Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / Two Jersey Js: Mom Fails & LOLs

Transcript

Two Jersey Js: Mom Fails & LOLs · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Hey, guys, it's Jackie Gulchnighter Jen Bessler, and we are
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: two Jersey j's. But we should tell you something.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Yes, we definitely should tell you something. It's actually not
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: going to be as dramatic as one would think. We
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: are still the best of friends.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: There's nothing.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: We got a lot of What happened. Jackie is Jackie
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: on her own. You're on your own. What happened between you?
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: I wish that I could say that it was that exciting.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: It really it's just not that exciting.
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I wish we could say. Actually I don't wish
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: we could say, but I mean I think a lot
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: of people wish we could say that we got in
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: a big, old nasty fight because Jen is friends with
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: people that I'm not friends with, and we got really
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: mad at each other over that. But hence that's just
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: not what happened. It didn't happen. We are just, you know,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: we got a lot to say, and so our own
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: voices are going to be highlighted in addition to two
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: Jersey jys. But nothing could ever take the place of
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: two Jersey jas because we have so much to tell
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: you guys and talk about, so.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: And there's just stuff that. I think there's stuff that
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Jackie really is dying to discuss that's personal to her.
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: There's some things that I want to discuss, and you
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: guys all know that Jackie has been through it and
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: written a book about it in terms of eating disorders
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: and her life, and so a lot of that is,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: you know, really more I think appropriate for her to
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: discuss with you guys. She could delve into some of that.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: I've had some stuff in my own life that you know,
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: I'd love to share with you.
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: You know. So Jenna and I were just talking about
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: how the weekend that just passed was the first weekend
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: that the show was not on, and I have to
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: say was a nice little break. I'm worrying because we
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: had been watching the show. When you guys watched the show,
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: we hadn't been seeing it in advance, so if there
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: were any surprises, we didn't know about them until they
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: popped up on our screen. So like the night that
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Thereesa said she was using me, my god, I sat
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: at my kitchen table eating and watch with my jaw
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: on the floor, and then my phone rang like four
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: hundred times. Oh gosh. So yeah, it's a nice it was.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: I was.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: I was with my three best friends from high school.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: I went to high school in Houston, Texas, so once
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: a year we get together. One of my friends has
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: a home on the eastern shore of Maryland, and it's
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: just so dreamy. And I want to say the weekend
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: was so separate from all things housewives, all things Jersey
• 2:29
  Speaker 2: in general, and it was such a respite. It was
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: such a nice few days of just you know, nothing
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: but old friends and laughs and you know, catching up.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: It was. It was really nice. Yeah, I've been spending
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: a lot of time in my real world, but anyway,
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: my real world involves a lot of children, Yes, a lot.
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: I've got a.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Lot of children. And so today's episode we were going
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: to talk about like the things that come along with
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: motherhood at this stage, like my kids are getting ready
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: to leave, your kids are out of the house, but
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: like still like in graduate school or like close to home,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: and like what we thought would be a little bit funnier,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: like what naturally came was like all of these memories
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: of and I think I'm a really really good mom,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: It's like my best thing, but like all these memories
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: of like parenting fails throughout the years.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Parenting fails, which we I think every mother has plenty
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: of those stories. I know that every mother has plenty
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: of those stories to tell unless they're really not self aware.
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: But if you have any self awareness, you know that
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: you're not always a perfect mom.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: But then also a couple we want to through in
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: a couple of our the things that we're most proud of.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Of course, and the things we miss and the things
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: that we don't miss. But parenting fails. You want me
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: to start, or you want to start.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: I want you to start, But before you start, I
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: do also want to say that as a mom, you
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: know of little kids, and I'm not that anymore, but
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: it was such a wonderful relief to hear about other
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: moms and what they were going through and not just
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: all the success, right, like to share the fails and
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: to you know, misery loves company or whatever that is,
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: but to get that kind of support. So I love
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: this topic because guess what, I'm now a parent of
• 4:13
  Speaker 2: a twenty four and twenty two year old, and I
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: can tell you there are still fails going on, might
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: be fails, and I'm sure my kids would love to
• 4:20
  Speaker 2: tell you about them.
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: But they're not here, so yeah, because everyone always tells
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: you loy enjoy every moment, and like, I just feel
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: like there's a whole lot of like no one talks
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: about the bad stuff. But anyway, so here we go.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: None of this stuff is really bad, Like at the
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: core of it, you love your children. Now it's just
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: your mess up sometimes, So okay, I'll start. Okay. So,
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: when Jonas and Aiden were not even two and a half,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: I gave birth to Hudson and Alexis. So I had
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: four kids under the age of three. And when Alexis
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: was a few weeks old, I took her with me
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: to pick up Jonas and Aiden from nursery school. And
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: they were in a twos program and she was just
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: a few weeks old, and I had not really been sleeping,
• 5:04
  Speaker 1: of course I had. I was changing thirty two diapers
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: a day. Oh my god, they were all fourign diapers,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: and you know, it was like roggy, you know. So
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: I go to pick them up and I saw this
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: older woman who I had I think she was somebody's
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: grandparent that I had always seen when I used to
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: go pick up my kids from the nursery school. And
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: I was waiting for the boys to get out of
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: their class. And she says to me, oh, you had
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: your babies. She says, what's her name? And I said, Alexis.
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: Now let me divert for a second. So in the
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Jewish religion, you don't name after. In Ashkenazi, you don't
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: name after people who are still alive, right, only the dead.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: My sister had four kids already, she named after everybody.
