Latest / The World of Phil Hendrie / Episode #3963 The New Phil Hendrie Show Radio Archive January 2004

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Episode #3963 The New Phil Hendrie Show Radio Archive January 2004 · The World of Phil Hendrie

0:00
Speaker 1: Welcome, folks, to another Radio Archive Hour. And this is from,
0:04
Speaker 1: I believe it's 2005. Let me just double check if
0:07
Speaker 1: you don't mind.
0:08
Speaker 2: Yeah, you do that, bud.
0:10
Speaker 3: It is.
0:11
Speaker 2: What are you doing, man?
0:12
Speaker 1: I dropped my glasses. He doesn't wear glasses, folks. Anyway,
0:14
Speaker 1: this is Vernon Dozier. It's from the year 2004, January.
0:17
Speaker 1: And he's talking about going to the Super Bowl. Even
0:20
Speaker 1: though his baby is going to be, his grandson is
0:22
Speaker 1: going to be born prematurely. His wife wants him to
0:25
Speaker 1: be at the hospital. His daughter wants to be at
0:26
Speaker 1: the hospital. His son-in-law that he hates wants to be
0:28
Speaker 1: at the hospital. He wants to be watching the Super Bowl.
0:31
Speaker 1: He feels it's unfair. He thinks God's messing with him.
0:34
Speaker 2: He thinks... You just went meth. I know.
0:36
Speaker 1: He thinks God's messing with him and he thinks God's
0:39
Speaker 1: making a monkey out of him.
0:41
Speaker 2: You know, this show of ours, I wouldn't.
0:43
Speaker 1: Say this goes dark, but it's very uncomfortable to hear
0:46
Speaker 1: Vernon bitching about not seeing the Super Bowl with what's
0:50
Speaker 1: going on with his daughter and his Grandson, I better.
0:53
Speaker 2: Just get out and get into the hour, okay? Yeah,
0:55
Speaker 2: here it is. Jesus. And we've been talking about the
0:58
Speaker 2: birth of your grandson. What is his name?
1:01
Speaker 3: His name is Dylan Connor Boyle.
1:04
Speaker 2: And he was born premature at what?
1:06
Speaker 3: Yes, he was at a little over two pounds. He
1:10
Speaker 3: was born about ten weeks premature.
1:13
Speaker 2: How is he doing?
1:14
Speaker 3: Well, right now they have him in... He is critical.
1:18
Speaker 3: And this weekend my wife... I want to go down
1:20
Speaker 3: to St. Luke's and be with my daughter and my
1:22
Speaker 3: son-in-law and my other daughter who's driven in from San
1:24
Speaker 3: Diego with her husband. And I tell you, as I
1:27
Speaker 3: was mentioning, my wife Alice is making this into a
1:31
Speaker 3: pretty big thing. There's a specialist coming in from San Francisco.
1:34
Speaker 3: This gentleman, Dr.
1:35
Speaker 2: Cutter, is flying in.
1:35
Speaker 3: And I don't have any problem with that. This morning,
1:40
Speaker 3: as I was telling you before... We went on the air.
1:43
Speaker 3: At 7 o'clock, I was getting out of the shower,
1:45
Speaker 3: and my wife came to me and said, we need
1:48
Speaker 3: to be at the hospital by 10 on Saturday and Sunday. And,
1:52
Speaker 3: you know, it was one of those things where you
1:54
Speaker 3: kind of stop cold.
1:56
Speaker 2: You mentioned to her that the Super Bowl was on Sunday?
1:59
Speaker 3: Well, I said to her, you remember how I make
2:00
Speaker 3: my living.
2:02
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, you said what?
2:03
Speaker 3: I said to my wife, I said, do you remember
2:05
Speaker 3: how I make my living? I'm a football coach. And
2:09
Speaker 3: on Sunday, as you just said, Phil, something called the
2:12
Speaker 3: Super Bowl. And maybe you've read about it, you know,
2:15
Speaker 3: and I had to, because I had to get sarcastic.
2:17
Speaker 2: All right, but she's talking to you about your first
2:19
Speaker 2: grandchild who's in intensive care and the family coming together
2:24
Speaker 2: to be with your daughter and support her and the baby, right?
2:26
Speaker 3: But, Phil, one good thing I tell my students is this,
2:29
Speaker 3: you know, It's a good thing to believe in God,
2:32
Speaker 3: but remember, even God has to have some fun. And
2:35
Speaker 3: when God has fun, it's generally going to be at
2:37
Speaker 3: your expense. Don't allow... Let me tell you a story,
2:40
Speaker 3: because I'm a little bit older than you. Ten years ago,
2:43
Speaker 3: I sat.
2:43
Speaker 2: Well, wait a minute. I'm just asking you, isn't it
2:46
Speaker 2: better to be with your grandchild than to be watching
2:49
Speaker 2: the Super Bowl?
2:51
Speaker 3: I can answer that by telling you a story. From
2:54
Speaker 3: my life, this is what happened to me ten years ago.
2:57
Speaker 3: I was sitting by a telephone. And, in fact, Phil
3:01
Speaker 3: is on the same phone I'm talking to you on
3:02
Speaker 3: right now. And I was waiting for a call from
3:04
Speaker 3: the Denver Broncos. The word was that Dan Reeves, who
3:07
Speaker 3: was the head coach of the Broncos at that time,
3:08
Speaker 3: was going to offer me, the linebacker, a coach job
3:12
Speaker 3: for the Broncos. I would be a National Football League coach.
3:17
Speaker 3: But I learned something on that day. I learned that
3:21
Speaker 3: God knows what's going to happen. But I believe, and
3:24
Speaker 3: I don't want to offend anyone's belief system, but I
3:26
Speaker 3: believe that God gets his cheap kicks sometimes watching us
3:31
Speaker 3: mortals sweat and strain and bleed from every hole waiting
3:35
Speaker 3: for something that he isn't going to give us. And
3:37
Speaker 3: that call from the Denver Broncos never came. And I'm
3:42
Speaker 3: sure God had himself a real good time that day
3:46
Speaker 3: watching me sweat like a... I tell my wife I
3:49
Speaker 3: sweated like a priest in a whorehouse waiting for a
3:51
Speaker 3: call that never came. God knew it wasn't going to come.
3:54
Speaker 3: And he was getting his cheap kicks that day.
