
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: it was forty hours total, So it was about thirty
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: five hours of me being induced and I only dilated
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: from A one to A five three and I was
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: already a one going in to the hospital, so I'd
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: only gone from a one to three in like thirty
• 22:06
  Speaker 4: five hours. So at that point was two nights to
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: the hospital were and then we're doing.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: Did you have an abidual At this point, no.
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: I did. I was trying to do a natural birth.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Oh ye, paying free, pain free, Yeah yeah, but you
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: didn't do that with Indara.
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: You were like, very, I'm going to have the abidural.
• 22:22
  Speaker 4: Right I made. I was making in douce and I
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: made it to six centimeters and then I was like, hey,
• 22:26
  Speaker 4: can we talk about management?
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: So you're telling me for forty one hours, you're starting
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: to feel the contractions.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: Thirty five hours.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: Thirty five hours, but you had so thirty five hours
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: of feeling pain.
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: So here's the deal. We had done side A zill
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: So I didn't really feel any contractions with that for
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: the first like twenty four hours, and then at twenty
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: four hours, then we because we were taking like SIDEO
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: tech I think it was an oral like Prosta landin
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: to help your cervix like ripen and so nothing really
• 23:01
  Speaker 4: literally happened for like twenty four hours. But then they
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: gave me the balloon, and the balloon was giving me
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: contractions every five minutes. So I was doing that for
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: like six hours, like with no pain management, having like
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: real contractions are I'm like, oh my gosh, like this
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: is going to fall out. It's going to fall out.
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: So they go, I'm like, can we check me? Because
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: I've been doing this for like six hours, like pain
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: full contractions every six minutes. And I will say, like
• 23:23
  Speaker 4: my biggest goal going into this birth was I wanted
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: to experience like the rule the wave of contractions. I
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: just I wanted to do that. Because I only made
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: it to six with and Dara and I didn't really
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: have like hard contractions with her. It was just uncomfortable.
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: And then they just happened to have the guy come
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: and give me the epidol five minutes later, so I
• 23:42
  Speaker 4: was like, oh, okay, that's nice, let's do it. So
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: they go to like take out the balloon, and typically
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: you would you would dilate, it would fall out right
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: when you get to like four five simeters it just
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: falls out, So it hadn't fallen off. We're like, okay,
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: it's an hour. Why So she goes to pull it
• 23:58
  Speaker 4: and it got stuck in me and the top alone,
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: and so from that point I just started bleeding a lot,
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: and things just started to really go down, honestly from
• 24:11
  Speaker 4: that point because it got completely stuck and I was
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: almost screaming in pain and they couldn't get it out
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: and they had to call and Obi to come and
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: deflate it for it to come out. It was like
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: the most painful, like just imagine the ring of fire
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: and you're stuck there for like several minutes like women do.
• 24:29
  Speaker 4: So it was just really painful. And then long story short,
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: flash flash forward, They're like, let's give you the epidural,
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: let's pop your break your water and that should get
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: things going. So it did. So they did that two
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: hours later.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Because they're not going to pop your water without the
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: epidural exactly.
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: Yeah, So at like three in the morning, I was like, okay,
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: let's let's do it. Get the epidural. An hour later
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: they break my water and then two hours later I
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: was ready to push. Okay, So then it really fast. Okay, agree,
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: So with that when they realized I was ten centimeters.
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: But then there was a shift change, so they're like, okay,
• 25:07
  Speaker 4: we have to five minutes until the shift change, so
• 25:10
  Speaker 4: we're going to have new nurses come in. So like
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: my nurses had left and then we're waiting for this
• 25:15
  Speaker 4: to happen, and I could feel rowing, just drop, drop,
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: drop drop. I was like, oh my god, he is
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: going to be born before they these nurses even get
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: in here. Like I can feel him, He's so low,
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: and then all of a sudden, he just stopped. So
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: the nurses came in and then I'm pushing and we
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: all thought just a few pushes he was going to
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: be born.
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: Did they see his head there?
