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The Truth About Your Circumstances That Nobody Tells You · Your Utmost Life

• 0:00
  Misty Celli: I want to start today with something I think you've said recently.
• 0:03
  Misty Celli: Maybe out loud to someone who asked why you haven't prioritized yourself yet.
• 0:07
  Misty Celli: Maybe just in your own head in that quiet eternal accounting you do when you're honest with yourself about why things haven't changed.
• 0:15
  Misty Celli: It sounds something like this.
• 0:17
  Misty Celli: Now just isn't the right time.
• 0:19
  Misty Celli: My kids need me, my husband needs me, the finances aren't there.
• 0:23
  Misty Celli: The schedule won't allow it.
• 0:25
  Misty Celli: Once things settle down, once the season's passed, once the kids are older, once work calms down, once life gives me a little more room, then I'll do the work.
• 0:36
  Misty Celli: Then I'll focus on myself.
• 0:38
  Misty Celli: Then I hear you.
• 0:40
  Misty Celli: And I want you to know I'm not going to tell you that your circumstances aren't real, because they are.
• 0:45
  Misty Celli: Every single one of them.
• 0:47
  Misty Celli: The kids, the schedule, the finances, the season you are in, all of it's real and all of it matters.
• 0:53
  Misty Celli: However, here's the truth about your circumstances that nobody tells you.
• 0:58
  Misty Celli: And I mean nobody, not the self-help books, not the Instagram posts, not the well-meaning friends who tell you to just put yourself first.
• 1:06
  Misty Celli: Your circumstances are real.
• 1:09
  Misty Celli: And they are not the reason.
• 1:12
  Misty Celli: They never were.
• 1:13
  Misty Celli: If you are tired of feeling like you don't know who you are anymore, and when you look in the mirror, you catch yourself thinking, is this all there is?
• 1:20
  Misty Celli: Even though you know you were made for more, you're in the right place.
• 1:24
  Misty Celli: I'm Misty Celli, and I help women step into their highest potential and design a life that feels true, rich, and deeply satisfying.
• 1:32
  Misty Celli: A life built by design, not by default.
• 1:34
  Misty Celli: On this podcast, you will learn the principles and strategic tools that create real lasting transformation in your health, your relationships, your confidence, your goals, and the deeper parts of you like purpose, growth, love, and parenting.
• 1:47
  Misty Celli: This is where you begin the process of becoming your utmost self and reclaiming a life that feels like yours again.
• 1:53
  Misty Celli: Welcome to your utmost life podcast.
• 1:55
  Misty Celli: Before you say anything, I want to honor something.
• 1:58
  Misty Celli: The reason you've been waiting for the right circumstances isn't laziness.
• 2:02
  Misty Celli: It isn't lack of desire.
• 2:04
  Misty Celli: It isn't even fear.
• 2:05
  Misty Celli: Exactly.
• 2:06
  Misty Celli: Though fear is part of it, but it's love.
• 2:09
  Misty Celli: It is the love of a woman who cares so deeply about the people in her life that she has made their needs, their stability, their well-being the primary condition of her own becoming.
• 2:20
  Misty Celli: You have been waiting because you love them.
• 2:23
  Misty Celli: And that love is real and it's beautiful.
• 2:26
  Misty Celli: And I'm not asking you to question it for a single second.
• 2:30
  Misty Celli: However, I am going to ask you to question something else today.
• 2:34
  Misty Celli: Not your love, but your logic.
• 2:37
  Misty Celli: Because I think the logic that says I can't do this until my circumstances allow it, have been protecting you from something.
• 2:46
  Misty Celli: And what it's been protecting you from, and what it's been protecting you from, is not the chaos you're afraid of creating.
• 2:53
  Misty Celli: It's been protecting you from hope, from the vulnerability of wanting something fully and risking the disappointment of not getting it, from the terrifying, exhilarating possibility that the life you actually want might be available to you right now, in the middle of these circumstances, without waiting for anything to change first.
• 3:15
  Misty Celli: That is a lot to hold.
• 3:17
  Misty Celli: Therefore, take a breath.
• 3:19
  Misty Celli: And let's look at this together.
• 3:21
  Misty Celli: Here is what I think has been happening inside you, and I want you to feel how close this lands.
• 3:28
  Misty Celli: You look at your life and you see the fullness of it.