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: So by the time we got to my second set
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: of twins, everybody had been named after. So we chose
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: middle names that like, we didn't really just things that
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: we love, right right right. So Alexis's middle name is Harlow,
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: which I just love the name, zero connection to it.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: So she says to me, what's her name? I said, Alexis.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: She said what's her middle name? And I completely forgot
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: because the middle name didn't mean anything to us, you know,
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: Plus your head is scram scrambling, And I said, oh
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: my god, what do I do. Do I lie and
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: say it rose or do I say I forgot? So
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: I said, you know what, it's human. I said, oh
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: my goodness, I'm blanking. And instead of being like that's okay,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: you've got four babies, she goes, you forgot your own
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: child's middle name, and I felt so bad about myself.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: I would come back and I felt so bad. I
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: felt I said, oh my god, I'm the worst mother
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: in the world. How am I forgetting my child? Would like,
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: oh my god, I said. I said, I'm just I'm
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: so tired. And she's like, wow.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: She was like, I don't think I've ever asked a
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: mother her child's name for her Okay, so the kicker
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: I came home. A few weeks later, we had we
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: had company over and I was telling the story and
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Jonas and Aiden heard me. Yeah, you know, it wasn't
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: a few weeks later, it was like the next year.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: And they said, they said, well, what's her middle name?
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: And I said Harlow and they said it's Harlow. I said, yeah,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: you guys know that. They said, oh, I said, what'd
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: you think it was? They thought it was Carlos w Anyway,
• 7:37
  Speaker 1: I forgot my child's name. You know, why would they
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: think it was Carlos Harlow. They just couldn't. Before I
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: have introduced my daughter Rachel as Rachel Rose. That is
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: not her name. That is my niece's middle name. So
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: she's Rachel Faith.
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: But anyway, all right, So mine is the best news
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: about mine is that it's really about Jeff.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: So my son's in middle school and he is running
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: for president of the class, and I guess it's like
• 8:09
  Speaker 2: his You start middle school in what in sixth grade?
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: Sixth so it's like seventh grade, right, president of seven
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: whatever it is. So we are invested in this, right.
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: So we are making the posters, we are making the videos,
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: we are campaigning. We are all just in and it's
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: I brought my brethren because he's he's like an expert
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: in terms of like everything technical to make these videos.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: And we went overboard, way overboard, like it should have
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: been like, you know, Zach with a bunch of markers,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: all of us sitting around on the kitchen floor, you
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: know Zach for and said it was like way over
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: the top and really really sort of cringey. But anyway,
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: so he runs for president and he does not win. Okay,
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: he actually won the next year, but anyway, so he
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: doesn't win. So my husband, Jeff becomes so enraged, I
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: mean just so cringe. I can't stand it that he
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: calls the principal yeah okay, and he insists that the
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: election was rigged. No, I'm not kidding, this actually happened, Okay,
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: because the time so they took the votes, everybody turned
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: into kids, put their votes in their little ballot boxes,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: and they had the results so quickly that Jeff Vessel
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: was convinced they didn't have time to count them. No,
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: I can't even talk, I can't even actually say it
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: without shuddering.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: And their principle was the nicest guy. Okay.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: I didn't walk into that school for months. I was
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: so mortified. But worse than that is what he did
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: to my kid.
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: My son was so so embarrassed, embarrassed, like, are you
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: get a life like this is where this is called
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: getting too involved, dysfunctional relationships, no boundaries, All of that
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: rolled up into wine.
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: It's such a function of like loving your child so much,
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: being discompletely dysfunctional.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so, I mean, we definitely laugh about it now,
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: but that was definitely like it wasn't mine, but it
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: was a parental veil for sure.
• 10:04
  Speaker 1: I like that. So one year we planned a very
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: big trip to the Dominican Republic and we got to
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: the airport, bags packed, and I let two of their
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: passports expire and didn't realize it. So we are standing
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: in the airport with our bags all packed, and they're like,
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: your passport's expired. And I said, we just got this
• 10:35
  Speaker 1: five years ago. They said, yeah, kids are every five years.
• 10:38
  Speaker 1: I know that adults are every ten years, but kids
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: are every five years. And I didn't know that. So
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: my kids are all absolutely hysterical crying. I'm going to
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: go home. I don't want to go home. I said, guys,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: we're in an airport. We're going to figure it out.
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: And I looked at everyone like this is on you too,
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: Like I just did it to be one. But like
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: I do, like take responsibility for that kind of stuff,
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: Like I'm always like I'll take care of that. I'll
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: take care of that. I know, I let our passports expire.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: I mean a deposit, it was. It was a disaster. Sucks.
• 11:16
  Speaker 2: But if that's a fail, I need we need more time.
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: We have to extend episodes worse.
• 11:21
  Speaker 2: Okay, you go all right, So I'll tell you about
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: one because I think that it's important also to talk
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: about ones that are not necessarily funny. Yeah, they're just
• 11:29
  Speaker 2: you know, things that that I wish that I had
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: done differently. So before kindergarten at at our school, at
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: our elementary school in Upper Settle River, the kids get
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: tested for kindergarten, and if they qualify for something called
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: junior kindergarten, they get into a year where it's almost
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: like like a repeat of I guess nursery school almost
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: like it just they just they get tested to see
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: if they're ready for that next step. Right, So all
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: of the parents that I know, junior kindergarten is like
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: a gift in our district. It's such a great thing,
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: right because the ability for some kids that are not
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: quite there yet to have another year to develop before
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: kindergarten is great.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: So both my kids were really really little in stature,
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: and they were both late in terms of the like
• 12:22
  Speaker 2: what is it called like like they were both born
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: la cut off by the cut off right now, so
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: they would have been like both of they're both like
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: some amongst the youngest in their class. Anyway. So Rachel
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: goes through the testing and they say to me, know
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: what she qualifies. She could she could go you know,
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: junior k Really she's like developmentally, she was always very
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: very behind little in stature and because she was diagnosed
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: with Type one diabetes and needed growth hormone. There were
• 12:51
  Speaker 2: always there was always stuff right, And instead of embracing
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: this extra help that I was being offered, I went
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: into I think, what was my Mama bear bs, like,
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: don't tell me that my daughter is not ready for
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: kindergarten and she knows her letters and her numbers better
• 13:11
  Speaker 2: than Zach did at that age, and just this whole
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: like defensive ridiculousness and said, I'm not she's going into kindergarten.
