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4 Leadership Lessons Every Youth Pastor Needs to Know · Ministry Coach: Youth Ministry Tips & Resources

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes people can be a little disillusioned with what leadership is, and so when they actually get into leadership, they think I must be a bad leader because I'm challenged all the time and it's like, well, you're not a bad leader, you're a leader.
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: This is the experience.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: What you're going through is not unique or a sign that you're not meant for the job, it's just.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: This is the common leadership experience Challenging, unpredictable, difficult, not fun.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: And if you just know that and can accept that going in, then I think it's a little easier to look at those difficult times with the correct lenses of.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: This isn't me.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: This isn't time to pull the e-brake on this whole operation.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: It just means I'm in leadership.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: In this episode we're going to talk about four different ways to up your game and leadership as a youth pastor.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Welcome to the Ministry Coach Podcast, where every week, we give you actionable and practical tips that you can implement into your youth ministry.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: My name is Jeff Laskola and this is Kristen Laskola, and today we are talking about four leadership principles for youth pastors that you must know.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: Wow, thanks for really just driving it home already Way to go and, like I say on a lot of episodes, these aren't the only four, these are just four we happen to be talking about today to continue to sharpen your leadership skills.
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: As a youth pastor, I love talking about leadership and we could talk about tons of leadership principles.
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Another really great place to go I've mentioned before.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: If you are looking to up your leadership game, please check out the Craig.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Groeschel Leadership Podcast.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: He only releases podcasts once a month, so when he does, they're very good, very thorough.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: And the one that he released on April 4th, I think of 2014 this year, I think- 2014, this year, oh right, 10 years ago.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Am I in the future or the past 2024.
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: There you go, it was really good and I'm going to, or the past 2024.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: There you go.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: It was really good and I'm going to actually listen to it again.
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I've listened to it once and it was so dense.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: I want to listen to it again because.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: I'm so dense.
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: So, anyways, that is a great place to go for a leadership sharpening on the regular.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: I just love it.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: But you're here, so you're going to listen to why I have to say what we have to say for principles.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: So my number one, kristen Leskola, youth pastor leadership principle is number one.
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: Leadership isn't fun.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Number one leadership isn't fun, and let's just start with a real downer.
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: You need to know that leadership is get out fun.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: And some of you are nodding your heads.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, that makes so much sense.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: And the reason I want to start there is because I think sometimes people can be a little disillusioned with what leadership is and so when they actually get into leadership, they think I must be a bad leader because I'm challenged all the time and it's like, well, you're not a bad leader, you're a leader, and it's not fun, it's not easy and it's always full of challenges.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: And the reason for that is because leadership, especially in the church, world ministry leadership, spiritual leadership you're dealing with people 100%.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: Like that is the job.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Well, people are complicated, people are messy, people are unpredictable and you never know what's going to come next.
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: With dealing with people, it's just very.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, I've been in youth ministry for 20 years and I deal with things for the first time all the time.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: You know, there's certain things that I'm like, eh, that's always how it is.
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: But then there's other things like, okay, I never have seen this before.
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: That's very interesting because people are so unpredictable and that makes our job really hard and kind of not fun.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: And the reason I say that is like, of course there's moments of fun, there's times of fun, there's experiences of fun, but if you're looking for fun to be the primary emotion that you are feeling, it's not going to be there.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: And I think that's just kind of one of those reality checks of you're not a bad leader, you're not a messed up leader just because it's difficult.
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: That is just leadership.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: And so that's why I kind of like to define it that way, because I don't want anyone to be surprised, you know, like when Jesus says don't be surprised that in this world you're going to have trouble, because that's just sort of the human experience.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: I kind of like to look at leadership that way of like this is the experience.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: What you're going through is not unique or somehow a sign that you're not meant for the job.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: It's just.
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: This is the common leadership experience challenging, unpredictable, difficult, not fun.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: And if you just know that and can accept that going in, then I think it's a little easier to look at those difficult times with the correct lenses of.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: This isn't me.
