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Transcript

This Ain't Gon Work · We Talk Back

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Talk. We're just too unapologetically black women with an opinion
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: who talked back? What's up y'all shoes. If you tuning
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: in for a new episode that we talked back, it's
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: your co host A J. Holiday. The show is dedicated
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: to you, niggas and these holes and everybody in between.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: That would be me. Hey, y'all, I love y'all. This
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: is me Tim Van. Thank y'all for tuning in again. Hey,
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: hey j Girl, Hey girl. We had a time last night.
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Then we even at the time this weekend, y'all. I know, man,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: a real good time. Was we supposed to have that
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: good of a time? I don't know. I think that
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: was the whole plan. I think they wanted us to
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: have a good time. Me A J. And the h
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: B I C of Black Effect. We all went out
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: to We went to Memphis. We got invited to Memphis
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: by St. Jude's to participate in there's homecoming celebration. Um,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: if you don't know what St. Jus is, it's hospital
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: and they helped with childhood cancer and we received a
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: lot of great information and they had a lot of
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: events for us to attend, and it was such a
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: good time. We had so much fun, and we got
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: to learn a lot about Memphis and about the hospital. Yeah,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: and it's like literally a home coming. So you had
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: people from different HBC used, he had all the Divine
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: nine in the building, ski Ween and all this good stuff.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: It was really good and they invited. My favorite part
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: was the food. My favorite part was the actual uh,
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: the sneaker ball. I enjoyed the sneaker Ball. I had
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: a lot of fun. They had UM a singer named
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Dough Jones. She came out and she performed, and she
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: is just phenomenal y'all. If you haven't heard her music,
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: she sees that song when I Pray. I really loved
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: that song. If I get married, I would really love
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: for Doe to come out and serenade me and my guests. Um.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: Then they also had Eric Bellingery performed. It was a
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: list of people that came out and performed throughout the
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: weekend and it was a great time. Yeah. I ended
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: up on the shuttle with UH with Dope. I was like, girl,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: Beyonce could fucking never do that? Beyonce, hold on beyond.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: Let's this a whole debate. Yes, Beyonce is a great singer, right,
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: but let's be honest. Beyonce beyond Yes, she's a great performer,
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: and beyonce voice wasn't always what it is now, right,
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: she had to go through lessons. Now the real singer
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: to me is Kelly Rowland. But do baby, that girl
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: can She got some pipes, y'all. She was hitting them notes.
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, damn, just when I think I can
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: sing a little bit, I realized I can't sing worth it.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: You ain never thought that I can't hold out that
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: I can hold a little note. So, um, somebody told
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: me not to tell y'all this, and y'all should tell
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: me if I should tell y'all. Are not, But I'm
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: about to tell y'all. So I was in the airport
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: coming back from Memphis, and I was at the bar
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: and the bartender treated me so bad, y'all. I mean,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I've never had anybody treat me so bad as far
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: as customer services concerned. The woman slammed the fries in
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: my face. I spilled my drink. She just left it there.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: The Patriots had to give me napkins, and then she slammed,
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: um my ticket down on the counter for French fries.
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: That's all I ordered, And I didn't eat them because
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: she never came back to offer me catch up, honey, mustard,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: a napkin, nothing the whole time. Barbecue, barbecue, sauce, not nothing.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: She's just so rude to me because she felt like
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: I wasn't trying to spend a lot of money. It's
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: in the airport and I'm just sitting at the bar
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: in mind of my business. I'm not bothering. Do y'all
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: know this woman called the police on me. This woman
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: really called the police on me. I'm making a long
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: story short, but yeah, she called the police on me,
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: and the police had to tell her that, yeah, we
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: can't make her pay for food that she did not eat.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I mean, me and this woman was going back and
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: forth and I wanted to motherfucking Frisbee throw that fucking
• 4:09
  Speaker 1: bowl of fresh fries at that bitch. I sew the
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: guy like she had the right one that day. Can
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I be honest with you in for a second when
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: you when you you kept calling the phone right so
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: like the phone rang like twice and it was in
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: the bed with me. Remember when I faced time you
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: but you ain't seeing my body like going up and down.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: I was fucking I'm about to go to jail, and
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: she fucking like. I'm just like like on FaceTime like
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: this my head bobbing, and I'm like and I'm like,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I'm so mad right now. Yeah, And he's like, as crazy,
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: I don't calling my bad friend. I was in the
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: middle of some ship. I know you had a whole
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: god them red alert. I'm sorry, Okay, the police couldn't
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: do nothing to me because I didn't do nothing wrong,
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: but the fact that another black woman called a police
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: on me, she was just trying to have a power
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: moment over me. Girl. I was like, the lesson that
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: you're trying to teach me, you're gonna learn today, So
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: continue on because I'm not paying for that ship. And
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: I'm going to send an email tomorrow about my customer. Yeah,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: hell yeah, we're doing all things caring this year. If
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: you're playing around, so I'm sending emails to corporate on
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: your host and I can't wait. That's all. I don't
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: eat out for real. Why are you being so mean
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: to me? Because those bitches be disgruntled, they'd be disgruntled
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: a lot, and they wouldn't do a white person. And
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I was the only black person at the only other
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: black person besides her, and she treated me like straight shit.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: We do each other like that. I don't. I don't do.
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: I go out of my way to say hi to
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: black people when I see them, eye contact Hi. You
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying, even if they keep walking past
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: me like I tried to. I'm just a nice person
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: black people. I'm nice to everybody, you know, anybody that's
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: kind to me. I'm kind bat you know. And for
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: you to treat me like that, girl, I can't wait
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: to see if i can get your job in my
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: back pocket. And I'm gonna try my best because you
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: if you're treating me like that, you probably treating other
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: black people like that at that bar. And that's not right.