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: She did fine in kindergarten, made friends. I also was
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: very attached to the idea that she had already made
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: friends in nursery school and that now she was not
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: going to be able to, you know, be with that
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: group of friends she was in nursery school. Okay, this
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: is like where I went. And so I ignored this, this
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: gift that I was being offered and pushed her into
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: into kindergarten.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: Oh you didn't even take it.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: I didn't take it, thank you, and all about my
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: BS and my ego and my Mama Bear and my
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: kid and not really like listening to this is what
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: your kid needs? More worried about you know me, I think,
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: And I don't need a kid that's going to be
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: just complete and utter nonsense. I wish she wished sometimes
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: that you were. I wish that I was my age then, right,
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: raising this little kindergartener. I mean, she did fine, but
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: I think it would have been such a fabulous gift
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: to have given her. And you know, kids, they just
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: mature at different times. We're here to talk about it.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: She again, she did fine, But like you know, I
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: think that sometimes being one of the oldest in the
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: grade comes along with a lot of advantages as well.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: It's sometimes hardest to be so young and so little. Anyway,
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: So there's one for the list. The list is long,
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: and there's one you know. It's the ego.
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: The ego, and if I could get rid of my ego,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: I think I'd have so much more peace in my life.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: And I'm working on her now because I do think
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: sometimes because of how I think they'll make me feel
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: and appear, but not because they're authentically, of course, what
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I want. But a yes, that's another topic. So here's
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: one that breaks the fourth wall on our show a
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: little bit. It's from years ago, though we're not recording
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: a really really long time ago, so one year this
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: might have been like my second season on the show. Yeah,
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: it was, And so it was twenty nineteen. Hudson and
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Alexis were only they were eight years old at the time.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: And during the season we had filmed, it was cold
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: out and I was taking a ride to my father's house,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: who lives like an hour away, and Hudson and Alexis
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: were with me. So when it came time for the
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: show to air, sometimes there's things called pickups, right where
• 15:43
  Speaker 1: like if a line got like muffled on the microphone,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: they didn't hear it, it was important. They asked you
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: to do it again. Right. So they had called me
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: and it was now like July, and they said, we
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: need you to we couldn't hear or this one line.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: It's very important so that people understand why you were
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: going to your dad's house. We need you to refilm
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: that scene. Said great, fine, They said the kids were
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: with you. I said, all right, I'll make sure they're available.
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: They said, okay, so you're gonna have to drive your
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: car on the highway. This is They sent me a
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: picture and said this is what the kids were wearing.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: I said, okay. So the kids had been in big
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: winter coats and you know, like heavy, heavy clothes and
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: big winter coats and like cats. And it was now July.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: So I said, okay, do they have to they have
• 16:32
  Speaker 1: to wear these coats and they were like yeah. So
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: I'm getting Hudson and Alexis and they're like, why are
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: we wearing this?
• 16:38
  Speaker 5: It's so hot out.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: It's so hot, and I was like, listen, we'll blast
• 16:41
  Speaker 1: the air conditioning in the car. We just have to
• 16:43
  Speaker 1: do this. It's it's not going to be that long.
• 16:45
  Speaker 1: We have to get on the highway. They're going to
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: be filming us on the highway. It's fine. And they
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: were like all right. So we get in the car
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: and I put the air conditioning all the way up
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: because it's like a hundred degrees in the car, and
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: they were like, so we have to shut the air
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: because we can't hear you.
• 16:59
  Speaker 5: So I'm on the highway because my kids aren't miserable
• 17:03
  Speaker 5: and are dying of heat, and they're both zipped up
• 17:07
  Speaker 5: into a massive face winter jackets in like a hundred
• 17:13
  Speaker 5: degrees with no air conditioning on and the windows all
• 17:16
  Speaker 5: the way up, and I was like, I am the
• 17:19
  Speaker 5: worst mother in the world right now. They could not
• 17:22
  Speaker 5: understand what we were doing. Why we were wearing winter
• 17:25
  Speaker 5: coats in July.
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: I felt so Jackie, that would have kept me up.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I would have definitely gone to town on myself
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: for that one up good. Yes, I know that they did.
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: They're here to talk about it. Okay, how about this one?
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: Another ego, one that I look back on and think, oh,
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: JENNI forget a life. So again, Rachel was really really
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: small until she was now she's five five, but anyway, Uh,
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: she took dance at this place called Studio L, and
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: all of her friends took dance there and there was
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: something there, so you paid for dance class were you
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: always paid for dance, But then if they were really good,
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: they got into something called company, So you know what
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: I'm talking about. Okay. So Company was this competitive. It's
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: kind of a league, right, it was, and all the
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: girls wanted to be in it, and it meant that
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: you were now going to compete. It wasn't just that
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: you were going there, you know, a couple times a
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: week and then at the end of it there was
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: going to be a recital. It was going to be
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: that you guys, you know, the Studio L was going
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: to compete against other dance companies. Blah blah blah. Some
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: of these girls do it all through high school. It's
• 18:34
  Speaker 2: you know, it's this sort of almost like a lifestyle. Well,
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: Rachel didn't make company. Oh I shudder at this crap. Yeah,
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: God forbid that my baby girl had to be disappointed?