3:57
Speaker 2: Are you angry about that?
3:59
Speaker 3: I'm not angry. I just know how life is. Now, you,
4:03
Speaker 3: my wife, my daughter, these guys she's married to, you know,
4:06
Speaker 3: this guy she's married to, you all want me to
4:08
Speaker 3: go on the biggest day of the year for football,
4:09
Speaker 3: go down to the hospital, eat candy out of a machine,
4:12
Speaker 3: coffee out of a machine. I've got a son-in-law who's
4:15
Speaker 3: coming up, and he's a good man. My daughter loves him.
4:20
Speaker 3: But when he starts talking, I don't know what he's
4:22
Speaker 3: talking about. Standing over a grandson who was named, not
4:26
Speaker 3: after me, by the way, and this is a point
4:28
Speaker 3: I want to make, he was named after the father
4:30
Speaker 3: of the groom, Vernon, Vernon Conner. So he was named
4:34
Speaker 3: after my son-in-law's father, Dylan Conner. And I got to
4:38
Speaker 3: watch a kid named after a guy who I don't
4:41
Speaker 3: particularly like, this guy Boyle, and knows this, and he
4:47
Speaker 3: threw that in to make it burn like gunnery. And meanwhile,
4:50
Speaker 3: the biggest game in football goes on without me. So
4:53
Speaker 3: why do I want to put myself in for this?
4:55
Speaker 3: I don't understand your question.
4:56
Speaker 2: Well, all right. You don't want to go down to
4:58
Speaker 2: see your grandson who is in an incubator, right?
5:01
Speaker 3: He is in some kind of a life support device.
5:04
Speaker 3: I don't know. Do they call it an incubator?
5:05
Speaker 4: Yeah.
5:06
Speaker 3: But he's in the critical.
5:07
Speaker 2: All right. You don't want to go down and be
5:09
Speaker 2: with your grandson. Your wife has asked you, you want
5:11
Speaker 2: to watch the football because you're afraid of something happening?
5:14
Speaker 3: I'm not going to go down there so God can
5:16
Speaker 3: get his kicks watching me watch my grandson die when
5:20
Speaker 3: I can be watching the Super Bowl.
5:23
Speaker 2: All right, let me give our phone number out. 1-800-449-8686. 1-800-449-8686.
5:31
Speaker 2: I know you're a football coach and that the Super
5:33
Speaker 2: Bowl is very important to you, but it sounds to
5:35
Speaker 2: me like you are afraid your grandson's going to die
5:37
Speaker 2: and you don't want to be there.
5:39
Speaker 3: It's not that I don't want to be there. It's
5:40
Speaker 3: not that I'm afraid my grandson's going to die. I'm
5:43
Speaker 3: not going to let the man upstairs make a jackass
5:49
Speaker 3: out of me two times in a row. He's getting
5:52
Speaker 3: his thrills watching me get turned down for the job
5:55
Speaker 3: of the Broncos. Then he gets his cheap thrills watching
5:58
Speaker 3: me have to listen to my son-in-law. It isn't so
6:01
Speaker 3: much that my grandson's going to die. You know, the
6:05
Speaker 3: boy is named after the other man. What I'm saying
6:10
Speaker 3: is I don't want to go down there and have
6:12
Speaker 3: God get his thrills watching me get bored to tears
6:17
Speaker 3: talking to my son-in-law. And he's a good man, but
6:21
Speaker 3: he goes on and on about God, Jesus, man, I
6:25
Speaker 3: don't know what he's talking about. And meanwhile, the ball
6:28
Speaker 3: game's on. And by the way, the man that he's,
6:31
Speaker 3: the boy's named after.
6:32
Speaker 2: Now, what's the child's name?
6:35
Speaker 3: His name is Dylan Connor Boyle.
6:37
Speaker 2: Oh, the middle name is Connor.
6:39
Speaker 3: Yeah, Dylan Connor Boyle. And the man that he's named after,
6:42
Speaker 3: Dylan Boyle, who was the father of my son-in-law.
6:46
Speaker 2: Right.
6:46
Speaker 3: Guess where, do you think he's going to be in
6:49
Speaker 3: the hospital?
6:50
Speaker 2: I'm going to take it that you're going to tell
6:51
Speaker 2: me he's not.
6:52
Speaker 3: No, he's not. He's on a cruise with his second
6:55
Speaker 3: wife through the Panama Canal. And God knows what's going
7:02
Speaker 3: to happen. He's already made up his mind to watch
7:04
Speaker 3: me slowly die of boredom because it gives him a thrill.
7:08
Speaker 3: And he's going to be watching us cry and sweat
7:10
Speaker 3: because he needs his jollies.
7:15
Speaker 2: Well, Mr. Dozier, you are speaking to me about a
7:18
Speaker 2: God that some people believe in. A vengeful, hateful god.
7:22
Speaker 2: In fact, that was the kind of god that the
7:24
Speaker 2: Greeks believed in. The Greeks believed all the gods were
7:27
Speaker 2: just up there to get their jollies and get their kicks.
7:29
Speaker 3: Well, I'm going to tell you something right now. I
7:31
Speaker 3: don't know what you're talking about, but it doesn't sound
7:33
Speaker 3: to me like things have changed too damn much. Whether
7:35
Speaker 3: we had ten gods or one god, all of them
7:38
Speaker 3: are up there having themselves one whale of a time.
7:42
Speaker 3: Watching us burn like gonorrhea over all kinds of.
7:45
Speaker 2: Could you, I mean, you're using some phrasing.
7:47
Speaker 3: Forgive me, but it's just watching this game is very
7:52
Speaker 3: important to me. I'm a football coach. I live in
7:55
Speaker 3: brief football. And this is what I'm meant to do,
7:57
Speaker 3: watch this football game. And I'm not going to get
7:59
Speaker 3: gilded into anything.
8:00
Speaker 2: I want to talk to you just from the standpoint
8:02
Speaker 2: of your grandson.
8:04
Speaker 3: Okay?
8:05
Speaker 5: Yeah.
8:06
Speaker 2: Forget about God and forget about everything else. This is
8:09
Speaker 2: the first grandson you've got, right?
8:10
Speaker 3: That is correct.
8:11
Speaker 2: Okay. Don't you want him to pull through?
8:13
Speaker 3: Yes, of course I do, Mr.
8:14
Speaker 2: Henry.