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: You called a police. What the police came and beat
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: my ass and killed me or something? Right over a
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: bowl of French fries. Girl, You lucky I had somewhere
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: to be because I'd have been waiting on you at
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: the dog. I'm giving you a reason to call the
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: police this time, I hope. Right. So let's get into
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: us and let's get in a stupid ending. That news
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: today's crea, Yes, let's talk about it. She like you
• 6:47
  Speaker 1: and peeting on y'all Golden showers. And you know everybody's
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: been talking about her relationship with P Diddy, and now
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: the P instead of puff and now stands for Urine Karsha.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: We gotta do a whole episode on black women in
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: kink because I can't get into the spit in the mouth,
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: the p the poop, the B D s M. Ship
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: Like I might know, I might want to get tied
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: up and I like a little violence, you know, choke me,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: you know that type of ship. But listen, piano is
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: just kind of that's where I draw the line. Pe
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: and poop, That's just like, that's where I draw the line.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: I'm not doing that because it's like your body's waste.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I don't understand why anybody would want somebody's bodily waste
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: on them in a pleasurable way. I don't know the
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: psychic behind it, but hey, whatever floats your boat because
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: it's warm. Or I know a guy who said he'd
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: like to pee inside a woman, like like what about U?
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: T eyes? Like? What like pe inside me? Oh ahead,
• 8:00
  Speaker 1: how do you even do that? When I erect penis
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: like that? He said he can do it? Oh, I
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: guess you do pee, I don't know what the fuck.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: So if somebody offer you a million dollars right now,
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: one million dollars and you can see it sitting on
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: the table like motherfucker may wear the laid out and
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: was like a j you can have this money. I don't.
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: I'm good. If you let me pee on you, you
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: wouldn't take it? Yes, okay, I look it ain't that
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: bade one m for a little golden shower. That's different.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Do you think that Karsia is just getting a million
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: dollars every time you get piste on? No from ditty.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: You can pee on me right now for about fifty bands.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: It's a recession. Ain't gotta be a price tag on
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: because I'm just not doing that because I'm n I
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: have a goal to me. I need a fucking M
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: by forty, like that's the goal. I need a couple
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: of ms by four. So if that's gonna get me
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: one step closer, just a little warmth, right, little yurine
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: like maybe little mellow yellow, I I will do it.
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I'd like take me the Capital Grill and get me
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: like four dirty martinis in dinner and fifty dollars that
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: we could make it happen. It's raining bands. Okay, let
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: me get that. Listen. So she took the Twitter and
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: she said, um, now, y'all know I don't give a
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: fuck that. Let me tell you. My mama always says
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: my grandma would tell her when you find a person
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: I don't care about nothing, leave them to funk alone. Okay,
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: So she said, y'all know, I don't give a fuck.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Reach and Roulette eight for the week, whatever that means.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: I want to get that game. It don't come out
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: till March, though, So I'm gonna get it though, because
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I want to play. But I ain't peeing. We ain't
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: nobody peeing on me. That's an actual game. It's a
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: current game that she played on the show. Interesting. I
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: want to hear from our listeners and maybe I'll put
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: that out. They're like, what's the craziest thing your significant
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: other or some random nigga from I don't know, Pieces
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: of Fish ever did to you? What is the nasty
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: We're gonna do that episode. Maybe we'll bring some people
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: on to talk about it. No, I tell you what
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: the nastiest thing that I'm a whisper. So my mama
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: don't hear it. So when I was in college, my
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: roommate she came in the room and she was all
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: like freaked out and ship and I was like, girl,
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: what's wrong with you? She was like, bitch, my nigga
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: just bust on my ass and then licked it off.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: Lika came up, come off her butt, and I got
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: a big old ass. But she had a big old
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: ass in college, so I know he was doing a
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: lot of licking. And I think she actually broke up
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: with him, like maybe a couple of weeks after that.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Ship surely then after rightfully, so like I'll be looking
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: at you like, nigga, would you do that to him? Man?
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: Like right, did you you like to taste of that?
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Because I can't produce it right, and I don't like
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: the taste of it. You eat it? Not mean? Right?
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: Speaking of weird, a Utah woman marries her cousin all right,
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: So she went on TikTok. This woman named Marcella Hill.
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: Her and her husband Page found out they were third
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: cousins while looking online for baby names. So the woman
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: is pregnant and they're looking trying to name the baby,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: and they're looking at their like ancestry and they realized
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: that her grandma was first cousins or something like that
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: with her his grandfather, and so they called their grandparents
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: and it was like, yeah, they're my cousin. What do
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: you do when you find out that you're you're you're
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: married to your third cousin? That I don't feel like
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: they haven't in Black families married girl, what's not? Maybe
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: not married, but definitely smashing because I feel like I've
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: smashed the fifth cousin before, after third, it don't matter.
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: I'm like my older cousin was like, you know that's
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: your cousin, right, I'm like, know the funk it ain't
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: because if it is, it's too late, it's too late. Yeah,
• 12:16
  Speaker 1: And as dick a little something like, damn this little
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: dick running our family. I don't know, I don't know. Yeah,
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: it's too late now they gotta say. I mean, I'm
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: not leaving my husband because I found out he my
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: cousin and when I got a baby by him, all right,
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: who else gonna know that? I feel like people probably
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: come across family members all the time at some point, yea,
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: especially from certain areas, you know what I'm saying, Like
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: certain places A lot of people be related. They don't
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: cross breathe. Yeah, we like I look back at my
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: family tree, there was like some definitely some cross breathing
• 12:49
  Speaker 1: going off, and it was closer. It was close, you know,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: you look down the family tree is like, hold on,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: wait this say she married him, but that looked like
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: her uncle, nephew or something like that, right, that happens.
