Latest / The Big Cunty Couch / Ep. 8 - Ang Balassone & Mike Fails

Transcript

Ep. 8 - Ang Balassone & Mike Fails · The Big Cunty Couch

0:09
SPEAKER_01: I I think this couch isn't perfectly symmetrical.
0:13
SPEAKER_02: So I I that was a same but oh I did I wasn't expecting you to say that.
0:21
SPEAKER_02: So so so I think it's not centered to the set.
0:25
SPEAKER_02: I think we need But I think uh I think there's construction workers in here.
0:31
SPEAKER_01: We need that, but I think there's something like slightly off-kilter about it because even when it is like as centered as we're able to make it, it's still not perfect.
0:39
SPEAKER_01: So I've decided that I think it's the shape of the couch itself is actually worked.
0:44
SPEAKER_02: Well it's mid mod, so who knows what they were doing back then.
0:47
SPEAKER_01: Mid mod.
0:48
SPEAKER_02: This color on this couch becomes Vama brown.
0:53
SPEAKER_02: Vom it.
0:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
0:55
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
0:56
SPEAKER_02: Hi.
0:57
SPEAKER_02: Hi.
1:00
SPEAKER_01: It feels like Friday.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: It's not Friday.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: It's Thursday, which is crazy.
1:04
SPEAKER_01: It's an impromptu um sort of um recording sesh episode.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: Boys' night part duh.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: Duh.
1:11
SPEAKER_01: Uh the remix.
1:12
SPEAKER_01: I was about to say like Renaissance, but like, oh wait, it's Cowboy Carter part part two.
1:16
SPEAKER_02: Cowboy Carter is insane.
1:18
SPEAKER_02: Have you listened to it?
1:19
SPEAKER_02: I like it, but just the name Cowboy Carter is like, ooh.
1:22
SPEAKER_02: Cowboy Carter.
1:23
SPEAKER_01: Keep it cowboy Carter.
1:25
SPEAKER_01: I um cow, it's cowboy Carter.
1:28
SPEAKER_01: Keep it couch.
1:29
SPEAKER_01: Have we started?
1:30
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
1:30
SPEAKER_01: Should we start over?
1:31
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
1:32
SPEAKER_01: You you you usually are the one who kicks it off.
1:36
SPEAKER_01: Because you're like, hi.
1:37
SPEAKER_01: And then I'm like, hi.
1:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it was like hi.
1:40
SPEAKER_01: And then you say, how are you?
1:41
SPEAKER_01: Which always for some reason throws me.
1:43
SPEAKER_01: Like I don't know how to like respond to that for whatever reason.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: I know.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: I mean they're not real questions.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: It's just like air like tone coming out.
1:52
SPEAKER_02: And it's uh in a high octave because I I've never like I'm not actually asking you anything.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:57
SPEAKER_02: That's probably what you're receiving and responding to, or not responding to.
2:00
SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, exactly that I think more.
2:02
SPEAKER_02: I decided to dress like you.
2:04
SPEAKER_02: Again.
2:05
SPEAKER_02: Whoa, it's slouchy.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: Well, I never wear it, I always roll it up.
2:09
SPEAKER_02: She's like Keebler Alf.
2:10
SPEAKER_02: Like there's an intern in the kitchen.
2:12
SPEAKER_01: That's like me freshman year of college, but then quickly the beanie got shorter and shorter and shorter over time.
2:18
SPEAKER_02: Do you like those Robin Bank beanies?
2:20
SPEAKER_02: Like a skull cap.
2:22
SPEAKER_01: Uh cut to me with like pantyholes on my head.
2:24
SPEAKER_01: Do you mean like oh you mean like uh covering your whole face?
2:27
SPEAKER_02: Or no, it's like tight.
2:31
SPEAKER_01: Um I like I like having the option to roll it.
2:33
SPEAKER_01: So I as long as I have enough real estate to do maybe like one flip up.
2:37
SPEAKER_01: When I wear a beanie, this is like what I end up doing.
2:39
SPEAKER_01: It's giving chef.
2:40
SPEAKER_01: It's giving uh sucker bleu.
2:42
SPEAKER_02: Suckle blood.
2:45
SPEAKER_02: Suckle my blood.
2:48
SPEAKER_02: How are you?
2:49
SPEAKER_02: There we go.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: Now I know that uh chip you up, honey.
2:54
SPEAKER_01: Freezes me.
2:54
SPEAKER_01: Um I'm good.
2:56
SPEAKER_01: Uh we are we're back in the studio.
3:00
SPEAKER_01: We're back after going away.
3:02
SPEAKER_01: We went on vacation.
3:03
SPEAKER_02: We're one click tanner.
3:04
SPEAKER_01: Well, you are.
3:06
SPEAKER_01: Maybe two clickers.
3:07
SPEAKER_02: I'm like not as tan as I was hoping to be.
3:09
SPEAKER_01: And uh but why?
3:11
SPEAKER_01: Well, because the sun was like actually dangerously hot and it was like very easy to burn.
3:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:17
SPEAKER_02: So I was diligent about sunlocking, but then the result is sort of like, did I even go anywhere?
3:21
SPEAKER_02: You look one click.
3:22
SPEAKER_02: It's a click.
3:23
SPEAKER_01: Michael looks tan too.
3:24
SPEAKER_02: So it's like you kind of look tan.
3:26
SPEAKER_02: For once you like weren't red and weird.
3:27
SPEAKER_01: It was like I got burnt though, but not terribly.
3:29
SPEAKER_02: But it was like the burn that became a tan.
3:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:32
SPEAKER_02: Which is like not you not your eye ever.
3:34
SPEAKER_02: Ever.
3:34
SPEAKER_01: Although it's my goal.
3:36
SPEAKER_01: It's your hole.
3:37
SPEAKER_01: It's my hole is burnt.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: Uh no, it's my goal.
3:40
SPEAKER_01: You were really uh getting sun on it.
3:43
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I was all week.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: Spread in that open.
3:45
SPEAKER_01: Uh no, it's my goal, people remember, it's my New Year's resolution to get a tan.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: So I'm already I've started.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: And it's to like be more delusional or something?
3:51
SPEAKER_01: That's the other part.
3:52
SPEAKER_01: Uh they're not related to that.
3:54
SPEAKER_02: We've talked about it.
3:55
SPEAKER_02: I think we have pillows multiple times.
3:58
SPEAKER_02: We have pillows Wasn't something fucking missing?
4:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:01
SPEAKER_01: Don't you guys feel that the podcast is now so much better, clearer, stronger, more successful, uh funnier?
4:08
SPEAKER_02: In fact, I'm even on one.
4:09
SPEAKER_01: And so am I.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: Can you say that?
4:12
SPEAKER_02: Well, we're always trying to like figure out how to like make Gina have less chins and maybe part of the answer.
4:20
SPEAKER_01: But I actually not these are these pillows are awesome.
4:23
SPEAKER_01: I I need a firm pillow in my life.
4:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
4:26
SPEAKER_02: I need a firm pillow for a mattress.
4:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I love a firm mattress.
4:29
SPEAKER_01: Fuck soft mattresses.
4:30
SPEAKER_01: Whoever is like sleeping on a soft mattress is like something's going on there.
4:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:36
SPEAKER_02: I love a Helix mattress.
4:38
SPEAKER_01: That's like the it's like rubber.
4:40
SPEAKER_02: No, not like typermeed.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: I don't care about that shit.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: It's just like firm and good, but it's like has a firm and good.
4:46
SPEAKER_02: It's firm and good.
4:47
SPEAKER_02: Come on in.
4:48
SPEAKER_02: Come on, Dan.
4:48
SPEAKER_01: It's firm and good.
4:49
SPEAKER_01: Why are we doing bits?
4:50
SPEAKER_02: This is like I don't know.
4:52
SPEAKER_02: Because I'm in like a chef hat.
4:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we're both like because I've been baking cookies all day.
4:56
SPEAKER_02: Cookie croissant?
4:58
SPEAKER_02: You know they're trying to rebrand the Keebler off.
5:00
SPEAKER_01: Well, you know this because you're working on some kind of Keebler secret project.
5:03
SPEAKER_01: The Keebler, the Keebler group is.
5:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's gonna have a gun now.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: Oh, good.
5:07
SPEAKER_02: The elves are armed.
5:09
SPEAKER_02: Horrible.
5:10
SPEAKER_02: That was my pitch.
5:12
SPEAKER_02: They're like, why?
5:14
SPEAKER_01: I'm like they bought it in the room.
5:15
SPEAKER_01: They're like, we love it.
5:16
SPEAKER_02: We love it.
5:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they bought it in the room.
5:18
SPEAKER_01: It's a series.
5:19
SPEAKER_02: They bought me too.
5:20
SPEAKER_02: They're like, and are you for sale for sex work?
5:24
SPEAKER_01: You're like, yes.
5:25
SPEAKER_01: And are you willing to be an escort?
5:28
SPEAKER_01: But solely on cookie related um solely for Ernie.
5:32
SPEAKER_01: Is that his name?
5:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
5:33
SPEAKER_01: Is it Ernie P.
5:34
SPEAKER_01: Keebler or something?
5:34
SPEAKER_01: P?
5:35
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
5:35
SPEAKER_01: Doesn't he have some like a dumb name?
5:39
SPEAKER_02: I don't know, but we'll just have to have to ask him when he's here.
5:44
SPEAKER_02: We should have a My eyeline's way off.
5:48
SPEAKER_02: Ernie.
5:50
SPEAKER_02: Ernie.
5:54
SPEAKER_01: I had one sip of fucking.
5:55
SPEAKER_01: Who is this?
5:56
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
5:57
SPEAKER_02: The hat is throwing me.
5:58
SPEAKER_02: Whoa! What do we think about the hair, guys?
6:01
SPEAKER_02: I think it's nice.
6:02
SPEAKER_02: It's getting weird.
6:03
SPEAKER_02: Hold on.
6:03
SPEAKER_02: Getting bigger.
6:04
SPEAKER_02: I need a mic stand.
6:06
SPEAKER_02: Because I'm always like, hold on.
6:08
SPEAKER_01: I don't does it matter?
6:11
SPEAKER_01: Can you blow yourself?
6:14
SPEAKER_01: Big, big head.
6:15
SPEAKER_01: Whoa.
6:17
SPEAKER_01: That's a waterfall.
6:18
SPEAKER_02: It's very like, yeah.
6:22
SPEAKER_02: You weren't expecting that, were you?
6:25
SPEAKER_02: I can't stop yelling and barking.
6:28
SPEAKER_02: That's like what it's like not cool.
6:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm becoming a furry.
6:31
SPEAKER_01: Isn't it like, um, isn't it like goes back to Drew Barrymore in uh Oh my god.
6:36
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
6:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:38
SPEAKER_02: That's like my favorite movie of all time.
6:39
SPEAKER_02: Tries Angels 2, yeah.
6:40
SPEAKER_02: Full throttle.
6:41
SPEAKER_02: Lerve.
6:41
SPEAKER_02: It's so so campy, and they do this crazy fight sequence, one of many, obviously, and it ends.
6:47
SPEAKER_02: And she just goes, Arr! Like a real it's genius.
6:50
SPEAKER_02: It's so good.
6:51
SPEAKER_01: It's not McGee did it again.
6:53
SPEAKER_01: It's McGee, right?
6:54
SPEAKER_01: Who the hell is McGee?
6:55
SPEAKER_01: The director?
6:56
SPEAKER_01: I love that like you feel the need to explain it as if like the people that are watching this haven't seen full throttle.
7:02
SPEAKER_02: I uh our our audience is young.
7:08
SPEAKER_01: We know we have an audience.
7:11
SPEAKER_02: Our audience is like toddler, niece and nephew.
7:14
SPEAKER_01: The con the concept of that really threw me.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't know why.
7:17
SPEAKER_02: They're toddlers.
7:18
SPEAKER_02: That's all we have.
7:19
SPEAKER_02: My family.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: This podcast is about wicked.
7:21
SPEAKER_01: This podcast is about pink.
7:22
SPEAKER_01: This podcast is about your niece and nephew.
7:24
SPEAKER_02: Well, it's hard for it not to be about pink.
7:26
SPEAKER_02: Like she comes up subconsciously, I think, because like T.
7:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
7:30
SPEAKER_02: Pink croissant.
7:31
SPEAKER_01: We are?
7:32
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
7:32
SPEAKER_01: But you're colorblind, aren't you?
7:34
SPEAKER_01: No, I'm not, actually.
7:35
SPEAKER_01: Oh, sonny.
7:37
SPEAKER_02: I always want to look like you are.
7:39
SPEAKER_02: I do.
7:40
SPEAKER_02: This is so barfaped.
7:41
SPEAKER_02: It's cute off fucking pink.
7:43
SPEAKER_02: Off a pink couch.
7:44
SPEAKER_02: It's cute in nature.
7:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's that it's that thing where yeah, it's cla it's clashing.
7:48
SPEAKER_01: It's we it's a thing we have a problem with.
7:50
SPEAKER_01: Clashing?
7:50
SPEAKER_01: Have you heard of that?
7:51
SPEAKER_01: I invented the term.
7:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm gonna clash two symbols on your head.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: I feel like clashing was such a 90s thing.
7:56
SPEAKER_01: Like you like Like you fucking are clashing.
8:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:00
SPEAKER_02: Very like high school uh but now it's like you look like garbage and it's okay.
8:05
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
8:06
SPEAKER_02: That's like cool.
8:06
SPEAKER_02: It's now it's hipster to clash.
8:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
8:10
SPEAKER_02: But uh the fuck was I saying?
8:13
SPEAKER_01: I don't know, I interrupted you, sorry.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: Pink.
8:14
SPEAKER_01: Pink.
8:15
SPEAKER_01: Subconscious colorblind.
8:16
SPEAKER_02: But then also, oh, colorblind.
8:18
SPEAKER_02: Huh.
8:19
SPEAKER_02: Now you're you keep freezing me up by by doing that thing you're doing, which is talking interrupting me.
8:25
SPEAKER_02: Oh we we're pro-interrupting here.
8:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's never a clear, concise thought ever.
8:31
SPEAKER_02: No, but I have been told that people like we said people say we interrupt, but it doesn't, it's not offensive.
8:36
SPEAKER_02: Oh, sound like interrupting.
8:38
SPEAKER_02: I like that note.
8:39
SPEAKER_02: I said subconsciously we talk about pink a lot because we're on a big pink touch, but I'm like, you almost forget that like she's talking about the color pink.
8:45
SPEAKER_02: You mean she mean pink?
8:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she should maybe like dye her hair pink again and have like an album.
8:51
SPEAKER_02: Like she should spin that, like milk it a little bit.
8:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
8:54
SPEAKER_02: Like again, Katy Perry.
8:55
SPEAKER_02: It's her bush, though.
8:56
SPEAKER_02: That's like the album cover.
8:58
SPEAKER_01: She's like, it's this pink flame coming out of her crotch.
9:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, she should.
9:03
SPEAKER_02: Pink?
9:04
SPEAKER_01: Pink.
9:04
SPEAKER_01: We know you're listening.
9:05
SPEAKER_02: We're available for hire.
9:06
SPEAKER_02: We are, for sure.
9:08
SPEAKER_02: We consult and write uh on many albums.
9:11
SPEAKER_02: Uh, who are you wearing?
9:12
SPEAKER_02: What is your problem?
9:12
SPEAKER_02: Why don't we do that?
9:14
SPEAKER_02: Um, who am I wearing?
9:15
SPEAKER_02: Wait, I totally forgot about my problem.
9:18
unknown: I had a problem.
9:18
SPEAKER_01: Wait, I had a problem too, and I forgot what it was also.
9:20
SPEAKER_02: Was it was I gonna say, I so had a problem.
9:25
SPEAKER_01: Oh, my I know my I remember my problem.