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: Were here a no? I mean this is actually, as
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: we're talking about this, there's like a theme going on
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: in my life. So I she was away at Sleepwoy
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: camp and I found out she didn't make company. I'm
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: actually like grossed out at myself as I'm saying this.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: I've marched myself.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Jack.
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: Okay, I marched myself into that dance school and her
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: friends in meet it, And I was like, how do
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: you do that to a kid? All the friends she
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: is hanging out with, they're all moving on now the company.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: Except for Rachel. This is all she's wanted. And in
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: terms of like not all want it, but in terms
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: of you know, studio l and it's just it's not right.
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: And I guess I was loud enough. Jennifer, Yes, and
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: you did your duty. Except that's done. Great, except that
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: Rachel didn't like it. Oh yeah, she didn't like it.
• 19:38
  Speaker 2: She didn't like it. She never liked it. She's like,
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: she didn't like the chore Mom, I don't like the choreography.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: The choreography. Like second thought, well, I think we put
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: down a certain amount of money for a company and
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: it's just so cringey. I can't stand it. And then
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: Rachel is like, you know, like any kid would be,
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: I don't want this.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: I don't like it.
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: I don't even like it. Before I one company, I
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: don't like dance. I'm not taking to dance anymore. Okay,
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: except I made a full I mean, you know, just
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: like there's definitely a theme here.
• 20:12
  Speaker 1: Okay. So so when my kids were when Jonas and
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Naden were potty training, so they potty trained, they were fine.
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: They were three years old. They were now out of diapers,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: and I took them to the Carter's store in Edgewater and, uh,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: we're in there the outlet. Was it an outlet store? No,
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: it wasn't, but it was big and we used to
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: like shop there all the time. Got him sort of
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: missed those days. But anyway, so Jonah says to me,
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: I gotta make a peepee. So I said, all right,
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: hold on, let me put this shirt down. And I'm
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: going to find the lady and we'll ask where the
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: bathroom is. And I put the shirt down and I
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: turned around and he took a big piss in the
• 20:53
  Speaker 1: middle store.
• 20:54
  Speaker 5: So I didn't know what to do. He just whipped
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: it out and pissed in the middle stone. So I
• 21:01
  Speaker 5: think that's so I did so do and I like
• 21:04
  Speaker 5: froze because I always try to do the right thing.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: And I just grabbed them both and I ran and
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: I ran out of the store and I got into
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: my car put them in my car, and I said,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: what do I do? What do I do? So I
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: call the store and they were like, Carters, how can
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: I help you? I said, Hi, I was just in
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: there with my children, and I'm really, really so sorry,
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: but my son had to go to the bathroom and
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: he peede in the middle of the store.
• 21:27
  Speaker 5: And she's like, oh, thank you for telling us.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: Don't worry. It happens all the time. And I was like, really,
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: you have kids just piss it all over the store
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: to stop. Not so much with Carters, right, I couldn't
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: tell if I felt I think she was just trying
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: to make me feel good.
• 21:42
  Speaker 5: I can't imagine that people are just urinating on the
• 21:44
  Speaker 5: carpeting there.
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: But it made me feel a little bit better. But
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: my god, I was so humiliated, but also like I
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: felt really bad that I had like just left.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: But then again, like what was I going to do?
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Just going to complete nutter brain melting?
• 21:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like I just they didn't know what to do.
• 22:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, all right, So the next one I have, I
• 22:04
  Speaker 2: hope a lot of you guys can relate to. And
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: I'm past it. It's about Halloween, and in my town,
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: Halloween was one of the most stressful days.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Of the year.
• 22:12
  Speaker 2: It still is, by the way, It's just horrible. And
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: so I was so invested in, like what my kids,
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: who were they trick or treating with? Where were they
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: going to be? I look back at it so sad.
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: I was always just so worried that they would be
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: at the right place, you know, on the right block,
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: have friends around them. When I say right, I don't
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: mean be at the right place, I just mean be
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: somewhere where, you know, they had their friends and they
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: were having fun and they were interacting with other kids.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: And it was such torture, I think, and all of
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: my friends we talk about it now that the kids
• 22:56
  Speaker 2: are grown you know, the panic and then the throwing
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: of the Halloween parties and you know the I mean
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: it was this was probably a hope, more of a
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: stress on me than it was on them. But I
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: do remember, like every Halloween, just absolutely dreading it. And
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: also you know the thing it's called what is it
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: when you put the bag of candy down, you run
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: away like ghosting?
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: Ghosting?
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, the hell that is ghosting? Right, and
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: all of the mothers like trying to get all of
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: the kids into their cars. And I don't know, I
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: just if I had to do it differently today, I
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: hope that my kids didn't feel the pressure of it,
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: but I would have just said to my you know,
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: fifty six year old self, let it go. I mean,
• 23:41
  Speaker 2: but honestly, like some of that still remains with adults.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: I know a lot of adults still stuck in that
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: shit of the I'm going to have a party and
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: you're not invited of course, or like this is who
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: like the cool people are, Like, I know a lot
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: of older pople are still doing that kind of shit. Well,
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: I can tell I can say this to you, okay,
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: And this is some thing that I definitely learned. This
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: is actually the thing that I want to say the
• 24:04
  Speaker 2: most in terms of like this episode and something that
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: I think is so important. And my therapist taught me this.
