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Why Do Couples Fight About Money (and How Can You Fix It)? · Becoming Financially Confident

• 1:20
  Money
• 1:20
  fights
• 1:21
  hurt
• 1:22
  not
• 1:22
  just
• 1:22
  your
• 1:22
  budget,
• 1:23
  but
• 1:23
  your
• 1:24
  relationship.
• 1:25
  That
• 1:25
  small
• 1:26
  purchase
• 1:26
  turns
• 1:26
  into
• 1:27
  tension,
• 1:27
  a
• 1:28
  simple
• 1:28
  question
• 1:28
  turns
• 1:29
  into
• 1:29
  defensiveness,
• 1:30
  and
• 1:31
  a
• 1:31
  credit
• 1:31
  card
• 1:31
  statement
• 1:32
  turns
• 1:33
  into
• 1:33
  silence.
• 1:35
  And
• 1:35
  suddenly
• 1:35
  you're
• 1:35
  not
• 1:36
  arguing
• 1:36
  about
• 1:36
  money
• 1:36
  anymore.
• 1:37
  You're
• 1:38
  arguing
• 1:38
  about
• 1:38
  trust,
• 1:39
  or
• 1:39
  you're
• 1:40
  arguing
• 1:40
  about
• 1:40
  safety.
• 1:41
  Or
• 1:41
  maybe
• 1:41
  you're
• 1:41
  arguing
• 1:42
  about
• 1:42
  feeling
• 1:42
  heard.
• 1:44
  So,
• 1:44
  friend,
• 1:44
  if
• 1:44
  money
• 1:45
  has
• 1:45
  ever
• 1:45
  created
• 1:45
  distance
• 1:46
  between
• 1:46
  you
• 1:46
  and
• 1:47
  someone
• 1:47
  you
• 1:47
  love,
• 1:48
  you're
• 1:49
  not
• 1:49
  alone
• 1:49
  and
• 1:50
  you're
• 1:50
  not
• 1:50
  crazy
• 1:50
  for
• 1:51
  feeling
• 1:51
  how
• 1:51
  heavy
• 1:51
  it
• 1:52
  is.
• 1:52
  And
• 1:53
  you're
• 1:53
  going
• 1:53
  to
• 1:53
  be
• 1:53
  okay.
• 1:55
  So
• 1:55
  here's
• 1:55
  the
• 1:55
  question
• 1:56
  we're
• 1:56
  answering
• 1:56
  today.
• 1:57
  Why
• 1:57
  do
• 1:58
  couples
• 1:58
  fight
• 1:58
  about
• 1:59
  money?
• 1:59
  But
• 1:59
  bigger
• 1:59
  than
• 2:00
  that,
• 2:00
  how
• 2:01
  can
• 2:01
  you
• 2:01
  fix
• 2:01
  it?
• 2:02
  And
• 2:02
  here's
• 2:02
  what
• 2:03
  I
• 2:03
  promise
• 2:03
  you.
• 2:03
  By
• 2:03
  the
• 2:03
  end
• 2:04
  of
• 2:04
  this
• 2:04
  episode,
• 2:04
  you're
• 2:05
  going
• 2:05
  to
• 2:05
  understand
• 2:05
  when
• 2:06
  money
• 2:06
  fights
• 2:07
  are
• 2:07
  rarely
• 2:07
  about
• 2:08
  dollars
• 2:08
  and
• 2:08
  cents,
• 2:09
  what's
• 2:09
  really
• 2:09
  happening
• 2:10
  underneath
• 2:10
  the
• 2:11
  arguments?
• 2:11
  And
• 2:11
  bigger
• 2:12
  than
• 2:12
  all
• 2:12
  those
• 2:12
  things,
• 2:13
  to
• 2:14
  start
• 2:14
  rebuilding
• 2:14
  unity,
• 2:15
  with
• 2:15
  honesty,
• 2:16
  with
• 2:16
  grace
• 2:17
  and
• 2:17
  with
• 2:18
  patience.
• 2:18
  Today
• 2:18
  isn't
• 2:19
  about
• 2:19
  blame.
• 2:20
  It's
• 2:20
  not
• 2:20
  about
• 2:20
  taking
• 2:21
  sides.
• 2:21
  And
• 2:21
  it's
• 2:22
  not
• 2:22
  about
• 2:22
  shame.
• 2:23
  It's
• 2:23
  just
• 2:23
  about
• 2:23
  understanding
• 2:24
  and
• 2:25
  hope.
• 2:47
  Hey,
• 2:48
  friend.
• 2:48
  Ralph
• 2:48
  Estep
• 2:49
  Jr.
• 2:49
  Here.
• 2:49
  Welcome
• 2:50
  to
• 2:50
  Financially
• 2:50
  Confident
• 2:51
  Christian,
• 2:52
  where
• 2:52
  we
• 2:52
  learn
• 2:52
  how
• 2:52
  to
• 2:52
  walk
• 2:53
  through
• 2:53
  life
• 2:53
  and
• 2:53
  money
• 2:54
  with
• 2:54
  wisdom,
• 2:55
  with
• 2:55
  peace,
• 2:56
  and
• 2:56
  with
• 2:56
  a
• 2:57
  heart
• 2:57
  anchored
• 2:57
  in
• 2:57
  God's
• 2:58
  truth.
• 2:58
  My
• 2:59
  mission
• 2:59
  every
• 2:59
  day
• 2:59
  is
• 3:00
  to
• 3:00
  help
• 3:00
  you
• 3:00
  break
• 3:00
  that
• 3:00
  cycle
• 3:01
  of
• 3:01
  financial
• 3:01
  shame
• 3:02
  and
• 3:02
  build
• 3:02
  those
• 3:02
  steady
• 3:03
  habits
• 3:03
  rooted
• 3:04
  in
• 3:04
  faith
• 3:04
  and
• 3:05
  truly
• 3:05
  become
• 3:06
  financially
• 3:07
  confident
• 3:07
  Christians.
• 3:08
  And
• 3:08
  I'm
• 3:09
  really
• 3:09
  glad
• 3:09
  you're
• 3:09
  here
• 3:09
  today.
• 3:10
  Yesterday,
• 3:11
  we
• 3:11
  slowed
• 3:11
  it
• 3:11
  down.
• 3:12
  Remember
• 3:12
  who
• 3:12
  truly
• 3:13
  provides
• 3:13
  our
• 3:13
  income.
• 3:14
  We
• 3:14
  talked
• 3:14
  about
• 3:14
  God
• 3:15
  as
• 3:15
  being
• 3:15
  the
• 3:15
  source
• 3:16
  and
• 3:16
  income
• 3:17
  streams
• 3:17
  as
• 3:17
  tools.
• 3:18
  And
• 3:19
  today
• 3:19
  we're
• 3:19
  going
• 3:19
  to
• 3:19
  start
• 3:19
  a
• 3:19
  new
• 3:20
  conversation.
• 3:20
  It's
• 3:20
  going
• 3:21
  to
• 3:21
  be
• 3:21
  called
• 3:21
  love
• 3:21
  and
• 3:21
  Money.
• 3:22
  Because
• 3:23
  money
• 3:23
  doesn't
• 3:23
  just
• 3:24
  affect
• 3:24
  spreadsheets.
• 3:25
  It
• 3:26
  affects
• 3:26
  our
• 3:26
  tone
• 3:26
  of
• 3:27
  voice.