8:14
Speaker 3: All right.
8:15
Speaker 2: Well, then, wouldn't you want to be down? And your daughter,
8:17
Speaker 2: you love your daughter.
8:18
Speaker 3: I have two wonderful girls. I love them both. And
8:22
Speaker 3: my daughter, who presented me with a grant, this beautiful child,
8:28
Speaker 3: is a great gal, okay? But when she got pregnant,
8:32
Speaker 3: I told her, I said, Kelly, listen to me. You're pregnant,
8:37
Speaker 3: and I'm supposed to be happy, but I know it's
8:39
Speaker 3: going to happen, okay? Because the man upstairs loves to
8:44
Speaker 3: screw with me. And you're going to get sick, or
8:49
Speaker 3: something's going to happen in your pregnancy, and then I'm
8:52
Speaker 3: going to sit in the hospital waiting for you to
8:54
Speaker 3: get better while the Super Bowl, number 38, goes on,
8:59
Speaker 3: and I don't get to watch it. And I said
9:02
Speaker 3: to her mother yesterday, and her mother almost threw something
9:04
Speaker 3: at me, because I said, hey, remember what I do
9:06
Speaker 3: for a living? I'm a football coach. I had to
9:09
Speaker 3: talk to her like I'm talking to some dumb cop
9:11
Speaker 3: in France. Hey, hey, because she don't remember.
9:15
Speaker 2: All right, if it's true that God knows what's going
9:18
Speaker 2: to happen to your grandson, and it's true that God
9:21
Speaker 2: knows what's going to happen to the Super Bowl, why
9:23
Speaker 2: watch the Super Bowl, too?
9:25
Speaker 3: Because at least I'm having fun. At least I'm having fun.
9:29
Speaker 3: I go to the hospital. And I've got to listen
9:32
Speaker 3: to my son-in-law. And I've got to eat garbage out
9:34
Speaker 3: of a machine.
9:37
Speaker 2: So you're not afraid that your grandson's going to die.
9:39
Speaker 2: You just don't want to go down to the hospital
9:41
Speaker 2: and get bored sick talking to your son-in-law?
9:43
Speaker 3: I don't want to be in a... Let me ask
9:44
Speaker 3: you a question, Mr. Henry, and I don't mean to
9:46
Speaker 3: insult you because you sound like an intelligent man. What
9:49
Speaker 3: reasonable man wants to spend his Sunday afternoon sitting in
9:52
Speaker 3: a hospital? Not even a doctor wants to go to
9:55
Speaker 3: a hospital on Sunday. You understand that? That is how
9:58
Speaker 3: disgusting and foul hospitals are. Okay, I know because I
10:02
Speaker 3: had an alcohol abuse problem back in my 20s, and
10:05
Speaker 3: I was strapped to a gurney, and I'm not proud
10:08
Speaker 3: of this, in a dry-out center in New Mexico. And
10:12
Speaker 3: I hated the living guts out of every doctor I saw,
10:14
Speaker 3: every nurse I saw. I wanted to strangle all of them.
10:18
Speaker 3: And since that time, I'm clean and sober. But I
10:21
Speaker 3: hate hospitals. And even doctors will tell you they can't
10:23
Speaker 3: stand going near them. Nobody likes going into hospitals. Patients
10:27
Speaker 3: hate them. The nurses hate the guts out of them
10:30
Speaker 3: because they don't like the patients, too. The doctors can't
10:32
Speaker 3: stand any of it. They ought to burn them onto
10:34
Speaker 3: the ground because they don't do anybody any good. You know,
10:38
Speaker 3: so why would I want to do that?
10:39
Speaker 2: All right, hold the line here. 1-800-449-8686. I've known this guy, Mr. Dozier,
10:42
Speaker 2: is a well-known high school prep coach. who doesn't want
10:48
Speaker 2: to go to the hospital this weekend to be with
10:51
Speaker 2: his daughter and his grandson, who was born premature and
10:56
Speaker 2: is on the critical list. Instead, he wants to watch
10:58
Speaker 2: the Super Bowl. And I said, well, obviously, I would
11:01
Speaker 2: ask the question anybody would ask, which is, what's more valuable,
11:03
Speaker 2: your grandson or the Super Bowl? He said, God knows
11:06
Speaker 2: what's going to happen to both of them.
11:07
Speaker 4: 1-800-449-8686.
11:08
Speaker 2: Make a monkey out of him.
11:09
Speaker 6: 1-800-449-8686.
11:15
Speaker 2: We're talking with Vernon Dozier, high school football coach at
11:18
Speaker 2: Belmar Academy. I'm Phil Hendry. We'll be right back. The
11:24
Speaker 2: Phil Hendry Show is back.
11:25
Speaker 3: I don't have any appreciation.
11:26
Speaker 2: All right, I'm back with Vernon Dozier. First of all, Vernon,
11:28
Speaker 2: I want to congratulate you on the birth of your grandson.
11:31
Speaker 3: Thank you.
11:32
Speaker 2: And I'm sorry that the child was born premature. And
11:34
Speaker 2: I know that, you know, with the good medical, you've
11:37
Speaker 2: got a specialist coming, and he's going to do well.
11:39
Speaker 2: But you don't want to be there at the hospital
11:40
Speaker 2: on Sunday. You want to be at home watching the
11:42
Speaker 2: Super Bowl.
11:43
Speaker 3: That is correct. I don't understand. My wife has made
11:46
Speaker 3: a big deal out of this. The doctor has. My
11:49
Speaker 3: daughter has. Even this, you know, the guy that my
11:52
Speaker 3: daughter's married to, who I am required to call a son-in-law.
11:56
Speaker 2: Now, I like the guy, but he's... What is it
11:59
Speaker 2: about this son-in-law you don't like?
12:01
Speaker 3: He's stupid. He's just stupid, that's all. He's just a
12:04
Speaker 3: stupid man, and I don't like being around stupid people,
12:08
Speaker 3: especially if I've got to sit and I'm locked in
12:12
Speaker 3: with this guy, right? So now the problem that I'm
12:15
Speaker 3: having is the guilt trip that everybody's laying on me.
12:18
Speaker 3: My grandson isn't going to know it's me. My grandson
12:21
Speaker 3: doesn't care if I live or die. Do you know that?
12:26
Speaker 2: He's a baby.
12:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know he's a baby, but the point is
12:28
Speaker 3: my grandson right now doesn't know I exist and couldn't
12:32
Speaker 3: care if I was tied to a post in an
12:39
Speaker 3: Asian country surrounded by Chinamen. who are playing the skin
12:43
Speaker 3: off of me he wouldn't care.
12:46
Speaker 2: He's a little baby in an incubator I understand he's
12:50
Speaker 2: a little.
12:50
Speaker 3: Baby but I'm going to spend my Sunday for him
12:53
Speaker 3: and he doesn't care if I die with blood in
12:56
Speaker 3: my mouth screaming you see the difference and you want
13:00
Speaker 3: me to blow out the.
13:01
Speaker 7: Super Bowl alright 1-800-449-8686 Annetta go ahead you're on the
13:06
Speaker 7: Phil Henry show hello yes ma'am go ahead um Number one.
13:11
Speaker 6: I really feel sorry for this guy that he thinks
13:15
Speaker 6: that God would use an innocent child to toy with him,
13:18
Speaker 6: number one.
13:18
Speaker 3: Well, why wouldn't he? He uses everything else. He uses women.
13:23
Speaker 3: He uses children. He uses everybody. Look, I don't believe
13:26
Speaker 3: that God's bad. I believe occasionally, especially with me, he
13:30
Speaker 3: wants to make a chimp out of me.
13:33
Speaker 6: Well, I'm really sorry you feel that way. And number two...
13:38
Speaker 6: My second comment is I work in a hospital in
13:41
Speaker 6: an operating room on the cardiac team. And I've seen
13:45
Speaker 6: babies come in at far more premature than your grandson. And,
13:49
Speaker 6: you know, you might not think that they know when
13:52
Speaker 6: somebody is there who loves them, but they really do.
13:55
Speaker 3: I understand that. I understand that. But he knows that
13:58
Speaker 3: I'm there. But all I am is just another pig
14:00
Speaker 3: face staring through the glass at him with my nose
14:02
Speaker 3: pressed up against it. And if someone were to come
14:06
Speaker 3: along and put a loaded weapon to my head at
14:08
Speaker 3: that instant and blow my brains all over that glass,
14:10
Speaker 3: the kid would just roll back over and go back
14:13
Speaker 3: to sleep, see? So I'm saying.
14:15
Speaker 6: But you know what, though? It's what you leave with
14:17
Speaker 6: your child that counts.
14:19
Speaker 3: I understand.
14:21
Speaker 6: If you were to drop dead today, not that I'm
14:23
Speaker 6: wishing it, but hypothetical situation, if you were.
14:26
Speaker 2: To die today.
14:26
Speaker 6: I couldn't do it. And you were dying looking at
14:29
Speaker 6: your grandchild, your daughter... would live your legacy in him saying,
14:35
Speaker 6: you know what, your grandfather died looking at you. You
14:39
Speaker 6: are the one thing that he treasured the most.
14:40
Speaker 3: Do you think that that would be a pleasant memory
14:43
Speaker 3: for my daughter to remember me getting an ax through
14:46
Speaker 3: my skull staring at my own grandson? Wait a minute.
14:49
Speaker 2: Why are you saying you're going to die a violent
14:51
Speaker 2: death while you're staring at your grandson?
14:53
Speaker 3: Look, I want to tell both of you something. This
14:58
Speaker 3: Super Bowl could be my last.
15:00
Speaker 6: Okay, I understand that. I'm not here to lay a
15:03
Speaker 6: guilt chip on you.
15:04
Speaker 3: I also use speed, and I know that I shouldn't
15:08
Speaker 3: use amphetamines. I could die of a heart attack this year.
15:13
Speaker 6: Sir, that is between you and your conscience of what
15:16
Speaker 6: you do on your free time. All I'm saying is
15:18
Speaker 6: I have two children. I have two boys, five and two.
15:22
Speaker 6: And all I'm saying is that they know... I mean,
15:26
Speaker 6: babies know.
15:27
Speaker 3: You'd think they do. They just know. When they're babies,
15:29
Speaker 3: they don't really know. And you sound like a nice lady,
15:31
Speaker 3: but you could be staring at your child lovingly, and
15:35
Speaker 3: suddenly someone comes through a window and puts an ax
15:37
Speaker 3: into your neck. And the kid, you know, seriously, you're laughing.
15:41
Speaker 2: Oh, my God, what an image.
15:44
Speaker 6: The thing is that I don't understand why you feel
15:46
Speaker 6: like you're going to die this horrible, violent death.
15:49
Speaker 3: Because I smoke and I drink and I take amphetamines
15:52
Speaker 3: and I've lived a bad life.
15:54
Speaker 4: You know what?
15:55
Speaker 6: Your odds of dying are better when you drive a car.
15:57
Speaker 2: True.
15:58
Speaker 3: All right, Annette, I've got to run.
15:59
Speaker 2: Thank you very much, though. Good call.
16:00
Speaker 3: 1-800-449-8686.
16:00
Speaker 2: You're afraid this is going to be your last Super Bowl?
16:05
Speaker 3: I am, Phil, because I don't live my life very well.
16:09
Speaker 3: I'm a heavy smoker. I also do not watch my
16:12
Speaker 3: alcohol intake.
16:15
Speaker 2: Why don't you clean your life up? You can live
16:16
Speaker 2: a long life for your grandson. What?
16:22
Speaker 3: Well, there you go again.
16:24
Speaker 2: Go again about what?
16:25
Speaker 3: Well, no, it's just that you and everybody, the grandson,
16:27
Speaker 3: the grandson, the grandson. I just got done telling you
16:32
Speaker 3: that I have an addiction to amphetamines, I smoke too much,
16:35
Speaker 3: and I drink too much. And you're there with the
16:38
Speaker 3: grandson thing all of a sudden. Everybody wants to break
16:40
Speaker 3: my balls for the grandson.
16:41
Speaker 2: Could you watch your language, sir?
16:43
Speaker 3: Forgive me, but everyone wants to keep hitting me over
16:46
Speaker 3: the head with a grandson. That kid doesn't know me
16:51
Speaker 3: from something he just left in his diaper. Honest to God,
16:56
Speaker 3: the kid doesn't know me. Why do I waste a
16:59
Speaker 3: Sunday for a kid that doesn't know me from the
17:03
Speaker 3: man on the bloody moon? I'm a football coach. And
17:07
Speaker 3: my wife....