• 24:09
  Speaker 2: So my kids went in and out of having a
• 24:12
  Speaker 2: ton of friends, and the next year they didn't have
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: as many friends. Like all kids. Sometimes I was like
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: there were times where they were just completely you know,
• 24:18
  Speaker 2: alone on the weekend, and I would be so concerned
• 24:22
  Speaker 2: and I would say to them, well, Rach, why don't
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: you call whatever homever? Why don't you do this? Why
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: don't you do that? And that was so I learned
• 24:36
  Speaker 2: now and I think now it was just the wrong
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: tact to take. So when your kid is being left
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: out or their home and other kids are out, especially
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: in this age of social media, like they know it.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: They're not stupid, they know that there are you know,
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: their peers are out doing things and they're sitting home
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: for whatever reason. And I would harp on them like,
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: what are you doing tonight? Well, why don't you call
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: this one? Why don't you call that one? What that does,
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: I've learned is creates a situation where they think that
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: you think that they're a loser. They think that like
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: the home has to be their safe place.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: I learned.
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: And this is again after doing this where I was
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: just telling you guys about Halloween, but like, say nothing.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: I would say to all, if there are mothers listening
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: that have young kids, and do what you want. I'm
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: not an expert, but I'm telling you this is how
• 25:22
  Speaker 2: I feel now after years and years of therapy and
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: raising kids and all of that.
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: Not a word.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: Keep it to yourself because they should not have to
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: worry not only about the fact that they don't feel
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: great about the fact that they're home alone, but now
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: their mom notices that there's something wrong with them and
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: that I guess that's all wrapped up in like you know,
• 25:45
  Speaker 2: Halloween and where you're doing.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: What are you going?
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Did you make plans with your friends? Like if I
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: had to do it all over again, I would say
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: completely quiet.
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: I think like some of that is just our own
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: insecurities playing out on our kids because you don't want
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: to feel.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: Like, well, that's the trick right to a healthy One
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: of the tricks to I think a healthy relationship with
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: your kids is that to understand that they're not you,
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: that there's like there's a separation between they're not they
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: are not you. They came through you, but they're not you,
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: and let them have that.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: And you know, it's funny because I've been made fun
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: of for my fomo when I really I don't have
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: that much fomo. But I've been made fun of, yes,
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: And I can see which of my kids have fomo
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: and which of them don't. And I have two that like,
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: if you are opening an envelope, they need to be there.
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: But I have two that like really don't care at
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: all what else is going on, Like they just want
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: to do their thing. And so it's funny, like I
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: wish the fomo ones didn't have as much fomo, but
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: like I see the way that they're like me in
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: some ways, you know.
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: But even if they have, if they have it, just
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: I wish that I had let them know that I
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: didn't have it right for I have a friend who
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: I just think is the greatest mother, my friend Jody,
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: And she said that her daughters had jomo joy of
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: missing yeah ev and said that, and I just loved that,
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: like there were just you know.
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: No one loves sitting there ass on a couch on
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: a weekend night more than my husband. He loves it.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: He does go out a lot because I make him
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: make him but he likes it. Sometimes. I like sitting
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: on my ass all the time, but he's a lot
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: of body pain. He starts to complain after like two
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: hours at a restaurant. He's like, not comfortable for him. Okay.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: So I one year forgot to get a birthday present
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: for a kid. So I was like, you know what,
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: Like it's the same thing as a gift card. I'm
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: just going to give them cash, right Like kids love cash.
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: It's more exciting. No one here has ever done that.
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: I've never opened a birthday card with my kid and
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: like ever seen cash in there. So I put in
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: some cash. So the next day, the mom texts me
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: and she's like hey, She's like, did you mean to
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: give my kid cash? And I was like yeah. She's like, oh,
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: it's just funny. I've just never gotten cash before. I
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: just wanted to make sure you meant it. It's a
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: funny gift. And I was like, why is it a
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: funny gift. She's like, because I just put it in
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: my pocket and book groceries. I was like, okay, but
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: that's not what the point of it was. And I
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: was like, oh my god. I am the worst?
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: Why does that make you the worst? I can't any
• 28:22
  Speaker 2: mother that called me and asked me why it made
• 28:24
  Speaker 2: me like it was a weird thing. I think, like
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: they're the worst.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: Would you ever call a mother and shame them from me? No,
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: I don't know if groceries thanks even more?
• 28:35
  Speaker 1: I don't know, big gift your kids. I don't have
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: that many more. I have half days that I've forgotten
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: where the teacher has called me and been like, hi,
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: everything okay, and I'd be like, yeah, just out and
• 28:45
  Speaker 1: about They're like, okay, today was a half day, so
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: we have we have your son waiting here. I had,
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: I used to have, well I still do. I think
• 28:57
  Speaker 1: porto potties are the most disgusting things on earth. I'd
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: rather piss out my ear than go into a porta potty,
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: okay literally. And one year at I was out with
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: Alexus and there was no other option and she had
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: to peace so bad and the porta potty that we
• 29:11
  Speaker 1: went into was vile and I wasn't going to let
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: her sit on it. She was a little girl, she
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: was like five years old, and I didn't know what
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: to do, so I said, I'm going to hold you
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: up at a crouching position and you're going to be
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: And we were like that in the porta potty, holding
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: her like, you know, like scooping her up and she's
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: in the air. We're hovering, I'm crouched and she's like
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: I can't, like she probably cat, I can't. I'm holding
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: her there and I'm.
• 29:37
  Speaker 5: Like, you can't sit on this.
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: See.
• 29:40
  Speaker 5: Oh god, it was the worst experience. She was crying.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: I was crying, vile.
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: Ugh. I don't know if that was really a mistake
• 29:47
  Speaker 2: on your partner.
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: Now. It was just like I didn't know what to do.
