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Money Dynamics That Keep Polarity in Relationships · Mindful Success Path

• 0:32
  Have you ever wondered what the most compatible financial dynamics are in romantic relationships?
• 0:38
  You know how to manage life together and money together, but keep the spark and the polarity alive so you don't become roommates.
• 0:45
  Or worse, a woman feels like a man's mother.
• 0:49
  Well, in this video, I'm gonna be breaking down the dynamics that I have seen work best over the past 15 years of coaching women in different areas of their lives.
• 0:58
  Eight of those years I was focused on personal finance and I had to help a lot of couples learn how to talk about money.
• 1:05
  In addition to that, I'm bringing my experience of basically having run the gamut in this department from being a very hyper independent single woman for 15 years who would attract.
• 1:16
  Not the greatest men, uh, and had an almost seven figure business to meeting my husband, um, him becoming the sole provider for a while, and also helping my husband build businesses.
• 1:27
  So I've run the gamut in this department.
• 1:29
  I know what works and what doesn't based on my experience and also having coached thousands of women over the last 15 years.
• 1:36
  And I'm gonna be telling you the truth.
• 1:39
  The truth might hurt and it might be unpopular, but hey.
• 1:44
  Sometimes it happens that way.
• 1:45
  Hi, my name is Amanda.
• 1:46
  Welcome to this channel where we talk about how to manifest what you want in life with all the extra stress, chaos, and drama that most people are accustomed to.
• 1:54
  If that's something that you're interested in, make sure to subscribe and hit the notification bell so you don't miss a single video that we have coming out on this channel.
• 2:02
  Lately, you guys have been asking me a lot to talk about money and relationships and how all that.
• 2:07
  Works together.
• 2:08
  So that's what I'm delivering.
• 2:09
  Make sure to subscribe and if you wanna learn more about all the free resources we have available or the courses and programs that we have available.
• 2:18
  You can find them all in the description below or you can visit our online store.
• 2:23
  Okay, let's get into it.
• 2:24
  I'm first gonna talk about what does not work, uh, in relationships when it comes to.
• 2:32
  Money.
• 2:33
  What does not work?
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  Number one is when a woman is very hyper independent, very, I don't need no man, very, she's making money and very focused on her career because she's terrified of intimacy.
• 2:46
  Hi.
• 2:46
  Hello.
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  That was me for a very long time.
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  The other thing that does not work is when a woman is in that particular stage, um, in in particular, she tends to attract men.
• 3:00
  Who want mothers more than anything.
• 3:04
  Another dynamic that does not work is when, or at least I haven't seen it work very well at all.
• 3:10
  And then I'll explain The dynamics that I have seen work and have also experienced working is when a woman is like a CEO of a business.
• 3:19
  And she has a lot of weight and responsibility on her shoulders, and her husband or her partner isn't really doing much of anything.
• 3:27
  I have seen that happen over and over and over again with very smart, very successful women.
• 3:35
  Another dynamic that does not work is when a woman is a CEO, she has a business, she meets a guy.
• 3:42
  She did not vet this man to see if he had the competency to help her run a business, had him handle all the finances, and he bankrupts her and, and ruins her credit because she did not know how to vet him.
• 3:56
  That dynamic also does not work, and another dynamic that does not work is when you have two very high performers.
• 4:04
  So both the man and the woman are very high performers and they're in constant competition with each other rather than working together toward a common goal that also does not work in relationships when it comes to money and business and career.
• 4:20
  And finally, another dynamic that does not work is when he is running the business, but he's very controlling.
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  He uses.
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  Money to control her.
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  Uh, she's basically building a business for him, but she has no ownership of it whatsoever.
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  Uh, and he's basically using her.
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  That's another dynamic that does not work at all.
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  And unfortunately I have seen these dynamics over and over and over again and a lot of these dynamics that do not work I have come to realize, have to do with certain.
• 4:52
  Uh, beliefs or conclusions or principles that people have in their minds?
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  Belief number one, I am not safe with intimacy.
• 5:00
  Therefore, I must protect myself and only focus on my career and be hyper independent because men are dangerous and men ain't shit.
• 5:08
  That's one of them.
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  Uh, number two, like I said, just not knowing how to vet men properly.
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  So you'll have a lot of women who are CEOs and very successful and they get with men who will destroy their lives.
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  It happens because they do not know how to vet them.
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  So that's a principle.
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  Another principle, this one's gonna hurt, right?
• 5:28
  Is thinking that all a relationship is, is love and chemistry and hormones and.
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  All this stuff that when push comes to shove, is it important?
• 5:37
  Yes.
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  But there's other aspects that are also very important that people do not look out for.
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  Aspects like, can we actually build stuff together?
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  Uh, is this person competent to help me build stuff?
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  Those of you who are CEOs, um, things like, you know, um, do we have the same values?
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  Do we have the same goals?
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  These are all conversations we should be having before we're getting married while we're in the dating stages.
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  And a lot of people just.
• 6:04
  Don't, nobody taught them how to do this stuff.
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  So I realized that that was a common pattern as well, or a common belief.
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  A belief like love will, um, you know, overcome all.