17:10
Speaker 2: You're blaming your wife for forcing you to go to
17:12
Speaker 2: the hospital. She shouldn't have to force you.
17:15
Speaker 3: Well, she's guilting me into it.
17:16
Speaker 2: All right, and I understand that, but... All right, let
17:19
Speaker 2: me go to another call. Stephanie, you're on the Phil
17:21
Speaker 2: Henry Show. Go ahead. Stephanie?
17:25
Speaker 3: Yes.
17:25
Speaker 2: Go ahead, ma'am. I've just got... You need to turn
17:30
Speaker 2: your radio down, too.
17:33
Speaker 8: I've just got a comment for him.
17:37
Speaker 4: Yeah, oh, God.
17:39
Speaker 8: You're talking about the same God who saved me when
17:41
Speaker 8: I was 17 years old and my whole family rallied
17:44
Speaker 8: around me.
17:45
Speaker 3: Did you have a doctor?
17:46
Speaker 8: Yes, I did.
17:47
Speaker 3: That's who saved you.
17:48
Speaker 8: I had 12 of them.
17:49
Speaker 3: That's all 12 of those guys. You ought to be
17:50
Speaker 3: on your hands and knees kissing each and every one
17:52
Speaker 3: of their rear ends. God wanted to just monkey with you.
17:55
Speaker 3: He knew you were going to live. He had already
17:57
Speaker 3: preordained it. He had already preordained you were going to live,
18:00
Speaker 3: but he said, why don't we have Stephanie just lay
18:02
Speaker 3: there and suffer forever? I'll bring in 12 apes. We'll
18:06
Speaker 3: make monkeys out of everybody. I'll have a couple of laughs.
18:09
Speaker 2: Jesus, I mean, you do believe in a Greek version
18:13
Speaker 2: of God.
18:15
Speaker 3: You go again with Greek this, and you can't, you know.
18:17
Speaker 3: You guys want to talk about everything except me.
18:21
Speaker 8: Yeah, it's all about you. No, it's about the grandbaby.
18:27
Speaker 8: I've got two children myself, and my little boy almost
18:31
Speaker 8: died when he was two months old.
18:33
Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
18:34
Speaker 8: My parents were there for me.
18:35
Speaker 3: You know, what are you people going to do if
18:37
Speaker 3: you didn't have dead and sick kids? If I drop
18:40
Speaker 3: dead without seeing Super Bowl 38, from heaven above, I'll
18:43
Speaker 3: make sure to torment my wife, my daughter.
18:47
Speaker 8: Frankly, if I were the daughter, I'd already been saying
18:52
Speaker 8: I no longer have a father. He's dead.
18:54
Speaker 3: You know what I think? I think God sounds just
18:57
Speaker 3: like you. I think he's got a thick southern accent.
19:02
Speaker 2: Good.
19:02
Speaker 8: I'm proud of the way I sound. Thank you very much.
19:05
Speaker 3: I want to tell you something.
19:07
Speaker 2: Look, both of you need to hold on.
19:08
Speaker 3: 1-800-449-8686.
19:09
Speaker 2: This guy wants to watch the Super Bowl while his
19:13
Speaker 2: premature grandson may die this weekend. Phil Henry Show. The
19:15
Speaker 2: Phil Henry Show.
19:16
Speaker 4: 1-800-449-8686.
19:16
Speaker 2: God's favorite radio show.
19:43
Speaker 3: 1-800-449-8686. The Phil Hendry Show is back.
19:48
Speaker 2: We're back with Vernon Dozier. a football coach, a high
19:51
Speaker 2: school football coach who wants to be... Where are you
19:54
Speaker 2: right now?
19:55
Speaker 3: Phil, I'm shooting pool right now. I'm at Temple City Pool.
19:59
Speaker 2: Okay, you want to be... You want to watch the
20:02
Speaker 2: Super Bowl. You're a football coach.
20:04
Speaker 3: That's exactly right. I'm a football coach.
20:06
Speaker 2: But on Sunday, your wife wants everybody at the hospital
20:09
Speaker 2: to support your daughter... and your premature grandson who is
20:13
Speaker 2: in intensive care. I mean, what if he dies while
20:15
Speaker 2: you're at the Super Bowl and you're not there to
20:17
Speaker 2: console your daughter or your son-in-law or your wife?
20:20
Speaker 3: Well, all right, that's important. You know, you're right. But
20:23
Speaker 3: once again, here comes, you know, I'm at the hospital
20:27
Speaker 3: with my wife and daughter. If my grandson dies, okay,
20:33
Speaker 3: then God's getting his jollies. He's watching me sweat out
20:37
Speaker 3: the death of my grandson, consoling my wife, and I've
20:40
Speaker 3: got to sit there and listen to my son-in-law. And, oh, God,
20:45
Speaker 3: I've got to sit and listen to his stories. And
20:47
Speaker 3: if I'm not there when my grandson dies, then God
20:49
Speaker 3: can't touch me. I'm watching the game, having a beer,
20:53
Speaker 3: and God's up there kicking the wall and getting pissed
20:56
Speaker 3: off and kicking the bumper of whatever car he drives
20:59
Speaker 3: up there because he can't screw with me. And I'm
21:02
Speaker 3: down here, and I'm laughing my ass off. You see
21:05
Speaker 3: what I'm saying, Phil? So if you think I'm going
21:08
Speaker 3: to miss Beyonce, Noel, with that, oh, man, and all
21:15
Speaker 3: of the other things, to go down to a hospital
21:18
Speaker 3: and look at a kid who, when he looks back
21:20
Speaker 3: up at me, I might as well be the night janitor.
21:23
Speaker 3: I might as well be holding a broom, holding a dishrag,
21:26
Speaker 3: and a can of Windex. He wouldn't know me from
21:33
Speaker 3: some guy selling newspapers. Yeah, thanks a lot.
21:38
Speaker 2: And I told my wife. Well, no, all right. 1-800-449-8686.
21:43
Speaker 2: I know the kid's going to get to know you.
21:45
Speaker 2: Does that matter?
21:45
Speaker 3: When he gets to know me and he gets to
21:47
Speaker 3: respect me and appreciate me, then we've got ourselves what
21:49
Speaker 3: is called a bonded relationship. But until then, he's staring
21:52
Speaker 3: at me with that bug-eyed stare like I'm just another
21:54
Speaker 3: turd that the doctor's going to come and wipe away
21:59
Speaker 3: with an antiseptic rag. No, no, no, no, no.