• 3:31
  Misty Celli: The needs that are real, the people who are counting on you, the schedule that genuinely is packed, the finances that genuinely have limits, and you think, how could I possibly add one more thing to this?
• 3:45
  Misty Celli: How could I justify spending time or money or energy on myself when there is so much that still needs me?
• 3:52
  Misty Celli: And therefore, you wait responsibly, lovingly, patiently, and the waiting becomes its own kind of life.
• 4:01
  Misty Celli: A life organized entirely around the conditions that will one day make your own becoming possible.
• 4:07
  Misty Celli: A life where you are always almost ready, always one season away from the right time, always on the verge of the circumstances that will finally give you permission to begin.
• 4:19
  Misty Celli: However, here's what I want to gently, firmly, lovingly point out.
• 4:25
  Misty Celli: The circumstances keep changing, and the right time keeps moving, because the right time was never really about the circumstances.
• 4:35
  Misty Celli: It was about something underneath them.
• 4:38
  Misty Celli: It was about a belief, a fear, a story that has been running and using your circumstances as its most convincing costume.
• 4:47
  Misty Celli: And until you look underneath the circumstances, and until you see what's actually been running the delay, you will be waiting for a season season that never quite arrives.
• 4:58
  Misty Celli: I want to tell you about a season in my own life where I use the most loving, most legitimate, most completely believable excuse I ever had.
• 5:08
  Misty Celli: My kids were moving into a middle school and headed toward high school.
• 5:11
  Misty Celli: And if you know anything about that season of parenting, you know it's not the time when children need less.
• 5:18
  Misty Celli: It is the time when they need you differently, more visibly, more steadily, with a presence that says, I am here.
• 5:26
  Misty Celli: No matter what, no matter the mistake, no matter the emotion, you can always count on me.
• 5:32
  Misty Celli: And I wanted to be that for them with everything I had.
• 5:37
  Misty Celli: So I made sure I was always available, always reachable, and always ready to drop everything the moment that they needed me.
• 5:45
  Misty Celli: I kept myself in a kind of perpetual standby mode, never fully present with myself because I wanted to ensure that if the moment arrived, I could be fully present for them.
• 5:56
  Misty Celli: My heart was completely in the right place.
• 5:59
  Misty Celli: And I want to be honest about that because this is not a story about a mother who was wrong to love her children fiercely.
• 6:05
  Misty Celli: It is a story about a mother who had the right love and the wrong logic.
• 6:10
  Misty Celli: Because here is what I discovered when I finally paused.
• 6:14
  Misty Celli: When I stopped moving long enough to actually reflect on what I was doing and why, it wasn't them, it was me.
• 6:22
  Misty Celli: I wasn't holding myself in standby because they needed it.
• 6:25
  Misty Celli: I was holding myself in standby because I was afraid.
• 6:45
  Misty Celli: However, when I got still enough to really look at that fear, and when I examined it honestly instead of just obeying it, I realized something that shifted everything.
• 6:57
  Misty Celli: They already knew who I was.
• 7:00
  Misty Celli: The years of showing up, of loving them through everything, of being the mother I had committed to being, that foundation was already laid.
• 7:09
  Misty Celli: They knew my character, they knew my love.
• 7:12
  Misty Celli: They didn't need me to freeze myself in a place to prove it.
• 7:16
  Misty Celli: And furthermore, here is the part that changed me most deeply.
• 7:19
  Misty Celli: What they needed from me in that season was not self-sacrifice, it was guidance.
• 7:27
  Misty Celli: And guidance is not demonstrated by setting yourself aside.
• 7:31
  Misty Celli: Guidance is demonstrated by showing them what it looks like to live fully, to know yourself, to love yourself with the same unconditionality you offer them.
• 7:41
  Misty Celli: I realized, sitting with that truth, that in trying to be everything for them, by being nothing for myself, I was teaching them the wrong lesson, not intentionally, and not because I didn't love them enough, but because I had confused self-sacrifice with love and hadn't yet understood that they are not the same thing.
• 8:02
  Misty Celli: Self-sacrifice says, I matter less than you.
• 8:06
  Misty Celli: Love says, we both matter, and I'm going to show you what that love looks like.
• 8:12
  Misty Celli: My circumstances were real.
• 8:14
  Misty Celli: My kids were real.
• 8:16
  Misty Celli: The season was real.
• 8:17
  Misty Celli: However, the belief that season required me to pause on myself, that was not real.
