Latest / Flourishing Femme: Mindset, Balance and Living in Alignment with Marnae Bowcut / From Surviving To Flourishing

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From Surviving To Flourishing · Flourishing Femme: Mindset, Balance and Living in Alignment with Marnae Bowcut

• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to Flourishing Femme.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Marnae Boquett, and I am so excited to be here with you today.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: It's been a while.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: I um had some family things come up, and so it's I haven't been able to record for a while, but I think I'll probably go on a recording frenzy and get four or five done here in the next hopefully four or five days.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: So that way we can always have new content coming your direction.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: So in one of my past podcasts, I talked about the kind of the flow of working through authenticity into full alignment and then embodying that safety in that alignment and authenticity.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where we experience truly flourishing.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a few questions for you right off today.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever wondered what it would feel like to wake up in the morning without that heaviness in your body, or without immediately running through your mental to-do list and worrying about what needs to get done or who needs you, or in my case, it's what I may have forgotten, or how I'm going to manage everything on my plate?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: So, as you think about this, how would you rather wake up?
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: What if you woke up feeling connected to yourself?
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: What if instead of starting your day in a state of pressure and constriction, you woke up thinking about what excites you, or what you desire, or what you'd like to create that day, or work on creating for a future experience, or a future business, or a future trip somewhere?
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: And also, what if you woke up thinking who you genuinely would want to spend time with that day?
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: What if you could move through your day feeling grounded, present, and connected to your own heart, knowing that whatever comes your way, you will have the capacity to meet it with grace, clarity, and intention.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Conscious intention.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: So a lot of us women, at least I remember feeling this way at a point in my life.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I know I work with women every day that this kind of experience can feel almost unimaginable.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: We're so accustomed to organizing, planning, managing, producing, fixing, anticipating and taking care of everyone else that we gradually lose touch with ourselves.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes that that kind of patterning and those kinds of thought processes and that programming can start at a very, very young age.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: We become so good at managing our lives that we forget to actually experience them.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: I got thinking about that the other day when I was talking to one of my clients.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's like we become so good at managing our lives and sometimes four or five other people's lives that we forget to actually experience our life.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that for a minute.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And we're not always sure what we need.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: We know how to keep everything moving, but a lot of times we don't always know how to just be still.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And we know how to show up for everybody around us, but we may have forgotten what it feels like to truly show up for ourselves.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Does this sound like you or does it even sound like somebody that you know?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_00: If so, let them know about these podcasts.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: And if it's you, I would continue to continu continue to invite you to join me.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: So today I want to talk about a journey that I believe is at the heart of a woman's ability to flourish, truly flourish.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: And we talk, I have talked a lot about authenticity and how when we can live in and embody that our true authenticity, then that leads to us living in alignment with our values, with our desires, with our hopes and dreams.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And then alignment helps us cultivate a deeper sense of safety.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you begin to experience that safety within when we create that those conditions for genuine flourishing.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's the I want to, I want to thrive and flourish instead of just survive and cope.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: And all of this isn't about becoming a different woman.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes people think that, say, I don't know, this just sounds like a lot of work, and and do I really have to become that different, or you know, like hatch this new identity and personality, and no, no, no, no.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's actually about remembering and embodying the woman that you really already are.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Think about that for a minute.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: I remember contemplating on this topic precisely, and I was like, man, I've lived so much of my life for everyone else.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even know who I am.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: I want to start exploring that.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I want to really start exploring and getting curious about who I really am.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: So let's start with authenticity again as the beginning.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: And when I talk about authenticity, it's not talking about creating a better version of yourself so that you can finally be good enough.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I'm talking about getting beneath all the layers of conditioning, expectations, programming, protective behaviors, and beliefs that may have taught you to become someone you thought you needed to be in order to be loved, accepted, valued, valued, safe, or maybe even just survive.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere along the way, you may have learned that being a good woman meant being agreeable.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: That was one of my experiences.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: I'm getting these uh upcoming statements from my very own life.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: That being a good mom was uh making, you know, putting my children's everything about my children's needs before mine, and putting myself last.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: That being successful meant working harder than everyone else, all my friends, all my neighbors, sometimes even my husband, and that being lovable meant never disappointing anybody.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh that one right there ruined my life.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I put I'm not even saying that lightly.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: I ended up a very, very mentally unstable new mother.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_00: And I I was able to get through that portion of my life, new mother, young, just my my firstborn son, you know, was my everything.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I didn't never want to put disappoint him, my husband, his family, my family, the neighbors, my boss.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it just became way too much.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I ended up in a really dark spot space.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then here's another one that being worthy meant earning your place in the world, or that belonging meant earning my place in either the family or the corporation or the you know, the business that you work in, or something like that.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then perhaps you learned to silence your own needs because somebody else's needs always seemed more important or more urgent.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I just pretty much laid out my whole experience, and those experiences is actually what brought me here today to discover how to really begin to work through those things and choose into something different.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: Because over time, these patterns became so familiar that we I didn't even recognize them as patterns.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: I just thought they were who I was.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is just who I am.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is how I do life, this is my identity, this is my purpose, and this is what life's all about.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then we can ask ourselves, but what if some of these things that you've been calling your personality are actually protection mechanisms that you've learned along the way through your life?