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: This isn't mean the sky is falling.
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: This isn't time to pull the e-brake on this whole operation.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: It just means I'm in leadership.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: Kind of reminds me when you, as I laugh and tell the story.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: But you had heart surgery years and years ago.
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you it was the best.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: No, so after you were out of surgery and you're in recovery, your cardiologist came and he was a very just, dry, very type person and you said something like the incision is like really painful and he just goes.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you just had heart surgery I forgot about that and it's kind of the same thing, it's like what did you expect?
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Like that, that's a great illustration yeah, dummy, I cut you open four hours ago, dr.
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: Dr, Goltz, you comedic genius, you reality check, you had heart surgery.
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: So yeah, you're in pain.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Um yeah, and I think sometimes people from the outside over glamorize leadership a little bit, thinking like I've really made it when I'm in charge, and you quickly realize, oh, this is the job for the schmucks.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: You know, just kidding, but it is, it's a heavy responsibility.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: It's not like woo, like you know, when you're a little kid and you look at adults and you're like when I'm an adult, I'm going to eat candy for breakfast and I'm going to like do whatever I want and watch whatever I want.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: Adult, I'm going to eat candy for breakfast and I'm going to like do whatever I want and watch whatever I want, and I'm never going to do anything, ever again.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: And then when you actually adult, you realize, well, this is not as much fun as I thought it would be.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: I thought being in charge meant I could do whatever I want, but then you realize all the responsibility that comes with it.
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: It's like, oh, this is a responsibility, not necessarily a privilege, Like I'm not sitting in this privileged seat and everyone's serving me quite the opposite.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: And I think we need to just check ourselves on what is our core belief and our core view of what leadership actually is.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: It's not this elevated of what leadership actually is.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: It's not this elevated, pampered position.
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: It is a heavy reversal of that and we're going to continue to talk about what that means and unpack that.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: But I think it's just like a little bit of a sobering view of this is a heavy responsibility, not some cush job of like look at me, king of the you know, so that's number one yeah number two we need to be willing to sacrifice our personal comfort for the team, and that kind of stems out of what we were just talking about, like it's not about our comfort or our preferences always being met, and I think bad leaders are the ones who are looking for that cush experience of well, everyone else is doing all the heavy lifting and the hard work and I'm just sort of like pointing you know you do this and you go here and I'm supervising, and you know, truth be told, leadership is a lot of brain work, not necessarily always grunt work, physical work.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of thinking work.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: It's a lot of strategy and you use your brain a lot of solving problems and helping and all of that, but we're not.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: I guess the point is we're not looking for the cush life at the expense of others.
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Like well, they can do all the hard stuff, you know, and I'll be over here doing you know nothing, nothing.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: So leaders good leaders know that if it comes down to us or them sacrificing, missing out, taking one for the team, it should always be us, and sometimes you'll have amazing leaders who insist.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: We did this.
• 9:54
  Speaker 1: Really, really fun leader night out.
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: Last night it was a roller skating night.
• 9:59
  Speaker 1: We rented roller skates, we brought them to the church, cleared the auditorium because it's a really slick floor.
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: It's not like church carpet, it's like slick concrete, and we just roller skated our heads off.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: It was so much fun, while the roller skate rental place is in Pacific beach, which is what 45 minutes 45 minutes and then if you are on the wrong side of traffic, you know so it's quite an ordeal.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: So when we're packing them up, I said my guy's director is like well, how are we getting the roller skates back?
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: I'm like I guess, just put them in my car.
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: I'm going to have to go down there Tuesday morning before program and return them, or we're going to get charged another day.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: And he's like you know, you're teaching, teaching.
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: You've got a message to prepare and you have meetings in the morning.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: Like I'll do it.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, really I said that's a really sucky errand, like going all the way there just to say here's your skates and go all the way back.
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: Like parking is a nightmare down there.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: And I'm like I'll do it, just put them in my car.