• 3:27
  It
• 3:28
  affects
• 3:28
  our
• 3:28
  body
• 3:29
  language
• 3:29
  and
• 3:30
  deals
• 3:30
  with
• 3:31
  issues
• 3:31
  of
• 3:31
  trust
• 3:32
  and
• 3:32
  honestly,
• 3:33
  peace
• 3:33
  in
• 3:33
  our
• 3:33
  home.
• 3:35
  And
• 3:35
  friend,
• 3:35
  I'm
• 3:35
  going
• 3:35
  to
• 3:35
  tell
• 3:35
  you
• 3:36
  right
• 3:36
  now,
• 3:36
  if
• 3:36
  this
• 3:36
  is
• 3:36
  a
• 3:36
  tender
• 3:37
  topic
• 3:37
  for
• 3:37
  you,
• 3:38
  I
• 3:38
  want
• 3:38
  you
• 3:39
  to
• 3:39
  feel
• 3:39
  safe
• 3:39
  here.
• 3:39
  There's
• 3:40
  no
• 3:40
  judgment
• 3:40
  here.
• 3:40
  There's
• 3:41
  no
• 3:41
  shaming
• 3:41
  here.
• 3:42
  Here's
• 3:42
  the
• 3:42
  question
• 3:43
  I
• 3:43
  hear
• 3:43
  all
• 3:44
  the
• 3:44
  time,
• 3:44
  usually
• 3:45
  asked
• 3:45
  quietly,
• 3:46
  sometimes
• 3:47
  with
• 3:47
  tears.
• 3:48
  Ralph
• 3:50
  why
• 3:50
  do
• 3:50
  we
• 3:50
  fight
• 3:50
  about
• 3:51
  money
• 3:51
  so
• 3:51
  much
• 3:52
  when
• 3:52
  we
• 3:52
  love
• 3:53
  each
• 3:53
  other
• 3:53
  so
• 3:53
  deeply?
• 3:55
  And
• 3:55
  friend,
• 3:55
  that
• 3:56
  question
• 3:56
  right
• 3:56
  there
• 3:56
  carries
• 3:57
  a
• 3:57
  ton
• 3:57
  of
• 3:57
  pain,
• 3:58
  doesn't
• 3:58
  it?
• 3:59
  But
• 3:59
  it
• 4:00
  also
• 4:00
  carries
• 4:00
  hope.
• 4:01
  And
• 4:01
  it
• 4:01
  carries
• 4:02
  hope
• 4:02
  because
• 4:02
  you're
• 4:02
  still
• 4:03
  asking
• 4:03
  the
• 4:04
  question.
• 4:04
  And
• 4:04
  if
• 4:04
  you're
• 4:05
  still
• 4:05
  asking
• 4:05
  the
• 4:05
  question,
• 4:06
  guess
• 4:06
  what?
• 4:07
  You
• 4:07
  still
• 4:07
  care.
• 4:09
  So
• 4:09
  if
• 4:09
  money
• 4:09
  conversations
• 4:10
  feel
• 4:11
  tense,
• 4:11
  if
• 4:11
  you
• 4:12
  brace
• 4:12
  yourself
• 4:12
  every
• 4:13
  time
• 4:13
  finances
• 4:14
  come
• 4:14
  up,
• 4:14
  if
• 4:14
  you
• 4:15
  avoid
• 4:15
  the
• 4:15
  topic
• 4:15
  entirely
• 4:16
  because
• 4:16
  it
• 4:17
  feels
• 4:17
  safer
• 4:18
  not
• 4:18
  to
• 4:18
  talk
• 4:18
  about
• 4:18
  it,
• 4:20
  you're
• 4:20
  not
• 4:20
  bad
• 4:20
  at
• 4:21
  relationships.
• 4:22
  You're
• 4:22
  not
• 4:22
  broken,
• 4:23
  and
• 4:23
  you're
• 4:23
  not
• 4:24
  doing
• 4:24
  marriage
• 4:25
  wrong.
• 4:26
  You're
• 4:26
  navigating
• 4:27
  something
• 4:27
  emotional,
• 4:28
  often
• 4:29
  without
• 4:29
  the
• 4:29
  tools,
• 4:30
  because
• 4:30
  you
• 4:30
  were
• 4:30
  never
• 4:31
  taught
• 4:31
  those
• 4:31
  tools.
• 4:33
  And,
• 4:33
  friend,
• 4:33
  I've
• 4:34
  got
• 4:34
  to
• 4:34
  tell
• 4:34
  you,
• 4:35
  a
• 4:35
  lot
• 4:35
  of
• 4:35
  good
• 4:36
  couples
• 4:36
  struggle
• 4:36
  here.
• 4:37
  Not
• 4:38
  because
• 4:38
  they
• 4:38
  don't
• 4:38
  love
• 4:38
  each
• 4:39
  other.
• 4:39
  They
• 4:39
  love
• 4:39
  each
• 4:40
  other.
• 4:41
  But
• 4:41
  because
• 4:41
  money
• 4:41
  touches
• 4:42
  nerve
• 4:42
  endings.
• 4:43
  Let
• 4:43
  me
• 4:43
  tell
• 4:43
  you
• 4:43
  right
• 4:44
  now,
• 4:44
  it
• 4:44
  touches
• 4:44
  security,
• 4:45
  it
• 4:46
  touches
• 4:46
  freedom,
• 4:47
  it
• 4:48
  touches
• 4:48
  control.
• 4:49
  It
• 4:49
  gets
• 4:49
  into
• 4:50
  areas
• 4:50
  of
• 4:50
  shame.
• 4:51
  And
• 4:51
  a
• 4:51
  lot
• 4:51
  of
• 4:52
  times,
• 4:52
  it's
• 4:52
  deeply
• 4:52
  rooted
• 4:53
  in
• 4:53
  fear.
• 4:54
  So
• 4:55
  if
• 4:55
  you're
• 4:55
  feeling
• 4:55
  stuck
• 4:55
  right
• 4:56
  now,
• 4:57
  you're
• 4:57
  not
• 4:57
  alone
• 4:58
  feeling
• 4:58
  that
• 4:58
  way.
• 4:59
  And
• 4:59
  here's
• 5:00
  the
• 5:00
  truth.
• 5:00
  Most
• 5:00
  money
• 5:01
  fights
• 5:01
  are
• 5:01
  not
• 5:02
  about
• 5:02
  money
• 5:02
  at
• 5:02
  all.
• 5:03
  They're
• 5:03
  just
• 5:03
  not.
• 5:04
  When
• 5:04
  I
• 5:04
  hear
• 5:04
  somebody
• 5:04
  say,
• 5:05
  waiting
• 5:05
  about
• 5:05
  money,
• 5:05
  I
• 5:05
  go,
• 5:05
  no,
• 5:06
  I
• 5:06
  don't
• 5:06
  think
• 5:06
  you
• 5:06
  are.
• 5:07
  Most
• 5:08
  of
• 5:08
  the
• 5:08
  time,
• 5:08
  they're
• 5:08
  about
• 5:09
  fear.
• 5:09
  That's
• 5:10
  really
• 5:10
  the
• 5:10
  core
• 5:10
  of
• 5:10
  this.
• 5:10
  That's
• 5:11
  the
• 5:11
  root
• 5:11
  of
• 5:11
  this.