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: There's so many times I didn't know what to of course,
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: it's scary. It is so scary being when there especially
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: well no that's not true. It's scary. It's always scary.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: What do you miss? What do I miss? You know?
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: We talked about this a little bit in previous episodes,
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: But like, I'm not that mom that's sitting around my
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: house that is like now that my daughter is actually
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: moving out in a week, she's moving into the city,
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: I'm not the mom Like if they're good, I'm good.
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: Like when they're happy. I really like empty nesting and
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: that's not to say I look at pictures of them.
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: Jeff can't even look at pictures of the kids when
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: they were young, like we were trying to get there. They're
• 30:27
  Speaker 2: a bought Mitzvah montages together, and you get all of
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: For those of you who you know don't know about that,
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: it's like you get all of these pictures and video
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: from when they were little, and you put on this
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: big slide show and it's Jeff couldn't look literally get
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: a walk out of the room. He even seeing them
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: younger now, he can't look at pictures sell become.
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: Safe from my brother. I didn't have a bot metza
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: a bar mitza a butte. Sorry, but everyone's bought Mitzvah
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: and bar Mitzvah montage was set to Paul Anka's Good
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: Morning Yesterday. Yeah, and even hearing the.
• 30:58
  Speaker 2: Song thanks you cry well, I can't even now looking
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: and especially the video is hard for me because I
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: just missed those people. They're not those people anymore. They're
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: not those babies.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: It's called the times of our life. Sorry. Oh, so
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: you know that song right? Good morning yes today? Yes,
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: I know that song. I know. Sorry, my voice is
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: absolutely horrific.
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: Well, so anyway, So it's hard to for me to
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: but I am. I'm okay with my kids getting older
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: and I'm still making mistakes, so yeah, all the time,
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: and different types of mistakes. I think that it's a
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: very hard thing like now in terms of trying to
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: figure out, like how to help them financially, what's that
• 31:40
  Speaker 2: line I want them to stand on their own. People
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: have different ideas about that. It's like, there's so many
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: different things now that I screw up. But I screwed
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: all those things that I screwed up back in the day.
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: It was just everything felt like everything I did wrong
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: felt like everything. Yeah, And that's another thing I think
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: that I would give myself. I wish I'd given myself
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: more grace. I know it's not an easy thing, yeah,
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: you know, and I.
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: Try not to be a yeller, but there were times
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: I remember yelling at my kids and just feeling so bad.
• 32:09
  Speaker 1: I mean, like you say things in the heat of
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: the moment, and you just.
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: Remember, like yelling in the car because the mornes were
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: so crazy right before kiss and drop, And there were
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: a couple of times where for whatever reason, and my
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: kids would cry and then they had to get out
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: of the car to go to school for kiss and
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: that was that. My day was over. I was so
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: sick to my stomach. And then you call the teacher,
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: you know, and their eyes are all puffy.
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: And.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, the worst not even don't look.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: Like you're crying the fact that they were going in
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: and then you just oh, horrible, you guys, if you're
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: raising little ones, I don't know what to tell you.
• 32:42
  Speaker 1: I happened. I mean, they had a way of pushing
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: your limits, you know, and you're all we all make mistakes.
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: I'm guessing that every single mother looks back and thinks
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: I missed the mark there, And you know, there were
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: other ones again that were just not funny. I mean,
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: my daughter was diagnosed with type one diabetes when she
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: was twelve years old, and just that whole initial period,
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: the whole initial year was so scary, so over the top,
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: difficult to accept to deal with. Our lives completely changed,
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: and I wish that I had even then. You know,
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: I would never beat myself up for this because it's
• 33:17
  Speaker 2: a very hard thing and we all did the best
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: possible that we did the best we could, but looking back,
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: I wish that I had. I don't have gotten her
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: on the pump quicker. There's always going to be that stuff.
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: I just think it's nice that to be able to
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: share it and also share the good decisions that we made.
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so tell me what.
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm the most proud of this,
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: but something I'm so proud of is the fact that
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: I hiited. So Jackie and I are being that we're Jewish.
• 33:47
  Speaker 2: A lot of Jewish parents send their kids to sleep
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: Boy Camp. I don't know if everyone listening, you know,
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: knows about that, but sleep Boy Camp is in the summer,
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: lasts about seven and a half weeks, depending I guess
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: on where you're from. And the kids started when they
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: were young, like eight years old, and a lot of mothers.
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: I don't think Jackie your kids did it.
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: No, we don't tease way, Okay.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: So for my kids, I feel like it was the
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: best gift I could have given them. Not for all kids,
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: and probably more for my son even than my daughter,
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: but they it was such it's a hard thing to do.
• 34:19
  Speaker 2: It's a very hard thing when they're young to say Okay,
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: bye bye baby, I'll see you in seven and a
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: half weeks. There's a visiting day. That sucks. There's so
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: much anxiety around it. You know, there are so many mothers.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: There were so many mothers in the community that didn't
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: do it, that didn't understand. There's just a lot around that.
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: But if I'm looking at, you know, my parenting, and
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: I think about the things that really help my kids
• 34:42
  Speaker 2: and the ways in which they they grew and developed
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: self confidence, and I just think for me, for us,
• 34:50
  Speaker 2: sleep Boy Camp was everything. And they have these friends.
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: Even now my son is friends with his sleep Boy
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: like living in the city and there's like four of
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: them and they're together once a week. You know, it's
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: just a nice and they became independent again. I know
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: you didn't do that, Jack, So I'm not trying to
• 35:05
  Speaker 2: say one is right or what. But the night kids
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: and our life that was, like I'm very proud of that.