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: I don't even know they're gonna fit in your car.
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: He's like no, no, no, I Like just don't worry about it.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: And it was just this thing of like hey, I insist, I'll do it.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I'll take one for the team, I'll do the sucky errand.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: And he was like no, I got it and I did take him up on it.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: I was like okay, he's like you know, I don't have a lot of work in the morning.
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: If I'm late, you know to program I'm late but I'll get it done.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: And then I'm like sweet, you know.
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: But the point is I didn't say I am teaching on Tuesday.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Like you can do this.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: It was like he offered, and so I said, yeah, that does make more sense, thank you.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: And he was insistent.
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: But we're never looking for, like, if there's a sucky job to be done or if there's someone who needs to take one for the team, let it be us, or at least let it be our offer and our insistence until it just makes sense for someone else to do it who has offered.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: But doling out the undesirable tasks when you aren't willing to do them yourself is, I think, where the leadership problem comes in.
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: Now, should our interns have to do undesirable tasks?
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Of course you know, but alongside us, or we've done it too, or you know.
• 12:20
  Speaker 1: It's that mentality of like we we don't really ask people to do things we aren't willing to do ourselves.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, You'll lose a lot of respect from people that way.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: If you're not willing to do it, or pitch in or, you know, do it on your own.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Even they'll look at you in that sort of like oh, you're too good for that.
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: We're all the peons who have to do all your dirty work, you know.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think, like you said, it kind of comes down to a respect thing.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Like we should be known as the hardest workers.
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: We should be known as the ones who stay late.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: First in last out.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, are the ones cleaning up and doing dishes and emptying trash and leading.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: You know by that example, and I think that goes a long way of just like that's what leadership is.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: When you really look at the definition of leadership, you know how Jesus modeled leadership.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: So many people talk about servant leadership and one of our pastors, chris Brown, pointed out like that term is not in the Bible.
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: He's like you are a servant and you happen to be a leader.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: So it's not like this model or method of leadership, like I do, servant leadership.
• 13:36
  Speaker 1: He's like no, you are just a servant.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: So it's like you're no better than anyone else Just because you bear the name leader.
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: You happen to be the leader who is a servant because you're following after Jesus.
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: And that's kind of what he said is like even the son of man did not come to be served, but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: And so sometimes I look at Jesus and the way he led and I'm like, how did you do it?
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: Like just the exhaustion of the people.
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: And even when he tried to escape, they find him, you know, like a toddler, like I will find you, are you in the bathroom?
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I'm coming and it's like and then he looked at them compassionately and was like all right, what do you need?
• 14:27
  Speaker 1: You know where some pastors get off stage and they hop in a green room so that they're not fettered or bothered, but it's like that's.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: I mean I don't want to judge anyone's leadership methods and they're taking care of themselves.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: They need to.
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: But I also think you know, shepherding is accessibility and when we hide ourselves it's so tempting to do.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: Sometimes all I want to do is just go in the youth closet for two seconds.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: So then I'm like, um, youth closet for two seconds.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: So then I'm like I'm getting a dodgeball, I'll be right out and I just like, okay, it's quiet, nobody needs me for like 30 seconds and then like, okay, I got this.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: You know that's my like.
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: The closest I've ever gotten to a green room is the storage closet, alone for a minute or two.
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: But I mean, jesus is accessibility and you know, servant nature is what we should model our leadership after you know, not lording that leadership over people, like he said, but but you know that whole, first shall be last, last shall be first, kind of thing, Sometimes that's so hard because I'm so hungry and I really want to jump in line and I'm like leaders eat last, leaders eat last.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I'm just like I'm so hungry, like at camp, you know, and they're like the food line and I just I'm like I just want to sneak right in here and just eat.
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: I'm dying, you know.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: But then I'm like leaders go last, leaders go left, and you're serving the kids and all that You're like.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: I just want to eat one little thing.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: So it's hard, it's a discipline, and so number three, this kind of goes along with it Always be willing to do the tough thing.