• 5:12
  Things
• 5:12
  like
• 5:13
  fear
• 5:13
  of
• 5:13
  not
• 5:13
  having
• 5:14
  enough,
• 5:15
  fear
• 5:15
  of
• 5:15
  repeating
• 5:16
  the
• 5:16
  past
• 5:16
  mistakes
• 5:17
  you've
• 5:17
  been
• 5:17
  through
• 5:17
  before,
• 5:18
  fear
• 5:18
  of
• 5:18
  being
• 5:19
  judged.
• 5:19
  And
• 5:20
  for
• 5:20
  a
• 5:20
  lot
• 5:20
  of
• 5:20
  people,
• 5:21
  it's
• 5:21
  fear
• 5:22
  of
• 5:22
  being
• 5:22
  controlled.
• 5:23
  And
• 5:23
  see,
• 5:24
  money
• 5:24
  is
• 5:24
  just
• 5:24
  a
• 5:25
  stage
• 5:25
  where
• 5:26
  those
• 5:26
  fears
• 5:26
  perform.
• 5:27
  It's
• 5:27
  not
• 5:27
  a
• 5:28
  great
• 5:28
  place
• 5:28
  to
• 5:28
  be.
• 5:28
  But
• 5:29
  here's
• 5:29
  another
• 5:30
  truth.
• 5:31
  When
• 5:32
  someone
• 5:32
  feels
• 5:32
  unsafe,
• 5:34
  they
• 5:34
  either
• 5:34
  get
• 5:35
  loud
• 5:35
  or
• 5:35
  they
• 5:36
  get
• 5:36
  quiet.
• 5:36
  I've
• 5:36
  seen
• 5:36
  this
• 5:37
  in
• 5:37
  my
• 5:37
  own
• 5:37
  life.
• 5:37
  You
• 5:37
  know
• 5:37
  the
• 5:38
  person
• 5:38
  I'm
• 5:38
  talking.
• 5:38
  Maybe
• 5:38
  you're
• 5:38
  that
• 5:39
  person.
• 5:40
  When
• 5:40
  you're
• 5:40
  starting
• 5:40
  to
• 5:40
  feel
• 5:40
  unsafe,
• 5:41
  what
• 5:41
  happens?
• 5:42
  You
• 5:42
  get
• 5:43
  tired?
• 5:43
  Quiet,
• 5:44
  or
• 5:44
  do
• 5:44
  you
• 5:45
  get
• 5:45
  loud?
• 5:46
  So
• 5:46
  maybe
• 5:46
  you
• 5:47
  have
• 5:47
  one
• 5:47
  person
• 5:47
  who
• 5:48
  pushes
• 5:49
  and
• 5:49
  the
• 5:49
  other
• 5:50
  person
• 5:50
  just
• 5:50
  shuts
• 5:50
  down.
• 5:50
  It's
• 5:51
  kind
• 5:51
  of
• 5:51
  funny
• 5:51
  how
• 5:51
  relationships
• 5:52
  work
• 5:52
  like
• 5:52
  that.
• 5:53
  It's
• 5:53
  not
• 5:53
  because
• 5:54
  one
• 5:54
  is
• 5:54
  right
• 5:54
  and
• 5:55
  one
• 5:55
  is
• 5:55
  wrong.
• 5:56
  It's
• 5:56
  because
• 5:57
  both
• 5:57
  are
• 5:57
  protecting
• 5:58
  something.
• 6:00
  And
• 6:00
  listen,
• 6:00
  I've
• 6:00
  worked
• 6:01
  with
• 6:01
  many
• 6:01
  couples
• 6:01
  that
• 6:02
  have
• 6:02
  worked
• 6:02
  through
• 6:02
  this.
• 6:03
  Couples
• 6:03
  who
• 6:04
  deeply
• 6:04
  loved
• 6:05
  each
• 6:05
  other
• 6:05
  but
• 6:05
  felt
• 6:05
  completely
• 6:06
  stuck
• 6:06
  around
• 6:06
  money.
• 6:07
  I'm
• 6:07
  talking
• 6:07
  about,
• 6:07
  they
• 6:07
  loved
• 6:08
  each
• 6:08
  other
• 6:08
  like
• 6:08
  amazing
• 6:09
  love.
• 6:09
  I
• 6:09
  mean,
• 6:09
  when
• 6:10
  it
• 6:10
  came
• 6:10
  to
• 6:10
  money,
• 6:11
  it
• 6:11
  was
• 6:11
  a
• 6:11
  mess.
• 6:12
  And
• 6:13
  I've
• 6:13
  seen
• 6:13
  something
• 6:14
  again
• 6:14
  and
• 6:14
  again.
• 6:15
  When
• 6:16
  couples
• 6:16
  stop
• 6:16
  trying
• 6:17
  to
• 6:17
  win
• 6:18
  and
• 6:18
  they
• 6:18
  start
• 6:18
  trying
• 6:19
  to
• 6:19
  understand,
• 6:20
  the
• 6:20
  whole
• 6:20
  tone
• 6:21
  changes.
• 6:21
  Now,
• 6:22
  listen,
• 6:22
  it's
• 6:22
  not
• 6:22
  going
• 6:22
  to
• 6:22
  happen
• 6:23
  overnight.
• 6:23
  If
• 6:23
  you
• 6:23
  think
• 6:23
  I'm
• 6:24
  going
• 6:24
  to
• 6:24
  listen
• 6:24
  to
• 6:24
  Ralph's
• 6:25
  episode
• 6:25
  and
• 6:25
  everything's
• 6:26
  going
• 6:26
  to
• 6:26
  be
• 6:26
  solved,
• 6:26
  it's
• 6:27
  not
• 6:27
  going
• 6:27
  to
• 6:27
  work.
• 6:28
  But
• 6:28
  over
• 6:28
  time,
• 6:29
  it
• 6:29
  starts
• 6:29
  to
• 6:29
  soften.
• 6:31
  And
• 6:31
  that
• 6:31
  softness
• 6:32
  matters
• 6:32
  in
• 6:32
  the
• 6:32
  long
• 6:33
  term.
• 6:33
  I'll
• 6:34
  never
• 6:34
  forget
• 6:34
  I
• 6:34
  once
• 6:34
  spoke
• 6:35
  with
• 6:35
  a
• 6:35
  couple
• 6:35
  who
• 6:35
  said,
• 6:35
  we
• 6:36
  fight
• 6:36
  about
• 6:36
  spending
• 6:37
  all
• 6:37
  the
• 6:37
  time,
• 6:37
  Ralph.
• 6:38
  And
• 6:38
  they
• 6:39
  came
• 6:39
  in,
• 6:39
  they
• 6:39
  sat
• 6:39
  down
• 6:40
  with
• 6:40
  me,
• 6:40
  and
• 6:40
  in
• 6:41
  Mind.
• 6:42
  They
• 6:42
  thought
• 6:42
  it
• 6:42
  was
• 6:42
  a
• 6:42
  math
• 6:43
  problem.
• 6:43
  They
• 6:43
  thought,
• 6:44
  ralph's
• 6:44
  got
• 6:44
  a
• 6:44
  solution.
• 6:45
  Ralph's
• 6:45
  the
• 6:45
  money
• 6:45
  guy.
• 6:46
  He'll
• 6:46
  figure
• 6:46
  this
• 6:46
  out.