22:01
Speaker 2: All right, here is John. Go ahead, John. You're on
22:04
Speaker 2: the Phil Henry Show.
22:05
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've got a couple things to say.
22:08
Speaker 2: First of all, it's no wonder why the young people
22:10
Speaker 2: of today are screwed up as they are when.
22:12
Speaker 3: They've got supposed role models.
22:14
Speaker 4: Like this idiot as a football coach.
22:17
Speaker 3: Wait a minute. Supposed to be a leader.
22:19
Speaker 4: You're not a football coach.
22:21
Speaker 8: You're a coward.
22:22
Speaker 3: Oh, listen to you. I am going to watch the
22:26
Speaker 3: greatest football game.
22:28
Speaker 6: You're a selfish coward.
22:30
Speaker 3: Now, you listen to me. You know what? That kid
22:33
Speaker 3: should do, you should.
22:34
Speaker 2: Do that kid a favor and die this year so
22:37
Speaker 2: he doesn't have to know you.
22:38
Speaker 3: Hey, how come I'm a coward? How does that make
22:40
Speaker 3: me a coward? You are a selfish coward. Look, I
22:43
Speaker 3: know you know how to pronounce the word, but do
22:45
Speaker 3: you know what it means? You're not a football coach.
22:46
Speaker 3: Do you know what it means?
22:47
Speaker 2: A football coach is supposed to be a leader. Hold on,
22:49
Speaker 2: hold on, hold on, hold on.
22:51
Speaker 6: You're a coward.
22:51
Speaker 2: Either we're going to have a conversation here. Johnny, I
22:53
Speaker 2: asked you a question.
22:55
Speaker 3: What is it? I want to ask you a question, John.
22:57
Speaker 3: I know you know how to pronounce coward, because you've
23:00
Speaker 3: said it nine times. Do you know the definition of it?
23:03
Speaker 8: Oh, yeah, yeah.
23:04
Speaker 3: What's it mean?
23:05
Speaker 4: Somebody who runs away from responsibility.
23:08
Speaker 3: Oh, you're a pussy. Do you know what that means? Oh,
23:09
Speaker 3: I am?
23:10
Speaker 2: All right, now wait a second. Wait a second, okay?
23:13
Speaker 3: You're hilarious. You know what that means? I'm just sorry
23:15
Speaker 3: for your family. No, it's not responsibility. I'm the grandfather.
23:18
Speaker 3: I had the girl. Now I'm going to watch a
23:19
Speaker 3: football game and not go down and look at some
23:21
Speaker 3: kid looking at me like I'm stupid, okay? I tell
23:23
Speaker 3: you what, you're the kind of guy that gets knocked
23:25
Speaker 3: over a baby.
23:27
Speaker 5: Like you said you were going to.
23:28
Speaker 3: You want to know the story?
23:29
Speaker 4: Do it.
23:30
Speaker 3: Where are you at right now?
23:30
Speaker 6: Do it, pal.
23:31
Speaker 3: Where are you at right now? I'm in Atlanta.
23:33
Speaker 2: Where are you?
23:34
Speaker 3: Oh, convenient for you that you're all the way to
23:35
Speaker 3: the other side of the country. Convenient. And if I wasn't,
23:39
Speaker 3: what difference would that make? Well, did you ever see Deliverance?
23:42
Speaker 5: Of course.
23:43
Speaker 3: You know what happened to that guy, don't you? Oh, yeah. Yeah,
23:45
Speaker 3: that'd be you on the bottom.
23:47
Speaker 1: Oh, that's right.
23:49
Speaker 3: That's right. By a coward like you? That's right, son. Yeah.
23:51
Speaker 4: You're hilarious.
23:52
Speaker 3: I bet you we're the same. I bet you we're
23:54
Speaker 3: the same. You're giving me a real call?
23:55
Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
23:56
Speaker 3: You can't be.
23:57
Speaker 2: You've got to be a joke. Are you kidding with
23:58
Speaker 2: us or something, Mr. Dozier, about all of this stuff?
24:02
Speaker 3: Nobody can be as cold-hearted and ignorant. Oh, what are
24:05
Speaker 3: you talking about? Have you got any kids? Have you
24:07
Speaker 3: got any kids, pussy?
24:08
Speaker 2: Look, I don't want to hear that word anymore, okay?
24:11
Speaker 3: You what? I've got a child.
24:12
Speaker 2: My first child is scheduled to be born within three weeks.
24:15
Speaker 3: What do you feel about the fact that that kid
24:17
Speaker 3: couldn't care whether you live or die? How do you
24:19
Speaker 3: think about that? Oh, yeah. He's still sitting inside your
24:23
Speaker 3: wife's womb and he cares about you. You know what, John?
24:26
Speaker 3: That kid doesn't care if you were going to run
24:28
Speaker 3: over by a truck tomorrow. You know, how does a
24:31
Speaker 3: kid know you? Wait a second.
24:32
Speaker 2: Is the kid telepathic?
24:34
Speaker 3: Oh, man, I'd love it. It's no wonder why God
24:37
Speaker 3: loves screwing with you. What happens if you get a
24:40
Speaker 3: fire axe in your garage?
24:40
Speaker 5: No wonder why God loves screwing with you.
24:42
Speaker 3: Hey, God's screwing with you. You think your kid loves you.
24:44
Speaker 2: I've got a great life, pal.
24:46
Speaker 4: I love my life.
24:47
Speaker 3: He's messing with you. Do us all a favor and
24:49
Speaker 3: end it, man. How do you feel about it, man?
24:51
Speaker 3: God's screwing with you.
24:52
Speaker 1: You are hilarious.
24:53
Speaker 3: Your kid's probably dumber.
24:54
Speaker 2: Than my grandson.
24:55
Speaker 3: You're like a cartoon character. Honest to God, your kid's
24:57
Speaker 3: probably dumber than my grandson.
24:58
Speaker 2: This is going nowhere. You guys are just calling each
25:01
Speaker 2: other names. It's boring for the audience.
25:02
Speaker 3: No, his kid is probably this. Hey, John, your kid's
25:07
Speaker 3: probably dumber than my grandson.