• 35:10
  Speaker 1: So there's there's a thing at sleep Boy Camp on
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: visiting Day that I've seen on obviously on like Facebook
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: and Instagram where all the parents wait until like they
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: open up like the there's like a timer. Yeah, they're
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: running on the running of the Jews. Yeah, and then
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: you running of the Jews and then you can run
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: to say Okay, I want to know how hard you
• 35:27
  Speaker 1: trained for that running, Like.
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's a great that's such a good question. It's
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: not that I trained, but the first year we went,
• 35:32
  Speaker 2: So you bring candy?
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: Did you have so much chex?
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: I don't understand the first visiting day, so you bring candy,
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: well all that my son was there at that point,
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: but you bring like candy and toys and whatever. Visiting
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: day in a blanket because you park yourself under a
• 35:43
  Speaker 2: tree with the kids. You go see their activities and
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: you sit around, you eat sandwiches and whatever you do.
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: So I'm getting on. We get a park in this
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: parking lot and then take the bus to the camp.
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: So all the parents are parking in this parking lot.
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: I had a suitcase filled with stuff for my kids.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: So I'm getting up on this bus okay, and my
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: sister and her kids are too, and we're taking these suitcases.
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: Imagine having a suitcase filled with candy and food. And
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: the other parents are looking at me, and I'm looked
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: right into the bus and I was like, don't judge.
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: And the entire bust little parents started cracking up because
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: it was so it just was so over the top
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: and your blood is like getting rushing and your adrenaline
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: is going Just to see.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: The anxiety alone, I don't know if I could do it,
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: you know, Evan, and I'm not right for everyone. We've
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: been watching the latest season of The Amazing Race, and
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: he's always like, one day we'll do this together, and
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't either watch it. I have so
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: much anxiety. Are you kidding? Like, oh my god, Because
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I'm really good at puzzles and games and stuff like that,
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: but I don't think that. I think that I would
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: just have a total meltdown once I'm like pitted. I
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: don't like competing. I don't because I don't like to lose,
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: and I know you don't.
• 36:52
  Speaker 2: You're not.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: Just get a little bit like crazy, Yeah, you know
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: I get that. I am very proud of my kids manners.
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: I think highlighted by this one story in particular, maybe
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: a year ago, I had some I won't say which son,
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: so no one could figure out which friend. I had
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: some of my son's friends in the car and we
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: were driving, and all of a sudden, they all started
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: laughing and having an argument over who farted, and I
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: thought it was so rude to fart in someone else's
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: mom's car, and it smelled. It didn't smell like my kids,
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: like I know how my kids wan smell. And it
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: was so vile that I had to breathe in another
• 37:38
  Speaker 1: child's guess. And it's one of my pet peas. By
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: the way, one of the joke about New Jersey gets
• 37:45
  Speaker 1: so angry about that New Jersey is the only state
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: where when someone farts in the car you roll up
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: the windows. I cannot anyway, I was so like, I
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: thought I was one of the rudest things to do
• 37:58
  Speaker 1: to another mother. Obviously, I didn't say anything to the kid.
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: I didn't know which kid it was. And then when
• 38:02
  Speaker 1: they had all gotten out of the car, I said
• 38:04
  Speaker 1: to my son, don't ever do that to another mother,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: And he was like, I never would, and I'm sorry,
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry that happened. Like they understand, you know, they're
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: always pleased, thank you. They understand. You know, Listen, kids
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: mess up too, They're not always you know, perfect. They
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: have a deeper sense of empathy. I think because of
• 38:23
  Speaker 1: my brother. They've grown up with a disabled uncle. They
• 38:26
  Speaker 1: know the stories from my childhood of how mean people
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: were to him and what it means, and I think
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: they would because of that. They're never like cruel to anybody,
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: especially like somebody who is disabled. They always like try to,
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: you know, be a friend. But their manners are really good,
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: which I don't see all the time. I love that,
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: yeah too, But let's see, I'll tell you something. I
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: don't miss anything in the middle of the night. I
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: always freaking hated that, like waking up in the middle
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: waking up in the middle of the night to clean
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: up your son from getting like sick to their sch
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: oh my kids spoke that was time. That was not
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: peeling off sheets at three in the morning. There is
• 39:06
  Speaker 1: nothing worse. There's nothing worse. Yes, putting sunscreen on my
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: kids the worst.
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: Now we're just talking about the stuff that sucks, not stuff. No, no, no,
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: that's the stuff I don't miss. Listen, Parenting is hard.
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: And because I was, Jeff was always working late. Like
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: we didn't have we weren't that family that had dinner
• 39:26
  Speaker 2: together around the table.
• 39:27
  Speaker 1: We didn't have dinner together around the table. We just
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: didn't be ause my kids always go That's another thing
• 39:31
  Speaker 1: I feel really bad about. I've been shamed about that
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: that didn't have dinner. No no, no about us not
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: eating family dinners. So we do when we can, but
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: it usually was like once or twice and we didn't
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: and we couldn't. And there's always kids with their activities
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: and then the practices and my kids like to eat
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: at six and I like to eat it sapt thirty
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: eight like it just it did never really happen.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: We so because my because Jeff is always working late,
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: and my friend Bonnie's husband was always working late. We
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: say we were sister wives. We raised like five kids together.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: So it was either at her house or at my house,
• 40:06
  Speaker 2: and one of us was bathing and one of us
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: was cooking, one of us was which was actually looking
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: at it was it was really I mean I look
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: back those days, Yeah it was. It was really cool.
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: But these kids were eating at the island. Two of
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: them were eating at the table, the others were running
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: around like it.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: Wasn't they all survived and it was like.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: The four of us around the table, how is your day?