• 6:16
  No, it won't, not in a marriage, if it's just feelings.
• 6:19
  You really need to have similar values in order for it to really, um, work and you need to learn how to get on the same page and be a team.
• 6:28
  A lot of the dynamics that don't work, honestly, are based on a lot of.
• 6:31
  Fear, um, based on a lot of insecurity at the end of the day, or just based on people just not knowing how polarity works and not having been educated on how to, you know, date for marriage, right?
• 6:43
  Not just end up with whoever's there that unfortunately, I know it sounds really rough, but I'm coming to you with 15 years of experience on this topic where I have seen it all.
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  Now let's talk about the dynamics that do work.
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  One dynamic that works really well is when, um, she's a stay at home, uh, wife.
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  You know, she loves it.
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  That's what she wants to do.
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  Or a stay at home mom.
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  She's in her feminine energy all day long.
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  Uh, he's not trying to control her or hold anything over her head or anything like that.
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  I know a lot of women have a fear of men doing that if a woman doesn't make her own money.
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  But again, if you learn how to vet properly, a healthy man will not.
• 7:24
  Be controlling of you.
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  So it comes down, um, to vetting.
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  So that dynamic tends to work really well.
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  In fact, a lot of those women self-report as being some of the happiest and most fulfilled.
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  Granted, it is self-reporting, but it's the truth.
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  Another dynamic that works well is when he's the provider.
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  Um, he is the masculine provider taking care of most of the finances.
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  And, um, she just runs a business'cause she wants to, and she works because she wants to, not because she has to.
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  That dynamic also tends to work really well and it keeps the polarity alive in the relationship.
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  A lot of women have a lot of gifts to give, um, and a lot of women, um, you know, need providers in order to be able to give a lot of those gifts into the world because a lot of the things that women are very good at, uh, communication.
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  Intuition, the healing arts, stuff like that, you know, it, it requires, um, uh, a provider to handle a lot of the like, really intense responsibility stuff.
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  And another dynamic that works really well.
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  And again, I've lived all three of these.
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  By the way.
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  Another dynamic that works really well, um, is when the couples do work together.
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  However, uh, the man.
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  I'm just gonna say it, the man is the one who handles more of the, uh, administration, the operations, the finances, just the stuff that's very burdensome.
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  When a man handles the things that are very burdensome to a woman's nervous system and then she is able to spend a lot of time in the creativity, she's able to spend a lot of time in the intuitive stuff.
• 9:02
  Um, that tends to work really well.
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  That's a dynamic that my husband and I have.
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  Like I said, I've lived all three of these, right?
• 9:08
  Um, and I lived some of the others as well.
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  That's how I know they also don't work.
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  But that dynamic tends to work really well, and I can tell you.
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  As a more feminine essence, feminine energy woman.
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  And of course there's nuance to this conversation, but I identify.
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  As a feminine energy, feminine essence woman.
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  I had an almost seven figure business before I met my husband that I was the CEO of.
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  I hated it.
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  It got to a point where I absolutely hated all the responsibility that came with being a CEO.
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  Now, if I contrast that to my first business, my first business, I was a freelance writer.
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  I was creating content.
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  I was an influencer in the financial space.
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  My only job was to create stuff all day long on a topic that I liked.
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  That was my job.
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  I ended up doing that for almost a decade until I realized, you know, this isn't the most scalable thing.
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  I'm working too hard and AI is coming.
• 10:00
  I gotta go change some stuff, right?
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  Or there's an economic crisis coming and they're gonna cut all the marketing departments, right?
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  I had to do some strategic changes, so I loved doing that.
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  Now what happened was that I moved into coaching and consulting and programs and things like that, and I still do a lot of that.
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  But when I first started doing that, it was just me, right?
• 10:23
  And a lot of the responsibility and a lot of the burden of training people, hiring employees, looking at the analytics, looking at the data, managing the money.
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  Did the taxes get done?
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  You know, what about insurance?
• 10:34
  What about this?
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  It all landed on me and I ended.
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  Hating that business and wanting to burn it to the ground, and quite frankly, it was very unsustainable.
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  The difference.
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  Now I actually let that business go and my husband and I got married when my husband and I were dating.
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  You bet your bottom dollar at this point.
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  I knew how to vet and you bet your bottom dollar.
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  I was looking for competency in those departments with whoever I was, I was going to marry because the most important decision you can make in your life is who you're gonna marry.
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  It's like Layla Hormoz says they're like the business partner of your life.
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  Uh, so you have to be very careful with the betting and you bet that I was looking for that.
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  And my husband proved, I mean, he already proved it.
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  He'd run his own businesses before he met me, that he was very competent in those areas.
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  Way more competent than I was, that's for sure.
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  Um, and then although I ended up letting go of that business an option.
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  May'cause I just didn't wanna do it anymore.
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  An option for a woman who may be in that position, but she still loves her business, might be like, okay, I'm gonna stick to the creative stuff because that's what I really enjoy doing.
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  But I'm gonna let my competent partner and my competent husband, uh, take over a lot of the burdensome things like the operation, the adminis, the operations, the administration, the managing of the people, uh, the taxes, like all those kinds of things because there is a, a part of.