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: Speaking of pregnant ladies, so chris Sean Rock says that
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: she is having Blue Faces baby potentially twins, and I
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: don't know man, so blue Faces like well, Rock has
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: had encounters with ten different men in the last year.
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: Until I see a DNA test, then it's not mine
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: to answer your questions. Yes, me and Rock are officially done.
• 13:33
  Speaker 1: It's strictly, strictly business. I tried it and clearly it
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: wasn't giving. Before she announced, Um, she's pregnant with somebody
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: else baby, not mine. I love to catch your motherfucking
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: lying with substantial evidence is such a sweet victory. So
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: now all of a sudden, this girl is pregnant. Now
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: you're gonna really cut it off right If she's actually pregnant.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: She posted um some positive pregnancy tests on online uh um.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: Her her fucking mental health is declining. Yeah, did you
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: see she was just recently on an interview UM and
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: a therapy session on the show drinking a bottle of
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: motherfucking patron. Who would la she would never go for
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: no ship like that. You're drinking patron in her face?
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Like that hold on in therapy allowed her to drinking. No, no, no,
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: I said she would never. She was in a I forgot.
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: The therapist is a black eye who's on on that
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: UM on the show with him, and she was drinking
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: from the bottle. Yes, but you're pregnant. I'm confused, So um,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: I I would I hope she's not pregnant too, so
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: that she can get time to get her mental health
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: together and maybe, you know, take a break from this guy.
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: They young, he needs to grow up. He's reproducing. He
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: has multiple kids already. You know these people, it's like
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: it's like niggas really be having babies quicker than regular
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: black people. It's like, what the fuck, Like they just
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: got all the time in the world and get pregnant.
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: God damn. You know women, I know right now I'm
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: struggling to have one baby, and I see a lot
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: of women like, uh, saying, girl, call me and I
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: take you to the UH to them people to get
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: rid of that, and then we can go to get
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: drinks after. Stuff like that is so ignorant the way
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: we promote abortion in our community, like that as ignorant
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: as because that girl already says she's having her baby,
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: So why would any other woman be suggesting that she
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: had an abortion. Plus she already had abortions, you know,
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: and then you don't know until you're in your late
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: thirties you really really want to have a baby. Well,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: here's the reason why there's suggesting that she having an
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: abortion is because now you have, once you have a
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: child with someone, you have to deal with in the
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: rest of your life, you know. And that's obviously what
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: she wants. Toxic situation. And that's why I would assume
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: that other women are like, girl, don't do that, you know,
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: just let it go. But she's already had abortions, and
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: she didn't leave him alone. She literally has this nigga
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: face and name tattooed on her body multiple times. She
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: doesn't she doesn't seem like a stable mind. I don't
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: think that she should be procreating right now. But that's
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: not for me to say, you know what I'm saying, like,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: that's not for another woman to suggest her to have
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: an abortion on top of the fact that she's already
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: had multiple abortions. What about you know what she what
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: she's putting her body through and her mental health? Right,
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: you ain't never took nobody to get an abortion before. No,
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: I funded one before. But no, no, I definitely have
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: taken a friend of to to the to the to
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: the shop. But let me tell you it was it was.
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: It was bad because I was like, my friend, you know,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: whatever you need, I got you. And it wasn't an
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: easy thing for her, you know, like, I don't think
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: it's you know, some people are very desensitized to it
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: and they can do it without thinking twice. But my
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: friend wasn't that person. I'm not that person. And we
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: pull up and they had them signs outside, like you know,
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: the people who be protesting. Yeah. I was like, which
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: one of y'all? And I immediately folded on that bitch.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: I was like this, huh. She was like damn, damn.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm sorry. It was pressure bench. They
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: had that little white baby holding that little white dog
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: baby out there. Oh, goodness. And then we went inside
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: and it was a lady in there with four kids.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: The babies were in there with her. She didn't even
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: have anybody to watch her kids for her while she
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: Why are you fucking That's what we need to reevaluate.
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: We gotta have a little bit more accountability, yes, because
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: abortion is not birth control. Okay, birth control is what
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: happens before you get pregnant. Well, lot of you don't
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: get pregnant. You're not, And that's fucked up. That is
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: so fucked up. That is fucked up. And I feel
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: like that's what we need that I feel like a
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: woman can control getting pregnant. We can all these apps
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: out here now where you can monitor your ovulation and
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: your and your cycle and all that ship like they
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: literally work. My should be down to a t. I
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: use my days. I've been using it for a year.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: My ovulation, Yeah, you got fit b it. Apple doesn't
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: now like checking your fu heart rate all day long
• 18:26
  Speaker 1: everything like you can. You're fucking lazy. There's no reason.
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I mean, it can happen, right, But if you're just
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: you can let a nigga come in you all day long.
• 18:37
  Speaker 1: Just don't do it around your ovulation time. Yeah, use condoms.
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: I'm an advocate for that. That part, that part you
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: have birth control, which is before even a plan B.
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: If you gotta go that route, you got seventy two
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: hours after that nigga came in you. And if you
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: fucking with somebody who can't afford to buy you a
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: damn uh fifty dollar playing b bill, you already fucking up.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Like women, got it, we gotta take more responsibility for
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: this bullshit and not be suggesting other young black women.