9:28
SPEAKER_01: What?
9:29
SPEAKER_01: Because this podcast has only been out for a month, but in reality, it's been about 16 years of prep work.
9:36
SPEAKER_01: I I miss my beard and I miss my long hair.
9:40
SPEAKER_01: So it's like I know the beard was cute.
9:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
9:43
SPEAKER_01: Kind of give you like a fuller face.
9:45
SPEAKER_01: Huh.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: You don't want to hear that.
9:46
SPEAKER_01: Like, oh no.
9:47
SPEAKER_01: Um, I in a good way.
9:49
SPEAKER_01: I liked it, yeah.
9:50
SPEAKER_01: I because I I don't know, I have like a I just get bored.
9:54
SPEAKER_01: And it's like I like to make a change, I like to switch it up, and it's like one of the few things that I can like, you know, it's like clothes.
10:00
SPEAKER_01: You can just guess you're gay a little bit.
10:02
SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's a little bit.
10:02
SPEAKER_02: It's like if you wanna if you need to mix up your hair, you're gay.
10:05
SPEAKER_01: You're gay.
10:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:06
SPEAKER_01: If you need to change up your look, you're gay.
10:08
SPEAKER_01: Um if you're constantly thinking about rebranding and um creating it in a new persona, you're gay.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: Well, luckily for you, your hair grows in a freakishly rapid uh pace.
10:17
SPEAKER_01: I guess so.
10:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:18
SPEAKER_01: I mean that beard can come back in in would four hours.
10:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:24
SPEAKER_01: Unlike a play-doh head, like you know, like you know, like uh old play-doh playset where you'd like push down like the hair with like play-doh.
10:31
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
10:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
10:33
SPEAKER_02: Chia pet vibes.
10:34
SPEAKER_02: Kinda.
10:37
SPEAKER_02: I'm wearing this is I think this is Ralph Lauren.
10:41
SPEAKER_02: Not Polo.
10:44
SPEAKER_02: Ralph.
10:45
SPEAKER_01: Moms love to say Lauren.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:48
SPEAKER_01: Ralph Lauren.
10:49
SPEAKER_02: If you weren't in fashion in the 90s and maybe even early aughts, you were like Lauren.
10:56
SPEAKER_02: It's like Lauren.
10:58
SPEAKER_02: He's an American designer.
11:00
SPEAKER_02: He has a ranch.
11:01
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
11:03
SPEAKER_02: He has a ranch.
11:04
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, and these are, I don't.
11:08
SPEAKER_02: Hmm.
11:09
SPEAKER_02: I don't even know.
11:11
SPEAKER_02: I don't know what these pants are, but they're Chinos, and it's giving me Chino booty, which we've said, you know, it's a thing.
11:15
SPEAKER_02: Chino booty.
11:16
SPEAKER_02: We never talked about that on the pod.
11:17
SPEAKER_02: No, but Chino Booty is like a guaranteed cake back there.
11:22
SPEAKER_01: Cake for days and leftovers.
11:24
SPEAKER_02: It's it's straight guys buttons that they have amazing butts.
11:29
SPEAKER_01: Or like the Chinos are giving are giving them Chino booty.
11:32
SPEAKER_02: And they must they must love it.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: But I was looking at like a cousin-in-law, and I was like, my done.
11:39
SPEAKER_02: Like that thing was pumped up.
11:41
SPEAKER_02: Pudging out of those pants.
11:43
SPEAKER_02: And he was like, he's like, I know.
11:46
SPEAKER_02: I don't know where.
11:48
SPEAKER_02: I don't know where.
11:49
SPEAKER_02: He's like, oh.
11:52
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, what?
11:53
unknown: I don't know where I have a better hair.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: That's the um And then he smacked it.
11:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:01
SPEAKER_01: You ever catch a Chino booty going up the subway stairs in front of you and it's just like Yeah, it's like you're screaming into it, and it just like it's a black hole that absorbs all light and sound.
12:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh, do I show my Chino booty?
12:16
SPEAKER_02: I can't stand up.
12:16
SPEAKER_01: Do it.
12:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh, the rag and bone.
12:20
SPEAKER_02: Oh, the rag and bone.
12:22
SPEAKER_02: Which I actually think is like a homophobic brand.
12:24
SPEAKER_01: Well a little like isn't all fashion is terrible and bad for the world and for people.
12:29
SPEAKER_01: Um that's giving you a chino stomach, too.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: I love your belt that braided, that like double, it's like just two braids.
12:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and it's really hard for me to not say, so braid your belt if you I don't know.
12:41
SPEAKER_02: Is that pink too?
12:42
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
12:43
SPEAKER_01: God damn it.
12:45
SPEAKER_01: L, whatever.
12:47
SPEAKER_01: That's party crash.
12:48
SPEAKER_01: That's party crasher, panty snatcher.
12:50
SPEAKER_01: Again! Tally it up.
12:52
SPEAKER_01: Someone.
12:53
SPEAKER_01: Someone, if you care about our lives.
12:55
SPEAKER_02: Make a Reddit.
12:56
SPEAKER_01: Just please.
12:59
SPEAKER_01: Tally up how many times we've mentioned Party Crasher, Panty Snatcher.
13:02
SPEAKER_02: And do make a Reddit.
13:03
SPEAKER_02: I think it would be what are you talking about?
13:06
SPEAKER_01: I think it would be every episode, maybe give or take one.
13:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and we're editing these, so imagine unedited.
13:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, Jesus Christ.
13:13
SPEAKER_02: Um my problem is I'm forgetting my problem, but I did just run into someone at the liquor store who, this girl in a pixie cut, who was complimenting this, but she was crazy and wouldn't stop talking to me.
13:25
SPEAKER_02: It was small talk beyond.
13:28
SPEAKER_02: She just was full conversation to the point where I had to ignore two calls from you because I couldn't break free of a conversation with a stranger.
13:34
SPEAKER_02: That's insane.
13:35
SPEAKER_02: And my problem is that happens to me a lot.
13:36
SPEAKER_02: I feel like just people are always just blowing my spot up.
13:39
SPEAKER_02: I don't know, maybe I have a friendly face.
13:42
SPEAKER_01: A little cherubic rosy cheeked porcelain doll.
13:47
SPEAKER_01: Pussy bitch who's easy to get out of here.
13:48
SPEAKER_02: I literally was like, I needed, I had it, I said I need to take this.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: I'm glad I was able to give you the out.
13:53
SPEAKER_02: And then I said sorry afterwards, and she's like, you have friends.
13:56
SPEAKER_02: It's okay.
13:57
SPEAKER_01: This is messed up.
13:58
SPEAKER_01: It was fucking weird.
13:59
SPEAKER_01: Some people, it's like, leave me alone.
14:02
SPEAKER_01: Don't talk to me.
14:03
SPEAKER_01: Don't look at me.
14:04
SPEAKER_02: Just say I like, like, I love that shirt.
14:06
SPEAKER_02: And I'd be, and I was like, thanks so much.
14:07
SPEAKER_01: That is the nicest.
14:08
SPEAKER_01: I mean the end.
14:09
SPEAKER_01: What how how great would that make you feel if somebody was just like, love the shirt and like walked out?
14:13
SPEAKER_02: It'd be like, oh I'd be like, yay, you're doing amazing socially.
14:17
SPEAKER_02: Do you want it?
14:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:19
SPEAKER_02: The shirt.
14:21
SPEAKER_02: That's how it should go down.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:23
SPEAKER_02: She would have maybe got the shirt if she was normal.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:26
SPEAKER_02: So uh sick of the crazies.
14:28
SPEAKER_02: Just and she looked super normal, but I was like, you're hammered because you're hanging out in a liquor store.
14:32
SPEAKER_01: I mean that there you go.
14:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
14:33
SPEAKER_02: And the guy, the clerk, was like, maybe picking up on my vibe, or just maybe, maybe he was loving it because he was off the hook for one fucking second.
14:39
SPEAKER_02: Oh, maybe that.
14:40
SPEAKER_02: She was in there for hours.
14:41
SPEAKER_02: Jeez, that that that sounds kind of fun.
14:44
SPEAKER_02: Liquor store's kind of popping.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:45
SPEAKER_02: There's always something going on in there.
14:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, there's always like a taste thing that like no one cares about.
14:49
SPEAKER_02: What do you think about this liquor?
14:50
SPEAKER_01: I don't like it.
14:51
SPEAKER_02: I know, it's pretty weird.
14:52
SPEAKER_02: I I was like, spicy pineapple margarita can.
14:55
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
14:56
SPEAKER_02: And the guy was like, it's pretty good.
14:57
SPEAKER_02: It's it's kind of like it's he said it has a nice jalapeno kind of.
15:02
SPEAKER_01: It's giving vibe.
15:04
SPEAKER_01: Like not cardboard, but like something industrial.
15:07
SPEAKER_02: You know what it's giving for me?
15:08
SPEAKER_02: I'm not getting industrial.
15:09
SPEAKER_02: I'm getting a heavy dose of the pineapple, but it tastes like uh the pineapple came off of a fucking ham.
15:15
SPEAKER_02: I'm getting savory.
15:17
SPEAKER_01: It's really, it's butterball.
15:19
SPEAKER_01: It's heavy notes of like umami like meaty.
15:22
SPEAKER_01: Umami.
15:23
SPEAKER_01: Umami.
15:24
SPEAKER_01: Uh no, it's bad.
15:26
SPEAKER_01: Right?
15:26
SPEAKER_01: Are you getting ham?
15:27
SPEAKER_01: I'm getting it's definitely it's giving, it's like we should come out with a ham cocktail.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, ham water.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: A ham water ham water.
15:33
SPEAKER_01: Ham water martini with a with a ham like rim.
15:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
15:37
SPEAKER_01: Like a ham slice like uh garnish.
15:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, one time.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: One time I was nothing.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: I was gonna say one time I had a ham salad, and that was one of the weirder, freakiest, freakier things I've ever tried.
15:51
SPEAKER_02: What is ham salad?
15:53
SPEAKER_02: Like an egg salad.
15:54
SPEAKER_02: It's exactly what you think it is.
15:55
SPEAKER_02: Like an egg, is it egg paste or is it ham blasted with mayo?
16:00
SPEAKER_02: Isn't that nasty?
16:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
16:02
SPEAKER_02: And like squaw slammed into like a little bun.
16:06
SPEAKER_02: How little?
16:11
SPEAKER_01: Um you saying like take a shirt of my back uh reminded me of in college one time, I saw a guy ride his bike past me with his hands like completely down by his side and just like pumping and like completely balanced.
16:26
SPEAKER_01: So annoying.
16:27
SPEAKER_01: But I was like, it looked so cool to me.
16:30
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I wanted to just shout out like, you look cool.
16:34
SPEAKER_01: But I knew that if I said that, he would have been like, fuck you! It would have been it would have felt like a And he gets killed by a bus.
16:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
16:40
SPEAKER_02: Um by like the T line in in Providence.
16:43
SPEAKER_02: There's not a T line.
16:44
SPEAKER_01: By the uh trolley.
16:45
SPEAKER_01: Trolley, yeah.
16:48
SPEAKER_01: Um But yeah, it's it's tough to know the right path to take about complimenting a stranger because it often can veer into like derangement, as you're saying, or it feels fake, or it feels like a violation.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: I rarely, rarely compliment anyone.
17:04
SPEAKER_02: Like in even your friends and your collaborators.
17:07
SPEAKER_02: Because it's just like it's a no.
17:10
SPEAKER_02: I don't got time.
17:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:12
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I like to throw like girls off and I'll be like presenting straight-ish.
17:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and then I'll be like, I love your nails.
17:20
SPEAKER_02: I'll be like, I love your nails, and then wink a little.
17:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
17:24
SPEAKER_01: There was uh and they're like, oh.
17:26
SPEAKER_02: They're like, oh honey.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Oh you're bad.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: Oh wait, what oh you're bad.
17:31
SPEAKER_02: Uh a quick little tangent, but I am dying to be like a stereotypical like um cross dresser, like in a roll.
17:38
SPEAKER_02: With like that kind of, oh honey, you know?
17:41
SPEAKER_02: Like, let's bring that back.
17:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, definitely.
17:42
SPEAKER_02: I think again, the pendulum swinging, I think it might be okay soon.
17:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:46
SPEAKER_01: I remember when we used to react and uh do stuff?
17:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:49
SPEAKER_02: I was saying we need to go back to narrative.
17:51
SPEAKER_01: Back to narrative.
17:52
SPEAKER_02: We're telling stories.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: Again, this is related to like me changing my hair and my beard.
17:55
SPEAKER_01: It's like we get we do one thing for 10 seconds, then we're like, it's good.
17:58
SPEAKER_01: Let's do it.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: You should change everything.
17:59
SPEAKER_01: Burn it.
18:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, the couch.
18:01
SPEAKER_01: We need oh my god, my still list the couch.
18:04
SPEAKER_02: Whoa.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: Pollution is real.
18:07
SPEAKER_02: The problem of pollution is real.
18:09
SPEAKER_02: There's a fish that's so scary and sad that it's like there's like a fish in it.
18:14
SPEAKER_02: No, it's like joking.
18:15
SPEAKER_02: What do those kill animals?
18:17
SPEAKER_01: Uh fish and turtles and straws.
18:19
SPEAKER_01: Straws.
18:20
SPEAKER_01: There's like a goose that's been like caught and a straw like head out.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:26
SPEAKER_02: That was a huge problem.
18:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:29
SPEAKER_02: So I got we fixed that.
18:30
SPEAKER_02: We got rid of it.
18:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we definitely fixed that.
18:32
SPEAKER_02: Who knew we'd lose plastic bags because of COVID and menus.
18:37
SPEAKER_02: It wasn't because of COVID.
18:38
SPEAKER_02: I know, but it happened then, and I just think it's because of COVID.
18:40
SPEAKER_01: The menus thing before.
18:42
SPEAKER_01: The menus we needed to get the menus back.
18:43
SPEAKER_01: We can get the menus back, but we're gonna get them back.
18:45
SPEAKER_01: I kind of love a paper bag.
18:46
SPEAKER_01: It feels so 70s to like walk home with your paper bag full of.
18:49
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I love that.
18:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
18:50
SPEAKER_02: I once tweeted there's something horny about carrying uh grow groceries in a paper bag with no handles.
18:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
18:55
SPEAKER_02: Because it's like mom is like making dinner tonight and like running late, but she does it all.
19:01
SPEAKER_02: She's a little sweaty, but like it's Cindy Crawford in my head.
19:06
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
19:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:07
SPEAKER_02: Totally.
19:08
SPEAKER_01: I get that.
19:08
SPEAKER_02: And it's because there's no no handles, it's has to be like smush up her upper boobies.
19:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's all about the biggest.
19:15
SPEAKER_01: And she's gotta she's gotta close the like close the fridge with her hip.
19:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
19:19
SPEAKER_02: Or like in her cleave.
19:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
19:21
SPEAKER_01: She's in my melons.
19:23
SPEAKER_02: And she's like, it's date night, so there's like a baguette.
19:27
SPEAKER_02: Kids.
19:28
SPEAKER_02: Go to your grandparents.
19:29
SPEAKER_02: It's like put the baguette down.
19:32
SPEAKER_02: Go to your grandparents.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: Mommy's getting railed tonight.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: Jink your hamcock.
19:38
SPEAKER_02: Wait, what was that show on Netflix?
19:40
SPEAKER_02: It was called Hamcock.
19:41
SPEAKER_02: Sex Life.
19:43
SPEAKER_01: Sex Education?
19:44
SPEAKER_02: No, no.
19:46
SPEAKER_02: Sex and Life.
19:47
SPEAKER_02: Sex slash life.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: It was so embarrassing.
19:50
SPEAKER_02: And it is so cringe.
19:51
SPEAKER_02: I really hope they they should make a season two.