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: And what if the perfectionism, the overgiving, the constant doing, the people pleasing, and the need to control every outcome were ways that you've just learned to navigate life?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: And what if beneath those strategies there's a woman who is already absolutely, completely worthy, valuable, and whole.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: So as I'm talking to you, I'm extending the invitation to consider that this is where the journey begins is just noticing, getting curious.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: This is my invitation from this specific con um podcast is to notice what you're thinking and what you're feeling when you wake up first thing in the morning.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um or what is your mind doing even right before you go to sleep at night.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Authenticity is the willingness to look honestly, is what is true what is true for you, to become aware of what you've been carrying, and to gently begin to be re gently begin to release what no longer reflects your deepest truth.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's um a challenge or invitation that I give a lot of the women that I work with, and that is to create a value story.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: Really figure out what your values are.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you're in alignment with your values, your life can go pretty great.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're not, it it just feels like you're just dealing, you're just coping and dealing with the hand that you've been dealt.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_00: So there's a little invitation that I'd like to extend to you.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_00: Take a moment, sit down, and think of somebody that you really admire, a woman that you really admire and respect and watch, and maybe even in some ways would like to emulate your life after her.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: It can be somebody even already passed on, like a grandmother or a an aunt, or it can be somebody in history, somebody that you really admired the way that they did their life, that the way they walked their walk, the way that they handled themselves and situations and and um the way that they looked at the world around them.
• 16:00
  SPEAKER_00: And just write down a few of the values.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it'll start out with characteristics, but what did you perceive that that woman that you admired or do admire, what what are her values?
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think she values in her life?
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_00: Does she value God or spirituality or does she value connection?
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: Did she or does she value her family and her time with her family?
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Does she value showing up for herself and being true to herself and having good clear boundaries?
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: It it can be an array of all kinds of different things that you would could write down, but just start somewhere.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I like to instruct this little invitation with figure out your what, what is the value that you admire in her, and why, and then how she lived her life to be in alignment with that value.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then I would love to hear feedback.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear what you come up with, and um, that you can put in the in the um feedback of this podcast.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, so that is an invitation for this specifically this topic that we're talking about today.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna rephrase this authenticity is the willingness to really do some self-discovery and get very curious at what is true for you and to become aware of what you've been carrying, and then gently begin to release what no longer reflects your truth.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I work with a lot of women in helping them do that because sometimes it takes, you know, creating an intention for that, and then maybe getting a little map that gives us some direction as far as what step we take next to get to the to the point to where you feel like you have been able to accomplish this as far as releasing and letting go of what no longer reflects your deepest truth.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: So, in my spiritual framework, I describe this as remembering your divine identity, not earning it, not proving it, but remembering it.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: And that rememberingness begins with awareness.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_00: And awareness can take time, it can take journaling, contemplating, getting curious, and sometimes working with a mentor or a coach like myself, because I'm trained to know how to ask the questions, to help you expand that awareness.
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_00: Because remembering who you are begins with awareness.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so with that being said, we're gonna just talk a little bit about alignment.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Because once we start to have these insights and this rememberingness, we want to begin to embody or create alignment to that rememberingness.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: So it's alignment does now require embodiment.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_00: So once we begin reconnecting with our authentic self and knowing who we truly are, or a rememberingness of that higher divine self that we are, we can start bringing our lives into alignment with that truth and that rememberingness.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: But alignment is more than knowing what you believe, it's more than writing down your intentions, repeating affirmations, or creating a vision board.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Alignment includes embodiment.