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: And they have they have another one that's even cheaper
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: than that, like LoVa Nestra, something like that, long long
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: and something. It's like a but they have the same ingredients. Yeah, yeah,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: you can get this up. So what's the ladies take
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: accountability for your body? You know? Yeah, it's not the
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: men's responsibility. The condoms really not even responsibility at that point,
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: because they're gonna try to put that dick in you
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: raw every time you have to say what a condomat
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: If you're dealing with anybody who's not irresponsible, some of
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: these niggas is not at the same rate. We can't
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: we can't blame the men though. It's us. It's us
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: we got control over that ship. If you're working with
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: somebody who just goes, you don't think he's just sticking
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: his dick in somebody else the same way. Child, Please,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like I'm preaching to the choir. Right.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: Oh that's y'all can't stand me because I'm pull that
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: hole that mirror up on your ass real quick, boy,
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: Fuck you, Nigga commented on the Instagram page. Stop but
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: he can't stand me sometimes stand these nuts? How about
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: that with your bit ass. We're gonna break through. We'll
• 20:17
  Speaker 1: be right back, all right. So we're back, y'all. And
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: you know what I want to talk about today? What
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: are like some of the proper methods or some of
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: the methods that you used to break up? Because I
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: can tell you guys, in my last relationship, I literally
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: had to go to therapy. It was like one of
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: the hardest things I ever had to do, you know,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: because one part of your mind is like, damn, you know,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: maybe we could work it out because you got those
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: good times you keep thinking about, right, But then if
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: the bad times it's just like over powering overpowering the
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: good times, get the funk up out of there. But
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: I literally had to go to a therapist to break up,
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: like a breakup therapist, and it made it easier because
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: then you know, I was I had to recognize like
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: why why am I going to say in this relationship?
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Like it makes you hold of mirror for the most part.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: You know, a therapist, they really don't give you answers.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: They forced you to find your answers. Yeah. Um. And
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: it was actually two different therapists. One was a woman,
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: one was a man. The woman was like, what you
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: gonna do? She wasn't trying to tell me what to do,
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: but she was like, bitch, you know what to do essentially,
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: And the guy, of course, was like, well maybe it
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: could be worked out. And I'm like, no, right, there's
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: no salvaging this none, not at all, And I don't
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: need any more couples therapy, and then I need therapy
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: for me at this Then at that point, it's like
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: when you stay in something that really holds no value,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: then you gotta be accountable for still being there, you
• 21:56
  Speaker 1: know exactly, because then you ain't got nobody to blame yourself.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: M yep. And so for years I had nobody to
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: blame but myself and not even at the end, I'm
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: still not trying to blame him, but it still ends
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: with you. You know what I'm saying. People only do
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: what you're allowed them to do for one and you
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: women know when it's time to go. I feel like
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: oftentimes we stay in in situations longer than we should,
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: even men. I feel like men actually do suffer and
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: bad relationships longer, especially the deal. Yeah, they'll just deal
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: because you know, they'll see the bigger pictures. Women be
• 22:31
  Speaker 1: like my happiness. They'll go find the happiness outside of
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: the relationship to fulfill them so they can stay in
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: the relationship exactly. So you know, I'm on clubhouse, you know,
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: not even a lot anymore. But the main thing black
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: men love to say is the statistics on how black
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: women are the ones doing the divorces. We do the paperwork.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: Niggas leave the relationship way before we do the paperwork.
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: We're used to doing the paperwork. We do all of it.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: We do your doctor paperwork, we do everything. Sometimes women
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: are feeling out applications for me. We all we did
• 23:06
  Speaker 1: was file the paperwork. But oftentimes the man been left
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: the relationship. You know, even when we had our daddy's on.
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: Remember my daddy was like, my daddy was like no
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: woman ever came between him and my mom relationship. I'm like,
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: you were cheating, you were coming home with white bitches
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: here on you black bitches here, like just hell a
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: disrespectful and my mom is not like that bitch. You'll
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: literally not talked to you again. And like because she
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: has children with him, was like, that's her family at
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: this point. If my dad gets sick today, my mom
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: would go take care of him, she would help, but
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: she don't funk with him like that. I've literally seen
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: my mom's like break up with a nigga and never
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: talked to them to the day they died, and the
• 23:50
  Speaker 1: nigga was contacting me just to have a little piece
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: in my mama. He died, died, Yes, he died, and
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: I was so sad about it because he was like
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: a father figure to me too. And when he died,
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: she just told me like regular, oh yeah, so and
• 24:06
  Speaker 1: so died. Um. I heard what. I was devastated because
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I had just spoken to him. She was like that
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: she didn't know, you need something from the store. I'm
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: about to go to the right She was just said,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: that's like it's regular. That's why you gotta be careful
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: like women with children, like who are you inviting your
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: kids lives? Because you don't know the impact that those
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: people have, right that part? Yeah, because that was definitely
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: a father figure for I've only had two real relationships
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: in my life, and I got dump both times, so
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: I don't even know. I ain't never had the opportunity
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: to dump nobody. Dad, you were sticking I was sticking out.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: You'd be like this bad, but I'm a stake everything else.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: But then I also have commitment phobia, so I was
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: like very okay with like situation ships, like no titles,
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: so it ain't nothing to break up from. We can't
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: break up if we together. Now that's some bullshit. You
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: sucked me raw, we together? I don't suck raw. I
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: don't be fucking wrong. Oh see there's that party read
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: you're my whole boyfriend? Like it or not? All right?