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: They didn't see his head, but I could just feel
• 25:35
  Speaker 4: him so low, right, like Okay. I don't even know
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: if they had checked me, because everyone knew I was
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: ready to push. I think he just came in and
• 25:42
  Speaker 4: we just started pushing. I ended up pushing for three
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: and a half hours, like just under three and a
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: half hours, and at that point, like it was exhausting,
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: and like we were recording it, so I have like
• 25:52
  Speaker 4: all this video footage of me, and like I was
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: going back and reviewing it. Well, I think what felt
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: hard was Look, I'm so appreciative of the nurses and
• 26:03
  Speaker 4: the midwife that was there. I do feel and like
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: my message to like any woman like getting induced is
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: like try not to get duced, but if you have
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: to get induced, like you just need to have someone
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: advocating for you. Because the first question Miobi said was
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: you shouldn't have pushed for so long.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: Well, I was wondering where was your Where was the Obi?
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: The Obi wasn't there. The midwife was delivering with an
• 26:25
  Speaker 4: assistant nurse.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: Okay, I also delivered with my midwife because I had
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: such a good relationship with her that she was the
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: one who like pulled her out, both of them out. Yeah,
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: you pulled both boys out, but I did have then
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Obi in the room with both of them as well.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, my so my Obi, my last two weeks my pregnancy,
• 26:42
  Speaker 4: she had a medical family emergency, so she was out
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: and so yeah, it did seem like all things that
• 26:49
  Speaker 4: could go wrong were starting to go wrong. So she
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: wasn't there, so it was just someone I didn't know,
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: and at the hospital, I delivered. Midwives deliver and then
• 26:58
  Speaker 4: if the Obi needs to come in, she'll come in, Okay.
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: So anyways, like kind of the quick version is, I
• 27:04
  Speaker 4: was on a gas mask. I was basically like feeling
• 27:08
  Speaker 4: extremely woozy, like on the verge of passing out, and
• 27:11
  Speaker 4: I was pushing every like three contractions.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: But you're still being pain free because they have a girl, yes, yeah.
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: But I was just in this. I was extremely weak
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: and like you see footage of me wearing an oxygen mask,
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: like trying to push. I had no energy. And then
• 27:28
  Speaker 4: finally I was like and I kept asking the midwife.
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: I was like, hey, can you check him, Like I
• 27:33
  Speaker 4: feel like he's not moving, and she's like she would
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: check me. She goes, oh, we moved just a teeny
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: tiny bit, like keep going, And I know she was
• 27:40
  Speaker 4: giving me words of encouragement, but I actually don't think
• 27:43
  Speaker 4: she was being honest with me because he wasn't moving.
• 27:47
  Speaker 4: Because when I finally was like three hours and twenty minutes,
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: I go, Okay, he's not coming. I know that. Can
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: you have the midwife come in to see if we
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: can vacuum him out? Because that's what the midwife suggested,
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: So she came in and checked me, and as she
• 28:00
  Speaker 4: checked me, she said that he was stuck in my pelvist.
• 28:04
  Speaker 4: So this whole time he'd been stuck.
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: But this is a different, different or same girl.
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: This is the ob So the midwife was delivering, so
• 28:11
  Speaker 4: she went to go get the o B came in
• 28:13
  Speaker 4: to check me to see if we could just vacuum
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: and pull him out. And like me, I'm a holistic person,
• 28:17
  Speaker 4: like I'm not for a vacuum okay, but that's the
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: point we were at there. I'm like, he's not coming.
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would be like roll me into the r
• 28:26
  Speaker 2: After two hours, we needed intervention.
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: So she came in and checked me and she goes,
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: he's he's so low, but his positioning he's stuck. So
• 28:37
  Speaker 4: she goes, I'm gonna try to rotate him. So she
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: stuck her hand in and grabbed him and was trying
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: to rotate him, and at this point I kind of
• 28:46
  Speaker 4: blacked out. Yeah, I don't know if I screamed or what.
• 28:48
  Speaker 4: It was extremely Yeah, imagine a hand going up and
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: grabbing your baby and rotating them. And when she pulled
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: her hand out, it was blood, right, blood gushed out, blood,
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: all this blood and clots and so at that point
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: it was code pink. And all these medical staff came
• 29:08
  Speaker 4: in and were wheeling me into the R while trying
• 29:11
  Speaker 4: to have me sign paperwork.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: What's Miles doing?