• 6:47
  But
• 6:47
  as
• 6:48
  we
• 6:48
  talked
• 6:48
  a
• 6:48
  little
• 6:48
  bit,
• 6:49
  it
• 6:49
  became
• 6:50
  clear
• 6:50
  it
• 6:50
  wasn't
• 6:50
  about
• 6:50
  math.
• 6:51
  It
• 6:51
  was
• 6:51
  about
• 6:52
  meaning.
• 6:52
  I'll
• 6:53
  never
• 6:53
  forget,
• 6:53
  one
• 6:53
  partner
• 6:53
  heard,
• 6:54
  you're
• 6:54
  irresponsible,
• 6:57
  and
• 6:57
  the
• 6:57
  other
• 6:57
  partner
• 6:58
  heard,
• 6:58
  loud
• 6:58
  as
• 6:58
  day.
• 6:58
  Now,
• 6:59
  neither
• 6:59
  of
• 6:59
  them
• 6:59
  had
• 6:59
  said
• 6:59
  either
• 6:59
  of
• 7:00
  these
• 7:00
  things.
• 7:00
  You
• 7:01
  don't
• 7:01
  trust
• 7:01
  me.
• 7:02
  It
• 7:02
  was
• 7:02
  the
• 7:03
  same
• 7:03
  argument,
• 7:04
  but
• 7:04
  two
• 7:04
  different
• 7:05
  fears.
• 7:06
  And
• 7:06
  when
• 7:06
  we
• 7:07
  named
• 7:07
  those
• 7:07
  fears
• 7:07
  out
• 7:08
  loud,
• 7:08
  the
• 7:08
  volume
• 7:09
  dropped
• 7:09
  right
• 7:09
  away,
• 7:09
  and
• 7:10
  it
• 7:10
  wasn't
• 7:10
  instant,
• 7:11
  but
• 7:11
  enough
• 7:12
  to
• 7:12
  begin
• 7:12
  healing.
• 7:13
  See,
• 7:13
  friends,
• 7:14
  sometimes
• 7:14
  the
• 7:15
  breakthrough
• 7:15
  is
• 7:15
  this.
• 7:16
  You
• 7:16
  stop
• 7:17
  debating
• 7:17
  the
• 7:17
  receipt
• 7:18
  and
• 7:18
  you
• 7:19
  start
• 7:19
  talking
• 7:19
  about
• 7:20
  the
• 7:20
  heart.
• 7:21
  So
• 7:21
  here's
• 7:22
  today's
• 7:22
  central
• 7:23
  question.
• 7:23
  What's
• 7:24
  really
• 7:24
  underneath
• 7:25
  your
• 7:25
  money?
• 7:25
  Disagreements.
• 7:26
  Because
• 7:26
  that's
• 7:26
  what
• 7:26
  we
• 7:27
  got
• 7:27
  to
• 7:27
  answer
• 7:27
  today.
• 7:27
  Because
• 7:28
  once
• 7:28
  you
• 7:28
  see
• 7:29
  that,
• 7:29
  you
• 7:30
  can
• 7:30
  actually
• 7:30
  work
• 7:31
  on
• 7:31
  it
• 7:31
  not
• 7:31
  as
• 7:32
  enemies,
• 7:33
  but
• 7:33
  as
• 7:33
  partners
• 7:34
  working
• 7:34
  for
• 7:34
  that
• 7:35
  same
• 7:35
  goal.
• 7:36
  So
• 7:36
  let's
• 7:36
  walk
• 7:37
  through
• 7:37
  this
• 7:37
  gently
• 7:37
  today.
• 7:39
  Most
• 7:40
  couples
• 7:40
  fight
• 7:40
  about
• 7:41
  three
• 7:41
  surface
• 7:41
  things.
• 7:42
  That's
• 7:42
  what
• 7:42
  I
• 7:42
  think
• 7:42
  this
• 7:42
  is.
• 7:43
  We
• 7:43
  can
• 7:43
  encapsulate
• 7:43
  the
• 7:44
  whole
• 7:44
  thing.
• 7:44
  They
• 7:44
  fight
• 7:44
  about
• 7:45
  spending,
• 7:45
  they
• 7:46
  fight
• 7:46
  about
• 7:46
  debt,
• 7:46
  and
• 7:47
  they
• 7:47
  fight
• 7:47
  about
• 7:47
  priorities.
• 7:48
  That's
• 7:49
  the
• 7:49
  three
• 7:49
  main
• 7:50
  surface
• 7:50
  things.
• 7:50
  That's
• 7:51
  the
• 7:51
  surface
• 7:51
  things.
• 7:51
  Notice
• 7:52
  I
• 7:52
  said
• 7:52
  surface.
• 7:53
  But
• 7:53
  underneath
• 7:54
  those,
• 7:54
  there
• 7:55
  are
• 7:55
  usually
• 7:55
  three
• 7:55
  deeper
• 7:56
  forces,
• 7:57
  and
• 7:57
  they're
• 7:57
  this
• 7:58
  fear,
• 7:59
  story,
• 8:00
  and
• 8:00
  safety.
• 8:00
  So
• 8:01
  we
• 8:01
  got
• 8:01
  to
• 8:01
  unpack
• 8:01
  those.
• 8:02
  It
• 8:03
  all
• 8:03
  starts
• 8:03
  with
• 8:03
  fear.
• 8:04
  What
• 8:04
  if
• 8:05
  we
• 8:05
  don't
• 8:05
  make
• 8:05
  it?
• 8:06
  One
• 8:06
  person
• 8:07
  may
• 8:07
  fear
• 8:07
  instability
• 8:08
  because
• 8:09
  they
• 8:09
  grew
• 8:09
  up
• 8:09
  with
• 8:10
  scarcity.
• 8:10
  Who
• 8:10
  knows
• 8:10
  where
• 8:11
  they
• 8:11
  came
• 8:11
  from,
• 8:11
  but
• 8:12
  they've
• 8:12
  lived
• 8:12
  through
• 8:12
  those
• 8:12
  layoffs.
• 8:13
  They've
• 8:13
  watched
• 8:14
  bills
• 8:14
  pile
• 8:14
  up
• 8:15
  before,
• 8:15
  so
• 8:15
  when
• 8:16
  money
• 8:16
  feels
• 8:16
  uncertain
• 8:17
  to
• 8:17
  them,
• 8:17
  their
• 8:17
  body
• 8:18
  goes
• 8:18
  into
• 8:18
  alert
• 8:19
  mode.
• 8:19
  They've
• 8:19
  seen
• 8:19
  this
• 8:19
  before.
• 8:20
  They've
• 8:20
  seen
• 8:20
  this
• 8:20
  play
• 8:21
  out
• 8:21
  before.
• 8:21
  They
• 8:22
  don't
• 8:22
  just
• 8:22
  want
• 8:22
  a
• 8:22
  budget.
• 8:23
  They
• 8:23
  want
• 8:23
  safety.
• 8:24
  And
• 8:25
  when
• 8:25
  they
• 8:25
  don't
• 8:25
  feel
• 8:25
  safe,
• 8:26
  they
• 8:26
  can
• 8:27
  sound
• 8:27
  controlling.
• 8:28
  But,
• 8:28
  friend,
• 8:29
  often
• 8:29
  it's
• 8:29
  not
• 8:30
  control.
