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Jack Perez Is On A Mission To Normalize Aging · The D Shift

• 0:05
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Welcome to the D Shift podcast, where we provide inspiration, motivation and education to help you transition from the challenges of divorce to discover the freedom and ability to live life on your own terms. Are you ready? Let's get the shift started.
• 0:24
  Hi, everybody, and welcome to the D Shift Podcast. Today we are speaking with Jack Perez. And Jack is a aging she is a champion of helping people and women in midlife to age gracefully through the process and to normalize what is going on. So Jack, thank you very much for being here. Really appreciate your time.
• 0:47
  Jack Perez: Marty, thank you so much for the invitation. I'm thrilled to be here. And I'm really thrilled to listen to your topic because as somebody in their early early senior years,
• 1:00
  Mardi Winder-Adams: it is so nice to have, you know, a different perspective on the aging process. So
• 1:05
  Jack Perez: tell me a little bit about what's your area of expertise. Great question, Marty. Currently, right? Because when we get to the stage of life, we probably have several areas of expertise, right? I mean, if we've been, if we've been on the planet and we've been living, then we probably have several. But currently what my path is, as you said, it's I'm on a mission to normalize aging, and I'm focused on women. And so my focus literally is midlife women 45. and above. Because when I got into my early 50s, and I started going through the menopause transition, I couldn't find information or resources or support, or anything in the media that was positive or life affirming, that would give me information on on the best way to continue aging, right and continue this process of living. And if you really think about it, when you you know, people get all weird about aging, right? And ageism is one of the it's the Islam that we do to ourselves, right, we are our own worst enemies in in practicing. Because when we look in the mirror, you know, we don't like what we see reflected back, it makes us feel invisible or small, and, but we have the control to change it. And what I decided to do or what my area of expertise is, I am on that mission to change the paradigm of aging and make it a positive, wonderful experience, which honestly, it is, I wouldn't go back to being 40 anything ever again. I mean, this season of life is the most enriching. I don't want to be anybody else. I don't care what anybody else thinks of me. I am seeking new adventures, because we have a lot of time. Me. Here's the deal, right? We have a lot of time left. It used to be like our mothers and our grandmothers that, you know, by the time they got into their 50s or 60s, they were quote, quote unquote, winding things down. Yeah. Okay. We're this generation, baby, the younger baby boomers and the Gen X women, we don't want to whine. We're just getting started. And I was gonna say,
• 3:24
  Mardi Winder-Adams: I feel like I'm ramping things up, rather than winding things down right now. So
• 3:29
  Jack Perez: right, and you have a lot of time you have a lot of life left. Why would you wind things down? Why, but but here's the thing, though, like, what really drove me was my own sheer frustration at not finding solutions and answers I finally did, of course, I mean, of course, because if you keep looking, and I encourage any woman out there who is struggling in this season of life, because you're not finding the supportive information, keep looking because you'll find it and it's it's getting it's getting more and more readily available. Think, think the universe, but um, yeah, I mean, I agree. We're, we're just getting started. How do
• 4:06
  Mardi Winder-Adams: you think and you said something really interesting. You said it's really something we do to ourselves, and I can't agree with you more I you know, of course, also being through the menopause thing, you know, so many women are just like, oh, well, you know, you're just going to gain weight. Oh, you're just going to get wrinkles. Oh, you're just going to slow down. Oh, you're just going to have these hot flashes and weird mood swings. And yeah, I get some of that is hormonal and there's some things you can't change. But just to say, I'm giving up everything goes wrong from now on is all because of menopause. Why do we do that to ourselves? What's your thoughts on that? Well,
• 4:45
  Jack Perez: I think in part, it's because we don't know better. I mean, how much I don't know about you, but I didn't know much about menopause. My mom never talked about it. And when I went to the doctors, you know, they were like, Oh, you're just getting older. It's like, don't worry about it, it's just going to happen. And I'm like, um, I don't like what's happening. And you're a medical professional you really like they haven't, you can give a man a little blue pill to help a wreck his penis. But you can't tell me what is going on in my physiological transition where every other human being on the planet goes through this transition. Right? How do we know so little? How is there such little support? That's ridiculous.