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: So it's fair to say I kind of broke up
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: with people because I've ended situation ships, but I've never
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: had like the people I was really committed to dump
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: mean both times, but let me tell you this, they
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: came back. They tried to. But once you ended with me, baby,
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: ain't no coming back. That's one thing I don't do
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: because that should be hurt. And I'd be like, you
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: really want to be done one? You know suck Oh,
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: you can't circle back once you done me. It's it's
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: a wrap. But they try, both of them did get
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: somebody else to do it. But my situation ship said
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: I ended. I think I don't know. I'm real Frank,
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: when it gets to that point, it's kind of like
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: this same work and I don't want to do it
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: no more. All right, We're still cool though, Like I'm always,
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: I always keep that energy. It ain't never like it
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: has been some situations where I'm like, boy, I speed
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: on you if I see you in publicly, don't play
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: with me because of the disrespect that it happened in
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: the situation ship. But for the most part, if I
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: ended with you, it ain't it's all off. I speak
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: to you. I had gnad you if I see you outside,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: and that's it. What about you? Well, I've been in
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: four serious relationships my entire life, and I've broke up
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: with each one of them. Um. One I had to
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: move eight hundred miles away, and one, UM I feel
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: like I moved in all the relationships for real, like
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: I just sucking pick up and move like my first boyfriend,
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: her and Charleston. I really didn't um break up with
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: him in that way. He just didn't want to move
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: with me, Like I moved back to Colombia and I'm like,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: come with me. Like it took that nigga years to
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: leave his mom's house. I'm like, I'm twenty one, Like Nigga,
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: move like, let's go. I'm in college here, I'm working, Like,
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: come on, what the funk are you? Like? We could
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: have probably built a really nice life together, because that's
• 27:20
  Speaker 1: one of my good friends still to this day. I
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: need to call his mama. But Nigga would He would
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: not fucking move. He wouldn't and he just wasn't doing
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: He wasn't ambitious enough, he wasn't working. Like I'm twenty one.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: We going on vacation, Nigga, I'm paying for it. That's
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: what the fun was happening in that relationship. Yes, so
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: you know we and him, me and him going into
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: a really really, really bad fight one night, because this
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: is when Palm Trio had just came out. Remember Palm Trios,
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Like the first first touch screen Quarty keyboard. Yes, I
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: had a Palm trio. He was with me when I
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: bought this phone. Five d sixty something fucking dollars cash.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: I paid for his phone. We went to his sister house.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: She wanted to see, like how the phone worked. This
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I'm just giving y'all. When we finally called it like
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: for real, I've stopped with him, um, and she was
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: using my phone and she went through my pictures and
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: a nigga popped up on the screen. Mind you, I
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: had just went on a date with somebody a couple
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: of days prior, and I was lying to him telling
• 28:28
  Speaker 1: him I was out with my home girls, and it
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: was only because I wanted somebody to fucking do for
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: me for one. That's only right as a woman. So
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: he put he put me in pants essentially when we're young,
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: you know. And I just feel like women just be
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: getting to the bag quickening guys when they're young. So, um, girl,
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: I could see and he wore glasses. Girl, When I
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: tell you, a little demon pop that nick When he
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: saw that phone, bitch, he slammed my phone on a
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: concrete that ship like a more start bawled it up,
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: and then he left me in the projects he grew
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: up in, so I had to call my daddy to
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: come get me. Mind you, I was just in town
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: to get my dad's car because my car had broke down,
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: so I only came to Charleston to get his car
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: set and go back to Columbia. And that nigga um
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: left me there and I'm like, no phone, no nothing,
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: and I had to like, I'm crying in the parking lot.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: I had to ask somebody to use a cell phone
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: to call my dad. And so when I called my dad,
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: my daddy was like, you got a choice to make
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: because if I get involved, somebody's gonna get hurt. So
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: either you're gonna be with him or you're not. And
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: from that day for it, we weren't together no more.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: I made the choice. So maybe my dad was the
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: the therapist in that situation. I just didn't funk with
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: a no more after that. Well, he was right to
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: be at though, because regardless of him being broke, y'all
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: still were committed to each other. That nigga was cheating,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: imagine being broke and I don't caught you cheating. That's
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: the first time you ever seen anything in my motherfucking phone.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: Oh he was cheating. He had cheated on me prior
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: to then. Yeah, imagine that. Imagine you being a broken
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: nigger and you cheating on me like that is just
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: I'm not dealing with that. But I did deal with
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: it a couple more months, obviously, right for us to
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: get to the point to where I'm going on dates
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: and ship now giving a fun how you feel? No,
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: that's crazy. Yes, so my daddy broke us up. Um no,
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: that trio broke you'll answer. Can I use your phone
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: real clay? Right? Um, let me see. After that, I
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: moved to like the next relationship, I moved to Atlanta
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: on the nigga. Then that wasn't far enough because he
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: was driving from South Carolina to Atlanta every fucking weekends.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: I moved to St. Louis because I couldn't stop sucking
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: him because I just moved. Um. After that, Um, oh,
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: the fans broke me and my ex and one is
• 30:59
  Speaker 1: in prison. He gets out in about thirty days. But
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: the fans broke us up. I probably stole Ben with
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: that fucking nigga getting driven crazy after goddamn wall. So
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: God came through on that one, Like I bet you
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: ain't leaving. It was days. I would literally be putting
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: my ship in the car and that they would be
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: taking my ship out simultaneously, like you ain't about to
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: go to your mama house and and embarrassed me. So
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: the god and the fans broke us up. So you
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: didn't really end it now. Yeah, once he got sentenced,
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: I was like, you know, I gotta move on my
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: life because I don't. I don't wait for a minute
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: come home from prisoner. I think I had one situation ship. Well,
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: I guess we were kind of together. This was in Atlanta,
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: but I was we're here for all the wrong reasons.
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: He was not not the It was a Dominican. I
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: didn't tell you about this, nigga. I hadn't tell you
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: Poppy the poppy I was dealing with. The police took
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: him from me too and deported him. So that was
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: a situation that ended with Jim the Porte. I got
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: rid of his ass. Look when my ex got locked up,
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: the motherfucker's had is shut online. Um his race as Cuban.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: They really thought they had Yeah, they really thought they
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: busted something Dominican or Cuban drug lord. But he wasn't Charleston,
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: but he was black light skining black right. He had
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: that work now, but but he definitely wasn't one of them.