• 8:30
  It's
• 8:31
  fear
• 8:31
  wearing
• 8:32
  a
• 8:32
  mask.
• 8:33
  Then
• 8:33
  let's
• 8:33
  talk
• 8:34
  about
• 8:34
  story,
• 8:34
  because
• 8:35
  story
• 8:35
  gets
• 8:35
  important
• 8:35
  here.
• 8:36
  What
• 8:36
  does
• 8:36
  this
• 8:36
  mean
• 8:37
  about
• 8:37
  me?
• 8:37
  See,
• 8:38
  money
• 8:38
  carries
• 8:38
  messages.
• 8:40
  A
• 8:40
  purchase
• 8:41
  can
• 8:41
  feel
• 8:41
  like
• 8:41
  disrespect.
• 8:43
  A
• 8:43
  question
• 8:43
  can
• 8:44
  feel
• 8:44
  like
• 8:44
  an
• 8:44
  accusation.
• 8:45
  You
• 8:45
  ever
• 8:45
  known
• 8:45
  somebody,
• 8:45
  they
• 8:45
  question
• 8:46
  you
• 8:46
  feel
• 8:46
  like
• 8:46
  you're
• 8:46
  being
• 8:46
  accused.
• 8:48
  And
• 8:48
  a
• 8:48
  we
• 8:48
  need
• 8:49
  to
• 8:49
  cut
• 8:49
  back
• 8:49
  conversation
• 8:50
  can
• 8:51
  really
• 8:51
  feel
• 8:51
  like
• 8:51
  they're
• 8:52
  shaming
• 8:52
  you.
• 8:53
  So
• 8:53
  the
• 8:54
  argument
• 8:54
  naturally
• 8:54
  comes,
• 8:55
  you
• 8:55
  don't
• 8:55
  value
• 8:55
  me.
• 8:56
  Or
• 8:56
  if
• 8:56
  you
• 8:56
  don't
• 8:56
  trust
• 8:57
  me,
• 8:57
  I
• 8:57
  can't
• 8:58
  do
• 8:58
  anything
• 8:59
  right.
• 9:00
  And,
• 9:00
  friend,
• 9:01
  if
• 9:01
  you've
• 9:01
  ever
• 9:01
  felt
• 9:02
  that
• 9:02
  you're
• 9:02
  not
• 9:02
  crazy,
• 9:03
  because
• 9:03
  money
• 9:03
  touches
• 9:04
  your
• 9:04
  identity,
• 9:06
  and
• 9:06
  it
• 9:06
  normally
• 9:06
  leads
• 9:07
  to
• 9:07
  safety.
• 9:09
  Can
• 9:09
  we
• 9:09
  talk
• 9:09
  without
• 9:10
  getting
• 9:10
  hurt?
• 9:10
  And
• 9:10
  this
• 9:11
  is
• 9:11
  the
• 9:11
  big
• 9:11
  one.
• 9:12
  If
• 9:13
  money
• 9:13
  talks,
• 9:13
  become
• 9:14
  sarcasm
• 9:14
  and
• 9:15
  stonewalling
• 9:15
  and
• 9:16
  eye
• 9:16
  rolling
• 9:16
  and
• 9:16
  scorching.
• 9:17
  Boxing,
• 9:17
  if
• 9:17
  you
• 9:18
  will.
• 9:19
  Then
• 9:19
  your
• 9:19
  brain
• 9:19
  learns
• 9:20
  this.
• 9:21
  This
• 9:21
  topic
• 9:22
  isn't
• 9:22
  safe.
• 9:23
  That's
• 9:23
  what
• 9:23
  it
• 9:24
  learns.
• 9:24
  That's
• 9:24
  what
• 9:24
  you're
• 9:25
  slowly
• 9:25
  learning.
• 9:26
  And
• 9:26
  once
• 9:26
  the
• 9:26
  topic
• 9:26
  isn't
• 9:27
  safe,
• 9:28
  you
• 9:28
  stop
• 9:28
  solving
• 9:29
  problems
• 9:29
  and
• 9:29
  you
• 9:29
  start
• 9:29
  protecting
• 9:30
  yourself.
• 9:30
  You
• 9:31
  put
• 9:31
  yourself
• 9:31
  up
• 9:31
  right.
• 9:33
  So
• 9:33
  now
• 9:33
  you're
• 9:33
  asking
• 9:34
  what
• 9:34
  fixes
• 9:34
  it.
• 9:34
  Well,
• 9:35
  guess
• 9:35
  what?
• 9:35
  It's
• 9:35
  not
• 9:35
  a
• 9:36
  perfect
• 9:36
  budget.
• 9:36
  I'd
• 9:36
  love
• 9:36
  to
• 9:36
  tell
• 9:36
  you
• 9:37
  it
• 9:37
  was
• 9:37
  a
• 9:37
  perfect
• 9:37
  budget.
• 9:37
  I'd
• 9:38
  love
• 9:38
  to
• 9:38
  tell
• 9:38
  you
• 9:38
  it's
• 9:38
  a
• 9:38
  strict
• 9:38
  rule
• 9:39
  thing.
• 9:39
  But
• 9:39
  that's
• 9:39
  not
• 9:39
  what
• 9:40
  does
• 9:40
  it.
• 9:40
  The
• 9:41
  first
• 9:41
  step
• 9:41
  is
• 9:41
  finding
• 9:42
  safety,
• 9:43
  because
• 9:43
  safety
• 9:44
  is
• 9:44
  what
• 9:44
  makes
• 9:44
  honesty
• 9:45
  possible.
• 9:46
  And
• 9:46
  when
• 9:46
  honesty,
• 9:47
  it
• 9:47
  makes
• 9:47
  unity
• 9:48
  possible.
• 9:49
  So
• 9:50
  here
• 9:50
  are
• 9:50
  three
• 9:50
  gentle
• 9:51
  repair
• 9:51
  tools
• 9:51
  that
• 9:51
  you
• 9:52
  can
• 9:52
  start
• 9:52
  using
• 9:52
  today.
• 9:52
  See,
• 9:53
  I
• 9:53
  promised
• 9:53
  you
• 9:53
  I'd
• 9:53
  give
• 9:53
  you
• 9:53
  something
• 9:54
  today.
• 9:54
  Here's
• 9:54
  tool
• 9:54
  number
• 9:55
  one.
• 9:55
  Start
• 9:56
  with
• 9:56
  softness.
• 9:57
  Start
• 9:57
  with.
• 9:58
  Instead
• 9:58
  of,
• 9:58
  you
• 9:58
  always
• 9:58
  spend
• 9:59
  too
• 9:59
  much.
• 10:00
  How
• 10:00
  many
• 10:00
  times
• 10:00
  have
• 10:00
  you
• 10:01
  heard
• 10:01
  that?
• 10:02
  Try
• 10:03
  this.
• 10:03
  Can
• 10:03
  we
• 10:03
  talk
• 10:03
  for
• 10:04
  a
• 10:04
  minute?
• 10:04
  Because
• 10:04
  I'm
• 10:05
  feeling
• 10:05
  anxious.
• 10:06
  You
• 10:06
  notice
• 10:07
  I
• 10:07
  use
• 10:07
  the
• 10:07
  word
• 10:07
  we
• 10:08
  and
• 10:09
  I'm.
• 10:10
  And
• 10:10
  instead
• 10:11
  of,
• 10:11
  you
• 10:12
  never
• 10:12
  tell
• 10:12
  me
• 10:12
  anything.