25:09
Speaker 2: All right, I'm hanging up on this guy, and unless
25:11
Speaker 2: you get it under control.
25:12
Speaker 3: I just want to tell that guy one thing. I
25:16
Speaker 3: hope his kid grows up big enough and strong enough.
25:20
Speaker 3: to kick his dad's ass off of a freeway overpass
25:22
Speaker 3: one night. As they're strolling along, talking about life, I
25:26
Speaker 3: hope the kid just turns and kicks his dad into traffic. Oh,
25:30
Speaker 3: I'd love to see it. Oh, God.
25:36
Speaker 2: You know something, I, uh.
25:37
Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no. I don't want you to
25:38
Speaker 3: tell me nothing. I don't want you to tell me nothing.
25:42
Speaker 3: I'm gonna watch the Super Bowl on Sunday. And no,
25:48
Speaker 3: no count... Two-bit Georgia fag is going to.
25:53
Speaker 2: All right, that's it. One more, and I'm hanging up. Donna,
25:57
Speaker 2: go ahead. Donna?
26:00
Speaker 4: Yeah?
26:00
Speaker 2: You're on the Phil Henry Show. Go ahead.
26:02
Speaker 4: Okay, thank you, Phil. The point I want to make
26:05
Speaker 4: is it's not about the grandchild. It really is about
26:09
Speaker 4: your daughter, and it's about your wife, and it's showing
26:12
Speaker 4: them that you love them.
26:14
Speaker 3: Right, see how selfish they are?
26:16
Speaker 2: No, no, no.
26:16
Speaker 4: See how loving you are. And you know what else?
26:19
Speaker 4: I'll tell you what. I bet you anything that football
26:22
Speaker 4: game is going to be on television at the hospital.
26:25
Speaker 4: So you're going to get a win-win situation where you're
26:28
Speaker 4: going to get to watch your show and support your wife.
26:31
Speaker 2: What about watching the game at the hospital, Vernon?
26:33
Speaker 3: Okay, let me explain something to the lady and to you.
26:36
Speaker 4: My name's Donna.
26:37
Speaker 3: Okay, Donna. First of all, when you watch the Super Bowl,
26:41
Speaker 3: you do it with beer. You do it with finger
26:44
Speaker 3: foods and hot dogs and whatnot. In the hospital, there
26:48
Speaker 3: ain't no bar. I don't know whether you've been to
26:50
Speaker 3: a hospital lately, but they don't sell beer there. Number two,
26:54
Speaker 3: I'm not watching the Super Bowl eating candy out of
26:56
Speaker 3: a machine. And number three, I'm not watching the Super
26:59
Speaker 3: Bowl with the stupidest human being that I've ever met
27:02
Speaker 3: in my life, my son-in-law. That's not going to happen.
27:04
Speaker 3: I would rather strangle myself with my belt. Okay, a question.
27:08
Speaker 3: I've got a question for you.
27:10
Speaker 4: I understand your feeling towards your son-in-law is very negative. However,
27:14
Speaker 4: if you don't support his wife, whom he loves, you
27:18
Speaker 4: will never live it down.
27:21
Speaker 6: Ever.
27:22
Speaker 3: Can I just tell you something?
27:23
Speaker 4: Is that true or not?
27:24
Speaker 3: Okay. I'll answer your question if you just listen to
27:27
Speaker 3: this one thing. Sure. My daughter married an a-hole who
27:32
Speaker 3: named my grandson Dylan. Not Vernon.
27:34
Speaker 2: Dylan.
27:35
Speaker 4: Dylan.
27:36
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so sorry.
27:37
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry he didn't name them after you.
27:40
Speaker 3: Well, why are they naming it? after an alcoholic who's
27:43
Speaker 3: with his third wife going through the Panama Canal right now.
27:46
Speaker 2: Wait a minute.
27:47
Speaker 4: You just told me you were an alcoholic.
27:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, but okay, but this guy's living it up like
27:52
Speaker 3: he don't know he's got an alcohol problem, and he's
27:54
Speaker 3: got this beast-ass wife with the collagen lips.
27:56
Speaker 2: All right, now I need for you to remember you're
27:58
Speaker 2: talking to a lady.
27:58
Speaker 4: That has nothing to do with you, and it has
28:01
Speaker 4: nothing to do with you and your daughter.
28:04
Speaker 2: Listen to what Donna's saying is, Forget about the stupid son-in-law.
28:09
Speaker 2: Forget about the stupid everybody. The daughter who you love.
28:12
Speaker 4: The daughter?
28:14
Speaker 3: Because let me tell you something.
28:15
Speaker 2: And your wife.
28:16
Speaker 4: You love your wife, huh?
28:18
Speaker 3: Will you people quit yelling at me? Vernon, I'm sorry.
28:20
Speaker 4: Listen, you've got to hear this because I'll tell you why.
28:23
Speaker 3: Calm it down. Calm it down. Calm it down. I've
28:25
Speaker 3: got a blood pressure problem. I've been on two beta blockers.
28:29
Speaker 4: Vernon, Vernon, I understand you're very worried that you're going
28:32
Speaker 4: to die soon.
28:33
Speaker 3: Oh, I know I'm going to die.
28:34
Speaker 4: Okay, Vernon, listen to me. If you support your daughter,
28:39
Speaker 4: when you die, she will love you. But if you
28:42
Speaker 4: don't support your daughter, when you die, she'll say, yeah,
28:45
Speaker 4: he didn't even come to my son's. because of the
28:49
Speaker 4: football game.
28:49
Speaker 3: Can I ask a question at this point? Can I
28:51
Speaker 3: ask a question? It's not going to be worth it.
28:53
Speaker 3: If I die and my daughter still loves me, how
28:55
Speaker 3: am I going to know it? I'm going to be dead.
28:57
Speaker 3: It's not going to be any good to me.
28:59
Speaker 4: She loves you.
29:00
Speaker 3: I don't care.
29:01
Speaker 2: She loves you, okay?
29:02
Speaker 3: It ain't going to do me any good if I'm croaked.
29:04
Speaker 3: Are you people crazy? And that Boyle guy's on a
29:07
Speaker 3: cruise drinking a cocktail with an entire banana sticking out
29:10
Speaker 3: of it. You know that? You want me to sit
29:12
Speaker 3: in a hospital that smells like hobo urine while that
29:14
Speaker 3: guy's down on a cruise to the.