• 5:34
  Mardi Winder-Adams: And what do you think? What do you think is happening? Because you're right, women are more than 50% of the population now. And I'm, you know, it's it, I can remember when you had to really look to find a female doctor, if you wanted to go to a female doctor. Now, it seems to be unlike I mean, I live in a more rural area, even here, we have female doctors or nurse practitioners, why isn't there more? And maybe this is maybe this is not the right question. But why isn't there more research or more resources and understanding for women? What's your sense on them?
• 6:11
  Jack Perez: Well, in part, it's because of the complexity that that we possess, right? I mean, we are human beings who can make other humans. Let's just Let's just think about that for a little while. Right? I mean, we are our biology is far more complicated than men's biology. And so it's trickier to study. And we present problems when they're doing regular studies, we present problems because we know fluctuations and cycles. And so it's just been easier to just I think, it's just the medical community has found it to just be easier to to not bother with us. And to be honest with you. Think about it. I mean, you know, think about how much has changed. So I mean, I'm 57 years old, and I remember in the 70s, my mother having to get my father to cosign, so she could get a credit card, right? Yep. What? Yeah, that's in our lifetime. That's not like some thing that happened in World War One or, you know, in the 1800s. No, that is something that has happened in our lifetime. So it doesn't surprise me that we're just that far behind on understanding the science and the physiology and how to help women. But the good news, and I really believe this wholeheartedly, and I'm, I'm a living example. Yes, I had to be tenacious, and I had to keep shopping. And I had to keep going from doctor to doctor, because most of the doctors were like, Yeah, whatever. It's just, it's menopause. You just have to get over it. And I'm like, no, no, I am not going to get over it. Yes, I am going to get over it. But But I want to do something, you know, and I finally did, I found I found a medical professional, female. No, I'm not surprised about that, either. But who took the time to ask me, you know, the 300 questions that she wanted to ask me and took the time to take out the vampire size vials of blood out of my body to test all the hormones, you know what I mean? And so she put in the energy in the effort to figure out like, okay, yes, it's complicated. Yes, it's complex, but I'm sure we can come up with a solution. So you just have to find the person, the medical professional, or whatever, the lowest holistic professional that is willing to take the time and the journey with you. Right.
• 8:44
  Mardi Winder-Adams: So tell me a little bit about how you help women in your, on your mission to sort of champion the aging process and normalizing it and say, Hey, celebrate it, live with it, enjoy it, because this is a this is a season of life, you can really shine in how do you help them with
• 9:02
  Jack Perez: that? Well, we'll go right back to why I was frustrated. I was frustrated because there wasn't any. And all the information I could find was here use Botox here, use Juvederm try to look like you're in your 30s for as long as possible. And I'm like, well, that's not empowering. And so what if I use driftwood or Botox, that's my choice. But it has nothing to do with me wanting to look 30 For the rest of my life, because clearly I do not look. I pass that I passed that road sign a very long time ago. So because I was so frustrated about the lack of information and the type of only the the only type of information that seemed to be out there. That's why I built a digital platform called Cool life. And I call call life with full intention because I think that we can live a cool life until we are done with life. We don't have to assume I have to slow down every now and again or Take a U turn or take a left turn or whatever. I'm not saying that, you know, you're gonna have the same vitality and energy and whatever for your entire duration. But there's always good stuff. There's always good stuff. And I so I built this digital platform, so that I could ensure that other women had access to empowering information. And it's not like we don't talk about hard stuff Marty, we do. We talk about divorce. We talk about Dr. Vagina, we talk about dating, you know, after divorce, yeah, we talk about, you know, elderly parents and elder care. But the way we do it, in the way that we present it is to be helpful to be informational, to be supportive to so that women realize they're not alone. You're not alone, you're not on this journey alone. And if you're feeling it, chances are, there's a whole lot of other women who are feeling it too. And I wanted to build a platform where this could be centralized so that women could go out and get very relevant, highly curated info from industry thought leaders globally. Right. You know, when I started the platform already, I was the sole contributor. So you can imagine, right, but posts, I post maybe once a week, you know, and I have to do a lot of research, because I am not an expert in a lot of those topics that are relevant. Right, right. But now, a few years later, I have 54 women globally, who are industry thought leaders in their categories of choice, whether that's money or divorce, or empty nest. They're bringing their expertise to that platform, daily.