19:53
SPEAKER_02: Because it was so cringe and fun to hate watch.
19:57
SPEAKER_02: But at one point, like her husband came home and said, I got Raul's.
20:02
SPEAKER_02: Like that was like the right thing.
20:04
SPEAKER_02: Writing.
20:05
SPEAKER_02: Like Raul's was the fancy, like.
20:07
SPEAKER_00: Oh, Raul's.
20:09
SPEAKER_02: Because they like she was having an affair and he was trying to maybe spice things up by getting like Rauls.
20:14
SPEAKER_02: And it's like, don't go to Raul's, okay?
20:18
SPEAKER_02: Don't write Raul's.
20:19
SPEAKER_02: Don't write Raul's.
20:21
SPEAKER_02: Like.
20:21
SPEAKER_02: Raul's.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: I got Raul.
20:26
SPEAKER_02: I love actors that can't act.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: Maybe you want to take that again?
20:29
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:30
SPEAKER_01: It's like, no, I'm happy with that.
20:31
SPEAKER_02: This is stressing me out.
20:33
SPEAKER_01: Throw it away.
20:34
SPEAKER_01: I mean, throw it off the set.
20:35
SPEAKER_01: Don't throw it away.
20:36
SPEAKER_01: It's my hat.
20:37
SPEAKER_01: You're like, I can't finally!
20:39
SPEAKER_02: This is like me killing you.
20:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's my whore crux.
20:43
SPEAKER_02: It's your Katy Perry blue wig burning.
20:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:46
SPEAKER_02: Although, like, that's that was.
20:48
SPEAKER_02: The only one who talks about that.
20:48
SPEAKER_02: No one knows what you're talking about.
20:49
SPEAKER_02: No one knows what the fuck you're talking about.
20:52
SPEAKER_02: One time I sent, was it to you guys?
20:54
SPEAKER_02: I was like, what is this from?
20:56
SPEAKER_01: And I think it was about 0.2 seconds in succession, Titanic, Titanic.
21:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you and Kat.
21:01
SPEAKER_02: Tedesco, our friend.
21:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:03
SPEAKER_02: Our friend, former collaborator.
21:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
21:04
SPEAKER_02: Soon to be guest.
21:06
SPEAKER_01: I was expecting that.
21:06
SPEAKER_01: And she'll just return my call.
21:08
SPEAKER_02: Soon to be gay?
21:09
SPEAKER_01: I thought you were in.
21:09
SPEAKER_02: I was like, hopefully.
21:10
SPEAKER_02: I hope so.
21:11
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, and that's why I was like, wow, I these are my people.
21:14
SPEAKER_02: I have found my try.
21:15
SPEAKER_02: But I maybe it was too easy.
21:17
SPEAKER_01: Well you do talk about Titanic a lot.
21:21
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
21:24
SPEAKER_02: I like the production of it all.
21:28
SPEAKER_01: I love that Titanic was a two VHS box heaven.
21:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
21:33
SPEAKER_02: And you could just skip to like the tragedy.
21:36
SPEAKER_01: Skip to the nudie part.
21:38
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
21:38
SPEAKER_01: Do you ever have like a sleepover with your guy friends and it was like, hey mom, can we watch Titanic?
21:42
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, why do you guys want to watch Titanic?
21:44
SPEAKER_01: Do you want to look watch a movie with boobs in it?
21:46
SPEAKER_02: And it's like, no, we just love the production.
21:48
SPEAKER_02: See, my mom was like, boobs, watch the boobs.
21:52
SPEAKER_02: You like that, huh?
21:53
SPEAKER_02: Nodding my head.
21:54
SPEAKER_01: I don't not like the boobies.
21:56
SPEAKER_01: I always thought her boobs looked CGI.
21:58
SPEAKER_01: I think it was a boob.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:01
SPEAKER_01: Something about it always felt.
22:02
SPEAKER_01: I should be a boob double.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: I should be boob double.
22:05
SPEAKER_01: Um yeah.
22:06
SPEAKER_01: Uh those things are butting.
22:10
SPEAKER_01: It looks like it.
22:12
SPEAKER_02: You're so built.
22:14
SPEAKER_02: I'm chunky but but chunky built, and it's intentional.
22:17
SPEAKER_02: Chunky but funky.
22:19
SPEAKER_02: My problem is I like to be like, I think I've said this before.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: I want to be like big and muscly and like a muscle chub.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:24
SPEAKER_02: As like a guy, I think that's so hot.
22:26
SPEAKER_02: But as a girl, I want to be like and that's misogyny.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: It's rooted in misogyny.
22:32
SPEAKER_02: Because you you don't think you can be a pretty like I'm attributing beauty to like thinness.
22:37
SPEAKER_02: But yeah.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: But not really.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: I honestly it's like a comfort thing.
22:40
SPEAKER_02: And I just I just like to feel like that's my dilemma.
22:43
SPEAKER_02: So it's like it's tough.
22:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:45
SPEAKER_02: It's tough when you're both.
22:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
22:46
SPEAKER_02: Sweetie.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: I'm wearing um this is Calvin.
22:50
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
22:50
SPEAKER_01: Who are you wearing?
22:51
SPEAKER_01: What is your problem?
22:51
SPEAKER_01: I think this is Calvin.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: I did already did my problem, which was that I want to change my look and blah blah blah misadapt or change it.
22:57
SPEAKER_02: You wish you could just swap on.
22:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
22:59
SPEAKER_02: Click on and off that beard of yours.
23:03
SPEAKER_01: Um, this is Calvin.
23:04
SPEAKER_01: I think this is Calvin Collection.
23:06
SPEAKER_02: This is like it looks collections.
23:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
23:09
SPEAKER_01: This is from the real real.
23:10
SPEAKER_01: Everything I get is secondhand, um, which I love.
23:13
SPEAKER_01: Uh, and then this is a uh uh an Avita t-shirt from the movie with Madonna, but I wear it in honor of my mom, who was in the original cast of Avita on Broadway as the alternate um Ava Perone.
23:31
SPEAKER_02: Which is so iconic.
23:32
SPEAKER_02: We need your mom on here.
23:34
SPEAKER_01: I would love my mom to get on the couch, she would tear it up, literally.
23:38
SPEAKER_02: Yes, she's sharp ass.
23:39
SPEAKER_01: She wears a lot of studs.
23:42
SPEAKER_01: Um, you haven't seen her since she stopped dyeing her hair.
23:45
SPEAKER_01: Sorry, mom.
23:45
SPEAKER_02: Wait, you she has white hair?
23:47
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, like mother like Dora.
23:50
SPEAKER_02: My God, I love that tear.
23:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, good for you.
23:53
SPEAKER_02: My mom always is considering it, and then she can't last one second.
23:57
SPEAKER_01: She's like, I need to be springy and brown.
24:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and chocolate.
24:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:03
SPEAKER_02: She's always like struggling with her hair or like has a different vision of her.
24:06
SPEAKER_02: She's curly.
24:07
SPEAKER_02: She can achieve it.
24:07
SPEAKER_02: Curly, yeah.
24:08
SPEAKER_02: We're curly, it's hard.
24:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
24:11
SPEAKER_02: Um, and she was like, that's how I want my hair.
24:14
SPEAKER_02: I can't get it like that.
24:15
SPEAKER_02: And I look over, it was Howard Stern.
24:17
SPEAKER_02: I was like, mom.
24:18
SPEAKER_02: I thought it was AJ McLean.
24:20
SPEAKER_02: No, no.
24:20
SPEAKER_02: I say that that's who she wants to be.
24:23
SPEAKER_02: I like pretend my mom's a trans man.
24:25
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, yeah, that's who like she would look like, AJ McLean, if she was a man.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
24:30
SPEAKER_02: Like a chin strap, white, just like sharp.
24:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
24:35
SPEAKER_01: Moms love sharp.
24:36
SPEAKER_02: Moms love sharp, and they also love Kenneth Cole and think it's designer.
24:40
SPEAKER_02: But it ain't.
24:43
SPEAKER_02: Um see moms juice Kenneth Cole.
24:47
SPEAKER_01: Is that your campaign?
24:49
unknown: Yeah.
24:50
SPEAKER_02: Um you know what I love because I said choosy moms.
24:54
SPEAKER_02: I'm thinking of peanut butter.
24:55
SPEAKER_02: I don't love Jeff.
24:56
SPEAKER_02: And I am a juicy mom.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: And a juicy mom.
24:59
SPEAKER_01: A juicy, juicy mom.
25:01
SPEAKER_02: Uh I love, it's like my guilty pledge.
25:04
SPEAKER_02: I love reduced fat skip egg.
25:07
SPEAKER_02: It is so good.
25:08
SPEAKER_02: It just doesn't taste like it tastes sweeter than regular peanut butter, because you know, like the scam of like reduced fat.
25:14
SPEAKER_02: I'm surprised they're still making it.
25:15
SPEAKER_02: I'm sure it's dead stock, so I need to stock up on it.
25:18
SPEAKER_01: Have you talked about this already?
25:19
SPEAKER_01: On the pod?
25:20
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
25:21
SPEAKER_01: Or just or just together.
25:23
SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about peanut maybe in Mexico.
25:25
SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
25:25
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
25:26
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
25:26
SPEAKER_02: I was like, I'm getting everyone reduced fat peanut butter.
25:29
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
25:30
SPEAKER_02: Look under your Mexico.
25:33
SPEAKER_01: Pool chair.
25:34
SPEAKER_01: It's hard to say.
25:35
SPEAKER_01: We we we were in Mexico and it could it felt like we could not drink enough.
25:39
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
25:39
SPEAKER_01: The the drinks were they were watered down from the source.
25:42
SPEAKER_01: Like the bottles were watered down.
25:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
25:44
SPEAKER_01: However, in upon retrospect, I was like, I don't remember anything from that trip.
25:49
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I'm I we definitely were like lightly toasted all day long every day for the entire time we were there.
25:55
SPEAKER_02: I was chasing a buzz hard.
25:57
SPEAKER_02: I could not.
25:57
SPEAKER_02: If I got a buzz, it was like one millisecond.
26:00
SPEAKER_01: Couldn't get there.
26:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:02
SPEAKER_02: Those all inclusives, they get you.
26:04
SPEAKER_02: They're a little like scammy in that sense.
26:06
SPEAKER_02: Because like we were really like going to the bottle.
26:09
SPEAKER_02: We were like, make it a triple.
26:10
SPEAKER_02: Can you make it a triple?
26:12
SPEAKER_02: And they were.
26:13
SPEAKER_01: They're like, we're we're trying.
26:14
SPEAKER_01: It's just it doesn't work that way here.
26:16
SPEAKER_02: And it's like, that's not you would have been the amount of alcohol this guy drank for him, you would have been in a stretcher.
26:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
26:22
SPEAKER_01: That's what I said.
26:23
SPEAKER_01: I was like, this, if this, if this was real, I would have been dead.
26:27
SPEAKER_01: It would have been like there's no, there's we had like 16 drinks.
26:32
SPEAKER_01: And that sounds like now and it sounds like that's why I ballooned.
26:35
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
26:35
SPEAKER_01: Sounds like we're being like, we're we're like, oh, we're downplaying our alcohol consumption.
26:39
SPEAKER_01: And it's like, no, it it was impossible to get intoxicated.
26:44
SPEAKER_01: I know, isn't that awful?
26:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
26:45
SPEAKER_02: But other than that, it was so nice to just relax.
26:47
SPEAKER_02: I feel like you can't remember shit because we actually were relaxed for once.
26:50
SPEAKER_02: We kind of were just were like doing nothing.
26:52
SPEAKER_02: And that means maybe it was super mellow.
26:57
SPEAKER_02: Have early onset because of that.
26:59
SPEAKER_01: That's you made you black out.
27:00
SPEAKER_01: When I when I go full dementia, you're gonna have to feed me um everything.
27:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, oh I will.
27:05
SPEAKER_02: I'll plug you up to the feeder real quick.
27:09
SPEAKER_01: Um, it was a great trip.
27:11
SPEAKER_01: It was a great trip with a great group.
27:12
SPEAKER_01: Um, super fun.
27:14
SPEAKER_01: It was Sarah, Anya, Mark, and Michael.
27:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it was a triple date.
27:17
SPEAKER_02: It was a triple date.
27:18
SPEAKER_02: I went with my ex, like, because we still are very close, obviously.
27:21
SPEAKER_02: She's my best date.
27:22
SPEAKER_02: So we roomed together.
27:24
SPEAKER_02: Different beds, though.
27:25
SPEAKER_02: I was kind of like, come on.
27:26
SPEAKER_02: I know.
27:27
SPEAKER_02: And she's like, no kidding.
27:28
SPEAKER_02: She's like, yeah, she's like, I know.
27:29
SPEAKER_02: I'm always pumping.
27:30
SPEAKER_02: I'm always down, but she's like, get away from me.
27:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, which is healthy and normal.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:34
SPEAKER_01: Um, pretty much.
27:35
SPEAKER_02: But I was like, are we gonna fuck maybe?
27:37
SPEAKER_02: But um, no, turns out weird things don't happen when you can't get drunk.
27:42
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:42
SPEAKER_02: Mistakes aren't made.
27:43
SPEAKER_02: So I'm glad we did.
27:44
SPEAKER_02: Not a single that's the other thing.
27:45
SPEAKER_02: It was like, yeah.
27:46
SPEAKER_01: It was a it was a largely, I would say 99.4% heterosexual resort.
27:52
SPEAKER_01: Higher.
27:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, point eight.
27:54
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:55
SPEAKER_01: Um, and everyone was on their best behavior.
27:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
27:58
SPEAKER_01: It was like not a single person slipped and fell, no one was allowed.
28:04
SPEAKER_01: Like it was like, I was thinking on a way here today randomly.
28:06
SPEAKER_02: Like, sometimes like at the best part of those vacations are seeing like awful people, like people watching.
28:11
SPEAKER_02: There was no people watching being entitled or weird.
28:14
SPEAKER_02: Like that's not nice to see, but like it's still like wow, shit.
28:17
SPEAKER_01: There was nothing to bounce off of.
28:19
SPEAKER_01: There's nothing to react to.
28:20
SPEAKER_01: Everyone was just normal and pleasant.
28:22
SPEAKER_01: And uh not only that, it was like and again, like not to frame everything through the gay experience, but it was like you, me, and Michael were the only gay people at a 15-mile radius.
28:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I popped on the apps and there was a faceless profile 15 miles away.
28:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
28:38
SPEAKER_01: Um, and I was like, it was like there were open, it was this place was vast.
28:42
SPEAKER_01: There were like open stretches of just like infrastructure where if this was a gay resort, there would be multiple, multiple people like fucking in the stairwell down to like the basement.
28:52
SPEAKER_01: It was just like there were so many opportunities for naughtiness that like were not being taken by anyone.
28:57
SPEAKER_01: And it was like, yeah.
28:58
SPEAKER_02: I sometimes feel in general resorts aren't horny.
29:01
SPEAKER_02: Like, remember I was in, I was in Anguilla once on a job, and it was like such a nice uh opportunity.
29:05
SPEAKER_02: That's another thing.
29:06
SPEAKER_02: I'm like so spoiled because I went to do makeup for like these rich people, they flew everyone out, it was this crazy, crazy thing.
29:12
SPEAKER_02: And it was Anguilla, it's like they have some of the best beaches in the world.
29:15
SPEAKER_02: Uh, so I'm spoiled everywhere I go.
29:17
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, nah.
29:19
SPEAKER_02: My mom, one time I was on kids, she's like, this is heaven, paradise.
29:22
SPEAKER_02: And I'm like, it's not.
29:24
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
29:25
SPEAKER_02: I'm fucked.
29:26
SPEAKER_02: And it was free.
29:26
SPEAKER_02: It was at the four seasons.
29:27
SPEAKER_02: I had my own season.
29:28
SPEAKER_02: Like, forget it.