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: I do know a couple of my friends who were
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: able to pull that off.
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: It was not us. Yeah, I know what. You grow
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: up watching all these movies and like every freaking night,
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: these families are having dinner together, and they're all like dress.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, it's in pajamas and like they're having in
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: It's not just dinner. It's a beautiful dinner and there's
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: salad and a wooden bowl with the wooden past the potatoes.
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: Was you like a glass of milk potatoes?
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: I have somebody reaching like putting their half their body
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: on top of the potatoes and ours.
• 40:53
  Speaker 2: The other thing is no, this is not really I'm
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: not really sorry about this, but there were a lot
• 40:56
  Speaker 2: of chicken nuggets in my kid's life. McDonald's ones, do
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: the Purdue ones, the baked pons. I just couldn't deal
• 41:02
  Speaker 2: with it. They would not eat. They were so picky.
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: I'm just like, all right.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: Jonas actually didn't want to swallow for the first few
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: years of his life. I know. It was a really
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: bad I had to take him for food therapy. He
• 41:13
  Speaker 1: didn't like the sensory, the feeling of solid food going
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: down his throat. He was scared of chewing and everything.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: So we Yeah, it was a really big thing. I mean,
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: on top of all the other big things going on
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: to have four kids like basically the same.
• 41:28
  Speaker 2: I have friends who've had very big eating issues, very
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: he was in food therapy for a long time. He
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: had baby food until he was like five years. I
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: have a friend whose son still is very, very picky,
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: but it was one of my oldest maybe my oldest friend.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: I just remember. She would only eat peanut butter and ants.
• 41:44
  Speaker 2: She would sit on the cur ants, sit on the
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: p and eat ants the bugs.
• 41:48
  Speaker 1: My friend.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I won't say her name, but if she's listening,
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: she'll know who she is. Peanut butter and ants and
• 41:53
  Speaker 2: that's did that make her say? I don't remember. I
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: just remember, like this is a person. Like our mothers
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: were best friends, so we were literally like you know,
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: from the time, and then we moved away, but we
• 42:02
  Speaker 2: reconnected happily and years and years later, and I just
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: we laugh about it because like you couldn't get her
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: to eat anything and apparently appealed to her.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: Wow. Gross. But yeah, yeah, yeah, no, Now he eats
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: like I have no idea where it goes. But you know,
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: just on that note, it's maybe I shouldn't say this.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: I don't like to give tips. It's not a tip.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: But when I was really, really aner exic, sometimes I
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: would eat baby food. It was so bad. That's sad. Yeah,
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: it was terrible, but it's you know, like there's nothing
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: to it. It's so light, like it made him feel comfortable,
• 42:34
  Speaker 1: but eventually he got there.
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: Listen, I mean, most stuff is all in passing.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: Most stuff.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: I wish it's funny because I don't know exactly who
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: listens in terms of demographics, but if any of you
• 42:46
  Speaker 2: young moms are listening, like, please believe me, it all passes.
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: Nothing is as I know some things are, but a
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: lot of things are just not as intense and serious
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: as they feel at the time, you know.
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like look at I was looking back, you know,
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: when I was preparing for this, and like all of
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: those like things that I thought were like either disasters
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: or the biggest things, like I don't even remember them. Yeah,
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: you know, and if we could talk about the show
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: for one second, it's like the same thing. Like I
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: had a bad ending of this season, and I said
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: to a few people I'm really close to, including you,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: like I've just had so much more than this, Like
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: I don't want this to be my legacy, you know,
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: and everyone was like, of course not, like this is
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: right now, and then it passes, just like everything else.
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: I wish it as we got older, things we could
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: where the world is an expression, where the world like
• 43:44
  Speaker 2: a loose garment. Oh I like that, but it's not
• 43:47
  Speaker 2: an easy thing to do. And yeah, it's true. What
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: do you think that in you know, a year from
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: now you're going to be focusing it'll just be something else.
• 43:54
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, I know everything in.
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: The open, this microcosm of reality TV is you know,
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: it's a different thing. It's a different animal. And listen,
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: you've been at it much longer than I have. It
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: takes a lot.
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah. But even this whole thing about like me and
• 44:10
  Speaker 1: you fighting, I yeah, I think it's funny obviously because
• 44:15
  Speaker 1: we know the truth. But like, it's just I don't
• 44:18
  Speaker 1: know if everybody just wants more drama so that they
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: can have I can't.
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: Even begrudge anyone that because probably as a viewer, I
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: was like very wrapped up in oh my god, this one,
• 44:27
  Speaker 2: because it's not like I don't really know these people
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: show and I do like a reality it feeds into
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: that part of you that loves drama and still does.
• 44:38
  Speaker 2: I mean I watch the other shows and I'm like,
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: oh my god, I won't even name names.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: I know we both know, Yes, I don't think there's
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: that many other shows on right now. Yes, anyway, I
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: am very grateful that you and I are still so
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: am I And this was fun ye trip down memorily,
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: It certainly was, And I actually loved this episode. Yeah,
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: I hope if any of you younger moms are listening,
• 45:04
  Speaker 1: that you know definitely made you feel a little less alone.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: I think I can't believe that I didn't think of
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: the yelling at one, because there's so many times I
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: just yelled way too much.
• 45:14
  Speaker 2: And yeah, welcome, yeah, welcome, kiss and drop.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: But everyone's good now, everyone's thriving, growing right, Yes, so
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: we did something right.
• 45:24
  Speaker 2: Okay, well listen. I don't know if it was us
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: or them. Yea combo combo. Yeah, my friends, thank you
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: so much for listening, and.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: We will see you next you next time. Bye bye,