29:16
Speaker 4: I don't care about that guy, and neither do you.
29:19
Speaker 2: Donna, that's a very good advice you gave me, and
29:21
Speaker 2: I thank you for your call, okay? 1-800-449-8686. You know,
29:25
Speaker 2: she's really like.
29:27
Speaker 3: Here you go. I'm going to be in a hospital
29:30
Speaker 3: that smells like five different varieties of piss. Okay. While
29:37
Speaker 3: my son-in-law runs his mouth. and i want to hurt
29:41
Speaker 3: him so bad i.
29:44
Speaker 2: I think you're stressed out man oh really.
29:47
Speaker 3: Did you how'd you just figure.
29:48
Speaker 2: That one out or uh no it sounds to me
29:50
Speaker 2: and don't be sarcastic okay i'm stressed.
29:52
Speaker 3: Out really i i I didn't think of that. Thank you.
29:55
Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I'm so glad I'm the guest
29:57
Speaker 3: on a God-blessed talk show.
30:02
Speaker 2: Sheila, go ahead.
30:04
Speaker 5: Yes, I have a similar point to Donna's. I really
30:07
Speaker 5: think you should be there to support your daughter, and
30:10
Speaker 5: she's the one who needs your love and support. And
30:12
Speaker 5: I don't understand... why it seems like you are more
30:16
Speaker 5: interested in smiting God and making a joke out of
30:20
Speaker 5: God than you are about supporting your daughter who needs
30:22
Speaker 5: your love and support.
30:24
Speaker 3: You want me to go down and support my daughter
30:26
Speaker 3: so God can get his kicks laughing at me? No,
30:29
Speaker 3: I want you to go down and.
30:30
Speaker 5: Support your daughter because she needs you right now.
30:34
Speaker 3: My daughter has got my.
30:35
Speaker 5: And one would hope that if.
30:36
Speaker 3: Sheila, the only thing my daughter wants out of me
30:39
Speaker 3: is a check for a couple of thousand dollars. Occasionally
30:43
Speaker 3: give her a loan so she can... You know, make
30:45
Speaker 3: their mortgage payment occasionally, give her a loan because she
30:47
Speaker 3: saw a dress she wanted. Occasionally buy some toys for
30:50
Speaker 3: the kids. That's all she wants out of me, okay?
30:52
Speaker 3: I know how the game's played. And all I want
30:55
Speaker 3: is for on Sunday afternoon to sit down and watch
30:57
Speaker 3: the Super Bowl. Now, if you and Mr. Henry really
30:59
Speaker 3: want me to go to the hospital, I'm going to
31:01
Speaker 3: tell you something right now. I'll do it. I'll go
31:04
Speaker 3: down to the hospital. I'll sit and I'll smell the urine.
31:10
Speaker 3: I'll talk to that son-in-law. I'll take a look at
31:13
Speaker 3: the kid in the glass who doesn't know me from
31:15
Speaker 3: a lump of turd in his diapers. And I'll do
31:18
Speaker 3: it all because you people browbeat me into it. Both
31:21
Speaker 3: of you and everybody that I've talked to tonight can
31:24
Speaker 3: go straight to the hot spot. Damn it.
31:28
Speaker 2: Listen to that. He just hung up.
31:31
Speaker 3: Okay.
31:31
Speaker 2: This is a psycho. Yeah. I mean, tell me, is
31:35
Speaker 2: he psycho or what?
31:37
Speaker 4: I would be.
31:38
Speaker 5: Pretty concerned about his mental state if I were anyone
31:42
Speaker 5: in his family.
31:43
Speaker 2: I wouldn't even want to say that he has a
31:44
Speaker 2: mental state. I think it's completely, you know, this is
31:48
Speaker 2: a guy.
31:49
Speaker 5: You know, and every argument that somebody came up with
31:51
Speaker 5: that was like a different, better argument, then he would
31:54
Speaker 5: just turn it back to, well, fine, then it's, you know,
31:57
Speaker 5: something else. Or then I, you know, stop making fun
32:00
Speaker 5: of me.
32:01
Speaker 2: Obviously, he lost some. Okay, wait a minute. Have you
32:05
Speaker 2: called back, sir?
32:07
Speaker 3: I wanted to say something.
32:07
Speaker 2: You're not going to hang a phone up on me, though.
32:09
Speaker 2: If you hang his phone up on me one more time.
32:15
Speaker 3: My son-in-law impregnated my daughter with a grandson that right
32:18
Speaker 3: now looks like a piece of cheese, and you want
32:20
Speaker 3: me to go down and.
32:27
Speaker 2: But that's a hell of a thing to say about
32:28
Speaker 2: your grandson.
32:29
Speaker 3: Plus, you want me to miss the Super Bowl commercials,
32:32
Speaker 3: which everybody talks about the next day.
32:35
Speaker 5: I don't think anybody wants you to miss the Super
32:37
Speaker 5: Bowl commercials. They just don't want you to miss.
32:39
Speaker 3: Out on the love for your daughter. What are you
32:42
Speaker 3: doing Sunday?
32:44
Speaker 5: Probably grocery shopping.
32:46
Speaker 3: Are you a married woman?
32:48
Speaker 4: No, I'm not.
32:49
Speaker 3: May I ask you how old you.
32:54
Speaker 5: Are? You can, but I don't see how it's relevant.
32:59
Speaker 3: I wanted to know if you'd like to have a drink.
33:03
Speaker 5: No, I'm not interested in a drink, thank you.
33:07
Speaker 3: I was just asking. I don't think it's a war crime.
33:11
Speaker 3: Are you over 18?
33:12
Speaker 2: I guess she is if she's going grocery shopping. And
33:14
Speaker 2: what are you asking her out for a drink for?
33:17
Speaker 3: I want to have somebody to watch the Super Bowl with.
33:19
Speaker 2: Get out of here! I'm sorry, Sheila.
33:24
Speaker 5: I'd much rather support your daughter at the hospital than
33:27
Speaker 5: watch the Super.
33:27
Speaker 3: Bowl with you. I'll tell you what, I'll give you
33:29
Speaker 3: the address, okay? I hope you're very happy together.
33:31
Speaker 8: Okay.
33:35
Speaker 1: The world-famous Phil Henry Show is executive produced by Phil
33:46
Speaker 2: God!