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: So as leaders I learned this a long time ago you always have to be willing to do what's right, not what is easy.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I had a few girls years ago get in trouble for drugs and I was like we're going to have to talk to your parents, you know, like I can't just pretend this didn't happen.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: And they were so mad at me and one of them said to me this just would have been easier if you had let it go Like now.
• 16:36
  Speaker 1: This to me, this just would have been easier if you had let it go like now.
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: This, I said, would have been easier if you didn't do it right.
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: I I'm like, but I felt bad.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: I mean, she was right, it would have been easier if I just for them gave a little, and for you, I guess, too slap on the wrist because they were so mad at me.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: They were mad like they wouldn't talk to me.
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: It caused a lot of drama and and I remember telling one of them, you know I'm not really interested in doing what's easy.
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: I'm interested in doing what's right and I truly believe in everyone's best interest.
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: This is the right thing to do and I said and to tell you the truth, I have to stand before God one day and how I steward this leadership and I believe this is the right thing.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: And while you're disappointed, I don't answer to you.
• 17:20
  Speaker 1: And she never came back to her youth group, so there's not like a happy ending there or anything of like.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: And then she saw that I was right and said you know, kristen, I'm sorry.
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: It was like peace out, I hate you, I'm never coming back.
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: I was like okay, but as leaders, we just have to be willing to take that you know, because we have to be willing to do what's right, consequences be what they may right
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: because weak leaders do what's easy.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Because of stuff like that, because you don't want to have the relational fallout, you don't want to have the, because you don't want to have the relational fallout, you don't want to have the tension, you don't want to have the drama.
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: Sometimes it's easier just to let things go, but we have to be the type of leaders that are willing to do the hard thing.
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: Go to bat for people, protect people, protect our ministry.
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: Make a hard call that we know is going to hurt someone's feelings or that people aren't going to like or people will push back or be resistant.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: And you know Chris Brown.
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: Again, he always says he's our senior pastor.
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: He says becoming a leader means you have to learn to live with low levels of frustration.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: And he's like when I say that, people always think, yeah, I'm frustrated a lot and he goes no, not you Frustration toward you from other people and the more people you lead, the higher the chance of the frustration coming at you is going to be.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: Can you handle it?
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: Can you handle people being low level frustrated with you, often Because you made a call they disagree with you, made a change they don't like you held someone accountable when they wished you just would have waved a magic wand and made it go away.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: You had to enact consequences or discipline or ask someone not to come back or fire someone.
• 19:10
  Speaker 1: These are really hard and heavy leadership burdens that we are charged with.
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: That's like, are you willing to do the tough thing?
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: And you know, I think if you're listening and you're the head of a ministry, you know the buck stops with you.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: So you, you know, the best episode of the office is when michael like pawns off that task on to dwight, it's like telling them.
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: They're the medical insurance losing their medical insurance and he's like um, hey, you go ahead and tell him and it wasn't because, like, I want you to get leadership practice, it was because he was such a coward, you know, and he didn't want, like everyone, to be mad at him.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: So I guess a good question to ask yourself is how okay with you, how okay are you?
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: that is a good question to ask I would love to hear the answer.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: How okay with you, and if you don't know you, not with okay it's almost yoda, but not quite at all.
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: It's the nicest thing you've ever said.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: No well, okay, how okay are you?
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: There you go with people being upset or frustrated with you if you know it's the right call, not just because you're a jerk.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: You know it's like wow, people are always mad at me.
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: Well, is it because you're a jerk?
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: No, that shouldn't be the reason.
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: But is it just because you have to do things that are difficult?
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: But they're right, right?