29:29
SPEAKER_01: Like, we're like, We drove past the four seasons going to our resort, and I was like, ow.
29:33
SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
29:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:34
SPEAKER_01: Um, but then I left the resort and I got an E.
29:37
SPEAKER_01: coli.
29:38
SPEAKER_01: Ebola?
29:38
SPEAKER_01: Ebola?
29:39
SPEAKER_01: You did not get Ebola.
29:40
SPEAKER_01: What is Ebola?
29:41
SPEAKER_01: Ebola is when you bleed out of your skin.
29:43
SPEAKER_02: That happened.
29:44
SPEAKER_02: No, you had E.
29:45
SPEAKER_02: coli.
29:45
SPEAKER_02: Nice shit.
29:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
29:46
SPEAKER_02: I was shitting.
29:47
SPEAKER_01: Not that kind of leakage.
29:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, and everyone, you know what?
29:48
SPEAKER_02: Everyone fucking makes fun of me for leaving the resort, but I was being a gentleman and I was going, I didn't want to leave the resort.
29:54
SPEAKER_02: I didn't want to go out.
29:56
SPEAKER_02: It was like the last night.
29:57
SPEAKER_02: I was being in like making sure my female friend wasn't gonna get murdered.
30:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
30:01
SPEAKER_01: No, no.
30:02
SPEAKER_02: So I was being a gentleman, everyone, and yeah, I drank the ice.
30:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it it your ass was drinking.
30:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I was like something, all right.
30:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:12
SPEAKER_02: I was like, that ain't Christian.
30:14
SPEAKER_02: Like, what was going on back there?
30:16
SPEAKER_02: Didn't I tell you guys at the resort I had to like submit poop?
30:19
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, yeah.
30:21
SPEAKER_02: Sorry, this is like so gross.
30:22
SPEAKER_02: I know.
30:22
SPEAKER_02: Maybe we don't need to talk about it.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, maybe not.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: Well, I submitted a lot accidentally.
30:28
SPEAKER_02: I had much was it?
30:30
SPEAKER_02: They give you like a takeout box.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
30:32
SPEAKER_02: And they're like bring it back.
30:35
SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, it turns out it's hard to shut the faucet off when it's that loose.
30:39
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, close the shutter.
30:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, so I delivered a fucking full doggy bag.
30:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:45
SPEAKER_02: She was she was barking.
30:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that they that is so humiliating.
30:48
SPEAKER_02: I was like, yeah, hope uh you got a lot in there.
30:51
SPEAKER_02: This should do a lot for you.
30:52
SPEAKER_02: I think you might find something of use in that pile.
30:54
SPEAKER_02: I'd like to donate this for research.
30:58
SPEAKER_02: Fucking wheelbarrow.
31:00
SPEAKER_02: Jesus Christ.
31:02
SPEAKER_02: Saying wheelbarrel is so nasty.
31:04
SPEAKER_02: I know.
31:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm already sweating.
31:05
SPEAKER_01: I know, you've been sweating the whole time.
31:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, why?
31:07
SPEAKER_01: Because you well, it's hot.
31:08
SPEAKER_01: These lights are hot.
31:10
SPEAKER_02: It's the fame.
31:12
SPEAKER_02: Uh-oh.
31:12
SPEAKER_02: I'm literally like trickling.
31:14
SPEAKER_02: I'm not even a drag.
31:15
SPEAKER_02: You're a sweater.
31:16
SPEAKER_02: I'm a sweater.
31:17
SPEAKER_02: It sucks.
31:18
SPEAKER_02: And it I sweat just from the head.
31:20
SPEAKER_02: I was hooking up recently, and the person that's just from the head.
31:25
SPEAKER_01: Like, I mean, everyone sweats in different ways.
31:33
SPEAKER_01: I told you this thing was popping off.
31:35
SPEAKER_02: I know.
31:36
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna regret it.
31:38
SPEAKER_02: It's very like it was a big B, you know, like Santa Claus.
31:44
SPEAKER_02: That's what this t-shirt's giving.
31:46
SPEAKER_02: It's like I know I'm chunky and kind of like beefy right now, but I was like, something's going on because this is a little like smaller than it should be.
31:54
SPEAKER_02: And it turns out it was a small.
31:56
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, what is that still doing everyone?
31:58
SPEAKER_01: I don't think either of us can wear a small.
31:59
SPEAKER_01: That's insane.
32:00
SPEAKER_01: I gotta pull my pants down the right.
32:02
SPEAKER_01: That's mean an extra small.
32:03
SPEAKER_01: Like, wow, pull show us your wiener.
32:08
SPEAKER_01: That's for the Patreon.
32:10
SPEAKER_01: Um I'd love to show my wiener to everyone.
32:13
SPEAKER_02: Like, can we castrate you for charity?
32:15
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
32:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, please.
32:17
SPEAKER_02: Uh do we take a break because I'm out of drinks?
32:20
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, me too.
32:21
SPEAKER_01: And then when we come back, we'll talk about these puppies.
32:24
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
32:25
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
32:26
SPEAKER_01: You're still this this is the definition of your bad.
32:30
SPEAKER_02: You're bad.
32:32
SPEAKER_02: You are bad.
32:33
SPEAKER_02: You've been a very bad boy, Gaga.
32:39
SPEAKER_02: People love burps and shit talk and Nicole pounds of poop delivered to your doctor.
32:47
SPEAKER_02: We're losing followers.
32:48
SPEAKER_02: By the second.
32:49
SPEAKER_02: So shit in a bag.
32:51
SPEAKER_02: Hey.
32:53
SPEAKER_02: BRB.
33:00
SPEAKER_02: That's kind of cool with my really?
33:04
SPEAKER_02: Well, from the side, it's giving like you have a head like a head wrap on.
33:08
SPEAKER_01: Oh, it's very um uh Alicia keys.
33:10
SPEAKER_01: Very Alicia keys.
33:11
SPEAKER_01: And it kind of is cool.
33:12
SPEAKER_01: Like maybe this is your new personality.
33:14
SPEAKER_01: Uh for those who are only listening, um, maybe hop on over to YouTube and take a look at what I'm wearing on my head.
33:21
SPEAKER_01: And it's a fedora.
33:23
SPEAKER_01: It's a fedora on top of my hat.
33:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
33:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we put hats on because we got a we uh Yeah, we get we put hats on because we got embarrassed.
33:30
SPEAKER_02: Although I have a beret on and it's kind of horny.
33:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you look good.
33:34
SPEAKER_01: It's very, it's very, what were you saying?
33:38
SPEAKER_02: Lorraine.
33:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's very Lorraine.
33:40
SPEAKER_01: It's a Lorgen.
33:41
SPEAKER_01: It's very Rugrats in Paris.
33:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
33:43
SPEAKER_02: Coco La Bouche.
33:45
SPEAKER_02: I want a daughter named Coco.
33:46
SPEAKER_01: I know you've said that a few times.
33:48
SPEAKER_01: Isn't that hot?
33:48
SPEAKER_01: I don't know about that.
33:50
SPEAKER_01: Por Portia.
33:51
SPEAKER_01: It feels very like 2014.
33:55
SPEAKER_01: Which was a long time ago.
33:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, almost 10 years.
33:57
SPEAKER_02: Oh, 10 years.
33:58
SPEAKER_02: 10 years.
33:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
33:58
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
33:59
SPEAKER_01: Jesus Christ.
34:00
SPEAKER_02: Yesterday I was at the gym, and this woman who I often stare at because she's just so like severe, and she has a slicked back bun, middle part lacquered to her head, and she's pretty buff and like works out diligently.
34:16
SPEAKER_02: That's why she's there all the time.
34:17
SPEAKER_02: And I just am fascinated by her because she's like so stern and scary.
34:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
34:20
SPEAKER_02: But yesterday she was like hovering near the bench I was on, and I was just like, are are you waiting for this?
34:26
SPEAKER_02: Um, because I wanted to let her know that I only had one more set left because I was on my phone dilly-delling, but I wanted to be like, I'm almost done.
34:31
SPEAKER_02: And she looked at me in the most mean, like, she was so mean.
34:34
SPEAKER_02: She made me feel so stupid and humiliated.
34:37
SPEAKER_02: She stopped stared at me and then was like no.
34:45
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, uh and then we both were like darting eyes because it got awkward.
34:50
SPEAKER_02: I was just trying to be nice.
34:52
SPEAKER_02: I was like so blown away by how icy and mean she was.
34:55
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
34:56
SPEAKER_02: So she just was like I want to become her.
35:01
SPEAKER_01: You should uh slick back and middle part and bun.
35:04
SPEAKER_01: Oh, I would live for that.
35:05
SPEAKER_02: That is so my vibe.
35:06
SPEAKER_02: Unfortunately, like I it just means I need a weird, like Oh, and I mean as a boy.
35:11
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
35:12
SPEAKER_01: As a freaky freaky boy.
35:14
SPEAKER_02: Okay, Alicia Keys.
35:15
SPEAKER_02: I'm liking this new personality.
35:17
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah.
35:19
SPEAKER_02: But that's so wait, she just was she was it was a complete like like action.
35:23
SPEAKER_02: She wasn't there, she was doing something else that I didn't know.
35:25
SPEAKER_02: I couldn't see it was one of the things that you pull up.
35:28
SPEAKER_02: It's like a pole stuck to the wall.
35:30
SPEAKER_02: Sure.
35:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:31
SPEAKER_02: On a hinge.
35:31
SPEAKER_02: You're talking to the wrong guy.
35:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:33
SPEAKER_02: Although you do know a pole, pole stuck to the wall on a hinge that you back up into.
35:39
SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
35:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:43
SPEAKER_02: She gaslit me or just like stared at me, and her face totally dropped.
35:48
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Go fuck yourself, lady.
35:52
SPEAKER_02: Like, I was just trying to be nice.
35:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
35:55
SPEAKER_02: I think you're cool because I think you're a villain.
35:56
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I'm gay, I like villains.
35:58
SPEAKER_01: She's she throws up.
36:01
SPEAKER_02: My god.
36:02
SPEAKER_01: Appalling.
36:03
SPEAKER_01: Appalling.
36:04
SPEAKER_02: Appalling.
36:04
SPEAKER_02: She reminds me of um one of my favorite villains, which was Debbie Mazar in Beethoven as Regina.
36:14
SPEAKER_01: The original you love Beethoven.
36:16
SPEAKER_02: Not really.
36:18
SPEAKER_02: Just I like Regina.
36:20
SPEAKER_02: And it's like the human being.
36:21
SPEAKER_02: She has like a dumb idiot sidekick.
36:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
36:23
SPEAKER_02: And you're kind of my dumb idiot sidekick.
36:25
SPEAKER_01: Shut the You're my dumb idiot sidekick.
36:27
SPEAKER_02: For sure, but like not when I'm like.
36:29
SPEAKER_01: I'd love to play I'd love to play an idiot.
36:31
SPEAKER_01: I think that'd be so fun.
36:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
36:33
SPEAKER_02: I'd play one full time.
36:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:35
SPEAKER_01: I'd love to dip in once.
36:37
SPEAKER_01: I'd love to play a villain.
36:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:40
SPEAKER_01: Gazel villain.
36:40
SPEAKER_01: Debbie and idiot sidekick.
36:42
SPEAKER_01: Debbie Masar is cunt.
36:44
SPEAKER_01: Just the concept of the kid.
36:45
SPEAKER_01: She's cunt.
36:46
SPEAKER_01: She is she.
36:48
SPEAKER_02: Beethoven.
36:49
SPEAKER_02: Nah, it's kind of fun.
36:50
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you don't I always think about like the giant steak prop when like the dog is having like a fantasy.
36:56
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:57
SPEAKER_02: Because it looks pretty fucking bad.
36:58
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
36:59
SPEAKER_02: But I I want to own it.
37:01
SPEAKER_01: I'm sure it's in a vault somewhere.
37:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's in the Smithsonian.
37:05
SPEAKER_01: So is Debbie Mazar.
37:07
SPEAKER_01: She deserves to be.
37:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:08
SPEAKER_01: She's then Stopped.
37:09
SPEAKER_01: No, no.
37:10
SPEAKER_01: We love it.
37:10
SPEAKER_01: No, no, she's alive and we're still.
37:11
SPEAKER_01: Where's Debbie?
37:12
SPEAKER_01: Debbie should be in something.
37:13
SPEAKER_01: Like, is Debbie in like uh like yellow jackets or something?
37:15
SPEAKER_01: Like uh Yeah.
37:16
SPEAKER_01: No, she was in younger.
37:18
SPEAKER_01: Oh god.
37:19
SPEAKER_01: That was again like 10 years ago, too, though.
37:20
SPEAKER_01: Also, that's and it's playing like a someone 20 years younger.
37:24
SPEAKER_01: That that show was centered on the fact that people mistook her for being younger than she was.
37:29
SPEAKER_02: I just accidentally said the premise.
37:30
SPEAKER_02: Right, right.
37:31
SPEAKER_01: But also, but the reason why you said that is because it's like who's buying that?
37:36
SPEAKER_01: It was so stupid.
37:38
SPEAKER_01: Sarah was buying it.
37:40
SPEAKER_01: What a vanity project to be like, actually, I'm in a show where I'm playing someone who I is mistaken for being much younger than they actually are.
37:47
SPEAKER_01: Hilly Duffy.
37:48
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
37:49
SPEAKER_01: We've we've said that she is very lucky, Hillary Duffy.
37:52
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, I know.
37:53
SPEAKER_01: For the career that she's done.
37:54
SPEAKER_02: She really is.
37:56
SPEAKER_02: My sister loves Hill Duff because she's kind of a boxy girl, like the Ballastones are boxy.
38:00
SPEAKER_02: It works for me because I'm a man sometimes, but I I understand like needing someone, needing that representation as a woman.
38:07
SPEAKER_02: Be like, yeah.
38:09
SPEAKER_01: We fight for the boxes.
38:10
SPEAKER_02: Boxy girls exist.
38:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:11
SPEAKER_02: And it's okay.
38:12
SPEAKER_01: They sure do.
38:13
SPEAKER_01: They sure do.
38:15
SPEAKER_01: Last episode you were talking about celebrities who are drinking Ozempic.
38:17
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
38:18
SPEAKER_02: That's a new segment.
38:18
SPEAKER_02: Are you taking Ozempic or are you drinking Ozempic?
38:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
38:21
SPEAKER_01: Uh unfortunately, a couple who is drinking Ozempic is uh Kirsten Dunst and Jesse Clemens.
38:28
SPEAKER_01: They are they are guzzling.
38:30
SPEAKER_01: They are kind of like Christy.
38:33
SPEAKER_01: I mean, you guys look great.
38:34
SPEAKER_01: It's just the two the above it.
38:37
SPEAKER_02: But on a but based on like the role she takes, it seemed like she was like, I have far arms.
38:43
SPEAKER_02: Fat arms.
38:44
SPEAKER_02: Like the fat arm movement.
38:45
SPEAKER_02: Like it seems like it was empowering for her.
38:47
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
38:48
SPEAKER_02: And it was like she's an icon.
38:49
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:50
SPEAKER_02: She's a smart lady who was above vanity.
38:52
SPEAKER_02: And now she's literally cannot get enough of Ozemp.
38:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
38:56
SPEAKER_02: And her husband, I think it's probably because her husband started probably for a role or something.
39:00
SPEAKER_02: And she's like, what the fuck?
39:02
SPEAKER_02: She's like, if you're losing, I'm losing.
39:04
SPEAKER_02: He's like, I'm wearing your class.
39:09
SPEAKER_01: God, it's so hot to be Zempic.
39:12
SPEAKER_01: I'm like, check under your seat.
39:14
SPEAKER_01: It's weight gainer, though.
39:17
SPEAKER_02: Not like it's my favorite.