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: I think, just setting there in shock, you know, like
• 29:20
  Speaker 4: I knew something was wrong, and I think so. We
• 29:23
  Speaker 4: don't know if her trying to rotate him had caused
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: my uterus to rupture or if it had ruptured before,
• 29:31
  Speaker 4: because my energy, like I was fading very fast and
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: had been for a while. So yeah, that being in
• 29:41
  Speaker 4: the o R was extremely traumatic. Definitely the most horrific
• 29:48
  Speaker 4: thing I've been through.
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: I'm just so sorry you had to go through this.
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: I remember reading the post and feeling weak, like actually
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: feeling like I have to just so and I see
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: it so visually the way that you explain it, and
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: it's such a nightmare, and I'm so so sorry that
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: you had to go through this and that you are
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: being just like such a toughee going and explaining this
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: to us right now.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: You know, it's just it's uh, I like to I'm
• 30:30
  Speaker 4: happy to talk about him, to come on the podcast
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: to talk about it, because like going in, I was
• 30:34
  Speaker 4: so against the section, didn't want to see section. And
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: I heard a lot of stories of like emergency sea
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: sections and a lot of moms saying like, hey, like
• 30:40
  Speaker 4: now I love this scar because it saved my baby,
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: and I'm like I could never. I could never you know,
• 30:45
  Speaker 4: like my body having a huge scar, and now like
• 30:47
  Speaker 4: I went through this experience and I do feel so
• 30:50
  Speaker 4: tremendously grateful, and I've had to do a lot of
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: emotional work around because seeing the scar and just recovering
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: from a sea section, especially in an emergency, because they're pulling
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: all your organs out of your body like I And
• 31:05
  Speaker 4: to go back to that, I think like important thing
• 31:09
  Speaker 4: to talk about is like you're just really manhandled extremely hard,
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: and so the recovery is so much harder. But like
• 31:17
  Speaker 4: for Miles, well for me, like the stand the stand
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: standing like hardest part was like it felt like people
• 31:26
  Speaker 4: were like punching my upper stomach and they were, and
• 31:30
  Speaker 4: so I didn't know this was Miles. I thought it
• 31:33
  Speaker 4: was the anesthesiologist, but I was actually like convulsing off
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: of the table and shake and like just moving like
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: this because they were cutting and then pulling. People on
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: both sides were pulling you open. People were punching my
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: upper stomach. And then because he was so low, someone
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: had to go in through my vagina and push him
• 31:56
  Speaker 4: higher because they couldn't get him out, and so they
• 32:00
  Speaker 4: had to cut into my left rectice abdominus horizontally because
• 32:04
  Speaker 4: they could my abs were too tight to pull him through.
• 32:07
  Speaker 4: And then from there he was vacuum suctioned out of
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: me through the cut through the say section. And so
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: the big issue is of why this was an emergency
• 32:17
  Speaker 4: was because because of how long he was in my telvis,
• 32:20
  Speaker 4: because of the induction, because of all the medicine like
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: potocin that I was on, because of just his positioning
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: my uterus ruptured and causing an emergency situation where we
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: didn't know if he was going to make it because
• 32:35
  Speaker 4: of was he following blood, did he have oxygen? And
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: he had like things I hadn't shared is like his
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: placenta had prematurely detached from the uterus and that's where
• 32:47
  Speaker 4: they get you know, their nutrients in their oxygen, right,
• 32:49
  Speaker 4: so that had been pre detached and they had to yeah,
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: push him out and then they just took him and
• 32:56
  Speaker 4: wheeled them away and took him to another hospital.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: Oh my god.
• 33:00
  Speaker 4: So I didn't know like that minute, like waiting for
• 33:04
  Speaker 4: him to cry, like is he okay? Like how long?
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: At what point did the uterus rupture? Like how much blood?
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: And because of his positioning, it was keeping the blood
• 33:15
  Speaker 4: from coming out of me. So again we didn't know
• 33:17
  Speaker 4: how long he'd been in what kind of.
• 33:20
  Speaker 3: State and did he he did he make any sounds?
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: So after like forty five seconds he cried for the
• 33:26
  Speaker 4: first time. But I mean it was a full blown
• 33:28
  Speaker 4: emergency situation. And so once he was delivered and we
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: heard him cry, they wield him up to nick you
• 33:35
  Speaker 4: to put him into a state of therapeutic hypothermia to
• 33:39
  Speaker 4: assess to stop any potential brain damage that could have happened.