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: Do-, and usually for the greater good too.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: You know, yeah, and I think there's so much similarities between parenting and leadership in that, you know, it would be a lot easier to just say, fine, stay up later or just go ahead and watch TV instead of, you know, doing your homework, or okay, you don't have to eat salad, you can eat candy or whatever, because now I'm going to avoid a conflict and I'm not going to force them to do but it's like, but I know that's what's right, and I know that's what's best for them.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I'm going to make you eat your salad, and you're going to dislike me for it.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I'm going to make you do your homework and not just go watch TV, and you're going to dislike me for it.
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: But in the end.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I'm doing all these things for your benefit.
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: And it's just, it would be so much easier to just give in constantly, absolutely.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: We all know those kids right?
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think that's a good perspective to put it in is I think some of the best leaders are very firm but very kind.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: You know like I never yell at my students but I'm firm with them on certain boundaries.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: You know cause I'm trying to set a culture of respect and fun.
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: Like, let's respectfully have fun.
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: I'm not just a regular youth pastor, I'm a cool youth pastor.
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: And fourth and finally, leadership principle that we're going to talk about today is it's way more spiritual than you expect, so don't neglect that.
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: It's like.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Leadership is more spiritual.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: Well, our type of leadership, yes specifically.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: So I love Proverbs 3, 5.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: Don't lean on your own understanding.
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: Acknowledge him in all your ways and like no matter how much Craig Groeschel I listened to, or leadership books, or John Maxwell, or, you know, tim Elmore I've been reading a lot of him lately.
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: I'm going to become a sharper leader, but if my soul is not well cared for, my leadership in the ministry world is doomed.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: You know, I often think of Solomon when God asked him.
• 22:54
  Speaker 1: I often think of Solomon when God asked him like what do you want?
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Tell me, I'll give you anything.
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: And it's a prayer that I've made my own almost every morning.
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: I wake up in the morning and if I slept well, I thank the Lord that I slept well.
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: But then I say today, give me wisdom, good judgment and common sense.
• 23:16
  Speaker 1: Today, give me wisdom, good judgment and common sense.
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: And a lot of that comes from the book of Proverbs 2 of like you need wisdom and common sense.
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: Wisdom and common sense, and I add good judgment on there.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: You know that prayer of Solomon of when God said you can have anything as a leader, as a king, as overseeing an entire nation, he's like I need wisdom I need good judgment, and so that's what I pray for, because I'm going to face unprecedented leadership decisions every single week and I do Like, okay, this kid did this and this leader said that, and this parent is asking me this, and this school is making this decision, and they want to know how I'm responding to this.
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: Should I say this?
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: Should I not say this?
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: What should we do?
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: Who should be allowed to do this?
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: Who shouldn't be?
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: And what does this mean?
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Like there's so many complicated issues that I have to navigate and respond to.
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: I mean I love the Lord, I love people and I read my Bible, but it doesn't mean I know how to solve every leadership puzzle.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: I need the Holy Spirit.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I need something beyond my capabilities, beyond my way of thinking, beyond my own power, not just a leadership book, because it's not in there.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: There comes a point where you have to have the Holy Spirit overtake and override your decisions.
• 24:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's kind of a liberating feeling.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: I feel like, when you finally do give into that and know this is not in my power, like I need God to be able to do this, for me at least.
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: I feel like there's a weight sometimes lifted.
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: It's like only through you, god, am I able to do any of these things.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I don't know if you've had this experience, but sometimes it amazes me what I'm able to do.
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: So, like, if I think about, like oh my gosh, if I had to have, like, sometimes I'll think of having a really difficult conversation that I know I have to have Like, if this person does this or asks this or says this, then I'm going to have to say this and I don't want to say it and anticipating it in my flesh, just with my own faculties.
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: I'm like I can never do that.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that'd be so awkward.
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, oh ick, I can't.
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: And then when it actually comes down to it and it's go time and I have to do it, it amazes me the things I say, that I'm able to say, that I'm able to navigate calmly, and I'm like that had to have been the Holy Spirit.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: You know and that.