• 10:13
  How
• 10:14
  many
• 10:14
  times
• 10:14
  you've
• 10:14
  heard
• 10:14
  that?
• 10:14
  You
• 10:14
  never
• 10:15
  tell
• 10:15
  me
• 10:15
  anything.
• 10:17
  Try
• 10:17
  this.
• 10:18
  I
• 10:18
  want
• 10:18
  to
• 10:18
  understand.
• 10:20
  Can
• 10:20
  you
• 10:20
  help
• 10:20
  me
• 10:21
  see
• 10:21
  it?
• 10:21
  Notice
• 10:21
  I
• 10:21
  use
• 10:22
  I
• 10:23
  help
• 10:23
  me.
• 10:25
  Because
• 10:25
  friends,
• 10:26
  see,
• 10:26
  sometimes
• 10:26
  softness
• 10:27
  lowers
• 10:27
  the
• 10:28
  defenses.
• 10:29
  So
• 10:29
  start
• 10:29
  with
• 10:29
  softness.
• 10:30
  Here's
• 10:30
  tool
• 10:30
  number
• 10:31
  two.
• 10:32
  Name
• 10:32
  the
• 10:32
  feeling,
• 10:33
  not
• 10:33
  the
• 10:33
  failure.
• 10:34
  This
• 10:35
  one
• 10:35
  is
• 10:35
  so
• 10:35
  critical.
• 10:36
  Instead
• 10:36
  of,
• 10:36
  you're
• 10:37
  irresponsible.
• 10:39
  As
• 10:39
  soon
• 10:39
  as
• 10:40
  you
• 10:40
  say
• 10:40
  that,
• 10:40
  guess
• 10:40
  what?
• 10:40
  A
• 10:41
  defensive
• 10:41
  person,
• 10:41
  they're
• 10:42
  shutting
• 10:42
  down.
• 10:43
  Try
• 10:43
  this.
• 10:43
  I'm
• 10:44
  scared
• 10:44
  we
• 10:44
  don't
• 10:45
  have
• 10:45
  enough.
• 10:45
  Or
• 10:46
  I'm
• 10:46
  scared
• 10:46
  we
• 10:46
  won't
• 10:47
  have
• 10:47
  enough.
• 10:49
  See
• 10:49
  how
• 10:49
  different
• 10:49
  that
• 10:49
  is?
• 10:50
  Instead
• 10:51
  of
• 10:51
  you're
• 10:51
  controlling
• 10:53
  again,
• 10:53
  you're
• 10:54
  shutting
• 10:54
  the
• 10:54
  conversation
• 10:55
  down.
• 10:56
  Try
• 10:56
  this
• 10:56
  one.
• 10:56
  I
• 10:57
  feel
• 10:57
  boxed
• 10:57
  in
• 10:58
  and
• 10:58
  I
• 10:58
  need
• 10:59
  breathing
• 10:59
  room.
• 10:59
  You
• 11:00
  notice
• 11:00
  I
• 11:00
  use
• 11:00
  the
• 11:00
  word
• 11:00
  I
• 11:01
  twice
• 11:01
  in
• 11:01
  that
• 11:01
  sentence.
• 11:02
  See,
• 11:03
  that's
• 11:03
  honest
• 11:04
  and
• 11:04
  it's
• 11:05
  safer.
• 11:06
  And
• 11:07
  here's
• 11:07
  tool
• 11:07
  number
• 11:08
  three.
• 11:08
  And
• 11:08
  this
• 11:08
  one,
• 11:08
  I
• 11:08
  think,
• 11:09
  is
• 11:09
  the
• 11:09
  biggest
• 11:09
  one
• 11:10
  of
• 11:10
  them
• 11:10
  all.
• 11:10
  You've
• 11:10
  got
• 11:11
  to
• 11:11
  build
• 11:11
  a
• 11:11
  shared
• 11:12
  why.
• 11:13
  See,
• 11:13
  most
• 11:14
  couples
• 11:14
  argue
• 11:15
  about
• 11:15
  the
• 11:15
  what,
• 11:16
  what
• 11:16
  did
• 11:17
  you
• 11:17
  spend?
• 11:17
  What
• 11:18
  Bill
• 11:18
  is
• 11:18
  late.
• 11:18
  What
• 11:18
  are
• 11:19
  we
• 11:19
  doing
• 11:19
  here?
• 11:20
  But
• 11:20
  there's
• 11:20
  no
• 11:21
  unity
• 11:21
  in
• 11:21
  that.
• 11:21
  Unity
• 11:22
  comes
• 11:22
  from
• 11:22
  the
• 11:23
  why
• 11:23
  of
• 11:23
  this.
• 11:25
  Why
• 11:25
  do
• 11:25
  we
• 11:25
  want
• 11:26
  stability?
• 11:27
  Why
• 11:27
  do
• 11:27
  we
• 11:27
  want
• 11:28
  to
• 11:28
  get
• 11:28
  out
• 11:28
  of
• 11:28
  debt?
• 11:29
  Why
• 11:29
  do
• 11:29
  we
• 11:29
  want
• 11:30
  margin?
• 11:31
  And
• 11:31
  see,
• 11:31
  when
• 11:31
  you
• 11:31
  share
• 11:32
  a
• 11:32
  why,
• 11:33
  you
• 11:33
  stop
• 11:33
  fighting
• 11:34
  each
• 11:34
  other
• 11:35
  and
• 11:35
  you
• 11:35
  start
• 11:36
  fighting
• 11:36
  for
• 11:36
  that
• 11:36
  same
• 11:37
  future.
• 11:37
  You
• 11:37
  start
• 11:37
  fighting
• 11:38
  for
• 11:38
  that
• 11:38
  why.
• 11:39
  So
• 11:40
  let
• 11:40
  me
• 11:40
  say
• 11:40
  this
• 11:40
  clearly
• 11:42
  unity
• 11:42
  doesn't
• 11:43
  mean
• 11:43
  you
• 11:43
  agree
• 11:43
  on
• 11:43
  everything.
• 11:44
  You
• 11:44
  didn't
• 11:44
  hear
• 11:44
  me
• 11:44
  say
• 11:45
  that
• 11:45
  today
• 11:45
  there
• 11:45
  are
• 11:45
  going
• 11:45
  to
• 11:45
  be
• 11:46
  disagreements
• 11:47
  that
• 11:47
  are
• 11:47
  just
• 11:47
  going
• 11:47
  to
• 11:48
  be
• 11:48
  disagreements,
• 11:49
  but
• 11:50
  it
• 11:50
  means
• 11:50
  you
• 11:50
  choose
• 11:51
  the
• 11:51
  same
• 11:51
  direction
• 11:52
  even
• 11:53
  if
• 11:53
  you
• 11:53
  walk
• 11:53
  differently.
• 11:54
  Getting
• 11:54
  there.
• 11:55
  But
• 11:55
  let's
• 11:55
  ground
• 11:56
  this
• 11:56
  in
• 11:56
  scripture
• 11:56
  today.
• 11:57
  Let's
• 11:57
  look
• 11:57
  at
• 11:57
  the
• 11:57
  Book
• 11:57
  of
• 11:57
  Amos,
• 11:58
  chapter
• 11:58
  three,
• 11:59
  verse
• 11:59
  three,
• 12:00
  do
• 12:00
  two
• 12:00
  walk
• 12:01
  together
• 12:01
  unless
• 12:01
  they
• 12:02
  have
• 12:02
  agreed
• 12:02
  to
• 12:02
  do
• 12:03
  so?