• 8:24
  Misty Celli: That was a story my fear was telling in my love's voice.
• 8:28
  Misty Celli: And it was so convincing that I almost believed it for longer than I should have.
• 8:33
  Misty Celli: Here is what nobody tells you about circumstances, and I mean this as the most important thing I will say today.
• 8:39
  Misty Celli: Circumstances are the context of your life.
• 8:43
  Misty Celli: They are not the author of it.
• 8:45
  Misty Celli: That distinction sounds simple.
• 8:47
  Misty Celli: However, I want you to really sit with it because the difference between those two things, context versus author, is the difference between a woman who is waiting for her life to give her permission and a woman who understands that permission was always hers to give herself.
• 9:02
  Misty Celli: Your circumstances, the kids, husband, finances, the schedule, they are real.
• 9:08
  Misty Celli: They create real constraints, demands, complexity.
• 9:12
  Misty Celli: And I'm not dismissing any of that.
• 9:15
  Misty Celli: However, here's what circumstances cannot do.
• 9:18
  Misty Celli: They cannot decide what you believe about yourself.
• 9:23
  Misty Celli: They cannot determine whether you think you're worth the work.
• 9:26
  Misty Celli: They cannot choose whether you trust yourself to navigate change without losing the people you love.
• 9:32
  Misty Celli: They cannot make the decision about who you are becoming.
• 9:36
  Misty Celli: Those things, every single one of them, belong to you, not to your schedule, not to your bank account, not to the season that your children are in, but to you.
• 9:48
  Misty Celli: Therefore, when you say my circumstances won't allow it right now, what you're actually saying underneath the circumstances is something closer to this.
• 9:59
  Misty Celli: I don't fully believe that I can do this without something breaking.
• 10:03
  Misty Celli: I don't yet trust that the people I love will still be okay if I take up space for myself.
• 10:09
  Misty Celli: I don't yet believe that I am worth the disruption.
• 10:12
  Misty Celli: And those beliefs, not your circumstances, are what have been keeping you waiting.
• 10:18
  Misty Celli: However, here's what I know with absolute certainty because I've walked this, because I have watched women walk this, because I have seen what happens on the other side of the waiting.
• 10:29
  Misty Celli: Your circumstances do not need to change for you to begin.
• 10:33
  Misty Celli: You need to change how you see your circumstances.
• 10:37
  Misty Celli: And that shift from my life won't allow it to I am the variable that determines this.
• 10:45
  Misty Celli: That is not a shift that requires a different schedule or a different season or a different set of conditions.
• 10:52
  Misty Celli: It requires a decision made right now in the middle of exactly the life you have.
• 10:59
  Misty Celli: I want to offer you a reframe that I think is going to sit with you long after this episode ends.
• 11:06
  Misty Celli: You have been thinking about this work, the work of coming back to yourself, of reclaiming your identity, of becoming the woman you know yourself to be, as something you add to your life, something you fit in, something that requires room that your current circumstances don't have.
• 11:27
  Misty Celli: However, what if that's backwards?
• 11:30
  Misty Celli: What if this work is not something you add to your life, but something that changes the foundation everything else is built on?
• 11:39
  Misty Celli: What if becoming more fully yourself doesn't require more room in your life, but actually creates more capacity within it?
• 11:45
  Misty Celli: Because here is what I have seen in my own life and in the lives of women who have done this work completely rather than stopping halfway.
• 11:52
  Misty Celli: The woman who knows who she is moves through her circumstances differently.
• 11:56
  Misty Celli: She makes decisions more clearly, she shows up in her relationships more fully, she parents from a place of groundedness rather than anxiety, and she loves from fullness rather than debt.
• 12:09
  Misty Celli: Her circumstances don't change, her foundation does, and a different foundation changes everything about how the same circumstances feel to stand in.
• 12:18
  Misty Celli: Furthermore, think about what you are modeling for your children right now.
• 12:22
  Misty Celli: In this season, with these specific kids who are watching everything you do and learning from it at a cellular level what it means to be a woman, a mother, a human being who matters, what are they learning from your waiting?
• 12:36
  Misty Celli: What lesson does your perpetual standby mode teach them about their own worth, about whether the people who love them most believe that they deserve to be fully alive?
• 12:46
  Misty Celli: You were put in their lives not just to love them, but to show them.
• 12:50
  Misty Celli: And the most powerful thing you can show them is a woman who chose herself, not instead of them, for them.