• 11:50
  Mardi Winder-Adams: That's fantastic. That is amazing. Yeah. So we have
• 11:55
  Jack Perez: a place now we have a place now where women can go. And here's the funny part that 25% of our, of our community of the people who go to read articles and come to see 25% of men. So clearly, the men are curious, which is good, because we need our men, right? It's not about hating men, right? I love men. I mean, I live with one and I made one right? So I love men. It's not that's not the problem. Right? It's just think we're we've just been quiet for too long. And that's our that's we own that. We own that. don't own that. We own that. Right.
• 12:33
  Mardi Winder-Adams: That's something I was going to say when you were talking about some of the topics and the things don't Don't you think that somehow and I'm not blaming society, because I know that it's kind of a catch all phrase to but don't you think that women were kind of, you know, in the words of Archie Bunker kind of like stuck Stifler? Edith, we don't need to talk about that right now. And don't you think that for a lot of a lot of years, we're almost the same age. I think that you know, even thinking back on my mom, I don't think my mom would have had conversations like you and I are having right now. It was just supposed to be I don't want to say suffer in silence. But I am gonna say it suffer in silence. Like it's your problem, you deal with it, maybe speak to your male doctor who's not going to have any information anyhow. But you know, or take this pill or go on an antidepressant or whatever. The recommendation was,
• 13:26
  Jack Perez: what was it mama, Mama's little helper, when we were kids, they value them left and right to women, right, right. Here, just take a value. And sure, if you take no value, you actually won't care anymore. But is that what you want? I mean, so do you think part of the
• 13:44
  Mardi Winder-Adams: part of this empowerment is just having a place like your platform, which is a phenomenal resource, I was able to take a look at some of it. Wow, there's fantastic articles and things on there. So do you think that just even having that space for women is an empowerment vehicle for perhaps future conversations and
• 14:03
  Jack Perez: discussions? 100% I mean, that is why I built it. And here's the other interesting fact, right? That half of our audience is below 45. Wow, for that tells me that women are paying attention and they want to know, sure. They want to know what's coming. And so while I originally built it out of my own personal frustration of being 5253 and feeling like there was nothing out there for me and then I couldn't see myself in the media, right? I shop at Anthropologie love their clothes. Oh, I love that store. Yeah, ever do I see a woman that looks like me in any of their catalogs Instagram posts, nothing like why are there women that look like me are you know we jump there? We wear their clothes and as a matter of fact, we can afford their clothes. Where are those 20 Somethings? You know what? 20 something year olds going to be able to afford a $200 dress right? I mean, I wouldn't have afforded that in my 20s. Right? So, so yeah, well, but so well, I did it initially to solve my personal problem. And in women that were already in midlife, I am thrilled. I'm thrilled that our younger sisters, our nieces, our daughters, now have access to this information, so that they can share it with other people and learn and not be afraid of aging. Like it's nothing to be afraid of. It's great. It's like it's the best time
• 15:31
  Mardi Winder-Adams: I'm going to put you on the spot here, Doc, and I'm not sure that you maybe have an answer to this question right off the top of your head. So if you don't like I'm sorry to put you like I say put you on the spot. What do you think is the topic that people that new new members to your group, your tribe, whatever your term is, for your your people that are your women that access your your website? What do you think is a topic that brings them to your website when they're doing their research? Well, I
• 15:59
  Jack Perez: mean, I can tell you because I, I monitor my Google was gonna say you've got the analytics download. Yeah, so that's actually not, that's not a mystery. So you know, it's interesting, because what drives them, what I get, what drives them a lot to the site are some of the more fashion and beauty articles. Which is great, right? They want to know, okay, so what is this aging thing? Like? And, you know, you know, what are my makeup choice options and what, how does clothing change and all that stuff. But here's the deal when when they come and I call it a community, when the community comes in, when an individual comes in, they're not just reading that article. They're reading for point seven, nine piecemeal, typically, it's quite average, great, which means, which means that they might be coming in for the fashion piece or the makeup piece, but then they're reading, you know, the piece about menopause, or the reading the piece about