39:18
SPEAKER_01: It's so hot to be a couple, an actor couple where you're both like actually really good actors.
39:24
SPEAKER_02: I know.
39:25
SPEAKER_02: It's beautiful.
39:26
SPEAKER_02: I love her.
39:26
SPEAKER_01: I love her.
39:27
SPEAKER_01: I love him.
39:27
SPEAKER_01: I love them together.
39:28
SPEAKER_02: I know.
39:28
SPEAKER_02: They're amazing.
39:29
SPEAKER_01: It's like their like demonic inverse is like Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin.
39:34
SPEAKER_01: Oh, like an like an actor couple who's who are like bad actors.
39:37
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
39:38
SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's kind of mind-blowing.
39:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
39:40
SPEAKER_01: But they're like.
39:41
SPEAKER_01: Felicia Keys.
39:44
SPEAKER_02: That's your drag name.
39:45
SPEAKER_01: I'd love to throw this at the camera.
39:46
SPEAKER_01: Have you seen that video of Paula Abdul doing some like performance at a awards show and she takes off her fedora and whips it and it flies like a like a like Xena's weapon like into uh Julianne Huff's neck?
40:00
SPEAKER_01: You've never seen that?
40:01
SPEAKER_01: It's so funny because it's it's like a four-second clip where she's just like she's just like coming down the aisle and she takes off her hat and she whips it and it hits Julianne Huff in the neck and she like looks in the camera and she's like, oh my god.
40:11
SPEAKER_02: That sounds kind of funny.
40:12
SPEAKER_01: It's hilarious, but complete accident.
40:14
SPEAKER_01: But I try to avoid the huffs at all.
40:16
SPEAKER_01: Same.
40:17
SPEAKER_01: I don't know what's on the club.
40:18
SPEAKER_01: Talk about siblings that want to get married.
40:19
SPEAKER_02: But he's gay.
40:20
SPEAKER_02: We're not talking about that.
40:21
SPEAKER_02: But we are gay.
40:22
SPEAKER_02: He's not gay?
40:23
SPEAKER_02: No.
40:24
SPEAKER_02: But they do they do smooch.
40:27
SPEAKER_02: They do.
40:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
40:29
SPEAKER_01: The huffs.
40:30
SPEAKER_01: The huffs.
40:31
SPEAKER_01: Jesus Christ.
40:32
SPEAKER_01: Huffin' and puffin'.
40:33
SPEAKER_02: Wait.
40:34
SPEAKER_02: He's not gay?
40:35
SPEAKER_02: A good drag king name is Jim Bean.
40:39
SPEAKER_02: Is it now?
40:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I had the beanie on.
40:41
SPEAKER_02: I was like, bean.
40:43
SPEAKER_01: Like bean?
40:44
SPEAKER_01: Like flicking your bean?
40:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
40:45
SPEAKER_01: I guess that's funny for a drag king.
40:47
SPEAKER_01: Jim Bean.
40:48
SPEAKER_01: Jim Bean.
40:49
SPEAKER_01: I do like beans though.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: I love beans.
40:50
SPEAKER_01: I have a signature 40 bean salad.
40:53
SPEAKER_02: I'm bringing to your wedding.
40:54
SPEAKER_01: 400 bean salad.
40:55
SPEAKER_01: I'm bringing it to your wedding.
40:56
SPEAKER_01: Please.
40:56
SPEAKER_01: Please.
40:57
SPEAKER_01: It's potluck.
40:58
SPEAKER_01: You can bring whatever you want.
40:59
SPEAKER_01: We'll put it on the table.
41:02
SPEAKER_01: Hogogs?
41:02
SPEAKER_01: No, animals.
41:04
SPEAKER_02: Bad dogs that bite your family.
41:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
41:08
SPEAKER_02: I bought a I brought a couple Roddies to your wedding.
41:11
SPEAKER_02: Saui.
41:12
SPEAKER_02: Raul.
41:13
SPEAKER_02: Raul.
41:14
SPEAKER_02: I brought Raul.
41:16
SPEAKER_02: I'm late.
41:16
SPEAKER_02: You're like at the altar.
41:19
SPEAKER_02: But I was just on a Jim Beam commercial.
41:22
SPEAKER_02: Shoot.
41:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:24
SPEAKER_02: Shoot.
41:24
SPEAKER_02: And I the whole time I thought it was Jimmy Dean.
41:27
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, this is a big commercial for sausage.
41:31
SPEAKER_02: But it was Jim Beam.
41:32
SPEAKER_02: And I got a bottle of bourbon.
41:34
SPEAKER_02: A free bottle at the end of the night, which was really, really nice.
41:36
SPEAKER_02: But I was like, uh kind of one of the brush sausage.
41:39
SPEAKER_01: I know.
41:39
SPEAKER_01: Well, T, uh, that would that would have been great to take home a case of frozen sausage.
41:44
SPEAKER_02: I was so excited to be on a sausage commercial.
41:47
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
41:48
SPEAKER_02: And I'm not even, there's no in the mendo there.
41:50
SPEAKER_02: I'm just like, ah.
41:51
SPEAKER_01: That would be cool.
41:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
41:53
SPEAKER_01: Um, but you you got a a bottle of Jim Beam at the end of the shoot, and then you drank some, and then you immediately texted me, you're my best friend.
42:00
SPEAKER_01: I know.
42:01
SPEAKER_01: But then I quickly said, drinks whiskey once.
42:04
SPEAKER_01: Right.
42:04
SPEAKER_01: Of course you can never be sincere.
42:06
SPEAKER_02: Right.
42:07
SPEAKER_02: We're millennials.
42:08
SPEAKER_02: What?
42:09
SPEAKER_02: We're millennials.
42:10
SPEAKER_02: Oh.
42:10
SPEAKER_02: Remember we said like the difference millennials versus gen.
42:14
SPEAKER_02: Z?
42:15
SPEAKER_02: A B C D E.
42:16
SPEAKER_01: Z.
42:17
SPEAKER_01: Z.
42:18
SPEAKER_01: Gen G.
42:19
SPEAKER_02: I'm from France.
42:20
SPEAKER_01: I am Gen G.
42:22
SPEAKER_01: If you were from France, your nipples would be way bigger.
42:24
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
42:24
SPEAKER_01: It'd be look exactly the same, but you I think I would think French nipples are small.
42:27
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
42:28
SPEAKER_01: I just feel like you as a French person would have bigger nips.
42:30
SPEAKER_02: Cool.
42:30
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
42:30
SPEAKER_01: I think it's really cool what you do for a job.
42:34
SPEAKER_01: I feel like we never really talk about like what we actually do in the real world.
42:38
SPEAKER_01: Maybe.
42:39
SPEAKER_01: The reason why I was gonna say that is because I was I was gonna brag about something that I have going on.
42:42
SPEAKER_01: But um Oh, I see what you did there.
42:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
42:45
SPEAKER_02: And do it.
42:46
SPEAKER_02: Continue.
42:46
SPEAKER_01: The trailer for Joker 2 is coming out uh this week.
42:49
SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited to see what that looks like.
42:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
42:53
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
42:54
SPEAKER_02: Um I forgot about it.
42:56
SPEAKER_01: I only worked on a small part of that movie, but I was the fuck's going on with Lion King too.
43:01
SPEAKER_01: It's coming out eventually, but it's yeah.
43:03
SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna have I'm really gonna have like a huge Simba goes to New York.
43:07
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
43:07
SPEAKER_01: Simba Lost in the City.
43:09
SPEAKER_01: Um I'm gonna have like a huge career year this year into next year, I think.
43:14
SPEAKER_01: Like what do you mean?
43:14
SPEAKER_02: Like because I get to post about it.
43:16
SPEAKER_01: The three projects that I've had the the biggest credits on will come out like successively.
43:20
SPEAKER_02: So it's just kind of like Oh, I hope everything happens.
43:23
SPEAKER_02: I hope you should have an amazing career year because those are cool, big, awesome roles and jobs that you that you worked on.
43:28
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, it's just sometimes when no one cares as much as the you know, the talent gets all the credit.
43:33
SPEAKER_02: It's always who's on cam.
43:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:35
SPEAKER_02: As it I guess should be.
43:36
SPEAKER_02: It's just how it how it goes.
43:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
43:38
SPEAKER_01: But we'll see.
43:39
SPEAKER_01: But for everybody.
43:41
SPEAKER_01: That Jimmy Dean commercial, god damn.
43:43
SPEAKER_01: Good job, man.
43:44
SPEAKER_01: Good job, I know.
43:44
SPEAKER_01: Good job, man.
43:45
SPEAKER_02: Well done, man.
43:47
SPEAKER_02: Well done, man.
43:48
SPEAKER_02: I used to have a boss that was like had a fake British accent, kind of like Madonna.
43:52
SPEAKER_01: We're gonna be 35.
43:54
SPEAKER_01: We can't say that on this podcast, it's illegal.
43:56
SPEAKER_01: Why?
43:56
SPEAKER_01: Because everyone thinks we're 22.
43:58
SPEAKER_01: How old are white?
43:59
unknown: Three.
44:00
SPEAKER_01: 62?
44:01
SPEAKER_01: 63?
44:02
SPEAKER_02: Jerry Patrick?
44:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:06
SPEAKER_01: But it's like, yeah, how low can you go?
44:07
SPEAKER_01: Like that's like if you were being casted.
44:09
SPEAKER_01: Tell me.
44:09
SPEAKER_01: Like uh 28?
44:14
SPEAKER_01: Really?
44:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
44:15
SPEAKER_02: Not even 25?
44:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't think so, honey.
44:17
SPEAKER_02: What if I twink out?
44:18
SPEAKER_02: What if I tweak out?
44:20
SPEAKER_02: If you tweak and twink and get Botox?
44:22
SPEAKER_02: Should I become a twink again?
44:23
SPEAKER_02: I'm like teetering on like becoming the entire city is like, I know, I really missed my twinkera.
44:28
SPEAKER_02: I was straight when I was such a fucking little anno twink.
44:31
SPEAKER_01: Isn't that funny?
44:33
SPEAKER_02: Literally, bitch face.
44:36
SPEAKER_02: My fucking license, you should say it.
44:38
SPEAKER_02: My cheekbones could literally kill your mom.
44:42
SPEAKER_02: And they did.
44:44
SPEAKER_02: I'm so sorry.
44:46
SPEAKER_02: What I did to my mom.
44:48
SPEAKER_02: I got my cheekbones from my mom.
44:49
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
44:50
SPEAKER_02: Did I have cheekbones?
44:52
SPEAKER_02: No.
44:52
SPEAKER_02: No.
44:53
SPEAKER_02: Not really, right?
44:53
SPEAKER_02: No.
44:55
SPEAKER_02: I used to have a better cheekbone.
44:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you didn't.
44:57
SPEAKER_02: It turns out you go because I cause like all the fat on my face is now in my neck.
45:02
SPEAKER_02: Everything drops when you get older.
45:03
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
45:04
SPEAKER_02: Whatever.
45:05
SPEAKER_01: The droopage is real.
45:06
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
45:08
SPEAKER_02: The droopage is real.
45:09
SPEAKER_01: Everywhere.
45:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:11
SPEAKER_01: That was a nut nut tech comment.
45:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:15
SPEAKER_02: I got low hangers.
45:17
SPEAKER_02: She do.
45:18
SPEAKER_02: She do.
45:18
SPEAKER_02: You're very ball forward.
45:20
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
45:20
SPEAKER_02: I got big balls, so it unfortunately makes my like dick kind of poke out.
45:25
SPEAKER_02: So it's like annoying.
45:27
SPEAKER_02: Because I have like a pokey dick.
45:29
SPEAKER_01: But your bulge is about the size of these topiaries.
45:32
SPEAKER_02: So I mean.
45:33
SPEAKER_02: But like, you know what I mean?
45:34
SPEAKER_02: It's always like out.
45:36
SPEAKER_02: Like peepees out because it's like resting on big nuts.
45:39
SPEAKER_01: In in Mexico, I kept telling you guys that I was like, I feel like my dick looks like this.
45:43
SPEAKER_01: And I don't feel like anybody was like reacting the way I expected them to, which was like, yeah, we totally understand.
45:48
SPEAKER_01: And ours, like they're doing the exact same thing.
45:50
SPEAKER_02: They well, yeah.
45:51
SPEAKER_01: Well.
45:52
SPEAKER_02: I think we were.
45:52
SPEAKER_02: We were like, yeah.
45:53
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
45:53
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
45:54
SPEAKER_01: I wanted more validation.
45:56
SPEAKER_01: I wanted you in a speedo.
45:57
SPEAKER_01: I put it on.
45:58
SPEAKER_01: My thing with my speedo is that there's a seam that goes up the back that literally gives me a wedgie.
46:03
SPEAKER_02: That's so fun.
46:03
SPEAKER_02: We needed to be gay.
46:05
SPEAKER_01: I just felt and also I don't know.
46:06
SPEAKER_02: I was bringing the gay.
46:07
SPEAKER_02: You were.
46:08
SPEAKER_02: My ass was starving.
46:09
SPEAKER_02: It was gobbling up the my baby in the suit.
46:11
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
46:12
SPEAKER_01: I I I just feel I I didn't, I put it on, I looked in the mirror and I was like, I don't know.
46:16
SPEAKER_01: I know what you mean.
46:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
46:16
SPEAKER_01: I just it felt like I don't know.
46:18
SPEAKER_02: I hit day three and I was like, I wore two designer like speedos that were nice, and day three was like a fun Amazon one, and it just the support wasn't there.
46:25
SPEAKER_02: I was like, I I need to stop.
46:26
SPEAKER_02: I need to fucking stop.
46:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
46:28
SPEAKER_02: Also, I put on fucking board shorts to my calves.
46:33
SPEAKER_02: Put white sunblock on my nose.
46:34
SPEAKER_02: Zinc.
46:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
46:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, zinc on my nose and like a camper hat.
46:38
SPEAKER_01: Once I'm in college, I think I I dressed up as like a lifeguard for like a random like second or third Halloween party or something, and I painted my nose white.
46:46
SPEAKER_01: And I was and I was like, but it was shocking.
46:50
SPEAKER_02: The the like sorry that I'm laughing at myself being like, that was Ernest.
46:55
SPEAKER_02: Like I heard myself be like, that's so you.
46:57
SPEAKER_01: But I was like, I should have just said I should have like done a you know like a highlighted strip down.
47:03
SPEAKER_01: But I I painted the whole thing and I was like, oh my god.
47:06
SPEAKER_01: It was like when sometimes when you like you have a classic triangle nose so far.
47:10
SPEAKER_01: But it's like the pyramid was seen like in in complete, like full detail.
47:15
SPEAKER_01: I was like, Jesus Christ.
47:19
SPEAKER_01: You got a good nose.
47:20
SPEAKER_01: It's a triangle.
47:20
SPEAKER_01: Thanks.
47:21
SPEAKER_01: I love my I love my nose.
47:22
SPEAKER_01: I just wish it was pushed.
47:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, one time I was on mushrooms and I told Mike.
47:25
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
47:26
SPEAKER_01: Have we not talked about this?
47:26
SPEAKER_01: No.
47:27
SPEAKER_01: I think we might have said it once.
47:28
SPEAKER_02: No, no, no, not on camera.
47:29
SPEAKER_02: Not at all.
47:31
SPEAKER_01: But one time I told you that we're in these hats.
47:34
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
47:35
SPEAKER_02: Felicia.
47:36
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, sorry.
47:37
SPEAKER_02: Um Felicia, please.
47:39
SPEAKER_02: No, it's not a Felicia Keys joke.
47:41
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
47:41
SPEAKER_02: I always like Felicia Farewell.
47:44
SPEAKER_02: As a drag name?
47:45
SPEAKER_02: It's like a spin-on by Felicia.
47:47
SPEAKER_02: Oh, Felicia Farewell.
47:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but it needs to say farewell because that's really that's oh I'm Ann's Ballison, by the way.
47:53
SPEAKER_01: Oh and I'm Mike Fails.
47:56
SPEAKER_01: I love the like I know you're so good at it.
48:00
SPEAKER_01: That's so funny to me.
48:01
SPEAKER_02: Okay, good.
48:02
SPEAKER_02: I think it's so funny, like when I'm like broke out.
48:04
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
48:05
SPEAKER_02: It makes me laugh every time.
48:06
SPEAKER_02: No, it's really you're really good at it.
48:08
SPEAKER_02: Stupid.
48:09
SPEAKER_02: And what podcast is this?
48:10
SPEAKER_02: The big cunty couch.
48:12
SPEAKER_02: The big sweaty yeti.
48:14
SPEAKER_02: I was like, should we have no shoes on?
48:16
SPEAKER_02: Like, should it be sockies?
48:18
SPEAKER_02: Maybe that's the vibe.
48:19
SPEAKER_01: Well, remember we said we were gonna wear Snuggies on the beauty episode.
48:22
SPEAKER_01: Snoggy koji shuji.
48:25
SPEAKER_01: Comment below.
48:26
SPEAKER_01: Do we snog?
48:29
SPEAKER_01: Do you want us to uh take our shoes off on the pod?
48:32
SPEAKER_01: Maybe?
48:32
SPEAKER_01: Anyway, you were about to talk about a funny story about my nose.
48:36
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah, I was on strooms once and I was like, Mike was like, I would love to get a nose job.
48:40
SPEAKER_02: Well, no, I just want to get it.
48:41
SPEAKER_02: Well, no, that's not public info.
48:43
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I don't want to get a nose job.
48:44
SPEAKER_01: I want it, I want to get my sinuses fixed so I can not smell an idea.
48:47
SPEAKER_01: Shut your track.
48:49
SPEAKER_01: While I'm in there, while they're in there.
48:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
48:50
SPEAKER_01: I want them to click it over so it's symmetrical.
48:53
SPEAKER_02: It's actually insane if you do have a deviated septum or it's like breathing and you don't like pick the little tune-up.
49:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
49:01
SPEAKER_01: If you're not getting a tune-up while you're getting nasal surgery, you're a loser.
49:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, a loser idiot.
49:08
SPEAKER_01: Faggot?
49:09
SPEAKER_02: Shh, no, you're not a faggot.
49:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
49:11
SPEAKER_01: I just wanted I just wanted to say that.
49:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
49:13
SPEAKER_02: Um you're like, I just want to clock kick it that way.
49:15
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, it doesn't look crooked.
49:17
SPEAKER_02: No one thinks of you as having a crooked nose.
49:18
SPEAKER_02: It just always looks like the shadow in the room.
49:20
SPEAKER_02: And you were like, The shadow in the room.
49:24
SPEAKER_01: Because like the the cadence at which you like delivered that line.
49:26
SPEAKER_01: It was just, it was like da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da.
49:29
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, Your jaw dropped.
49:31
SPEAKER_02: I was on Shrooms, which sometimes makes you funny.
49:33
SPEAKER_02: I was like, the shadow.
49:35
SPEAKER_02: I was like, it just always looks like the shadow in the room.
49:38
SPEAKER_02: Shadow.
49:38
SPEAKER_02: Like permanently.
49:40
SPEAKER_02: It's like the shadow in the room.
49:42
SPEAKER_02: The room is your nose.
49:44
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
49:44
SPEAKER_02: They really cast uh uh you can tell time used based on the shadow on the center of my fucking face.
49:53
SPEAKER_01: A sundial.
49:54
SPEAKER_01: That is like that.
49:55
SPEAKER_01: Not only is crooked.
49:58
SPEAKER_02: I was the scarecrow when I'm Dorothy.
50:00
SPEAKER_02: Oh, I should.
50:01
SPEAKER_02: That's a great I we should do it for Halloween.
50:02
SPEAKER_02: No, on the couch.
50:03
SPEAKER_02: I have a Darthy.
50:05
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, for Halloween.
50:05
SPEAKER_01: But I was the Scarecrow in my uh middle my middle school's all-white version of the whiz.
50:11
SPEAKER_01: Wow.
50:11
SPEAKER_01: Yikes.
50:12
SPEAKER_01: Not all white.
50:13
SPEAKER_01: It just stink.
50:14
SPEAKER_02: Of course that happened.
50:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
50:15
SPEAKER_02: Um of course no one like realized what was happening.
50:20
SPEAKER_01: It felt weird at the time.
50:21
SPEAKER_01: I remember being I remember being like, that's good.
50:25
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
50:25
SPEAKER_01: I remember being uh struck with the sensation of being absolutely obliterated so casually by your comment of the shadow in the room.
50:36
SPEAKER_01: So funny.
50:36
SPEAKER_02: But this is like a little bit specific, but then I was like, you look like bag of chips out of drag, who has like a huge, just a really pumped face, pumped lips, very specific look.
50:46
SPEAKER_02: This is too specific as a follow-up, but it worked.
50:49
SPEAKER_02: It still worked.
50:50
SPEAKER_02: I it was like, what is going on?
50:55
SPEAKER_02: But yeah, that thing do tell time, honey.
50:58
SPEAKER_02: It sure do.
50:59
SPEAKER_02: It sure do.
51:00
SPEAKER_02: They change the clocks because you're done this, yeah.
51:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
51:04
SPEAKER_02: Daylight's anything's deceased.
51:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they do it because of farming.
51:10
SPEAKER_02: They, you know, that thing affects my crops.
51:15
SPEAKER_02: Shut the fuck up.
51:17
SPEAKER_01: Stupid ass.
51:18
SPEAKER_02: Stupid ass! I have crops.
51:20
SPEAKER_01: You too have crops.
51:21
SPEAKER_01: They're growing.
51:22
SPEAKER_01: I can see every inch of the that farmyard back there.
51:26
SPEAKER_02: I just was thinking of the bitch lady at the gym.
51:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
51:32
SPEAKER_02: It was so mean that it was actually like, why why are you being a bitch about it?
51:35
SPEAKER_02: It was so like actually, yeah, I'm gonna say the B word.
51:39
SPEAKER_02: Problematic, I know.
51:40
SPEAKER_02: But anyways, remember I said when Peter Smith was on, I was like, I used to pretend that cutie clementines were little mini pumpkins.
51:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
51:49
SPEAKER_02: And that's what was like kind of gay.
51:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
51:51
SPEAKER_02: Does anyone at the gym pretend the 2.5 weights are cookies?
51:57
SPEAKER_02: Because that's like the disc?
51:59
SPEAKER_02: Like the little the lowest weight uh they make.
52:02
SPEAKER_02: So you think you've got two cookies on a on a bar when you No, I I don't put just those on there.
52:08
SPEAKER_02: Although it looks it.
52:10
SPEAKER_02: No, you're like, it looks like you're putting real cookies in your arms.
52:14
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
52:16
SPEAKER_02: I pretend they're cookies because it's so little and fun.
52:19
SPEAKER_02: That's another like gay thing.
52:20
SPEAKER_02: If you pretend I don't think that's gay, I think it's insane.
52:23
SPEAKER_02: No, if you're pretending weights at the gym are cookies, you're gay.
52:30
SPEAKER_01: I don't know if anyone on earth has ever said that.
52:32
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's what I'm asking.
52:33
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes I please hit me up and let me know if I'm alone or not.
52:39
SPEAKER_02: If I'm alone in this life, it's seeming like I am.
52:43
SPEAKER_01: Well, in the past, again, when we were working in the in the narrative space, um, sometimes we would be wr writing stuff and saying stuff that I truly feel like was a combination of words that had never been spoken on earth before.
52:57
SPEAKER_01: Like, like try my own sailboat, like that, like from Lady USA.
53:01
SPEAKER_01: Like, no one has ever said the words that that wasn't me though.
53:04
SPEAKER_01: No, I know, but but I'm just saying that it's like the idea of thinking that the low weights are cookies.
53:12
SPEAKER_01: No, maybe no one has ever ever thought that before.
53:14
SPEAKER_01: There's gotta be one other crazy I can't be alone.
53:19
SPEAKER_02: But there's nothing wrong with that.
53:20
SPEAKER_02: That's it's so that is it's gotta be someone that thinks sometimes are pumpkin.
53:24
SPEAKER_01: But there's so there's something so beautiful about and singular about it being never thought or expressed before until this very moment that that the weights are cookies.
53:37
SPEAKER_01: He's like compliment to me and being sincere, and I'm literally like gunned, like trying to get my trying to get the fedor to gun.
53:42
SPEAKER_02: And I'm popping off his head.
53:43
SPEAKER_02: It's not coming off.
53:44
SPEAKER_02: It's like it's glued down.
53:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, wow.
53:46
SPEAKER_02: I can't I took the thing off because like it's trapping heat.
53:51
SPEAKER_01: Apparently, everything is on that dome of yours.
53:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
53:55
SPEAKER_02: It's just your head.
53:57
SPEAKER_02: Do you have a little soul patch?
53:59
SPEAKER_02: A little.
54:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
54:00
SPEAKER_02: I have a little pervy.
54:01
SPEAKER_01: It's cute.
54:02
SPEAKER_01: Is it?
54:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I like it.
54:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm cute as a boy sometimes.
54:06
SPEAKER_01: Cute as a button sometimes, actually.
54:10
SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
54:12
SPEAKER_01: Of course, I'm like, I love that kind of laugh.
54:18
SPEAKER_01: Isn't it so fun to have a giant couch that we co-own?
54:22
SPEAKER_01: List it and co-parent.
54:23
SPEAKER_02: List it.
54:24
SPEAKER_02: I'd say we list it now and see if we got any.
54:26
SPEAKER_02: You know, if you mean what do you mean list it?
54:28
SPEAKER_02: Sell it.
54:28
SPEAKER_02: I'm over it.
54:29
SPEAKER_02: Get out of your mind.
54:30
SPEAKER_02: I quit.
54:31
SPEAKER_01: I need to get my jaw pulled out of my skull, as you know, soon.
54:34
SPEAKER_01: We both need the same surgery.
54:36
SPEAKER_01: That is like, which is so fucking annoying because you're gonna get it done, and then like I'm gonna have to get it done.
54:41
SPEAKER_01: You're gonna think I'm copying you.
54:42
SPEAKER_01: And it's like we are.
54:45
SPEAKER_01: I needed it, I needed it before you, and I took a different route.
54:48
SPEAKER_01: But I I've been feeling recently like you need jaw surgery.
54:53
SPEAKER_01: I my jaw has not Go to my doctor.
54:55
SPEAKER_02: Well, I wanna go to do not Dubai.
54:58
SPEAKER_02: I wanna go to Dubai.
55:00
SPEAKER_02: Uh not Iran.
55:01
SPEAKER_02: What the fuck?
55:02
SPEAKER_02: Turkey.
55:02
SPEAKER_02: Turkey.
55:03
SPEAKER_02: We need hair transplants.
55:04
SPEAKER_02: I think I'm I think I'm okay.
55:06
SPEAKER_02: He doesn't want he wants the real hair transplant, the local one.
55:09
SPEAKER_01: Well, if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna pay.
55:12
SPEAKER_02: If I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna spend money.
55:14
SPEAKER_02: I love spending.
55:15
SPEAKER_01: I know we do both love to spend money.
55:16
SPEAKER_01: I love spending money.
55:17
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, I can be your fin dom.
55:21
SPEAKER_02: But I don't like you.
55:23
SPEAKER_02: Yet.
55:24
SPEAKER_02: Wait till I burn all your money.
55:27
SPEAKER_02: I'm actually not into well you in this hat, considering fin dom.
55:34
SPEAKER_01: I'm not super I'm not super into fin finishing being fin-dommed or fin-domming people.
55:42
SPEAKER_01: Um I get it, I get it.
55:44
SPEAKER_01: I respect it.
55:46
SPEAKER_02: That's not true.
55:47
SPEAKER_02: What's that wrong?
55:47
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah.
55:48
SPEAKER_02: Jesus.
55:49
SPEAKER_02: When she like questioned COVID.
55:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
55:52
SPEAKER_02: And then really ate her whole fucking leg.
55:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
55:55
SPEAKER_02: You should eat your leg.
55:56
SPEAKER_02: I should.
55:57
SPEAKER_01: You look you look like you have eaten my leg.
56:01
SPEAKER_01: Your third leg.
56:02
SPEAKER_01: Um should we take a break and then come back and and finally talk about these paddles?
56:07
SPEAKER_01: These paddles.
56:08
SPEAKER_01: I think it's so I think we should not talk about the paddles.
56:11
SPEAKER_01: Not just leave them on the on the table.
56:13
SPEAKER_02: Next episode.
56:14
SPEAKER_01: No, we should do, we should use them.
56:15
SPEAKER_01: I think it'd be fun.
56:16
SPEAKER_01: Also, it'd be healthy for us to like let them be imperfect.
56:20
SPEAKER_02: This is healthy.
56:24
SPEAKER_02: All right, bye.
56:25
SPEAKER_02: Uh bye.
56:32
SPEAKER_02: Pirates off the coast of Somalia.
56:35
SPEAKER_02: Pirates off the coast of Madonna.
56:37
SPEAKER_02: Jets, jets, jets.
56:38
SPEAKER_02: That was iconic.
56:39
SPEAKER_02: I have been asking her for years to like re just send me the private link because she took it down.
56:44
SPEAKER_01: Oh, her reel?
56:45
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
56:46
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
56:46
SPEAKER_02: It was good.
56:47
SPEAKER_02: It was just like Pirates off the coast of Madonna.
56:51
SPEAKER_02: We're we're mashing up my sister's um news anchor reel.
56:53
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
56:54
SPEAKER_02: She went to Fordham broadcast journalist major.
56:58
SPEAKER_02: Broadcast Jurgis.
56:59
SPEAKER_02: She was the anchor on the Fordham Nightly News, but unfortunately graduated in 2008 when the economy crashed.
57:07
SPEAKER_02: That's crazy.
57:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
57:09
SPEAKER_01: Both our sisters graduated like when we were going to college.
57:12
SPEAKER_02: There were no jobs.
57:13
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
57:14
SPEAKER_02: But she also wasn't willing to like move to like Texas to be an anchor for a second and work her way back.
57:19
SPEAKER_01: So should we play a quick round of label?
57:23
SPEAKER_01: You with the paddle until you bleed?
57:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, please.
57:26
SPEAKER_01: I've been dying to be punched and kicked by you.
57:29
SPEAKER_01: I'll beat you up.
57:30
SPEAKER_01: I know.
57:30
SPEAKER_01: I'm not.
57:31
SPEAKER_01: If we ever physically fought, things would not go well for I couldn't hurt you.
57:37
SPEAKER_02: That's like sad and sincere.
57:39
SPEAKER_02: Aww.
57:40
SPEAKER_02: Could never.
57:41
SPEAKER_02: Thanks.
57:41
SPEAKER_02: But don't fuck with me, Dawn.
57:47
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god, there's a teeny L for lesbian on here.
57:50
SPEAKER_01: So raise your L.
57:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
57:52
SPEAKER_02: Look at that teeny L.
57:53
SPEAKER_02: We decided that the game Alphabet Supia makes no sense, which again was a joke.
57:58
SPEAKER_02: Wasn't supposed to be called that.
58:00
SPEAKER_02: I wanted to call it label whores, but we we do who are you wearing, what is your problem?
58:05
SPEAKER_02: And we say, like, we don't care about labels, so there's a lot of labels, labels, labels.
58:09
SPEAKER_02: So that's why I was like, no.
58:10
SPEAKER_02: And then Sam Tiger was like, it's alphabet soupia, or like whatever.
58:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
58:14
SPEAKER_02: So bad it's good.
58:16
SPEAKER_02: But it's actually so bad it's bad.