• 21:21
  SPEAKER_00: It means being able to experience your truth in a way, in the way that you live, breathe, make choices, relate to others, and move through your day.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_00: And this is where things can get interesting because sometimes it's difficult to feel connected to yourself when your attention is constantly scattered between everything that's happened yesterday, everything that might happen tomorrow, and everything that needs to happen right now.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so when your mind is racing and your body is tense and your nervous system is continually trying to regulate or respond to pressure, it can be challenging to feel grounded and present and connected to your own inner experience.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_00: That is a very real thing.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm just laying it out, putting it on the table so that when you start this journey, you're aware of that.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_00: That you may be physically present in the room, but mentally you are somewhere else entirely.
• 22:30
  SPEAKER_00: You're anticipating a conversation, re rehearsing what you should have said, worrying about whether somebody will approve of you, trying to prevent something from going wrong.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_00: Wrong, or mentally managing 10 different things that haven't even happened yet.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_00: This is what I mean when I talk about feeling fragmented.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_00: We're just, we're either back in the past or out in the future.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I want to go into this a little bit more in my next podcast.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_00: I want to go into it in a lot uh deeper context because I want you to, and at this point, please, just my invitation is to reflect.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_00: How often do you feel fragmented and journal about it?
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Say, oh yeah, how all day long, most of the day, I was back in the past thinking about, you know, what happened three weeks ago with a friend and what I should have said to her, and you know, those kinds of things.
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Or I really spend most of my life out in the future because I'm always fearing, well, what if this happens, or what if that happens?
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, the acronym of fear, false evidence appearing real.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: We're always fearing what might happen.
• 23:53
  SPEAKER_00: Hasn't happened yet, but we fear it might.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: So it's back to that.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I oh, what if she doesn't like me, or what if I make everybody up at the meeting upset, or what if I don't say all the right things, or what if I um don't have the house clean enough for the company that choose to choose that are coming to see us and choosing to spend the weekend with us.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: It's that kind of stuff.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: And begin to just notice, are you more out in the um future with different fears of what you think might happen, or are you back in the past?
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can a lot of times tell because if you're back in the past, sometimes you'll feel shame or regret or resentment or anger or sadness or um that kind of thing.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_00: And it's about things that are in the from that happened in the past.
• 24:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you're out in the future, then you're most likely in fear, unless you are thinking about what you would like to create in the future.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_00: And that's you know, just a lot of really great intentional stuff.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_00: And the one thing that I do want to point out here is a really good way to stay present, truly, is gratitude.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_00: Thinking about the things that you are so grateful for.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: So this is all of this that I have been talking to you about today is actually the heart of the work that I do through my coaching and mentoring with with women and within the the personal mentoring sessions.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_00: And depending on your needs and goals and my approach, it may incorporate reflective practices, inner child work, rebirthing practices, somatic and body awareness experientials, breath work, sound therapy and meditation, rapid eye technology.
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_00: It it truly can encompass so many things.
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_00: I've been doing this work for over 30 years, and I am trained in so many, so many different modalities and and um methodology.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_00: And so it doesn't really matter though, the specific approach matters less than making sure that the work is appropriate for you, that honors your individual needs and supports meaningful and sustainable change.
• 26:53
  SPEAKER_00: So if something in this podcast resonated with you, I invite you to visit awakenedacademy.io and just sign up for a complimentary personal discovery session.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_00: I love getting to know women and working with them on a personal one-on-one basis.
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_00: I love getting to know you and you getting to know me and seeing where you are right now in your journey and exploring what you'd like to experience instead.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then discuss which kind of options might best support you emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.
• 27:55
  SPEAKER_00: Because this journey isn't about fixing a broken woman, it's about creating space for a woman to reconnect with herself and recognize her worth and begin living in a way that reflects who she truly wants to be and reflects her values.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: So I would really love to walk alongside of you as you explore what that could look like in your life.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: And so my invitation is there, it's sincere.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I have just absolutely loved doing this divine feminine type of focused work.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I named my call my podcast Flourishing Fem.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I appreciate you joining me today, and I look forward to meeting up with you again on the next podcast.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you, and have a beautiful day.