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: So let's get into our list. I found a list
• 32:31
  Speaker 1: on Marx manson dot net. UH ten rules for breaking
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: up gracefully. Uh Number one, always do it in person
• 32:40
  Speaker 1: and if possible, don't do it in public. So I
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: disagree with that. You might depend on who you're breaking
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: up with. You need some more people to see make
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: sure you safe. Right, she might get ugly. I'm flipping
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: the table over for sure. I always want to do that.
• 32:56
  Speaker 1: I see my mama flipped well, I ain't see, but
• 32:59
  Speaker 1: people told me my mama flipped the table over at
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: the at the eye. Yeah, I love it, man. I
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: want to do that so bad. I want to flip
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: the table and take my forearm and sweep all the
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: ship off the table at the same time too, Like
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: sweep all the ship and then we book that table
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: over and then kick sweep that nigg that's toxic. Don't
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: do that in the middle of the number two, in
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: the middle of a sentence. Don't listen to that. You're
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: gonna be in jail. My mom, they said, my mom
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: almost went to jail, but she knew the officer and
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: they let it go. Number two, never make a scene
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: and keep your bad ship to a minimum. See look.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Number two is to follow up with number one, and
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: I might have to take that out because my mama
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: got a whole career. She might be mad at me
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: for telling y'all that. Ah uh. Number three, do not
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: try to make the other person feel better. Mhmm. That's interesting.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: M hmm. Like it's not you as me kind of situation, right,
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: That's that's probably what it sounds. So it says this
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: goes particularly with the dumper, um Q Beavis and butt
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: head laugh. Whatever that means. Once the relationship is severed,
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: the other person's emotions are no longer your responsibility. And
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: not only is it no longer your responsibility to help
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: them cope, but comforting them like excuse me, but comforting
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: them will likely make them feel worse. It can also backfire,
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: and that it will just make them resent you more
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: for being so nice while dumping them. Okay, I understand that.
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: And for fox sakes, it says don't have sex with them. Yeah,
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: because you're all emotional, sometimes you might end up having
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: sex right before a break like one last time. That
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: mean niggas, you break up with them and they're like, man,
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: just come over here and talk to me face to
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: face about it. No, stay your ass, don't go on,
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: no clothes set and what? No, man, you'll are you
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: trying to break up where you're gonna get fucked and
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: you're gonna be back there for another year too? Are
• 35:04
  Speaker 1: beat up? One of two? All right after the breakup,
• 35:08
  Speaker 1: respectfully cut all contact for a short period of time,
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: at least a short period of time. Yeah, because it
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: won't be over. If you break up with them and
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: you continue to communicate, it won't be over. That's my problem.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: So it says this is the second thing that many
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: people don't muster the courage to do. A lot of
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: people get hung up on remaining friends and actually forced
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: contact when it when it's causing them more emotional stress.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: Research and relationship breakups finds that people who limit contact
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: with one another emotionally recover much faster. So I did
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: do that. So I blocked my ex for six months,
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: and when the block expired on Verizon, I had to
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: block him on all social media all that ship. When
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: he was finally was able to contact my phone again
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: because I guess he was still trying. A matter of fact, no,
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: because he was still message through our business page on
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: the motherfucking podcast page. But I feel like I thought,
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: up until like a week ago or two weeks ago,
• 36:08
  Speaker 1: I thought we could like at least still communicate periodically.
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: Now I'm just like, I have a real live disdain
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: family a little bit. So I'm like, nigger, I don't
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: even want to be your friend. I don't. I'm not
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: your friend. I'm not your friend, Like it's impossible to
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: be some some people. Man, it's kind of I broke
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: up with him because I didn't like him as a person,
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: So how are you gonna be my friend? Yeah, that's
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: why you just gotta in all contact, honestly. Number five
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: talk to somebody about it. A J went to a therapist.
• 36:41
  Speaker 1: I typically go to a J like I'd be having
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: all the right answers for people, but not of my
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: mother for yourself. They say, this one may seem obvious,
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: but make sure you do you do it if this
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: is a particularly serious relationship, to talk to a trusted
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: friend or family member before making the decision, and then
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: take whatever advice they give you. Seriously, we are often
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: poor observers of our own relationships, but our friends can
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: see how it's affecting us better than we can see
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: for ourselves. Yeah, and you know what I also need
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: to work on, like when somebody is giving me like
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: there um, because you know, when you're in a relationship,
• 37:22
  Speaker 1: you know all the ins and outs of your relationship,
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: and it's oftentimes we do share the worstship about our
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: partner and none of the good. So then now when
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: you're telling your friend you're offloading what you're going through
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: with this person, or you know you're contemplating breaking up
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: with them, and your friend is like, you know, talking
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: shit about the person, it's kind of like it's to me,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: it was always like uneasy, like yeah, I know I'm
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: talking about this nigga with you, but I don't really
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: like you talking about him because I know the other
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: part of him, which is why I kept staying with right,
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But that's the part that
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: you forget to tell your friends because those things are fleeting.
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: It's the mean, hurtful things that stay with you the most. Yeah,
• 38:06
  Speaker 1: would be like that, unless it's like always good, then
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: it's always good stuff to talk about, but that's not
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: real life. Number six, Allow yourself to be sad, angry, upset,
• 38:18
  Speaker 1: but don't judge or blame anyone. It says emotions are
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: healthy and normal, even negative emotions are healthy and normal.