• 12:01
  Business that's just very burdensome to a woman's nervous system.
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  When we have way too much responsibility on our shoulders, it ages us.
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  It takes us out of our feminine energy.
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  We don't feel good.
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  I ended up up to a point where I had a ton of hormone issues and thyroid problems for like 10 and 15 years.
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  It really affects us.
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  Now is that to say that there's women out here who can't be CEOs?
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  No.
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  Of course there's women out here who can be CEOs, but it's a dance.
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  Right?
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  And it's just a dance.
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  I wasn't.
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  Really willing to do it was, I was like, no, my life could just be simpler if I marry a man who is competent in these areas and these departments, and then I can relax.
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  So what ended up happening with me and my husband.
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  As he ends up starting his business entrepreneur expat, the idea was mine.
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  It was like one of those intuitive things that came just based on observing my environment and relationships I was having and questions I was getting from a ton of people, and I presented it to him.
• 12:58
  And my husband being very analytical, I know how to talk to him and I was like, Hey, you know, so I'm getting asked all these questions and uh, you know, maybe we should like start a YouTube channel, like answering some of these questions.
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  Like, look, here are some of the stats and the data on how YouTube can really work for best.
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  'cause I know how to talk to him.
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  Um, because if he doesn't see the numbers, he won't believe it.
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  Oh, definitely not back then.
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  Right now, obviously he, he trusts my intuition a lot more, but back then I needed.
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  I needed to show some data and I knew that.
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  Um, so we ended up starting that and very quickly it turned into a six figure business in six months.
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  Then we had to build all these systems, you know, and now my husband just got office space.
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  For that business.
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  And it's been crazy the last week while we get the whole office set up.
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  And of course I've been there helping him.
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  This is the first time I get to be at home in like two weeks.
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  Uh,'cause I've been helping him a lot, uh, because there's a bunch of traffic coming into the office, we're dealing with contractors.
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  There's an event coming up.
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  There's a lot of things happening.
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  So he needed my help and um, it's very interesting how it just moves really, really fast now.
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  What was interesting was things started happening very fast.
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  I felt myself starting to get a little bit overwhelmed.
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  So to give you an idea, we got a new, um, immigration and relocation client for Mexico.
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  We also got like three new properties under management in the area that we're in, and we got two new real estate listing.
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  In my husband's business, we have an event coming up, uh, next weekend in the area for that business where we have a lot of people flying into town.
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  Um, there's just a lot going on and I started to feel like that pang of anxiety that I used to feel in my previous businesses where I'm like, oh my God, this is too much responsibility.
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  There's way too much shit going on.
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  There's way too many.
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  Moving parts.
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  And my husband was cool as a cucumber.
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  My husband was like, bring it on, let's go.
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  Because their nervous systems are built.
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  Um, for a lot more of that, for us women, we have to work on that, uh, a little bit more.
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  And let me tell you, it feels really good.
• 15:01
  To be able to be in a creative space all day long.
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  I help my husband with a lot of the creative in his business because I like it and it's fun and it's what I enjoy and it keeps my feminine energy.
• 15:11
  And then I have this project that also keeps me.
• 15:15
  In my, uh, feminine energy, and then my husband handles the burdensome stuff.
• 15:20
  My husband handles the tech.
• 15:21
  My husband handles the operations.
• 15:23
  My husband handles.
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  In his business in particular, there's a lot of contractors that we work with, and he manages all those people.
• 15:31
  My husband is the one dealing with the lawyers and the contracts and the immigration facilitators and, and the Airbnb and like all the stuff that comes with having a relocation, um, and real estate business.
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  So I'm able to be in my more feminine energy all day long.
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  And then it keeps the polarity and the spark alive in the relationship.
• 15:52
  And the key there was I knew how to vet men by the time I was in my thirties.
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  I knew how to vet them.
• 16:00
  I knew what to look for.
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  I knew what was healthy behavior.
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  I knew what I wanted in my life.
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  And I knew, um, you know, what kind of competency I would need.
• 16:10
  Uh, because just'cause you get married as an ambitious woman doesn't mean your ambition goes away.
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  So in that sense, um, it's a matter of like, is this a good partnership in life, in business and love?
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  And sometimes a lot of people don't think about all of those things when it comes to who they are marrying.
• 16:30
  And that's when things get very.
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  Very messy, especially when it comes to money.
• 16:37
  Um, this is where women will end up with men.
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  They feel they have to mother.
• 16:41
  This is where you end up, like roommates.
• 16:43
  This is where you end up like you're in a competition, is when you don't understand polarity and you also don't understand how to vet men.
• 16:50
  So if you would like to learn more about those things, make sure to subscribe.
• 16:54
  Also, make sure to check out our polarity and relationship classes in the description below.
• 16:58
  I hope you guys found this really helpful.
• 17:00
  Any other questions you have about relationships and money, throw'em at me in the comments.
• 17:05
  This is, I love talking about this stuff, so please throw'em at me in the comments and I would be more than happy to help you.
• 17:11
  Thank you so much for giving me your time today, and I will catch you on the next one.