• 25:48
  Speaker 1: So don't underestimate the role of the Holy Spirit in your spiritual leadership of his children, his church, his bride, because there's going to be things that there is no answer book for.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: That we can go off basic biblical principles, but when it comes to the nitty gritty of how do we actually have these conversations, how do we make these decisions, we need the Holy Spirit to just cover us on that.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: So don't underestimate the health of your soul, your connectivity.
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: Can you hear God's voice?
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: And just an aside and maybe a little gut punch for us is if you're keeping sin around in your life, if you're the youth pastor who appears to be one thing but has some sin in the tent, you know our pastor often gives the illustration of Aiken and hiding the treasure underneath his tent and everyone going down because of it.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: It's like he calls it the sin in the camp.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: If you're bringing sin in the camp, there could be unintended consequences that you don't see coming.
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: You don't hear God's voices clear, they're static on the line.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: You have trouble making decisions or you know there could be fallout spiritually that you're not even aware of things that are going on because you're keeping this sin around, and so it's just like who we are behind closed doors is as important, if not more important, to our leadership than who we are publicly.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: I heard a great quote once.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: It's in our bathroom, I don't know if you've read it, it's very little I heard a great quote once it's in our bathroom I don't know if you've read it it's very little it says.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: My worth to God publicly is measured by who I am in my private life.
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: And I think that was David Roper, I'm not sure I made you like a collage.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: I've seen it.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an event.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Anyways.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: I've read them all.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: Many times.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: I bet it's been in there for like 13 years.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: But who we are in our private life is significantly important to our leadership capabilities, because we're not just leading some corporation.
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: You know, we are doing soul work.
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: We're caring for souls and real people with real eternities.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: And that's very vulnerable work and our own souls are very vulnerable, so that caring for your own soul, so that you can care for the souls of others, is really important work.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: And I think that is a question for everyone to answer.
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: I mean, if it's a sin issue, then that's an immediate light bulb get it out of there.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: But there could be other methods of caring for your soul that you might like.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: When's the last time you got to actually worship or read something that stirred you, or spend just alone time and hear from God?
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: See that as work.
• 28:49
  Speaker 1: We met with Katie Cole this week and she just really brought to light this whole idea of like that is work.
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: You think when you take that day to listen to God or read or dive in or just have a day of thinking and reflecting, that is as much a part of your job as just sitting in the office plugging away.
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: She's like you have to start seeing that time, as that is everything that you need to continue to do leadership really well.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: So it is the job.
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: Take time to do the mind work, the soul work, the heart work, because that's how you will sustain continuing to do the work.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: I'm the kind of person that wants to check things off my list and feel like I was so productive today.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: But what if the most productive thing you could do is rest?
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: You know, books on the Sabbath will say like the most spiritual thing you can do sometimes is take a nap, learning how to work hard but rest well so that you can get up and do it again.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: And people that don't know how to rest well or take care of their soul usually are the people who burn out at some point.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: You know, and I'm lucky I was telling Katie this weekend.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: I said I've never felt burned out you know, she was talking to a group of us about burnout and some of the signs of it and I said I mean I'll have like a weekend where I'm tired, but like you, hear Carrie Newhoff's testimony on burnout and it's very powerful and I don't resonate with it at all.
• 30:26
  Speaker 1: I've never felt like that.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: And Katie was like well, kristen, you work at North coast and it's a very special place where they don't burn you out.
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: But I'm like so I'm thankful for that.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: But even if you do work at a place where they're doing all kinds of events and things and you feel like you're barely hanging on, you have got to take charge.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: You're in charge of caring for yourself spiritually.
• 30:49
  Speaker 1: You're not waiting for somebody else to come along and do it.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Because if you're going to be a strong leader who can stay in there for the long haul, you've got to learn this soul care practice.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it makes totally sense.
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: You always say you are the most important person in your ministry.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, chris Brown said that Okay, and I said it after.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: He said Now I said it.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: So it's a triple quote.