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: But judging and blaming people, whether it's them or you,
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: doesn't get you very far. That's true. So so that's
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: where accountability comes in there. Yeah, I'd be quick to
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: blame you. You you you you Yeah yeah yeah, um,
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: because you know when people say, oh, you're responsible for
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: your own happiness, I understand that. But if somebody can
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: make you unhappy, they also have the power to make
• 38:51
  Speaker 1: you happy. Right, So if you're intentionally making me unhappy
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: in a relationship, or it may not be intentional in
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: their minds, but if you're doing a bunch of dumb
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: ship on a daily basis, like I'm going to be
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: falling out of love with you, like that's just yeah.
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: So um, I don't know, I don't know about that one.
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: To to not blame somebody, it's kind of hard because
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: why you you would still be with them? I mean,
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: I understand you gotta blame you know, blame yourself, take accountability,
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: not blame yourself, but take accountability for the relationship in
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: your part and what's transpiring in the relationship. But it's
• 39:30
  Speaker 1: kind of hard. It's kind of hard not to point
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: out all right. Number seven, recognize that the breakup itself
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: is a sign of your incompatibility and you're both better off.
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, hows somebody better without me? I don't understand that. One.
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you could be a great person. They can be
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: a great person, but you're not great together. Y'all don't
• 39:54
  Speaker 1: bring out the best in each other. And that's another
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: thing I would tell my ex, like, you can be
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: an amazing purpose person it for somebody else, Like, we
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: both got all these great qualities, but we do not
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: bring out the best in each other. We don't. Yeah,
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: but I just it makes me feel better to think
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: that they're not better. Well, I always be like Nick,
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: it's it's just it's just one me. You're gonna look
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: for me and somebody else and you're gonna never find me.
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: I do be on that type of time because I
• 40:18
  Speaker 1: really feel that way about me. I know I'm amazing too,
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: but no, I'm that narcissistic to believe that nobody else would.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: I just like to it makes me feel better to
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: feel like I'm the best thing that ever happened to
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: them in life. It's kind of narcissistic, but it's fucking real, Like, yeah,
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: you can. I believe there's only like a few different
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: characteristics of people, right, and you should be able to
• 40:43
  Speaker 1: find those characteristics and multiple people, but there is still
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: gonna be some uniqueness about this one person in particular.
• 40:52
  Speaker 1: Number eight investing yourself. This is a good one. The
• 40:56
  Speaker 1: longer you're spending in a romantic relationship, the more you're
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: into identity males with theirs. Being together with someone in
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: such an intimate space for so long creates a third,
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: overlapping psychological entity that comprised comprises both you and them,
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: and when that entity suddenly dies, not only is it painful,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: but it leaves a temporary void in who you are.
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: So you gotta find yourself again, basically, find your own
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: individual identity and celebrate it. That's why I always say
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: you gotta be independent in the union. You don't want
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: to lose yourself and nobody. Yes, y'all are supposed to
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: grow together and do things together, but you should never
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: be in a relationship where you're being consumed by the
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: other person. So where you no longer having having a
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: u an identity. And it says like friendship is the
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: best medicine for heartbreak. So you know, you fall back
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: on the people, your home girls and your loved ones
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: to help you remember who you are as an individual,
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: because those are the people who know you as an individual.
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: You know exactly number nine. Only start dating again when
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: you're legitimately excited to see new people a lot. So
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: it says a lot of people break up and enter
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: a rebound period there immediately back on the market and
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: throwing themselves at the first thing that comes by. The
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: problem is this is more of a coping mechanism than
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: genuine enthusiasm for new people, for meeting new people. So
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: I agree with that, you know how and don't heal.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: We already said that several times in several different episodes.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: So they always say the best way over somebody is
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: under somebody else. But that's not true. You gotta take
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: some time. It's gone dates. We gotta learn the date.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: We're gonna do an episode on that too. Black women dating,
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: Just date? What is it? What does it look like?
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: Just date? Like date multiple people like? I like first dates,
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: I like meeting new people. I like talking to new
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: people and learning about them and ship like right, So yeah,
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: just trying to not the fun, right, that's the thing.
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: You don't have the funk everybody you date. You fun
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: everybody you date, and you especially shouldn't have a baby
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: by every boyfriend. But that's a different conversation, all right.
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: Number ten, Only attempt to be friends with your ex
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: again once you're over the idea of dating them. M hmm. Yeah.
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: Some people have the admiral admirballe goal of remaining friends
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: with their ex. Other people have the admiral goal of
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: breaking the breaking their knee caps of their breaking the
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: knee caps of their ex with the tire, right can
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: you as a woman? I feel like men can do it?
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: But as a woman, it's like when you get into
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: a relationship with a new person, they don't want to
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: know that you're stow in communication with your ex like that, Like,
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: how how are you going to be making space for
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: a new um experiences experiencing new people. If you're holding
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: on to this friendship relationship with somebody else, it has
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: to be like a if it's an actual person you
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: were in a relationship with, it has to be a
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: big gass time gap. I believe I say, five years
• 43:58
  Speaker 1: before I could be your friend, do right? You know
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: what I do? Like, I'm still cool. I don't think
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: I have an X that I'm not cool with in
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: some form of fashion, because you know, i'd be having
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: a good time. My funny niggas like to laugh. I
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: like to laugh. So if it, if it didn't end horribly,
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty much still cool with your ass. But you
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: can't get no more pussy um exactly, and that's okay.