• 33:44
  Speaker 4: Because they did his first app ar test it was
• 33:46
  Speaker 4: a two out of ten.
• 33:47
  Speaker 3: What's the app dar does I remember? What's the testing?
• 33:51
  Speaker 4: I don't remember brain activity yeah, I think it's like receptivity,
• 33:55
  Speaker 4: like how I can't speak to it. But it's like
• 33:58
  Speaker 4: the first test they do out of it's out of ten,
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: and he was a two out of ten. And then
• 34:03
  Speaker 4: they ran his gas levels and he was borderline but
• 34:09
  Speaker 4: just over the border of the of his oxygen was
• 34:13
  Speaker 4: really really low, so they thought there could be brain damage,
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: so they put him on took him away to put
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: him on ice, basically into a yeah state of hypothermic hypothermia.
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: So were they doing this at the hospital that you
• 34:27
  Speaker 3: were at or did?
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: And then that's how they sent him in the ambulance.
• 34:33
  Speaker 4: So they wheeled him away to nick you and started
• 34:36
  Speaker 4: this treatments and I told Miles like go with, go
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: with and go with him. And then they put me
• 34:41
  Speaker 4: under to repair my uterus. So then I went completely under.
• 34:44
  Speaker 4: And when I was going under, this whole time, I
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: was just praying. I was just like, please God say
• 34:49
  Speaker 4: my uteru. It's like, please God say my uterus and
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: my baby of course, but like once he was out,
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: it was just like, please say this. And they didn't
• 34:56
  Speaker 4: know if they were going to be able to because
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: the sergeant told me my uterus how it had robbed.
• 35:01
  Speaker 4: She not just like a clean cut, like when they
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: do an incision, it's like just a clean cut. She
• 35:06
  Speaker 4: said it was roadkill. It had completely just exploded and
• 35:11
  Speaker 4: they weren't able to put it together and it wasn't
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: holding stitches, so they put me under. They called in
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: a specialist who, like a miracle, happened to be ten
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: minutes away, and she was able to come with the attendance.
• 35:23
  Speaker 3: Of anatomy stuff.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: It truly was we're just going to call on the specialist,
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: so happens to be ten minutes away.
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: I mean, just like a miracle, and they were able
• 35:33
  Speaker 4: to save my uterus, which I'm so extremely grateful for,
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: and you know, that whole experience is so yeah. So
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: then when I when they woke me up, I mean
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: it was extremely traumatic, Like me and miles of seeing
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: each other, we just broke down sobbing, crying. I couldn't
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: move because of all the I had like three different incisions,
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: like internally point three different points of incisions, and I
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: mean we just teld each other and started crying. And
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: then they were like they were like I was just
• 36:05
  Speaker 4: in a hallway, you know, like coming to be And
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: that was a really crazy experience of we're just sitting
• 36:14
  Speaker 4: there like waiting for news on like is our son
• 36:17
  Speaker 4: going to be okay? Like is there brain damage? Is
• 36:20
  Speaker 4: he going to make it? And then they told us
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: that they're going to transfer him to another hospital. So
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: they did wheel him down in an incubator and I
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: couldn't even sit up though, because I was just cut
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: in half. So I just got to stick at my
• 36:36
  Speaker 4: finger and have him like hold my finger through the incubator,
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: and like we took a picture and that was like
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: my first moment, like meeting my baby. And then they
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: took him to a hospital. So just the first forty
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: eight hours was I couldn't leave the hospital, you know,
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: because of the state I was in, and so we
• 36:57
  Speaker 4: were luckily able to view him through a life feed camera.
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, the hospital.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: So sad and so special. It's like that is such
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: an emotional statement, I know.
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and just like all the wires on his head
• 37:12
  Speaker 4: and the helmet and you're like, this is a little
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: baby and he's like in a diaper, like in an
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: ice matt like basically, like it was really hard because
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: it goes against everything the baby should experience, you know.
• 37:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. Well, now
• 37:30
  Speaker 3: let's let's fast forward to where you guys are today.
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: Everybody's good. It truly was an insane miracle.
• 37:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: The fact that your body had to be manipular like
• 37:42
  Speaker 2: that to get him out, and like everyone is just
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: in recovery mode.