• 12:04
  See
• 12:04
  friend,
• 12:04
  agreement
• 12:05
  doesn't
• 12:05
  mean
• 12:06
  perfection.
• 12:07
  It
• 12:07
  just
• 12:08
  means
• 12:08
  alignment.
• 12:09
  It
• 12:10
  means
• 12:10
  things
• 12:10
  like
• 12:10
  this.
• 12:10
  We're
• 12:10
  all
• 12:11
  on
• 12:11
  the
• 12:11
  same
• 12:11
  team,
• 12:12
  we're
• 12:12
  headed
• 12:13
  in
• 12:13
  the
• 12:13
  same
• 12:13
  direction.
• 12:15
  We're
• 12:15
  not
• 12:15
  pulling
• 12:16
  apart.
• 12:17
  And
• 12:17
  see,
• 12:18
  money
• 12:18
  can
• 12:18
  be
• 12:18
  a
• 12:18
  place
• 12:18
  where
• 12:19
  you
• 12:19
  can
• 12:19
  practice
• 12:19
  agreement
• 12:20
  one
• 12:21
  calm
• 12:21
  conversation
• 12:22
  at
• 12:22
  a
• 12:22
  time.
• 12:23
  So
• 12:23
  here's
• 12:24
  your
• 12:24
  simple
• 12:24
  step
• 12:24
  for
• 12:25
  today.
• 12:25
  I
• 12:25
  don't
• 12:25
  want
• 12:25
  you
• 12:25
  to
• 12:25
  do
• 12:26
  some
• 12:26
  big
• 12:26
  overhaul.
• 12:27
  I
• 12:27
  just
• 12:27
  want
• 12:27
  you
• 12:27
  to
• 12:27
  make
• 12:28
  one
• 12:28
  small
• 12:29
  move
• 12:29
  towards
• 12:30
  connection.
• 12:30
  Here's
• 12:31
  what
• 12:31
  I
• 12:31
  want
• 12:31
  you
• 12:31
  to
• 12:31
  do.
• 12:32
  Schedule
• 12:32
  a
• 12:33
  15
• 12:33
  minute
• 12:33
  money
• 12:34
  check
• 12:34
  in
• 12:34
  with
• 12:34
  your
• 12:34
  spouse
• 12:35
  or
• 12:35
  partner
• 12:35
  within
• 12:36
  the
• 12:36
  next
• 12:36
  seven
• 12:36
  days.
• 12:36
  Put
• 12:37
  it
• 12:37
  on
• 12:37
  the
• 12:37
  calendar
• 12:38
  and
• 12:39
  in
• 12:39
  that
• 12:39
  meeting,
• 12:39
  I
• 12:40
  don't
• 12:40
  want
• 12:40
  it
• 12:40
  to
• 12:40
  be
• 12:40
  some
• 12:41
  grand
• 12:41
  agenda
• 12:42
  of
• 12:42
  we're
• 12:42
  going
• 12:42
  to
• 12:42
  cover
• 12:42
  this,
• 12:43
  this,
• 12:43
  this
• 12:43
  because
• 12:43
  you're
• 12:44
  going
• 12:44
  to
• 12:44
  shut
• 12:44
  them
• 12:44
  down.
• 12:45
  Two
• 12:45
  questions
• 12:46
  you
• 12:46
  need
• 12:46
  to
• 12:46
  ask.
• 12:47
  What's
• 12:47
  one
• 12:48
  money
• 12:48
  thing
• 12:48
  that
• 12:48
  we've
• 12:49
  been
• 12:49
  stressing
• 12:49
  you
• 12:49
  on
• 12:49
  lately?
• 12:50
  What's
• 12:50
  been
• 12:50
  stressing
• 12:51
  you
• 12:51
  lately?
• 12:52
  That's
• 12:52
  question
• 12:52
  number
• 12:53
  one.
• 12:53
  Question
• 12:53
  number
• 12:54
  two,
• 12:54
  what's
• 12:54
  one
• 12:54
  small
• 12:55
  step
• 12:55
  we
• 12:55
  can
• 12:56
  take
• 12:56
  this
• 12:56
  week
• 12:57
  to
• 12:57
  feel
• 12:57
  more
• 12:57
  stable?
• 12:58
  You
• 12:58
  notice
• 12:58
  I
• 12:58
  said
• 12:59
  we
• 12:59
  can
• 12:59
  do
• 13:00
  things
• 13:00
  that
• 13:00
  we've
• 13:01
  been
• 13:01
  stressing
• 13:01
  about
• 13:02
  and
• 13:02
  what's
• 13:02
  one
• 13:02
  small
• 13:03
  step
• 13:03
  we
• 13:03
  can
• 13:03
  take?
• 13:03
  That's
• 13:04
  it.
• 13:04
  This
• 13:04
  isn't
• 13:05
  a
• 13:05
  time
• 13:05
  to
• 13:05
  lecture.
• 13:06
  This
• 13:06
  isn't
• 13:06
  a
• 13:06
  time
• 13:06
  to
• 13:07
  debate.
• 13:07
  This
• 13:07
  isn't
• 13:07
  a
• 13:08
  time
• 13:08
  to
• 13:08
  post
• 13:08
  all
• 13:09
  your
• 13:09
  issues
• 13:09
  and
• 13:09
  start
• 13:10
  castigating
• 13:10
  this
• 13:11
  person
• 13:11
  down.
• 13:12
  Just
• 13:12
  listen
• 13:12
  more
• 13:13
  than
• 13:13
  you
• 13:13
  speak.
• 13:14
  Take
• 13:14
  it
• 13:15
  in.
• 13:15
  The
• 13:15
  goal
• 13:16
  is
• 13:16
  not
• 13:16
  to
• 13:16
  solve
• 13:16
  everything.
• 13:17
  The
• 13:17
  goal
• 13:17
  is
• 13:18
  safety,
• 13:18
  building
• 13:19
  connection
• 13:20
  and
• 13:20
  then
• 13:20
  we
• 13:20
  can
• 13:20
  look
• 13:20
  for
• 13:21
  solutions
• 13:21
  later.
• 13:22
  So
• 13:22
  just
• 13:22
  try
• 13:23
  that
• 13:23
  15
• 13:23
  minutes
• 13:24
  this
• 13:24
  week
• 13:24
  and
• 13:24
  just
• 13:24
  answer
• 13:25
  those
• 13:25
  two
• 13:25
  questions.
• 13:26
  Lord,
• 13:27
  thank
• 13:27
  you
• 13:27
  for
• 13:28
  the
• 13:28
  relationships
• 13:28
  you've
• 13:29
  placed
• 13:29
  in
• 13:29
  our
• 13:29
  lives.
• 13:30
  You
• 13:30
  see
• 13:31
  the
• 13:31
  tension,
• 13:32
  you
• 13:32
  see
• 13:32
  the
• 13:32
  misunderstandings.
• 13:33
  You
• 13:34
  see
• 13:34
  the
• 13:34
  fear
• 13:34
  underneath
• 13:35
  of
• 13:35
  it,
• 13:35
  Lord.