what do you do, you know, in, you know, how do you prepare yourself for a divorce in midlife, they're reading, they're consuming the other material. And, and so it's so I am thrilled. I'm thrilled that that's happening. Because I often tell people that this season of life, I believe, to be more complicated than puberty ever was. But we don't get a party. Like there's no sweet 16 party or Houston, Yetta. I mean, we're kind of on our own. Right. So I think our own party, which is why I'm thrilled that that material is available to women globally, and that it's not just the women who are in midlife currently, that are consuming it. But it's also our younger sisters. And I love that they're prepping them, I think because I mean being, you know, not being informed, right? You come at it just way more in a way more positive way. Because then you're not victimized by this. There's right you don't be victimized by aging, you really don't. Yeah, I think
• 17:59
  Mardi Winder-Adams: this is fantastic. I really do. And I've already thinking there's a couple of other topics, I need to get you back on other podcasts to talk about just from the information you shared. So if there was one takeaway, that you think that you would want people to remember from this conversation, women in particular, or men that wanted to learn more about women in their lives that may be entering this this season of their being? What's that one takeaway you think is the most important for people to recall from this conversation? I would like women
• 18:29
  Jack Perez: and men to remember that there is a huge chasm between miniskirts and depends, and that we get to live the life that we want to live in that span of time, which is a significant span of time. So don't dim. Turn up the volume, you know, you don't want to turn down the volume on your life, turn it up. And if you feel if you feel like alone or unsure, let me let you know there are millions of women that are in your season of life that can relate to what you're saying that can that find what you're going through relevant to them and sharing that information with one another. And learning from each other. Yes, we were unstoppable if we do that.
• 19:20
  Mardi Winder-Adams: You know, I just this just came to mind when you said that. And I love that. I love that statement. There's a big, big difference between many skirts. It depends a lot of living that goes on in there. I think that's
• 19:32
  Jack Perez: a great lot of living happens between skirts and depends. That
• 19:35
  Mardi Winder-Adams: is a fantastic thing to remember. I am in a women's mastermind and we have a lady in there who is 82 years old and she is starting her own business and that's something she's always wanted to do. And I am just I'm so impressed like if you if she's I mean she's. She's up on, you know everything she needs to do. She's got virtual ba she's got a website you I mean, she is roll on. She's hot on social media. So yeah, there's, there's no reason to limit ourselves because of our age, there really isn't. So now that I really want to thank you for everything, if people want to get ahold of you, or take a look at your community, how can they do that?
• 20:16
  Jack Perez: You know, just go to the digital platform if you go to Kuel life, and I do spell that a little cattywampus. It's spelled K UE L. And that is a legit word. By the way, though, I found that on on urban dictionary, and it is a synonym for C O O L. And so it's basic, but the whole idea is that you can live your cool life the entire time. So I encourage, if you're curious, if you think this might be for you, take take 10 seconds and go to KUELlife.com. And you'll know I mean, you'll know immediately like i This is the nice thing about what I'm doing is I don't sell anything to anybody, right? Because it's out there, and it either resonates and women get it and they find value and it means something to them. And then yay, I feel like that's a win, or they don't and that's okay, because it's not for everybody. But yeah, just go to there, go there. And you can reach me through that platform. Or you can reach me through Instagram, Facebook, all on LinkedIn. And all you have to do is KUEL life. And I come up so
• 21:21
  Mardi Winder-Adams: excellent. And I am definitely going to be reaching out to you and hooking up with you on social media platforms, because there's a lot of research and learning I think I can do as well. So, Jack, thank you so much for your time, and I really appreciate this. I know this has been extremely informative and helpful to people. And I really look forward to speaking to you again on the podcast at a later time.
• 21:42
  Jack Perez: Thank you so much.
• 21:44
  Mardi Winder-Adams: Thanks for listening and supporting the gay Schiff podcast. If you would like to attend live trainings by our amazing guests and have a chance to ask questions and get answers from our experts. Join the D Shift crew. For more details and to sign up, head on over to www.DivorceCoach4Women.com and click on the podcast page.