• 44:24
  Speaker 1: So we went we posted on our Instagram page and
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: we asked, y'all, what how do y'all break up with people? Yeah,
• 44:34
  Speaker 1: we want to read a couple of them. Somebody just
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: responded it was like one more time, like applies. So
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: b V I think it's like balanced b V lanced said,
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: like applies one more time? Uh k, car mona she said,
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: or he said, I can't tell by the avatar, but
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: just as ignore them, just completely ignore them. Good. Yes,
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: this is my friend out the de Leon Daily on
• 45:06
  Speaker 1: he says, getting straight to the point but with respect
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: and clear communication sounds good. That's healthy if you can
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: really do it that way, right. Jules Vega O seven
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: says over dinner, you're gonna give feet up one more
• 45:21
  Speaker 1: time and then be like, yeah, are you fool? Did
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: you enjoy your bill? Guess what? That's the last one
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: you getting out of goods? Shame, that's a relationship, is
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: stomach fool relationship? Empty pink Prince Princess says, I just
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: stopped responding. It looks like a lot of people are
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: just ghost Anissa Duck says face to face that's how
• 45:52
  Speaker 1: after Brown says, after sex, damn shame, a silent escape.
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: We both know what happened without saying anything. This is quasi. No,
• 46:05
  Speaker 1: I don't say it. I know who that is. Don't
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: say m hm like she hit me up. But she
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: was like I just commented on y'all, y'all story question,
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: but don't say my name just in case. So it's
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: so listening, Okay, well listen, I'm telling everybody name. What's
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: there on one people? No, no, we just said this
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: was an anonymous question, right. Someone said, sorry for what podcasts?
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: Thank you all for following. This is text. I'm not
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: trying to talk about ship face to face because stay
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: out my face for real. So g Uh in the
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: middle says, I don't know how to break up with
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: people actually in this situation right now, girls said us
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: a dumb, big story. We'll help you break up. I
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: had a therapist. I'll give you that disclaimer before we start,
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: but I help you. I don't think that. I think
• 47:04
  Speaker 1: ghosting is cool when it's mutual, like you'll both just
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: fall out of contact, but that that doesn't really happen
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: in um, actual committed relationships. These some of these things
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: like ghosting and ship like that, that's far more of
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: like a hook up situation ship situations. I don't think
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: that somebody you've been in a relationship with a five years,
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: you're just gonna go st that nick and not answer
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: the phone for him no more. That's not really realistic,
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: Like how do you actually break up with people? I
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: think the list that we gave is a real good
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: um starting point. But I do think with somebody you're
• 47:37
  Speaker 1: in a committed relationship with face to face, even over
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: the phone, maybe you gotta write them a teen page
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: letter whatever it is, but you do a little bit
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: more old than some type of explanation or I don't know.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: When I broke up with my ex, I literally had
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: written in a journal every day eating up to the breakup,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: so that, for one, it was really to remind myself
• 48:04
  Speaker 1: as to why I was breaking up with him, and
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: also if he wanted to know the exact reasons, I
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: had them ship listed in a real fucking way for
• 48:15
  Speaker 1: the breakup. So I don't know, these these responses are
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: really for hookups, right, y'all. Ain't just got nigga yap
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: in a relationship with for a while That should be
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: long and drawing out. It takes literally a year to
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: break up with somebody you've actually been in a relationship with.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: I feel like it takes like a year. Yeah, if
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: you could cold turkey and nigger, you're a babbage. If
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: you can cold turkey somebody you've been with for like
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: two years plus, but didn't somebody's just come home and
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: find all everything gone like I feel like it was
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: on social media like care and all the ship was
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: just gone out of the house, no conversation. That's cold
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: blooded right there. Yes, yes, And you know, if somebody
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: were to do me like that, I stress about little things.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: I don't stress about big ship. What could I do
• 49:05
  Speaker 1: in that situation but move the No, that would definitely.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: I can't believe this nigga took the TVs. I can't
• 49:11
  Speaker 1: even watch being the new episode came on the night.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: The only reason why you probably feel a ways because
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: you ain't did it first. He got one up on
• 49:19
  Speaker 1: your ass is really the person who needs like the closure,
• 49:22
  Speaker 1: who's stressing the most about the breakup, and they probably
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: contemplated breaking up too, But when you're being broken up
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: with is more devastating, especially for women. I think, yeah,
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: because women aren't used to that type of They're not
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: used to rejection in that way. So I don't know,
• 49:39
  Speaker 1: being adult, I guess that's the gist of this episode,
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: being an adult, being an adult and have the hard,
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: tough conversations with yourself and the people you once loved.
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: They deserve that much, at least at the bare minimum,
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: unless they talx is in they're beating your ass, then
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: I it's okay to go stim and get up out
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: of there. That's the only time I feel like it's
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: okay to just ghost to motherfucker's just when it's if
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: your life depends on when you're in an enough situation
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: in you j low get the funk up out of there,
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: right So anyway, that's I mean, I guess this h
• 50:15
  Speaker 1: I hope this episode gives you, guys, um some better
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: ways to break up, because I know it's somebody listening
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: right now that this is suching your spirit that you
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: need to break up with that person today. Don't wait,
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: do it today, right, don't wait till the next new year,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: or maybe wait at till you know that's bad advice.
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: I'm about to say, at least wait till after Vamion
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: Time's day. But you toxy on it. I'm just joking.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: Don't wait. No, she ain't joking. She ain't joking at all.
• 50:45
  Speaker 1: But listen, guys, we hope you enjoyed this episode. Tune
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: in every Thursday on your I Heart Radio Apple wherever
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: the fun you get your podcast at. This is your
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: co host A j Holiday two point Oh. Y'all follow
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: me on Instagram? Did you you tell them the website?
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: They know what I mean? Www that we talked back
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: Anti dot Kazam. All right, y'all's me official tam Bam.
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: Once again. I love y'all, and I really appreciate y'all
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: for tuning in and listen to share our truth unapologetically
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: every week with y'all. So y'all come back and see us.
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: Follow me on Instagram. I'm official tam BAM. Remember to
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: speak now and never hold your peace by