• 12:58
  Misty Celli: Because she understood that her becoming was the greatest gift she could give them.
• 13:02
  Misty Celli: That is the lesson they need, and you are the only person who can teach it.
• 13:07
  Misty Celli: I want you to imagine a specific moment not far from now that I think that you've been afraid to let yourself picture.
• 13:13
  Misty Celli: You're in the middle of your life, the same kids, the same husband, the same full and complicated and beautiful life.
• 13:20
  Misty Celli: Nothing dramatic has changed.
• 13:22
  Misty Celli: The circumstances are largely the same.
• 13:25
  Misty Celli: However, you are different.
• 13:27
  Misty Celli: Not in a way that anyone can immediately name, but in a way that everyone around you can feel.
• 13:34
  Misty Celli: There is a groundedness to you that wasn't there before, a clarity, a sense of a woman who knows where she stands and therefore doesn't need to keep checking whether the ground is still there.
• 13:46
  Misty Celli: Your teenage daughter comes to you with something hard, something that she's been carrying.
• 13:50
  Misty Celli: And instead of coming to you carefully, testing the waters, checking whether this is a good time, wondering whether you can handle it, she just comes directly fully because she knows that without thinking about it, that you are already there, not in standby, but actually there, with enough of yourself intact to hold her without losing your footing.
• 14:14
  Misty Celli: Your husband looks at you across the room and sees something that he has been missing.
• 14:19
  Misty Celli: The woman who is fully present in her own life and therefore fully present in theirs, not managing from a distance, but here, eyes open, alive.
• 14:30
  Misty Celli: And you, standing in the middle of the same circumstances, feels something that you've been waiting for the right time to feel.
• 14:38
  Misty Celli: Ready.
• 14:39
  Misty Celli: Not because the circumstances finally aligned, but because you stopped waiting for them to.
• 14:45
  Misty Celli: That is what becomes available the moment that you understand that you were always the variable, that the circumstances were never the wall, that the decision was always yours to make in this season with these kids in this life right now.
• 15:01
  Misty Celli: Here's what I want you to carry out of today.
• 15:04
  Misty Celli: Your circumstances are real.
• 15:06
  Misty Celli: Every single one of them.
• 15:08
  Misty Celli: I'm not asking you to pretend otherwise or to push past them with willpower or to add more to an already full life.
• 15:16
  Misty Celli: I am asking you to look at them honestly, the way I had to look at my teenagers and realize it wasn't them, it was me.
• 15:25
  Misty Celli: And ask yourself the question that changes everything.
• 15:28
  Misty Celli: Is this circumstance actually the reason?
• 15:31
  Misty Celli: Or is it the story I've been telling in the most convincing voice I have?
• 15:36
  Misty Celli: Because when you can answer that question honestly, when you can see the difference between the real constraint and the protective story, something opens up.
• 15:47
  Misty Celli: Not in your schedule, but in you.
• 15:50
  Misty Celli: And that opening is where everything begins.
• 15:53
  Misty Celli: The work of coming back to yourself doesn't wait for the right circumstances.
• 15:58
  Misty Celli: It creates them.
• 15:59
  Misty Celli: It doesn't require your life to be different.
• 16:02
  Misty Celli: It makes you different enough to live the life you have more fully than you've ever had before.
• 16:08
  Misty Celli: That process, the actual work, the real steps, the method that takes you from where you are right now to the woman who stands in her circumstances rather than hiding behind them.
• 16:18
  Misty Celli: That is exactly what I built your utmost method to walk you through.
• 16:23
  Misty Celli: Not a concept, not a framework you read about and try to apply alone, but a guided, complete, step-by-step return to yourself.
• 16:32
  Misty Celli: The first step doesn't require your circumstances to change.
• 16:36
  Misty Celli: It requires you to decide that you are the variable, and that decision is available to you right now, in this season, with these kids in this life.
• 16:46
  Misty Celli: The first step doesn't require your circumstances to change.
• 16:50
  Misty Celli: It requires you to know what's actually been running the delay.
• 16:54
  Misty Celli: Your utmost self isn't someone you become.
• 16:57
  Misty Celli: She is someone you embrace.
• 16:59
  Misty Celli: You are more than everyone's everything.
• 17:03
  Misty Celli: You are someone.
• 17:04
  Misty Celli: If you have not yet subscribed, please do so.
• 17:07
  Misty Celli: I'll see you Monday.