58:18
SPEAKER_01: I think we just also spend too much time trying to explain it to people that I think label whores gets you there quicker.
58:23
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
58:24
SPEAKER_01: Um, and also now that we've invented props to go with it, I think people will absolutely love every second of it.
58:30
SPEAKER_02: They're gonna know the game now.
58:33
SPEAKER_02: Sometimes all it takes is a paddle to your fucking face.
58:36
SPEAKER_02: To your ass.
58:37
SPEAKER_02: Honestly.
58:37
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever been hit with a paddle?
58:40
SPEAKER_02: On my butt?
58:40
SPEAKER_02: An oar?
58:42
SPEAKER_01: To my head?
58:43
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever, yeah, has your mom ever hit broken an oar over your skull?
58:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
58:48
SPEAKER_02: You guys used to canoe.
58:50
SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
58:50
SPEAKER_01: And that we used to.
58:52
SPEAKER_01: And then we broke the oar.
58:55
SPEAKER_01: On my head.
58:57
SPEAKER_01: Okay, so.
58:58
SPEAKER_01: Label whores.
58:59
SPEAKER_01: Paddles.
58:59
SPEAKER_01: Label whores.
59:00
SPEAKER_01: We're changing Supia, alphabet Supia to label.
59:03
SPEAKER_01: L for label whore, lesbian.
59:05
SPEAKER_01: What what's the topic we should uh debate?
59:11
SPEAKER_02: Why did we fucking eat cash bar at a wedding?
59:15
SPEAKER_01: Should we should we do like movie monsters?
59:17
SPEAKER_01: Like Dracula Frankenstein, the mummy.
59:20
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
59:21
SPEAKER_02: Kind of fun.
59:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah?
59:22
SPEAKER_02: Very monster mash of you.
59:24
SPEAKER_01: Well, I have a little sci-fi, if you ask me.
59:27
SPEAKER_02: I love a Halloween party in like a garage with like no alcohol.
59:30
SPEAKER_01: We had a haunted garage.
59:31
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
59:32
SPEAKER_01: Everyone did.
59:33
SPEAKER_01: My dad brought his industrial theatrical uh dry ice fog.
59:37
SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
59:37
SPEAKER_02: Our dads would get along and fuck.
59:40
SPEAKER_02: No.
59:42
SPEAKER_02: They're both like creative.
59:43
SPEAKER_01: Our dads would get along for sure.
59:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, they would.
59:46
SPEAKER_02: Also, it's like cancer, cancer.
59:48
SPEAKER_02: My dad's a cancer.
59:49
SPEAKER_02: I'm a cancer.
59:50
SPEAKER_02: Your dad's a Virgo.
59:51
SPEAKER_02: My dad's a Virgo.
59:52
SPEAKER_02: Oh God.
59:53
SPEAKER_02: That's why it's Jesus Christ! Yeah, yeah.
59:56
SPEAKER_02: Mike's a cancer.
59:57
SPEAKER_01: I'm a Virgo.
59:58
SPEAKER_01: Angela's a Virgo.
59:59
SPEAKER_01: My dad's a cancer.
1:00:00
SPEAKER_01: Gina's a cancer on society.
1:00:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:00:03
SPEAKER_02: What is Gina?
1:00:04
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
1:00:04
SPEAKER_02: Capricorn?
1:00:06
SPEAKER_02: Fury.
1:00:08
SPEAKER_02: He's a fury sign.
1:00:09
SPEAKER_02: Movie monsters.
1:00:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:00:13
SPEAKER_02: Start it off.
1:00:15
SPEAKER_01: The mummy.
1:00:17
SPEAKER_01: Returns?
1:00:18
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:00:18
SPEAKER_01: The mummy, the character.
1:00:20
SPEAKER_01: A mummy.
1:00:22
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_02: This is when I need a stand.
1:00:25
SPEAKER_01: Right, same.
1:00:26
SPEAKER_01: Because we both have to put our mics down to grab the markers.
1:00:29
SPEAKER_02: We could have stands in general.
1:00:30
SPEAKER_01: But make this look like a fucking radio station.
1:00:33
SPEAKER_01: I like holding it though.
1:00:34
SPEAKER_01: It feels active.
1:00:35
SPEAKER_01: I I don't I hate when someone is like leaning back on a podcast and like they're totally like fupa out and they're like, this is content.
1:00:43
SPEAKER_02: That's me.
1:00:44
SPEAKER_01: No, it's not you.
1:00:45
SPEAKER_01: It's literally everyone else.
1:00:46
SPEAKER_01: And it looks bad.
1:00:48
SPEAKER_01: Sorry to put literally everyone on blast who has a podcast.
1:00:51
SPEAKER_01: I love like a local theater that's like hanging from the ceiling.
1:00:54
SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
1:00:55
SPEAKER_01: That's local.
1:00:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:00:57
SPEAKER_01: That's local.
1:00:58
SPEAKER_02: It's like a la Mancha.
1:00:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, truly.
1:01:00
SPEAKER_01: Ay, ay, aye.
1:01:01
SPEAKER_01: You know I was doing sound from high school on?
1:01:04
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're very um behind the scenes.
1:01:08
SPEAKER_01: I was doing sound and I was the lead of the uh plays and the musicals for multiple years.
1:01:13
SPEAKER_02: Imagine if you were making this up in your head, like you thought that was true.
1:01:17
SPEAKER_02: Did you ever get on stage?
1:01:19
SPEAKER_02: I didn't, I didn't have the opportunity because I somehow was like doing sports.
1:01:22
SPEAKER_02: And I also I always was open to theater, even when like I was straight in high school and shoehorned into like weird sports like swim team and running and things that are like not cool.
1:01:32
SPEAKER_02: I, you know, my whole fucking personality is like being annoyed at my parents for not being like, ooh, you should be a dancer.
1:01:39
SPEAKER_02: Sure, gymnast.
1:01:40
SPEAKER_02: I know that's already on here.
1:01:42
SPEAKER_02: So whatever.
1:01:43
SPEAKER_02: I did sports in high school.
1:01:45
SPEAKER_02: I was open to theater, and honestly, I just didn't like the shows they were doing.
1:01:49
SPEAKER_02: If they were better, I would have like gone for it.
1:01:52
SPEAKER_01: I think I was just like picky and like being like you would have loved my uh my theater director Clinton.
1:02:00
SPEAKER_02: He used to You would have loved my video uh teacher.
1:02:04
SPEAKER_02: Miss Saros.
1:02:05
SPEAKER_02: She Alisa Saros.
1:02:07
SPEAKER_02: I love you.
1:02:08
SPEAKER_02: I hope you listen to this someday.
1:02:09
SPEAKER_01: Ed Clinton, if this is getting posted on Facebook, you will see this.
1:02:12
SPEAKER_02: Ed Clinton, you're cunt.
1:02:15
SPEAKER_01: Ed Clinton is cunt.
1:02:16
SPEAKER_01: He would Alisa Saros when you when you used to make a mistake on stage, he would from the audience, he would go bang.
1:02:23
SPEAKER_02: He'd shoot you in the head.
1:02:24
SPEAKER_02: He'd shoot you in the head.
1:02:25
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
1:02:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he was the first person who taught me about ahead of his time.
1:02:28
SPEAKER_01: He was the first person who taught me about uh I'll say excellence.
1:02:31
SPEAKER_01: It was like the idea of like doing it right the right way.
1:02:35
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
1:02:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, truly.
1:02:37
SPEAKER_02: He really fucked you up.
1:02:38
SPEAKER_01: Truly, truly.
1:02:39
SPEAKER_01: But I remember I remember asking him in high school.
1:02:42
SPEAKER_01: I was like, Do you think I'm gay?
1:02:44
SPEAKER_01: And he was like, I don't know.
1:02:46
SPEAKER_02: You never told me this.
1:02:47
SPEAKER_02: Well, I it kind of was a We came out late too.
1:02:49
SPEAKER_02: A little bit.
1:02:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
1:02:50
SPEAKER_01: I came out very late.
1:02:51
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, but you came out kind of late.
1:02:52
SPEAKER_01: But he was like, I can't tell.
1:02:53
SPEAKER_01: And in in the in the way that was like, you could be either.
1:02:56
SPEAKER_02: In a way that was like very I'm surprised you did that because that's very secure to be like, Do you think I'm gay?
1:03:04
SPEAKER_02: Well, he was like one of the You know what I mean?
1:03:05
SPEAKER_02: Like if you're a little gay and you don't talk about that.
1:03:08
SPEAKER_01: No, yeah, yeah.
1:03:08
SPEAKER_01: You don't bring it up.
1:03:09
SPEAKER_01: Well, he was very like he was one of the only gay people that I knew.
1:03:14
unknown: Wow.
1:03:14
SPEAKER_01: It was him, my choir teacher, and like the two out gay guys that were huge, huge flamers.
1:03:20
SPEAKER_01: Like in no one was gay at La Salle, but there were a lot of twirlers.
1:03:25
SPEAKER_01: But I remember being like, yeah, I remember like asking, because he was in everybody's business.
1:03:30
SPEAKER_01: He knew everything, he knew all the gossip.
1:03:33
SPEAKER_01: He was like, I remember I remember it feeling like both validating and sort of like terrifying that he was like, I couldn't tell ya.
1:03:40
SPEAKER_02: That's crazy.
1:03:41
SPEAKER_02: How do you?
1:03:42
SPEAKER_02: Well, well, you've always been confident and kind of like secure.
1:03:45
SPEAKER_01: Yes, yeah.
1:03:46
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
1:03:46
SPEAKER_02: Even if it was a facade that you didn't even realize, you know what I mean?
1:03:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:03:51
SPEAKER_02: You wore blazers.
1:03:54
SPEAKER_01: Under hoodies, according to him.
1:03:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:03:57
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:03:57
SPEAKER_02: But that's like cool.
1:03:58
SPEAKER_02: Over.
1:04:00
SPEAKER_02: Under?
1:04:00
SPEAKER_02: Over.
1:04:02
SPEAKER_02: But that's like confident and cool.
1:04:03
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:04:04
SPEAKER_02: Wow, yeah.
1:04:05
SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't even say the word gay.
1:04:07
SPEAKER_01: I know.
1:04:07
SPEAKER_01: It's all so messed up.
1:04:09
SPEAKER_01: This is, I mean, this is what happens when you can't say gay.
1:04:12
SPEAKER_01: This is what happens when you can't say gay in high school.
1:04:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:04:15
SPEAKER_01: We would have been friends in high school, probably.
1:04:17
SPEAKER_02: For sure.
1:04:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:04:18
SPEAKER_02: Okay, paddles.
1:04:20
SPEAKER_01: Paddles.
1:04:21
SPEAKER_01: All right, the mummy LGBTQIA plus.
1:04:24
SPEAKER_01: What is the mummy?
1:04:25
SPEAKER_02: So what do we do in this scenario?
1:04:26
SPEAKER_02: What do we do?
1:04:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you put the mic down, pick up the pick up the marker, and then we'll we'll do Jeopardy music and then we'll come back.
1:04:42
unknown: Mummy.
1:04:43
SPEAKER_02: Alright.
1:04:43
SPEAKER_02: How come there's no eraser here?
1:04:45
SPEAKER_02: Usually I'm used to Be very careful.
1:04:49
SPEAKER_01: Be careful on the marker.
1:04:51
SPEAKER_01: It's closed.
1:04:52
SPEAKER_01: Okay, Jesus.
1:04:53
SPEAKER_01: It's my fruity.
1:04:57
SPEAKER_02: Fruit.
1:04:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fruit.
1:04:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, fruit.
1:05:00
SPEAKER_02: Oh Mike.
1:05:01
unknown: Eater, eat her, eat her.
1:05:04
SPEAKER_01: My makeup is.
1:05:05
SPEAKER_01: Make it dirtier.
1:05:06
SPEAKER_01: You have the dirtiest mic cover in the entire show.
1:05:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because I wear foundation as a girl.
1:05:14
SPEAKER_02: No, I don't fit it.
1:05:15
SPEAKER_02: It's just a little powder, okay?
1:05:16
SPEAKER_02: It's a little powder because I'm broken out, okay?
1:05:20
SPEAKER_02: And I have a little perv stash.
1:05:21
SPEAKER_01: Okay, the mummy.
1:05:22
SPEAKER_01: The mummy.
1:05:24
SPEAKER_01: This is tough.
1:05:25
SPEAKER_01: Because it's like shut up.
1:05:29
SPEAKER_02: Shut up.
1:05:31
SPEAKER_02: Wait, are mummies wrapped up in like gauze?
1:05:35
SPEAKER_02: Bitch?
1:05:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:05:37
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:05:37
SPEAKER_02: The fuck?
1:05:38
SPEAKER_02: Caught to like one of the best celebrity costumes of all time is pregnant, Jessica Simpson.
1:05:43
SPEAKER_02: Because she was a mommy once when she was pregnant and was like genius, and obviously we all like dragged her over Kohl's.
1:05:49
SPEAKER_02: Poor Jesse Simps, yeah.
1:05:51
SPEAKER_02: The the image of her with a double cheetah belt being like in 2008, like it's a meme or something saying like, Gen Z, this This is why we're fucked up because in 2008, this is the ugliest beast.
1:06:04
SPEAKER_02: The fattest person you could ever be.
1:06:06
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:06:06
SPEAKER_02: Craziest, ugliest person you could be.
1:06:08
SPEAKER_02: And she's literally like probably a size eight.
1:06:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:06:10
SPEAKER_02: If that.
1:06:11
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm a size 14 woman.
1:06:14
SPEAKER_02: I'm a 24.
1:06:16
SPEAKER_02: Actually, you're like a two.
1:06:19
SPEAKER_02: You should walk.
1:06:21
SPEAKER_02: You should walk this season into traffic.
1:06:26
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
1:06:29
SPEAKER_02: Cheat sheet vibes.
1:06:30
SPEAKER_02: You're writing it out.
1:06:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, because sometimes I fucking forget.
1:06:33
SPEAKER_02: There's a lot of letters in that.
1:06:34
SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of letters in that soup.
1:06:36
SPEAKER_01: Sorry.
1:06:36
SPEAKER_01: Soup's soups uh cold.
1:06:38
SPEAKER_02: So hard.
1:06:39
SPEAKER_01: I have it.
1:06:40
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, whoop.
1:06:41
SPEAKER_01: Like, imagine if I could just one of my favorite stunts is the heel clack.
1:06:44
SPEAKER_01: I know.
1:06:45
SPEAKER_01: You should learn how to do one stunt, maybe.
1:06:48
SPEAKER_02: It's so hard though, because I'm torso forward.
1:06:51
SPEAKER_02: It's like I'm heavy on the torso.
1:06:53
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
1:06:54
SPEAKER_02: So doing headstands is hard because you don't have the balance of the city.
1:06:57
SPEAKER_02: Who says you need to do a headstand to do the I don't know what I'm talking about.
1:07:01
SPEAKER_02: Anyways, mummies, mummies, mummies.
1:07:04
SPEAKER_02: Mummies, mummies, mummies.
1:07:05
SPEAKER_02: And mummies are dead?
1:07:07
SPEAKER_02: Mummies are dead.
1:07:08
SPEAKER_02: Well, they're undead.
1:07:10
SPEAKER_02: What'd you put?
1:07:13
SPEAKER_01: Trans.
1:07:14
SPEAKER_01: Can you see?
1:07:14
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:07:16
SPEAKER_01: Not you.
1:07:16
SPEAKER_01: I'm talking about the camera.
1:07:17
SPEAKER_01: We see your big T.
1:07:18
SPEAKER_01: I've made it as big as possible.
1:07:20
SPEAKER_01: Well, because the idea of like reanimation, transformation from one state to another, I find to be somewhat trans.
1:07:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:07:33
SPEAKER_02: Huh.