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: Now, hmm, is really something I.
• 37:50
  Speaker 4: Think like going through that, you know, like as soon
• 37:52
  Speaker 4: as I was home, uh, and then as soon as
• 37:56
  Speaker 4: like we just spent the nine hours a day at
• 37:58
  Speaker 4: nick you yeaing up going and spending the day in
• 38:01
  Speaker 4: a queue, and like balancing that with another kid who
• 38:03
  Speaker 4: really needs you, yeah, and doesn't understand what's going on,
• 38:09
  Speaker 4: that was super tricky. But like once we got Rowan home,
• 38:13
  Speaker 4: it was like I don't want to go anywhere. You
• 38:16
  Speaker 4: just want to be home with my baby. And he
• 38:18
  Speaker 4: skinned to skin and so you know, I felt like, hey,
• 38:22
  Speaker 4: at some point, I just need to take this experience
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: and put it in a box on a shelf because
• 38:27
  Speaker 4: I'm so grateful that we're both here and safe and
• 38:31
  Speaker 4: can finally like have our time together. So I felt
• 38:36
  Speaker 4: that I did have to kind of put this away
• 38:39
  Speaker 4: until I was just in a place where I was
• 38:41
  Speaker 4: ready to process everything. Yes, my evers I'm talking about it.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: Is still in the box because I know that I
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: do not want to speak for Jade, but she also
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: had a dramatic birth, so did Raven. Not to freak
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: everyone out here that we've had to a handful of
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: bachelor dramatic births, but I know that with Jade it
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: kind of crept up later in the year. Yeah, and
• 39:08
  Speaker 2: took a toll on her mental health.
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I think women a lot of women have DM
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: me saying it took years for them to really address it.
• 39:16
  Speaker 4: I will say like, yeah, this is my first time
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: talking about it. So it did like bring up definitely
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: some emotions, Like ahead of this interview, whe I'm like,
• 39:24
  Speaker 4: oh my gosh, we're going to talk about I hadn't
• 39:26
  Speaker 4: actually talked The only time I've really talked about it
• 39:28
  Speaker 4: was when I wrote the post and then I just
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: and then I just directed people to it. I was like,
• 39:33
  Speaker 4: this is it, Like, this is the whole story, like
• 39:36
  Speaker 4: and it was very therapeutic to write it. So this
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: will be something I'm going to hash out in therapy.
• 39:40
  Speaker 4: But you know, it also is important for women to
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: talk about it because some like sometimes we just don't
• 39:47
  Speaker 4: know what our experience is going to be and hearing
• 39:51
  Speaker 4: stories and kind of preparing ourselves and knowing like, hey,
• 39:54
  Speaker 4: when you get to three hours of pushing, like that's
• 39:58
  Speaker 4: too long, Like yeah, you it's too long. Two hours
• 40:01
  Speaker 4: is too long. So I just wish I would have
• 40:05
  Speaker 4: known a little bit more about that, like so that
• 40:08
  Speaker 4: I could have advocated for myself more. But I was
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: so against getting a C section. I was willing to
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: keep pushing. And now like my perse my wisdom is
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: now different, right.
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: Yes, I wanted to add something in there about that.
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: My sister because of her baby, was breach and I
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: mean he was just sitting really tight and comfy in
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: the opposite direction, and yeah, they were like you're gonna
• 40:32
  Speaker 2: have uh, you're definitely gonna need a sea section.
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: So she got one.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: And because it's not an emergency sea section, and she
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: did go like along with the advice, she had the
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: greatest experience. And this is not like and I say, like,
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: because she went, you were never really you know what
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: I mean.
• 40:50
  Speaker 4: It's completely different. An emergency CEA section versus scheduled city
• 40:53
  Speaker 4: section are completely different.
• 40:54
  Speaker 2: That's what I'm doing, That's what I want to like
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: convey here, is that like, if you're out there pregnant
• 40:58
  Speaker 2: and you're being told that you have to have the
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: sea section, it's like, if it is scheduled, it can
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: be so smooth and such a delightful experience. She was
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: walking around a day later she recovered in an honestly
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: of a weird way because she was like decorating his
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: room when he was a couple of weeks earlier, Just
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: like decorating his room when she got back and walking
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: around and like living a normal life, and it was
• 41:23
  Speaker 2: like bizarre to see a major abdominal surgery that to
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: heal from it so amazingly. But like, just if you
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: get news that you might need a see section, it
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: is not an awful thing. If it's scheduled, it can
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: be a wonderful thing.