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: But it's a good thing to keep in mind, because if you're not at your best, you're not giving your best to your team and to your students Totally, and then you find yourself hiding in the closet.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Eating Snickers bars.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: True story Sure.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: One time I was eating popcorn in the dark in the closet and you walked in and you're like yes, and I just looked at you.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: I was sitting on the floor and you're like what did you say?
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: you're psycho or something, probably and I was like, yeah, get out of here.
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: But I noticed you didn't share your popcorn and if you are feeling like you're getting to that burnout place, make sure you check out our episode.
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: We did all about how to avoid burnout and also we did another episode in regards to eight skills you need to master for youth ministry leadership.
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: All right, the question of the day this week is what is the most overplayed wedding song?
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: And I you say we didn't do this question ever before.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: I swear in the 192 or some odd episodes, I swear we've done this one.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: Maybe we have, maybe we haven't, but we'll pretend we haven't well, if we did, I would be interested what my answer was last time, because it would be a thousand years by who?
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: what's her name?
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: uh christ.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: Like.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: Are you saying that at like?
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about played at a wedding.
• 32:33
  Speaker 1: Oh well, okay.
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: That could be too, but Well, like during the dancing part, probably Celebrate good times.
• 32:44
  Speaker 1: Come on.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Cool in the gang.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: I hate that song and I also hate we are family, don't know?
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: is that?
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: Who's that?
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: I don't know what that's about.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: I got all my sisters with me your version is not much better come on everybody.
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: I don't like um cupid shuffle.
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: I knew you're gonna say that I don't like Cupid Shuffle I knew you were going to say that I don't like someone telling me To the left, to the left?
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, don't tell me what to do.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: Do you like the cha-cha slide?
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: That's like a close second for bad songs.
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: It's basically the same thing.
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: It just gives people who don't know how to dance an opportunity.
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: That's me, and I don't want someone forcing their dance moves upon me, so you don't have my own macarena cotton eye, joe, I think I like those more because there is a dance that goes to it, but they're not telling me to do.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: Sounds like a personal issue.
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: If you ask me, don't tell me what to do.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: Do you have a problem with authority, jeff?
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: uh, yeah, actually I do.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: That's why I'm self-employed.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: All right, good point.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all these leadership things you're talking about, I'm like these are all the reasons why I only want to work for myself and I hate me.
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: I'm my worst employee.
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: This is a community comment of the day.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: This comes from Pastor Geek, who says I love your channel.
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: I've been doing youth ministry full time for over 25 years.
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: Hey, yo, he got me on that one.
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: And I tell all my interns and youth pastor friends to subscribe.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: Keep dishing out valuable content.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: Well, pastor, geek, hot diggity dog.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: You know why I love that?
• 34:25
  Speaker 1: Because a lot of times, you know, we think we're only talking to brand new youth pastors and I love that.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: Someone who's been in the game 25 years is finding value in what we're doing.
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: You know, sometimes I listen to our podcast.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: I'm like I said that you know, and I feel like I learned something.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: You're so wise of me, I'll say this about Pastor Geek.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: So there's a video on his channel that I died laughing at.
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: He does a.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: It's like a nine years ago he did this video.
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: It was like a Easter promo video where he was church yeah, or his youth group or for his church but he's riding a bike.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Um, you'll have to check it out, but he's riding a bike over and trying to jump over a creek and it's awesome, bravo, like it was so amazing.
• 35:19
  Speaker 2: He had gopro angles like from all it was.
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: He's in the right, like johnny knoxville.
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: he's in the right business, that that's a very youth pastor thing to do.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: I know it was nine years late, but I loved it.
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: So keep doing them, keep putting them on your channel.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: Jeff wants more Creek Jumps.
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so make sure you guys go check out Pastor Geek's Creek Jump.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: It was pretty cool and I won't tell you if he made it or not, but thank you guys.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: So much for watching and we'll see you next time.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: In this episode we're going to talk Are you looking to up your game as a youth pastor?
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: Are you looking to increase your leadership skills as a youth pastor?
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: I hope you liked this episode then.