1:07:34
SPEAKER_02: I don't know.
1:07:35
SPEAKER_02: I'll agree with you.
1:07:36
SPEAKER_02: Yeah?
1:07:37
SPEAKER_02: That's a boring, like, thing.
1:07:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:07:40
SPEAKER_01: It's boring to agree.
1:07:41
SPEAKER_01: It's boring to agree, but like, it's boring to agree, but it's also jumped.
1:07:45
SPEAKER_02: Well, hit me with another monster.
1:07:47
SPEAKER_01: Creature from the Black Lagoon?
1:07:49
SPEAKER_02: Who the fuck is that?
1:07:50
SPEAKER_01: Fish, fishy, fishy guy?
1:07:52
SPEAKER_01: How about Dracula?
1:07:55
SPEAKER_01: I don't think Dracula I think Dracula is straight, though.
1:07:58
SPEAKER_02: No.
1:07:58
SPEAKER_01: You think Dracula's gay?
1:07:59
SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's hear it.
1:08:01
SPEAKER_02: Honey, if you're wearing that medallion, yuggay.
1:08:09
SPEAKER_02: If you're drawing a Widow's Peak in, yugay.
1:08:12
SPEAKER_01: That's so that's so true.
1:08:14
SPEAKER_02: If you're powdering your face white, you're gay.
1:08:16
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:08:17
SPEAKER_02: I'm talking about the costume options to add on.
1:08:19
SPEAKER_02: But a widow a widow's peak is like gay.
1:08:23
SPEAKER_01: It's yeah.
1:08:24
SPEAKER_01: Loving blood?
1:08:26
SPEAKER_01: Gay.
1:08:27
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:08:27
SPEAKER_01: Pretty gay, I would say.
1:08:29
SPEAKER_01: Um sucking?
1:08:30
SPEAKER_01: Gay.
1:08:31
SPEAKER_01: Avoiding garlic?
1:08:32
SPEAKER_01: Gay.
1:08:35
SPEAKER_02: Fucking idiot.
1:08:37
SPEAKER_02: Truly though.
1:08:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:08:39
SPEAKER_02: You're gay.
1:08:41
SPEAKER_02: We really gave up onions in our 30s.
1:08:44
SPEAKER_01: I can't eat onions.
1:08:45
SPEAKER_01: It hurts me.
1:08:46
SPEAKER_01: What is Frankenstein even?
1:08:48
SPEAKER_01: Well, he was he's is also reanimated.
1:08:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, he's parts.
1:08:52
SPEAKER_01: You know what I fucking hate?
1:08:53
SPEAKER_02: Who's the song who's like sold me Sold Me for Parts?
1:08:57
SPEAKER_01: Oh, uh Olivia Rodrigo.
1:09:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I'm not buying it.
1:09:01
SPEAKER_02: I know people like that song, but Sold Me for Parts sounds like a car.
1:09:06
SPEAKER_02: It's also, it's also, she's the song is called Vampire, isn't it?
1:09:11
SPEAKER_02: Right.
1:09:11
SPEAKER_01: It's a mixed metaphor.
1:09:12
SPEAKER_02: It's it's a mixed metaphor.
1:09:14
SPEAKER_02: Parts sold me for parts.
1:09:16
SPEAKER_01: Livy.
1:09:17
SPEAKER_01: Livy Rod.
1:09:18
SPEAKER_02: Do you kind of agree?
1:09:19
SPEAKER_02: Sold me for parts.
1:09:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm not attributing to it.
1:09:21
SPEAKER_01: Sold me for parts while you sunk your teeth into me.
1:09:25
SPEAKER_01: Obviously.
1:09:26
SPEAKER_01: But yeah, but it's like, but why one then the other?
1:09:27
SPEAKER_01: It's like it's like Sold me for parts is car.
1:09:30
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's it's it's confusing.
1:09:32
SPEAKER_01: It's a mixed metaphor in a way that it actually is distracting from the from the message.
1:09:37
SPEAKER_01: Because I'm like, sure, make a I have a Frank letter.
1:09:41
SPEAKER_01: I have a label for that for this whore.
1:09:47
SPEAKER_02: Pan?
1:09:48
SPEAKER_02: Polly.
1:09:49
SPEAKER_02: See, this is where it gets weird because like we're talking about lifestyle versus like sexuality.
1:09:55
SPEAKER_02: I know, but also it's any letter.
1:09:57
SPEAKER_02: Well, that's when it was the Supia.
1:09:58
SPEAKER_02: Well, and it's no longer.
1:09:59
SPEAKER_02: So we're we're we're mixing in magic.
1:10:01
SPEAKER_02: What if you challenge yourself to just LGBTQIA?
1:10:04
SPEAKER_02: P for poly because he's made up of different parts, multiple people in one thing.
1:10:08
SPEAKER_01: I I sort of had a same thing.
1:10:09
SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, I know.
1:10:10
SPEAKER_01: We're kind of on the same boat.
1:10:12
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:10:12
SPEAKER_01: Is this offensive?
1:10:14
SPEAKER_01: Uh I mean, if you think that being intersex makes you Frank.
1:10:20
SPEAKER_01: It doesn't.
1:10:21
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:10:21
SPEAKER_01: You're wrong.
1:10:22
SPEAKER_01: I could say T.
1:10:24
SPEAKER_01: I think Frank is T.
1:10:26
SPEAKER_01: Everyone's T.
1:10:27
SPEAKER_01: They're all well, monstrosity is the same thing.
1:10:31
SPEAKER_01: It's a concept that sort of it does kind of map on to queerness in general.
1:10:37
SPEAKER_01: I think all queer people are monsters.
1:10:39
SPEAKER_01: Well, right.
1:10:39
SPEAKER_01: I I mean I I I I think this is this is kind of like a well, it's it's why, like, you know, Interview with the Vampire is never seen it.
1:10:48
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
1:10:49
SPEAKER_01: You got it, you had to see Interview with the Vampire.
1:10:51
SPEAKER_01: It's so they Is Carolyn Ray in that?
1:10:54
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:10:56
SPEAKER_02: Caroline Ray.
1:10:57
SPEAKER_01: Caroline Ray from from No, I think it was like my date with a No, I'm talking about Tom and Brad and Kirsten Dunst.
1:11:07
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
1:11:08
SPEAKER_01: Anne Rice's interview with the vampire.
1:11:10
SPEAKER_01: Gina.
1:11:12
SPEAKER_01: Please.
1:11:13
SPEAKER_01: Uh Gina's not with Gina's dead.
1:11:16
SPEAKER_01: Gina's dead.
1:11:16
SPEAKER_01: And she's back from the dead.
1:11:18
SPEAKER_01: Resurrection is queer.
1:11:20
SPEAKER_01: Gina's a ghost.
1:11:20
SPEAKER_01: We've talked about Jesus and Christ and the cross and Christianity with Peter.
1:11:24
SPEAKER_01: Huge fag.
1:11:25
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:11:26
SPEAKER_01: He was hanging out with guys.
1:11:27
SPEAKER_01: Had one girlfriend.
1:11:29
SPEAKER_01: Had long hair.
1:11:30
SPEAKER_01: Had long hair and a dress.
1:11:32
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:11:33
SPEAKER_01: He wore sandals.
1:11:34
SPEAKER_01: Was on cut.
1:11:35
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:11:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:11:36
SPEAKER_01: No.
1:11:36
SPEAKER_01: He was.
1:11:37
SPEAKER_01: He was Jewish.
1:11:38
SPEAKER_01: I did it.
1:11:39
SPEAKER_01: You did it?
1:11:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, we did it.
1:11:42
SPEAKER_02: You did.
1:11:43
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Jesus fucked me.
1:11:45
SPEAKER_01: Oh.
1:11:45
SPEAKER_01: And his foreskin was pretty.
1:11:47
SPEAKER_01: We should have had foreskin.
1:11:48
SPEAKER_01: We should have had four skin.
1:11:49
SPEAKER_01: No, if I had foreskin, I'd be too powerful.
1:11:51
SPEAKER_01: Me too.
1:11:52
SPEAKER_01: It's uh it's we'd have bigger dicks.
1:11:54
SPEAKER_01: Well, we'd all had bigger dicks if we had foreskin.
1:11:56
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:11:57
SPEAKER_01: T, period.
1:11:59
SPEAKER_02: Well, just as like, don't start off with like a scar.
1:12:02
SPEAKER_01: Well, don't cut parts of off of your your pee-pee.
1:12:05
SPEAKER_02: Rebecca tried to circumcise Gino.
1:12:08
SPEAKER_02: Sorry.
1:12:09
SPEAKER_02: My godson, if you grow up to hear this, yeah, it's public.
1:12:12
SPEAKER_02: He's listening.
1:12:12
SPEAKER_02: He has an account.
1:12:13
SPEAKER_02: And it was kind of it was unsuccessful, so he still kind of has like foreskin.
1:12:17
SPEAKER_02: So it's good.
1:12:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it didn't work out.
1:12:18
SPEAKER_02: So it's good.
1:12:19
SPEAKER_02: She's like, I'm not doing this again.
1:12:20
SPEAKER_02: I'm not doing it.
1:12:21
SPEAKER_02: And because also, like, I think maybe I've influenced her a bit in being like, I wish I had mine.
1:12:26
SPEAKER_02: Let's just like, it's natural.
1:12:27
SPEAKER_02: Keep it natchy.
1:12:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:12:29
SPEAKER_02: Cause like, why are we operating on genitals and like out the gate?
1:12:34
SPEAKER_02: It's just it's dated.
1:12:35
SPEAKER_02: It's wrong.
1:12:36
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:12:36
SPEAKER_02: We'd all have bigger wags if you just let it be.
1:12:40
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:12:40
SPEAKER_02: You know?
1:12:41
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:12:41
SPEAKER_02: Don't you like we're starting with like a scar from fucking jump.
1:12:46
SPEAKER_02: So it's like, no, don't do it.
1:12:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:12:48
SPEAKER_02: We should have foreskin.
1:12:50
SPEAKER_02: Based on our legs too, I think.
1:12:52
SPEAKER_01: I'd love to have foreskin.
1:12:54
SPEAKER_02: Next pandemic, we're restoring our foreskin.
1:12:56
SPEAKER_01: I know a guy who restored his foreskin and it can look bad.
1:12:59
SPEAKER_01: It it can look bad and it can look it and it can look good.
1:13:03
SPEAKER_01: I think it's flatly good, but it will never look perfect.
1:13:08
SPEAKER_01: Great.
1:13:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:13:09
SPEAKER_01: It's either like you restore your foreskin or you transition.
1:13:11
SPEAKER_01: Like that's what happens.
1:13:12
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's either or.
1:13:16
SPEAKER_01: Never mind.
1:13:18
SPEAKER_01: Paddle that.
1:13:20
SPEAKER_01: Pee for pee pee.
1:13:21
SPEAKER_01: Pee pe yeah.
1:13:22
SPEAKER_01: Pee for penis.
1:13:24
SPEAKER_01: Okay, one more.
1:13:25
SPEAKER_01: Or something else.
1:13:26
SPEAKER_01: Not maybe not a movie monster.
1:13:28
SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
1:13:28
SPEAKER_02: Draw your favorite emoji, maybe.
1:13:31
SPEAKER_01: Dr wait, just draw your favorite emoji?
1:13:33
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:13:36
SPEAKER_02: And Ravivi.
1:13:43
SPEAKER_02: Oh, really?
1:13:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
1:13:46
SPEAKER_02: That's beautiful.
1:13:47
SPEAKER_01: Hug hands and drool.
1:13:49
SPEAKER_02: Hi.
1:13:50
SPEAKER_01: Are you on camera?
1:13:52
SPEAKER_01: I'm always on camera.
1:13:55
SPEAKER_02: Kinda good.
1:13:56
SPEAKER_02: I didn't know what the eyes were doing.
1:13:58
SPEAKER_02: So I did like a blend of everything.
1:14:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:14:01
SPEAKER_02: Yours is good too.
1:14:02
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
1:14:03
SPEAKER_02: Cheers.
1:14:04
SPEAKER_02: Jeez.
1:14:05
SPEAKER_01: Are the paddles the worst thing we've ever done?
1:14:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:14:08
SPEAKER_02: I want to draw a marker all over your face like a baby.
1:14:11
SPEAKER_02: Like a toddler on a wall.
1:14:13
SPEAKER_02: That'd be kind of fun.
1:14:14
SPEAKER_02: Next time.
1:14:15
SPEAKER_02: Final country thoughts.
1:14:16
SPEAKER_02: I love you.
1:14:18
SPEAKER_01: I love you.
1:14:19
SPEAKER_01: I love you.
1:14:19
SPEAKER_01: And being a boy with you.
1:14:21
SPEAKER_02: I know.
1:14:21
SPEAKER_01: Or boy-ish.
1:14:23
SPEAKER_02: I you guys should really be proud of us for getting pillows for you.
1:14:27
SPEAKER_02: Viewers.
1:14:28
SPEAKER_02: We have pillows.
1:14:31
SPEAKER_01: We need that's my confetti sound.
1:14:34
SPEAKER_01: I know.
1:14:35
SPEAKER_01: We need confetti cannons.
1:14:38
SPEAKER_02: Next time.
1:14:38
SPEAKER_01: At least once.
1:14:39
SPEAKER_01: Well, this was lovely.
1:14:40
SPEAKER_01: No final country thoughts.
1:14:41
SPEAKER_02: My final country thought is that cookies can be weights.
1:14:45
SPEAKER_02: And Ernie?
1:14:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, is gonna be armed this year.
1:14:50
SPEAKER_02: I hope he's armed.
1:14:52
SPEAKER_01: I hope that's I'm anti-gun.
1:14:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm anti-gun.
1:14:54
SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm anti like I gotta do like the math on it, but it's like I'm anti-shooting range, where it's like, I'm yeah, I'm pretty sure the money you're pumping into this place that lets you shoot guns uh is going to bad stuff.
1:15:08
SPEAKER_02: I went to um my another cousin-in-law had a bachelor party and it was at a paintball range.
1:15:16
SPEAKER_01: Uh-huh.
1:15:16
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, I don't like guns, but if I'm gonna play the ball is better you.
1:15:20
SPEAKER_02: Why do men need to hurt each other?
1:15:22
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, great question.
1:15:24
SPEAKER_02: But I was like, I'm anti-gun, but if I'm playing the the paint better be red.
1:15:30
SPEAKER_02: And it wasn't.
1:15:31
SPEAKER_02: They don't do red paint.
1:15:32
SPEAKER_02: I think it's everything but red.
1:15:34
SPEAKER_02: Red paint.
1:15:35
SPEAKER_02: Like, that's fucking scary.
1:15:39
SPEAKER_02: I'm like, it better be fucking red.
1:15:40
SPEAKER_02: It better look like black bitch.
1:15:42
SPEAKER_02: I want people down and out.
1:15:44
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
1:15:45
SPEAKER_02: In the beret.
1:15:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, in the beret.
1:15:48
SPEAKER_02: Does Rambo have a beret?
1:15:49
SPEAKER_02: Um, vote, comment, subscribe, let me know if the beret is horny.
1:15:55
SPEAKER_01: And also if Rambo has one.
1:15:56
SPEAKER_01: And also, do you think the um the double the ball cap plus fedora is horny?
1:16:02
SPEAKER_01: Or do you think it's terrifying?
1:16:04
SPEAKER_02: And should Mike become an Alicia Keys impersonator?
1:16:07
SPEAKER_02: Felicia Keys.
1:16:08
SPEAKER_02: In a really in appropriate way.
1:16:10
SPEAKER_02: B Way O P.
1:16:11
SPEAKER_02: Bring your own piano.
1:16:12
SPEAKER_02: And on that note, on that note, yeah.
1:16:15
SPEAKER_02: Bye.
1:16:16
SPEAKER_02: Bye.