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: And like, honestly, I'm like, if I would have known
• 41:40
  Speaker 4: the birth was gonna go this way, which section got, Yeah,
• 41:47
  Speaker 4: Like you're totally I love that you made that point,
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: because I think we can feel like, oh, if I'm
• 41:52
  Speaker 4: not breastfeeding, I'm a failure. If I have to, I'm
• 41:55
  Speaker 4: a failure, and I'm not, and it can be a
• 41:57
  Speaker 4: really beautiful, great experience. And so I will just say
• 42:01
  Speaker 4: on that I had an emergency c section. It was
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: completely different, and I made it. I've survived, and I'm
• 42:07
  Speaker 4: feeling great. Yes, And you know, we women are tough.
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: We're meant to do hard things.
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: So tough.
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: How is big sister and Dara adjusting? Speaking of little women.
• 42:19
  Speaker 4: She's doing great. You know right now she's reading or
• 42:23
  Speaker 4: like learning to read, and she's writing her letters. So
• 42:27
  Speaker 4: I think that has just given her so much confidence
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: and helps her feel like I'm not a baby. I'm
• 42:32
  Speaker 4: not trying to compare myself to a baby and fight
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: for a baby. I'm getting attention in other ways. Yeah,
• 42:38
  Speaker 4: so she's great, But you know, I think initially there
• 42:41
  Speaker 4: was just it was really hard on everyone. So that
• 42:48
  Speaker 4: was tough having like an older child to attend to
• 42:52
  Speaker 4: and care for. But it's just the important stuff I
• 42:57
  Speaker 4: thank God for, like my in laws who just support.
• 43:00
  Speaker 3: Going to ask go with you much.
• 43:02
  Speaker 4: Yeah, my mother in law came in where I'm like,
• 43:04
  Speaker 4: you're gonna stay, Like we're gonna be in the hotel,
• 43:06
  Speaker 4: like one night, it's gonna be quick, easy delivery six.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: Days later, oh my goodness.
• 43:12
  Speaker 4: So yeah, like have your support people leading to your
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: support people, and yeah, it takes a village, like, we're
• 43:18
  Speaker 4: not meant to do this on our own.
• 43:19
  Speaker 3: No, not at all.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, So that is kind of all I have.
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: As far as you talking about your pregnancy and delivery,
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: I'm really really grateful that you felt comfortable enough with
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: me to do this here, and I just want you
• 43:42
  Speaker 2: to enjoy that baby and to relax. Is there anything
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: else you want to talk.
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: About before we let you go?
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Motherhood's amazing and as difficult as our experiences in
• 43:53
  Speaker 4: it can be, it's so worth it to all the
• 43:56
  Speaker 4: women afraid of pregnancy and afraid of being moms that
• 43:59
  Speaker 4: they'll lose themselves in and lose their bodies. Like who
• 44:02
  Speaker 4: you find, who you become on the other side of
• 44:05
  Speaker 4: it is so amazing, And I mean, it really is
• 44:08
  Speaker 4: the tough stuff that define us and make us really
• 44:12
  Speaker 4: appreciate like who would become? Miles told me this quote
• 44:16
  Speaker 4: that he had heard. I can't quote who said it,
• 44:18
  Speaker 4: but like, when before God made David king, who did
• 44:22
  Speaker 4: he what did he give him as a challenge Goliath?
• 44:26
  Speaker 4: Before he could become king? He had to fight Goliath?
• 44:29
  Speaker 4: And like, so it's these difficult things really shape us,
• 44:33
  Speaker 4: and I as hard as it was. I wouldn't trade
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: it for anything and love who I've become. It's made
• 44:39
  Speaker 4: me appreciate my family, lean into my husband, like there's
• 44:42
  Speaker 4: just so much beauty on the other side of hard things.
• 44:46
  Speaker 4: So I just really want to encourage women to, you know,
• 44:48
  Speaker 4: not be afraid of that.
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: I love that.