• 13:36
  So
• 13:37
  bring
• 13:37
  unity
• 13:37
  when
• 13:37
  money
• 13:38
  has
• 13:38
  brought
• 13:38
  division.
• 13:39
  Give
• 13:39
  us
• 13:40
  honesty
• 13:40
  without
• 13:40
  harm.
• 13:41
  Give
• 13:41
  us
• 13:41
  grace
• 13:42
  without
• 13:42
  avoidance.
• 13:43
  Help
• 13:44
  us
• 13:44
  speak
• 13:44
  gently,
• 13:45
  help
• 13:45
  us
• 13:46
  listen
• 13:46
  patiently
• 13:47
  and
• 13:47
  help
• 13:48
  us
• 13:48
  move
• 13:48
  forward
• 13:48
  together.
• 13:49
  We
• 13:49
  ask
• 13:49
  this
• 13:49
  in
• 13:50
  Jesus
• 13:50
  name.
• 13:51
  Amen,
• 13:53
  friend.
• 13:53
  If
• 13:53
  money
• 13:53
  conversations
• 13:54
  feel
• 13:55
  heavy,
• 13:55
  you
• 13:56
  don't
• 13:56
  have
• 13:56
  to
• 13:56
  carry
• 13:56
  that
• 13:56
  alone
• 13:57
  anymore.
• 13:57
  I
• 13:57
  want
• 13:58
  to
• 13:58
  encourage
• 13:58
  you.
• 13:58
  Come
• 13:58
  join
• 13:58
  us
• 13:58
  in
• 13:59
  our
• 13:59
  community
• 14:00
  at
• 14:00
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/join.
• 14:03
  That's
• 14:04
  financiallyconfidentchristian.com/join
• 14:07
  and
• 14:07
  here's
• 14:07
  what
• 14:07
  I
• 14:07
  hear
• 14:08
  from
• 14:08
  people
• 14:08
  inside.
• 14:09
  Somebody
• 14:09
  said,
• 14:10
  ralph,
• 14:10
  I
• 14:10
  finally
• 14:11
  found
• 14:11
  a
• 14:11
  place
• 14:11
  where
• 14:11
  I
• 14:11
  can
• 14:12
  talk
• 14:12
  about
• 14:12
  money
• 14:12
  without
• 14:13
  feeling
• 14:13
  judged.
• 14:14
  It's
• 14:15
  no
• 14:15
  shame,
• 14:15
  no
• 14:16
  embarrassment.
• 14:17
  No,
• 14:17
  you
• 14:17
  should
• 14:17
  have
• 14:17
  known
• 14:18
  better.
• 14:19
  Just
• 14:19
  a
• 14:19
  safe
• 14:20
  community
• 14:20
  where
• 14:20
  people
• 14:20
  learn
• 14:21
  simple
• 14:21
  steps
• 14:22
  and
• 14:22
  get
• 14:22
  encouraged
• 14:23
  with
• 14:23
  grace.
• 14:24
  And
• 14:24
  you
• 14:24
  are
• 14:25
  so
• 14:25
  welcome
• 14:25
  there,
• 14:25
  friend.
• 14:27
  Friend.
• 14:27
  Money
• 14:28
  doesn't
• 14:28
  have
• 14:28
  to
• 14:28
  divide
• 14:29
  you
• 14:30
  with
• 14:30
  patience,
• 14:31
  with
• 14:31
  honesty,
• 14:31
  and
• 14:31
  with
• 14:32
  grace,
• 14:32
  it
• 14:33
  can
• 14:33
  actually
• 14:33
  bring
• 14:33
  you
• 14:34
  closer.
• 14:35
  Even
• 14:36
  if
• 14:36
  you've
• 14:36
  had
• 14:36
  hard
• 14:37
  conversations
• 14:38
  before.
• 14:38
  You
• 14:38
  can
• 14:38
  start
• 14:39
  again
• 14:39
  today.
• 14:39
  Just
• 14:39
  one
• 14:40
  gentle
• 14:40
  check
• 14:40
  in,
• 14:40
  just
• 14:41
  one
• 14:41
  honest
• 14:41
  sentence,
• 14:42
  just
• 14:42
  one
• 14:43
  moment
• 14:43
  of
• 14:43
  listening.
• 14:44
  Now,
• 14:45
  tomorrow
• 14:45
  we're
• 14:45
  going
• 14:45
  to
• 14:45
  continue
• 14:45
  on
• 14:46
  this.
• 14:46
  We're
• 14:46
  going
• 14:46
  to
• 14:46
  talk
• 14:46
  about
• 14:47
  opposites
• 14:47
  attracting
• 14:48
  and
• 14:48
  what
• 14:48
  do
• 14:48
  you
• 14:48
  do
• 14:49
  when
• 14:49
  you're
• 14:49
  a
• 14:49
  saver
• 14:49
  and
• 14:50
  narrow
• 14:50
  spender?
• 14:50
  So
• 14:51
  I
• 14:51
  see
• 14:51
  this
• 14:51
  all
• 14:51
  the
• 14:52
  time
• 14:52
  as
• 14:52
  well.
• 14:53
  Gonna
• 14:53
  be
• 14:53
  a
• 14:53
  great
• 14:53
  episode
• 14:54
  tomorrow.
• 14:55
  And
• 14:55
  if
• 14:55
  today
• 14:55
  helped
• 14:56
  you,
• 14:56
  I
• 14:56
  wanna
• 14:56
  encourage
• 14:56
  you,
• 14:57
  share
• 14:57
  it
• 14:57
  with
• 14:57
  a
• 14:57
  couple
• 14:58
  who
• 14:58
  needs
• 14:58
  it.
• 14:58
  Maybe
• 14:58
  you
• 14:58
  know
• 14:58
  that
• 14:59
  couple
• 14:59
  right
• 14:59
  now
• 14:59
  feels
• 15:00
  like
• 15:00
  they're
• 15:00
  always
• 15:00
  fighting
• 15:01
  about
• 15:01
  money.
• 15:02
  Share
• 15:02
  this
• 15:02
  episode
• 15:03
  with
• 15:03
  them.
• 15:03
  Let's.
• 15:03
  Let's
• 15:04
  spread
• 15:04
  this
• 15:04
  good
• 15:05
  news
• 15:05
  that
• 15:05
  there
• 15:05
  is
• 15:06
  a
• 15:06
  hope
• 15:06
  in
• 15:07
  this.
• 15:08
  Because
• 15:08
  this
• 15:08
  show's
• 15:08
  not
• 15:09
  about
• 15:09
  financial
• 15:09
  shame.
• 15:10
  It's
• 15:10
  about
• 15:10
  building
• 15:10
  wisdom,
• 15:11
  staying
• 15:12
  steady,
• 15:12
  being
• 15:13
  anchored
• 15:13
  in
• 15:13
  God,
• 15:14
  and
• 15:14
  truly
• 15:15
  becoming
• 15:15
  a
• 15:15
  financially
• 15:16
  confident
• 15:16
  Christian.
• 15:17
  God
• 15:17
  bless
• 15:17
  you,
• 15:17
  friend,
• 15:18
  and
• 15:18
  make
• 15:18
  sure
• 15:18
  you
• 15:18
  come
• 15:18
  back
• 15:18
  and
• 15:19
  join
• 15:19
  me
• 15:19
  on
• 15:19
  tomorrow's
• 15:20
  show.