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: Thank you for saying that. And also I do I
• 44:54
  Speaker 2: do remember now that we talked about addressing the experience
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: of your family and whether that's something that you still
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: want on the table now that they advise that you wouldn't.
• 45:04
  Speaker 3: Be able to carry the baby.
• 45:06
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so they did tell me that because of my surgery.
• 45:09
  Speaker 4: So when we're in the hallway, the surgeon came out
• 45:11
  Speaker 4: and told me that my uterus was roadkill. We become roadkill,
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: and due to the severity of it, that she strongly
• 45:22
  Speaker 4: advises that I not get pregnant again because they don't
• 45:24
  Speaker 4: know if my uterus would be able to maintain the
• 45:27
  Speaker 4: integrity of the stitches, and because it was the length
• 45:33
  Speaker 4: of my entire uterus that it split. So that was
• 45:37
  Speaker 4: really hard hearing that we won't be able to get
• 45:39
  Speaker 4: pregnant again, because the plan was to get pregnant within
• 45:42
  Speaker 4: a year of giving birth to row in. So I
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: have recently kind of given away the baby girl clothes
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: I've been holding on for this other little girl. I've
• 45:52
  Speaker 4: been hoping, would you know, yeah, come into our life,
• 45:55
  Speaker 4: but also feeling I just don't know what God's plan
• 45:59
  Speaker 4: is going to be for us, like if there will
• 46:00
  Speaker 4: be a third yes, No, I don't know, and he
• 46:03
  Speaker 4: has the beauty in life. It's like, we don't know,
• 46:05
  Speaker 4: and you know, so I'm just really surrendering to what
• 46:09
  Speaker 4: that chapter is going to look like for us. And
• 46:11
  Speaker 4: so I've been releasing all the baby stuff and just
• 46:14
  Speaker 4: know like I don't want to hold onto that energy.
• 46:17
  Speaker 4: I just want to keep it open, fluid and moving.
• 46:19
  Speaker 4: So we'll see, all right, we will all right.
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: Well, it just I feel like I need to like
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: hug you or this is a very weird thing to
• 46:28
  Speaker 2: do to just leave this interview by being like, so
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: I'm going to press the end button on zoom.
• 46:33
  Speaker 4: You know, send me some pictures when you're at.
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, gracious, anything that you have about his
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: personality that you can already see. It's hard in three
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: months in but in three months is when you start
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: to see like maybe a little smile, anything, that you
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: like want to share that is a delight about him
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: right now?
• 46:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, yeah, I mean he's smiling and he's
• 47:04
  Speaker 4: beginning to just kind of talk and like who back
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: with us? And you know, we've done so much testing
• 47:10
  Speaker 4: on him, we had to take him to so many
• 47:12
  Speaker 4: neurology appointments, and he's perfect.
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: They say, I mean that's just awesome, just so so odd.
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: Yes it is. I'm just I'm just so grateful, you know,
• 47:22
  Speaker 4: like being a boy mom is and a girl mom
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: is just it's everything I could have ever asked for.
• 47:28
  Speaker 3: Wait till he gives you the boy kisses.
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: Because my sister was so funny because she was she
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: loves to watch Dawson when he does his bedtime routine,
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: like via the camera, and she's like watching him like
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: just some mother me with affection. And she's like, what's
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: that age that Freud said that boys are like in
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: love with their mothers. And she's like, I think he's
• 47:53
  Speaker 2: there right now, and then I look it up and
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: it's like three to five, so he's back in the
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: middle of that and like he just ones he like
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: pet my face and like stroke my hair and just
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: like grab me and like be like like the biggest
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: most like dramatic kisses.
• 48:11
  Speaker 4: They're hilarious, so sweet, I hear. Boys they just will
• 48:15
  Speaker 4: always love their moms. Yeah, I always love them. Wonderful.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: It's a wonderful thing and I'm glad that you get
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: to experience that. And then everybody is just doing so well.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: So I love to you, guys, Say hi to miles
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: from me and I will hopefully talk to you sooner
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: than this past gap in speak.
• 48:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and send me those pictures.
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: Obviously, like there's been messages here and there, but like
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: you know what I mean. Alrighty love that.
• 48:42
  Speaker 4: All right, great to see girl.
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: Bye, see you all right, guys. Until next time. I've
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: been Ashley.
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: Follow the Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: iHeartRadio or subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.